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!Joe Flanigan (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} dr_dolittle) wrote,@ 2009-03-13 06:48:00 |
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Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with Karl Urban. Date Night.
[Sometime not so long after Karl gets hired.]
"Joe!" Karl greets Joe enthusiastically when he comes into the geek shop. "How're you doing, mate?"
"I'm good--really good," Joe grins. It had been a good day--nothing catastrophic, for once--and his assistant had shown up with a surprise for him. Which is why Joe's here now. "The boss around, or is he working too hard, as usual?"
"He's working too hard," Karl replies, but he points to the back, where David's office is. "I think he's on the phone, giving a supplier hell. Six hard drives they sent him early last year have failed." He frowns. "Justin said he's never seen Dave so mad."
Joe winces--and not even at the 'Dave'. That's just Karl. "That is bad... he doesn't really get mad. Hopefully I can coax him out of the bad mood though," Joe says, grinning at Karl and showing him the flowers he's been hiding behind his back.
Karl grins back. "Aren't you the most thoughtful boyfriend ever? I can definitely see Dave as a carnation fella, too. They're lovely. You go on through and surprise him. I'm not looking to get any shorter by interrupting him."
"Thanks," Joe says, shifting the bag he's carrying higher up on his shoulder, then walking softly into David's office, hiding the flowers behind him again.
"No, that is not an acceptable option." David isn't shouting into the phone, but he's as close as he'd ever get. "No, six. Of a shipment of ten. Sixty percent isn't the kind of number anyone should be happy with. Yes. Yes, please have Tom call me tomorrow. That's right. And your name was, again? Karen. Thank you, Karen. I'm in the shop ten to six, CST. Thank you." With a heavy sigh, he hangs up the phone and cradles his head in his hands, entirely unaware that Joe's standing in the doorway.
"So... I hear you're having a bad day," Joe says after a few moments, hoping that he won't startle David too badly.
David does start, though only a little. He smiles when he looks up. "Today was poo," he announces solemnly.
Joe offers him the flowers. "Any better now?"
"Carnations," David says, breaking into a bright, crooked smile. "Joe, they're gorgeous." He gets up and takes the flowers, then leans up to give Joe a kiss. "Thank you."
"And I didn't even know that your day was poo," Joe adds, smiling at him and extending the kiss.
"It's like you just know the right thing to do." David wraps his arms around Joe's shoulders and kisses him again. "You're the best, gorgeous."
"Does Karl really call you 'Dave' all the time?" Joe murmurs, right against his lips. "And I haven't even started being the best yet..." he says, trailing off mysteriously.
"Yeah, he does, and what do you mean? The best?" David keeps his arms draped over Joe's shoulders.
Joe reaches his arms around David and tucks something into his back pocket, still looking all mysterious and such.
"You tease," David laughs, reaching back to tug... two theatre tickets out of his pocket. "You spoil the hell out of me, you know that? But, God, look at me, Joe. I'm a mess."
"They're from Ashley, so I can't take all the credit," Joe says, taking them back before David can see that he's concealed the name of the show with Post-its. "But for this?" Joe passes over the bag. "This I get the credit for."
"Did you bring me supplies?"
Joe just grins.
"You're the best." David leans up and kisses him, then takes the bag. "How long have I got?"
"Fifteen minutes so that we can have twenty minutes to get to the restaurant."
"Love you," David says, then grabs the bag and hurries to the bathroom. "Entertain Karl!"
"What am I supposed to do, juggle?" Joe calls after David.
"Shadow puppets?" is David's suggestion through the closed door.
"Shadow puppets. Excellent," Joe murmurs, snorting under his breath and going out to find Karl again. "Looks like I managed to work some magic after all."
Karl looks up from the guts of a PC. "Great," he says. "It'll be nice to see him with a smile on his face."
"See... this is why I stick to the insides of animals and not machines," Joe says, looking over Karl's shoulder. "Much less difficult to deal with."
"Did you hear about the giant dead spider that Justin found in someone's computer on Monday?"
"Giant dead spider like... wolf spider, or tarantula?"
Karl looks up and back at him. "Uh... a really big spider about an inch across?"
"Okay. Those are out of my areas of expertise, and ew," Joe says firmly.
"So much ew," Karl agrees. "More ew than I could deal with. So I ran away to get coffee. Spiders are almost as bad as poison ivy," he adds in a mutter.
"Poison ivy? I heard it was only bad if you were allergic to it, and that not everyone is," Joe says, looking thoughtful. "But tell me... what did David and Justin do when they saw the spider?"
"Well, your man shrieked like a girl and hid behind me, and I hid behind Justin, and I think Justin might have been on the verge of tears, then Henry came and saved us all from the dead creepy-crawly."
"Well thank God for Henry. But... aren't you both a lot bigger than Justin? How did you even begin to hide behind him?" Joe asks. "Tell you what--tell David to start bringing Pix more often. She's a spider hunter, that one."
"Pix is the little grey kitten that David's got that picture of on his desk, right?"
