!Joe Flanigan

Joe Flanigan and (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Coping.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 08:09:02 GMT

[Not long after Kate arrives.]

"Joe? Sweetie?" Kate reaches out and strokes his hair. "I made you a sandwich."

David makes great sandwiches. Thick bread, lettuce, tomato, as many vegetables as he can sneak in when Joe's not looking, and it still tastes good. "Thank you," he says quietly. He's not hungry.

Kate sits down and puts the plate on Joe's lap. It's actually only half a sandwich--the other half she's wrapped and put in the fridge for now. "Could you try eating it for me?" she asks.

He looks at the sandwich, then up at Kate. "The police haven't called."

"I know they haven't," she says. "I wish they would."

Joe's afraid to wish for that. He's afraid if he does, the call will come. And it'll be to tell him that David's dead. He picks up the sandwich, brings it to his mouth, then lowers it again without taking a bite. "I'm worried about Mars."

"So am I," she says. "We'll go see him. But you need to eat."

"David takes care of me. And you, and the animals. And the boys at the shop, and the people who come in, and now, when he needs me..." Joe trails off, throat tight.

"I know," she whispers. She wraps her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry," he whispers back when he can speak again. "Katie, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this to you."

"Who else are you going to say it to?" Kate asks. "Justin will come apart again."

"But he's your brother," Joe says, muffled against her shoulder. "It's not fair."

"We both love him, Joe. We both need him."

"I'm so scared," Joe admits, voice very, very quiet. "I can't lose him. I don't know how to be me without him anymore."

"You're not going to lose him," she says, a bit fiercely. "He's going to come home to you."

"That's why I shouldn't say anything," Joe whispers. "Because I'm terrified he won't."

"He will. The universe won't keep you two apart for long."

"I'd do anything to get him back," Joe says, lifting his head, dark circles surrounding his reddened eyes. "You know that, right? Everyone knows that?"

She strokes his cheek. "I know."

"Then why hasn't anyone called to ask me to do that?"

She doesn't have an answer to that. They haven't called because they haven't found David. She hugs him and kisses his cheek. "Please eat, Joe."

"I'll eat. I will," he says, smiling at her. "You should check on Max."

She looks at him. "Max is with Pixel."

"And I can't look at him without seeing that Sheltie guilt-but-I'm-not-guilting-you look in his eyes."

"Me too," she says. "But I'm afraid if I walk away, you'll feed your sandwich to Strider."

A pause. "I'm that obvious?" Joe sighs, and looks over at Strider. "Sorry, buddy. She caught me."

Strider gets up and walks out of the room in a huff.

"You're kind of obvious," Kate says. "I've known you a long time, Joe."

"I know. And I know I shouldn't pick favourites, but you're my favourite common-law sister in law," Joe murmurs.

She grins. "I know."

"I know you know."

"I love you. I'm going to take care of you, because if I don't, my big brother's going to go crazy when he comes home."

"Say that last part again? Please?" Joe murmurs.

"David's going to come home."

Joe hugs her so hard that his own ribs creak.

"He'll come home to us," she says, rubbing his back. "Because we need him."

"We do," he murmurs, throat tight again. "We need him so much. I need him so much."

"And that's why he won't stay away, Joe. He'll find his way back to you."

"We should be doing something... I have to do something," Joe says, sounding plaintive.

"Eat."

"Eat?"

"Please."

There's a few seconds of quiet. "Okay."

She strokes his hair. "You need it."

"I will. I promise. No feeding it to anyone else. I'll eat the sandwich."

She sits back against the corner of the couch, and reaches up to pull Hermione down onto her lap.

This time, Joe doesn't try to mess around or hide it. The bread's a bit more stale then when she brought it out, but he eats it anyway. He barely tastes it, but he eats it.

She smiles as she watches him. "Good," she says. "Now David won't be mad at me."

"We can't have that," Joe says, setting the plate down on the coffee table. "Thank you. For looking after me."

"You're welcome. I think you'll always need a Hewlett around."

"I'm kind of lost without one, yeah," Joe admits, almost smiling.

She rubs a hand down Hermione's back. "Then I'll stay as long as you need me."

"He'll be back soon. They'll find him." Joe only wishes that he actually could believe what he's saying.

*

Joe Flanigan, (NPC) Justin Long, and (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Carrying each other.

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:11:19 GMT

[Takes place after Joe calls Kate to tell her about David's kidnapping.]

The house is quiet. Eerily quiet. Justin's brewed about six pots of coffee now, give or take, and he can't quite stop pacing. He almost drops his mug when he hears a key in the doorway, and races out to the foyer.

Wrong Hewlett.

Well, not wrong. Not wrong at all. Kate drops her bags on the floor and rushes in to hug Justin. "Where is he?" she asks.

"Living room," he says, and watches as she lets him go to go running for Joe.

"Sweetie?" she says, as she comes into the living room, then sits down with Joe and wraps her arms tight around him. "Oh, sweetie."

Joe's barely left the couch all night, except to have to pee out the dozen or so cups of coffee that Justin keeps forcing on him. It's just easier to say yes and take the coffee than to argue. Justin can be very stubborn. He's got black circles under his eyes and his five o'clock shadow has added an extra twelve-plus hours and is now officially past the point of shadow and into stubble. He hugs her back. He can do that. "How was your flight?"

"Felt like it took forever." She touches his cheek. "Oh, you need a shave."

"Probably true," Joe admits. "Did you eat?"

"A little. What about you?"

Joe just nods and stands up, back making like a bowl of cereal as he stretches. "Justin made coffee. He's made a lot," he says, heading for the kitchen.

"That's not eating," she says, very gently, getting up and following him.

Justin tails them, very quietly.

He opens the fridge and grabs a carton of eggs, a red pepper, some onions, and cheese, putting it all on the counter in front of him. It's morning. Morning means breakfast. Cereal and a protein shake isn't breakfast, Joe... you need real food. You work a long day, and you forget lunch. David makes great omelettes. Joe just stares at the carton of eggs, fingers resting against the edge of the counter.

Kate touches his elbow. "Joe? Sweetie? Whatcha doing?"

"I'm not allowed to use the stove when David's not here," he says softly. Almost childlike.

"Oh, honey!" She turns him around and wraps her arms around him. "Joe, Joe. It's okay. I'm here."

And Joe just... crumples. He's been either strong or numb all night, and that stupid carton of eggs just pushes him past the point he can handle. It's simple and domestic and it's his whole life with David wrapped up in a cardboard carton, and he's just done, letting Kate hold onto him as he rests his head on her shoulder and fucking sobs.

"Oh, god." She sniffles, lets out a choked sob, and holds him tight as she starts crying, too. She rubs his back and strokes his hair and wishes there was something she could do. Someone she could run to, to fix everything, to make it all okay.

Justin stands back and watches them, tears springing to his eyes and his throat tight. Why would someone do this? Why would someone want to hurt David and Joe?

This is why he didn't want to cry. Because now he's afraid he's not going to be able to stop. No stoic, brave, stiff upper lip, no two manly tears and then nothing else, not for Joe. He's a mess. Shoulders shaking, sobs wracking his whole body, unapologetic, uncontrolled, his world has been smashed at his feet, lost it.

Justin fidgets. He watches as Max and Strider come into the room, hearing Joe's distress, and they crowd around Joe and Kate, standing there together crying in the kitchen. He's never seen Joe like this, in eight years--Joe's always been the tough one, and David a marshmallow, and that's the way it is. That's the way it's always been. And there's nothing Justin can do. There's nothing left. They took away David, and they broke Joe. They broke Kate, who's crying just as hard, shaking just as much, and there's nothing that Justin can do.

He grabs a Kleenex and blows his nose with roughly the force an elephant would need to use.

The only reason why Joe's able to stop is that he gets to the point where he's just too exhausted to maintain it any longer, sobs tapering off into gasps for air, shaking turning into trembling turning into shivering. There are still tears sliding down his cheeks when he lifts his head off Kate's shoulder and turns away, coughing a few times, then looking back at her, the guilt that's been locked in the pit of his stomach utterly plain in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Katie." He never calls her Katie. Never.

"Don't be sorry, Joe," she says, a little hoarsely, reaching up to brush away his tears. "None of this is your fault and there's nothing to be sorry for. Do--do you want me to make you an omelette?"

He shakes his head. "No... no thanks. I don't think I could eat it," he admits, lip curling up in an almost-smile that's sadder than if he hadn't tried at all. "It's what David would do."

Justin makes a very, very strange noise--something like a cross between stepping on a cat and what a person might sound like if they closed their hand in a car door--then buries his face in his hands. "David loves omelettes!"

Joe looks over at him and reaches for Justin's arm, pulling him closer so that he and Kate can both wrap him up. He's as much family as either of them are... he's known David for longer than Joe has. He knows Justin has to be hurting. "We're getting him back, Justin," Joe murmurs, resting his forehead against Justin's and holding on tightly. "We'll find him."

"Wh-why?" Justin says, brokenly, between gasping attempts to stop crying. "Why would someone do this? He's a geek who likes computers and Doctor Who. They shot your dog and they cracked Karl on the back of the head--they used one of the chia pets, the bastards!"

It doesn't make sense to Joe. He can't come up with a reason, or a rationale, or any logical purpose behind why they'd take David. "They planned it," he says, abruptly. "I don't know why they did it, but they planned it. They had to. You don't take along a tranquilizer gun if you don't know that you're going to have to knock something--someone--out. And the dose was right for Mars. So they knew about Mars. But they didn't shoot Karl. They had to use something that was there in the shop, so they didn't think Karl was there." It makes sense. That part of it makes sense. The why? No sense.

"Joe, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry this happened," Justin says, sniffling. "So... so maybe... maybe this is someone who knows David?"

"It still doesn't make any sense," Joe says, shaking his head and rubbing at his now-sore eyes. "He's the center of my world, my life. But that doesn't explain why someone'd take him."

"It's senseless and stupid," Kate whispers. "But... but they'll find him. They have to find him." That's all there is to it. She starts putting away the food that Joe had pulled from the fridge.

"Yeah, they'll 'get a hold of me' if they have anything new, or think of anything else they can ask me," Joe mutters.

"What else can they do?" Kate asks in a small voice.

"I don't know. I can't decide if that's better than a lie," Joe admits. "I just want to know that everyone's out there looking, that they have leads, that they're doing something. They can't think that he just took off on me. Not with what happened to Mars and Karl. But what if... what if they don't contact me, because I'm 'just' his boyfriend, what if..." he doesn't even know how to voice all the 'what ifs' that are spinning around in his head. He feels powerless. He hates that.

"I'll contact them," Kate says, "when we're both feeling a little better. Just to let them know I'm his sister and that I want to know what they're doing. Just in case they want to be bigoted assholes."

Joe nods, and he looks relieved. Right now, he doesn't give a damn what they think about him and David. Just as long as it doesn't keep them from doing their job, from trying to find him. "Thank you," he murmurs. "I don't know what to do now."

"I think we need a little bit of rest," Kate says. "Because I sure as hell didn't sleep on the plane."

"Yeah... yeah, I think so," Joe agrees, scratching at his stubble. "Justin's not allowed to drive until he's slept and let some of that caffeine leave his body. The guest room's made up, Kate, and Justin, there's blankets on the end of the futon. You know how to set it up, don't you?" he says, heading out of the kitchen and into the living room, back to the couch.

Kate kisses Justin on the cheek. "You go. I'll be okay," she murmurs, then urges him away.

She takes one of the blankets off the loveseat--discovering an orange fluffy cat underneath. "You must be Ron," she says with a little smile, then settles down on her side, pulling the blanket up. She looks at Joe. "I'm not going anywhere, so don't argue," she says.

"You're too big for the loveseat." He's not arguing. He's stating a fact. And he's too big for the couch. But he's not sleeping alone in their bed. Can't. Not without David.

"I'll make do," she says, as the orange cat settles down in the crook of her knees and starts purring like a motorboat.

"They were only a few weeks old when someone dumped them off at the office. I didn't think they'd make it. David was up every night, every couple hours, feeding them with a tiny bottle. He wouldn't let me do it... said I needed the sleep."

Kate looks at Joe again. "What?"

Joe gestures to the fluffy orange cat. "Ron, Harry, and Hermione. They all made it. 'Cause of David."

"He's got a little bit of angel in him," Kate says, very softly. "He's special. He'll come home to you."

What if he doesn't? What if I never see him again? He can't say it out loud. Not to David's sister. Not to anyone. "I just want him home."

"So do I," Kate replies.

"I'd do anything, give anything, for this not to have happened. I wish it was me," he murmurs, closing his eyes.

She gets up off the couch, much to Ron's loud protest, and curls up against Joe's side. "I know," she whispers. "Me too."

He moves his hand to pet at Kate's hair. Crazy curls, all over the place, so different than David. "I want him to walk through the door and start laughing at us both and try and accuse me of putting the moves on his sister, only to crack up part-way through because he knows he's the only one I could ever... Kate, I just want him back."

"I know, sweetie," she says, her voice breaking. "So do I. I just can't understand how anybody could want to hurt him..."

"Shhh..." This is how it's going to work, clearly. One minute she's comforting him, the next minute it's his turn. Minute by minute, and if that's how they have to take this, then that's what they'll do. "He's coming home. He will."

"I know. He won't stay away for long. He knows we need him."

"And the kids need him too. All of them."

"Of course they do. Max is still lying by the door. I think he thinks we're telling tales."

"He's not going to believe it," Joe says softly. "And he won't believe Mars is okay until I bring him home."

"When do you think we'll be able to go get Mars?"

"Later today. He needed to sleep off the tranquilizer and make sure that all his vitals were okay. They would have guessed at his weight. He's just lucky they got close."

"Good... good, I'm glad he's going to be okay." She gives a little oof as Ron jumps up onto her lap, then settles down beside her again, purring loudly. "So we'll... we'll have Justin drive us over to the shop, pick up your cars, get Mars, come home. First steps."

"First steps," Joe echoes. "You'll call the police, we'll check in on Karl, make sure he's all right."

"Right. Karl. New guy, yeah?"

"New guy. Nice guy. Got his head pounded in last night for being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

She sniffles. "God."

"They could have killed him. They could have killed Mars. They didn't. So they can't have wanted to... I believe David's okay." Joe can't say the words that would mean he's not. Can't. Won't.

"I feel like he is," Kate says. "I think... I think maybe I'd know if he wasn't."

Even the thought of that makes Joe feel like he's going to pass out or throw up. "He's okay. I don't know why they took him, but he's okay. And there'll be... they'll ask for ransom, or they'll want something, and we'll get him back."

She's quiet for a long, long moment, perfectly still, as though she's fallen asleep. And then she says, "Oh my god, Joe."

"Hmm?" He wasn't sleeping, just lost in thought. "What? What is it?"

"I think maybe I know what they want."

Joe sits up. "What? What do they want--I'll give them anything if they just let him go."

"They've kidnapped a man who can hack into a bank--or a corporation--or a government--anywhere--with his brain."

He stares at her. "Oh my God." How could he have forgotten that? How could he have never even had it occur to him that someone could want that from him. "But... Kate, no one knows. No one outside of your family, or the people under this roof right this second. No one would tell, no one."

"I know, but... what if someone found out... I don't know how. Somehow. What if they know?"

Joe's not a pale man, but right now, he's white behind his stubble. "Kate, if I don't tell the police, then they think they're just looking for some geek computer store owner who no one has the slightest reason to want to hurt. And if I do tell them... if I tell them, then people will know. It'll be written down, in files, and he'll be in danger." He looks at her, agony in his eyes. "I don't know what to do."

"I don't know," she says, grabbing his hand and holding on tight. "I don't know what to do, or what to tell you, or... but oh my god. What if they want him to do something... terrible?"

Joe's mind is spinning on a thousand possibilities, each one worse than the last. "They... if you're right--if it's right--they won't hurt him. There's no point in hurting him. So he's okay. We know that much. And he's David. He won't... he won't."

"He'd never," she says. "He's only ever helped people."

"He won't," Joe repeats. "I don't know what we should tell the cops. I don't think we should decide yet."

She shakes her head. "We have to keep him safe."

"I know. We will. We have to." Joe takes a deep breath. "Kate, you need to sleep... I need to sleep. Whether we want to or not."

This time she nods. "I know," she says. "I'm afraid to close my eyes."

"Me too," he admits, very softly. He sighs, and stands up, reaching for her hand. "Special circumstances," he decides. "You, me, and as many of the kids who aren't already curled up with Justin, all tucked into the spare room bed. Maybe that'll keep either of us from dreaming."

Ron makes another squawk or protest when Kate gets up, then follows them out though the foyer.

"Maaax," Kate sing-songs, "hey, buddy, let's go upstairs to sleep, okay? Come on, buddy." She bends down to pick him up.

I'm not allowed upstairs.

"I know, bud, but this is a special circumstance. We need you to take care of me and Kate, okay? Strider's looking after Justin, and the trio and Pix are gonna come with us," Joe tells him.

Kate carries Max upstairs as what seems like a herd of cats hurries up the stairs ahead of them.

When's David coming home, Joe? Max's big brown eyes peer at him over Kate's shoulder. He didn't forget about me, did he?

And just when Joe thought there was a limit to the number of times his heart could break. "No, Max," he says gently, moving closer so he can stroke Max's fur. "David could never forget about you. Not ever. You're his Max, and he loves you so, so very much. I don't know when he's gonna be home, buddy. I wish I did. But I know he'll be home as soon as he can. I promise."

Tears spring to Kate's eyes and she sniffles. Max licks her cheek. Don't be sad. I won't be sad if you're not sad.

"He's telling you not to be sad," Joe says softly. "That he won't be sad if you're not sad. That's his offer."

"Oh, Max!" Kate gives the Sheltie a little squeeze. "You're the bravest boy in the world."

I'm trying very hard. I miss David.

"We all miss him," Joe says, stroking his fur. "So we're all gonna curl up here and maybe that'll help just a little bit. Okay?"

Okay, Joe. I'll be brave and I'll help. I promise! I'll help.

"That's cause you're a really, really good boy," Joe tells him. "Right now, you just try and get some rest. And if you can help, I'll let you know. Okay? I promise."

Okay. Max curls up in the middle of the bed and waits for Kate and Joe to join him. He licks Joe's face a couple times. He'll take care of everybody.

Joe Flanigan, (NPC) Justin Long, and (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Telling the family.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:25:57 GMT

[Takes place the same night that David goes missing.]

It feels like years and years later when Justin finally gets Joe home. He'll stay the night; he'll stay as long as necessary, before going to get Joe and David's vehicles from the shop and bringing them home. He's called Henry and Lee; Justin's made the executive decision that for the time being, the store'll remain closed. Especially since the cops'll probably be there for a while.

"Here we are, Joe," Justin says, gently, setting Joe down on the couch. "Safe and sound."

Pixel gets up from the back of the couch and bounds down onto Joe's lap. Hello. Pet me, please. Where's David?

Joe lets Justin manhandle him over to the couch and starts petting Pixel absently as soon as she's on his lap. Because it's what you do. He just... doesn't do anything else. Doesn't answer her.

Pixel rubs her head against Joe's chest. Where's David? Shouldn't he be home?

"Hey, Joe?" Justin says, tentatively. "You should probably call David's family."

Joe closes his eyes. Kate. He has to call Kate. And he doesn't know what to tell her. "I know," he says, his voice rough. "I... yeah, I know. I don't know where I put the phone." He keeps petting Pixel.

"I'll find it," Justin promises, as he pulls out his trusty iPhone and brings up the Hewlett-Flanigan landline. He can hear an extension ringing in the office; he goes to fetch it, shoos Strider out, and closes the door behind him. "Here, man. Here you go." Justin sits down next to Joe. He finds Kate's number in his phone, dials it on Joe's phone, and hands the receiver over.

Joe takes the receiver and sits there listening to the phone ring, barely feeling Pixel's fur beneath his hand. He doesn't know what he's going to say. What he's going to tell her.

"How's my favourite brother?" comes Kate's voice over the phone a few moments later.

And that's when Joe feels his heart start to break. "Kate, it's me."

"Joe!" Kate sounds happy to hear from him. "My other favourite brother."

He tries to smile, and he can't. He doesn't know how to do this. He almost hands the phone over to Justin, but he can't do that either. This is his responsibility. His job. David's gone, and Joe didn't keep him safe. And whether it's logical or not, he's blaming himself right now so much that he feels like he's going to drown in his own guilt. "Kate... there's..." he starts, and stops, and doesn't know where to start again.

"Joe?" Kate's starting to sound a little nervous on the other end of the phone. "Joe, sweetie, is something wrong?"

Joe nods. It's stupid--she can't see him through the phone--but he nods. "Someone took David."

He can hear her gasp, and then she doesn't say anything for a long moment. When she does speak again, her voice is very tight: "This isn't funny, Joseph."

"I know," Joe whispers. His hand is holding on to the phone so tightly he thinks he might break it.

She's quiet again for a moment. And then she says, "Joe, are you by yourself?"

"Justin's here. Justin... Justin called me."

"Oh my god. Good. No. It's good, that he's there--he's--he'll take care of you, right? And the babies? Because I--I need to call Mum and Dad. And... and I'm going to come. I promise. I'm going to be on the next flight." She can be heard, vaguely, moving around her apartment, stumbling over a pouffy footstool, so she can get to her computer and turn it on and start looking at West Jet and Air Canada's websites.

"Kate, you don't have..." Joe starts to tell her that she doesn't need to come, but he stops himself. He can't do it. Can't pretend he doesn't need her here. "Please come. I need you here," he says, rubbing at his eyes.

"I'll be there soon, Joe. Don't you worry. I'll be there before you know it. And don't you worry about me getting to your place. I'll take a cab. Okay? Don't argue."

"I know better than to argue with Hewlett women," Joe murmurs. It'd be funny, any other day. "Kate, I don't know what to tell your parents. The cops don't know anything, not really. They said they'd 'get a hold of me if they knew anything'." Joe still really, really hates that phrase.

She lets out a shuddery sort of sigh. "I'll call Mum and Dad. You just... take care of you. And all the babies."

"Mars is at the clinic still. I couldn't bring him home yet. They got him with a tranquilizer dart."

"Oh my god. Is he--is he going to be okay?"

"Yeah... yeah, he'll be fine, he's just... I don't know what to tell him," Joe says, his voice getting even quieter.

"Be honest with the kids, Joe," Kate says, gently, as she pulls her credit card out of her wallet. "I'm going to be on a plane really soon. I'll arrive at O'Hare at six a.m. Have you changed your locks? I still have my key, I'll let myself in and be quiet as a mouse, I promise."

"Your key'll work," Joe says. Like he'll be asleep. "I'm glad you're coming."

"Me too, sweetie. Make sure Justin takes very good care of you and the babies."

"He will." Joe swallows hard, not sure what else to say. "See you soon."

"Love you," she whispers.

"Love you too." Joe holds onto the phone for a few moments, then ends the call and lets it slip out of his hands. "Kate's coming," he says, unnecessarily. Justin's right there.

Justin takes the phone and puts it on the coffee table. "Good," he says. "That's good."

Max has wandered into the living room. He sits on the floor by Justin's feet, his tail wagging back and forth across the carpet.

Something's wrong. Pixel tries to climb up Joe's chest. What's wrong? Joe? What's wrong?

Joe eases her off his chest and back onto his lap, and scritches at her ears. "Guys... something happened at the shop tonight. And we don't know why, and we're not sure what exactly, but we can't find David. They're looking for him, but they don't know where he is."

Max whines. I don't understand.

"I know, Max... I don't understand either. It seems that someone came and took David away, and now we have to find him. But he's not here right now. I don't know where he is." Joe's voice is calm and soothing, but his heart is cracking into a thousand pieces.

Pixel climbs up Joe's chest again. Where's Mars?

Justin wishes there was something he could do. He feels kind of broken and lost and scared.

"Someone gave Mars something that made him fall asleep," Joe explains. "He's gonna be just fine, but he's at my office right now, just for the night. Just to make sure."

Max whines again and makes himself very, very small on the floor. David's not coming home?

"Not yet, buddy," Joe says, clearing his throat so he can keep speaking clearly. "It might take a little while. But he'll come home. He's going to come home, I promise." God help him if he's wrong.

Joe Flanigan, (NPC) Justin Long, Karl Urban, with Orlando Bloom. Gone.

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:10:39 GMT

[Takes place a few hours after Karl calls Orlando from work and cancels their plans, which happens a few hours after Justin's trip to Aesthetica.]

One Miss Christina Hendricks was a whole lot of woman. Justin's still a little shell shocked when he pulls into the strip mall's parking lot from the still-busy main road. A whole lot of woman, with a very fucked up PC and an equally fucked up laptop.

He'd spent the entire day trapped in various circles of hell.

He wonders, for a moment, if he's completely lost his mind to go check on the shop--but he has to check on Karl and David.

Justin's stomach drops down to his feet when he sees the emergency vehicles.

He leaves his coupe haphazardly parked in front of the bookshop, then gets out of his car. Monique, one of the girls from the bookshop, calls his name, but he ignores her. Yeah, those emergency vehicles are in front of his store. His store!

"Oh my god," he cries, "oh my god, what's going on? I work here--someone tell me what's going on!"

He sees Karl sitting on the curb with a paramedic holding something to the back of his head, and drops down into a crouch in front of them. "Jesus," he whispers. "Karl?"

"I'll be okay," Karl says. "They don't think I have a concussion."

"Concussion?" Justin whispers in horror.

"I got cracked on the head," Karl explains.

"Jesus," Justin repeats. "What's going on?"

"We're still trying to figure that out, sir," says the paramedic. "One of the girls from next door called us. We just got your co-worker awake."

"One of the girls...?" Justin gets up and starts yelling for Monique.

She comes right over, arms wrapped around herself, trying to keep warm, since her jacket's doing a shitty job.

"Monique, what happened?" Justin asks, trying really, really hard not to just freaking panic.

"I don't know," she says, shaking her head, arms wrapping tighter. "Our cash register was borked again, and I came over to see if someone could fix it, since you guys were still open. I opened the door, and there were things knocked all over, and Karl was on the floor, bleeding. Mars won't come out from under the desk--he's still in there. He wouldn't even look at me."

"Mars? Oh my god, Mars. Where's David?" Justin asks, looking around frantically.

