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!Joe Flanigan (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dr_dolittle) wrote,@ 2009-01-28 21:14:00 |
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Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. Enter the gay bunnies.
[Not so very long after Joe and David acquire Mars.]
Max and Mars meet David at the door when he comes home from work. "Hey, guys," he says, "make some room for me, huh?" He toes out of his shoes, drops his satchel by the stairs, and takes off his jacket.
"Joe? You home, gorgeous?" he calls out.
Joe's settled in on the living room carpet, leaning forward and talking softly and calmly, more or less under his breath. He's been there for awhile now, doing more or less exactly the same thing.
"Joe? Are you home?" David's got a large Tupperware container in his hands as he wanders through the house and into the kitchen.
"In here," Joe calls out from the living room, still plunked down on his butt. "How was your day?"
"It was a good day," David replies, from the kitchen. "Remember that lawyer--Ms Gellar--whose laptop I saved at the end of the day yesterday?"
"Uh... yes--yes, I remember you telling me that," Joe says. "What about her?"
"Somehow, despite being a super-busy lawyer, she managed to find time to bake me some oatmeal cookies. She dropped them by just as I was leaving."
"Isn't that sweet of her!" Joe says, sounding very 'aww' about the whole thing. "Are they any good, or does she bake like, well. A super-busy lawyer?"
"They're quite good, though they do taste kind of like one of those just-add-liquids premix concoction thingies. Want a couple? And some milk?"
"I'd love some. Any plans for dinner? I haven't thought of anything yet, although I've been eyeing the pizza delivery menus," Joe admits.
"I left some chicken to thaw in the refrigerator," David says. "I just thought I'd bake it, cook up some rice, and do some vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower sound good?" He pours some milk, grabs a couple of cookies and joins Joe in the family room. There's a rabbit hutch. That's new. He hands over the milk and cookies, then wanders back to the kitchen.
"Thanks," Joe says, taking a drink of milk, then a bite of cookie, then setting them both down, his attention going back to the pair of rabbits. "And... yeah, I think that sounds good. Maybe some raw vegetables too, or a salad. I can help with that if you want." If there's anything left after what he's given the bunnies.
Rabbit. Hutch. David pauses halfway to the refrigerator, then goes back to the family room. "Joe."
"Uh huh?"
"There are bunnies."
"Two of them," Joe confirms.
"It would appear that they are currently mating."
Joe looks down, then up again. "Yeah... they do that a lot."
"Well, you know, they're rabbits."
"That's Bert, and that's Ernie," Joe points.
"They're boys?"
"Uh huh."
"And they're going at it like horny teenagers."
"Ye-eah... like I said. They do that. A lot. Bert and Ernie are lovers," Joe says.
"Bert and Ernie."
"I didn't name them!"
"Well, they're kind of dumb names."
"The guy's toddler named them after the characters on Sesame Street," Joe explains, a hint of 'pissed off' showing in his face.
"Well, that's kinda cute," David says, sitting down next to Joe.
"And then they started doing this, and they thought, okay, Bert must be 'Roberta' and then... they switched positions."
David suddenly giggles.
"Yes. They're gay bunnies who switch."
"They're gay bunnies. That's so sweet. How long are we lodging them? No room at the inn, so to speak?"
Joe shifts uncomfortably. "They... the guy brought them in, and told me what they were doing, and told me to fix them. Not fix like... 'fix', but make them not be like that. And I said that even if I did, uh, neuter them, they'd probably still continue with the behavior, now that it was established. And he told me to put them down."
David turns slowly and stares at him. "What."
"He did, David. And I refused, and he tried to take them back and said he'd do it himself, and I told him to get the hell out before I called the police, and..." Joe gestures down at the cage. "Gay bunnies in the living room."
"He wanted you to kill them because they're gay."
Joe nods, all sad eyed.
David bites his lip, then stands abruptly and walks over to the window.
"I'll find them a home, if you want, David--as soon as I can, I promise, but I had to bring them home. They're gay bunnies in love," he mutters, poking at the hutch.
David sniffles loudly. "I understand," he says.