"Yes... well, yes and no. She's gone past the kitten stage, but she's definitely still tiny," Joe says. "She's one of the reasons we got together."
"Really? You were brought together by a wee little cat? That's so sweet I think I have a cavity." Karl grins cheekily.
Joe wrinkles his nose, and grins back at Karl. "I know... we do tend to send people into sugar shock."
"It's nice though," Karl admits. "Makes you feel good about life and all that. And you know--" he points, "Dave cleans up pretty nice."
"Stoppit," David says, waving a hand.
"Look at my sexy man," Joe says, a huge grin spreading across his face before he goes over to David and pulls him in for a kiss. "You really do clean up nice," he murmurs.
"Sugar shock," Karl says with a grin.
"Oh, hush you," David says.
"He was telling me horror stories of spiders in computers."
David shudders and holds Joe a little tighter. "It was awful."
"Bring Miss Pix to the shop. She can do a different kind of bug hunt for you guys," Joe suggests.
"I should," David says. "It's about time she met New Guy anyway." He gives Karl a gentle nudge. "You'll be okay closing up? You remember how to print all the reports? And balancing our totals? You've got my cell phone--"
"Oh my god, Joe, get your man out of here," Karl says, getting to his feet and making shooing motions.
Joe laughs and starts dragging David from the room. "Have a good night, Karl. If you need anything? Call Justin. David's taking the night off."
"I will," Karl says. "You two be good."
"We make no promises," David says, taking Joe's hand.
"We never make promises about that," Joe says, waggling his eyebrows obscenely at Karl.
"Good!" Karl calls out as they leave. "Have fun, you two."
God, they're so adorable they give him cavities. Which he realises is a mixed metaphor or something, but he doesn't care.
*
"Okay, so it's either the honey garlic chicken, or the fillet mignon, and I cannot decide." David sighs heavily. Life is difficult.
"You could get both," Joe tempts him. "Have lots of leftovers. Or, if you can't bring yourself to do that, we can get both and I'll split them with you."
"Would you do that? For me, baby? And the Caesar salad?"
Joe laughs and leans forward. "And the Caesar salad. And we're getting dessert too," he warns David. "We don't do this nearly often enough."
"Not at all," David agrees. "We're too busy, sometimes. And that's a shame. I like dating you."
"You know, we barely even dated before we moved in together. Not in the traditional high school dating sense," Joe points out. "We usually ended up at one or the other's house. If it was your place, you cooked for me, if it was my place... either you cooked for me, or we ordered takeout."
"Mostly I cooked for you," David says, grinning. "It's nice to have a night off."
"I really should learn to make a few more things, shouldn't I?" Joe sighs. "It's kind of appalling, me making you my domestic servant." At least in terms of the kitchen. Joe does most of the dishes and clean up, and the 'manly' outdoor chores. Like scooping dog shit and mowing the lawn.
"We'll go back to the spaghetti lessons, gorgeous," David says with a big grin. "And I'll always make sure there's sauce in the freezer, so all you have to do is unthaw and warm the sauce, and cook the noodles, and if we're feeling adventurous? We'll tackle the garlic bread."
"It's cute when you think I'm pretty," Joe says, grinning back at him. "I think we can probably get me to make spaghetti without destroying your kitchen."
"And after spaghetti? We'll try lasagne."
"Okay, now you're just getting way over my head."
David reaches for his hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I have faith in you." And then he pulls his hand away casually as their server approaches to take their order.
Joe smiles warmly at the server, who gives him an even wider smile back--strange, she must want a good tip--then orders the chicken for himself, leaving David to order the steak and Caesar salad.
She gives Joe another last, longing sort of look before she leaves and David shakes his head. "You charmer, you," he says.
"What?" Joe looks over his shoulder, then back to David. "She seemed nice, I guess. Kind of overly friendly, don't you think?"
"Uh huh," David says, grinning behind his wine glass.
"Okay, and now you're laughing at me. That's not nice, you know," Joe protests, reaching for his own wine.
"I'd never laugh at you, sugar pie," David says. And giggles.
"I'd be mildly disturbed if you weren't so cute when you giggle," Joe says.
"Aw, how sweet."
"Cute when you giggle, cute when you shave, cute when you make fun of my chest hair..."
"I have never made fun of your chest hair. That was Max."
He sighs. "Max finds my body hair disturbing. Did you used to spend a lot of time walking around him naked? Because he really makes the distinction between us," Joe says.
"He liked the bathroom when it got all steamed up, so he'd lie there when I showered, and, well, I'd step out, and there's my dog."
"Your dog likes steam baths. He really is a lush, David."
David laughs. "I know. That's why we love him."
"I really do. He's such a pretty boy."
"He's the prettiest boy in ever."
"And doesn't he just know it?" Joe says, then shakes his head and laughs.
"He does, he really, really does."
"No, it's not that... you know the new vet who's working in my practice? The woman with the three kids?"
"Yeah? Ooh, thank you," he says, as the server comes by with their salad.