Monique opens her mouth, then closes it again. Somehow, even though Mars was there, and David wasn't, Karl's bleeding head wound had shocked her out of realising just how strange that was. "I don't know," she murmurs. "He wasn't there."

And Justin leaves her standing where she is, taking off at a dead run past paramedics and cops and into the office, shouting David's name. He's not here. He's not fucking here. A cop has to wrestle him back outside, despite his protestations about the dog, but crime scene, crime scene, crime scene...

Crime scene.

He pulls out his phone. He has to call Joe.

Joe answers the phone on the first ring. "Justin, tell me that you're going to go rescue Karl, because they've stopped answering the phone, and I'm sure David's half-way to a nervous inventory induced break down by now, and that's just not something that's fair to inflict on the new guy."

"David's gone."

"I don't... what do you mean, gone? Gone for coffee?"

"Joe, you've got to get here. Now. They won't let me in to see Mars."

"What's wrong with Mars? What's going on, Justin, you're not... what do you mean, gone?" Joe feels his stomach starting to turn rock-solid with dread, and he doesn't even know why. But he's never heard Justin like this before.

"Karl's bleeding, and there's something wrong with Mars, and David's not here." Justin's just about ready to cry. He leans against the front of someone's land rover, glad it doesn't have an alarm. His legs feel like rubber.

There's a long, long silence from Joe's end of the phone. "David's not there?" he says finally, very softly. He hasn't realized that he's reached out with one hand and is gripping the counter so tightly his nailbeds have gone white.

"I don't know where he is, and they won't let me into the shop."

He's got too many questions, and can't figure out how to ask them. "I'm coming. Now." Joe hangs up the phone, and heads for his truck. Later on, he'll be surprised he even remembered to close the door.

Justin waits for him. He leans against the wall next to the shop, and waits, his phone held loosely in his hand.

Joe will fix everything. He always does.

Joe's not sure how long it took for him to get from home to the shop, but he didn't spend a lot of the drive worrying about things like traffic safety or speed limits on the way. He leaves his truck abandoned at the nearest place he can park it, and strides toward the shop, long legs carrying him there damned fast. "I need someone to tell me what's going on," he says, in his best 'I am a doctor, and you will pay attention to me god damn it' voice. Right now, it doesn't really matter that he's a doctor of veterinary medicine.

"That's Joe," Justin says, his voice a little flat, to one of the cops. "He's Hewlett's partner."

She doesn't look overly impressed by this, but she turns and approaches Joe. "Mr Flanigan? Detective Sheridan." She holds out her hand.

Joe gives her hand a fast shake, then steps back again. "I need to know what's going on. Where's David? What happened to Karl? And where the hell is my dog?"

"Someone assaulted Mr Urban. Nothing was taken from inside the shop, though it looks like whoever came inside wanted us to think it was a robbery. The dog is still under one of the desks inside. He won't come out. And Mr Hewlett is missing. His car keys are still inside," Detective Sheridan explains. "If the dog is yours, I'll take you to him." She takes his arm.

"Justin... just stay with Karl, okay?" Joe says softly. "I have to get Mars. I'll be right back." He turns back to the detective. "Yes, he's my dog. Please," he says.

"This way, please, Mr Flanigan," says Detective Sheridan, a little more gently. She leads Joe into the very messy shop.

Joe pauses when they go inside, needing a deep breath before he can continue. He can see blood on the floor, and some kind of marker next to it. And he can't see Mars at all. "Mars? Buddy, it's Joe... can you come out now? I'm here... it's okay, I'm here."

Joe? I'm sleepy.

"Can you hear me, bud? Just let me know where you are so I can find you," Joe says, moving away from the detective (and trying not to step on any of the mess).

Under David's desk.

Joe moves around and crouches behind David's desk, giving Mars a little smile. "Hey there, bud... how about you come out now, huh?"

I'm sleepy.

Joe frowns, then looks up at the detective. "I'm sorry--he's not coming out... he looks really out of it. I ... am I going to mess anything up if I get down closer? He's not acting like himself."

"It should be fine, Mr Flanigan," she replies. "He's your pet, after all, and you should probably take him home."

Joe picks up Mars's leash off David's desk, and crouches down. "Hey, Mars... c'mon out now, okay? Let me check you out, then you can sleep."

Mars struggles to get up. He stumbles a little, manages to make it to Joe, and then his legs give out. I'm sleepy.

He swears under his breath, and strokes Mars' head, murmuring softly to him. "I'm right here... just hold still, okay?" he says, skimming his hands over Mars' body, then swearing again when he finds it. A small dart, buried in Mars' skin. He tugs it out, and holds it out to the detective. "They tranquilized my dog," he says softly. Which means whoever did this planned it. Which means... Oh God, David, where are you?

"Mr Flanigan, let's get your dog outside. I'm going to have to ask you some questions while my people continue to look over the store," says Detective Sheridan, very gently.

Joe keeps stroking Mars's fur, then carefully lifts him up into his arms. Not the easiest thing to do, but Joe's too numb to even feel the strain from picking him up. He carries Mars out of the store, letting the detective open the door in front of him, carrying him over to the truck. "Keys are in my jacket pocket... can you get the tailgate down?" He doesn't really give a fuck if that's part of her job description or not.

"Certainly, Mr Flanigan," she says. She gets the tailgate down for him, and watches him gently put the big dog into the back of the truck. "And now here comes the rotten part of my job. Was there anyone who might want to hurt your... partner?"

He scrubs at his hair and takes a seat on the edge of the tailgate, stroking Mars's fur, then changes his mind and gets up, taking a few steps away, but staying in Mars' eyeline. He doesn't need to hear any of this... even though Joe thinks he's too drugged to really get it. "He's a computer expert," Joe says softly. "He fixes computers, and lets old ladies pay him with cookies. If this wasn't a robbery, I don't know what's going on."

The detective sighs, then hands Joe a card. "I need you to give us your information, and we'll get a hold of you," she says. "And if anything comes to mind--anything at all--you give me a call, all right?"

"You'll get a hold of me?" Joe repeats, taking the card from the detective and looking back at her in numb disbelief. "My partner is missing, they took out my dog with a tranq dart, his employee's been bashed in the head, and you'll get a hold of me?" Swear to God, he's fighting between laughing, crying, and hitting the nice police detective in the face right now, because that's probably the stupidest phrase he's ever heard in his entire life.

"Mr Flanigan, there's nothing you can do to help us," she says. "You'll speak to Officer Grunberg, answer his questions, and go home."

Nothing you can do to help us. Well, Joe's quickly learning his place in all this. "And what about me? What about David? What are you doing to help him?"

"That's why you, Mr Urban, and Mr Long need to answer our questions," she says, as patiently as she can. "We're going to look over the shop. You need to cooperate."

Joe doesn't think he likes her very much. And he also thinks that if she can help get David back? He's going to play along, no matter what. "I'll cooperate. Please, just find him," he murmurs.

"We intend to, Mr Flanigan. If you'll excuse me."

As she steps away, Justin hurries over to Joe. "Oh my god," he says, in a small voice, then launches himself at the much-taller Joe and hugs him tight.

Joe staggers. Usually, Justin can hit him like that, and he doesn't so much as flinch. "We have to talk to the detective, Justin... is Karl all right?" he asks, holding on to him. "How about you... are you okay?"

"I'm just scared," Justin says. "And Karl's going to be fine. He doesn't have a concussion, doesn't need stitches... oh my god. Why would someone kidnap a forty-year-old computer geek?"

"I don't know," Joe says, shaking his head. "Justin, I need you to get my vet bag from the cab. I need to do a blood test for Mars, make sure he's all right, and I don't want to wait any longer. I'll call one of the other vets to pick it up. I also need to ask Mars a few questions, so I need you to tell me if anyone's coming over here who shouldn't be listening. Can you do that?"

Justin nods. "Yeah. I can do that, Joe." For a moment, he sounds very much like Max, and he grabs the vet bag and brings it back to Joe.

"Thank you," Joe murmurs, taking the bag and finding a syringe inside, going over to Mars. "Call the clinic, tell them what's going on and ask them to send someone over to come get Mars and the sample, and keep an eye out," he says, handing over his phone. That done, he goes to Mars and smiles at him. "Hey, sleepy... I'm gonna just do a test. It won't hurt more than a little pinch, I promise. Can you answer a few questions for me, then I'm gonna send you with a friend of mine so you can get some sleep?"

Can't sleep now?

"Really, really soon." Joe takes the blood test, and Mars barely moves. "Do you remember what happened? Before you got all sleepy?"

Some men came in. Mars's eyes start to close again.

"Some men came in... good, buddy. Do you remember what else happened?" Joe keeps petting him, his touch firmer than he'd usually make it, trying to keep Mars awake.

There was loud talking. David was scared.

"Do you remember how many men were there? Did Karl see the men?" Joe asks, trying not to let his hand shake.

Don't know. Didn't see Karl. Think I heard him fall, though. Mars licks carefully at Joe's hand. David was scared. I could smell him. I got up, Joe. I growled. I was a good boy. And then I got all sleepy.

"You are a good boy... I'm very proud of you," Joe murmurs softly. "Can you think of anything else? Tell me anything about the men?"

They were big. Like Karl.

"You're my good boy, Mars. I'm really proud of you. How about you sleep now, okay? One of my friends from the clinic, they're gonna come get you, just to make sure you're okay. And I"ll be there soon. I promise. I promise you that, okay?"

Okay, Joe. Mars closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Justin whispers.

Joe's still holding on to the blood sample. "I think so... I... they drugged him. There was a dart. But I need to know what the strength was, and what they used, and I don't know. And I can't leave, because I have to talk to some officer... something. Groundhog, I think."

"Grunberg," Justin says, pointing. "That guy there."

He sighs. "Right. Can you stay with Mars? Until the other vet gets here? They're coming, right?" he says, handing over the blood sample.

"They're coming." Justin nods and takes the blood sample. "But I'll stay with you. As long as you need me to."

"Thanks, Justin," Joe murmurs. "Mars remembers seeing a few guys... he's not sure how many. Big guys, like Karl. He says David was scared." Joe's almost eerily calm as he explains to Justin, feeling like the words are coming from somewhere else, not from him. "They had to know Mars was going to be there. Why else would they have a tranq gun?" And how does he explain any of this to the cop, without explaining how he knows?

"Does the detective know? Did you find like... oh my god, a tranq dart?" Justin reaches out and gently rubs one of Mars's ears. "Poor little dude..."

Joe nods. "I gave it to the detective. He'll get better now that it's out." Joe hopes. "Will you stay with him? I need to talk to the police... I need to get it over with."

Justin nods. "Yeah. I'll stay right here," he promises.

He gives Justin's shoulder a squeeze, then heads over to the cop... not groundhog. Grunberg. "The detective said I'd need to answer questions."

Justin watches him go, worried and anxious and kind of sick. He keeps rubbing Mars's ear, waiting for the other vet to show up, watching the officer asking questions, taking down notes. Karl's still sitting on the curb. He'd have to get Karl home. Was Joe safe to drive? Well, if Mars was going with the vet, both guys could get in Justin's car... he could drive them both home... maybe he could take Karl to Orlando's?

Orlando.

Still watching Joe, Justin pulls his phone out again. There's a reason he's so anal about getting emergency contact info from everybody he knows.

Orlando hits mute on the television--not that he's been paying that much attention--and lazily reaches out for the phone. "H'lo?"

"Orlando? It's Justin--god, did I wake you, I'm sorry if I woke you, it's just--we need some help--and ohmygod." Yeah, now is the perfect time to just start having a massive fit.

"Justin?" Orlando sits up, confused. "Slow down--just slow down, okay? What's wrong? Is Karl all right?"

"I got here after it happened--I'm sorry to bother you--somebody--some people--" Justin stops, takes a deep breath. "Someone hurt Karl and kidnapped David. And tranqed one of David and Joe's dogs."

"What?" None of this makes the slightest bit of sense. It sounds like some kind of action movie, or something ridiculous... this doesn't happen in real life. "Where are they? Where's Karl?" He's already up and looking for his keys, trying to find his shoes, and where the hell is his jacket? Who puts a jacket in the closet?

"Karl's here," Justin says. "At the shop. Well, outside the shop. He's gonna be okay, but, oh my god, someone hit him in the head. Can you come get him and stay with him tonight? Make sure he's really okay? I've got to take care of Joe."

"I don't have a car--I'll get a cab, and I'll be there as soon as I can," Orlando promises, struggling into his coat and locking his door behind him, heading out of his apartment. "You're sure he's going to be all right?"

"The paramedics say he'll be fine. Probably just have a headache for a while, but no concussion. Can you drive his Jeep? It's still here."

"It's been awhile, but I can drive," Orlando says. And hopefully manage to stay on the wrong side of the road without crashing.

"Good. Um, I won't keep you on the phone. But I'm sure we'll still be here when you get here."

"There's a cab stand just down from my place--I won't be long," Orlando promises, then disconnects the call. And runs.

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. The Ex revisited.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:59:07 GMT

[Takes place sometime after David tells Joe about his ex contacting him on facebook.]

David closes up the dishwasher, stretches, then walks over to Joe. "Upstairs now?" he asks.

"Have you ever in your life had to ask twice?" Joe says, folding the dish towel he's been using for the too-big-for-the-dishwasher stuff, and hanging it over the front of the oven.

"Yes, but you were on the phone," David says, a little cheekily. He takes Joe's hand and leads him through the house, flicking off lights along the way.

"Well... it didn't really count then, did it? And it was your sister," he reminds David. "She was trying to make sure that she wasn't getting you a DVD you already had for your birthday."

"I know, so it was also sweet." David squeezes Joe's hand as they head upstairs.

"And I get to keep my cred as being the guy who's always quite happy to follow his sexy boyfriend upstairs."

David laughs. "I'm not sexy," he says.

"Says you. In this case though, I'm the right one," Joe tells him.

David grins. "I know, honey." He tugs Joe into the bedroom, gives him a quick kiss, then heads off to brush his teeth. "I was thinking," he says.

"We're not watching every Doctor Who back to back again so you can confirm which doctor is your favourite. That's a summer activity."

"I wasn't thinking about that."

"Oh, then go ahead," Joe says, following David and finding his own toothbrush.

"Well, Peter e-mailed me again."

"Peter the ex Peter, right?"

"That's the one."

Joe nods, starting to brush his teeth. "Still wants to go for dinner?"

"Yeah, he does."

"Is it a bad thing? I mean, if he's being pushy, then just banninate? Banninate him," Joe says. "If not, why not?" he says, going back to the toothbrushing.

Banninate. Oh, his man is too cute. "It's just dinner," David says, "right? I haven't seen him in forever and a day..."

Joe spits out some toothpaste, and goes back to it. "Exactly. And I mean, what--you're gonna leave all this for some lawyer?" he says, gesturing at himself, grubby t-shirt, cat-hair covered sweats, toothpaste mouth and all.

"Good god, no."

A wide, toothpaste grin from Joe, and he spits again, then rinses off his brush and puts it away. "So why not? Maybe you'll get a friend out of it, and if not, well, you saw him, and realized that you're just as happy having him not in your life. Either way... it's not that bad, right?"

"No matter what Karl and Justin think, it can't be that bad." David rinses his own brush, then reaches out and rubs his hand over the back of Joe's neck.

"Those two can be a little bit dramatic at times," Joe says. "And Justin's very protective of you."

"He is," David agrees. "It's adorable." He steps up closer to Joe, his hand moving to his cheek, and he leans up to kiss him. "The kids are all asleep," he murmurs.

"That's true. Quiet house. Bedroom with a closed door," Joe murmurs back.

"Uh huh." David wraps his arms around Joe's neck. "And neither of us have to be anywhere for hours."

"Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

"Naked Twister. In bed."

"One of these days I'm gonna get you the sheets, and you'll actually have to play it for real, you know," Joe threatens.

"You love me. You wouldn't do that to me. I'm not flexible." David takes his hands and leads him off to the bed.

"No... I probably wouldn't. Can I buy them for Justin for his birthday?"

"You'd traumatise him!" David laughs and tugs Joe's shirt off.

"I like traumatising Justin! It makes up in some way for all the times Kate's traumatised me!" Joe laughs.

"You wicked thing." David drags him down for a long, long kiss.

"Mmm... that's me," Joe murmurs, kissing David again. "Wicked... sorry, what were we talking about again?" David's shirt is in the way too. He can do something about that.

"Naked twister," David replies, running his hand down Joe's back. "We like that."

"Naked... big fan," he murmurs, brushing his lips against David's collarbone

"Me too." David closes his eyes a moment, then reaches down to push Joe's pants down. "A lot."

Joe keeps wriggling once David gets his pants partway down, determined to get them the rest of the way off. Then David's pants off. Then... oh, and then. Then good things can happen. He gives his leg a good kick, and his pants fly off and land a few feet away. "Ohgod that's better."

"You're always so eager to get your pants off," David teases.

"When my pants come off, good things happen," Joe explains. "Things that involve that gorgeous ass of yours, and all sorts of other things."

David turns a bit pink. "It's not gorgeous," he says. He starts to pull off the rest of his own clothes, then climbs onto the bed. "Now c'mere."

Joe follows after him, grinning the whole time, straddling David's waist, then sprawling out against him. "Oh, it really is gorgeous," he murmurs, kissing David. "Sexy. Amazing. God, I want you. I always want you."

"Want you, too," David murmurs, drawing Joe as close as he can. "All the time. It's like I'm a teenager."

"Well, according to Max, we're terribly disruptive and loud," Joe smiles, dragging his fingers down along David's side. "You're louder than I am, but still."

David laughs. "I'm always louder than you." He shivers a little as he runs his own fingers through Joe's hair. "No matter what's going on."

"He reminded me that he's not a puppy and he Knows What's Going On, Joe," he says, laughing against David's lips, kissing him again. "Poor thing's gonna be burying his head in the couch cushions soon."

"Oh, lord." David shakes his head. "Poor thing indeed."

"Mmm... I feel really, really badly for him," Joe murmurs, kissing his way down David's chest.

David groans softly as he closes his eyes. His hand moves over Joe's shoulder and back, as far as he can reach. "Oh, me too. Really."

"So you've decided you're going to dinner, and it's all settled, and we don't have to talk about that any more, right?" Joe says, still brushing his lips over David's skin, still making his way lower.

David's hips twitch a little. "No talking," he agrees. "Absolutely no more talking about it."

"'Cause I can think of a lot more interesting things to do right now," Joe murmurs, teeth barely grazing against David's hip.

"Yeah?" David lifts up on his elbows so he can watch Joe. "Like what?" he asks, already a little breathless.

Joe doesn't have to answer. Not when his mouth is lowering down over David's cock and he's moaning all the way from his toes.

"Oh, my god." So much for watching. David collapses onto the bed, his fingers tangled in Joe's hair. Joe's mouth is sin.

He could do this every day, every damned day of his life, and it'd still feel like he didn't get to do it enough. Joe groans as soon as he feels David's fingers in his hair, taking him deeper.

"Ohmygod." David arches up off the bed, just a little, then settles again with a moan. "You're so good to me," he whispers, roughly.

Joe murmurs around him, then draws his head back up with an obscenely loud slurping noise. "What makes you think I'm not being good to me, baby?" he murmurs, licking at the head of his cock. "Lube, please," he adds, going back to sucking David's cock again.

Lube, please. As if David's going to be able to move. He groans, gropes around under a pillow, then reaches down--with a slightly shaky hand--and hands the lube over to Joe. "Oh god."

He moans around David's cock in appreciation and takes the lube, slicking his fingers and pushing two inside, right about the same time he takes his cock as deep as he can and swallows around him.

David whispers something, entirely incoherent, possibly not even actual, proper words. Just noise, appreciation, encouragement--don't stop, don't ever stop, don't even think about it. "Joe..."

Joe eases off, pulling back up, just licking and nuzzling gently, letting David breathe, just a little bit. "Tell me how you wanna come, David... just tell me what you want, anything," he murmurs, a hint of stubble brushing against David's stomach as he rubs his cheek against his skin.

"Want you," David murmurs, rubbing his fingers gently down Joe's cheek. "Inside me. Please, Joe."

"God, yes," Joe breathes, kissing David's stomach, then drawing his fingers away as he moves up between his legs. He keeps his eyes on David's face the whole time, inhaling sharply as he starts pushing inside, then forgetting to breathe until he's buried deep in David's body.

David's hand is still touching Joe's face. He brushes his thumb over Joe's lips as he lets out a sigh. "Love you so much."

"I love you... God, I love you, David," Joe whispers, trembling a little from staying still, then starting to move. Slow, easy, gentle... just needing that bit of motion. They've got all the time in the world. The rest of their lives.

David pulls him down, closer, kisses him gently again and again as he starts to move against him. Perfect and slow and lazy--his whole world, right here. He didn't need anything else.

Time spins out and becomes meaningless. It always does. Who cares about time when you've got nowhere else in the world you'd rather be? Joe can feel his head getting a little bit fuzzy as the kisses get longer and longer... there's some weird back-of-the-head thought about pairs skating... or is it ice dancing? How they can't be separated for more than three seconds at a time, or they're breaking the rules. He feels like that now. If he's not kissing David at least every three seconds, he's doing something wrong.

Joe is oxygen, and water, and food, and sunlight, and everything. Everything boiled down to one man, to one kiss, to one touch, to one play and push and pull of bodies moving in tandem. And David's lost in him, absolutely lost, again and again. He moans into Joe's mouth as his hand slips down, as he touches himself, bringing himself closer and closer to that inevitable moment when it all has to end.

David pulls him down, closer, kisses him gently again and again as he starts to move against him. Perfect and slow and lazy--his whole world, right here. He didn't need anything else.

It's automatic, instinctual. Joe's hand slides down between them and wraps around David's cock as soon as he feels David's hand go there. He links their fingers, matches David's pace, murmuring everything and nothing against David's lips.

"God yes." The sound is barely audible, spoken against Joe's mouth, and David starts to move faster. Just a little, just a little bit more. He's not in any rush, but that slow build can't be denied. That burning, that sweetness, deep, deep inside is too much to fight.

"David... David, David," Joe murmurs, repeating his name again and again, between kissing, barely gasping it out. He's so close, and not quite, and then he's just there, and he couldn't hold back if he wanted to. One soft cry into David's mouth and he's coming inside him, hand still moving with David's.

A shiver walks its way up David's spine. His eyes slip closed, his fingers move into Joe's hair, and he holds him tight as he keeps moving, needing that little bit more. Just a bit more friction, a bit more movement, and he comes, too, with a cry that at any other time would be loud and embarrassing, but at just this moment, it's nothing but pure joy.

Joe shudders in echo when he feels David come, gasping as he cries out. It's perfect. David's perfect. His whole life is perfect, and his whole life is right here, in his arms.

It's another few moments before David's heart stops trying to hammer through his chest, when he can breathe and open his eyes and look up at Joe. "Hey."

He smiles, leaning down and nuzzling his lips against David's cheek, then pulling back again. "Hey, you."

"Hey." David leans up to give him a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," Joe says, trying to keep his weight balanced so he doesn't completely crush David. "And know what? I'm never gonna get tired of this. Just so you know."

"Me too," David says. "Now get down here and hold me."

"Yes, sir," Joe says, easing out of David's body then flopping down beside him and wrapping him up in his arms. "Anything you want."

David all but purrs as he nuzzles in closer. "Anything?"

"Mmm... you know what? Yup. Anything."

"Then don't let me go until we absolutely have to go somewhere."

"Deal."

"I'm so spoiled."

"Get used to it, Hewlett."

*

Joe Flanigan, with Justin Long (NPC), David Hewlett, and especially Max. No Martha Stewart...

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 02:37:01 GMT

Strider has taken Mars's rope bone. Again. So Pixel jumps down off the mantel, swipes Strider across the nose, and takes the toy back to drag it across the floor to Mars.

If Joe or David were home, Max knew they'd tell Strider he was being bad.

Which is right on cue for the key to sound in the lock, and Joe to walk in the door. "I'm home, guys," he calls out, setting a bag down on the floor, then kicking off his shoes.

Joe! Max goes out to the front hallway. Joe, you're home.

"Hey there, Max," Joe smiles, reaching down and scritching him behind the ears. "How was your day? The squirrels in the yard again?"

Lotsa squirrels. And Strider's teasing Mars a lot.

"Oh, Strider," Joe sighs. "Pixel kick his ass?" he asks, heading for the door to the yard so he can let everyone out.

Quite a lot. Max heads outside with the other dogs. And then the phone rings.

"I'll feed you when you're done," Joe calls, picking up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, honey, it's me," David responds. "I've got some bad news."

"What level of bad news are we talking about here? Family bad news, or drivehard bad news?"

"Lee's got food poisoning. I'm going to have to close the next few nights. He's going to be okay, but he's going to be down a while."

Okay, that falls somewhere in between the two. "Oh, I'm sorry... mostly sorry for him, but for you too. You hate closing," Joe says. "I hate you closing."

"I know. And he's really not okay. Karl had to carry him outside to get him to the hospital, poor guy."

"He's in the hospital? Okay, you did not say hospital, and now I'm going to hell for complaining even a little bit, David."

"Yeah. I mean, it's food poisoning. He'll get over it. But he needs medical care. And I need to close up the store. I'm not going to ask the other guys to do it. Will you be okay tonight? I'll be able to make tomorrow's dinner for you before I go in to work."

"I'll be okay," Joe assures him. "Remember? I survived to the age you met me at, after all. And you used to close a lot more often before Justin's tantrum a few years ago."

"It wasn't a tantrum," David says. "Just a ... a ..."

"He stomped. His foot."

"Well, all right, yes, he did pitch a bit of a tantrum about me closing all the time and apparently not trusting him to do it right and... whatever else it was he was upset about."

"The delay on the latest... something. Game or software or... I don't know. I think it was just included in the discussion so that he'd have a list of three things," Joe says.

David chuckles. "Yeah. Listen, honey, phone's ringing so I've got to get that. I'll see you at eight-thirty."

"Go--we'll be fine. I'll see you in a few hours. Call if you need anything."

"Love you."

"Love you too." Joe manages not to sigh until he hangs up the phone, then starts on his route to go around and feed the animals. Then first, then his turn. He can call for pizza. Or... or maybe...

Interesting. Thought number two wins. Joe retires to the kitchen to check the fridge.

Where's David? He should be home. Max joins Joe in the kitchen once he's done eating his own dinner.

