The Duranie Drama Report

Having a meltdown . . .

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 19:15:08 GMT

The duranduran.com message board is closing on January 10th.

Go there. Click anywhere. Drama abounds. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 12:23:06 GMT

scddgirl has a great idea. Let's start a John Taylor fan club!

Reactions range from "*squee!* What a great idea! Count me in!" to "Um, don't we already have Trust the Process for this sort of thing?"

scddgirl starts by making a list of members and people keep adding on to it, in between people like NYCRedhead and dandmfrey asking "What the shit is this?"

amibabes starts a thread for the Simon le Bon fanclub. Brighter souls detect a wee bit of sarcasm, particularly when she promises a "100% real Simon Le Bon" if the club reaches 100 members.

scddgirl, however, isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box, considering she thinks Duran Duran used to be Arcadia. So she announces that she's trying to get a 100% real John Taylor for their fan club. Frighteningly enough, she seems quite serious.

By page two, people are busting out the clue bats and, it seems, missing completely. scddgirl proclaims that they need a president, vice president, secretary and treasurer.

SpiritDancer campaigns for the Presidency, promising cookies and JT buttons to those who vote for her. Without even taking a vote, scddgirl proclaims SpiritDancer El Presidente.

Then it gets fun.

See, scddgirl proclaims SpiritDancer her 'right hand' (how very democratic of her.) SpiritDancer, however, has other ideas. She proclaims her total rulership of the club. And promptly dissolves it.

Things sort of drift into a sea of 'huh?' from there. Some people are still adding their names to the list, scddgirl is, understandably, miffed that her club has been taken over, and it just continues from there.

Meanwhile, in the Simon le Bon fanclub thread, SpiritDancer announces her takeover of that club as well. While other people are still signing their names to it, completely oblivious to the fact that it was meant as a joke in the first place.

EDIT: And now reeneebob is threatening a class action internet lawsuit!

7 and the Ragged Troll . . .

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 20:59:56 GMT

reneebob gets a charming PM from duranduran7.

And posts it for everybody to see.

People ponder who duranduran7 is an alt for, since s/h/it makes references to Mr. Ady Miles, who was driven off the board some time before s/h/it first registered in January of 2006.

duranduran7 protests, but seems to have some oddly deep grudges for somebody who's only been around for eight months.

Anyway, it's a slap-happy bitchfest and it's only at two pages so far. We expect great things from it.

NEWSFLASH! duranduran7 has been bahleeted! So the thread's going to make a little less sense now . . .

Why, yes, Netrage is back, why do you ask?

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 19:22:55 GMT

Reine (it's supposedly pronounced RUH-nay, in case you give a crap) once reigned as the queen of the Duran Duran message board by using the Ramona Method of Board Domination--posting and posting and posting until you can't possibly be ignored. She would start topics with attempts at 'deep' questions, post pictures of herself and spew verbal effluence that claimed to be poetry. She also made some outlandish claims about herself and Simon le Bon, usually in the duranduran.co.uk chatroom, where it would be harder to point to what she said. Her lies--about her relationship with Simon and about her health--got more outrageous and more and more people starting noticing the inconsistencies and eventually closing in for the kill. The final straw was when she posted about being in the hospital for back surgery and posted hospital paperwork to prove she wasn't lying about it--except that, as many noticed, the handwriting on the most prominent places looked suspiciously like her own.

Actually, explaining all about Reine would take a few years, so let's get to the drama.

After the back surgery incident, she retreated to MySpace and DuranDuranMusic and left the dd.com message board alone. And there was much rejoicing.

dandmfrey comes across one of Reine's MySpace blog entries where she announces that she's pregnant. She posts about it on dd.com. The first page is pretty much people going "yeah, RIGHT!" Somebody posts a picture that Reine posted of herself and Simon le Bon--a passable enough PhotoShop job, even if you can still see the watermark on Simon's shirt. The thing was, she had tried to pass it off as the genuine article, thus the mockery.