Joe smiles at her again, looking a little weirded out when she gives him that brilliant smile again. Strange. "Yeah--she says that when she and her husband finally manage to get a sitter and go out for a meal, they spend the whole night talking about the kids. I guess we're not that far removed."
"Oh my God." David laughs. "We're talking about our kids!" He reaches out and squeezes the lemon over their salad.
"We really are. How freakin' domestic and married are we?" Joe says, laughing as well.
David looks across at him, his expression softening. "As close as we can get in this country."
"I could give a damn about the country," Joe says, reaching for David's hand again. "I'm yours, you're mine, to the end of... whatever. Nothing can change that."
"Nothing at all," David agrees, squeezing Joe's hand. There are two young women who have just been seated near them, and they start twittering at each other. David could give a flying fuck.
"Even my grandmother likes you. And she knows that you're English."
David laughs. "I was very pleased to get that particular vote of confidence."
"Definitely. Especially since that great aunt of yours, whatsername, still calls me a--well--I'm not going to say the word in a crowded restaurant." She hadn't taken the notion of her precious David seeing someone of Irish ancestry. The fact that he’s actually American hadn't helped.
"Auntie Louise is insane, Joe. I swear, certifiable. She calls Kate 'Katherine', for God's sake."
"She calls her Katherine and she lives?" Joe's shocked. "So, not so bad that she has never referred to me by name then, huh?"
"Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, Katherine's on Kate's birth certificate and all, but nobody's called her that since she was a few hours old. When Mum and Dad decided on Katherine over Elizabeth, and then she's always been Kate." David shakes his head. "Crazy Auntie Louise."
"And if Kate decides to call me Joseph when she decides I'm in trouble, well, I'm not gonna cross her there. Wow. Crazy Auntie Louise is either really crazy, or totally brave."
"Crazy. She thinks that the government is watching her."
"Maybe they are. She's kind of mean," Joe murmurs, looking conspiratorial.
"Maybe they should. Then they can put her in a nice, padded room." David's eyes go wide. "I--I never said that out loud. Please, don't tell my mum."
"I've seen your mum's face when Crazy Auntie Louise goes off... she might just agree with you."
"I think maybe you're right."
"So we'll ask your mum what she wants for her next birthday--a new crock pot, or Crazy Auntie Louise to be committed."
"She'd probably tell us that we shouldn't tease her."
"You're right," Joe nods. "That would be cruel." Yeah, they're both going to hell.
"You know we're going to hell, right, baby?" David pops a crouton into his mouth.
"You're 'married' to a Catholic. Aren't you already going to hell?" Joe says, stealing one of David's croutons and mirroring the gesture.
"It's entirely possible, but then, you're 'married' to a Protestant, so we'll go together." As well they should. David rubs his foot up the back of Joe's leg.
"Plus you‘re, y'know. Gay. And I'm bisexual, so I don't even think I exist," Joe whispers, then grins. The foot thing is nice.
"Oh my God, you don't exist? What am I going to do?"
"I should be worried... you've got that new hot guy at the shop."
"Don't be worried. He's not you. Well, unless some pretty young thing catches your interest..." David sniffs.
"I'm sorry, but I already have that position filled, thank you."
"I knew it! You're having Justin on the side." Somehow, David manages to keep a straight face.
Joe? Can't. "Justin?" he sputters, then starts laughing. "Oh God, do you know what he'd... no, no, no, no. Poor Justin."
"Poor, poor Justin would run and hide. I think Karl seriously challenges his sexuality."
"Poor Justin indeed," Joe says, still laughing. "What about Karl's sexuality? Figured anything out there?"
"Well, he flirts pretty ridiculously with, um, everything. Including Mars."
"I'm not sure I can approve of that," Joe says, raising an eyebrow. "He flirts? Does he flirt with me?"
"Yes, Joe. He flirts with you, with me, with Justin, with everyone who walks in the front door, with the baristas at the coffee shop, with the cop who came in the other day to ask us if we'd seen the accident out in the parking lot which we did and I swear I almost had a heart attack..."
"Oh, my poor David! About the accident, not having to watch Karl flirt. I'm sure you're fine with that," Joe says. "Are you sure he flirts with me? I've never noticed."
"Joe, you wouldn't notice a flirt if it came up to you, hit you on the head, and sat on your face."
Joe's eyes go wide. "I... oh my god, I really am that clueless, aren't I? I should keep a kitten in my pockets at all time. Pixel was instrumental. Although... no, I don't need to know if people are flirting with me. You'll tell me if I need to know."
"Yes, yes, I will." David rubs his hands together as their meal arrives, and the server lingers. He looks pointedly across the table at Joe.
"What?" Joe says, then looks up at the server and smiles. "Thank you. It looks good. Um... can we help you?" he offers.
"Do you need anything else? More wine? Napkins?" she asks.
David hides a grin behind his wine glass again.
"Uh... no, I think we're good," Joe says, smiling at David. "I'll let you know if we come up with anything."
