Quote Files

farohji @ 2008-07-25T01:24:00

2008-07-25T05:24:39Z

SupremeDal3k posted:
WE DECLARE WAR ON THE INFERIOR RACE.

HarpingofRassilon posted:
STFU N00b.

SupremeDal3k posted:
N00B? WE ARE SUPERIOR, WE WILL CONQUER YOU.

HarpingofRassilon posted:
This is a message from HarpingofRassilon's girlfriend: He died today and so can't reply to that, but I bet his reply would be fabulous. No, really. Fabulous.

C1b3r-733t posted:
[insert macro]
DELETE. DELETE. DELETE.

SupremeDal3k posted:
EXTERMINATE C1b3r-733t! EXTERMINATE.

HarpingofRassilon posted:
Actually, I'm back. It's harder to stay dead nowadays. *banninates SupremeDal3k and C1b3r-733t.*

- context

farohji @ 2008-06-19T11:25:00

2008-06-19T15:25:44Z

Some days I want to be written by Frank Miller. So I can yell WHORES at random and get looks of concern rather than the usual pity. WHORES

- Warren Ellis

farohji @ 2008-02-12T19:14:00

2008-02-13T00:15:57Z

I can't remember the source, but there's some sci-fi story I've read where the conclusion reads along the lines of "They could withstand the fiecest of our weapons, they could defeat us intellectually, but in the end, I think they died of sheer culture shock" - the looks on the faces of the scientologists when faced with a crowd in which a lone voice shouts:

"I HEAR TOM CRUISE HATES MUDKIPS!"

(all) "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

... how do you fight that?

How do you, ideologically speaking, defeat a crowd that is enthusiastically demanding that you "DO A BARREL ROLL! DO A BARREL ROLL!!" ?

I found myself very pleased about being British.

- deathboy, here regarding the Anonymous protest against Scientology

farohji @ 2007-12-30T00:47:00

2007-12-30T05:48:12Z

Plot Holes

Unexpectedly deep. Have been known to take weeks to get out of.

Camp Fuck You Die Wiki

farohji @ 2007-10-15T19:59:00

2007-10-15T23:59:57Z

Kira: you just said Bryan, and i added Singer automatically
P-chan: No, Boys Like Girls Bryan, not boy who likes boys and makes movies Bryan.

farohji @ 2007-09-11T22:55:00

2007-09-12T02:55:55Z

Adam: Hey, did you hear Microsoft was developing a handled system?
Max: Yeah, it's called a laptop.

farohji @ 2007-09-07T19:19:00

2007-09-07T23:31:41Z

I'm reading this and trying to remember who everyone is from the acronyms but since I'm still waiting for the coffee to brew to wake up braaaain, I'm just picturing entire television channels of young cuties making out in black denim and fingerless gloves.

"Tonight, on SPN, Wacky hijinks ensue when Gerard thinks Frank stole his guyliner on Everybody Loves Romance! Followed by a new episode of Emo's World starting at nine."

....C'mooooon, coffee.

- shaysdays, here

---

So, uh, what exactly do these "stage gays" do on stage? Cause I don't think I like any of the bands mentioned but depending on how far they take the stage gay I might be tempted to take in a performance or two.

You know, for research purposes.

- pink_rhombus, here

---

I *love* that this wank is actually TURNING PEOPLE ON TO BANDOM. COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE HOT BOYS MAKING OUT.

- stele3, here

---

Does it count if there's actual gay mixed in with the stagegay? I think Wham should be disqualified on those grounds. It's no fair having a ringer!

- wanktastic, thread here

---

Alas, no owl sightings today but I did spot a colorful-looking teamster hanging around the lunch tent. Sadly, however, there was no one around to offer up wildlife commentary. Still it would've been hard to beat David Hewlett's reaction upon spotting the owl yesterday. "My invitation to Hogwarts!" he piped up. "It's finally arrived!"

- Joe Mallozzi

farohji @ 2007-08-05T12:39:00

2007-08-05T16:39:31Z

By the by, if anyone does have any video of Neil being snogged by Jonathan Ross at the Eisner Awards, pretty please put it on YouTube. Or email it over. Or both.