"David's gonna be late, buddy. Lee got sick, and David's got to close the store," Joe explains, digging around in the freezer.

What are you doing, Joe? Did David leave you some food?

"No, he didn't, but that's okay. I'm gonna make dinner."

Is that a good idea, Joe?

"Why would it not be a good idea, oh doubting Max?"

David always cooks. He says it's better that way.

"Well, David's not here right now, and he's going to be very tired when he gets home, so I think it's my turn to make him something," Joe says, finally finding what he's looking for, a THUNK resounding in the kitchen as he drops a solidly frozen roast beef onto the counter.

I'm really not sure about this, Joe. Max lies down on the floor, his nose on his paws. Pixel wanders in and climbs up onto his back.

"It's going to be fine, Max," Joe assures him. "David exaggerates about my lack of cooking ability." Okay... so for roast beef... he was going to need a pan. Probably a big one.

Is Joe cooking?

He's cooking, Pixel.

Oh, this should be hilarious.

"Oh come on!" Joe turns around, hands on both hips. "It's not going to be that bad!"

Suuuure.

Be nice, Pixel. Max can't turn around and look at her, but boy can he ever sound disapproving. Joe has to concentrate.

"Don't make me threaten to get the no-name brand food," Joe mutters, digging under the stove for a cookie sheet.

Why would you do that to us? That's just mean. Pixel bounds off of Max's back and wanders away.

"One down..." Joe murmurs. "Okay--so... roast beef. I'm gonna need barbeque sauce. I'm gonna need a lot of barbeque sauce."

Oh, Joe... Joe... Max gets up and wanders over to the sit near Joe's feet. I'm really not sure about this...

"You could have a little more faith in me, you know," Joe tells Max, wrestling the roast out of the package and setting it on the middle of the cookie sheet. "David's going to be home at eight-thirty, so I'd better turn the temperature up so this is done when he gets home. What else should we have?"

Max bumps up against Joe's leg. David can make dinner when he gets home.

"David will be tired when he gets home. Doesn't David deserve to come home to a nice, cooked meal, Max?" Joe asks, turning the oven on and cranking it to four hundred or so. "In most modern households, the man and the man split the cooking duties, you know."

But... you can't cook, Joe.

"Can't... or have not yet unleashed my cooking potential?"

I'm not so sure about this. You should wait until David comes home.

"Yes, well, you don't have opposable thumbs, so you can't call David and tell on me, so I get to make dinner."

I don't think this is a good idea.

"I know, buddy. I promise if it all goes wrong--which it won't--David will in no way blame you. Now--I think we should have potatoes too," Joe says, going to dig around in the cupboard.

Max steps in front of the cupboard.

"Dude."

This is a bad idea, Joe.

"It's potatoes, Max. How much trouble can I get into with potatoes?"

I can't let you do this. It's for your own good.

"I have made potatoes. I have! In college!"

I don't believe you.

"Six minutes, on high, don't forget to poke it with a fork first or you're going to be buying a new microwave." Joe puts his hands on his hips and looks smug.

Max knows perfectly well that Joe can pick him up and move him, but he stands his ground. No.

"Max. Seriously. Don't you think David deserves root vegetables?"

Pixel has taught me how to be stubborn, Joe.

"Has she now?" Oh, that's just a precious mental image.

Uh huh. And I can stand right here all night. Well, until he has to pee.

"Okay," Joe says, sighing, shrugging, and turning away. He looks out into the living room. "Oh my God, what is Strider doing? Is he heading into the office?"

No! Strider, that's not allowed! Max tears away with the sound of his wee toenails clicking on the linoleum.

Joe is going to hell for his lies.

But he has potatoes.

That wasn't nice, Joe. Max is all droopy when he comes back into the kitchen.

"I swear--Max, I swear--he was thinking about it. He must have turned the other way. Thank goodness you checked!"

You're making fun of me. Max whines and lies down under David's chair at the table.

"Max. Do I ever make fun of you?" Joe asks, stabbing at the potatoes with a fork, then plunking them onto the cookie sheet.

Max doesn't answer right away. No. Strider makes fun of me.

"Well, Strider can be kind of a dick, can't he? Remember we talked about that?" Joe says, going back to the fridge for the barbeque sauce.

Uh huh. I remember. He stole Mars's rope bone today. Twice! Twice, Joe. And Mars won't stick up for himself.

Joe sighs. "Maybe Mars should be at the shop with David all the time. Or does Strider just pick on you when Mars isn't here?" he asks, looking focused as he concentrates on squirting barbeque sauce on every square inch of roast beef.

He only picks on Mars. Mars is only little. That's a lot of that red stuff you're using, Joe.

"The red stuff makes it taste good, Max."

I'm not sure about this, Joe.

"You warned me. You get full I told you so points, and if it works out, I get all the credit. Deal?"

Max sighs.

"You get I told you so points after. Not in advance."

Oh, be that way. Max knows, he just knows, this is all going to end in tears!

"You're very pessimistic for a medium sized breed, you know that, right?"

I've listened to David talking about cooking.

"So what, you think you could do this better than I could?" Joe says, turning around to look at Max.

I don't have opposable thumbs, Joe.

"No, you don't, but you said you've been listening to David. You could help me, instead of just worrying. Although I really think this is going to be just fine."

David would put the meat in something taller.

"Huh." Joe looks at the cookie sheet. "Bit flat, is it?"

Too flat. Max moves closer.

"Like... a cake pan then?"

Bigger.

"Bigger... okay... what about this?" Joe digs through the cupboards and finds an actual roasting pan.

That looks like what he uses, Joe. Max wags his tail in approval.

"Okay--see? See how much better this is when we work as a team?" Joe tells him, transferring the roast and potatoes, barbeque sauce and all, onto the roasting pan.

You really should pay attention when David gives you lessons.

"I pay attention!" David's just really hot when he goes into teacher-mode.

You pay more attention to David than you do the food. You're like Spock and Kirk.

"Oh, now... is that really fair? Comparing us to the bunnies?"

I can hear the noises coming from the bedroom. I know what you're doing, Joe. I'm not a puppy. Even if he has been neutered.

"You should not be listening to goings on in the bedroom. And... we have jobs, and lives, and Kirk and Spock only take breaks for long enough to eat. When they aren't just eating while they do it," Joe says.

The whole house can hear you! Never mind that Max shouldn't listen.

Joe gasps. "Me or David?" Okay, he's curious.

Both of you. Max tilts his head. But mostly David.

Yeah, Joe's not surprised. David can be loud. "Looks like the oven's at temperature, so we can start cooking this now."

Max lies down low on the floor and whines.

"Okay, what now?"

Vegetables. Those green ones.

"There are a lot of green vegetables... can you narrow that down for me?"

Max blinks. There are?

"Oh, yeah. Most vegetables are green. Can you tell me what they look like, before David cuts them up?" Joe asks.

You know how David puts the green vegetables in a bowl and he puts some kind of sauce on them? I think he doesn't cook the vegetables when he does that.

Joe frowns. "A salad? You mean when he makes a salad? Vegetables that look like... they're kind of frilly and leafy, like leaves on trees?"

Yes! The big leaves! Make one of those.

"Okay--you won't believe me but I actually do know how to make one of those."

It looks kind of complicated, Joe.

"You do know that I can perform intricate surgeries. On hamsters."

I don't know what a hamster is. Is it little?

"Smaller than Templeton was."

Templeton was pretty small.

"So if I can operate on something like that, I can make a lettuce. A salad--I can make a salad."

Okay, Joe. Max lies down again.

No faith in him whatsoever. Joe sighs and opens the oven, blinking at the heat, then putting the roast inside.

Joe, you have to cover your hands if you're going to open the oven!

"I think that's only if you're taking stuff out, buddy," Joe assures him.

Are you sure? I have to keep my nose out of the oven or I could get hurt.

"Yes you do. Always keep your nose out of the oven. We don't want you getting singed."

Mars wanders into the kitchen, rope bone dangling from his mouth.

No. No, we don't. Max suddenly sighs. It's still me, Mars.

Just checking. Mars sits next to Max after sniffing his butt. What's he doing?

He's cooking dinner.

My David's job.

I know, Mars. It's a little scary.

"David's coming home late, Mars, so I'm doing him a favor and making dinner for him," Joe explains. "See? I'm being nice."

Good luck. Mars doesn't sound hopeful. He wanders away with his rope bone.

"None of you have the slightest faith in me, you know that? It's kind of discouraging."

We love you, Joe! Max moves closer and gently headbutts Joe's leg. We just think you might hurt yourself.

"I promise, I'll keep being really, really careful. Okay?" Joe says, bumping his leg against Max, just as gently.

You better. I couldn't explain to David what happened if something happened.

"I'm sure you'd find a way, but nothing's going to happen." Really, Max was such an alarmist.

If you say so, Joe.

"Okay. Meat's cooking, it smells just fine, and it's time for salads. Am I allowed to use a knife?"

I guess there's no other way to cut the vegetables, huh?

"Kind of difficult, yeah. It won't look very good. It'll be a bowl of vegetables instead of a salad."

There's nothing wrong with that. You won't cut off one of your opposable thumbs.

(The whole opposable thumb thing is such a sticking point for animals.)

"Remember what we were talking about with me doing surgery, Max?"

Yes, Joe. I remember. Max rests his nose on his paws again.

"Surgery uses knives."

It must be different.

Yeah, well... a lot less bloody. Vegetables don't need to be anaesthetized. "It's still using sharp things on little things."

Well, I suppose I don't have to watch, do I?

"No, Max, you don't. You can abstain from watching me cut things if it scares you."

Max puts one paw across his nose and closes his eyes. This is too dreadful to watch.

Joe sighs and goes to the fridge to start collecting vegetables. Honestly. No one has any faith in him at all.

And then the phone rings.

Joe, the phone's ringing. Max is a very helpful boy.

"Thank you, Max." You'd never know that Joe's brain is hurting a little bit from Max's constant stating the obvious. He picks up the phone without checking the display. "Hello?"

"Hey! It's me. I just want you to know I tried really, really hard to convince David not to work tonight."

"Justin... hi, I know you did. I mean, he didn't tell me, but I know that you would have," Joe says, smiling into the phone as he starts tearing lettuce into a bowl. "Tell me that the rest of you didn't eat whatever it is that Lee ate?"

"No. He tried that new little restaurant that opened up across the street. Had this chicken salad thing... the rest of us are going to stick to the Thai place, let me tell you. It was not pretty. Dude could barely move."

"Was David serious? Karl had to pick him up and carry him?" Joe asks.

"Yeah," says Justin. "Lee's got a good forty pounds on Karl. It was kind of impressive."

"Justin, you didn't stare at Karl's ass when he bent over to pick him up, did you?"

Justin's quiet a moment. "Why would I do that?" he asks.

"'Cause I've outright caught you at it before," Joe smirks, starting to cut the carrots. Oh, wait, was he supposed to peel those first? Ah, it'll be fine.

"Joe?"

"Uh huh?"

"What're ya doin' over there?" Justin asks, gently, not at all accusingly.

"Um... nothing?"

"Joe," says Justin, "are you cooking?"

"Technically, what I'm doing right now doesn't involve cooking. It's vegetables."

"Joe! Don't you love David?"

"What?" Joe sets the knife down and puts his hands on his hips. "Of course I love David! I'm doing a nice thing--I'm making a roast, and potatoes, and a salad."

"Ohmygod," Justin says in a small voice. "Have you ever cooked a roast before?"

"It's already in the oven, so technically, I am currently cooking a roast," Joe says. He can smell it. Or... well, he can smell something. Kind of carmelizey.

"Joe, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Oh my god, does Max get that from you?"

Justin laughs helplessly. "Has he spent all night telling you what a bad idea this is?"

"He's hiding his eyes because I'm using a knife at the moment. And yes."

"Oh, poor Max! Poor, poor Max. I'll have to give him some cheese next time I see him."

"No one, no one in the world has any faith in my ability not to blow up a kitchen," Joe sighs.

"With good reason."

"I'm not feeling the love here, Justin."

"We love you. We do. But you shouldn't cook."

"David is going to come home tired, and worn out, because everyone knows he shouldn't close the store, and I'm going to have dinner ready for him. Why is that a bad thing?"

Joe.

"Because you love him and you shouldn't force your cooking on him!"

Joe?

"I--hang on, Justin," Joe says, looking down. "Yeah, Max?"

Joe, the oven doesn't smell right.

"It's fine, Max--I'm sure it's just caramelizing," Joe tells Max, although he speaks into the phone.

"Joe," Justin says, very slowly, "are you frying up some onions?"

"No... no onions. Just the roast and the potatoes, and there's no onions. Just the barbeque sauce."

"Barbeque sauce?"

"For flavor, on the roast," Joe explains.

"How much did you use?"

"I don't know, half the bottle? It's not a small roast, so I had to cover it pretty well."

"Has David ever mentioned to you how easily sugar burns?"

There's a long pause from Joe's end of the phone. "The last time I tried to make spaghetti sauce using ketchup? But I didn't use ketchup on the roast!"

"Joe, barbeque sauce is full of sugar!"

"Well why didn't anyone tell me that?" Joe drops the phone and goes rushing over to the oven, opening it and coughing as smoke comes billowing out. "SHIT!"

Max can hear Justin through the phone. Max likes Justin. But Max does not like smoke, so he whines and goes to hide under David's chair.

Pixel wanders into the kitchen. Joe, are you trying to burn the house down?

Pixel, run for your life! Save yourself and Mars! Max is awfully overdramatic sometimes.

"Max, the house is not burning down!" Joe says, waving at the oven with a dishtowel and coughing more, sighing when the smoke alarm goes off. Of course.

Right, I'm going out into the backyard. I'll be back later. Pixel leaves.

Max is sad that he's too big to fit through the cat door. And that he doesn't have opposable thumbs for calling for help.

Joe keeps waving at the oven, coughing, and reaches out far enough to grab the phone. "Justin, you'd better not be calling the fire department. Or David."

"Are you burning down your house!?"

"No! There's just smoke!" A lot of smoke. "I think the barbeque sauce burned to the bottom of the pan."

"Sugar, Joe. Sugar."

"Yes, well... hindsight, twenty-twenty-blahblahblah," Joe sighs.

"Joe, Joe, Joe..."

"Okay, so a few things went wrong here," Joe says, coughing again and going over to the stove to turn it down. "I think it's possible the oven might have been a little bit hot."

"Or you used too much barbeque sauce."

"That too. I wonder if the roast is done," Joe murmurs, wedging the phone against his shoulder and finding the oven mitts so he can take it out. It's a very interesting colour.

"I fear for your man."

"Don't call him! I can fix this!"

"If I don't call him, I will hear about this all day tomorrow."

"I will rat you out on the Karl ass staring," Joe threatens.

"He has a great ass."

"I'm not answering that question without my boyfriend present, because that's the sort of thing I only say when David is right next to me."

"I wasn't asking you to say that Karl has a great ass. I was just saying that he does. I think I'm very jealous."

"Justin, I think I'm about to pass out from the smell of burning sugar and meat, so can I assure you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with your ass and you have no reason to be jealous of Karl's another time?"

Justin sighs. "You're not going to burn down your house?"

"The oven is off. Unless you think I can rinse off the burned stuff and try again?" Joe says, sounding hopeful.

"I thought you said you love David."

"Am I allowed to finish the salad?"

"I suppose so."

"You're not gonna call David. He'll only panic, and there weren't even any flames," Joe says.

Justin sighs. "I'm not going to call David. But I'm going to talk to him about it tomorrow."

"I'm sure you'll hear plenty. Max is going to be I told you so-ing until David gets home."

"You'll probably deserve it."

"The amount of crap I get for trying to do a nice thing is rather boggling, you know. I need to hang up and open every window in the place," Joe sighs.

"I'll see you later, Joe."

"Later--definitely later," Joe says, hanging up the phone. Maybe if he sprays pine sol room deodorizer everywhere, David'll just think he cleaned.

It could work.

*

David's home! Max can hear the garage door, and he races through the house to go meet David.

"Oh good. David's home." Joe manages not to swear... an unusual response for him to David coming home, for sure.

"Honey? Honey, are you all right?" David's got an armful of Thai food when he comes into the house.

Joe's eyes narrow at the boxes of Thai when David appears. "That no-assed little rat bastard."

"Justin sent me a text," David says, a little frantic when he reaches the kitchen. "Is everyone in one piece?"

"Oh, that isn't even sticking to the spirit of the law, let alone the letter," Joe mutters. Justin's in SO much trouble.

David puts the food down on the counter, then reaches for Joe. "He cares about us."

"I think that Max and Justin jinxed me," Joe says, going over to David and hugging him.

"I think your lack of cooking knowledge probably jinxed you." David kisses Joe very gently. "Silly man."

"Do I get any credit at all for trying to do something nice for you, even if I almost burned the kitchen up?" Joe says, very plaintive.

David kisses him again. "Of course you do."

"So... Justin sent you a text, did he?"

"He said he'd said he wouldn't call me."

"I'm telling on him to Karl, I swear."

"What?"

"It's... never mind. I wrecked the roast, David. And for the record, you can't blame Max. He tried very, very hard to get me to stop."

"I'm sure he did," David says with a little smile. "You could have just made me a sandwich."

"There's nothing romantic about a sandwich." Joe's lower lip is jutting out a little.

"I don't need romance all the time," David says. "I get to come home to you every day."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you so much," Joe says, leaning in and giving David a kiss. "And I will find a way to clean your roasting pan."

"Baking soda."

"Baking soda? Baking soda. I can do that," Joe promises. "After Thai food, maybe?"

"Yes. After Thai." David kisses his cheek. "I love you, you know. Even if you try to burn down our house."

"Well... technically, I tried to make you dinner. Almost burning down the house, that was just a bonus."

"And you have no idea how special I feel that you wanted to burn the house down just for me."

"You're the only one I would even dare attempt to do things that would result in a fire," Joe assures him.

David hugs him tight. "You're the best."

"And hey--look!" Joe says, wriggling out of his arms and dragging David over to the island. "I made a salad. All my limbs still intact!"

"Oh, look. There's lettuce and a carrot in there."

(Max hears the word 'carrot' and sneaks up to sit by David's feet.)

Joe looks terribly proud. "And Max thought I couldn't be trusted with a knife."

David kisses Joe's cheek. "I'm very proud of you."

"Thank you," Joe says, smiling back at him. "I'm not allowed to touch the oven anymore when you're not home, am I?"

"No, honey," David says, smiling. "You're not."

Joe sighs. "I think that's fair."

"Now, let's have some dinner. And I think my man deserves some ice cream tonight, too." David gently pushes Joe to the table.

"And I think you deserve a lot more than ice cream, just for putting up with me."

"I don't 'put up with' you, Joe. I love you."

"And I love you. Next time I'll find a better way of showing it. Something that doesn't involve you speeding home, afraid that you won't beat the fire trucks here," Joe says.

"Now that's how my man shows he loves me."

"Absence of fire trucks is how I say I care?"

"Yes."

"Done."

"And, Joe?"

"Uh huh?" Joe says, lifting containers out of the bags.

"Next time, please just make me a sandwich?"

"David? You've got yourself a deal."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with Karl Urban. Date Night.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:52:42 GMT

[Sometime not so long after Karl gets hired.]

"Joe!" Karl greets Joe enthusiastically when he comes into the geek shop. "How're you doing, mate?"

"I'm good--really good," Joe grins. It had been a good day--nothing catastrophic, for once--and his assistant had shown up with a surprise for him. Which is why Joe's here now. "The boss around, or is he working too hard, as usual?"

"He's working too hard," Karl replies, but he points to the back, where David's office is. "I think he's on the phone, giving a supplier hell. Six hard drives they sent him early last year have failed." He frowns. "Justin said he's never seen Dave so mad."

Joe winces--and not even at the 'Dave'. That's just Karl. "That is bad... he doesn't really get mad. Hopefully I can coax him out of the bad mood though," Joe says, grinning at Karl and showing him the flowers he's been hiding behind his back.

Karl grins back. "Aren't you the most thoughtful boyfriend ever? I can definitely see Dave as a carnation fella, too. They're lovely. You go on through and surprise him. I'm not looking to get any shorter by interrupting him."

"Thanks," Joe says, shifting the bag he's carrying higher up on his shoulder, then walking softly into David's office, hiding the flowers behind him again.

"No, that is not an acceptable option." David isn't shouting into the phone, but he's as close as he'd ever get. "No, six. Of a shipment of ten. Sixty percent isn't the kind of number anyone should be happy with. Yes. Yes, please have Tom call me tomorrow. That's right. And your name was, again? Karen. Thank you, Karen. I'm in the shop ten to six, CST. Thank you." With a heavy sigh, he hangs up the phone and cradles his head in his hands, entirely unaware that Joe's standing in the doorway.

"So... I hear you're having a bad day," Joe says after a few moments, hoping that he won't startle David too badly.

David does start, though only a little. He smiles when he looks up. "Today was poo," he announces solemnly.

Joe offers him the flowers. "Any better now?"

"Carnations," David says, breaking into a bright, crooked smile. "Joe, they're gorgeous." He gets up and takes the flowers, then leans up to give Joe a kiss. "Thank you."

"And I didn't even know that your day was poo," Joe adds, smiling at him and extending the kiss.

"It's like you just know the right thing to do." David wraps his arms around Joe's shoulders and kisses him again. "You're the best, gorgeous."

"Does Karl really call you 'Dave' all the time?" Joe murmurs, right against his lips. "And I haven't even started being the best yet..." he says, trailing off mysteriously.

"Yeah, he does, and what do you mean? The best?" David keeps his arms draped over Joe's shoulders.

Joe reaches his arms around David and tucks something into his back pocket, still looking all mysterious and such.

"You tease," David laughs, reaching back to tug... two theatre tickets out of his pocket. "You spoil the hell out of me, you know that? But, God, look at me, Joe. I'm a mess."

"They're from Ashley, so I can't take all the credit," Joe says, taking them back before David can see that he's concealed the name of the show with Post-its. "But for this?" Joe passes over the bag. "This I get the credit for."

"Did you bring me supplies?"

Joe just grins.

"You're the best." David leans up and kisses him, then takes the bag. "How long have I got?"

"Fifteen minutes so that we can have twenty minutes to get to the restaurant."

"Love you," David says, then grabs the bag and hurries to the bathroom. "Entertain Karl!"

"What am I supposed to do, juggle?" Joe calls after David.

"Shadow puppets?" is David's suggestion through the closed door.

"Shadow puppets. Excellent," Joe murmurs, snorting under his breath and going out to find Karl again. "Looks like I managed to work some magic after all."

Karl looks up from the guts of a PC. "Great," he says. "It'll be nice to see him with a smile on his face."

"See... this is why I stick to the insides of animals and not machines," Joe says, looking over Karl's shoulder. "Much less difficult to deal with."

"Did you hear about the giant dead spider that Justin found in someone's computer on Monday?"

"Giant dead spider like... wolf spider, or tarantula?"

Karl looks up and back at him. "Uh... a really big spider about an inch across?"

"Okay. Those are out of my areas of expertise, and ew," Joe says firmly.

"So much ew," Karl agrees. "More ew than I could deal with. So I ran away to get coffee. Spiders are almost as bad as poison ivy," he adds in a mutter.

"Poison ivy? I heard it was only bad if you were allergic to it, and that not everyone is," Joe says, looking thoughtful. "But tell me... what did David and Justin do when they saw the spider?"

"Well, your man shrieked like a girl and hid behind me, and I hid behind Justin, and I think Justin might have been on the verge of tears, then Henry came and saved us all from the dead creepy-crawly."

"Well thank God for Henry. But... aren't you both a lot bigger than Justin? How did you even begin to hide behind him?" Joe asks. "Tell you what--tell David to start bringing Pix more often. She's a spider hunter, that one."

"Pix is the little grey kitten that David's got that picture of on his desk, right?"

"Yes... well, yes and no. She's gone past the kitten stage, but she's definitely still tiny," Joe says. "She's one of the reasons we got together."

"Really? You were brought together by a wee little cat? That's so sweet I think I have a cavity." Karl grins cheekily.

Joe wrinkles his nose, and grins back at Karl. "I know... we do tend to send people into sugar shock."

"It's nice though," Karl admits. "Makes you feel good about life and all that. And you know--" he points, "Dave cleans up pretty nice."

"Stoppit," David says, waving a hand.

"Look at my sexy man," Joe says, a huge grin spreading across his face before he goes over to David and pulls him in for a kiss. "You really do clean up nice," he murmurs.

"Sugar shock," Karl says with a grin.

"Oh, hush you," David says.

"He was telling me horror stories of spiders in computers."

David shudders and holds Joe a little tighter. "It was awful."

"Bring Miss Pix to the shop. She can do a different kind of bug hunt for you guys," Joe suggests.

"I should," David says. "It's about time she met New Guy anyway." He gives Karl a gentle nudge. "You'll be okay closing up? You remember how to print all the reports? And balancing our totals? You've got my cell phone--"

"Oh my god, Joe, get your man out of here," Karl says, getting to his feet and making shooing motions.

Joe laughs and starts dragging David from the room. "Have a good night, Karl. If you need anything? Call Justin. David's taking the night off."

"I will," Karl says. "You two be good."

"We make no promises," David says, taking Joe's hand.

"We never make promises about that," Joe says, waggling his eyebrows obscenely at Karl.

"Good!" Karl calls out as they leave. "Have fun, you two."

God, they're so adorable they give him cavities. Which he realises is a mixed metaphor or something, but he doesn't care.

*

"Okay, so it's either the honey garlic chicken, or the fillet mignon, and I cannot decide." David sighs heavily. Life is difficult.

"You could get both," Joe tempts him. "Have lots of leftovers. Or, if you can't bring yourself to do that, we can get both and I'll split them with you."

"Would you do that? For me, baby? And the Caesar salad?"

Joe laughs and leans forward. "And the Caesar salad. And we're getting dessert too," he warns David. "We don't do this nearly often enough."

"Not at all," David agrees. "We're too busy, sometimes. And that's a shame. I like dating you."

"You know, we barely even dated before we moved in together. Not in the traditional high school dating sense," Joe points out. "We usually ended up at one or the other's house. If it was your place, you cooked for me, if it was my place... either you cooked for me, or we ordered takeout."

"Mostly I cooked for you," David says, grinning. "It's nice to have a night off."