"All right. Let me know." She backs away slooowly. And then is gone.
David giggles.
Joe looks at her, at David, at her, at David again. Then sighs. "I don't get it," he admits.
"She thinks you're a hottie."
Joe squeaks, eyes going wide. "Nuh!"
"Uh huh!"
"Oh God! Have I been flirting back?" Joe is suddenly worried.
David laughs. "No, gorgeous. Don't worry."
"Thank goodness," Joe sighs. "That would suck. Because I wouldn't be flirting with someone on purpose, obviously. I'm not sure I know how."
"You do just fine flirting with me," David says as reassuringly as he can manage.
"You do remember that it took the dog and cat both to get me to make a move, right?"
"Well, yes, but I mean, since."
"Oh, well... that's good!" Joe looks pleased.
David thinks he's adorable. "You're adorable."
"Does that mean there's a chance I might be able to talk you into making out on the couch when we get home?"
"I think so."
"And if I get us dessert to share?" Joe says, smiling even more adorably.
David grins and leans across the table, crooking his finger at Joe.
Joe leans closer, grinning wider still.
"If you get us dessert to share," David whispers, "I can promise you a blow job."
"Cheesecake or chocolate mousse?"
"Chocolate mousse," David says as he sits back.
"Done," Joe says, sitting back as well, smiling as the server appears again. "Good--I'm glad you're back. When we're done, can we get one order of chocolate mousse, please?"
"Of course," she says, and refills Joe's water glass. She refills David's almost as an afterthought, then lingers again for a moment before she leaves.
"Damn... I forgot to ask for two spoons. I'll remind her when she comes back," Joe decides.
Oh, that'll be entertaining. David sighs and sits back, quite done with the filet mignon. "Okay, gorgeous. Do we still have time before we have to be at the theatre?"
"Definitely. Tonight, we've got time to spare," Joe says, taking one more bite of chicken, then stealing a bit of David's steak.
"Good," David says. "I like lingering. So, hey, what are we going to see?"
"You'll find out when we get there," Joe says mysteriously.
"Tease," David complains.
"You like it when I tease, baby," Joe murmurs, grinning.
David laughs. "Sure do."
The waitress comes by to clear away their plates.
"Oh, miss? When you bring the dessert, we'll need two spoons," Joe says, smiling at her again.
She blinks at him, looks at David, looks at Joe, then smiles. "Of course. And it'll be right out." She scurries away.
"That's better. Eating chocolate mousse with a fork would suck," Joe nods, looking back at David again.
"Uh huh," David says, grinning.
"She didn't stay so long this time," Joe says. "Maybe you were wrong."
"She just realised that I'm your boyfriend."
"Wait... you mean she hadn't figured that out yet?" Joe says, actually surprised. "What do I have to do, take you over the table?"
David gives him an indulgent smile. "I'm not exactly in your league."
"What do you--now you're just being ridiculous," Joe scoffs, leaning across the table and laying a kiss on David, right then and there. Not in his league his ass.
David doesn't pay attention to the stares. Or the comments. He smiles across at Joe. "Love you," he says, softly.
"Love you," Joe murmurs back. "And we're doing this more often... the whole date thing. You deserve it."
"So do you."
"Then it works out well for both of us, don't you think?" Joe smiles, then grins even wider when the chocolate mousse shows up.
And two spoons.
*
"Joe--that was--I mean--oh my GOD!" David's beaming, holding Joe's hand tight as they leave the theatre, walking backwards so he can see him. "Joe, thank you so much."
"I remembered that you wanted to see it, and when the tickets came up... there was no way I wasn't going for it," Joe says, absolutely thrilled that David's so happy. Pretty much his goal in life, that, and if he can accomplish it with dinner out and tickets to Wicked, that’s a small, small price to pay.
David leans over and kisses him, right there in the street in front of God and everybody. "I love you so much."
"Take me home, David," Joe murmurs, feeling drunk off David's energy and excitement. The kiss helps too. "We've still got act three to go, you know."
"Making out? Fantastic."
"Which of course, is just the prelude to act four, which is going to involve you and me and a room with no pets to commentate."
"Even better. I'm getting laid tonight."
"You bet that perfectly heart-shaped ass of yours, baby," Joe purrs. "Come on--lets go find the car before I end up taking you to the nearest motel, which is sure to be completely unsanitary and won't have lube in the nightstand." He pauses. "Not any I want to use, anyway."
"Y'know the spare sweater I keep in the back seat?" David swings their hands between them.
"Uh huh," Joe nods.
"I keep lube in the pocket."
"You are the best boyfriend ever. Ever."
"I know," David says, loftily. "So, y'know, if you ever did want to stop at a motel..."
Joe groans under his breath and leans closer. "Gorgeous, best boyfriend, and kind of evil. If I didn't want you in our own bed tonight...."
David leans over, kisses him fleetingly, then steps away quickly to get into the passenger seat. "Then let's get me in our own bed, yeah?"
"At this rate? You're going to be one tired geek tomorrow morning."