Regards,
The Official Web Elf

PS from Neil, you don't have to, honest.

PPS from Web Elf, ignore that last PS.

farohji @ 2007-07-23T22:16:00

2007-07-24T02:17:09Z

So I went to the midnight release party for That Book, right? You know the one? Anyway, they had employees dressed up in costume and stuff, etc etc. Anyway, there was one wandering around with a "Daily Prophet" newspaper and the headline "BLACK ESCAPES AZKABAN". With a picture of Conrad Black.

- Kimera

farohji @ 2007-07-21T15:58:00

2007-07-21T20:04:03Z

I'm paid 9.50 an hour to play video games and complain about their problems. I'd like to see you find a better job.

- Moogle

---

I think I'm a non-practicing morning person. I like the idea of getting up and at 'em, it's something I think about while I'm sleeping in.

~*~

Red Cross certified...I can now officially "save" plastic dummies from all sorts of nasty dummy-threatening mishaps.

- David Hewlett

farohji @ 2007-07-17T20:29:00

2007-07-18T00:30:09Z

It's rather like wank, watching the news, especially when it's politics. Labour is the "ship" that's in power, declared the "canon ship" even though it's not really canon canon. The Tories, Lib Dems and other parties are other ship supporters.

Tony (now Gordon) is the B-est of all BNFs in the "canon ship" and they sort of direct the ~~British people~~ fandom where they want it to go, even if it's to ~~whore to the US~~ crossover with some other fandom to create something total non-sensical (Doraemon/Astro Boy OTP!). It could be because Tony is friends with the BNF of that fandom, George. It could be because they're sleeping together. It could also be because they like to create controversy/wank, or are, in fact, batshit insane. Every now and then they go too far and their own fellow shippers scream WTF and revolt. Sometimes ~~George~~ the BNF is so ineloquent you wonder why he is a BNF, and every time you hear him talk/mumble, you just go *face palm* and ~~change the TV channel~~ scroll down.

Sometimes, we wish we could just vote people out of fandom. Gordon slots right into the hole Tony left and the fandom cries, "we never asked for this!"

Every time Labour does something wrong, the other shippers jump up and point fingers and go "HA! Yours isn't the canon ship afterall!" They demand inquiries, to disprove that Labour is the one-true-ship. Others write ~~investigative reports~~ fandom essays to say that their ship is actually better. Sometimes a particular ~~fresh event~~ scene in the latest episode pops up and creates a massive stir - Labour says "Look, see here, ~~war on terror needs the money~~ THEY TOUCHED HANDS!" and Tories say, "yeah but ~~our own society is broken, spend the attention and money at home~~ our pairing GAZED LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER."

Everyday we get updates on the whole wankage by ~~the news and critics~~ fandom_wank and popular LJ-ists. Every now and then people abandon ship or declare they're leaving the fandom. As if the rest of the people would actually care. Of course, their close friends and sockpuppets would weep, but they'd be forgotten and only every now and then show up in ~~the history book~~ Fandom Wank Wiki, but only if they're worth mentioning.

But in the end, for the majority of the ~~population~~ fandom, all we want is just to happily carry on with our ~~lives~~ fandom activities. Where is the porn gone, anyway?

- Pez

farohji @ 2007-07-07T13:32:00

2007-07-07T17:32:07Z

Pan: The best place for a climactic showdown with hostile alien robots is in the middle of a densely populated city.
Chapel: Didn't you just describe the final three minutes of every episode of Power Rangers?
Pan: .....yes

---

I salute your plan and Waspinator in his grammatically incorrect glory.

farohji @ 2007-06-29T05:13:00

2007-06-29T09:16:22Z

Nothing says Gears of War quite like khaki pulled high. And a polo shirt. A yellow polo shirt.

- here

---

More countries should say no to movies with Tom Cruise.

~*~

The point of a Fantastic Four movie is NOT to go - wow, best movie ever.
It's to put on your big green cape and run around the theater shouting - DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! AHAHAH! Doom demands a Caramello! Someone must fetch Doom a caramello now, or DIE!