Page two is where the fun really begins, when people show up in Reine's defense. The most prominent defender of Reine's honor is Mr.Stylez, later known as Joey+Stylez (previously known a JoeyStylez who lost that particular screen name because it was banned after he physically threatened somebody on the board.) Yuyu also wants to know why such an old blog entry was brought up, but that's about all we're going to even attempt to figure out from her ESL posts.

Page three is where things heat up as Joey+Stylez starts sniping at GreyOktoberMoon, claiming jealousy on her part because Reine is a Real Live Published Author (never mind she's published by PublishAmerica, a known vanity press.) He also goes after Netrage, reneebob and others, for being--get this--"bullyish". Yes, folks, making fun of people on the internet is worse than using physical intimidation.

From there, it's back and forth between supporters and bashers of Ms. Reine, including people who seem to support Reine on the basis that they don't like the crowd who are against her.

Periodically, people complain about the thread still being on the front page, though, of course, by complaining about it in a post within the thread, they jostle it to the very top.

Godwin's Law gets proven here, and the thing keeps going without a backward glance.

We'll see how much longer it lasts.

Mawwiage . . . is what bwings us together . . .

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 22:36:02 GMT

duranie99 poses the question would you divorce over DD? on the dd.com message board.

Mind you, she does this back in November of 2005. The thread kerfuffles for about thirty posts (mostly of the "ARE YOU SHITTING ME??" variety) and then sinks to the bottom.

Then st1llbreathing digs it up in July 2006 and gives her perspective, saying maybe there's some sense in what duranie99 is saying. The thread flares up again, with fresh rounds of "ARE YOU SHITTING ME??" and a few rounds of "Well, if Duran Duran is going to be a dealbreaker, maybe the marriage was doomed in the first place."

duranfan0620 sings the praises of divorcing over Duran, having done it herself, apparently. Then dmulcahy does the same. (To be fair, they point out that there were other capital-I Issues in their respective marriages and Duran was only one of them.)

Then along comes duranduran7, giving the male perspective, which includes sniping at dmulcahy for being "selfish".

bloodshift snipes back at duranduran7 and then it devolves into a lovely little slapfest of nasty PMs sent and said PMs posted for all the world to see. Including the ever reliable "your high post count proves you have no life" routine.

It'll probably bob to the surface a few more times before it sinks permanently.

The Wonder Twins strike again.

Wed, 24 May 2006 13:34:27 GMT

One of these days, we'll actually report on some Duranie Drama that doesn't have Netrage involved. But we have yet to find any.

In the meantime, there's this. carina posts a message to speedbunny (the alter-ego of the moderator, apparently) about the state of the duranduran.com message board.

One post later, she adds "a little pre-emptive strike on Netrage", predicting the things he's going to bitch about. Netrage, naturally, insists he wasn't going to say anything along those lines, but bitches anyway. His fiance and bodyguard NigelsAngel shows up immediately afterward and it's a big slap-happy fight from there. There's apparently some resentment about some VIP packages that carina bought for them that they happily accepted and then turned around and pontificated about what a waste of money VIP packages are.

It's still pretty brief, but growing rapidly. And speedbunny herself has yet to actually show up in the thread that was directed at her in the first place.

Raffling some feathers . . .

Tue, 16 May 2006 00:40:51 GMT

The Duranie convention circuit isn't nearly as extensive as, say, the science fiction convention circuit, largely because Duranies still have these things called "concerts" to gather and meet their kind at.

But a few exist. The Friends of Mine convention is one of them. This year, it's being held in San Antonio, Texas, and organizer (and Clear Static promoter) robin robin won't let us forget it.

"Convention Team" member Tarcia posts about a raffle of some shirts that Katy Krassner donated to the convention, to raise funds for it. (Apparently charging enough to actually cover expenses would have made the entry fee too prohibitive for most Duranies--and we're talking people who will shell out over three hundred bucks for VIP tickets to shows.) The shirts range from the passably presentable, to the atrocious "Fiona Effect" one that obviously nobody bought.

As it turns out, one of them--a bright orange jobbie in extra-large--dates back to the Pop Trash era. There's no band picture on it--just "Duran Duran" around a dollar sign (which is much more appropriate now, when you think about it.)

