gabe_speaks

Saw HBP Last Night . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:49:57 GMT

It wasn't bad, actually. I still think the producers are relying too much on our knowledge of the books.

But I do expect loads of Ernie McClaggan stories to pop up, because Freddir Stroma is just as cute as a button.

What did you lot think?

More to come . . .

Cassius, it's over -- Cassius, away!

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 03:10:31 GMT

I have three -- maybe four? Yeah, four! -- Dreamwidth codes to get rid of.

Anyone in need of one?

Let me know!

Okay, so my Expert Fanficcers: Big Bang Question

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:47:33 GMT

What was the first Big Bang?

Well . . . not the first Big Bang, but . . . oh! you know what I meant!

Thanks~

♥♥♥♥

Best. Website. Ever.

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 09:27:43 GMT

http://www.changar.com/archives/go.html

Loved. It.

Full. F'ing. Stop.

Hly Spt! That Could Have Ending HORRIBLY!!!!

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:22:47 GMT

Rupert Grint had SWINE FLU!!!

Thankfully, it was a 'mild case'.

And the photo they used of him is completely adorable. BEHOLD!!!

Myspace is still good for something . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:09:36 GMT

Golly, Molly . . . !

Oh, this movie can go very wrong . . . and a Question for Writers

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 02:38:24 GMT

So I used to stay clear of Netflix's Instant Watch because I had always thought that it was for all the B-Movies and reject movies that no one wants to waste time renting. Sometimes, I would watch really old movies -- like the entire Porky's trilogy, for instance -- or TV shows, when they finally started putting them up for instant viewing.

Every now and again, however, I'm pleasantly surprised when I take a chance on a movie. I did that with Evil (2003), a.k.a "Ondskan". I mean, the premise . . . it was alluring, compelling, tempting.

Okay, really I just recognized one of the stars, a former AC&F model by the name of Andreas Wilson.

Oh, who's that, you might ask?

Well, don't mind if I did!

And I did.

And it wasn't that bad, actually. Apparently, it had been nominated for Best Foreign Film at the 2003 Oscars. Or 2004. Whatever. The Premise?

Adapted from a best-selling novel, this Swedish drama follows rebellious teenager Erik (Andreas Wilson) as he's expelled from high school for fighting and sent to the prestigious Stjärsnberg Academy. Having endured many beatings from his father, Erik is dismayed to face a similar threat from the academy's senior students, who bully the younger ones mercilessly. But this time, Erik is determined not to crack and lash out in violence.

Has anyone else seen this? If you have seen it, how'd you find it? I had some issues with the movie and its expectations on the viewers, but I have to say I was sad that the movie ended -- I wanted to see more! So anyway, now I'm risking it with another movie, this one a deliverable. In the Blood, starring even more cuties. The premise of this one?

Finally ready to explore his attraction to men, college jock Cassidy (Tyler Hanes) goes out with sexy Victor (Carlos Alberto Valencia). But in the middle of their foreplay, he has a disturbing vision of his sister's death, which may be linked to the recent murders on campus. A serial killer is on the loose, and the only way for Cassidy to have more psychic visions to help catch the murderer is to embrace his homosexuality completely.

"Okay. So this could go terribly, terribly wrong," comes immediately to mind. Tyler Hanes, by the way, is reportedly dating the gay boy -- or one of them -- who is in As the World Turns, Van Hansis, I think. Well . . . at least they were dating in 2008. Who's Tyler Hanes, you ask?

Van Aren't they a cute couple?!?! Hansis is the blond. For those keeping score, he was also the gay son in the wonderfully funny "Die, Mommy--Die!" And don't mind if I did. On either one.

Okay, so back to the movie. So far, it's been good. The acting's fine and the premise is interesting. I mean, the closetted gay boy is trying to deny his feelings. The more he experiments, the more psychic flashes he gets. Being about his sister, the flashes would be enough to send him deeper into the closet, but since there's a murder involved -- adn three girls have already been murdered on campus -- he starts to realize that he needs to explore deeper in order to, ahem, explore deeper. Balls deeper.