"I really should learn to make a few more things, shouldn't I?" Joe sighs. "It's kind of appalling, me making you my domestic servant." At least in terms of the kitchen. Joe does most of the dishes and clean up, and the 'manly' outdoor chores. Like scooping dog shit and mowing the lawn.

"We'll go back to the spaghetti lessons, gorgeous," David says with a big grin. "And I'll always make sure there's sauce in the freezer, so all you have to do is unthaw and warm the sauce, and cook the noodles, and if we're feeling adventurous? We'll tackle the garlic bread."

"It's cute when you think I'm pretty," Joe says, grinning back at him. "I think we can probably get me to make spaghetti without destroying your kitchen."

"And after spaghetti? We'll try lasagne."

"Okay, now you're just getting way over my head."

David reaches for his hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I have faith in you." And then he pulls his hand away casually as their server approaches to take their order.

Joe smiles warmly at the server, who gives him an even wider smile back--strange, she must want a good tip--then orders the chicken for himself, leaving David to order the steak and Caesar salad.

She gives Joe another last, longing sort of look before she leaves and David shakes his head. "You charmer, you," he says.

"What?" Joe looks over his shoulder, then back to David. "She seemed nice, I guess. Kind of overly friendly, don't you think?"

"Uh huh," David says, grinning behind his wine glass.

"Okay, and now you're laughing at me. That's not nice, you know," Joe protests, reaching for his own wine.

"I'd never laugh at you, sugar pie," David says. And giggles.

"I'd be mildly disturbed if you weren't so cute when you giggle," Joe says.

"Aw, how sweet."

"Cute when you giggle, cute when you shave, cute when you make fun of my chest hair..."

"I have never made fun of your chest hair. That was Max."

He sighs. "Max finds my body hair disturbing. Did you used to spend a lot of time walking around him naked? Because he really makes the distinction between us," Joe says.

"He liked the bathroom when it got all steamed up, so he'd lie there when I showered, and, well, I'd step out, and there's my dog."

"Your dog likes steam baths. He really is a lush, David."

David laughs. "I know. That's why we love him."

"I really do. He's such a pretty boy."

"He's the prettiest boy in ever."

"And doesn't he just know it?" Joe says, then shakes his head and laughs.

"He does, he really, really does."

"No, it's not that... you know the new vet who's working in my practice? The woman with the three kids?"

"Yeah? Ooh, thank you," he says, as the server comes by with their salad.

Joe smiles at her again, looking a little weirded out when she gives him that brilliant smile again. Strange. "Yeah--she says that when she and her husband finally manage to get a sitter and go out for a meal, they spend the whole night talking about the kids. I guess we're not that far removed."

"Oh my God." David laughs. "We're talking about our kids!" He reaches out and squeezes the lemon over their salad.

"We really are. How freakin' domestic and married are we?" Joe says, laughing as well.

David looks across at him, his expression softening. "As close as we can get in this country."

"I could give a damn about the country," Joe says, reaching for David's hand again. "I'm yours, you're mine, to the end of... whatever. Nothing can change that."

"Nothing at all," David agrees, squeezing Joe's hand. There are two young women who have just been seated near them, and they start twittering at each other. David could give a flying fuck.

"Even my grandmother likes you. And she knows that you're English."

David laughs. "I was very pleased to get that particular vote of confidence."

"Definitely. Especially since that great aunt of yours, whatsername, still calls me a--well--I'm not going to say the word in a crowded restaurant." She hadn't taken the notion of her precious David seeing someone of Irish ancestry. The fact that he’s actually American hadn't helped.

"Auntie Louise is insane, Joe. I swear, certifiable. She calls Kate 'Katherine', for God's sake."

"She calls her Katherine and she lives?" Joe's shocked. "So, not so bad that she has never referred to me by name then, huh?"

"Yeah, no. I mean, yeah, Katherine's on Kate's birth certificate and all, but nobody's called her that since she was a few hours old. When Mum and Dad decided on Katherine over Elizabeth, and then she's always been Kate." David shakes his head. "Crazy Auntie Louise."

"And if Kate decides to call me Joseph when she decides I'm in trouble, well, I'm not gonna cross her there. Wow. Crazy Auntie Louise is either really crazy, or totally brave."

"Crazy. She thinks that the government is watching her."

"Maybe they are. She's kind of mean," Joe murmurs, looking conspiratorial.

"Maybe they should. Then they can put her in a nice, padded room." David's eyes go wide. "I--I never said that out loud. Please, don't tell my mum."

"I've seen your mum's face when Crazy Auntie Louise goes off... she might just agree with you."

"I think maybe you're right."

"So we'll ask your mum what she wants for her next birthday--a new crock pot, or Crazy Auntie Louise to be committed."

"She'd probably tell us that we shouldn't tease her."

"You're right," Joe nods. "That would be cruel." Yeah, they're both going to hell.

"You know we're going to hell, right, baby?" David pops a crouton into his mouth.

"You're 'married' to a Catholic. Aren't you already going to hell?" Joe says, stealing one of David's croutons and mirroring the gesture.

"It's entirely possible, but then, you're 'married' to a Protestant, so we'll go together." As well they should. David rubs his foot up the back of Joe's leg.

"Plus you‘re, y'know. Gay. And I'm bisexual, so I don't even think I exist," Joe whispers, then grins. The foot thing is nice.

"Oh my God, you don't exist? What am I going to do?"

"I should be worried... you've got that new hot guy at the shop."

"Don't be worried. He's not you. Well, unless some pretty young thing catches your interest..." David sniffs.

"I'm sorry, but I already have that position filled, thank you."

"I knew it! You're having Justin on the side." Somehow, David manages to keep a straight face.

Joe? Can't. "Justin?" he sputters, then starts laughing. "Oh God, do you know what he'd... no, no, no, no. Poor Justin."

"Poor, poor Justin would run and hide. I think Karl seriously challenges his sexuality."

"Poor Justin indeed," Joe says, still laughing. "What about Karl's sexuality? Figured anything out there?"

"Well, he flirts pretty ridiculously with, um, everything. Including Mars."

"I'm not sure I can approve of that," Joe says, raising an eyebrow. "He flirts? Does he flirt with me?"

"Yes, Joe. He flirts with you, with me, with Justin, with everyone who walks in the front door, with the baristas at the coffee shop, with the cop who came in the other day to ask us if we'd seen the accident out in the parking lot which we did and I swear I almost had a heart attack..."

"Oh, my poor David! About the accident, not having to watch Karl flirt. I'm sure you're fine with that," Joe says. "Are you sure he flirts with me? I've never noticed."

"Joe, you wouldn't notice a flirt if it came up to you, hit you on the head, and sat on your face."

Joe's eyes go wide. "I... oh my god, I really am that clueless, aren't I? I should keep a kitten in my pockets at all time. Pixel was instrumental. Although... no, I don't need to know if people are flirting with me. You'll tell me if I need to know."

"Yes, yes, I will." David rubs his hands together as their meal arrives, and the server lingers. He looks pointedly across the table at Joe.

"What?" Joe says, then looks up at the server and smiles. "Thank you. It looks good. Um... can we help you?" he offers.

"Do you need anything else? More wine? Napkins?" she asks.

David hides a grin behind his wine glass again.

"Uh... no, I think we're good," Joe says, smiling at David. "I'll let you know if we come up with anything."

"All right. Let me know." She backs away slooowly. And then is gone.

David giggles.

Joe looks at her, at David, at her, at David again. Then sighs. "I don't get it," he admits.

"She thinks you're a hottie."

Joe squeaks, eyes going wide. "Nuh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Oh God! Have I been flirting back?" Joe is suddenly worried.

David laughs. "No, gorgeous. Don't worry."

"Thank goodness," Joe sighs. "That would suck. Because I wouldn't be flirting with someone on purpose, obviously. I'm not sure I know how."

"You do just fine flirting with me," David says as reassuringly as he can manage.

"You do remember that it took the dog and cat both to get me to make a move, right?"

"Well, yes, but I mean, since."

"Oh, well... that's good!" Joe looks pleased.

David thinks he's adorable. "You're adorable."

"Does that mean there's a chance I might be able to talk you into making out on the couch when we get home?"

"I think so."

"And if I get us dessert to share?" Joe says, smiling even more adorably.

David grins and leans across the table, crooking his finger at Joe.

Joe leans closer, grinning wider still.

"If you get us dessert to share," David whispers, "I can promise you a blow job."

"Cheesecake or chocolate mousse?"

"Chocolate mousse," David says as he sits back.

"Done," Joe says, sitting back as well, smiling as the server appears again. "Good--I'm glad you're back. When we're done, can we get one order of chocolate mousse, please?"

"Of course," she says, and refills Joe's water glass. She refills David's almost as an afterthought, then lingers again for a moment before she leaves.

"Damn... I forgot to ask for two spoons. I'll remind her when she comes back," Joe decides.

Oh, that'll be entertaining. David sighs and sits back, quite done with the filet mignon. "Okay, gorgeous. Do we still have time before we have to be at the theatre?"

"Definitely. Tonight, we've got time to spare," Joe says, taking one more bite of chicken, then stealing a bit of David's steak.

"Good," David says. "I like lingering. So, hey, what are we going to see?"

"You'll find out when we get there," Joe says mysteriously.

"Tease," David complains.

"You like it when I tease, baby," Joe murmurs, grinning.

David laughs. "Sure do."

The waitress comes by to clear away their plates.

"Oh, miss? When you bring the dessert, we'll need two spoons," Joe says, smiling at her again.

She blinks at him, looks at David, looks at Joe, then smiles. "Of course. And it'll be right out." She scurries away.

"That's better. Eating chocolate mousse with a fork would suck," Joe nods, looking back at David again.

"Uh huh," David says, grinning.

"She didn't stay so long this time," Joe says. "Maybe you were wrong."

"She just realised that I'm your boyfriend."

"Wait... you mean she hadn't figured that out yet?" Joe says, actually surprised. "What do I have to do, take you over the table?"

David gives him an indulgent smile. "I'm not exactly in your league."

"What do you--now you're just being ridiculous," Joe scoffs, leaning across the table and laying a kiss on David, right then and there. Not in his league his ass.

David doesn't pay attention to the stares. Or the comments. He smiles across at Joe. "Love you," he says, softly.

"Love you," Joe murmurs back. "And we're doing this more often... the whole date thing. You deserve it."

"So do you."

"Then it works out well for both of us, don't you think?" Joe smiles, then grins even wider when the chocolate mousse shows up.

And two spoons.

*

"Joe--that was--I mean--oh my GOD!" David's beaming, holding Joe's hand tight as they leave the theatre, walking backwards so he can see him. "Joe, thank you so much."

"I remembered that you wanted to see it, and when the tickets came up... there was no way I wasn't going for it," Joe says, absolutely thrilled that David's so happy. Pretty much his goal in life, that, and if he can accomplish it with dinner out and tickets to Wicked, that’s a small, small price to pay.

David leans over and kisses him, right there in the street in front of God and everybody. "I love you so much."

"Take me home, David," Joe murmurs, feeling drunk off David's energy and excitement. The kiss helps too. "We've still got act three to go, you know."

"Making out? Fantastic."

"Which of course, is just the prelude to act four, which is going to involve you and me and a room with no pets to commentate."

"Even better. I'm getting laid tonight."

"You bet that perfectly heart-shaped ass of yours, baby," Joe purrs. "Come on--lets go find the car before I end up taking you to the nearest motel, which is sure to be completely unsanitary and won't have lube in the nightstand." He pauses. "Not any I want to use, anyway."

"Y'know the spare sweater I keep in the back seat?" David swings their hands between them.

"Uh huh," Joe nods.

"I keep lube in the pocket."

"You are the best boyfriend ever. Ever."

"I know," David says, loftily. "So, y'know, if you ever did want to stop at a motel..."

Joe groans under his breath and leans closer. "Gorgeous, best boyfriend, and kind of evil. If I didn't want you in our own bed tonight...."

David leans over, kisses him fleetingly, then steps away quickly to get into the passenger seat. "Then let's get me in our own bed, yeah?"

"At this rate? You're going to be one tired geek tomorrow morning."

"I think it's worth it."

"I think I can handle the pressure."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. The dangers of trusting a labrador retriever...

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:09:47 GMT

[Takes place not so very long after Joe and David get the gay bunnies, when Mars is still a puppy]

As soon as Joe comes in the door, Max comes running in from the kitchen and plops his little furry self down on Joe's feet. We need to talk.

"We do? What's up, buddy?" Joe asks, settling down closer and scritching Max behind the ears.

First, you need to know that it wasn't Mars's fault. He's just a puppy, Joe. Just a puppy!

Uh oh. "Okay... it wasn't Mars's fault," Joe repeats. "You better tell me though, so we can see if we can fix it."

Strider talked him into it. And I tried to stop them, Joe, I did, I tried to stop them!

"I'm sure you did, buddy," Joe says. "You're good like that." If a massive tattletale. "So come on--tell me what happened."

It's a good thing you're home first. Max gets up and starts walking to the back of the house, to Joe and David's office. Where dogs and cats are Not Allowed.

Joe follows along, raising an eyebrow when the get close. "Max... what's the rule about the office?"

Max's whole body droops, not just his tail. We don't go in the office, Joe. But... but Strider did, and he talked Mars into it, and...

And there are bits of magazine everywhere. It appears to be just about every magazine that Joe or David ever collected. Shredded. All over the office.

He blinks a few times and just stares. "Oh. My. God."

Max jumps up and puts his cold wet little nose against Joe's hand. It's not Mars's fault, Joe.

"David is going to completely snap," Joe murmurs, still looking around the room. "Who did the shredding, buddy?"

Max gets down and sits on the floor. He bumps up against Joe's leg. Strider. And Mars.

"Uh huh. STRIDER! Get in here!"

Max lies down on on Joe's feet. Maybe that'll keep Joe from getting mad. Max is a very, very good boy.

A moment later, Strider wanders in lazily. Is it dinner? I'm hungry.

"Really? I would have thought all the paper would have you completely full," Joe says, hands on his hips.

Strider sits down and scratches at his neck. I didn't do it.

"Like it wasn't you who shredded the pile of newspapers for recycling that we had out in the yard, right?"

Not sure what you're talking about. Strider yawns dramatically.

"Okay, you are seriously nothing like your namesake. Tolkien would be disappointed. Outside," Joe says, pointing toward the door.

Are we going for a walk? Strider gets up, stretches, and starts to wander very slowly through the house.

"You're going outside until you can learn to behave properly, or stop lying. Preferably both, but I'm not all that hopeful," Joe says grimly, opening the door to the yard. "Out."

You're no fun sometimes. And out he goes.

Max whines pitifully from behind Joe. He hates it when people are mad.

Joe closes the door and hides a sigh, dropping down to stroke Max's ears. "It's okay, Max. You didn't do anything bad. Do you know where Mars is?"

He's sleeping in his bed.

"Got it. Hey... why don't you go wait for David. He could probably use some attention when he gets home, huh?"

You're not mad at me? Max twists his head around so he can lick Joe's hand.

"No, bud. I'm not mad at you. It's okay," Joe promises. "I'll clean it up after I talk to Mars."

If you're sure. I'll go wait for David. Max licks Joe's hand again, then hurries off to wait by the front door.

Joe sighs once Max heads off, then goes to find Mars, settling down beside his bed. "Hey there," he says gently. "I think we need to talk."

Mars's eyes blink open. Hi. He moves so that he can rest his chin on Joe's lap. His eyes start to close again.

"Hey, Mars," Joe says, stroking his head. "I gotta ask you something, okay? All that paper in the office, did you eat any of it? Or just play with it?"

Ate some. Played with it. Strider said it was okay.

"How's your tummy feeling?" Joe asks, reaching down carefully and running his hand over Mars's stomach. "Any pain... anything feeling sharp?" The paper isn't a huge concern, but if he swallowed staples, there could be problems.

Don't feel so good.

"Poor guy," Joe says, making himself stay calm so Mars didn't get upset. "Tell me what it feels like... okay? Like you ate too much grass and need to be sick, or does it feel like it actually hurts? Like if you stepped on something sharp?"

Mars looks up at him. Hurts, Joe.

Shit. "Okay... you're gonna be fine, Mars. I think we should just go back to the office and check you out so I can make you feel better. That sound okay?"

You always make me feel better.

And that right there sort of broke Joe's heart. "I'm gonna go put some blankets in the cab of the truck and come back for you. You just stay put. I promise, I won't be gone long."

From the front of the house, Joe can finally hear David calling out, "Honey? Why won't Max let me in?"

"Hang on--I'll be right there," Joe calls, stroking Mars's head one more time, then heading for the door. "I told him to give you some attention when you got home," Joe says, trying to figure out how to tell David what was going on without freaking him out. "Look... I need to take Mars back to the office. He ate some paper, and his stomach's hurting. It's probably nothing, but I think we need to get it checked out."

David blinks. "How did he get his paws on some paper?"

"Magazines, actually," Joe says. "I can explain, but... I should really get him to the office. You can come, or I can call you later, but I should really get going."

"Magazines? What? Has--has everyone eaten yet? Should I feed everybody and join you at the office?"

"Yeah... yeah, probably a good idea," Joe nods. "Just... don't go into our office. Okay?"

David looks at him a brief moment, then sighs. "Magazines, huh?"

"Yeah. Max told me all about it. He's gonna be okay, baby--I just need to check him out. Okay?" Joe repeats, turning to the closet beside the door and finding some old blankets.

"Oh my god. Okay. All right. I won't panic. I swear I won't panic. I'm going to go feed animals." David starts to move down the hallway, then he turns back to Joe. "Is Strider responsible for this?"

"Not according to Strider, who is to stay in the backyard until further notice," Joe says over his shoulder.

David sighs heavily. Typical.

*

"Is he okay?" David feels like he's spent a lot of time sitting at Joe's computer, playing solitaire, over the years. And a lot of time jumping up, demanding to know if one of their animals was okay.

"He's gonna be fine," Joe says, looking tired as he goes over and hugs David. "I think he's learned an important lesson about eating magazines, and trusting Strider."

David groans and wraps his arms around Joe's shoulders. "That dog does not live up to his namesake, you know."

"Yeah, I told him that too," Joe agrees, holding on nice and tightly. "Mars is fine. He's gonna be sore for a few days, and I'm gonna keep him here over night and sedated, then watch him tomorrow, just to make sure I didn't miss anything. Maybe after that he can come to the shop with you so he's close."

David closes his eyes. "Okay. Sounds good. That damn lab..."

"I know, I know... Angel and Riley would have been appalled," Joe sighs.

"I love him to death, Joe, and I want to sell him to gypsies."

"Spoken like a true owner of a labrador retriever," Joe says, swaying David back and forth a little. "I don't think he expected Mars would eat as much of the magazines as he did. He just likes shredding them. And he thought he could blame going into our office on Mars, because he's little."

"And I just bet Max was beside himself."

"He was there telling me we had to talk before I could even take my shoes off," Joe nods. "Telling me that it wasn't Mars's fault, and I couldn't blame him."

"He worries too much," David says with a little smile.

"I can't imagine where he gets that from," Joe deadpans. "He'll be worried though, especially when we don't bring Mars home tonight. Poor guy."

"We'll talk to him and I might be forced to give him one and a half cookies tonight."

"He'll be okay. Mars being actually sick might even get to Strider, a little bit."

"I really hope so." David leans up on his toes, kisses Joe again, and then runs his fingers through Joe's hair. "Ready to go home to the kids?"

"Yeah," Joe says, nodding back at David. "Do you want to see him before you go? He's sedated, so he won't know you're there, so it's really your call.

David frowns and fidgets. "What if I do something embarrassing like cry?"

"No one'd be there to see you but me, and I don't think it's embarrassing at all," Joe assures him. "But he'll come home tomorrow, and he is going to be fine, I promise."

"Then I'll go say goodnight to him."

"Okay," Joe says, reaching out for David's hand. "Come on back and say goodnight."

It's a quiet little affair, and David manages not to cry at all as he leans down and kisses Mars's head and wishes him a good night. He squeezes Joe's hand and lets Joe lead him out to their cars, and tells him he'll see him at home.

They pull into the driveway one after the other, and David immediately takes Joe's hand again to head into the house. "I was thinking," he says.

"Tell me what you've been thinking about?" Joe asks, keeping his keys in his free hand so he can open the door.

"That tub of Oreo ice cream in the freezer." David grins.

"I like where this is going already."

When they get into the house, Max bounces up from the mat in front of the door and prances in a little circle. He's so anxious, all he can manage is Mars? Mars! Mars?.

Joe drops down in front of him immediately, trying to get him to stay still long enough that he can pet him. "Mars has to stay at the clinic for the night, Max--but he's going to be okay. I promise."

David crouches down, too, and reaches out to run his hand down Max's back. The poor sheltie is just vibrating with anxiety. "Hey, bud, it's gonna be okay. There's no need to be so worked up. Everything's going to be just fine."

Mars? Max looks between Joe and David, then goes to David and puts his feet up on David's chest. Mars is okay?

"David saw him too, and I took really good care of him," Joe says, stroking his fur. "He needs to stay the night so he can rest."

Max drags his tongue all the way up the side of David's face, then jumps off him again. Okay. Okay. He's okay. He's still kind of shaking.

David bites his lip. Max is getting highly nervous in his old age.

"He's gonna be just fine," Joe tells him again. "Poor Max. You were worried, weren't you?"

So worried. And Strider barked for half an hour and then Pixel went outside and suddenly he didn't want to bark anymore. And I can't find my red ball.

"We'll find your red ball," Joe says, scritching his ears. "And I'm sure Pixel and Strider had a good talk."

David's pretty sure that Pixel put the fear of god into Strider, but he's not about to say that out loud. "Why don't you two go find that ball," he suggests as he gets to his feet, "and I'll make a couple of sandwiches and get the ice cream from the deep freeze."

"I think that sounds like a good idea," Joe agrees. "Max? Lets find that ball of yours, and then you can tell everyone that Mars is gonna be just fine." Since Max probably has everyone good and worked up now.

*

Max and Pixel are dozing in front of the unlit fireplace; Strider is curled up on a bed in the corner; even the bunnies are fast asleep in their hutch. David snuggles in against Joe's side and hands him a bowl of ice cream. "I really need to rename those two," he says, indicating the rabbits with his spoon.

"Hmm?" Joe says, looking over at where David's pointing. "Ahhh. You can name them whatever you want. I don't think they're too set on their names."

David takes a bite of his ice cream and looks thoughtful a moment. Then he says, "Kirk and Spock."

"Kirk and Spock?" Joe looks at him and grins. "David... have you been spending time on the internet again?"

"I work in a computer store, Joe."

"You're spending time at work reading that? Justin would be shocked."

David laughs. "He probably wouldn't."

"Am I overestimating Justin's adorable purity? He just blushes so nicely," Joe says.

"He does. And he reads Xena/Gabrielle smut."

Joe gasps in mock horror.

"He does!"

"I don't know if I'll be able to look at him the same ever again!"

"Ah, you'll be fine."

"I don't know..." Joe teases. "But if you want to name them Kirk and Spock, I think it's perfect."

"Good," David says. "I think I shall do just that."

"So which one's Kirk and which one's Spock?"

"I don't know. I can't tell them apart."

"Okay..." Joe thinks about it for a moment. "Well, that one almost always bottoms," he says, pointing.

David grins evilly. "That one's Kirk."

"You think so, huh? And I thought I knew the depths of your science fiction thoughts..."

David smirks. "Oh, I think so. I really do."

"I will never watch Star Trek the same way again, "Joe vows.

"Come on, Joe. Kirk's skirt-chasing is totally overcompensating for his deep, deep desire to get thoroughly boned by Spock."

"Okay... I really can't argue that," Joe admits slowly.

David leans over and kisses his cheek. "I know."

"So who else is gay and I didn't know it?"

David considers this. "Artoo Detoo and See Threepio."

"Okay... I think even I can see that one. My gaydar sucks, David."

David laughs and kisses him. "It sucks a lot, but I love you."

"Thank god for Max and Pixel. That or you would have had to get very bold for me to notice. Probably something involving you getting naked and tugging at my pants," Joe sighs.

"Trust me, gorgeous--that wasn't far off."

"Oh yeah?" Joe turns so that he can see David a little better. "You were going to seduce me, were you? Tell me."

David blushes furiously. "Um, I'm not that sophisticated. On any level."

"So tell me what you were going to do," Joe coaxes, fluttering his lashes at David.

"Um... continue to ask you out until I got up the nerve to kiss you?"

"I think that's adorable," Joe says, leaning up and kissing him again. "Like you."

"You think I'm adorable? Did you hit your head?"

"I think you're adorable, sexy, charming, funny, wonderful, amazing, delightful, cute..."

David tries to hide behind his ice cream. "Stoppit," he says in a small voice.

"Did I mention sexy? I should have said it at least three times."

"Stoppit!"

Joe laughs and moves David's ice cream so he can kiss him again. "Okay. But I'm right."

"You're the sexy one in this relationship."

"Not with this hair I'm not."

"I love your hair!"

"Strider asked me how come he had to get brushed if I never used one," Joe confesses.

David giggles. Yes, giggles. Somewhat akin to a schoolgirl.

"And thank you for your support!"

"Oh, honey," David says, shaking his head. "You know I love your hair."

"Even if I look like a mangy dog?"

"You don't look like a mangy dog."

"You're saying that because you love me. And because I put out," Joe murmurs.

"Don't make me call Justin to have him tell you how hot you are."

"Justin has an opinion on my level of hotness?" Joe squeaks.

"Yes."

"I'm trying to remember all the times I've ever bent over in your shop."

David grins wickedly at him. "I'll never tell."

"You're evil." Joe pauses. "Oh, and sexy too."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. Enter the gay bunnies.

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 05:19:05 GMT

[Not so very long after Joe and David acquire Mars.]

Max and Mars meet David at the door when he comes home from work. "Hey, guys," he says, "make some room for me, huh?" He toes out of his shoes, drops his satchel by the stairs, and takes off his jacket.

"Joe? You home, gorgeous?" he calls out.

Joe's settled in on the living room carpet, leaning forward and talking softly and calmly, more or less under his breath. He's been there for awhile now, doing more or less exactly the same thing.

"Joe? Are you home?" David's got a large Tupperware container in his hands as he wanders through the house and into the kitchen.