LdyXanax wants to know if the orange shirt has been "checked for moth holes."

robin robin begs them to lay off: "Please let us have our good time. It doesn't affect you, does it? All I ask is that you leave us alone and let us have our fun. Please?"

They go back and forth on the definition of a "new" shirt. Then Drama King Netrage takes it upon himself to step in, for some reason, and it just gets more beautiful from there as he and LdyXanax snipe at each other.

It's still quite brief, at this point, but we expect great things will come of it.

Some like it OT

Sat, 06 May 2006 18:26:36 GMT

Everyone's favorite self-appointed Board Police Officer naughty_rio is back at it, complaining about off topic threads by posting . . . off topic threads about how off topic things are.

It gets even funnier when Netrage steps in and voices his support of the sentiment . . . and then gets called on the fact that he announced his engagement to NigelsAngel on that very board (though the original thread seems to have vanished into the ether for some reason.)

Already, an alt has sprouted up--NaughtyTroll--to stir things up even more.

Funnily enough, nobody seems to consider posting actual Duran Duran related topics in a non-troll-like fashion.

Topicality

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 21:02:06 GMT

Unlike many message boards, the message board on duranduran.com has no subfora. Everything is posted in one place. Periodically, people complain about this fact, while other people insist it's just fine that way, but nothing ever changes it. Some people have taken to putting the notation "OT" (Off Topic) to denote posts that aren't actually about Duran Duran, because no cyberspace gathering place can seem to sustain itself without a place to ramble about whathefuckever.

naughty_rio has decided that the place needs more Duran Duran topics. So she takes it upon herself to post a zillion Duran-related topics and push every other topic off of the front page. She then celebrates her handiwork.

Self-appointed Board Police SPG2 shoots back with a message to STOP SPAMMING THE BOARD! naughty_rio is unrepentant, while Netrage and conjoined twin NigelsAngel bitch about the OT posts and say that naughty_rio has the right idea.

HexxKitten gets her claws out and spams the board with her own topics, including a set that apparently spelled out "feck off", one initial at a time.

naughty_rio retaliates by posting more off-topic topics, too numerous to be linked to. She explains that she's just giving HexxKitten"her own medicine".

It's just one big splooge-fest on dd.com, but there's no telling how long it will last.

UPDATE: naughty_rio is taking her ball and going home!

Cathy's having a Bad Day . . .

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 21:24:01 GMT

Poor CathyfromQuincy. She was driving home from WalMart to see a huge plume of smoke rising up from her neighborhood and discovers that her friend's house has burned down.

Naturally, she posts about it on dd.com, under the topic Another bad day for Cathy.. Prayers needed.

She's asking for pozzies for her friends, which is perfectly sensible, but several people (Cestlavi, MistressAriel and drama regular Netrage among them) point out that this is hardly a time to be lamenting her bad luck when the tragedy in question didn't actually happen to her. She also mentions getting in a minor traffic accident, but the naysayers slap that grab for sympathy down as well, pointing out that she emerged without major injury and her car got repaired in record time.

There doesn't seem to be a thread about it at DuranTard yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

And now for something completely dramatic . . .

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 00:08:27 GMT

Yes, it's a tri-board clusterfuck, people! Fun for the whole family.

Netrage and catsredrum2 take it upon themselves to start yet another message board that makes fun of Those Wacky Fan Types. (It also makes fun of INXS fans, who are, unsurprisingly, also prone to drama.) So kelgura makes a post about it on dd.com.

Some people just shrug and say, "What, don't we already have durantard.com for this kind of thing?" So the DuranTard people come in force to point out that they have nothing to do with this directly, just similar missions, and, the Duran scene being the circle jerk it is, many of the same users.

There's some kind of catfight going on between LdyXanax and kelgura, for some reason, which drags things out even longer, particularly with LdyXanax making a bit show of her administrative voodoo powers on DuranTard.

It's passed the 100-post-mark and it's still going strong. Looks like it may be burning for quite a while yet.

Hate!

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 01:59:09 GMT

Yes, it's been a while, but oh, we've got a beauty.

Taylor's Mom starts a thread called ok.. For all who hate Warren.. :) which has a picture of Warren in a clown suit. Well, no, actually, it's a picture of him garbed in the costume he wore for the little-seen video for "Out of My Mind". Some people slam Warren, some people say he isn't all bad, it's actually pretty mild for a Warren-based thread.