Okay, well, not that deep -- but one could dream.

Anyone seen this?

So . . . a nice idea, a gorgeous cast [the gay ones are actually gay, if you can believe that], solid acting. Mostily. I'll let you know how it pans out.

I've a feeling, since it involves denial, psychic premonitions, the murder of someone close to the one in the denial, and a rejected one-night-stand, that they are all inter-related, probably ironically. Like the premonitions send Cassidy into the bed of Victor [they even show a gun], then Cassidy has the visions and runs away without paying Victor, Victor finds Cassidy at the University and there's an altercation, and Cassidy's sister gets shot by Victor while trying to intervene. And Cassidy will keep tempting fate, because he wants to know what happens to his sister, by messing with Victor, which will only add fuel to the fire, leading to the murder of Cassidy's sister. Okay, that's my prediction. I'll report on what actually happens.

Okay, now the question for the writers: How well do you know your characters? This can go to really any fiction, including fanfiction [regardless of whether you deal with already-established canonical characters, or less fleshed out tertiary characters]. I was reading "The Art of Dramatic Writing" by Lajos Egri, and there's a section on knowing your characters completely. There's a list of questions that you ask yourself about the characters, ranging from basic physical attributes, to hoeps and dreams, to thougths on sex, to intelligence/creativity level.

How do you lot feel about that? Do you find it necessary to already know the life -- and death -- of your characters before you start writing them? How much do you feel you should know? Do you find that your characters, once you know them this extensively, write themselves? Or does knowing them too much put them in a little box in the corner that you find too hard to write them out of if need be?

An Open Letter to Tom Felton . . . and a Day with the Moms.

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:29:44 GMT

Dear Tom Felton,

Please take note—

—you always look better with hair covering that fivehead.

With warmest regards,

G~abe

I had a wonderful day with my mom. We went to Half-Priced Books so she could renew her stock of tawdry romance novellas, I set up her Blackberry's internet connection, and then we went to Denny's, where we both had their new Grand Slamwich. You can tell just from the name what that sandwich's ingredients are: sausage, egg, bacon, cheese, and ham slapped between two pieces of bread. My arteries scream just re-thinking about it . . . but—oh!—was it delicious.

[If you should try it sometime, and you all should at least once before you leave this mortal realm, do yourself a favor and ask for sourdough bread. Yum, yum gimme some!]

I bought a [supposedly] true story of a British intelligence officer who, after being shot in the head, developed psychic powers. It's written pseudo-biography style, but has those Bartimaeus-like footnotes on almost every page, where the author says "hey, I don't want to take up space and time describing what such-and-sch is . . ." before basically describe, in detail, such-and-such and so-and-so. Still, it looked fun! And funny.

I also scored a 1969 edition of Funk & Wagnalls Modern Guide to Synonyms, which will go nicely with my 1939 edition of the Funk & Wagnalls Standard Encyclopedia and the 1931 Modern English Dictionary. That's been my new thing, old dictionaries and thesaural publications. Why Funk & Wagnalls? No particular reason; I just keep finding them. I'd like to score some old British ones, but they'd probably be really expensive. Is there an equivalent of Half-Priced Books in the UK?

Anyways. Then my mom helped me box up a bunch of old programming books and Photoshop/Flash books that are like . . . four and five years out-of-date, and we drove them to the library in the less . . . savory part of town. We just set the boxes in front of the door with a note saying "donated". My hope is that some kid will see the book, pick it up because of the pretty colors, get hooked on it, then become a bad-ass graphic designer or programmer or web developer or whatever. It could happen, right? So best to donate books like that to libraries than give them to Half-Priced Books to [maybe] make money from.

[To their credit, they do donate to libraries, a lot.]

And now, I'm sitting here, writing a bit on Colliver, a bit on MarcJam, working more on my CGabrielWright website, reading a very interesting plot outline for a certain someone's hd_careeerfest [I think that's what it's called, innit?] story, and perusing the world of LJ. I was going to go to Chicago for Pride, but I just spent $205 on books for second summer session of school. AND THAT'S JUST ONE CLASS!!!

