fidgetknickers @ 2007-08-10T21:29:00

2007-08-10T20:29:49Z

As introductions go, I happen to be shit at them. So, instead...

Hi, I'm Vee, and here is a picture of me with my pants on my head. Courtesy of leoshan, if I remember rightly.

I like it, because although I look like a complete moron and you can see my goddamn belly hanging over my jeans, for once, my legs look leg sized, as opposed to having the girth of a small child XD

As an added bonus, here is a picture of me and Kye (son_of_darkness), both wearing my pants on our heads.

Aren't we hotties!!

And here is an example of how I frequently TMI all over my journal.

So, a few months ago (like, March, I think), I had my nipples pierced. I quickly discovered, with much help from a stiff breeze, followed by the generous assistance of a couple of the t00bs (and their tongues) that I had developed what I now fondly call my Magic Sex Nipples. Because seriously, touch these babies? You will have me writhing in your lap within SECONDS. Mostly, this is fine - I tend to wear padded bras, so I usually don't have too much trouble - and my recent adventures while wearing a bikini are a story for another time. Because right now I want to talk about Magic Sex Dreams. Facilitated by the Magic Sex Nipples (referred to from now on as MSNs).

I found out, not so long ago (maybe two months) that by sleeping with my top off (I tend to sleep on my front) I could pretty much guarantee getting good dreams. By good, I mean, you know. Goooooood. I figured it was to do with the MSNs, and tested my assumption by spending a week sleeping with them taped up, inside a bra, and with a top on. No dreams. First night with all the protection off? Man, I woke up so many times panting I think I steamed up the window.

So I bought a warmer duvet, and took to sleeping in just jammy bottoms. This has been all well and good (apart from the frequent incidents of waking up horny and late for work) until now.

There I was, sleeping quite happily, and enjoying a rather intricate and seemingly unsexy dream about me having travelled back in time. The entire dream I had this sense of excitement, because I was going to meet myself. (This comes, I think, from reading a multi chaptered HP fic wherein Harry travels to several alternate realities, and meets himself.) I was literally trembling with excitement at the prospect, until the point when the other me walked in the door. It was this version of me. She screamed, and I squealed, and we hugged, and yammered at each other...and then we had sex.

It was awesome. Her back was just like my back!! She liked all the things I like! We weren't at all embarrassed by each other! And it carried on for aaaaages.

Until. In addition to having my nipples pierced, I wear bracelets on both wrists. I must have gone to pull an arm out from beneath myself in my sleep, because I was suddenly woken by agonized squawking. It took me a second to realise that it was ME making a noise like a shagging cat, and a further second to realise that what had in fact woken me was one of my bracelets (on my left wrist) being caught on my right nipple bar, and dragging it so far over that the ball on the other end had almost gone through the piercing.

Can we say OUCH?!

So, instead of having delightful MSNs today, I spent much of the day walking around with one hand clamped protectively over my very sore right boob - I may have, at one point, yelled 'STAY AWAY FROM MY BOOB! Please.' at the poor unsuspecting shelf stocking boy in Tesco, who reached across me to put a carton of orange juice in its place on the shelf.

Does this mean I'm going to sleep with a top on tonight? *Shakes Magic 8 Ball* Annnd, here's your answer XD