I am married to a fucking genius, identity politics edition
[public to Est]
Referring to my wife here, incidentally, not my husband, though Sir, you're very intelligent too, and hmm, maybe I'll quit while I'm ahead :-) So I'll do Sir-squeeing when Trek 2 comes out, but for now, I HAVE to share this video of Thandie's TED Talk last year in Edinburgh because it's just so amazing and thought-provoking.
The Cliff Notes version, for those who don't have time to watch (though you'd better later, when you do): Thandie's talking about how we don't connect with each other authentically and value human lives because we're so wrapped up in the self--the self being something that's created and molded from how other's perceive us, in reaction to or maybe in absorption of others opinions, descriptions, compliments, and insults. In the video she talks a lot about Africa, race, and her own experiences of her self being destroyed again and again until she realized that her self wasn't a real thing. But what I want to ask here is about connection, and how you make authentic connections with other people.
Thandie gives the examples of dance (where you lose the self and connect to things like the air and the ground, returning to that infant state of curiosity and sensation without self-awareness) and acting (where you take on another self, transcending your own identity). I'm wondering who has thoughts on other means, though--my first thought was sex, a cliche as it sounds, because sex does get you into that id space where it's more about bodies and sensations than the self you present. And also service, because when I'm in a true service space, I do lose myself in a way--though maybe my serving self is hyper-constructed by how dominants view me, and it's important to realize that that isn't me, so judgements don't hit so hard.