~le sigh~

No worries. I've made $57 last 2 weeks before. I can do it again!

So that's that. Anything interesting afoot?

G~abe

Today's Link Spam: Fear the gay chicken

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:56:56 GMT

I . . . don't know if this qualifies as NSFW or not. But you may want to turn the volume down just a smidge.

:lol:

Desktop Meme: Herein You Can Learn A Lot About Gabe

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:52:37 GMT

. . . and why he doesn't get shit done.

BEHOLD!

[click to enlarge -- if you dare! WARNING: The actual size is 3360 × 1050. Far from D/U-F.]

So . . . what does this reveal?

[+] First, Gabe must like his screens/icons/text tiny!!!
Not really, I have a dual-screen set up, which I thought would help with productivity. And it totally does! [If by productivity you mean lazing about on the interwubz. I can watch two porns at the same time! . . . or two movies . . . . or a news broadcast and a movie . . . or a Youtube video and a porn . . . or two porns.]

So going from left to right:

[+] Starts off innocently enough. A cloud desktop . . . because anything else would distract. I had a screenshot of the Honda Insight, because I want either that or a Prius [the next-gen Insights are supposed to get 100MPG or some such], but was -- you guessed it -- thus distracted by the car's shiney.

[+] Firefox . . . multiple tabs, of which you can only that 8 tabs are open, but the blue-arrows pointing left and right reveal the truth: I've 16 tabs open at the time of this writing. Notice what occupies the majority of these tabs? Yes, LJ friends. Yes, I do read your entries. And pir8fancier provided even more time-wasting goodiness by linking to a story-art combo that then got me thinking about the socio-political environment immediately following HP:DH. Oh, any recs, by the way?

[+] [+] And wtf is Ning??? It's yet another ~~time-waster~~ social networking thingy-mah-bobby. Lckily, I'm only looking at it for school purposes -- I swear! -- because I can't really join another ~~time-waster~~ social networking thingy-mah-bobby because FB, LJ, and Myspace are quite enough, thank you very much!

[+] Then you have The Clutter. The Clutter is on the second monitor. You see Sound Forge audio files, an Ableton Live production file, a folder that contains the audio book for The Historian [it's creepy!], and various install folders for programs I'm considering installing or just researching. Some of those folders have been there for two months, touched once maybe twice. I should probably get rid of them, huh?

[+] Then you have Flash CS 4 Professional. You're seeing one of the scenes from my personal Dj page, which I'm re-vamping mainly as something to put on my resume and pro-reel because I'm applying for a T-Comm position at University of Indianapolis [wish me luck!] and only really have two things to put on it. One of the two is a video from about a year-and-a-half ago, which I'll actually upload here pretty soon. It's kinda funny!

[+] Finally, not one but TWO mail clients! Outlook 2003 and Thunderbird. Outlook is for school accounts only, which is where I got the request to look at Ning.com, which admittedly started the whole time-wasting spiral. Thunderbird has all my accounts like gabe.artisan and gabe.speaks, for LJ and Myspace notifications. It also has my bill-pay stuff. As you can see, I was reading from my gabrie.artisan gmail account when I decided to do the Desktop Meme.

So there you have it. A complete break-down of "Why Gabe Can't Finish Half of What He Starts". :lol: Well . . . I finish all the things I get paid for and get grades for, so I'm not entirely bad . . .

NEXT: I think I'm gonna make a tute on using Liquid Story Binder, yWriter, and OneNote for those of us who need help organizing the worlds we create, be it fanfic or original fic. I'm a hardline fan of LSB, but yWriter and OneNote are also amazing tools.

ADDENDUM-1: Oh, I was serious about fic-recs that deal specifically with the socio-political world immediately after HP:DH. Pairings are irrelevent, it can even be het, so long as it's well conceived and well written.