"I think it's worth it."
"I think I can handle the pressure."
[Sometime not so long after Karl gets hired.]
"Joe!" Karl greets Joe enthusiastically when he comes into the geek shop. "How're you doing, mate?"
"I'm good--really good," Joe grins. It had been a good day--nothing catastrophic, for once--and his assistant had shown up with a surprise for him. Which is why Joe's here now. "The boss around, or is he working too hard, as usual?"
"He's working too hard," Karl replies, but he points to the back, where David's office is. "I think he's on the phone, giving a supplier hell. Six hard drives they sent him early last year have failed." He frowns. "Justin said he's never seen Dave so mad."
Joe winces--and not even at the 'Dave'. That's just Karl. "That is bad... he doesn't really get mad. Hopefully I can coax him out of the bad mood though," Joe says, grinning at Karl and showing him the flowers he's been hiding behind his back.
Karl grins back. "Aren't you the most thoughtful boyfriend ever? I can definitely see Dave as a carnation fella, too. They're lovely. You go on through and surprise him. I'm not looking to get any shorter by interrupting him."
"Thanks," Joe says, shifting the bag he's carrying higher up on his shoulder, then walking softly into David's office, hiding the flowers behind him again.
"No, that is not an acceptable option." David isn't shouting into the phone, but he's as close as he'd ever get. "No, six. Of a shipment of ten. Sixty percent isn't the kind of number anyone should be happy with. Yes. Yes, please have Tom call me tomorrow. That's right. And your name was, again? Karen. Thank you, Karen. I'm in the shop ten to six, CST. Thank you." With a heavy sigh, he hangs up the phone and cradles his head in his hands, entirely unaware that Joe's standing in the doorway.
"So... I hear you're having a bad day," Joe says after a few moments, hoping that he won't startle David too badly.
David does start, though only a little. He smiles when he looks up. "Today was poo," he announces solemnly.
Joe offers him the flowers. "Any better now?"
"Carnations," David says, breaking into a bright, crooked smile. "Joe, they're gorgeous." He gets up and takes the flowers, then leans up to give Joe a kiss. "Thank you."
"And I didn't even know that your day was poo," Joe adds, smiling at him and extending the kiss.
"It's like you just know the right thing to do." David wraps his arms around Joe's shoulders and kisses him again. "You're the best, gorgeous."
"Does Karl really call you 'Dave' all the time?" Joe murmurs, right against his lips. "And I haven't even started being the best yet..." he says, trailing off mysteriously.
"Yeah, he does, and what do you mean? The best?" David keeps his arms draped over Joe's shoulders.
Joe reaches his arms around David and tucks something into his back pocket, still looking all mysterious and such.
"You tease," David laughs, reaching back to tug... two theatre tickets out of his pocket. "You spoil the hell out of me, you know that? But, God, look at me, Joe. I'm a mess."
"They're from Ashley, so I can't take all the credit," Joe says, taking them back before David can see that he's concealed the name of the show with Post-its. "But for this?" Joe passes over the bag. "This I get the credit for."
"Did you bring me supplies?"
Joe just grins.
"You're the best." David leans up and kisses him, then takes the bag. "How long have I got?"
"Fifteen minutes so that we can have twenty minutes to get to the restaurant."
"Love you," David says, then grabs the bag and hurries to the bathroom. "Entertain Karl!"
"What am I supposed to do, juggle?" Joe calls after David.
"Shadow puppets?" is David's suggestion through the closed door.
"Shadow puppets. Excellent," Joe murmurs, snorting under his breath and going out to find Karl again. "Looks like I managed to work some magic after all."
Karl looks up from the guts of a PC. "Great," he says. "It'll be nice to see him with a smile on his face."
"See... this is why I stick to the insides of animals and not machines," Joe says, looking over Karl's shoulder. "Much less difficult to deal with."
"Did you hear about the giant dead spider that Justin found in someone's computer on Monday?"
"Giant dead spider like... wolf spider, or tarantula?"
Karl looks up and back at him. "Uh... a really big spider about an inch across?"
"Okay. Those are out of my areas of expertise, and ew," Joe says firmly.
"So much ew," Karl agrees. "More ew than I could deal with. So I ran away to get coffee. Spiders are almost as bad as poison ivy," he adds in a mutter.
"Poison ivy? I heard it was only bad if you were allergic to it, and that not everyone is," Joe says, looking thoughtful. "But tell me... what did David and Justin do when they saw the spider?"
"Well, your man shrieked like a girl and hid behind me, and I hid behind Justin, and I think Justin might have been on the verge of tears, then Henry came and saved us all from the dead creepy-crawly."
"Well thank God for Henry. But... aren't you both a lot bigger than Justin? How did you even begin to hide behind him?" Joe asks. "Tell you what--tell David to start bringing Pix more often. She's a spider hunter, that one."
"Pix is the little grey kitten that David's got that picture of on his desk, right?"