- Tey

---

Nothing says "start-up company" like most of the employees engaging in a Nerf gun fight while two bosses circle in the centre of the room, dueling with pool-noodles while the "Captain Kirk Fight Song" blares on a set of computer speakers in the background.

- Kevin

farohji @ 2007-05-01T16:39:00

2007-05-01T20:49:51Z

In fact, I think this is exactly what the world needs now. Forget love, sweet love; we need an army of zombie pimps.

~*~

Speaking of the months to come, TokyoPop has invited me to San Diego Comicon to be on a couple of panels, and get my geek on, so I'm totally going.

NEEEERRRRDDD PRRRRROOOOMMMM!!!!11

- Wil Wheaton

---

So who's with me? King Ianto's Coffee Club. Join it for everlasting peace and damn fine coffee.

Gwen and Tosh said they'd sign up. Owen called me a nutter. He'll be the first one to go under King Ianto's regime.

- Ianto, Torchwood report here.

---

With Sympathy, On Your Cancellation
Commiserations On Your C&D
So Long, and Thanks For All the Fic
Deepest Condolences On Being Jossed
Thinking Of You...On Your Arraignment For Piracy
So Sorry To Hear You've Been Fandom Wanked!
So We Hear You've Unsubbed
A Bundle Of Joy: So You've Got A New Fandom

- Fandom Sympathy cards, a ton here.

farohji @ 2007-03-25T22:02:00

2007-03-26T02:02:20Z

So... Steve wakes up, walks into his bathroom, and we see Tony stepping out of the shower?

Hey, whatever it takes to retcon CW. I'm willing to accept Teh Mighty Ghey Avengers -- Cap can say he's just doing this 10% of the time to fully represent all of America's sexual orientations, and Tony is a slut anyway. :-)

- specialagentm , here

farohji @ 2007-03-18T22:40:00

2007-03-19T02:41:15Z

Civil War is dumb because it made one large group of superheroes evil and another large group of superheroes moronic.

- dreamshade, here

farohji @ 2007-03-16T23:46:00

2007-03-17T03:46:22Z

Alas, poor Cap. If only he used MySpace.

- starwolf_oakley, here

farohji @ 2007-02-20T01:16:00

2007-02-20T06:16:36Z

I work in Canada because I choose to. This is not a consolation prize.

- Callum Keith Rennie

farohji @ 2007-01-10T21:11:00

2007-01-11T02:11:29Z

This year's AMV competition at Ohayocon was unusual for one very big reason -- there wasn't a single AMV set to an Evanescence song. I don't think that's happened since "Fallen" came out back in '93. You could almost hear the entire auditorium breathe a sigh of relief.

- Sailor Mac

farohji @ 2007-01-02T21:54:00

2007-01-03T02:56:40Z

And do not break the Internet while I'm away. Look, I am putting it just up here, on top of the wardrobe, where it will be nice and safe...

---

Right. I had better go and buy food and do all those other things one does on getting back from a week away, which today I think include pretending that the person-high mounds of mail on the kitchen table don't exist.

---

The best thing about going for walks in the woods are the cats, who pretend they aren't really along for the walk, but are merely there by some kind of feline coincidence. Today the cat pretending she wasn't actually accompanying me was Princess, who was extremely well camouflaged.

---

Remind me not to post about breaking the Internet again: first newBlogger spams poor Livejournal on my first post back, and then my own internet connection goes down completely on January 1st, when there are no help people at the end of the helpline, and it's another full day until they can get it back online.

Obviously there are things one must not joke about. I am beginning to suspect that the Internet is watching us, and its feelings are easily hurt.

...

Small parental moment of proud happiness -- my son Mike, having obtained his Masters in, er, computery stuff, had to decide whether to accept a job offer from an unidentified computer company named after a fruit or a job offer from an equally unidentified search engine company named after a lot. Both were things he wanted to do. He made his decision, and will now be joining the ranks of the employed.

[...]

I formally gave him the framed Bernie Mirault/Matt Wagner page from the "Origin of the Riddler" story I wrote, as his Hurrah You Now Have A Job That Does Not Actually Involve Preparing Fast Food Present, and wrote that it was now officially his on the back.