ADDENDUM-2: If you haven't done the Desktop Meme in awhile, I urge you to hit that PRNT SCRN button and post away! Alternatively, if you have done it, link me to it! I love Desktop Memes more than most other memes. I dunno why. Don't judge me! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I just finished reading "Genesis" by Bernard Beckett . . . and Dear K.J. Parker . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 05:49:35 GMT

. . . and just got kicked in the gut by the ending.

Seriously? Why didn't I see that coming???

So of course, now I need to re-read it and peep out all the signs.

If you haven't read this, please -- do yourself a favor.

And now, an open letter to K.J.Parker . . .

Dear K.J. Parker,

Please stop with the semi-colons.

They don't make your writing smarter, especially when half of them are inappropriate, half are superfluous, and the other half are plain ol' wrong.

I just started the first of three stories in the Engineer Trilogy and if I should never see another semi-colon again in my entire life, it'd be six lives too late.

Thanks for ruining my favorite punctuation mark.

Jerk.

With love,

~Gabe.

Argh! This is why you just read, Gabe -- just read . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:43:39 GMT

In light of my previous question about Spider-Woman and Wolverine, I began to search the 'net to see if Spider-Woman's history had been ret-conned . . .

Let's just say that, yet again, my own curiosity hath spoilt me.

~le sigh~

I'll never learn.

OMG I Need Help from My Comic-Lovin' Friends!

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 05:28:15 GMT

Particularly fellow Marvel-ites . . . specifically, fans of NEW AVENGERS.

Because something is driving me absolutely crazy.

Namely, the interaction between Wolverine and Spider-Woman.

The writer has them acting as though they know each other in reputation only. In fact, Wolvie treats her like some . . . kid.

But Jessica Drew [Spider Woman]'s best-friend was Misty Knight, who was roommates with Jean Grey for a time [pre-Phoenix]. Misty Knight was dating Iron Fist -- who also knows Wolvie and was roomies with Luke Cage [who also knew Wolvie]. So Wolvie's worked with Iron Fist . . . with Luke Cage . . . and Spider-Woman has tussled with the X-Men, tussled along side the X-Men . . . she's had the same primary nemsis as Wolvie -- namely the Viper and Silver Samurai . . . and she's tussled along side Wolverine several times, including a long stint when she was 'powerless' in Madripoor, where Wolvie went through great pains to rescue her from a Japanese body-possessing demon. Wolvie knew who she was and knew her real name . . . so . . . what's up with that?

Does anyone follow The New Avengers??? Do they deal with this later on? Was their past history ret-conned?

HALP!!!

Oh, and hello all!

Promised Photos -- Detroit Electronic Festival & Indy Pride 2009

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:56:59 GMT

Alrighteethen!

So . . . three weekends ago, I went on my annual mini-vaca up to Detroit for MOVEMENT: The 10th Annual Detroit Electronic Music Festival. Last year, if you remember, I posted pics of scruffy!Gabe. Well, I was only marginally scruffy this year, and I've finally uploaded the photos -- and photos from this past week's Indy Pride -- to Picasa [which I recommend, if only for its ease of use].

Preview:

Link: Movement/DEMF

I was in the Pride Parade this past Saturday morning for work. So I didn't get a lot of parade photos, but I did score loads of nice shots post-Parade. I seem to have been on the hunt for cute dog photos this year. That's probably because last year people went all out gayifying and prettifying their canine companions. It was more subdued this year, and I was with a friend who brought her dog, too.

Preview:

Link to Indy Pride Stuff

Link: Indy Pride

I had left my camera on all day, and set to auto-focus, so it ran out of juice. After that, I just used my HTC Touch Pro camera phone. And here they are . . .

Link: Pics from the Camera

I hope you have as much fun looking at the pics as I had taking them and being in some of them. Enjoy!

Oh, and if you go to your city's Pride Parade, please let me live vicariously through you and post your photos!

Another Argument About Language . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 03:48:31 GMT

So I take a couple friends to lunch today—Chinese buffet ftw, btw—and one of my friends and I get into yet another ~~argument~~ ~~discussion~~ ARGUMENT about language, notably idiomatic language.

