I have heard one too many stupidface "expert" diagnose someone with sex addiction because the guy likes to sleep with a lot of people, or wants to be in multiple relationships, or cheats.
If you're a cheater, you're a cheater. Sure you could be a sex addict, but it's an entirely separate issue.
Want to sleep with lots people or be in multiple relationships? GREAT HAVE FUN. My life is a hundred thousand times more fulfilling with my multiple romantic and sexual relationships. Sex addiction has NOTHING TO DO with your number of partners.
I think I did have a kind of sex addiction, or more accurately, a kink addiction, where I was using D/s relationships to satisfy an unhealthy need or to gloss over actual problems in my life, kind of like other people use alcohol or drugs or food. Guess what? I had one partner at a time then. When I met Simon, I think I was ready to use him in the same way, but he didn't let me, because he focused on showing me my own value and wouldn't let me use our relationship to cover things up or prove the bad things I thought about. He supported me confronting the problems I was using D/s to avoid and you know what happened? I married him. And I have fabulous sex with many people* and am blissful I tell you. Blissful. So fuck you, experts.
*And am also married to another fabulous person who helps me believe in myself and keep me from going to that bad place again every day so there
It is bollocks. Yes - I have less sex than I used to and yes, some of that is because I've got better at saying no/not saying yes just for the sake of it. But that doesn't mean I'm turning down everyone! I only have two partners but I meet people at the club, I have friends I play with, all that sort of thing. And it hasn't done me any harm because I'm doing it because it's fun, that's all. I'm not compensating for something, I'm not looking for some deeper meaning, I just want to fuck or scene or whatever.
Also, there's a lot of people who use "addiction" (I mean talking about something being an addiction) as an excuse. "Oh, he's an addict, he can't help it." Bollocks to that. Addiction has a specific meaning - it's not enjoying a drink too many, it's not going shopping because you're depressed, it's not getting caught banging your secretary. It has a meaning and if you do have an addiction then you'd better find some fucking self-control and get some help before you ruin your life.
Right - and the number of things that people do try and label as addiction fuck things up for genuine addicts because it makes this blurry idea of what addiction is or isn't. (I'm an Irish alcoholic. I have Opinions on this topic.)
I completely agree. I like having multiple people in my life both romantic and sexual and that makes me happy and I enjoy life. There no cheating and I'm pretty sure there isn't anything to do with addiction either.
Some people like this stupid expert have too much time on their hands for sure.