[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Suz's LiveJournal:
| Monday, July 21st, 2008 | |
| 11:06 pm | This is my irrational face! Oh Jesus Christ. Yes, I know I've probably misheard or misinterpreted or SOMETHING, but I am so. Fucking. Angry. Walking home from drama, and there are some kids yelling something from the other side of the street as I walk past the Stroud. I recognise them as boys from my street but don't really pay any attention - I figured they were yelling at a friend on my side of the street. Then it occurs to me they're going through names, trying to remember mine. "Hey! Susan! Sarah! Susannah! Hey!" I still figure they're talking to someone else. Then I hear them going: "Hey! Where's your mum? Hey! Is your mum around? She said she'd pick us up!" And I look over, pretty startled, trying to figure out who they're talking to, and they turn to each other and start snickering and giggling and what the actual fuck. Part of me is kind of like - wait, what? So I just keep walking (... okay, so I gave in to my instincts and yelled at them to tell them they were sick fucks, but no louder than I needed to to get my voice to carry across the street) and they start following me. "Sarah! Sarah! Where's your mum?" More snickering. GAH. Eventually they got bored and left but... Just, I mean. What. I'm also surprised how angry I am. Interesting. |
| 2:28 pm | With your carefully-designed swimsuit you get an even suntan... Just got back from Amsterdam, which means that three of the four trips I'm doing this month have went wonderfully. First was Inverness. Although I posted from Inverness I don't think I really explained it - Vertigo Theatre, my drama group, were involved in an exchange organised by the National Theatre of Scotland. Groups from all over Scotland. Every day was action-packed: up nice and early at the hostel, then off to Eden Court Theatre for two two-and-a-half hour workshops a day, dinner, and two short plays by the participating drama groups a night. The theatre itself was brilliant, almost labyrinthe, with all sorts of out-of-sequence floors and stairs going off at odd angles and workshop rooms that jutted out over the street. We did horror make-up (I'm still proud of the slit throat I gave ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} pianobymidnight, playwrighting, ensemble movement, physical theatre, stand-up comedy... almost every workshop I was dreading (the first movement workshop in particular, and the stand-up one) turned out to be absolutely fantastic, though I wish lighting had been a little more... interactive. (Learning how to coil cables doesn't count.)And it was such a relief, that I was able to make friends without much freaking out. I met some really awesome people there, who I'm staying in touch with. A good omen for St Andrew's, I think. \o/ Of course, the minute I got back from Inverness I was off to St Andrew's for two nights, with Joan etc. :D I now know where it is I'm going to be living in two month's time - right next to the coast! Awesome. It's such a beautiful town, I can't wait. Amsterdam was interesting. We stayed in a shabby-but-clean hotel/pub in Warmoestraat, one of the busiest and oldest parts of the city centre: narrow streets full of tourists and pimps and policemen and weirdos, bikes and scooters weaving in and out of pedestrians heading towards the hundreds of coffeeshops and bars and restaurants and sex shops (and, one street over, the Red Light district). We went to Anne Frank's house, which was incredibly surreal - the outside has all been done up, so it looks quite modern, and the inside is unfurnished as per Otto Frank's request. Instead, each room has displays of some of the personal belongings (or replicas of them) of the eight people that hid there. I read Anne Frank's Diary young, about ten, so it was strange to suddenly be in the place I've had a mental image of for about ten years. We also went on a canal tour. <333 One day I am going to buy a canal boat and do a grand tour of Europe that way, I swear to god. Anyway. Tomorrow we're performing Tam O'Shanter for some Estonians and Finnish as a pre-cursor for taking it to Liverpool for a week. After that, I will NOT BE GOING ANYWHERE. ... until the Raleigh International reunion, at least. Current Music: Where Do You Go To My Lovely? - Peter Sarstedt |
| Wednesday, June 25th, 2008 | |