I say something like, "Idiomatic language doesn't need to be logical. Take 'raining cats and dogs' for instance."

He says, "Well, that saying has a history and is so colorful, it's meaning cannot be misconstrued any other way. No one would ever think it's literally raining cats and dogs—even foreigners!"

Which is a valid point. Then he demands—okay, demands is a strong word—that I come up with another example to prove my assertion.

I couldn't. At least not right on the spot.

See, I feel that arguments and discussions should be met with an clean slate. Examples should pop up, organic to the discussion. I don't have a list of examples stored in my brain to which I can call upon and wield like weapons when the situation permits—I haven't the memory for that! And maybe my poor memory has shaped how I discuss and argue with people. In fact, I'm sure it is.

So after sitting across from my friend and his smug expression for the next 20 minutes, unable even to enjoy my crag rangoon!!!, I gave up. I didn't give in, mind; he knows that I'll think about it for days on end, until an example pops in my head. He stands to take a call from his cell [he is, at least, polite] and excuses himself. I say, "You know we're gonna talk about you behind your back, right?"

He laughs.

Then pauses.

Then walks off.

And it hits me.

THAT is a completely illogical statement. And I mean the exact—technical—opposite of what I said.

In literature, when someone walks away, and the other person is saying something after them, it usually reads something like:

Rob stood up and stalked off.

"Yeah, walk away like a coward, you coward!" I yelled to his back.

Logically—and technically—speaking, if I'm saying something behind your back, then I'm saying something to your face. I mean, if your back is to me, then I'm looking at the front of your actual back. If I'm behind your back, then I'm back to facing you. Strictly speaking. The phrase behind your back is logically inconsistent with the idea of fronts and backs, and would be more consistently represented with talking at your back, or even talking behind you, but not behind your back.

My friend came back to the table, smug look now vanished. I didn't say a word. I think I had made my point.

Addendum: Yes, I know I'm being completely nit-picky about backs and fronts and fronts of backs, but that was my initial point. Idiomatic language need not be logical or literal or even grammatical. We say things all the time that we accept at face value without thinking about what the literal meaning is. No one would ever think that "behind your back" would mean "to your face", but literally, that's what it means. I think. Idiomatically, of course, it means something totally different. Which is the point of idiomatic language. And thank gawd for it!

What !?!? 2 Gabe Posts in as Many Days?

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 09:31:18 GMT

Surely you jest!!

But this is no illusion.

I came across a new 'boy-band' named Vice on Myspace. Although I'm mostly on Facebook nowadays, I still use Myspace to find new music and comedians and whats-not. So I get this friend request from Vice, and they're all secretive and stuff. "Sign up to receive a password to go to a website once we send you an email letting you know when you can preview some music!"

Well . . . as I've said before, I'm a sucker for marketing. So I'm immediately interested.

I sign up.

A month later, I get the email with the password.

Two weeks after that, I get the web-link for the sneak peek.

And this is what I see

And I immediately think of my Next-Gen-lovin' LJ-friends, because . . . come on . . . if that's not Albus, James, Scorpius, and Hugo in a boy-band, then I don't know what is!

In fact, didn't someone write that story already? abusing_sarcasm? draykonis??

~sigh~

Their music is . . . odd, for a boy-band. Some are very danceable, but nothing radio-dancey. Of the four songs I've heard, there is a ballad that's nice, I guess, if you like typical boy-band ballads. But their Adam-Ant-wannabe "war paint" leaves a lot to be desired. I mean, if you're gonna do it, then do it. Here, let me show you . . .

That's how you do poncey war paint! And pirate-glam, too, in case you're gonna try a glittery eye-patch for your next promo shot.

Okay, that is all. Oh, and if you decide to see Drag Me to Hell, you should probably see it drunk or stoned. I mean, it's not bad, but it's definitely not something you should see without chemical assistance. Oh, and bring ear plugs, because Raimi ain't scerd to scare you by bloody ears.