"In here," Joe calls out from the living room, still plunked down on his butt. "How was your day?"

"It was a good day," David replies, from the kitchen. "Remember that lawyer--Ms Gellar--whose laptop I saved at the end of the day yesterday?"

"Uh... yes--yes, I remember you telling me that," Joe says. "What about her?"

"Somehow, despite being a super-busy lawyer, she managed to find time to bake me some oatmeal cookies. She dropped them by just as I was leaving."

"Isn't that sweet of her!" Joe says, sounding very 'aww' about the whole thing. "Are they any good, or does she bake like, well. A super-busy lawyer?"

"They're quite good, though they do taste kind of like one of those just-add-liquids premix concoction thingies. Want a couple? And some milk?"

"I'd love some. Any plans for dinner? I haven't thought of anything yet, although I've been eyeing the pizza delivery menus," Joe admits.

"I left some chicken to thaw in the refrigerator," David says. "I just thought I'd bake it, cook up some rice, and do some vegetables. Broccoli and cauliflower sound good?" He pours some milk, grabs a couple of cookies and joins Joe in the family room. There's a rabbit hutch. That's new. He hands over the milk and cookies, then wanders back to the kitchen.

"Thanks," Joe says, taking a drink of milk, then a bite of cookie, then setting them both down, his attention going back to the pair of rabbits. "And... yeah, I think that sounds good. Maybe some raw vegetables too, or a salad. I can help with that if you want." If there's anything left after what he's given the bunnies.

Rabbit. Hutch. David pauses halfway to the refrigerator, then goes back to the family room. "Joe."

"Uh huh?"

"There are bunnies."

"Two of them," Joe confirms.

"It would appear that they are currently mating."

Joe looks down, then up again. "Yeah... they do that a lot."

"Well, you know, they're rabbits."

"That's Bert, and that's Ernie," Joe points.

"They're boys?"

"Uh huh."

"And they're going at it like horny teenagers."

"Ye-eah... like I said. They do that. A lot. Bert and Ernie are lovers," Joe says.

"Bert and Ernie."

"I didn't name them!"

"Well, they're kind of dumb names."

"The guy's toddler named them after the characters on Sesame Street," Joe explains, a hint of 'pissed off' showing in his face.

"Well, that's kinda cute," David says, sitting down next to Joe.

"And then they started doing this, and they thought, okay, Bert must be 'Roberta' and then... they switched positions."

David suddenly giggles.

"Yes. They're gay bunnies who switch."

"They're gay bunnies. That's so sweet. How long are we lodging them? No room at the inn, so to speak?"

Joe shifts uncomfortably. "They... the guy brought them in, and told me what they were doing, and told me to fix them. Not fix like... 'fix', but make them not be like that. And I said that even if I did, uh, neuter them, they'd probably still continue with the behavior, now that it was established. And he told me to put them down."

David turns slowly and stares at him. "What."

"He did, David. And I refused, and he tried to take them back and said he'd do it himself, and I told him to get the hell out before I called the police, and..." Joe gestures down at the cage. "Gay bunnies in the living room."

"He wanted you to kill them because they're gay."

Joe nods, all sad eyed.

David bites his lip, then stands abruptly and walks over to the window.

"I'll find them a home, if you want, David--as soon as I can, I promise, but I had to bring them home. They're gay bunnies in love," he mutters, poking at the hutch.

David sniffles loudly. "I understand," he says.

Joe gets up and goes over to him when he hears the sniff, wrapping both arms around David's waist.

"Would that sonofabitch be just as happy to kill us?" David demands.

"Hey... people are idiots. And when parallels come up in the animal kingdom to point out that homosexuality isn't just something for humans, it freaks them out. He's not welcome at my practice anymore. He's been blackballed, across the board. No more Mr. Homophobe."

David wipes at his eyes. "Good."

"Want me to help make dinner?" Joe murmurs, swaying him gently back and forth. "And after, if they're done boffing each other, we could snuggle and snuggle the bunnies?"

David smiles and wipes his eyes again. "Only if you promise to boff me tonight."

"You wanna be Bert or Ernie?"

"See, keep calling them that, then all I can picture are the Muppets, and I'm instantly turned off."

"You want to look at bunnies and be turned on?" Joe raises an eyebrow.

David sticks his tongue out at him.

"Love you."

"It's a good thing," David says, turning around and wrapping his arms around Joe's neck. He leans up for a kiss, then says, "Let's leave the bunnies some privacy and make dinner."

"Mmm. Fair warning? We might be a little low on some things out of the vegetable crisper," Joe admits, kissing David again.

"You're on the early shift tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah... I got home awhile ago, but I didn't get anything done because of the bunnies," Joe says.

"Okay," David says, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen. "Just because the bunnies have a tragic story, doesn't get you out of veggie-restocking tomorrow."

"It won't," Joe promises. "I need to get them some proper bunny food too, but we were low, and I didn't want to stop with them in the car."

David pauses just by the rabbits' cage, then says, "You know, I've never had rabbits. I always heard 'shagging like rabbits' and all, but... don't they ever get tired?"

"I haven't really asked them," Joe admits. "Mostly because... they haven't really stopped for long enough for me to have a real conversation with them."

Suddenly David's giggling again. "Oh, my god."

"What?" Joe says, coming up to him and grinning.

"Gay, horny bunnies!" David giggles and flees to the kitchen.

Joe cracks up, shakes his head, and follows after the giggling David.

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with NPC Justin Long. In the alley.

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 04:31:43 GMT

[Sometime in 2006(ish)]

David's up to his eyeballs in inventory. Parts, accessories, books, everything. He damn well hates month-end. He hates doing the reports, he hates being in the shop at seven am, he hates being there until close at nine, and he wonders who the dumbass was who thought that Wizard Computers needed to have a monthly inventory.

Oh, right, that'd be him.

He sighs heavily, then reaches out gratefully for the mocha that Justin's just brought him.

Except Justin? Is not handing over.

"David, I think you should call Joe," Justin says.

"I'm fine!" David says. "I'm not freaking out. Everything's going really well. Really, really, really well."

"No, no, it's not that." Justin puts the coffees down and grabs David's arm and starts dragging him to the door.

"Justin!" David exclaims. "I'm not done, I've got work to do, where are we going?"

"To the alley. C'mon. And be quiet."

"I am quiet."

"Shh!"

And then Justin stops, and he points, and it's at that precise moment that David's heart breaks. "Oh, my God," he whispers. "Look at him. He's so skinny."

"Call Joe," Justin says, insistently.

David hands over his cell phone, then starts further down the alley, slowly, talking in low, soothing tones. "Hey there, little guy. Where'd you come from, huh?"

Justin holds the phone in his hands like it's a priceless treasure. David's phone. Hell. Eventually, he manages to find the number to the clinic.

"Hello, David," says the receptionist. "Month end today?"

Justin winces. "Uh, actually, I work for David. My name's Justin. I need to--"

"Oh my God!" The receptionist sounds horrified. "Is David all right? Oh--"

"No, no, he's just fine," Justin says, "but there is a problem. Is Joe available?"

"Yeah," says the receptionist, "he's in his office. Let me transfer you."

The line goes to adult contemporary music for a moment.

"This is Doctor Joe, how can I help you?"

"Joe, it's Justin."

"Oh my God." Joe's chair scrapes back as he stands. "Is David all right? I've told him and told him--he doesn't have to do this every month. Or he should hire someone to be in charge of it, or something."

"David's okay," Justin says quickly. "He is. But we've got someone here who isn't. We're in the alley between our shop and the cafe, and there's a dog. I think he's a Rottweiler, and Joe, he doesn't look good. At all."

And now Joe's on the move all over again, voice shifting to one that's much more calm, and a lot more businesslike. "Okay--Justin, can you tell me what you mean by 'doesn't look good'? I need to know what I need to bring."

"He's really skinny. He wouldn't let me near him, but David's working some kind of magic and--" He pauses for a moment; on Joe's end of the line David's voice can be heard, though none of the words can be made out. "Okay," Justin says after a moment, "he's got lots of sores, too. David says some of them look infected. And Joe, when I say he looks really skinny, I'm talking, like, runway model."

"Justin, I'm gonna hang up on you for a second--answer the phone when it rings, okay?" Joe says, hanging up the landline and switching over to his cellphone, hands free and all, dialing David's number again and moving around his office, gathering some emergency supplies.

"Hey," Justin says. "Oh my God, Joe, you should see this. He's almost let David right to him. It's unbelievable."

"You don't have to convince me that David's amazing," Joe smiles. "Tell me again where you are, Justin. And can you tell me--does this guy look full grown, or does he look more like a big puppy?" It's hard to tell with Rottweilers sometimes.

"The alley between the shop and the cafe," Justin says. "And I think... I think a big puppy. He's probably not very old."

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell David to keep doing what he's doing. If you've got anything in the office... meat or cheese or anything, grab it, just in case you have to convince him to stick around. Don't give it to him unless you have to, just keep it in reserve. I'm on my way, all right?" Joe promises.

"Okay, Joe," Justin says. "We'll be waiting."

"Just keep cool--it's gonna be fine," he says, hanging up and heading out into the reception area. A quick explanation to the receptionist, and he's out the door, and heading for David's shop.

Justin hurries away, grabbing a few treats and taking a few steps deeper into the alley this time. "David? Joe's on his way. I've got a bit of food here, but Joe said just to hold on to it in case we need to use it to convince the dog to stay here."

"Okay," David says, very softly. He's sitting on the ground in the dirty alley now, just being as close as the Rottweiler will allow. "We'll wait, won't we, bud? You'll like Joe. A lot."

Joe sets a few land-speed records getting to the shop, grabbing a leash that he can loop over the dog's neck to keep him from bolting, a blanket, and not much else for the moment. He can get a better look at him once he's got the dog in the back of his truck. "Hey there," he says, coming up behind Justin. "I'm glad you called. How's David doing?" he says, assessing the dog--puppy, Justin was right--from a distance. God, they weren't kidding. He really doesn't look good, at all.

"I bet he's got a really cold butt right now," Justin says, "but it looks like he's just kind of working miracles right now."

"That's my man," Joe murmurs, giving Justin's shoulder a squeeze and moving into the puppy's eyeline, not wanting to startle him. "Hey there, buddy. I'm Joe, and I'm here to help you," he says, low and soft, as reassuring as he knows how. "I know you're scared, and I know you hurt, but I can help you. David there, he's a good friend of mine, and he could tell you it's okay to trust me." He keeps moving slowly forward, keeping his hands where the puppy can see them.

The puppy looks at David, looks at Joe, and takes a step back.

"It's okay," David says, gently, "Joe's gonna help you. Right, Joe?"

"Shhh--I'm not going to hurt you," Joe promises, crouching lower so he's not so tall and imposing. "I'm here to help. That's my job, buddy. I help make animals feel better when they're hurt." He keeps watching the puppy, listening to him, and a bit of a frown crosses his face, just for a moment.

"He'll help make you feel better," David says, smiling crookedly, still focused entirely on the puppy. "He's a good guy. We'll get you fed, and cleaned up, and take care of you. I promise."

The puppy's dark, haunted eyes turn to Joe, and he just stares at him.

"This doesn't make sense," Joe murmurs, getting even closer. "Hey there... you can hear me, right?" he says, smiling at the puppy, still soft and gentle. "My name's Joe, and I'm going to help you. Can you sit for me? Let me take a look at you?" he suggests. Maybe the puppy can't hear... although that still doesn't explain any of this.

The puppy tilts his head to the side, but he sits down.

"There's a very good boy," David says. He wants so badly to gather this little dude up in his arms and hold him forever, but he doesn't move.

Okay. He can hear. That doesn't explain anything. Joe looks even more troubled. "Hi there," he smiles, crouching down right beside the puppy and reaching a hand out to him, still giving him some distance. "See? I won't hurt you, buddy. You can trust me. I want to take you with me and get you some food, and help you so you don't hurt anymore. I promise, I'll take care of you. Whaddya say?"

"What's he saying?" David whispers, finally looking at Joe as the puppy stretches forward, just a little, sniffing at Joe's hand.

"Nothing," Joe says, completely bewildered, keeping his hand still so the puppy can sniff him.

"Nothing? What do you mean... nothing?"

"He's saying nothing. Absolutely nothing. He can hear me, and he can understand me, but... I'm not getting anything from him." Joe's voice is still calm and gentle, and he's still smiling at the puppy, but he doesn't understand. Even brand new baby puppies have more to say than this guy does. "Do you think you can walk, bud? I can carry you if you want, but it's up to you."

The puppy stays quite still, looking up at Joe, then he looks at David. And then, just one word, in a very small voice: Safe?

Oh thank God. "Safe--yes. You're absolutely safe," Joe promises. "We'll take such good care of you, and I'll make you all better."

The puppy looks up at Joe. Carry.

David's holding his breath as he watches them.

"David? I need you to go ahead of me and open the back of the truck," Joe tells him. "There's a blanket in the back--spread it out, so I can lay him down." That said, he crouches closer and slips his arms around the puppy. "This might hurt a bit, buddy, but it'll be okay soon," Joe promises, lifting him up.

The puppy doesn't make a squeak as Joe picks him up. He watches David go, though, as David hurries through the alley, past a rather confused-looking Justin, and opens up the back of Joe's truck to spread out the blanket. At least David's breathing again.

"See? You're okay, buddy," Joe says, setting the puppy down and stroking his head. "Damn... David, can you drive, or hang out in the back with him while I drive? It could be a bit rough, and he's gonna need someone to watch him."

David looks over at the geek shop. Justin's suddenly right behind him,a nd he shoves at David's shoulder. "Go."

"But--inventory--"

"How long have I worked for you? I know how to do it, David," Justin says. "You go take care of your man and that dog."

"Oh, but--"

"Go."

David starts to climb behind the wheel, but the puppy starts whining. "What is it, bud?" he asks, looking at him.

Stay.

"He wants you," Joe says. "I'm getting a few one word answers out of him now--he said 'stay'. He's picked you, David."

"The dog's talking?" says Justin, still standing right behind David.

Uh oh. Joe winces, and looks at David. He'd been too worried to remember.

David turns to Justin. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?"

"Uh--" says Justin.

"Be there at seven."

"Uh... sure. Right. But--month-end?"

"I won't make you work overtime. Whatever you don't get done, we'll finish tomorrow. See you at seven!" David climbs into the back seat of the truck with the puppy.

"We'll explain, promise," Joe says, flashing a grin at him, even though he's in a hurry. "It's just a longer conversation than we've got time for right now. See you tonight," he says, heading for the door of the truck.

"Oh...kay..." Justin steps back and watches them drive off.

"He's not even wearing a collar," David says, softly, reaching out and offering the puppy his hand.

"Just keep talking to him," Joe encourages. Personally, he doesn't think that whoever this puppy belonged to gave a damn.

"Wait till you see the clinic," David says. "It's really neat. All sorts of toys and snacks for you."

The puppy looks up at him, then rests his chin on David's hand and closes his eyes.

"Oh," David says.

"Is he all right?" Joe checks. He's trying to pay attention to the road, and not the passengers, but it's hard. Plus, he's trying to keep things as smooth as possible. That puppy's got to be in some serious pain.

"He's just... got his head on my hand."

And that's the sound of David falling in love. Joe just hopes the puppy's going to be all right. He has to be.

*

David's been playing solitaire on Joe's computer for a long while. He looks up when Joe comes into his office. "How's he doing? Say anything more? Is he sleeping? Is he going to be okay? Did he eat? Should we take him home?"

"Okay--just take a deep breath, David," Joe says, sitting down beside him. "He's seriously malnourished and dehydrated. I'm surprised he was even on his feet when Justin found him," he admits. "I had to sedate him, because it would have hurt him too much to clean all those sores otherwise. I'm gonna keep him like that for a good twenty-four hours so we can pump some fluids into him and give him some time to just rest, plus I want him to have around-the-clock care in case anything comes up." Joe's never regretted making his clinic a twenty-four hour emergency one, even though it's meant a few middle of the night calls.

David sits down heavily. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"I think so, yeah," Joe nods. "His main troubles are the malnourishment and dehydration. The sores look awful, but they should clear up just fine, even the infected ones."

"Well, that's something. Why would someone do this to him?"

"Oh, David... you'll go nuts if you try and figure out an answer for why people do things to animals," Joe sighs, rubbing at his eyes. The things he's heard... there's some things he tries not to take home with him. It hurts too much. "He hasn't told me anything. I think... I don't think he can talk much, honestly. I don't think he knows how. I'm getting instinctual reactions when I get anything. More feelings than actual communicated words."

David holds his head in his hands.

"Hey... David, it's okay," Joe says, moving in front of him. "He's hurt, but he trusts us. He's gonna make it just fine."

David looks up at him and nods. There are tears in his eyes.

"Baby... do you want to keep this one?" Joe murmurs, crouching in front of David.

David nods. "Yeah. I... I really do."

"Okay," Joe nods. "I need to keep him here until he's a little more stable. But then we can take him home with us."

David smiles a shaky little smile. "Good."

"Good," Joe echoes. "I've got to be here for awhile longer, then I can come home. Do you want me to drive you home, and you can get dinner ready, and cuddle Max and Pix for awhile?"

David nods. "Yeah. I'd like that a lot."

"Okay," Joe smiles, leaning up and giving him a soft kiss. "I love you so much. You know that, right?"

"I do," David says. "I love you, too."

"Lets get you home," Joe says, standing up and taking David's hand. "I won't be long. Or... I'll really try not to be too long."

David leans in. "Remember, Justin's coming for dinner." He gives Joe a kiss.

"Right. We should have saved time and explained to him about me at the same time we outed you," Joe sighs, taking his hand. "But it's okay. Just a few appointments and I'll be all yours."

David takes a deep breath, then smiles bravely. "Hindsight and all that. Let's go, gorgeous."

They walk past the reception desk and Joe smiles at the woman behind it. "I'll be back soon. Just have to drive this guy home... let me know if anything changes in the... you know... twenty minutes I'm gone."

"I will," she says. "You making David take a well-deserved break from month-end?"

"Kind of," Joe admits. "Justin helped. He's taking care of things back at the farm."

"Aw, isn't that sweet. You drive safe."

"I'll be back in twenty minutes--half an hour tops," he promises, heading out the door, fingers linked with David's.

*

Continued here...

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. One Year.

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 02:16:03 GMT

[Back in 2001.]

"Let me help with the dishes. Really." David looks rather like he's afraid that Joe's going to break the good salad spoons.

"You cooked, I do the dishes," Joe reminds David. "We settled that one on like our... third date? Fourth?"

"I feel useless just sitting here staring at the leftover wine."

"You could list the pros and cons of the last three Doctors again."

Please don't. Pixel jumps up onto Joe's vacated chair, then up onto the counter so she can supervise him cleaning the dishes.

"I know you don't want to hear me ramble right now," David says, taking a sip of his glass of wine.

"I always like hearing you ramble, you know that," Joe says over his shoulder, threatening to pet Pixel with one soapy hand, then not going through with it. "I'm only sorry that we've not yet managed to teach me how to cook."

"Well, it's only been a year. Plenty more ahead of us." David smiles crookedly.

"Maybe that's what I love best about you. Your constant optimism," Joe sighs blissfully, turning back over his shoulder one more time and smiling at David.

David gets to his feet and goes over to Joe. He wraps his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on Joe's shoulder. "I'm constantly optimistic?"

"When you're not convinced the entire world is going to be destroyed in a ball of flame and ... something to do with aliens that I can't remember, you're very optimistic," Joe says, leaning back against David.

David rolls his eyes. "I was high on Nyquil and mainlining Doctor Who and Babylon 5 episodes."

"And it was so adorable and pathetic that if you hadn't felt so gross, I probably would have giggled inappropriately."

You did giggle inappropriately. Angel sticks his nose in the dishwasher.

It's a good thing David can't hear us. Pixel shoots a little kitty glare at Angel.

"I appreciate you not laughing at me," David says, kissing Joe's neck.

"Angel, get out of the dishwasher and go lay down on your mat," Joe says, hearing the jingle of cutlery without even having to look. "Well, you were sick. And really pretty pathetic."

Angel lets out a sigh and goes to flop down on his mat. Pixel, taking pity on him, bounces off the counter to go curl up against him.

David's eyes are closed and he's got his cheek resting against Joe's shoulder. It doesn't really matter that Joe's doing the dishes right now, he's comfy. "I hate being sick. It's a good thing I'm not sick very often."

Joe agrees. David takes being pathetic while ill to a new level. And he's gotten pretty used to doing the dishes while David hangs off of him. "I know you do. You know, flu shots really aren't so bad."

"Every time I get a flu shot, I come down with the flu," David protests.

"It's psychosomatic," Joe counters.

"Is not."

Joe definitely doesn't look up at the ceiling for strength. Nope. Not at all. "Of course it's not, baby."

"Mmm. Wanna see what I got for dessert? No, don't look so disappointed that I didn't make it myself."

"You made dinner, that's plenty," Joe says, taking his hands out of the water and drying them on a cloth, then turning around to face David, arms slipping around his waist. "What's my dessert?"

David leans up and gives him a quick kiss, then slips out of his arms. "I want you to go sit in the living room and wait till I tell you to come back to the kitchen. Okay?"

Joe just about protests, but then his mouth snaps closed and he nods, sighing just for form. Max'll tell him what David's up to. "Fine, but I hope it won't take too long."

David pushes Joe toward the living room, where Max is chewing happily on a rawhide bone, and they can hear David going down to the basement. Must be in the freezer, whatever it is.

He made me promise not to tell. Max doesn't look up from his determined chewing.

"Oh, come on!" Joe complains, flopping down on the floor in front of Max and belly-crawling toward him. "You know you wanna tell me...."

He said I wouldn't get my carrot this week if I told.

"You BLACKMAILED the dog?"

David's voice comes from the kitchen: "I don't know what you're talking about."

Look, Joe. Once I don't have any more teeth, I'll spill every last secret that David tells me. But while I still have teeth, I'm eating every carrot I can get.

"Right, like I couldn't give you carrots?" All right, they both know that's a lie--Joe thinks it's ridiculous that Max has a thing for carrots, and doesn't encourage the habit at all.

Max lifts his head and levels a stare at Joe for a few minutes, then goes back to chewing.

"Okay." David steps into the living room and holds out his hand. "Come see."

"I'll remember this, Max. Oh, I'll remember this," Joe promises nice and low, then lets David pull him up to his feet. "Okay, show me," he says, following David back into the kitchen and hoping that they didn't leave a big enough window for one of the animals to attack whatever it is.

Pixel's up on one of the chairs, eyeing the ice cream cake set on the cake server in the middle of the table. The cake has something red drizzled all over it, and a few strawberries set around the edge. And written, in white, are the words:

To Joe,
my heart,
Happy Anniversary

Love, David

Joe's still holding on to David's hand as they walk up to the table, his grip only getting tighter as he sees what's written on the cake. Which he can tell is on David's very best cake server. "David..." he says, trailing off because he just doesn't know how he can say any of the things he wants to say past the lump that's suddenly in his throat. He gives his hand another squeeze, blinking very quickly and clearing his throat. "That's... Pixel, don't you dare."

Are you kidding me? I like my hide just the way it is. She slips off the chair and runs out of the room to leave the boys to have some privacy.

David squeezes Joe's hand in return, then turns towards him and puts his arms around Joe's neck. "I love you. I'm so glad we found each other."

"I love you too," Joe murmurs back, wrapping his arms around David and leaning in for a slow, gentle kiss. "You even used your best cake server. Now I really know you love me."

"Yeah, I do." David runs his fingers through Joe's hair. "You're stuck with me."

"Good," Joe says, smiling at the tug to his hair, then leaning in for another kiss.

David rests his forehead against Joe's for a minute. "I suppose we ought to eat some of that cake before it melts into goo."

"Mmm... goo," Joe supplies the obvious response.

David kisses his nose, then urges him down to the table. He slices the cake, and sets a slice in front of Joe--vanilla ice cream, with what appears to be both chunks of Oreo cookie and frozen strawberries, and it has a chocolate cake bottom.

Joe looks like he's in junk food heaven. Cookies and strawberries and chocolate and cake and ice cream all in one mix--it's like the best of all worlds. "You really are the best boyfriend ever, you know that, right?"

David turns bright pink as he sits down with his own (slightly smaller) slice of cake. "I am?"

He looks up at David with a mouthful of cake and just sighs, nodding a bunch of times in a row. "Oh, yeah."

"Well--well--so are you."

"And that's why I get cake?" Joe's foot finds David's under the table.

"Yeah," David says, smiling up at him. "That's why you get cake."

"And I get you because I'm just the luckiest guy in the world?"

"Yeah, baby," David says, softly, leaning over and giving Joe a kiss. "You are."

"You know at this rate we're never going to get through the cake, right?" Joe points out, not letting David pull back.

"Maybe I ought to stick it all back in the box and the freezer for later?"

"Hmm... maybe that's a good idea," he agrees, licking a bit of strawberry sauce off David's lip.

David chases Joe's tongue with his own. "It's definitely a good idea, if you're going to keep licking me."

"Somehow I don't think you want me to stop..."

"I can't say no to your tongue, Joe."

"Good. Then answer me this," Joe says, lifting his head so he can look into David's eyes again. "Got any more strawberry sauce?"

David nods. "There's some left over."

"So, if you can't say no to my tongue on a normal day, and I added strawberry sauce to the mix?"

"I'd be naked faster than you can say 'get naked'?"

"Well then grab the syrup and lock away the cats."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me." David laughs, kisses Joe again, then gets to his feet. "I'll put this away and get the syrup. You deal with the furry ones."

"No problem. I'll just come up with something to blackmail them with, like you did with poor Max, who now thinks he's never going to see another carrot again." Joe stands up too, shaking his head sadly.

David rolls his eyes. "He does not."

"Your dog is a drama queen, David."

This time David sighs. "He is, isn't he?"

"Like father like son," Joe gets out before ducking just out of reach.

"You'll pay for that one, Flanigan!" David calls out after him before he clears away the cake and puts it in the freezer. He leaves the plates in the sink, grabs the little bottle of strawberry sauce, then hurries for the bedroom.

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Norman

Sat, 13 Sep 2008 01:34:30 GMT

[Back in 2000, when Kate is first visiting Joe and David.]