In response, people start little threads of "For those who hate . . . " other users which are clearly meant in jest.

However, the thread ok, for all who hate reeneebob.... winds up with one serious taker, namely, CathyFromQuincy. CFQ has a deep-seated grudge against reeneebob, apparently because reeneebob has been making fun of CFQ for being boring and incoherent. (There's also some kerfuffle about an alt of hers being outed which CFQ still insists was her sister.) Anyway, CFQ wishes death on reeneebob, her immediate family, friends and pets and actually takes some sort of twisted delight ("hint hint, my first prayer was answered") in the fact that a family pet of reeneebob's recently passed away.

And the drama goes FOOM!

And the hits keep coming . . .

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 02:25:13 GMT

Over on Durantard, MG5 posts a pic of someone's enormous sig of two chicks with feather boas crudely grafted to the infamous picture of Nick with a feather boa. The sig proudly proclaims the pair to be "Sewah Sistahs". Mockage, naturally, ensues.

Then, sbjsf (is that a name or a bad Scrabble hand?), one of the Sewah Sistahs in question shows up, having been pointed in the direction of the mockage by a friend. The kerfuffle there is actually minor, since the Durantardies are willing to remove her face from the picture at her request and even give her props for coming there and speaking her piece, rather than starting a whole other thread on an entirely different board.

Then it gets better, when NMOMchick shows up, spouts no less than three cliches--you're all big meanies, I hope you're not mothers (!!) and, of course, the classic I'm leaving now so I don't care what you say. Naturally, she doesn't make good on her word and goes about systematically shitting on threads before the mods put the kibosh on it.

More may still follow. Stay tuned.

Will October 27th hurry up and get here already?

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 17:10:15 GMT

On duranduran.com, amibabes wants to start the Official Wishing Simon le Bon A Happy Birthday Thread. So, one month in advance, she puts in a request to be the one start the thread. Just to make sure we've got it straight here--she's not actually starting a Birthday Thread a month in advance (which is hardly unusual Duranie behavior), just asking if she can be the blessed one to start The Thread Of Simon Birthday Wishes one week before the event. Like anybody there can actually give her permission.

The request gets buried as the weeks go by, of course, and Durannie84 starts The Official "Happy Birthday to SIMON" Thread some five days before amibabes had planned to start hers. Naturally, amibabes is a little miffed, posts a link to her humble request and (though the post gets backedited) says something about being moved to tears by having her thunder stolen.

Meanwhile, all the other Duranies are busily posting birthday wishes nearly two weeks in advance, in the hopes that Simon will see them and spend a moment of his time thinking about them.

Durantard versus Durantard

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 22:06:10 GMT

Yes, folks, nothing like a little inter-board warfare to kick of the Duranie Drama Report. And here we thought we'd have to dig up some old stuff to get things started.

Some folks set up Durantard.com, a domain with a message board devoted to making fun of Those Wacky Duranies. (It was a sort of spin-off of the Obsessive Fascination board on Jellywood and took off to the point that Obsessive Fascination withered and died and was replaced by another subforum.)

Well, hngry4jt found out about it and, naturally, had to tell everybody at duranduran.com about it. The Durantarders respond in kind by (a) boosting the post count of the thread with comments and (b) starting their own thread about it on durantard.com. The dd.com thread gets an extra surge of activity because astropopgirl flings around the word "sex offender", yanking the chain of Netrage and NigelsAngel. (There's some foofera about a locked thread where this topic was gone over earlier, but we can't seem to track it down.) In fact, it gets so bad that even the Andyjackers try to show up, to no particular effect, except to cause the thread to devolve into a weird-ass picture thread for a few posts, before it goes back into "why are those people being such meanies" again.

Edit: The Sunday Tard Post of the Day on Durantard leads to a retaliatory post on dd.com. Starts as a minor kerfuffle, but classic--Marmafrej wonders why people are going to both places, even though she couldn't know about it if she didn't go to both places--but then blossoms into the high drama we go to dd.com for.