I've Decided That I Hate Vampire Stories

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 05:32:37 GMT

And not just Harry Potter creature!fic that are vampires, but vampire stories in general.

And not just Twatlight, or that horrible Lost Boys II, or the irredeemable Dracula:2000, but ALL vampire stories.

[Yes, there's is an exception, which I'll explain at the end.]

I hate the contradiction of the vampire. And no, not that metaphoric contradiction (tho' I do hate those, too), but the contradiction of how a vampire unlives. For instance, if they are dead, then they are dead. That means, no erections [ERECTIONS HAPPEN BECAUSE OF BLOOD -- HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN THIS?!?!?!?!], no sex [if they are dead, then they cannot feel; if they cannot feel, then why would they have sex?], no "sweet taste of blood" because the vamp is dead [which means no taste buds]. In fact, you'd have to create a whole new set of physiological behaviors to satisfy my distaste for how we normally treat the "biology" of vampires.

I hate the idea that vampires can hear heartbeats and smell their victims. Okay, so I can't justify a story about blind and deaf monsters -- tho' some flailing beast in the middle of the room is at least good for one scary moment -- but I can't abide the "oh, I don't need to breathe, yet somehow I've lungs enough to inhale and receptors strong enough to register it as a smell. (Oh, and it's better than a living person's smell, too, in case you're wondering.)

I hate that a vampire is supposed to be a dead thing, yet their eyes never dry out . . . their belly never gets full, yet they don't have the poops and the pees . . . and they've moisture enough to speak. Oh, and speaking requires a fair bit o' breathing too, by the way. Unless they're speaking in voiceless

I hate all the metaphors for vampires, most especially the blood=power shtick. And the mirror-soul one pisses me off. Why would we still hold on to that bit o' nonsense? If vampires don't cast reflections, then they are invisible. Period. Being undead doesn't change the laws of physics, dammit! Granted, this could make for "interesting" "story-telling" cinematographically speaking, but even then it's hackneyed.

I hate the stupid ways of dispatching a vampire. I'm sure you can list them:

--> stake through the heart

--> burning

--> beheading

--> silver bullet

Anything I miss? Anything in here that cannot kill a regular dude?

I hate all the stupid safeguards against vampirism.

--> garlic

--> daytime

--> rivers and streams

--> no invitations

Really? Just go into your house sandwiched between two streams -- and stay there at night, eating plenty of garlic -- and don't invite people into your home. The sort of world that would create this sort of folklore gibberish, I hate that world too. Only bad people go out at night. Don't invite people to your home. Stick to yourself. Don't live in cities. Fuck. That. When I read vampire stories, I can't get past this part. I can turn a twitchy eye to some of the biological parts of it, but this part . . . this very real part . . . guh. I'm getting sick -- and pissed off -- just thinking about it.

I hate that vampire stories touch on the soul issue, yet never really deal with it. JK Rowling dealt with the soul issue better than most modern writers of vamp stories. At least she tells us upfront that without a soul, you're a husk of a person -- alive, yet lifeless. I can deal with that. But to call a vampire soulless and not go on about what that means . . . ? And no I don't fall for the "well, that's why they're so mean!" excuse, either. They're mean because they need to survive and they need to kill, basically, to survive. They can't be mean because they need to survive AND they are soulless. That's cheating! And if they truly are parasitic, then they're not evil. Not really. Detrimental to our health, surely, but not evil. So in accepting the vamp-as-evil trope, we're basically saying that the people around which time the folklore[s] started, took hold, and evolved "got it right" about good and evil. And I don't think they did. Not by a long shot. [Maybe that's why I don't mind the bio-/genetic vampire stories so much . . . more on that later.]

I hate that even the less religious vampire stories have vamps stronger and faster than humans. Why? How? Since they feel no pain, I can see them running longer than a human runs, thus being able to outrun them; I can see them punching through walls and doors and even lifting slightly heavier stuff because they wouldn't feel the pain of impact or the strain of lifting; but I cannot see them as running faster or being stronger than a regular Joe.

