The sum total of a conversation I had on AIM last night -
Her: WELL I DON'T THINK IT'S RACIST
Me: That's nice, you're caucasian and so am I, we don't get to decide what's racist or not, you're being purposefully thick, knock it off.
Her: *I'm-a-victim flailing about how I called her racist*
Me: Yeah not so much. Further, *admittedly-needless sarcasm*
Her; *pissy snipey threatening*
Me: *yawn.* *blargh.* *attempt to clarify*
Her; *further explanation*
Me: Okay, that's cool there, but there's still issues.
And apparently I'm supposed to know psychically whether she is feeling ill.
She's the dingdong who came out of the blue flapping around about how she DOES NO THINK IT IS RACIST BAWWWW and she knows god DAMN well that (a) I don't agree with her on what constitutes racism (she labours under the misconception that it's all hatecrime, I think) and that I'm more radar-y about things (I'm not 'looking for it', and it doesn't matter how much you 'let it bother you', dammit), and (b) when she does this kind of thing, it cases problems.
We have done this dance before, ad last night I was clearly kind of b33r'd, so I don't know what the sam hell she's thinking.
I am literally yhe only person she has a spine arguing with. I honestly think she likes trying to argue with me. I wsh she'd get her vertebrae on elsewhere. I'm afraid that some day I'm seriously going to kick her ass, and she won't be able to take it. :/ Bt honest to GOD. She does things like this - she can't access the forum that an RP we're co-running is on and for MONTHS AND MONTHS does not tell me that she has Comcast and it fails at loading this, she canNOT confront poeple frankly about issues she has with their gaming, she feels sorry for herself half the time because she sees what she's doing but doesn't move to change her behaviours to solve an issue... and she thinks she wants to fight with me and that what - is it FUN to her or something!? It's like she wants me to eat her face.
When it comes to spine, and brains, I >>>>>>>>> her. I'm sorry, I sound like a dick, but it's true. She's smarter than me in some respects but when it comes to practical things, or dealing with matters outside her personal understanding -
(She pulled the 'well this one person of colour said they didn't have a problem' bollocks too. I asked her if she thought PoC were the Borg.)
She really doesn't GET things. She does not GET that white folks don't get to decide what's racist/problematic and what isn't. And she does not get that things can be done well in some respects, and fail in others.
I think most of her denial is a matter of fangiring Blizzard very hard and not wanting to have to feel guilty about playing their games on account of Issues.
I'm not here to dole out band-aids. And I don't know why I have to explain that jokes that work within her social circle might go over like a lead zeppelin outside of it, or that WHITE PEOPLE DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHA IS FRIGGIN' RACIALLY FAIL because WE INVENTED THE RACIALLY FAILISH SHIT.
...I don't know. I'm just exasperated that I got baited by this. I should have just gone 'yeah okay'. I don't know. I need to TRY to explain but when someone's actually being willingly thick - gah. GAH. Argh.
I dunno man. Progressives can still have e fail in many respects, and the answer isn't to go 'oh well it'll always be there' or 'oh what so we shouldn't ever write XYZ anymore'. The answer is to go 'well fuck, that was stupid of us to do, let's fix it.'
I don't know. I get that she's not in a great situation at home, blah, but why the HELL would you wanna fight with me? I'm kinda a jackass sometimes!
I dunno. I'm just - irritated. I'm annoyed that I got baited and I'm annoyed because I thought she had GROWN PAST THIS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SOPPY WHINEBALLING BULLCRAP THING OF DOOM.
Blah. Usually she is not bad, but she has a shit sense of how she comes across textually (I know damn well I can sound pretentious, and I try to alleviate that - ) and a shit sense of who is going to validate her or something.
I should have just linked her to the racefail link depot.