"Joe? Kate?" David calls out as he opens the front door. "Anybody home? Hello?" Max and Pixel aren't even running to meet him. "Hello?" he calls out again, and then he hears the shower running in the guest bath, so that answers one question. "Joe? Baby?" Still no answer, so he picks up all the Chinese food he's left on the porch, and heads back to the kitchen.

The Chinese food hits the floor with a loud splat and some clattering as David shrieks in terror.

Joe is out in the back yard, putting out the dry food for the temporary dogs when he hears David scream. "David?" he yells, grabbing the closest weapon-like-thing (garden hoe) and running into the house, brandishing it menacingly. "David, are you all right?" he says, looking around for danger.

"JOE! OH MY GOD!"

"What is it? David--what?" Joe practically spins in circles, trying to figure out if he has to hit someone with the hoe. "Where did they go? Are we being robbed?"

"WHAT IS THAT!" David, up on a kitchen chair, points at the strange creature now happily prowling about and nosing into the spilled Chinese food.

Max and Pixel haven't even ventured towards the treasure trove of people food on the floor--they're sitting together on their mat, curiously watching that same creature that has David so horrified.

"What is... what, that?" Joe looks completely baffled... and why is David up on a chair? "That's Norman."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT!" David's reaching decibels and levels of shrillness that surely can't be at all normal for a male voice.

"There's nothing wrong with him," Joe says reassuringly, reaching down and picking him up, cradling him in his arms. "He's perfectly fine. Just pet him--feel how soft he is," he offers, stepping closer.

David draws back and nearly topples over.

"What's all the yelling?" Kate comes running into the kitchen, skidding to a halt on her bare feet. "Ohhhh! Lookit! Is that a sphynx?" She hurries over to Joe, wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel, her hair in tight, dripping-wet curls.

Now it's Joe's turn to yelp in horror. "Kate! Where are your clothes?" This has to be illegal. She's David's sister, she can't not be wearing clothes.

"I was in the shower and I heard David shrieking," Kate says, stepping closer to Joe and running her hand down the hairless cat's back. "Oh, he's beautiful!"

"I... but... you..." Joe looks to David for help, but David's too busy being appalled by the cat. "Uh... right. Kate, this is Norman."

"Norman," she coos, and almost takes the cat from Joe, then she draws back. "Oh, I should put on some pants! And then I can hold him. I'll be right back!" She hurries away.

"That's a cat?" David demands.

"Of course it's a cat, what did you think it was? Were you really screaming about Norman?" Joe asks, trying not to laugh, and just glad Kate's going to go get dressed. "He's a big suck--you sure you don't want to pet him?"

A cat? Really? Tentatively, Max comes over and gets up on his hind legs, front paws up against Joe's leg. He sniffs the air. We thought he was an alien.

Pixel comes over, too, then steps daintily around the spilled food, bounds up onto a stepstool, up onto the counter, and then leaps to the kitchen table so she can get a better look. Definitely an alien.

"Oh, come on, you guys, it's not an alien," Joe says, turning so that they can see the cat better. "See? Just a cat."

Max draws back, but Pixel strains forward on the table. Smells like a cat to me.

Gotta be an alien. Lookit those ears! Max returns to his mat, head tilted curiously to the side. He's so fascinated by Norman that he's not even noticed that there are carrots on the floor.

"David, the animals are convinced this is an alien. It might help if you pet it. Or got down off the chair," Joe says patiently.

Just as David starts to step down off his chair, Templeton wanders into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of the Chinese food. Then he spots Norman, up in Joe's arms, and he starts letting out a stream of very, very colourful language. He turns around and tries to hightail it out of the room, but he bangs into the wall, falls down, scrambles to his feet again, and runs away as fast as he possibly can. All the while, making a great deal of noise about how that thing is going to kill them all.

A few moments later, there comes a Kate-like yelp from upstairs, and then she comes back into the kitchen dressed appropriately in jeans and tee-shirt. "Templeton nearly tripped me as he tore up the stairs," she says. "What in the world happened to him?"

Joe tries to answer, but he's laughing so hard that the cat is shaking, and there are tears in his eyes. "He... I... he..." he wheezes.

That was the best thing ever! I say we keep Norman! Pixel bounds up into David's arms.

"What happened?" Kate demands, taking Norman from Joe and stroking his head.

"Templeton... saw... Norman," Joe rasps, tears streaking his face. "Thinks... gonna... kill us all."

Norman looks despairingly up at Kate with wide, wide eyes. They're all crazy but you. Will you take me home to my Mildred?

Which is enough to sober Joe up considerably, a last few coughs, and he's breathing more or less normally. "Poor thing," he says, handing Normal carefully over to Kate. "He's pretty lost right now, and I can't blame him. Plus, now he thinks we're all nuts."

"Why's he lost?" David asks, carefully coming down from the chair so Pixel could get a closer look at Norman when he was in Kate's arms.

Joe sighs, going over to stroke Norman's ears. "Norman's been coming to see me for a few years now. We've always gotten on really well, so... his owner always brought him. And now that she's..." Joe hesitates, looking at Norman, "now that she's not going to be bringing him back, she left Norman for me to take care of."

Where's Mildred? Is she coming to get me?

"Oh!" Kate gasps, and hugs Norman close. "You poor little darling!"

"I guess Mildred figured Norman'd be safe with me, and she didn't have any family, so... that's why he's here," Joe finishes, looking at David.

"Poor little guy," David says, frowning. "He's gonna need someone to take care of him."

"I will!" Kate declares. "I'll take care of him."

"You will?" Joe looks surprised, then smiles. "Are you serious... you'll take Norman?"

Kate nods enthusiastically. "He's just beautiful," she says, and starts cooing at Norman again.

Joe isn't sure that 'beautiful' is the word that he would use, but if Kate likes him, that's all that matters, isn't it? "Hey, Norman... how would you feel about staying with Kate here?" he asks, stroking Norman's head.

Norman looks up at Kate, then turns his head to regard Joe solemnly. My Mildred isn't coming back, is she?

He sighs, then shakes his head. "No, Norman... I'm so sorry, but she's not," he says, very softly. "She wanted you to come to me, because she knew I'd take care of you. And I know that you'll be so happy with Kate here. She's a really special lady."

Well, she smells nice. Norman rests his head against Kate's chest. And she's comfy.

Kate bites her lip and looks at Joe. "Does he want to come home with me?" she whispers.

"He thinks you smell nice, and that you're comfy. That's a start, I think," Joe whispers back.

She smiles, serenely, and sits down at the table with Norman cradled in her arms. "One of you boys should clean up that mess before Max eats so much he throws up," she says.

"Oh, jeez, Max!"

Max jumps and looks very guilty. Joe? I don't feel so good.

Joe groans. "You had to keep encouraging him to eat carrots, didn't you, David?" he sighs.

David looks guilty. "C'mon, Max," he says, "let's you and me and Miss Pix go outside for a bit, huh?"

Max follows along obediently after him.

"Which is my cue to clean the leftover Chinese off the kitchen floor before someone else decides to eat it, then make my world famous call to the pizza place," Joe decides, looking around for the garbage can.

"You order up a mean pizza, Joe," Kate assures him.

"This is very true, Miss Kate," Joe says solemnly, as he picks up handfuls of noodles and eggrolls. "Believe me... you don't want me doing anything in the kitchen but the dishes."

"David's told me a few stories," Kate admits. "They're a little frightening."

"To be fair, I don't see why a take out place would put food in a metal container if it can't go in the microwave. That's just mean."

"It's okay. I burnt water once, and David cried."

"He cried when you burnt water?" Joe looks confused. "Or... oh. Did you wreck one of his pots?"

She nods. "Yeah... ruined one of his pots. It was his first year living on his own."

Joe winces. "I thought you could heat up canned spaghetti in the can, placed in the pot."

"Ohhh," Kate says, "that sounds bad."

"It really didn't end up that well, no."

Joe! Joe! I found a cricket but David wouldn't let me play with it. Pixel tears back into the kitchen and sits on Joe's feet while he's attempting to clean up. He was mean.

Joe looks down at the Pixel-on-his-feet. "No crickets, pretty lady. They've got a right to live too, just like you, me, Norman, and even Templeton." It's always worth reinforcing the Templeton part with Pixel.

Can't we keep Norman? He scared Templeton. That was funny, Joe. Wasn't that funny?

"David told me about Pixel's tendency to want to hunt crickets to extinction," Kate says, smiling. "Was she chased inside because she was being the fearsome hunter?"

"Apparently so, yes," Joe says, lifting her carefully off his feet and setting her onto a chair. "And no, Pixel, we can't keep Norman just to scare Templeton, no matter how funny you thought it was. Go look on Max's mat, I think he left a treat behind."

"Did she say how silly Max is feeling?" Kate asks, watching as Pixel bounds down onto the mat to eat a little piece of chicken.

"No, she didn't," Joe says, scraping the rest of the Chinese up off the floor and tossing it. "Pix? How's Max's tummy?"

Not so good, Joe. Not so good. He won't even drink from the hose. Pixel curls up on the mat and watches Kate and Norman a little jealously. She's the one who's supposed to be all curled up against Kate's chest! Her chest is so wonderfully comfortable compared to Joe or David's.

"Poor Max. He knows better than to eat that much people food. At least he's throwing it up now... less chance it'll come out the other end later," he murmurs, getting the bottle of vinegar and water and spraying it across the floor.

Pixel hisses at the spray bottle, then jumps up and pounces fiercely. Kate giggles as she watches, pointing. "Look at the silly little girl, Norman," she murmurs.

"Oh, Pix... it won't attack you, you know that," Joe teases, wiping the floor clean, then plopping down on his butt, encouraging her closer. "Crazy kitten."

She hisses again, swiping at the bottle.

Norman squirms his way out of Kate's arms and bounds down to the floor, approaching Joe and the spray bottle. He rubs his head against Joe's hand, then looks at Pixel, telling her silently that it's okay.

Pixel stares as though he's crazier than he looks, so Norman rubs up against Joe again, then sits down and waits for Pixel to come closer. She lets out a curious little mew and approaches cautiously.

"Would ya look at that," Kate murmurs.

"Brave little girl," Joe says, just as softly, letting Pixel smell Norman's scent off his hand, then drawing his hand back again, letting them figure this one out on their own.

Pixel looks curiously at Norman, then at the bottle, then at Joe. She's not at all sure what to do. And then Norman bats at the bottle with one paw, and it topples over. Pixel lets out a squeak and jumps backwards, and then Norman bats at the spray bottle again and again. See? Perfectly safe.

"Well. Now Norman's killed it, so it must be safe," Joe deadpans, somehow managing not to laugh.

Pixel mews again, then pounces on the spray bottle. All it does is skid across the floor, so she pounces on it again. Obviously she's deeply pleased with herself as she bats it toward Norman, and he bats it back to her.

"Well, would you look at that," says David from the doorway.

"Hey you," Joe looks up and smiles at David like the sun's just walked into the room... but in a human form. "Max doing better?"

"Yeah, a little bit. I've put him to bed in the laundry room and given him a little bit of medicine to settle his tummy. But he can get out through the cat flap if he needs to." He points at Pixel and the spray bottle. "Did... Norman, do that? Cure her of that irrational hatred?"

"Yep," Kate says, grinning. "Look how clever he is!"

"See? He's nothing to be afraid of at all," Joe says, getting up and wrapping his arms around David from behind, giving him a kiss on the neck. "He's even teaching our little Miss Pixel things."

"Will wonders never cease." David leans back against Joe. "Did you work your magic and call for pizza?"

"No, but I was just about to, wasn't I, Kate? We got distracted talking about cooking disasters."

"Many of which I have witnessed perpetrated by the two of you," David says. He laughs, then reaches for the phone and hands it back to Joe. "You know what I like, gorgeous."

"Yes I do, but there's a lady in the room," he teases, giving David another kiss on the neck, then walking out of the kitchen, dialling on the way.

"He loves you, you know," Kate says, getting to her feet.

"Yeah, I know," David replies, smiling.

"Did you see the look on his face when you came back into the kitchen? Like the sun had come out and all was right in his world." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "I'm so happy for you."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett, with (NPC) Kate Hewlett. Baby sister meets the boyfriend...

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:02:00 GMT

[Back in 2000. Not so very long after David moves in with Joe, David's sister Kate decides it's time to pay the boys a visit...]

David grabs Joe's arm. "There she is!" he says, pointing at the girl with the bushy, curly blond hair and the long skirt and flowy blouse, who breaks into a big smile and waves enthusiastically.

"She's got your smile," Joe says, butterflies doing a fearsome dance in his stomach. "Different hair though."

"I had blond curly hair when I was younger," David says. "I just didn't spend much time outside, and, well... it just kept getting darker." He drags Joe forward to meet Kate, and tugs her into a big hug after she drops her carry-on bag onto the floor.

"Look at you!" she exclaims. "You haven't changed a bit. Just the same as ever and I've missed you so much."

Joe lets them have their greeting, picking up Kate's bag and slinging it over his own shoulder.

Kate pulls back from David, then looks up at Joe, squinting a little at him. "Hm," she said.

"Hm?" Joe repeated, looking over at David. "I got a 'hm'. That's... is that bad?"

"I don't know," David admits. "Is 'hm' good or bad, Katie?"

"Kate," she corrects him, putting her hands on her hips. She squints up at Joe. "Well, he's taller than I figured."

"Taller. Okay, taller's a start," Joe says, looking between them. "Unless taller is bad?"

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Star Wars or Star Trek?"

Joe looks utterly deer-in-the-headlights. "There's a test? No one told me there was going to be a test!" He takes a deep breath. "Star Wars."

She doesn't smile, but she nods. "Very good," she says. "Let's go, David." She takes her brother's arm, casts a look at Joe, and lets David guide her through the terminal to the baggage claim. "He is cute," she says as they wait for her suitcase.

"Yeah," David agrees, "he kinda is."

"Standing right here behind you, being tall and liking Star Wars," Joe says, grinning good-naturedly.

"I know," Kate replies. She points. "That's my bag, Joe."

"Yes ma'am," Joe says, reaching down and lifting her bag up with a grunt. She packs like David does.

"Off to the car, then," David says, casting an apologetic glance at Joe. They stop to get Kate a cappuccino, then make their way to Joe's car.

Joe's blessing every run, bike ride, and trip to the gym he's ever made by the time they get there, since of course, he's too manly to stop and get a cart to carry her luggage on. Popping the trunk and hoisting her bags inside, he turns and smiles at both of them. "Home then? Need to make any stops on the way?"

"No, I expect that David's prepared something for me for lunch," Kate says, and promptly climbs into the front seat.

Joe looks over at David. "She is a lot like you. I take it I'm in the backseat?"

"Looks like," David says. "Sorry, gorgeous." He slips into the drivers seat.

He sighs and climbs into the back. His legs are a little long to be squished up back here, but this is David's sister, and he can suck it up.

"Mum expects the two of you to come visit for Thanksgiving this year," she says. "It's good that Canadian and American Thanksgivings are separate, so you can enjoy the holiday with both families. Christmas, however..."

"Uh oh. Sounds like we're already being scheduled," Joe says, although really, he found it pretty cute.

"Mum plans everything," David tells him. "It's... remarkable, really."

"I haven't gone home for Christmas in awhile. There's just too many animals to get a sitter for, really." Joe's not sure how they'll manage Thanksgiving, come to think of it.

"Oh, the animals," Kate says, smiling. "I can't wait to see them, especially Max."

"He's totally excited," Joe says. "I mean... he can tell, you know? That someone's coming. David's been cooking up a storm," he says proudly.

"And there's lasagne for dinner for tonight," David says.

Kate sighs. "Your lasagne is heaven. No one else's compares."

"What about Mum's?"

Kate doesn't really respond. She points at New York license plate.

"I think sometimes David just moved in so he could save me from myself and what I ate," Joe smiles.

Kate turns in her seat and looks at him. "So are you saying you think my brother doesn't actually love you?"

Again with the deer in the headlights. A flood of protests just about started pouring out of Joe before he stops and tilts his head to the side. "You're scary."

She grins brightly, then turns around again. "I know."

"David's not nearly that scary. Does it only run on the female side in your family?"

"Pretty much," David says. "I mean, it was just me and Dad and all these girls! We were outnumbered."

"Poor creatures... all alone against some clearly powerful beings," Joe says. "In response, now that my panic attack has stopped, no, I definitely don't doubt that your brother loves me. Not for a moment."

"You'd better not," Kate declares. "He's dated way too many losers. You're not a loser, are you, Joe?"

"No ma'am. I pay my taxes and everything," Joe assures her.

Kate giggles. "He called me ma'am."

"Still... sitting back here. Being tall and ... really cramped."

"Poor Joe," David says. "We'll be home in a while."

"Do you frequently complain about things?" Kate asks, turning again. "That's kind of annoying."

"I don't think I'm naturally complainey," Joe says, thinking about it for a moment or two. "No... just really used to talking out loud, I think."

"Hm," Kate says, squinting at him again.

"I got another 'hm'. That can't be good."

"We'll get through this, baby," David says. "I'm sure."

"You may be sure. I'm nervous." Joe was eyeing Kate nervously from the back seat again.

*

When they reach the house, Kate takes David's arm and marches him to the door, leaving Joe to get the bags again.

Joe practically falls out of the back seat of the car, then gets up and stretches, hoping the animals remember their discussion on Proper Behaviour In Front Of Guests. Loading up from the backseat, he heads for the door, following after Kate and David.

"Max!" Kate exclaims, dropping down to a crouch and letting him jump up to greet her. "Hey, buddy, you remember me, don't you? Oh, who's the best little boy in the world? I haven't seen you since you were just an itty bitty thing."

He's still itty-bitty. Templeton was lying on the bottom step, watching in utter boredom.

"Oh, you should talk," Joe mutters under his breath, giving Templeton a death glare.

Max is utterly beside himself. He doesn't remember Kate at all, since he had only been eight weeks old when she met him. But she's a new person, and she smells nice, and she has interesting hair, which he buries his nose in. His tail's going fast enough to power half of Chicago.

And Kate certainly doesn't mind at all, giving him lots of scritches, rubbing his sides. "Aren't you darling? Oh, look at him, David. He's the best dog ever."

"He's gonna be full of himself for a week after this," Joe says to David, setting Kate's bags down, then going over to him, one arm looping around David's waist. "Angel and Riley'll be jealous."

"Angel and Riley are the other dogs, right?" Kate looks up at David for her answer.

He nods. "And they're on their way here right now," he says, pointing as the two big dogs finally come to see what all the fuss is about.

"Angel, Riley," Joe says, pointing to each of the dogs in turn. "There's another... two out in the yard right now, but they're just waiting for me to find someone to adopt them, and getting properly socialized."

"What a hero you are," Kate says with a smile. "Hey, guys. Want to come say hi?"

They approach, tails wagging, and Kate scratches them both with one hand each. "Aren't you two sweet?"

Sure, if you're charmed by creatures that eat food off the floor. Templeton gets down off the stair and makes his way to the kitchen.

Sighing, Joe rolls his eyes as he points in Templeton's direction. "And that's Templeton. He's kind of a cranky bitch, so just ignore him."

"You just called your ferret a bitch," Kate says.

"Yes. Yes I did. Hungry? I had absolutely nothing to do with any of the food, so it's all totally safe to eat," Joe says, shifting topics. "I'll just carry your stuff up to the guest room and make sure no one lingers behind to check out what you've packed."

Kate smiles and gets up, taking David's arm. "Good idea," she says. "We'll meet you in the kitchen, Joseph."

As his sister drags him off to the kitchen, David looks back at Joe, apologetically.

"Joseph. Okay. So... is that good, or is that bad?" Joe mutters under his breath, lugging Kate's luggage up the stairs.

David gets their lunch ready, as Kate watches him. "He's kinda cute," she says.

"Yeah," he agrees, mixing the Caesar salad, "he kinda is."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes, Katie. I've told you that."

"Kate." She looks up as Joe comes into the kitchen. "We must be pretty special if we get chicken Caesar salad."

"He's been excited about you coming to visit us all week," Joe said, going to the fridge for drinks, since that was relatively safe. "Kate, what can I get you? There's beer, juice, water, milk... a couple different kinds of soda...."

"Water, please," she says.

"Water, easy enough," he nods, grabbing the Brita from the fridge and pouring a glass for her. "David, how about you?" he checks, grabbing a Coke for himself.

"Sprite," David replies, kissing his cheek before carrying their plates to the table.

"Do you two know just how much sugar's in that crap?" Kate asks.

Joe checks the side of the can. "Somewhere between 'some' and 'a lot'," he decides.

She shakes her head as they sit down at the table. "At least you like Star Wars."

"I think liking Star Wars was a prerequisite," Joe says, not even turning his head as he keeps speaking. "Templeton, if you so much as touch the leftover chicken, you're going to be the world's first flying ferret," he says conversationally.

I don't know what you're talking about. Templeton eventually finds his way under the table, eyeing Kate's feet.

"Sorry," Joe apologizes to Kate. "He's... well, I named him Templeton for a reason," he explains.

"The part where you call him a bitch?"

"That's part of it. He's also a complete pig and he'll eat just about anything if you turn your head long enough."

"Hm," Kate says.

Uh oh. They're back to 'hm' ing again. Joe shifts nervously in place, poking at his salad with his fork and looking across at David with 'help me' written across his forehead.

*

"Joseph."

It's like hearing his grandmother calling him, about to launch into a... something, except much less grandmotherly. He looks over at her and smiles, hoping that will help. "Uh huh?"

"I think you and I should take the dogs for a walk." Kate smiles sweetly at him. "David's making lasagne, and you know how polite he gets when he really doesn't want help..."

Oh yes. Joe knows that tone well. "Good point. David, do you need us to grab anything, or do you have everything you need?" he checks, trying to look cool and casual as he gets up and starts looking around for leashes and treats.

"Well, you can swing by one of the convenience stores nearby to get ice cream to go with the apple crumble," David says. "Otherwise, I'm fine."

"Sounds perfect," Joe smiles, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss, then calling the dogs. "Angel, Riley, Max, c'mon. Get the lead out!"

"Did I hear him mentioning apple crumble?" Kate asks as they head out of the house and she takes Max's leash from Joe.

"Oh, yeah," Joe confirms, holding both Angel and Riley's leashes in one hand. It's not like he really needs the leashes--they're mostly for show--but it makes people feel better when they see dogs the size of Riley and Angel. "I'm guessing it's a favourite for you too?"

"It certainly is," she says. "I'm always surprised at how good David is at cooking.'

"He spoils me," Joe admits. "Thank goodness I've got the dogs as an excuse for exercise. I can still remember the look of horror on his face when he went through my kitchen the first time."

"He's certainly not a gourmet," she says, "but he's just got his staples, and they're practically perfect. How long have you had a crush on him?"

Wow. That was a complete shift in conversation, and the change is so quick Joe almost gets whiplash. "Uh... I've known him for awhile at the vet clinic. He was bringing Fable before I was even working there, and then there was Max. And I was always... but I didn't think he was interested in guys. So it was kind of a 'from afar' thing."

"Wow. Your gaydar's kinda broken, huh?"

"Yeah," Joe admits immediately, scrubbing his free hand through his hair. "I think my bi gets in the way. That or I'm just better with animals than people. I miss a lot," he adds.

"Because, really, my brother's one of the gayest men I've ever met."

"Really, really better with animals than people," Joe emphasizes. After all, if it weren't for Max and Pixel, he might never have picked up on it. "Plus, somehow it just didn't come up while we were talking about Max's strange dietary tendencies, and yearly vaccinations."

"The poop-eating?"

"The poop-eating. David doesn't like it when I mention it," Joe says, giving Max a Look. "I think he gets embarrassed."

David's just fussy. Ooh, bird bird bird birdbirdbird--why do they always fly away? Max's tail droops.

"Aw, silly boy. The birds are afraid of you because you're bigger than they are," Kate says, gently.

Joe looks at her and tilts his head to the side. She's very perceptive... no. David would have told him if Kate could talk to animals. "Some day, someone'll give me a bird at the clinic, Max... one you can look at all you want."

Max looks back at him, wags his tail again, and then pushes ahead. "So what do you like best about my brother?" Kate asks.

He pauses to think about it, a ridiculously cute smile spreading across his face as he thinks about everything he likes about David. "He's sweet. That's... it sounds like a really weird word to use to describe a man, doesn't it? But he is. He's just about the sweetest person I've ever known. He cares about people, he cares about animals, and just being around him makes me happy... makes me want to be a better person."

Kate's quiet for a moment. "Really? I mean--my brother? Seriously?"

Joe knew he was blushing, but he was nodding before Kate had finished getting the question out. "I probably sound like a sentimental idiot, but yeah."

"Wow. No wonder he's so happy." She squints up at him. "I'm glad he's happy, you know. But if you hurt him, I'll come after you."

"Why do you think I'm so afraid of you? Not that I'm going to hurt him, but you're scary and I have no doubt that you'd carry through on any threats made."

She smiles brightly up at him. "Scary? Really? Aw, that's sweet!" She punches him in the arm.

"Um, ow!"

"Wimp," she says, linking her arm with his. "I think this is all going to work out just fine. Of course, you still have to meet our parents... if you think I'm scary, wait till you meet Mum."

"Okay, now you're really not helping!" Joe protests. "Angel, leave it. You've got sticks in the yard," he adds randomly when he realizes that Angel's been carrying a stick for two blocks.

But I don't have this stick!

It really is a very good stick. Riley tries to take it from him.

Get your own! You're so grabby.

"Aw, it'll be okay, Joe. I mean it. Dad'll like you right away, so that'll help."

"He will? That's good, I guess." And Joe means it too. He's just got too big a family himself to not worry about being landed in a kitchen full of women with a matriarch presiding over it. "Riley, Angel, quit it. You're gonna knock Max in the head."

"Looks like they think Max is just as big as the two of them."

"Well, Max tries to keep up with them," Joe sighs, shaking his head and finally taking the stick away.

You're no fun. Max watches the stick carefully.

"Of course he does. He's spirited," Kate says.

"Did you have a lot of animals in your place growing up?" Joe asks, holding onto the stick until he can find somewhere convenient to put it down.

"No," Kate admits. "Just usually one at a time. David went off to college, took Fable with him, and we got a puppy."

"Fable was beautiful. David was so brave for her, when the time came." Joe never handled putting animals to sleep well, but Fable had been hard on him.

