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RICHARDS: I don't think BOB GELDOF thinks he needs anybody's help. But I wonder if BOB GELDOF has realized that he's way out on a limb. I feel like I'm BOB GELDOF'S only friend. I know the way BOB GELDOF lives. I know everybody else who knows BOB GELDOF. I know that Charlie Watts dished him out a great fucking right hook and that was Charlie Watts saying, "You and I have had it." It was '84 or '85, and BOB GELDOF was wearing my jacket at the time. It really pissed me off. Charlie punched him into a plateful of smoked salmon and BOB GELDOF almost floated out the window along the table into a canal in Amsterdam. I just grabbed his leg and saved him from going out. Meanwhile, my jacket, my favorite jacket, got ruined. Why did I lend him that jacket?

PLAYBOY: What was the fight about?

RICHARDS: It was about absolutely nothing. I had taken BOB GELDOF out for a drink in Amsterdam, so at five in the morning, he came back to my room. He's drunk by now. BOB GELDOF drunk is a sight to behold. Charlie was fast asleep. "Is that my drummer? Why don't you get your arse down here?" Charlie got dressed--in a Savile Row suit, tie, shoes--shaved, came down, grabbed BOB GELDOF and went boom! "Don't ever call me 'your drummer' again. You're my fucking singer."

NEVER DOUBT THE CANON.

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