Fresh from the new cornfield!
Dear Livejournal,

I just thought I'd let you know that I wholeheartedly approve of your recent decision to make Pepsi Max themes and virtual gifts. Personally, I think that people are overreacting, and that this is a great way to go -- it lets people who don't feel like coding announce their loyalty to their favorite fizzy brown soft drink. Certainly, I don't drink Mountain Dew (another Pepsi product) any more, but I'm not thinking of just myself, here, A lot of people are still slavishly devoted to Pepsi and its caffeine-y, sugary goodness! They can proudly display their allegiance to Pepsi, Pepsi gets extra exposure, you get extra ad revenue... it's a win-win-win situation!

May I recommend that you approach Enzyte for sponsorship, next? You can make a neat little tiled background of little blue pills, though I'd suggest fading the tile pattern to near-white so that black text on top of it is still legible. On second thought, I'm sure that the artistic souls over at Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals would make it such a pretty tile pattern that we'd all be happy to use it even if it did make our text a little hard to read.

Just picture how cool this would be! You could embed a midi with that cute little jingle directly into the theme's journal code! Granted, the midi standard doesn't include whistling, but I'm sure that virtual flutes would come very close -- and hey, who wouldn't want to have a journal that plays that theme music for everyone who reads it? And if you felt like a little extra coding, you could put a banana in the top corner of the window, and each time the user used "Current Mood: Confident," it would make the banana a bit larger, until it was so big and impressive it took over half the screen!

And on the subject of mood themes? This would be really fun! Check this out:

Current Mood: confident

And if I didn't feel so confident, I could go with any of the other moods available in that drop-box, such as...

Current Mood: irate

Current Mood: lethargic

Current Mood: worried

Current Mood: stressed

Current Mood: envious

Current Mood: numb

Current Mood: depressed

I think you should give this some thought. After all, millions and millions of people already drink Pepsi; by making a Pepsi Max theme, you're preaching to the choir. Pepsi products have already saturated the market, and what market remains untapped is being firmly held by Coca Cola -- and is therefore likely to remain out of Pepsi's reach. On the other hand, lots of men out there haven't tried Enzyte -- or for that matter, any form of penis enlargement at all! It's practically an untapped market!

Sincerely,
footsie