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| User: | elfwreck (11573) The Elf Half
Anatomically correct beats politically correct any day. |
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| Name: | elfwreck | |||||||||
| Location: | Oakland, California, United States | |||||||||
| Birthdate: | 09-03 | |||||||||
| Bio: | "Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; —Dorothy ParkerBrag of the Female Subgenius I'm the Infrared Woman! I've got the Beast of the Abyss between my legs! I make the Virgin Mary look like the Grand Canyon! You can run deep, but with me you can't run silent! I'll make you howl so loud, they'll be green-eyed on the Moon! The New Age was invented just for me--I wore the old one out! I shocked Aleister Crowley and made the last ten Popes give up their vows! Who do you think Sappho wrote all those poems to? I'm so gooood, I made the Great Stone Face come three times--and he doesn't even exist from the neck down! I've got more swing in my hips than the San Francisco earthquake! When I'm in heat, dogs, cats, wolves, bears, randy goats, 12-point bucks, pterodactyls and swallow-tail butterflies come from miles around for a try at me! I do it with basilisks! Frodo beat the shit out of Dopey, Sneezy, and Doc just so he could get into my flower garden! I never pay taxes--the government pays me to wear out the work force! I don't charge money for it, honey--I charge Slack! When they call me a bitch, I just bark right back at 'em! I created Time Control, Darlin'--if you've got five minutes, I'll give you an Aeon of sheer ecstasy! Nuclear power plants hide in shame when I go by! Come on up and see me sometime, sweetheart, and I'll show you a Naked Singularity! I put the "collapse" in collapsars! I don't shave under my arms--I mow... when I don't braid! I don't catch crabs--I catch mountain lions! So step aside, all you slab-sided, prune-faced, whey-fleshed, disrag-cunnied, androphobic, gynophobic, sarcephobic, biophobic, paint-covered, latex-bound beehive-hairdo'ed, pinch-browed, antiseptic, chemical-stenched, stilt-heeled, pucker-butted gunnysacks of weasel-jerky! I fold, stape, spindle, and mutilate whole bureaucracies! I have Senators for familiars! I don't just have the Evil Eye, I've got Evil in places you've never even heard of! I make octopi look arthritic! Nuns and junkies give up their habits for me! I drove the Whore of Babylon out of business! Astarte invented aphrodisiacs just to keep up with me! I am a mink in heat, I am a Tyrannosaurus regina on the make, I make Jaws look like a small-mouthed Bass! A Black Hole is convex compared to me, and once you try me, you'll think the Big Bang is nothing but a wet firecracker! I made Dirac, Pauli and Einstein get physical! I'm the one who fucks 'em when they can't take a joke--and makes 'em smile again! I'm so weird, Discordians join the Republican Party in sheer self-defense! I'm the Queen of Heaven, the Dark Lady of Space, the Lovely Black Star of the Sea! I'm on cave walls, in the Temple of Karnak, on the walls of Pompeii and the Cathedral of Notre Dame! I'm in the Prescriptures! Jehovah-1 burns incense to me! I'm... (film breaks)
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| Memories: | 1 entry | |||||||||
| Interests: | 83: 23, 5 1/2 minute hallway, ayn rand, breastfeeding, bunny pancakes, cephalopods, codex seraphinianus, compersion, conlangs, cthulhu mythos, debate, delerium, delphiforums, delusions, discordianism, discworld, ecstasy, emperor norton, empty souls, entheogens, eris, fandom, feri, fictional scriptures, fifth trinity church, filk, filk music, flamewars, folk music, gurps, heinlein, hentai, homeschooling, illuminati, joseph campbell, laadan, law of fives, linguistics, lucid dreaming, magick, marvic denjas, memetics, myths, no pity, no shame, no silence, non-wiccan witchcraft, nopity noshame nosilence, paganism, parenting, pdfs, peace, polyamory, psychadelics, psycholinguistics, religion, religions, religious debate, religious witchcraft, ritual structure, rituals, robert anton wilson, role-playing games, rpgs, sacred sex, science fiction, sea monkeys, semantics, sex magick, sexual ethics, shamanism, slash, snarry, starry plough, stereograms, tarot, theology, theramin music, verbal self-defense, weirdness, witchcraft, yahoo!answers, yelf | |||||||||
| Schools: | None listed | |||||||||
| Friends: |
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| Mutual Friends: | 12: allifer, atrata, aubrem, auctasinistra, bethbethbeth, femmequixotic, klynie1, loupgarou1750, oulangi, painless_j, reddwarfer, slashpine | |||||||||
| Also Friend of: | 14: alchemia, annephoenix, dancing_serpent, darkrhiannon, flamewarrior, icarusancalion, jadzialove, joanwilder, jordangrant, laurelwood, lizardspots, snakeling, truly_tazi, xena_2001de | |||||||||
| Member of: | 1: fandom_wank | |||||||||
| Account Type: | Free Account | |||||||||