"Yes... well, yes and no. She's gone past the kitten stage, but she's definitely still tiny," Joe says. "She's one of the reasons we got together."
"Really? You were brought together by a wee little cat? That's so sweet I think I have a cavity." Karl grins cheekily.
Joe wrinkles his nose, and grins back at Karl. "I know... we do tend to send people into sugar shock."
"It's nice though," Karl admits. "Makes you feel good about life and all that. And you know--" he points, "Dave cleans up pretty nice."
"Stoppit," David says, waving a hand.
"Look at my sexy man," Joe says, a huge grin spreading across his face before he goes over to David and pulls him in for a kiss. "You really do clean up nice," he murmurs.
"Sugar shock," Karl says with a grin.
"Oh, hush you," David says.
"He was telling me horror stories of spiders in computers."
David shudders and holds Joe a little tighter. "It was awful."
"Bring Miss Pix to the shop. She can do a different kind of bug hunt for you guys," Joe suggests.
"I should," David says. "It's about time she met New Guy anyway." He gives Karl a gentle nudge. "You'll be okay closing up? You remember how to print all the reports? And balancing our totals? You've got my cell phone--"
"Oh my god, Joe, get your man out of here," Karl says, getting to his feet and making shooing motions.
Joe laughs and starts dragging David from the room. "Have a good night, Karl. If you need anything? Call Justin. David's taking the night off."
"I will," Karl says. "You two be good."
"We make no promises," David says, taking Joe's hand.
"We never make promises about that," Joe says, waggling his eyebrows obscenely at Karl.
"Good!" Karl calls out as they leave. "Have fun, you two."
God, they're so adorable they give him cavities. Which he realises is a mixed metaphor or something, but he doesn't care.
"Okay, so it's either the honey garlic chicken, or the fillet mignon, and I cannot decide." David sighs heavily. Life is difficult.
"You could get both," Joe tempts him. "Have lots of leftovers. Or, if you can't bring yourself to do that, we can get both and I'll split them with you."
"Would you do that? For me, baby? And the Caesar salad?"
Joe laughs and leans forward. "And the Caesar salad. And we're getting dessert too," he warns David. "We don't do this nearly often enough."
"Not at all," David agrees. "We're too busy, sometimes. And that's a shame. I like dating you."
"You know, we barely even dated before we moved in together. Not in the traditional high school dating sense," Joe points out. "We usually ended up at one or the other's house. If it was your place, you cooked for me, if it was my place... either you cooked for me, or we ordered takeout."
"Mostly I cooked for you," David says, grinning. "It's nice to have a night off."
"I really should learn to make a few more things, shouldn't I?" Joe sighs. "It's kind of appalling, me making you my domestic servant." At least in terms of the kitchen. Joe does most of the dishes and clean up, and the 'manly' outdoor chores. Like scooping dog shit and mowing the lawn.
"We'll go back to the spaghetti lessons, gorgeous," David says with a big grin. "And I'll always make sure there's sauce in the freezer, so all you have to do is unthaw and warm the sauce, and cook the noodles, and if we're feeling adventurous? We'll tackle the garlic bread."
"It's cute when you think I'm pretty," Joe says, grinning back at him. "I think we can probably get me to make spaghetti without destroying your kitchen."
"And after spaghetti? We'll try lasagne."
"Okay, now you're just getting way over my head."
David reaches for his hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I have faith in you." And then he pulls his hand away casually as their server approaches to take their order.
Joe smiles warmly at the server, who gives him an even wider smile back--strange, she must want a good tip--then orders the chicken for himself, leaving David to order the steak and Caesar salad.
She gives Joe another last, longing sort of look before she leaves and David shakes his head. "You charmer, you," he says.
"What?" Joe looks over his shoulder, then back to David. "She seemed nice, I guess. Kind of overly friendly, don't you think?"
"Uh huh," David says, grinning behind his wine glass.
"Okay, and now you're laughing at me. That's not nice, you know," Joe protests, reaching for his own wine.
"I'd never laugh at you, sugar pie," David says. And giggles.
"I'd be mildly disturbed if you weren't so cute when you giggle," Joe says.
"Aw, how sweet."
"Cute when you giggle, cute when you shave, cute when you make fun of my chest hair..."
"I have never made fun of your chest hair. That was Max."
He sighs. "Max finds my body hair disturbing. Did you used to spend a lot of time walking around him naked? Because he really makes the distinction between us," Joe says.
"He liked the bathroom when it got all steamed up, so he'd lie there when I showered, and, well, I'd step out, and there's my dog."
"Your dog likes steam baths. He really is a lush, David."
David laughs. "I know. That's why we love him."
"I really do. He's such a pretty boy."
"He's the prettiest boy in ever."
"And doesn't he just know it?" Joe says, then shakes his head and laughs.
"He does, he really, really does."
"No, it's not that... you know the new vet who's working in my practice? The woman with the three kids?"
"Yeah? Ooh, thank you," he says, as the server comes by with their salad.