"She was the best cat ever," Kate says, tears stinging her eyes a little bit. "I kind of wished I could have been there for him at the time, but I was in a show."

"I'm just glad he was willing to take Pixel. I think it helped. A new pet can't replace the one you've lost, but it does help."

"She's such a sweet little--augh, Max, no! That's wrong--leave it!"

Max looks up. But... but...

"Max... we've discussed this," Joe says sternly, lips twitching as he fought to keep from laughing. Kate's cry of disgust sounds just like David's did.

Max slinks away from the poo under the tree to walk close to Kate's feet again. Not. Fair.

"He still hasn't outgrown this habit?" Kate asks. "David hasn't mentioned it since Max was still a puppy."

"It embarrasses David," Joe explains. "He just can't believe he keeps doing it."

"What a silly boy," Kate says, bending down to scratch Max's ears. "Aren't ya? Awfully silly." She stands straight and squints up at Joe one more time. "David never gave me an answer--is he going to invite Justin over for dinner?"

"I think so, yeah... I think he just wanted you to himself first," Joe explains.

Kate giggles. "He thinks Justin's got a crush on me and it bothers him."

"Is he anywhere near as protective over you as you are over him?"

"Oh, more so. Much more so."

"Is it bad that I find that really adorable?"

"I certainly hope you think my brother's adorable."

"I think your brother is so adorable that it should give you sugar shock. But I think that him being protective over you is adorable too." Honestly, Joe thinks almost everything David does is adorable.

Kate smiles. "He kind of is. Kind of. But don't tell him I said that."

"Your secret is safe with me," Joe promises. "Should we head back? I think they've all done everything they're going to do, and Max has that look where he's clearly after dinner to wash down his appetizer."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. Dinner at Joe's place.

Sun, 25 May 2008 23:58:01 GMT

[Back in 2000.]

[Takes place not so long after Joe and David do... stuff. And... things.]

Joe doesn't exactly have a lot of company. Uh, ever. And it shows. He's been racing around the house for the last few hours trying to get things cleaned up, and he's been mocked almost the entire time. Even pointing out that it's not wise to taunt the person who goes out and brings the food home doesn't help. The cats just threatened to eat him.

David is nothing if not punctual. Or, well, perpetually early. It's six-twenty when he rings the doorbell, holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. He's scrubbed up nicely today, and he's nervous as hell.

Damn sweaty palms.

He knows that David's at the door before the doorbell even rings, because there's a sound like elephants galloping (do elephants gallop? Surely there's a better word. Stampede-that's the one) toward the door. "Guys, come on, give him a break!" he hollers, doing a good impersonation of an elephant himself as he comes down the stairs and opens the door, pushing dogs out of the way. "Come on in--just give them a shove if they won't move, they're harmless, I promise," he assures David.

"Oh, look at them. They're so happy to see me." David grins as he steps carefully into the hall. He thrusts the flowers at Joe. "Hi."

"Hi--you brought me flowers?" Joe looks like he's about to melt. "That's just... I'm going to have to lecture everyone in the house not to eat them so I can actually get to look at them for a few days. Angel, Riley, would you both just leave him alone?" Joe sounds mildly exasperated, but also not remotely surprised at the dogs behaviour.

"Angel and Riley?" David says, sounding amused. "Is Buffy around here somewhere?"

Joe points over David's shoulder at a tiny but bossy looking cat who's staring imperiously down at David. "Yup. I was on a bit of a kick there for awhile."

"That's adorable," David says. "So, um, the flowers aren't too much?"

"The flowers are perfect, and I love them," Joe assures him, leaning over and giving David a kiss on the cheek. Feeling strangely... well, not exactly gay, since that's obvious, but a little bit domestic, he clears his throat loudly and steps back, smiling at him. "So, yes, I should find something they can go in. And finish dinner."

"You're cooking for me? For real cooking, not something out of a package?" David teases lightly and follows Joe into the kitchen, Angel and Riley hot on their heels.

He's not very tall is he?

No. Not very tall at all. But he brings Joe presents, I guess that's something.

A little bit round in the middle.

So are you, Angel.

Am not!

"Well... that's really a matter of opinion, whether it counts as real cooking or not," Joe says, aiming a glare at the two dogs over David's shoulder. "There are packages involved, but I'm not just reheating something from the store. Angel, Riley, don't touch the flowers," he warns them, filling a vase and putting it on the counter.

He's got a dog. Smell his pants.

Cat too.

"Guys, guys, my knee isn't that interesting," David protests, laughing and gently urging the two dogs away.

Joe, why would you invite him but not his dog? We're nice. We'd be very friendly and even share.

Chase him around the backyard.

"So what are you making?" David asks as he comes around the counter to peer at the stove.

"They can smell Max and Pixel," Joe explains. "They're probably wondering why I didn't invite them to come and play with them. And... well... you said you grew up in Canada, right?" Joe says, looking a little shy as he tries to hide a covered pot.

"I should have brought them," David says. "I'm sorry I didn't." He peeks over Joe's shoulder, going up on his toes. "Are you making maple syrup?" he teases.

"No," Joe huffs, then lifts the lid off the top. "Kraft Dinner. The Canadian kind. Someone told me that the two are different, so... I got this one. And I should have suggested you bring Max and Pixel. They're always welcome, you know."

"You made me Kraft Dinner." David starts laughing helplessly, then leans up and gives Joe a kiss. "You romantic, you. My God, I haven't had that stuff since I went to visit my sister in Toronto two years ago."

"Well, I just hope I did it right," Joe says, poking at it with a spoon and looking a little nervous. "I had a few boxes shipped here, and it just seemed... it's not too dorky?"

"It's very dorky," David says, but he's smiling and he puts his arms around Joe's neck. "So dorky I think I'm going to kiss you again."

"Mmm... careful, don't want to get distracted," Joe murmurs, leaning in for the promised kiss. "I don't know what kind of shelf life this stuff has if it's ignored."

"I'm keeping a really close eye on it," David says, after another kiss.

"Yeah, I can really tell," Joe laughs, fighting the urge to push David up against the counter. Apparently kitchens were going to be a problem for the two of them in terms of making them get all interested in 'stuff'. "Templeton, leave David's cuffs alone."

David peers down. "You have a ferret."

Ooh, what a clever man. Is he going to point out what colour I am next?

Joe closes his eyes for a moment, resisting the urge to tell the ferret to shut up. "Templeton, meet David. David, that's Templeton. Don't worry, he won't actually go up your pant leg, but he likes chewing on cuffs."

"Hello, Templeton."

Ugh, he has a dog too?

We're standing right here. We can hear you.

Templeton sniffs disdainfully and starts making his way to the cat bed. Tell me if someone worthwhile shows up.

"Well, he's not overly enthusiastic, is he?" David peeks into the pot. "Dinner's just about ready."

"Buffy and Faith aren't going to be thrilled with you being in their bed," Joe warns him. "I think it is, actually. There's other stuff too... bread, and salad. I went kind of basic for dinner and splurged on dessert," he says, grinning.

"Mmm, dessert." David randomly opens a cupboard and finds bowls for the Kraft dinner. "So you've got Buffy, Faith, Angel, and Riley. How come you didn't go with, I don't know, Giles or Oz or something for the ferret?"

"Because he's a cranky, sarcastic, packrat of a ferret, who eats like a pig. Templeton just made sense for him," Joe explains, getting the salad out of the fridge.

"Oh. Well, that makes sense." David grabs plates for the salad. "You're spoiling me here, Joe."

"I made you Kraft dinner and lettuce with tomatoes and carrots. I don't really see how that's spoiling you," he laughs. "Beer, milk, water... Kool-Aid?"

David thinks about this. "Chocolate milk?" he asks, hopefully.

"Will you settle for regular milk and chocolate milk syrup? 'Cause I know I've got some of that," Joe says, reaching up into one of the cupboards and handing it over. "Is that what goes with Kraft Dinner?"

"Well, maybe if you're seven," David replies, grinning madly. "Or if you're feeling all nostalgic. I used to baby-sit my sisters, and I'd make them Kraft dinner with chocolate milk. Kate would put ketchup in hers." He takes the chocolate syrup. "Her Kraft dinner, not her milk."

"You know, I was just about to ask," Joe admits. "Do we need ketchup? I've got some, I think."

"I never liked Ketchup in mine," David says as he squeezes a rather liberal amount of the chocolate syrup into his milk.

"Then we can skip it. You're the native here, I'm treading on your national cuisine," Joe says, taking the syrup from David once he's done and pouring a glass of milk for himself.

"You make it sound almost exotic," David says, dryly. He kisses Joe's cheek, then starts to dish out the salad for both of them.

"Well, compared to what you were gonna get, it kind of is. I make a really mean call to the pizza delivery place."

"I already know that," David says, starting to carry things to the table.

"Also Chinese, Thai, Indian... there's a spaghetti place down the way that's really pretty good...."

"Joe," David says, despairingly. "I'm going to need to teach you how to make spaghetti?"

"No! I can make spaghetti!" Lies, lies, and dirty untruths.

Liar. That comes from both dogs, who are trying to be all discreet curled up under the table.

"Hush!" The admonition comes automatically, and Joe covers it by peering under the table. "Thought I wouldn't know you were under there, huh? No Kraft Dinner for you two--go find your beds."

The dogs retreat to their beds, Angel casting a look back at Joe on the way out of the kitchen.

Templeton lifts his head. Does this mean I get Kraft Dinner?

Joe just rolls his eyes and ignores the ferret. "Sorry. It really is a bit of a zoo around here. You haven't even seen everyone yet."

"Who's missing?" David asks, sitting down. "Two dogs, a cat--no, sorry, two cats--and a ferret. That's quite a bit."

"Another two cats who are mine, and... let me think for a minute. Up in the spare room I've got two cats who I'm rehabilitating who I'm hoping to find a home for, and two dogs in the backyard, who I'm hoping the same for," Joe lists off.

"Four cats?"

"If you're not counting the two in the spare bedroom, yeah. Four."

David smiles. "That's really sweet."

"Sweet is one word I've heard. Also insane, and 'a hissing madhouse'," Joe says wryly.

"I think it's wonderful that you care so much. Not enough people do."

"No, they don't. But," Joe says, pausing for a bite of macaroni, "sometimes I get lucky and people help me out. Adopt some of the others so that I don't end up with an utter houseful. Like you and Pixel."

"Y'know, one of my geeks has been talking about wanting to get a cat. Maybe you could stop by the store to meet him?"

"Really?" Joe perks up. "Yeah, I definitely could. I could bring by the two I've got, see if he clicks with either of them. And if not, people are always offering me kittens when their cats get knocked up."

David winces. "Don't you have the 'please spay or neuter your pets' chat with lots of people?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't help me out with the professional breeders whose husbands open the door because 'that damned cat wouldn't stop yowling," Joe says, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, God. I had a boyfriend in college who just... didn't understand Fable. If a couple can't be on the same page about animals, they just shouldn't. Big no. No, no, no. I learned that lesson so fast I'm sure the guy's head spun when I broke up with him."

"What do you mean he didn't understand her? Didn't understand why she was important to you?" Of course, understanding animals means something a little different when it's Joe, but still.

"Yeah. And he couldn't cope with her talking. She was a very vocal girl when she was hungry or wanted out and he'd just snap at her." David sighs. "I was young and dumb and only twenty-one."

"Hey, we all made some stupid decisions in our twenties. I dated a girl once who was so afraid of one of my dogs that she cried. She said it was going to attack her and knock her down and hurt her. It was a shi-tzu."

David almost chokes on a piece of celery. "Oh my God. Seriously?"

"Seriously. It was a very friendly shi-tzu too! Laid back, quiet, never jumped, barely even barked. She walked in the door and burst into tears," Joe rolls his eyes. "I've... actually, I've had a lot of people break up with me because of the animals. Because of my job."

David reaches across the table and covers Joe's hand with his. "I'm sorry. I had a few boyfriends who didn't get my job, either. There's a select few customers who are allowed to call me at home and that hasn't sat well with a few guys."

"Well, in your business, I'd guess unexpected calls at unexpected times sometimes happen, huh? For me too, obviously." Joe turns his hand over and gives David's a squeeze. "If someone's show cat is in labour and having trouble and needs a C-section, I'm coming in. Emergencies, traumas... I work with a few other people, obviously, but we all take our turn being on call."

"Yeah, that sounds very slightly familiar. Obviously somebody's laptop isn't quite the same as somebody's cocker spaniel, but..." David frowns a little and looks down. "I really admire what you wanted to do. I remember when I was little, for a while, I wanted to be a vet. And then one day it just hit me that I'd have to put people’s beloved pets to sleep and..."

"Yeah, I know. That absolutely never gets easier for me, no matter how many times I've done it," Joe admits, eating one handed so he can keep holding David's hand. "But at least I can try and make it easier, both for the person, and for the animal. It's quiet, and it's peaceful. You know, most of the time, the animal is more worried about the person than themselves?" he confides.

David tilts his head a little and smiles sadly. "I can sort of imagine that. I, uh, I sometimes wonder if it was my selfishness with Fable--not wanting to let her go--that caused her to suffer. Or if it was that she was hanging on just for me."

"You know... I wouldn't worry about it as much as you are," Joe offers. "She was hanging on for you, I think. There's a bit of a look they get. But the pain she was in... she hadn't been in that kind of pain long. You would have known. It comes on quickly for them sometimes. You didn't make her suffer."

David blinks rapidly a few times, rubs at his nose, and looks down at his near-empty bowl.

"You, uh... we need more," Joe decides, getting up and going to find the pot of macaroni, giving David a moment. But pausing on the way over there to squeeze his shoulder.

David's a little embarrassed for a moment, but he smiles when Joe comes back. "It's like you know what they're thinking. You've got a remarkable gift."

That's one way of putting it. "Ah, I'm... you know, it's just being perceptive," he says, brushing it off and giving them both some more Kraft Dinner. "You get to know what certain looks and things mean. Especially when you spend all day with animals."

"Yeah, I guess you would, huh?" David digs in to the rest of his dinner. "You've done a good job here. Almost just like my mum's."

"Almost like your mum's... that's a compliment, right? Because I love her, but my mom's macaroni was nothing like this. You could lay bricks with it."

"That's a compliment. She could cook up a great pasta," David says. "And I'll teach you how to make spaghetti, which will be like my mum's, 'cause I make spaghetti almost as good as my mum does. She doesn't really have a recipe for her sauce, it's all just instinct, and mine's not quite as finely tuned as hers."

"The only thing I make by instinct is toast," Joe admits. "I'm really good at getting it exactly as cooked as I want to though."

"Ooh, I wish I could do that. I'm really fussy about how dark I like stuff cooked." And David can't get the toaster to co-operate. He never has.

"Then we've got a pretty good match, don't you think? I do the toast, and you cook everything else," Joe grins at him.

"Ah, ah. I'm gonna teach you how to cook first. And if that fails, well, you can do the cleaning." As if they're moving in already. David turns a bit red. Okay, more than a bit. He's red like he just stepped out of the shower.

Joe looks at David, takes in the blush, and smiles, reaching his foot out and poking David's. Just letting him know that it's okay. And more? He didn't mind the assumption.

David peeks up shyly, then smiles back at him.

"I have brownies," Joe offers, poking him with his foot again. "And ice cream. And jellybeans for on top."

"Brownies, ice cream, and jellybeans? Are you expecting me to be able to move?"

"How about if I promise you won't have to move far?"

"Fair enough."

*

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. There you are. Part 1/2

Sat, 24 May 2008 05:48:04 GMT

[Back in 2000.]

[The same day that Pixel has a vet appointment and spills some beans.]

Joe! Joe! Joe! Joe! Max bounces around the front hall as Joe comes into the house. You brought treats! Are those treats I can have? Or are they people treats? It doesn't matter to me!

Just like last time, Joe's walking inside David's house, and just like last time, he'd fought a losing battle with his hair. Unlike last time, he doesn't have cookies, but he had managed to find both a bottle of wine and a six-pack of beer, not to mention a few DVDs.

None with animals in them. He tends to laugh inappropriately at the comments from the animal actors.

"Hey there, Max--I missed you today! There might just be treats in my pocket... you'll find out once my hands are free."

"Joe! Hi there." David's got a dish towel over his shoulder as he comes into the hall from the kitchen. He seems to not realise it's there right away, and when he does, he drags it quickly off his shoulder and tries to hide it behind his back.

"Hi--I've got beer, wine, and DVD's, so... here," Joe says, holding them out to David. "Anything's good for me."

"Wow. That's--thanks. A lot." David takes them and smiles brightly. "This is very thoughtful of you. I've got lasagne cooking. I hope you like lasagne?"

I've never seen David move so fast in such a short period of time! He's done dishes and he vacuumed a bit and he cooked. He must REALLY like you, Joe!

"I love lasagne--really, you didn't have to go to all the trouble," Joe says, dropping down to Max's level and giving him treats. A few of them.

"It wasn't any trouble at all," David says. "Really. I make lasagne all the time."

He's a terrible liar, isn't he? Max licks Joe's face enthusiastically.

Joe snorts very softly, giving Max a good ruffle about the ears. "Well, your breath is better, so there's that at least," he says, standing up again. "It smells wonderful. Can I do anything to help?"

"There's nothing to do, really. Everything's cooking. Come in and sit." David leads the way into the kitchen, stepping swiftly over Pixel as she deigns to get up to come and see Joe.

He reaches down and scoops the small kitten into his arms as he follows David into the kitchen. "Any reaction to the shot at all, or is she okay?"

"Her hip's a bit tender, but she's a tough girl and wouldn't possibly admit it. She had a power nap just until she heard Max reacting to you coming in."

"Yeah, I bet she did. Not that Max makes noise or anything when someone comes to visit, does he?" Joe laughs, still holding on to Pixel. "You sure you don't need help setting the table or anything?"

"But you're a guest," David protests. He doesn't want to talk about Max's embarrassing displays when they have company--the one behaviour that he's never been able to train out of him.

"And you're making me dinner. It's only fair," Joe points out, setting Pixel down and heading over to the cupboard, guessing where the plates might be and getting it right on the second try.

Joe! Can I help, Joe? Let me help!

"Max, on your mat. Now." David points imperiously.

Max's tail droops a little and he goes to sit. Fine. Pixel goes to sit with him to keep him company.

"He's pretty well trained, even if he gets terribly offended about being sent there," Joe says, looking impressed as he starts setting the table. "Too bad there's not much a dog can do to help you set the table."

I wanna help.

"He always wants to help with everything. You should see him when I vacuum."

I'm gonna catch that thing one day.

"Not a big fan of the vacuum, is he?" Joe gives Max a sympathetic look. "You could get hardwood. Wrap polishing cloths around his feet and throw a ball."

Don't say the b-word! Pixel looks adoringly up at Max to get him to stay put.

"That's... that's a really interesting idea. I might have to look into that." David pulls down a couple of wine glasses and takes them to the table.

"If you're getting wine glasses, I should probably open the wine," Joe says, with an apologetic look to Pixel. Finding a corkscrew, he starts attacking the wine bottle with it. Trying to figure out what to do next.

"Joe, Joe, Joe," David says, gently but obviously trying not to laugh. "You have to be gentle. A guy would think you'd never opened a wine bottle before." He steps up next to Joe and gently takes the corkscrew from him, carefully opening the bottle.

"I'm sorry, I'm... not very good with wine bottles," Joe admits, more than a little sheepish as he watches David take over. "I like wine, but I usually end up swallowing a lot of cork."

David laughs softly and pours some wine for both of them. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard," he says, then turns bright red and mumbles something about garlic bread.

Cute. He thinks I'm cute. The dog and the cat are right! Joe looks a little triumphant as he reaches for his wine glass and takes a sip. Maybe a bigger one than he should have, judging by the way he starts coughing.

David turns around again quickly. "Are you all right?"

"Sorry, I... drink... to fast... wine in nose." That's more or less what Joe's able to get out between coughs.

"Joe..." David gets him a glass of water, then steps up next to him and rubs his back.

Okay, now this is nice, although it would be a lot nicer if he wasn't coughing his guts out, his eyes weren't tearing up, and there wasn't a distinct presence of Merlot in his sinuses. A few long moments and a sip or two of water later, and he's got himself mostly calmed down, bringing his hand up to wipe at his eyes. "Well. That was classy."

David smiles up at him. "We all choke once in a while." His hand is still moving on Joe's back. "We went back to England for a cousin's wedding last year--me, Kate, my parents--and right in the middle of the best man's speech, I forgot how to swallow."

"Oh dear... not exactly the best timing," Joe says, his voice still sounding a little rough. And no, he didn't just lean a little into David's hand. Except yes, he did. "I've never been to England."

"I was born there," David says. "Still have lots of family across the pond."

"I didn't know that. It must be nice, getting to go and visit like that," Joe says, taking another sip of water, then setting the glass down.

"Well, I don't really get to go and visit much," David admits, stepping away and finally getting around to that garlic bread. "Can't really afford it, exactly."

"I've never seen your shop. You said... something about geeks? Did I hear that right?"

"Geek shop," David says, glancing shyly over his shoulder. "I'm founding geek. We build and repair computers."

"Wow. One of these days, I might have to stop in. I had a computer, but then there was an accident involving a cat that ate cheetoes and, well... it stopped working. Apparently using soap and water to try and clean it was a bad idea," Joe winces at the memory.

David looks horrified. "Tell me you're joking."

"Um."

"Oh. Oh dear."

"So, yeah. It makes a decent paperweight, but not much of a laptop. I'll stop by sometime... maybe look at something new," Joe says, looking thoughtful.

"I'm sure I could put something together for you," David says. He turns a bit pink and goes back to the garlic bread.

"So when you say you build computers, you mean you really build them? They don't just come pre-made at Wal-Mart?"

"Nope, we get all the pieces from suppliers and put them together. We can completely custom build a system for somebody."

"Wow." Joe looks truly impressed. "Wow, I really didn't know that's how it works. Of course, I'd have no idea what I'd want built other than... shiny?"

"You want a shiny computer? We can polish one up for you." David grins.

"I'm probably the worst example of what kind of people walk into your door. You know that joke about the guy using the CD tray as a coffee holder? I didn't get what the problem was until it was explained to me by one of my techs. Twice." Sadly, Joe isn't kidding.

"Oh, that's... that's very sad," David says. He puts a baking sheet into the oven, then reaches for his wine again. "I could probably give you some private lessons."

Subtle, isn't he? Max is lying with his nose on his paws and Pixel on his back.

Max really needs to stop doing that when Joe's about to take a drink. Fortunately, this time, he's just shy of having wine in his mouth, so it only requires him to clear his throat loudly to keep the laugh back. "I... you know, I might just hit you up for that."

"Well, good." David smiles. He peers at the clock. "We can eat in ten minutes."

"Good. That's good too." A pause, interrupted by Joe taking another sip of wine. "One of these times, maybe you should come to my place. I mean, you're not allergic to cats or dogs, so you'd be fine."

"Yeah, I can do that. Definitely."

Max sits up and runs forward to look imploringly up at Joe. You're not going to come see me anymore?

Big furry lump! Pixel is very offended to have been dropped to the mat as Max gets up, and she yowls as though she's been kicked. David rushes over to her. "Max! Be careful with the baby."

"Oh now, Max," Joe says, going over to him and dropping down to pet him, once he sees that Pixel's all right. "You know I won't forget you," he murmurs, nice and low, just for Max, as he ruffles him up lots. "You don't have to knock Pix flying."

You'll keep coming to see me? You promise? You can't only pay attention to David. Promise?

"Promise," Joe murmurs again, then kisses the top of his head. "Pixel ruffled but okay?" he asks David.

"Very ruffled, but she's just fine. She's springy." David rubs a hand down her back then sets her down again. "Okay, you two. Time for those of us who can see over the counters to have dinner. On your mat."

Max licks up the side of Joe's face before he goes to settle down on his mat again. Pixel curls up in a tight little ball as far away from him as possible.

"Hell hath no fury," David says, shaking his head as he heads back to the oven.

"Oh yeah. She'll forgive him once she can make it seem like it's her idea," Joe smiles, wiping at his face and heading for the table, grabbing the bottle of wine and bringing it with him on the way. "Okay, it smelled good before, it's been upgraded to amazing."

David dishes out their dinner and brings it to the table. "Thanks," he says. "I really hope you like it."

"I don't really cook, so... wow. Okay, wow." Joe hasn't even tasted it, yet, but just the look and smell of it is making him monosyllabic.

"I don't really either," David says. He pushes a napkin toward Joe, and shrugs a little. "Dig in, dig in."

He cooks a lot. He likes cooking. And sometimes he shares it with me. Pixel's too little for people food.

Am not.

Are too.

Am not!

Are too!

Joe hides a smile behind his wine glass. "Well, I'm sure whatever we don't eat, Max will try and score some of the leftovers. This is amazing, really," he says, after a bite.

"Really?" David hasn't touched his and he looks very anxious.

Joe looks up at him, mouth full, eyes expressing disbelief that David need even ask the question.

"I guess that's a yes." David looks relieved and joyful and he still hasn't touched his own dinner.

"Yes. God, it's a yes. Eat, please, you're making me feel guilty, and if you don't, I might steal your plate," Joe threatens.

"Oh, don't you dare," David says, laughing. A few minutes of silent eating later, he adds, "Oh, and I stopped and got some ice cream for dessert. Ben and Jerry's. Cherry Garcia."

"You stopped and got ice cream for dessert, and you managed to make something like this?" And vacuum and do dishes, but he doesn't say that part aloud. "You're a fast worker."

"I, ah--" David looks very embarrassed. "Okay, okay, I bought the ice cream this morning when I went out to get that loaf of bread. It was on sale!"

Joe can't help it--that gets him laughing. "Hey, anyone who can think of dessert at breakfast time has my vote."

David looks embarrassed again. "I always think of dessert." His waistline speaks to that. He wonders if Joe thinks he's too chubby.

"I usually forget until I really really want it, at which point there's no ice cream in the fridge, at which point I end up going on a late night grocery run, and my hair is all over the place." Joe wonders if David thinks his hair is stupid.

David laughs softly. "I generally have that problem when I'm out of milk."

"I think everyone has that problem when they're out of milk. I'm usually not awake when I use the milk, so I put the empty container back in the fridge, then swear the next morning and put it back again. I think I went three days in a row like that once."