| 4:27 pm | WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP Yass! Three important things happened today. I had a guy from the estate agency come up and check out the house. He gave me a probable rental price (better than I expected) and some tips and reassurance about getting the place sorted out. I phoned up SAAS about the whole thing with 'parental contributions'. I just need a professional figure to write a letter confirming that yes, my mother is dead and yes, my father might as well be. I called the financial advisor dude to confirm an annoying but boring and sensible decision on mine and my brother's part. A letter should turn up on Friday morning for me to sign and send back. Things are going well! :D I have Friday and Saturday off, too, to buy clothes for Inverness and do a bit more clearing. I have two pairs of trousers that are wearable, at the moment, and very few tops that I like - but this is because I hate shopping. I can't shake the feeling that there are certain rules to clothes that I've just never picked up on. And everything seems to confirm this: people seem to chose their clothes to say things about themselves and their place in the world, and these days that makes me nervous. I'm in this horrible between place of beginning to care about my appearance, without having the skills and knowledge to say what I want to be saying. It's like there's this big scary clothes-language I don't speak when all I want to do is wear stuff that doesn't make me look fat. (And don't even start on make-up.) |
| Sunday, June 22nd, 2008 | |
| 10:28 am | It's the gate! It's the gate! ... we don't have a gate! I've only been off antibiotics for two months and I'm beginning to suspect I'm getting some kind of chest infection again. It's worst immediately after I wake up and just after rehearsals, and I spent two days not really able to talk. LUNGS >:( Very busy lately. We have a show tonight, though, which should free up a bit of time during the week. Added to my to-do list are items like "check out auction house", "contact council about interring mother's ashes at the Heritage Loch", "phone SAAS and ask why the hell they're demanding to know my parents' income when I don't have any and explained this on my forms", "confirm Important Financial Decision with Financial Advisor" and a bunch of things I can't remember right now. I'm going to have a happy fun day once I've got the bulk of the clearing done where I Seriously, lungs, stop this. I need to breathe. I bought Guitar Hero and I love it forever! :D I'm so terribly impressed with the wireless guitar controller thing. It works even when I'm out in the hall! Not facing the PS2 at all! Technology amazes me. I squealed (very painfully, since at the time I'd mostly lost my voice) when I saw it has Monkey Wrench on the track list. It's like 14-year-old!Suzanne's dream come true, with no effort necessary. :D I spent last night researching the whole International Development thing, since that's what I'd like to get into. Approaching university from the perspective of a means to a (specified) end is kind of interesting: it's helping me to prioritise things. For example, I really should have a second language. And it's making me wonder whether I'll take philosophy at all, despite how much I love it, so that I've got space for something more directly applicable to what I want to do. |
| Friday, June 13th, 2008 | |
| 5:41 pm | Blog Like It's The End Of The World So we had a sports day today. I always remember sports day being a bit of a hated ordeal, but surprisingly everyone seemed to be really into it. Half the kids were running like the wind, absolutely pelting it across the football pitch, and even the less-able ones were obviously very determined to join in: staggering along behind them, arms outstretched for balance. I was also touched by the amount of concern the pupils were showing for each other. When I was at school the bad athletes had to fend for themselves, but the attitude I saw today was much more caring. Like, this one chubby little kid from first year stumbled while bolting for the safety of the gym hall, and a half dozen of his classmates fell over themselves to pick him up and drag him off to one side. I think they were making sure he wasn't hurt. (They seemed pretty concerned about him knocking his head. All these new health and safety rules have bred a generation of hypochondriacs - I mean, I really doubt they had to be so worried about brain damage of all things!) Seriously, man, what a day. You could hear the screams of excitement from the other side of the school, where the janitorial staff was hiding with rakes and bats. :D |
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 | |
| 5:51 pm | Whoo! I am going to Amsterdam. :D |
| Sunday, June 8th, 2008 | |
| 5:25 pm | 'I had a sword...' I wish Hiro were a girl. He gives hope to all us chubby loser geeks out there that no, actually, maybe we're fucking timebenders. Anyway, yes. I approve of Heroes. Not quite finished S1 yet (and I've seen the finale already, albeit in French) but as soon as I do I'm going to have to find what I've missed so far of S2. Or possibly just wait til the whole thing's out on DVD. |