Joe gets up and goes over to him when he hears the sniff, wrapping both arms around David's waist.
"Would that sonofabitch be just as happy to kill us?" David demands.
"Hey... people are idiots. And when parallels come up in the animal kingdom to point out that homosexuality isn't just something for humans, it freaks them out. He's not welcome at my practice anymore. He's been blackballed, across the board. No more Mr. Homophobe."
David wipes at his eyes. "Good."
"Want me to help make dinner?" Joe murmurs, swaying him gently back and forth. "And after, if they're done boffing each other, we could snuggle and snuggle the bunnies?"
David smiles and wipes his eyes again. "Only if you promise to boff me tonight."
"You wanna be Bert or Ernie?"
"See, keep calling them that, then all I can picture are the Muppets, and I'm instantly turned off."
"You want to look at bunnies and be turned on?" Joe raises an eyebrow.
David sticks his tongue out at him.
"Love you."
"It's a good thing," David says, turning around and wrapping his arms around Joe's neck. He leans up for a kiss, then says, "Let's leave the bunnies some privacy and make dinner."
"Mmm. Fair warning? We might be a little low on some things out of the vegetable crisper," Joe admits, kissing David again.
"You're on the early shift tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah... I got home awhile ago, but I didn't get anything done because of the bunnies," Joe says.
"Okay," David says, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen. "Just because the bunnies have a tragic story, doesn't get you out of veggie-restocking tomorrow."
"It won't," Joe promises. "I need to get them some proper bunny food too, but we were low, and I didn't want to stop with them in the car."
David pauses just by the rabbits' cage, then says, "You know, I've never had rabbits. I always heard 'shagging like rabbits' and all, but... don't they ever get tired?"
"I haven't really asked them," Joe admits. "Mostly because... they haven't really stopped for long enough for me to have a real conversation with them."
Suddenly David's giggling again. "Oh, my god."
"What?" Joe says, coming up to him and grinning.
"Gay, horny bunnies!" David giggles and flees to the kitchen.
Joe cracks up, shakes his head, and follows after the giggling David.
[Not so very long after Joe and David acquire Mars.]
Max and Mars meet David at the door when he comes home from work. "Hey, guys," he says, "make some room for me, huh?" He toes out of his shoes, drops his satchel by the stairs, and takes off his jacket.
"Joe? You home, gorgeous?" he calls out.
Joe's settled in on the living room carpet, leaning forward and talking softly and calmly, more or less under his breath. He's been there for awhile now, doing more or less exactly the same thing.
"Joe? Are you home?" David's got a large Tupperware container in his hands as he wanders through the house and into the kitchen.
"In here," Joe calls out from the living room, still plunked down on his butt. "How was your day?"
"It was a good day," David replies, from the kitchen. "Remember that lawyer--Ms Gellar--whose laptop I saved at the end of the day yesterday?"
"Uh... yes--yes, I remember you telling me that," Joe says. "What about her?"
"Somehow, despite being a super-busy lawyer, she managed to find time to bake me some oatmeal cookies. She dropped them by just as I was leaving."
"Isn't that sweet of her!" Joe says, sounding very 'aww' about the whole thing. "Are they any good, or does she bake like, well. A super-busy lawyer?"
"They're quite good, though they do taste kind of like one of those just-add-liquids premix concoction thingies. Want a couple? And some milk?"
"I'd love some. Any plans for dinner? I haven't thought of anything yet, although I've been eyeing the pizza delivery menus," Joe admits.
"I left some chicken to thaw in the refrigerator," David says. "I just thought I'd bake it, cook up some rice, and do some vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower sound good?" He pours some milk, grabs a couple of cookies and joins Joe in the family room. There's a rabbit hutch. That's new. He hands over the milk and cookies, then wanders back to the kitchen.
"Thanks," Joe says, taking a drink of milk, then a bite of cookie, then setting them both down, his attention going back to the pair of rabbits. "And... yeah, I think that sounds good. Maybe some raw vegetables too, or a salad. I can help with that if you want." If there's anything left after what he's given the bunnies.