In fact, my scenario above kinda makes it scarier. You can defeat a vamp, but you better do it quickly. You can hide from a vamp, but you better hide well, because they can run longer than you can, since they don't get winded.

You'd think, in fact, that the older the vampire is, the less sexual they become, because after centuries of not feeling ANYTHING, why would they even care to think that this one last time will be different? Yes, you could write a story about a vampire coming to terms with their sensation-less, emotion-less existence, and trying one last time to feel something -- anything -- and how that truly kills him making him as dead on the inside as he is on the outside . . . er, okay, strike that you read that. That's actually a pretty good idea. But no one writes about that stuff, do they? No one writes about the logical existence of a vampire, what it would mean to live that logical existence, nor do they bring the story to its logical conclusion. They just use magic or the arcane or the supernatural to explain away the contradictions of vampirism, most of the time. Now, there are bio-vamps, whereby the story revolves around a race of meta-humans, who need blood for whatever reason, but even they sometimes make the mistake of using 'dead' and 'undead' and shit like that. Big mistake. I'll take a "genetically baseline human whose condition and physical needs look a lot like vampirism", I'll even take the whole psychic vampire thing, but regular vampire stories, with all the baggage and unnecessary eroticism and master-slave nonsensery . . . ? Bah!

That said, aside from the above exceptions, I don't mind the story of vampires whereby the fact that they are vampires is unimportant. Or if the story is a comedy, or satire, or something of the sort. So Christopher Moore's two vamp stories are safe. It's examining something other than vampirism. Also stories that deliberately blow the folklore bits to smithereens are safe. Alex Bledsoe's Blood Groove, for all its faults, flaws, and poor story telling, is kinda safe from my Anti-Vamp Ire [AVI] because he points out the ridiculousness of many of the vampire weaknesses. No rampant killing needed. No allergies to garlic. Sensitive skin, sure, but no nocturnal requirements. No crosses. Crossing streams allowed. Crossing thresholds uninvited allowed. Certainly, you still have stupid shit like hypnosis and transmorphing and the super speed/strength, and the sex, but . . . okay, never mind, Blood Groove is not safe, it's just not as in danger as the other stories.

Also, as I mentioned before, the vampire-as-a-species stories are all right, too. Well . . . so long as they don't make the mistake of referring to their condition as being 'undead'. If they are fuckin' dead, then they should be rotting. Period. If it's magic that keeps them alive, then there had better be magic readily accessible in the world. That, by the way, is how I accept BtVS/AtS beyond the simple "it's a cool show" fact. I mean, there's magic in the world. I still don't like the idea of them being soulless. Whedon could have simply explained that a bit better. I'll accept a heaven and a hell in a world with magic, and I'll even accept that having a soul means that you can get into one or the other. But just saying they are soulless without explaining what a soul is for, and what having one or losing one means, simply will not do. That's probably why I hated AtS's final season, because it dealt with the Angel-Soul issue so much. Any of the Angel-Soul stories, I tend to hate.

Okay, well, I'm done ranting. Yes, I realize that there are cool implications in dealing with vampires in stories. Maybe I hate vampire stories because I hate the stories that writers are writing. Yes, there are nice implications of a world in which vampires exist. But no one writes it. I'd love to read a story -- or see a movie -- that explains, or investigates, how a society would really have had to evolve in a world where vamps live with humans. How integrated would they have been. Certainly there would be a bit of subjugation involved. But a world where we have the nuke and a shit load of military boys is a world where humans are no punk bitch. And a vampire who has seen man crawl from a potato famine to destroying nearly an entire city -- two actually -- with a single device would hardly have the holier-than-thou attitude that we see in Blood Groove, True Blood, Lost Boys, and countless other vamp stories/shows/movies.