- Neil Gaiman, here

farohji @ 2006-12-12T00:12:00

2006-12-12T05:13:21Z

I've been working on a sort of review of this tour, as it were, as I'll have seen it from the third date to the last, and someone has to document the big gay soap opera that is Panic! At The Disco. Seriously - seriously. Gay is written into the show, actually *written into it*, and then this week at the San Jose show Brendon actually kissed Ryan on the mouth. At the next show, for the scripted gay bit Brendon stood in the middle of the stage, no big gay approach, and just gestured with his wine glass to Ryan, which if you know Panic! at all is like, jesus, whoa. This fandom, man. How can I write for a fandom that writes itself? What is this angsty fanfic that is happening onstage? What's going to happen tonight? Panic! At The Disco is a multi-chaptered WiP that's updated daily, and we're reaching the rousing conclusion, at least of this particular book.

I'm not kidding - I think I'm fucked for fandom after this. What TV show is ever gonna have the two male leads start kissing each other? What other band will start scripting gay into concerts? We've had no hiatus so far (granted, we have one approaching, but that's after months of new canon/footage/pictures almost every day), and basically the arc of this fandom has been made of sunshine, candy, and beautiful dreams: we said, Ryan and Brendon, so pretty, so interesting - porn please; summer tour, mic sharing and gayness - really? What, did we ask for that out loud? Are you there, Panic, it's me, fandom; Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour - actual scripted gay, almostkisses, realkisses!, blatant groping onstage. Seriously, did we create this fandom out of our minds? We said Spencer was hot, Spencer became really, honestly hot. We thought Brent was lame, they brought us Jon Walker. We thought it would be nice if Ryan and Brendon could maybe share a microphone or something, now during I Write Sins Ryan approaches Brendon, waiting for Brendon to grab his dick. Panic, why? Is it because you know we want it? Did we do this with our minds? I seriously could not have created a better band.

- addictedkitten

farohji @ 2006-11-16T21:22:00

2006-11-17T02:33:37Z

Lex: I want this. *holds up shirt made of lead* In lavender.
Store clerk: Er. I'm afraid it doesn't come in--
Lex: I'm Lex Luthor. It comes in lavender.

It takes a powerful man to wear some shades of purple and still be intimidating. Bruce could pull it off, but Bruce could wear pastel pink with duckies printed on it and be intimidating. In fact, he'd probably end up more so.

- xanos

---

The squirrel reign begins! ...that's "reign" not "rain"... because that would be uncomfortable for everyone and every squirrel concerned.

- David Hewlett, here

---

Jack's tongue appears to be the world's greatest cure-all. I think I'd constantly be faking injuries if I worked at Torchwood. "Jack, I hit my head; I might have a concussion! Make out with me, quick, just in case."

- darthtall, here

farohji @ 2006-11-12T00:33:00

2006-11-12T05:34:16Z

Unfortunately, the extent of information about Canadian politics down this far south goes something like this: Canada has a government? News at 11!

- Tey

farohji @ 2006-10-28T23:21:00

2006-10-29T03:22:09Z

I would say Liefeld is the Michealangelo of the comic book world.He draws just like a giant mutant turtle with only three stubby fingers...

- darth_buttocks

farohji @ 2006-10-20T23:37:00

2006-10-21T03:38:12Z

We wrote a book together, taking separate halves (he finished his long before I finished mine), and then we wrote dozens of humour articles for sundry magazines, respectable and otherwise (the otherwise paid much better) together and with other writers (mostly the hilarious Eugene Byrne with occasional contributions from Phil Nutman and Stefan Jaworzyn), under the bank account of "The Peace and Love Corporation".

We haven't seen each other or even spoken for years, although the bank account still exists, and contains several pounds, and Eugene, as custodian of the account, emails us both every year and lets us know that it's still there. Our current plan involves not ever taking anything out of the bank account and then, using the miracle of compound interest, in several thousand years' time OWNING THE GALAXY, before being wiped out in the stock market crash of October 3719.

- Neil Gaiman here