"I have a bad habit of putting my breakfast plates in the fridge when I'm half-asleep," David says. "And coffee filters in the dishwasher."

"That could be really messy if you didn't catch it before you turned it on," Joe winces.

"I've been very, very lucky." David tears the last piece of garlic bread in half and hands one half to Joe and takes the other for himself.

Joe nods in thanks, taking an immediate bite of the bread. "Heaven. Seriously," he says, blushing a little since his mouth is full.

David smiles quite bashfully. "Well, thanks. I'm really glad you like it."

Joe looks blissful swiping the bread around in the leftover sauce to make sure he doesn't miss any. "I'd ask for the recipe, but there's no way I could make this."

"Maybe I won't just teach you how to work a computer--I should give you some cooking lessons."

"I think it's possible that I might be beyond hope," Joe sighs, standing up and starting to collect the dishes.

"Do you have someone who can keep you well-fed?" David gets to his feet and tries to help Joe with the dishes.

He swats at David. "The guy who cooks doesn't do dishes. It's like a law. And, well... the local Dominos pizza delivery kid does a decent job of keeping me well fed."

"Joe," David says, despairingly.

"What! I do okay, don't I?" Joe turned to face David and struck a bit of a pose, which was marred by the fact that he was holding a plate in each hand.

David gives him an up-and-down look, biting his lip to keep from laughing. Or blushing. Or jumping him. Or something. "Yes, yes, you do okay."

"Well there we go then," Joe says, nodding firmly, and starting to load the dishwasher. "At least I make sure my animals eat well. That's a start, I suppose. And my vet tech yells at me if she catches me eating anything that comes out of a box and can be cooked in the microwave."

David winces. "Joe, Joe, Joe..."

"I'm going to start finding care packages on my doorstep, aren't I?"

David gives him a wide-eyed innocent look.

"I'm gonna start finding care packages on my doorstep, oh yeah." Joe sighs dramatically, grinning as he keeps loading the dishwasher, heading back to the table to grab more stuff.

"No, no, the big dishes have to go in front," David says, hurrying forward to start rearranging the dishwasher.

"Sorry... I didn't know there was a system," Joe says, both apologetic and rather amused as he watches David start shuffling things around. "Cutlery goes up or goes down?"

"Knives down, everything else up," David says. "The big knives go in that little basket up top." He stands straight and turns around, only to bump into Joe. "Oh. Uh, hi."

"I...hey. No, it's... uh, it's okay." Joe takes a bit of a step back, then ducks around David and deposits the cutlery as instructed. "Okay, that's better."

"Yeah," David says. "Thanks. Um. So, uh, ice cream?"

"Yeah, I... yeah. Or... maybe after the lasagne's had a chance to settle?" he offers. "There's still wine. And DVDs. We could... do wine? And DVDs?"

"Wine and DVDs, yeah," David says. "Sure. Let dinner digest some."

"Okay. The bottle's open, so it's probably safe if I refill our glasses. Do you want to pick something?" Joe says, backing up again and heading for the wine bottle.

"A movie? Yeah, I can... I can do that."

Max gets up off his mat and dashes across the kitchen. David, on his way to look at the DVDs, sees him too late and trips and catches himself on a chair. "Max! Geez..."

"Max... what's the matter, man, you don't have to trip David." Joe turns and laughs. "You can come sit with us."

Max barks and dashes into the dark living room. Pixel, for her part, gets up slowly--very slowly--and stretches just as slowly before she follows after him.

David shakes his head. "He acts like such a goof when you're involved," he says, grinning. "You'd think he has a crush on you."

Close... but apparently not quite. "Well, animals just like me," Joe says, shrugging it off and giving David a charming smile, heading over to him and giving David back his glass of wine, standing just a little bit inside what would be considered David's space.

David looks at him and takes the glass, his fingers lingering a moment on Joe's. "I can't say as I blame them."

Do it. Do it, do it, do it, you know he likes you, the cat and the dog told you, he just touched your fingers, stop being such a chicken! The voice in the back of his head sounds eerily like Pixel's. Joe actually looks down to make sure he's not getting coaching from the kitten, then back up at David again, licking his own lips. "I... yeah?" is what he actually says, although he does lean in a little bit closer.

"Yeah," David says, quietly. "Can't blame them at all. You're... you're... there you are." There you are? What? Good God, man.

Setting down his wine, Joe takes that one little step closer and takes David's wine out of his hand, moving right in front of him. "I'm where? Here?" he murmurs, eyes focused on David's mouth.

"Right... right there," David says, swallowing hard. "Just--ah..."

"How 'bout right here." It's cheesy. It's horribly cheesy, and maybe sometime they'll laugh about that, but right now, he just sees it as the perfect opportunity to lean in and plant a soft kiss right on David's mouth.

After a little gasp, David leans in for another kiss. He isn't touching Joe; he doesn't dare. But he does want that second kiss, right now, especially with Joe being, well, right there.

David didn't pull away. David wants another kiss. Dear god, the animals were right. Armed with that knowledge, Joe does reach out to touch David, sliding his hand down his arm and moving so that he's just about pressed up against him, barely as much as an inch between them.

Ohmygod. Oh my god. David puts his own hand on Joe's arm in return. He leans into the kiss, for a moment, then has to stop to breathe because he's pretty sure he's suffocating.

"I... is this... this is okay, right?" Joe leans his head against David's forehead, trying to hide the fact that he's actually trembling.

"Yeah, it's... it's okay." David laughs breathlessly, his fingers tightening on Joe's arm. "I've been wanting to kiss you since you took over the practice."

That long? Fable obviously had more of a taste for discretion than Max does. "Wow. Really? I didn't... wow." Joe tries to take that in, licking his lips and tasting David on them.

David goes pink. "Yeah. Really. Of course, if the animals could talk you'd have known sooner."

Ohdeargod, if you only knew. "Yeah? I would, huh?" Joe says, his other arm managing to creep its way around David's waist.

It's really warm in the kitchen all of a sudden. David nods. "You would." He lifts his free hand to lightly touch Joe's hair.

"Careful... it's dangerous up there. Remember, Pixel almost got lost," Joe warns him, taking the opportunity to sneak another kiss.

"Don't care." David's fingers sink in. "Wow," he mumbles against Joe's mouth. "It's... soft."

"Ohgod..." Joe embarrasses himself by moaning when David touches his hair. "Yeah, I... if I don't use conditioner, it's even worse, if you can believe that."

"I just thought... I mean, it feels like you don't put anything in it at all. It's really nice." Nice? Oh lord.

Nice! He thinks my hair is nice! Oh my god! "Thank you--that's... I have no idea why we're still standing in the kitchen," Joe blurts out.

"We were kissing," David says, softly, fingers still playing with Joe's hair.

"No, I knew that part, I just..." Joe can either embarrass himself further, or kiss David again. Kissing David again wins.

Joe's kissing him again. David moans a little bit against his mouth and presses as close as he can.

And with just a little bit of a shift to the right and a step back, Joe's able to push David right up against the edge of the counter, groaning softly into the next kiss and letting his hands slide up his back nice and slow.

Oh. David tangles his fingers in Joe's hair. This can't be real--it can't, but there's the counter, and that's Joe, and he tastes like wine, and he's right there.

"You taste good," Joe whispers the next time he has to break away long enough to breathe, although he's careful not to move his lips away from David’s.

"You're just saying that because you liked dinner," David teases, gently.

"Yes, but that doesn't make it any less true," Joe grins back at him, shifting a little and happening to glance behind David, doing a double take and giving a bit of an unmanly yelp.

"What? What is it?" David turns and sees two little faces peering at them from over the ledge of the pass-through between the kitchen and the den. "Voyeurs!"

Joe puts one hand to his chest like he's just been scared half to death. "I beg your pardon, you two, don't you have something better to do than to watch us? Plus, Pixel, you're too little to watch this."

Both animals suddenly vanish from view.

David laughs helplessly and rests his forehead against Joe's shoulder. "Oh, geez."

"Oh, life with pets. Do they usually hang around and watch?" Joe groans, both arms nice and wrapped around David's shoulders.

"No, no, they don't. I'm not sure what's got into them." David wraps his arms around Joe's back. "I'm so sorry about their behaviour."

"They like you. They just want to make sure that you're okay," Joe assures him. "Don't worry about it. Believe me, I'm used to it." Most of Joe's life is accompanied by an animal commentary track.

David lightly strokes Joe's cheek. "I guess that's something," he says, then gives him another quick kiss. "Maybe if we're really quiet we can sneak into another room and, ah..."

"I'd like that. I'd... yeah, I'd definitely like that," Joe says, nodding quickly, not quite meeting David's eyes because dear God, was this really happening? Had he managed to not screw it up?

"Really?"

Joe just about laughs, then nods again pressing a little closer to David's body. If nothing else, there's ample evidence to convince him that's he's interested pressing right against David's hip. "Really."

"Oh, I. Oh. Well. I can. We can. It's..."

He kisses David again, really lingering over it this time. "Which way?" he whispers.

"To my bedroom?" David's voice is distressingly squeaky.

"Bathroom, living room, garage, I don't care, so long as I can lie down before my knees just completely give out," Joe says, laughing at himself.

"Down the other hallway past the front door," David says. He's very, very thankful for the bungalow now--stairs wouldn't be good right now.

Slowly--reluctantly--Joe pulls back away from David and reaches for his hand. "So take me there."

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. More dirt from Pixel.

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:38:44 GMT

[back in 2000.]

[Follows not all that long after David has Joe over for pizza.]

"Hey there!" Joe comes out into the waiting room to greet David and Pixel, giving them both a huge warm smile. "Back again... and look how big you're getting!" he says, tapping Pixel gently on the nose.

I'm growing up so fast I'm gonna be as big as Max soon. Pixel is proud of herself.

"I can't quite keep up with her," David says as he gets to his feet. "It seems like just yesterday she was tiny enough to sleep in my hands."

"And now she's acting like she's on pace to be Max-sized," Joe laughs, winking at Pixel. "Come on back, this one's easy."

Do I get more treats today?

"I told Pix that you might have a treat for her," David admits, a bit sheepishly. "She didn't seem too keen on getting into her carrier today.”

"Of course I have treats for you, Pixel," Joe says, carefully taking her out of David's arms and standing her on the exam table. "Just let me check you out a little bit, then they're all yours."

But no more shots today, thank you. Just pats and treats.

"She's doing wonderfully," David says, standing back just a little and watching Joe's hands. "She and Max are absolutely inseparable. His nose is very out of joint that I've taken her away for a while without him."

Joe's not sure he should tell Pixel that any promises for no shots would be a lie, so he avoids saying anything at all. "I should have told you that you could bring Max along, if that made it easier. I'll send you home with a few treats for him to make it up to him." Joe smiles, carefully moving his hands along Pixel's body to examine her, murmuring praise in her direction when she stays more or less still for it.

"Aw, thanks, Joe. I'm sure he'll appreciate that. Hey, um." David pauses, swallows, and looks down at the surface of the exam table. "I think he misses you. Maybe we could get another pizza sometime."

"Yeah?" Joe smiles, suddenly wondering if it was just Max that missed him, or if it was maybe more, or if he was reading too much into things, and hey, there went Pixel trying to escape the table. "No, no, no, you come back here, little miss, I need to listen to your heart," he tells her, adjusting his stethoscope so he can do just that. "I'd like that, actually. I've... I've missed him too." Oh god, that was lame.

David's smile could light up the room. "Really? That's great. We--he'll--he'll be thrilled when I tell him you're coming to see him and you're not going to poke him with a needle."

I thought you were done. You were paying more attention to David than to me anyway.

"Yeah, he likes it a lot better when he's not the one on the exam table. Not that I don't make house calls, but..." He clears his throat and gives Pixel a bit of a nuzzle. "I'm almost done, cutie. Your heart sounds great, you're putting on just the right amount of weight... but you need your booster shot still, sorry about that." Fortunately, he's had the foresight of preparing it in advance, so before Pixel can protest or object, he's already giving her the vaccination.

Oh, you OWE me for this. She huffs and moves away from him as soon as she can, giving big moony eyes up at David.

He laughs at her. "Was Joe mean to you, Pix?"

"Yeah, I just lost my spot on her list of favourite people, for sure," Joe says, managing not to laugh as he disposes of the syringe and comes back over to Pixel, crouching in front of her and offering her a treat. "Come on... forgive me?"

She sniffs at the treat and then eventually deigns to eat it. Fine. But only because MY David has a crush on you. Max said so.

"Aw, look. You're friends again, how sweet."

Damn it, he's blushing. Maybe he can blame it on the head rush from leaning over. Or the lights. Or... something. "You know, you're actually my last patients of the day," he says, clearing his throat and looking at Pixel, not David. "Or is that too short notice?"

Are there more treats in it for me?

"Oh!" David looks delighted, then nervous, then delighted all over again. "Well, sure. Maybe we could, I don't know, rent a movie or something?"

Keep giving him stuff like David having a crush on him, and Joe'll stuff her full of treats until her belly's sticking out on both sides. Slipping her another one and leaning down for a nuzzle, Joe finally turns around and smiles at him. "That sounds great. I should probably stop home... feed the menagerie, wash the antiseptic smell off, but... I could come by after. An hour, maybe?"

"Sure," David says, quickly. "Sure, that'd be great. Give me a bit of time to clean up after the little ones, too."

"Yeah, that works... so... an hour? Or longer? Or are you sure it's not too little notice?"

"It's not too little notice," David says, quickly. "Really. Max will be so pleased to see you. And--and, of course, I like your company too."

A lot. He wouldn't stop talking about you after you left last time.

Very useful information. Not blushing at all. Joe clears his throat and smiles at David again. "Then... I think we have a plan. Okay, Miss Pixel, you're all done. No more shots for a good long time now."

Do you promise?

*

Joe Flanigan and David Hewlett. Pixel.

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 02:59:30 GMT

[Back in 2000.]

[Takes place a week or so after this]

Joe! Joe! Joe! Look at my new collar! I've got a new collar!

"Hey, there, Max! Is that a new collar you've got there? It really suits you," Joe says as the sheltie bounds toward him, dropping down nice and low so he can ruffle Max's fur and give him some attention.

Max gets right up on his hind legs to put his front paws on Joe's shoulders. David gave it to me! He's so nice, isn't he? He gives me all sorts of things all the time. He misses Fable. Me too. I haven't seen you in ages and ages!

David winces. "Max, off. Doctor Joe doesn't need your breath in his face."

Max ignores him.

"Yeah, I bet he does," Joe says, nice and soft, giving Max a couple of extra scritches behind the ears. "Your breath is getting a little bit special though. I might need to check your teeth, and I've got some dentabones for David to give you that should help with that."

Bones? Bones! Max obediently gets off Joe now, runs in a little circle, then stops in front of David so he can be lifted up onto the table.

"Special isn't half of it when he wants to sleep on me," David says with a wry little grin as he lifts Max up onto the exam table.

He's comfy, Joe! My David's great to snuggle with.

"Well, I imagine he finds you comfortable," Joe says, managing to keep a straight face as he starts Max's examination. "How's he been doing lately? Anything unusual... eating and drinking normally? Staying out of trouble?"

"He's wonderful, though he's taken to wanting to eat other dogs' poop when we go for our walks. Mum and Dad had that trouble with their boxers for years and I was really hoping Max and I could avoid that."

Max manages to look sheepish. I've got a new collar, Joe.

"And, see, he knows it's wrong, too."

"Eating other dogs' poop, is it, Max?" Joe ruffles his fur a little bit, hands moving quickly over the dog's body as he checks him over. "It could be just a stage. Or he might just think it's really really yummy. Hard to tell."

"Oh, no, you had to say that." David pulls a face. "But otherwise, he's great." He smiles as he watches Max wag his tail enthusiastically for Joe--he's always liked the way Joe talks to his animals, almost like they're people. He's sure it makes Max feel better, and that it made Fable feel better. "Eating well, he's starting to calm a little more, drinking lots, and we're getting plenty of exercise."

David took me to work a few days ago! I had fun! He bought me a new ball.

"Good, he can use it. Make sure to watch that you don't work him too hard, or for too long at a time, but as long as you're breaking it up into smaller walks, he should be good. Does he spend a lot of time with you? Get plenty spoiled?" Joe says, teasing Max just a little bit.

I spend all sorts of time with him! He's very spoiled, you know.

"Yeah--sometimes he really doesn't know when to stop. So I've got to make sure he does. And I think since Fable's gone, I'm kind of overdoing it a little with Max, but he seems to enjoy it. We've only got each other now."

"And he'd want to make sure you're all right too. Animals are very attuned to our senses. They can smell our emotional states," Joe says. "So just the vaccination then, and we'll be about done," he warns Max, just before he uncaps the syringe and injects him in the meaty part of his thigh.

Jooooe! Why've you gotta do that? I don't like the needles.

"You're my very brave boy," David says, rubbing a hand down Max's back.

"I know, I know, I know you don't like that," Joe soothes, discarding the needle, then going back to petting Max again. "I promise, I wouldn't if I didn't have to. We need to keep you healthy so you can keep taking care of David, right?"

Max's tail starts wagging again and he jumps up with his paws on Joe's chest again. He gives him a broad lick over the mouth. All's forgiven.

"Oh, Max, your breath," David says, looking horribly embarrassed. "Off, bud. Off."

Max glances over his shoulder at David, then looks up at Joe again. He's so uptight sometimes.

Joe just barely manages to hold back a snort. "Just a little," he murmurs, clearing his throat and washing his hands. "I think that does it for Max here... I just... look, I've got... there's..." He trails off and sighs. "Hell. I've got something to show you, if you've got a minute."

"Sure, I've got some time to spare," David says, immediately curious.

"Right--thanks. I'll be right back," Joe says, looking nervous as he heads for the door, leaving it just barely ajar behind him.

David watches Joe leave, then lifts Max into his arms to put him down on the floor. He crouches in front of him and rubs his sides. "That's my very, very good boy. You sure like Doctor Joe, don't you?" Max's tail is wagging so hard it's a wonder he doesn't take flight. "Yeah, bud, me too."

It's only a minute or two before Joe comes back, something very tiny, grey and fluffy tucked inside his white lab coat. "Uh... right, I said I had something to show you, but really it's more of a someone," he explains, setting a wee tiny kitten down on top of the exam table, so young it wobbles a little as it gets its balance.

"Oh," David says, softly getting to his feet to stand next to the exam table and look down at the kitten. "It's so small."

Cat? Cat! Max puts his front paws up on the table to try to peer over; he's barely tall enough.

"Easy, Max, easy... we'll let you get a look in a second," Joe promises, smoothing his fur back over his head. "She was abandoned in front of the clinic... it happens more often than I like to think about. I took her home, fed her up. She's healthy. I know it's soon, but... I thought of you when I found her, and I wanted to give you right of first refusal on her."

There's a huge lump in David’s throat and it takes him a moment to be able to do so much as squeak. "Joe," he says, softly. "This is... she's so little." He swallows, looks up, and smiles shyly. "You really want me to have her?"

"Absolutely, if you'd like her," he says without question or even a pause. "I know how happy and contented you keep your animals. She'd be lucky to have you."

"It'd be an honour. Look at her, like a little pixel."

Can I see now? Can I? Can I see? Oh, let me see! Max is practically vibrating.

David glances down at him, then gathers the kitten up in his hands. "Hey there, little pixel."

"Pixel... now that's a good name for her," Joe says, smiling widely. "I think Max wants to see his new housemate. Gently, Max. She's very little. Just a baby."

Baby? I can be good with babies. Oh, let me seeeee! Max is still all but vibrating as David crouches down in front of him, the little kitten held in his hands. Max edges closer, practically puts his nose on the kitten, but he's a very good boy and he moves back quickly, runs in a little circle, looks up at Joe. She's ours now? We can keep her? I'll take good care of her!

"She gets to come home with us, Max. Isn't that wonderful?" David smiles. "We'll take very good care of her, won't we?"

"I think Max is on board with that, yes," Joe smiles. "I've got a carrier you can take her home in, since you weren't expecting this... a care package with kitten food, toys, her schedule for check ups, shots, spaying, everything you should need."

David looks up at him with a bright smile. "Thanks, Joe," he says. "Thank you so much." He gets to his feet as Max prances around excitedly. "You've been really wonderful to us."

"Well, I like to see animals go to homes where people will take good care of them," Joe says, returning David's smile. "And I thought maybe you needed her as much as she needed you."

"Yeah." He looks down at Max. "I think we do." He pauses a moment, looks almost shyly at Joe. "I'd like to... can I maybe... I dunno, buy you pizza and beer, or something? For your kindness."

"You...yeah?" Joe looks thrown, then smiles again. "I mean, yes, that'd be great. I like beer." I like beer? Joe, that was lame.

"Yeah." David looks all at once pleased, relieved, and slightly terrified.

"Yeah, I ... I do. I would, I mean... if you want. That'd be great." You already said that. "Whenever's good for you. You know my hours of operation."

"How about Saturday night? Neither of us works on Sunday, so..."

Say yes! Say yes! Say yes! Max winds himself around Joe's legs, and barks once.

"Max!" David looks mortified. "You'd think he thinks I was asking you out on a date." His eyes widen at his words and he laughs nervously.

Joe looks down at Max to cover the look of surprise on his face, crouching down and giving him a ruffle. "A date... oh, Max," he says, laughing about as nervously as David just did. "Saturday's good for me--sounds perfect."

"Good," David says. "Fantastic. Um. I guess you've got my address on file so you know where I live... Max'll love to have you over. If you don't mind."

Come over? He wants me to come over? Shut up, Joe, that doesn't mean it means anything. "Good--really good. I'm always up for a chance to see more of Max... and I'll get to see how Pixel's settling in too," Joe says, nodding a little too much.

David smiles brightly as Max barks again and prances as though he's in a show ring. "Great. So. Um. Seven? I close up shop at six, so I'll be home by then."

"Seven. Perfect. I can do seven," Joe nods again. "Uh... can I bring anything?"

A new toy!

"Maybe dessert?" David says. "Pizza and beer should have, I dunno, cookies or something."

Joe gives Max a wink, but doesn't say anything. "Dessert. I'm on it. So seven it is, and if you have any trouble or questions about Pixel, just call, any time. The answering service knows to call me."

"Thanks, Joe." David snuggles the little kitten under his chin for a moment, smiles more, then looks down. "I'd best get going."

"They've got everything waiting for you at the desk," Joe says, smiling again. "Take care, David. Max, always a pleasure."

*

Player/Pup Information

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 05:42:20 GMT

Pup name: Joe Flanigan
Pup JF: dr_dolittle

I would converse in polar bear and python,
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo,
If people ask me "can you speak rhinoceros?"
I'd say "of courserous! Can't you?"

Physical description: 41 (January 5,1967); 6'2'', brown hair that defies logic and gravity, and green eyes. He's in good shape and stays athletic to keep that way, but he's also got the metabolism of a twenty-year old (which frequently irritates David).

Super power: The ability to communicate with animals. Whether it's actual vocal communication, 'spoken' thoughts, or just background musing, Joe can pick up on what animals think and say, and they understand him in return. If necessary, he can block it out to a degree, or narrow it to just a specific animal (to tune out a flock of birds, or while at a dog park), but most of the time he keeps himself open to it.

Status: Hero

History: Joe was born in Los Angeles, California. He grew up on a small ranch near Reno, Nevada, spending most of his time as a kid taking care of the various animals about the ranch. He'd always talked to his animals, and he doesn't remember a time when they didn't talk back. For a long time, his family just thought he had a very vivid imagination, but when he was about thirteen, they finally realized that Joe was telling the truth, and that he really could communicate with animals. So they sent him to boarding school, hoping he'd grow out of it. Joe's response was to focus on his studies, ace his science courses, and go to college to become a veterinarian. And get himself a dog as soon as humanly possible.

As of 1998, he relocated to Chicago and took over a small veterinary practice, settling into a three bedroom house which quickly became overrun by a menagerie of animals, both his own permanent pets, and others who happened into his life, which he'd keep for awhile until he could find them a permanent home. Two years later, he was well settled into the area, with two dogs (A German Shepherd named Angel and a Golden Lab named Riley), four cats (Buffy and Faith, and Odo and Quark), and an incredibly sarcastic ferret named Templeton.

In 2000, David Hewlett brought his very sick Persian cat Fable to Joe's clinic, and it was Joe who put her to sleep. Later, David came to pick up Fable's ashes, and Joe offered him a small grey kitten who'd been abandoned at the clinic and needed a home. David immediately took her in. After a prompt from David's dog Max, who told Joe that David talked about him all the time, and further encouragement from the kitten--who David named Pixel--Joe and David got together for pizza and beer. They moved in together a few months later, and they've been together ever since. The number of animals in the house is ever-fluctuating, but they still have Pixel and Max, as well as Buffy and Faith, plus a number of other dogs and cats.

Very few people know about Joe's ability outside of David and his immediate family. One of his vet techs knows, because she caught him having a heated argument with a chihuahua named 'Bruiser', and he told one of his girlfriends in college, but he's not entirely sure she ever truly believed him. He's aware that somewhere out there in the world there are supposed to be other people who can do amazing and special things, but the only one he's ever met in person is David, so as far as it matters to the two of them, they're the only two freaks in Chicago, and quite content with the state of their little world.

Personality: Joe works too hard, takes too few vacations, and brings way, way too many animals home to an incredibly long-suffering David. He loves his life, he loves David, he loves their animals and everything to do with their home. He's rather blissfully domestic, and is never happier than when he's curled up on the couch with David and however many pets they can get up there with them. The little bit of free time that he takes for himself he spends running or cycling (usually with a dog or two running beside him), or watching cooking shows, although no matter how many episodes of Iron Chef he watches, he's never learned how to cook much of anything at all. Joe is a casual and friendly guy, more or less completely unaware of just how good looking he is, and even more clueless about just how often he gets hit on by men and women alike, and even if he was told, he'd either find it amusing, or not believe it.

Connections: David Hewlett (geekshop) - his boyfriend of 7 years.

Availability: In a committed relationship with David.

Orientation: Bisexual.

**

Mun name: Jay Linden
Mun JF: jay_linden
Mun AIM: Jay16Linden
Mun YIM: linden_jay
Mun email: jay.linden AT gmail.com
Preferred method of contact: IM-me, gmail-me, whatever. (Note: I'm on Pacific Time, so GMT-8)

Last updated: January 6, 2008