Joe smiles at her again, looking a little weirded out when she gives him that brilliant smile again. Strange. "Yeah--she says that when she and her husband finally manage to get a sitter and go out for a meal, they spend the whole night talking about the kids. I guess we're not that far removed."
"Oh my God." David laughs. "We're talking about our kids!" He reaches out and squeezes the lemon over their salad.
"We really are. How freakin' domestic and married are we?" Joe says, laughing as well.
David looks across at him, his expression softening. "As close as we can get in this country."
"I could give a damn about the country," Joe says, reaching for David's hand again. "I'm yours, you're mine, to the end of... whatever. Nothing can change that."
"Nothing at all," David agrees, squeezing Joe's hand. There are two young women who have just been seated near them, and they start twittering at each other. David could give a flying fuck.
"Even my grandmother likes you. And she knows that you're English."
David laughs. "I was very pleased to get that particular vote of confidence."
"Definitely. Especially since that great aunt of yours, whatsername, still calls me a--well--I'm not going to say the word in a crowded restaurant." She hadn't taken the notion of her precious David seeing someone of Irish ancestry. The fact that he’s actually American hadn't helped.
"Auntie Louise is insane, Joe. I swear, certifiable. She calls Kate 'Katherine', for God's sake."
"She calls her Katherine and she lives?" Joe's shocked. "So, not so bad that she has never referred to me by name then, huh?"
"Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, Katherine's on Kate's birth certificate and all, but nobody's called her that since she was a few hours old. When Mum and Dad decided on Katherine over Elizabeth, and then she's always been Kate." David shakes his head. "Crazy Auntie Louise."
"And if Kate decides to call me Joseph when she decides I'm in trouble, well, I'm not gonna cross her there. Wow. Crazy Auntie Louise is either really crazy, or totally brave."
"Crazy. She thinks that the government is watching her."
"Maybe they are. She's kind of mean," Joe murmurs, looking conspiratorial.
"Maybe they should. Then they can put her in a nice, padded room." David's eyes go wide. "I--I never said that out loud. Please, don't tell my mum."
"I've seen your mum's face when Crazy Auntie Louise goes off... she might just agree with you."
"I think maybe you're right."
"So we'll ask your mum what she wants for her next birthday--a new crock pot, or Crazy Auntie Louise to be committed."
"She'd probably tell us that we shouldn't tease her."
"You're right," Joe nods. "That would be cruel." Yeah, they're both going to hell.
"You know we're going to hell, right, baby?" David pops a crouton into his mouth.
"You're 'married' to a Catholic. Aren't you already going to hell?" Joe says, stealing one of David's croutons and mirroring the gesture.
"It's entirely possible, but then, you're 'married' to a Protestant, so we'll go together." As well they should. David rubs his foot up the back of Joe's leg.
"Plus you‘re, y'know. Gay. And I'm bisexual, so I don't even think I exist," Joe whispers, then grins. The foot thing is nice.
"Oh my God, you don't exist? What am I going to do?"
"I should be worried... you've got that new hot guy at the shop."
"Don't be worried. He's not you. Well, unless some pretty young thing catches your interest..." David sniffs.
"I'm sorry, but I already have that position filled, thank you."
"I knew it! You're having Justin on the side." Somehow, David manages to keep a straight face.
Joe? Can't. "Justin?" he sputters, then starts laughing. "Oh God, do you know what he'd... no, no, no, no. Poor Justin."
"Poor, poor Justin would run and hide. I think Karl seriously challenges his sexuality."
"Poor Justin indeed," Joe says, still laughing. "What about Karl's sexuality? Figured anything out there?"
"Well, he flirts pretty ridiculously with, um, everything. Including Mars."
"I'm not sure I can approve of that," Joe says, raising an eyebrow. "He flirts? Does he flirt with me?"
"Yes, Joe. He flirts with you, with me, with Justin, with everyone who walks in the front door, with the baristas at the coffee shop, with the cop who came in the other day to ask us if we'd seen the accident out in the parking lot which we did and I swear I almost had a heart attack..."
"Oh, my poor David! About the accident, not having to watch Karl flirt. I'm sure you're fine with that," Joe says. "Are you sure he flirts with me? I've never noticed."
"Joe, you wouldn't notice a flirt if it came up to you, hit you on the head, and sat on your face."
Joe's eyes go wide. "I... oh my god, I really am that clueless, aren't I? I should keep a kitten in my pockets at all time. Pixel was instrumental. Although... no, I don't need to know if people are flirting with me. You'll tell me if I need to know."
"Yes, yes, I will." David rubs his hands together as their meal arrives, and the server lingers. He looks pointedly across the table at Joe.
"What?" Joe says, then looks up at the server and smiles. "Thank you. It looks good. Um... can we help you?" he offers.
"Do you need anything else? More wine? Napkins?" she asks.
David hides a grin behind his wine glass again.
"Uh... no, I think we're good," Joe says, smiling at David. "I'll let you know if we come up with anything."
"All right. Let me know." She backs away slooowly. And then is gone.
David giggles.