| 12:23 am | 'I can bend space and time!' ^___^  Happy birthday Mikami! Well, ten minutes ago. Whatever. The thing about having the bruv home is I end up feeling like a secretary. "No, Steven's not in right now. Yes, I'll get him to call back. Bye." And the house is wonderfully clean. Yay. Spent all day watching Heroes, and also cutting the front lawn. (I reserve the right to write as Americanised as I like on this). It was obscenely tall. My next door neighbour was working on his garden, too, and we were joking about me putting crop circles into it, so I started cutting all these designs. :D Tomorrow, when I do the back garden, I shall take pictures. Also, found Kusuriyuri and Otherself doing the caramelldansen. Yeah, yeah, old meme, whatever. But it makes me laugh. |
| Monday, June 2nd, 2008 | |
| 9:00 am | Here it comes, here comes the first day So today's going to be a little nerve-wracking, mainly since it's my first day in the school solo; Kerry-Ann and Lorna are doing What's With Work (taking kids out to colleges for vocational classes) and there's no point in me going, too. Things are already pretty quiet, because of the time of year: the kids they work with one-on-one are mostly expelled, and we can't add much to our timetables since the school term finishes in a few weeks. But, this lunchtime I am taking a drama club, so that should be interesting. I found this really interesting article, The Fantasy of Being Thin. The basic topic is that a lot of people tend to... defer the things they want to do until 'once I'm thin'. Not only that, but construct this idea of a false person - the 'real me', the one who does the sort of things we're all supposed to do/want to do - who will only be revealed once you've lost x pounds - adding a sort of guilt factor to doing the sorts of things they enjoy doing... I dunno. It's an interesting article, I think, and helpful. More links! Since I'm in a linking sort of mood, I guess. A cool examination of beauty as the driving force behind Sweeny Todd, and, from the same e-zine, a A Cultural History of Historic Internet Culture. It gave me lolz. Current Music: In Our Bedroom After the War - Stars |
| Saturday, May 31st, 2008 | |
| 11:57 am | 'Take it on the chin, Wear a grin, And recover on your 14 carat yacht - what?' I got paid. OMG. It was awesome. I was sensible, too, and put three quarters of it into my Sensible Bank. The rest of it is for me to play with. Mwahaha. This morning I woke up at seven and was unable to go back to sleep. Hmm. Oddest part of it is that I went to bed at three, figuring I could sleep in. Steven comes home on Thursday! Unfortunately I don't have a single free day for the next month or so. Hopefully we'll get chances to hang out, though, and I bought the old Indiana Jones movies for us to nostalgia over. Also, he's eighteen now, so maybe we will have a drink together or something. How grown-up. :D Well, it's a gorgeous day and I'm off to work in Calderglen. Then off to Buffalo Joe's, which is my new favourite club. Totes going back on the bucking bronco Current Music: Angry Johnny - Poe |
| Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 | |
| 8:12 am | "No, Ichigo, shinigami is NOT Japanese for cat-burglar." There is nothing funnier than watching anime with no subtitles. Trufax. I'm never going to be able to look at Rukia the same way. |
| Monday, May 26th, 2008 | |
| 11:02 pm | 'Don't be a baby! Find something to fight with!' Conference was Not Precisely As Planned, but I enjoyed myself. I like Liverpool, and long train journeys, and we got an awesome Indian meal paid for us and got to watch some neat videos of what the other groups at the festival do in their home countries, so whoo. Also the organisers seem nice. And we bought coffee and a glass of milk in Wigan, so that's another new place to score off my 'Visit Everywhere Ever' checklist. I've decided that when I grow up I want to work for an international aid agency. That'll be my goal during uni, and having a goal should help me prioritise and organise a bit better. Especially since I'll want to do EVERYTHING. It was a decision that timed quite nicely with going to see Iron Man, which was totally awesome. TONY STARK: OMG WAR IS TOTALLY SHIT BTW WE SHOULD BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER ME: FUCK YEAH TONY ILU And tonight I saw Indiana Jones! I can't describe how much Indiana Jones WAS my childhood: the films and the Snes game. Those films/games plus Pitfall probably contributed to my Going To The Jungle thing. In second year I wrote this massive fifty-page long story for English that was essentially a complete rip off of Indiana Jones, but with ME! It was awesome. And then the first time I walked over a real-life creaking, swaying, rotten-plank rope bridge, I hummed the theme under my breath so I wouldn't freak the fuck out. I should go back to the jungle. So anyway, very pleased with the cheesy funness of the whole thing. I literally gasped when we realised there was a cameo from Scrubs!Janitor. Back to work tomorrow. Not sure what I'll be doing, since S1 Camp is back, but it'll probably be fun, whatever it is. And I don't start til 10. Whooo. Current Music: The Violent Femmes |
| Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 | |
| 2:23 pm | I WASN'T THROWING STONES I still like my job. Admittedly it's kind of a difficult job to dislike, considering yesterday I ran a Chumble workshop and played on the Nintendo Wii (is anyone surprised that I suck?), and today we did graffiti arts, and tomorrow we're taking them to Calder Glen, and last week we played ballgames. I like that the kids already know me by name and come up to chat to me during lunchtime etc. :D KID: Hey Suzanne, are you taking us out of Home Eccies today? SUZ: Depends how cheeky you are. KID: :D SUZ: Going up to Morrisons for -- KID: I WASN'T THROWING STONES!! *runs off* SUZ: Uh... Sort of weird to think these tiny little people will be gangly teenagers in a few years. It's interesting, too, how much easier it is once you learn to slip into a sort of persona, and when you realise that you're seeing so many kids a day that it really doesn't matter if they don't think you're the coolest thing since sliced bread. No, really. Or, at least, it doesn't matter if they don't all think you're the coolest thing since sliced bread; even in youth-worker mode, certain kids are going to be more comfortable around certain personalities. Also our base has jigsaw puzzles and beads and other Neat Stuff! We sit and plan sessions with me running my hands through the jigsaw pieces and Lorna running her hands through the beads and Kerry-Anne just sort of looking at us and lots of rattly sound-effects and occasional scrambles to clean up fallen bits and pieces. KERRY-ANNE: We've been asked to do a treasure hunt for the first years. I think we should have them find words to a phrase. LORNA: A phrase? KERRY-ANNE: Yeah, or maybe a question. The winners are the first group to find all the words, figure out the phrase and answer correctly. LORNA: Hmm... what kind of question, though? KERRY-ANNE: I dunno... SUZ: L DO YOU KNOW SHINIGAMI LIKE APPLES K-A&L: ... SUZ: ... I mean I can't think of one either. >.> Tonight at drama we'll be doing character work for our Inverness show, and I'm going to have to lead the discussion since Joan isn't there. (Which means I get paid! Yay!) It'll be interesting, since the show started with our own inner monologues and has turned into something a bit more structured, with more distinct characters; the thing is now to really separate and distinguish the characters from ourselves. Easy enough for me, heh, my character's already pretty different: I'm a lovestruck Shakespeare fangirl. Okay, fine, so the fangirl aspect is still there, but everything else... |
| Saturday, May 17th, 2008 | |
| 2:42 am | Update! I've had a spider trapped under a pint glass in my kitchen floor since last Wednesday. I have named it Sheila. If it stays there any longer it'll practically be a pet. I like my job. :) I'm working with Active Breaks in a local school. The kids are fun - I'm already being pestered to start a drama group and some of the boys know me by name and face already. (Which is more than I can say. Gah. My memory is the suck.) The people I work with are... well, L is lovely and K is selectively okay. The school is a fucking labyrinth though. I guarantee that by the time I figure out the layout it'll be the end of my two-month contract. I'm going to Liverpool next weekend! Helping do prep and meet other participants for the drama group's visit/participation in the festival in August. Should be fun. Been ages since I went anywhere. Ali's hopefully going to come up to the house on Sunday and take several boxes of bric-a-brac - stuff I was trying to figure out how to get to Oxfam - for a charity thing he's holding. Mutually-beneficent arrangement! Yay! This is the latest I've been up all week. My sleeping pattern is still messed-up, but I'm acclaimatising reasonably well. I'm looking forward to letting myself just sleep for as long as I need to, though. |
| Thursday, May 8th, 2008 | |
| 12:36 am | |
| Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 | |
| 2:32 pm | Eeeee, yes! Robert Hynd just called me. They have a job (potentially) for me in Uddingston Grammar and possibly even one in East Kilbride. I've to go up tomorrow to meet with him. EEEE. Job is until June. Thank god. So pleased. Also, been watching Mononoke. So pretteh. <3 |
| Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 | |