Rabbit. Hutch. David pauses halfway to the refrigerator, then goes back to the family room. "Joe."
"Uh huh?"
"There are bunnies."
"Two of them," Joe confirms.
"It would appear that they are currently mating."
Joe looks down, then up again. "Yeah... they do that a lot."
"Well, you know, they're rabbits."
"That's Bert, and that's Ernie," Joe points.
"They're boys?"
"Uh huh."
"And they're going at it like horny teenagers."
"Ye-eah... like I said. They do that. A lot. Bert and Ernie are lovers," Joe says.
"Bert and Ernie."
"I didn't name them!"
"Well, they're kind of dumb names."
"The guy's toddler named them after the characters on Sesame Street," Joe explains, a hint of 'pissed off' showing in his face.
"Well, that's kinda cute," David says, sitting down next to Joe.
"And then they started doing this, and they thought, okay, Bert must be 'Roberta' and then... they switched positions."
David suddenly giggles.
"Yes. They're gay bunnies who switch."
"They're gay bunnies. That's so sweet. How long are we lodging them? No room at the inn, so to speak?"
Joe shifts uncomfortably. "They... the guy brought them in, and told me what they were doing, and told me to fix them. Not fix like... 'fix', but make them not be like that. And I said that even if I did, uh, neuter them, they'd probably still continue with the behavior, now that it was established. And he told me to put them down."
David turns slowly and stares at him. "What."
"He did, David. And I refused, and he tried to take them back and said he'd do it himself, and I told him to get the hell out before I called the police, and..." Joe gestures down at the cage. "Gay bunnies in the living room."
"He wanted you to kill them because they're gay."
Joe nods, all sad eyed.
David bites his lip, then stands abruptly and walks over to the window.
"I'll find them a home, if you want, David--as soon as I can, I promise, but I had to bring them home. They're gay bunnies in love," he mutters, poking at the hutch.
David sniffles loudly. "I understand," he says.
Joe gets up and goes over to him when he hears the sniff, wrapping both arms around David's waist.
"Would that sonofabitch be just as happy to kill us?" David demands.
"Hey... people are idiots. And when parallels come up in the animal kingdom to point out that homosexuality isn't just something for humans, it freaks them out. He's not welcome at my practice anymore. He's been blackballed, across the board. No more Mr. Homophobe."
David wipes at his eyes. "Good."
"Want me to help make dinner?" Joe murmurs, swaying him gently back and forth. "And after, if they're done boffing each other, we could snuggle and snuggle the bunnies?"
David smiles and wipes his eyes again. "Only if you promise to boff me tonight."
"You wanna be Bert or Ernie?"
"See, keep calling them that, then all I can picture are the Muppets, and I'm instantly turned off."
"You want to look at bunnies and be turned on?" Joe raises an eyebrow.
David sticks his tongue out at him.
"Love you."
"It's a good thing," David says, turning around and wrapping his arms around Joe's neck. He leans up for a kiss, then says, "Let's leave the bunnies some privacy and make dinner."
"Mmm. Fair warning? We might be a little low on some things out of the vegetable crisper," Joe admits, kissing David again.
"You're on the early shift tomorrow, right?"
"Yeah... I got home awhile ago, but I didn't get anything done because of the bunnies," Joe says.
"Okay," David says, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen. "Just because the bunnies have a tragic story, doesn't get you out of veggie-restocking tomorrow."
"It won't," Joe promises. "I need to get them some proper bunny food too, but we were low, and I didn't want to stop with them in the car."
David pauses just by the rabbits' cage, then says, "You know, I've never had rabbits. I always heard 'shagging like rabbits' and all, but... don't they ever get tired?"
"I haven't really asked them," Joe admits. "Mostly because... they haven't really stopped for long enough for me to have a real conversation with them."
Suddenly David's giggling again. "Oh, my god."
"What?" Joe says, coming up to him and grinning.
"Gay, horny bunnies!" David giggles and flees to the kitchen.
Joe cracks up, shakes his head, and follows after the giggling David.