Joe looks at her, at David, at her, at David again. Then sighs. "I don't get it," he admits.
"She thinks you're a hottie."
Joe squeaks, eyes going wide. "Nuh!"
"Uh huh!"
"Oh God! Have I been flirting back?" Joe is suddenly worried.
David laughs. "No, gorgeous. Don't worry."
"Thank goodness," Joe sighs. "That would suck. Because I wouldn't be flirting with someone on purpose, obviously. I'm not sure I know how."
"You do just fine flirting with me," David says as reassuringly as he can manage.
"You do remember that it took the dog and cat both to get me to make a move, right?"
"Well, yes, but I mean, since."
"Oh, well... that's good!" Joe looks pleased.
David thinks he's adorable. "You're adorable."
"Does that mean there's a chance I might be able to talk you into making out on the couch when we get home?"
"I think so."
"And if I get us dessert to share?" Joe says, smiling even more adorably.
David grins and leans across the table, crooking his finger at Joe.
Joe leans closer, grinning wider still.
"If you get us dessert to share," David whispers, "I can promise you a blow job."
"Cheesecake or chocolate mousse?"
"Chocolate mousse," David says as he sits back.
"Done," Joe says, sitting back as well, smiling as the server appears again. "Good--I'm glad you're back. When we're done, can we get one order of chocolate mousse, please?"
"Of course," she says, and refills Joe's water glass. She refills David's almost as an afterthought, then lingers again for a moment before she leaves.
"Damn... I forgot to ask for two spoons. I'll remind her when she comes back," Joe decides.
Oh, that'll be entertaining. David sighs and sits back, quite done with the filet mignon. "Okay, gorgeous. Do we still have time before we have to be at the theatre?"
"Definitely. Tonight, we've got time to spare," Joe says, taking one more bite of chicken, then stealing a bit of David's steak.
"Good," David says. "I like lingering. So, hey, what are we going to see?"
"You'll find out when we get there," Joe says mysteriously.
"Tease," David complains.
"You like it when I tease, baby," Joe murmurs, grinning.
David laughs. "Sure do."
The waitress comes by to clear away their plates.
"Oh, miss? When you bring the dessert, we'll need two spoons," Joe says, smiling at her again.
She blinks at him, looks at David, looks at Joe, then smiles. "Of course. And it'll be right out." She scurries away.
"That's better. Eating chocolate mousse with a fork would suck," Joe nods, looking back at David again.
"Uh huh," David says, grinning.
"She didn't stay so long this time," Joe says. "Maybe you were wrong."
"She just realised that I'm your boyfriend."
"Wait... you mean she hadn't figured that out yet?" Joe says, actually surprised. "What do I have to do, take you over the table?"
David gives him an indulgent smile. "I'm not exactly in your league."
"What do you--now you're just being ridiculous," Joe scoffs, leaning across the table and laying a kiss on David, right then and there. Not in his league his ass.
David doesn't pay attention to the stares. Or the comments. He smiles across at Joe. "Love you," he says, softly.
"Love you," Joe murmurs back. "And we're doing this more often... the whole date thing. You deserve it."
"So do you."
"Then it works out well for both of us, don't you think?" Joe smiles, then grins even wider when the chocolate mousse shows up.
And two spoons.
"Joe--that was--I mean--oh my GOD!" David's beaming, holding Joe's hand tight as they leave the theatre, walking backwards so he can see him. "Joe, thank you so much."
"I remembered that you wanted to see it, and when the tickets came up... there was no way I wasn't going for it," Joe says, absolutely thrilled that David's so happy. Pretty much his goal in life, that, and if he can accomplish it with dinner out and tickets to Wicked, that’s a small, small price to pay.
David leans over and kisses him, right there in the street in front of God and everybody. "I love you so much."
"Take me home, David," Joe murmurs, feeling drunk off David's energy and excitement. The kiss helps too. "We've still got act three to go, you know."
"Making out? Fantastic."
"Which of course, is just the prelude to act four, which is going to involve you and me and a room with no pets to commentate."
"Even better. I'm getting laid tonight."
"You bet that perfectly heart-shaped ass of yours, baby," Joe purrs. "Come on--lets go find the car before I end up taking you to the nearest motel, which is sure to be completely unsanitary and won't have lube in the nightstand." He pauses. "Not any I want to use, anyway."
"Y'know the spare sweater I keep in the back seat?" David swings their hands between them.
"Uh huh," Joe nods.
"I keep lube in the pocket."
"You are the best boyfriend ever. Ever."
"I know," David says, loftily. "So, y'know, if you ever did want to stop at a motel..."
Joe groans under his breath and leans closer. "Gorgeous, best boyfriend, and kind of evil. If I didn't want you in our own bed tonight...."
David leans over, kisses him fleetingly, then steps away quickly to get into the passenger seat. "Then let's get me in our own bed, yeah?"
"At this rate? You're going to be one tired geek tomorrow morning."
"I think it's worth it."
"I think I can handle the pressure."