| 3:01 pm | Nick Cave was absolutely fucking awesome, btw. Unfortunately I now I have a MASSIVE spider in my kitchen sink, and I have to clean just about every dish, pot and pan I own and I can't see a way for that to happen without me being traumatised for life. Gah. Why do the normal-sized ones never get caught in the sink? I could totally deal with that. I've thrown out about five normal-sized spiders in the past week, without harm occurring to myself or the arachnids in question. D: |
| Sunday, May 4th, 2008 | |
| 9:37 am | Updaaate So. Needs-based scholarship application, subject-based scholarship application and SAAS forms have all been completed. Thank God. I was beginning to feel a bit dirty for whoring out my Tragic Past every five seconds. (At least I know my mum wouldn't have minded; when I got a disappointing result in one of my Highers she tried to convince me to 'march up to the college and explain that your mum has cancer!') Still waiting for accommodation news, but everyone I've spoken to so far has been pretty okay with the idea of me taking out a post-graduate style contract, rather than a first year undergrad one: so, 37-weeks minimum. The Bruv comes home for a fortnight on the 5th of June; my plan is for the whole house to be mostly-cleared by then, so he can help me do his room, the loft and the garden. Still no job. In fact, I have even less of a job than I already did, since the Saturday afternoon Asperger's groups take six-week breaks every now and then. Sigh. I need to get an overdraft. Also, dude, WTF LONDON. Boris Johnson? Are you off your fucking heads? Okay, yes, he is funny, and he is a good writer (even if his main characters are blatant self-inserts), and he's got that cute buffoon type image, but. We have a guy who's against the minimum wage and the Kyoto Treaty, who supported George Bush through two elections, who criticised the Stephen Lawrence inquiry for being 'too PC', who's for fox (and stag!) hunting and who frequently makes racist gaffes (calling black Africans 'pickaninnies' with 'watermelon smiles' and saying that Chinese culture is 'purely derivative') as mouthpiece for the biggest city in the UK? In the run-up to the 2012 Olympics? o_o WTF. It's actually pretty worrying, especially in light of the recent council elections in England. At least in Scotland and Wales, protest votes against Labour don't automatically work in the Tories' favour. :-/ *sigh* Anyway. In less depressing news: I AM GOING TO SEE NICK CAVE TONIGHT. :D Heading over to Emma's for 1pm, we're making a day of it. God knows what I'm going to wear. Considering not taking my antibiotics so I can have a couple of drinks. |
| Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 | |
| 3:46 pm | ALL ABOARD THE FAILBOAT Oh my actual god. I have never, ever known such epic amounts of FAIL to happen all at once. Okay. So. The interview I had today. I found out last night that I needed to print out and fill in a couple of forms before the interview. Since I don't have a printer, I got to the Key about half an hour before my interview, got everything sorted nice and quick and easy. This is when I started coughing. But it didn't seem too bad so, okay, I toddled off for Atholl House. On my way I realised that I wasn't sure which floor I was supposed to be going to. I had an idea that it was floor five, but... well, okay. Still got twenty minutes, plenty of time to check. I got to Atholl House. Except it didn't say Atholl House in front of it. It said 'Edinburgh House'. Mindfreeze. I couldn't remember where Atholl House was. Became convinced it was in Hamilton. Started coughing again in earnest, began to panic, ran over to the council buildings and before I knew it I was having to sit on a bench and hold my head in my hands because I was coughing so hard my eyes were watering and tears were streaming down my face. (Again. This is why I didn't go into work last night.) Then I had the bright idea to take my inhaler, which only made me light-headed and tingly. Long story short: didn't get to the interview. I've phoned them up and asked for another date, but the woman in charge wasn't in so hopefully I'll get a call back. Still getting stabbity pains in lung. Not fun. If I weren't on antibiotics I'd be curled up in bed around a bottle of Morgan's Spiced. I mean... FUCK. Fuck fuck fucking fuck, I really need a job and I had a chance at this one and if I don't get a chance to even interview... Gah. Going to go cry for a bit. Current Mood: FAIL |
| Friday, April 18th, 2008 | |
| 11:15 am | Antibiotics are scary. I've realised one of the reasons I hate going to the doctor is that I'm always sure that I'll be told I'm over-exaggerating/lying/making things up for sympathy or to get out of working or whatever. Does anyone else ever get that? Now that I'm legitimately unwell I'm considering going back to bed for a while. Except really I should tidy my bombsite of a house. And I slept for about ten hours last night. WHAT TO DO Current Music: What I've Done - Linkin Park |