I mean, think about it: a world like Twatlight's, where the father-vamp dude is a fuckin' doctor?!?! Okay, Edward sulking around Mary Sue all day telling her to leave him alone even as he follows her is uninteresting. Blah. Blah. But showing how a vampire decided to go to Med School to erect a ruse -- AND GOT HIS FUCKIN' DEGREE!!! -- is pretty damned interesting. Well . . . it could be interesting. I mean, I have two RNs for friends and a friend going to med school, and so far, no night classes. The only time they are in class when it's dark is when it's winter time and the sun hasn't come up for their 7:00AM class! Write me THAT story, vampire lovers, and no more nonsense about soulless, dead, undead people who are somehow able to sniff me out of my hiding place.

This said, I cast no aspersions against people who read, write, and love vampire stories of any sort. Altho' I do shake my head in wonderment at Twilight lovers. ;-P

Holy Shit, Pattinson . . .

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sat, 30 May 2009 21:09:32 GMT

Okay, not that I'm cruising for Twatlight info, but I got this in my 'must-read' feed. I think my computer knows what's what.

Holy shit.

Pale + hairy + muscles never really works well. But still, he looks . . . well, a damn right sight better than, say, me in a similar pose.

Speaking of which, last weekend was Detroit Electronic Music Festival -- MOVEMENT. I went with mostly the same friends as last year, but this time had the benefit of a nice Sony camera [tho' its zoom distance was rather wack], so there's loads of photos that I'll be uploading soon. Yes, Gabe is scruffy like last year, but not as much so . . .

In the meanwhile, enjoy Rob.

I know I did.

Just a Note Saying "Hello".

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 10 May 2009 07:41:11 GMT

I will post more and comment more and read more, I promise—school stuff, y'know—but I wanted to drop a line to provide the video of the WH Correspondents Dinner, henceforth to be referred to as Obama Zing-A-Thon!

Seriously.

His gay marriage/Ron Steele/Repub-Limbaugh/Cheney/Clinton zingers were . . . ah-MAY-zing(er)!

I ♥ this dude—warts and all.

And the shot of the pirate?!?!?!?!!?!?

Guh.

Will be around more, tho'—miss you all!

HP Fic Meme

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:06:24 GMT

Time Is Making Fools of Us Again
A Harry Potter Fanfic Meme

I've already responded to one prompt.

Pairing: Teddy/James
Prompt: political discussion
Length: any

Response: [ i ] and [ i i ]

Written basically in one sitting and un-beta'd. I went back and caught quite a few errors after reading it a couple times post-posting. Er... yeah. But otherwise, point out any mistakes, bitte. Danke!

Today Starts 24 Hours of My Not Believing A Word Any of You Say...

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 04:21:14 GMT

... unless it's repeated on April 2nd.

That is all.

So I Was Hanging With The Moms Earlier...

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:42:29 GMT

... and she is stuck on the World Baseball thingy that's going on right now--which, by the way, SHOULD be the World Series, fuckers!--and she was watching Japan v Korea [I think]. And I'm quite bored because I hate baseball.... and just when I'm about to leave, what do I see?

Yu Darvish

And who is that, you may ask...?

Needless to say, I watched the entirety of his... uhm... pitching.

And yes, when he was done, so was I.

Yum.

HE'S GAY!!!!

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 03:25:00 GMT

Wow.

I still get excited when there's an openly gay actor—there are still so few!

Apparently, the werewolf in Being Human is a homosexual.

Well, er... not the werewolf... but the actor playing the werewolf: Russell Tovey.

That's cool.

Because you get to see his bum in almost every episode.

Just thought I'd share.

And yes, Mr Tovey, I'll have a bit o' your apple.

And no, Sassy, I'm not done with your 10K. because i know you're gonna ask. ;-P

Semi-Political Hollywood Rant: So Where Were You Three Years Ago?

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 06:39:13 GMT

One of the many things I hated about The Watchmen was its perpetual use of the self-mockery, only it wasn't really self-mockery, but it was... yet, it wasn't.

When you have alternate history stories, you have an opportunity to poke fun at the ridiculousness of our real history. An actor for President — preposterous! A liar and a thief and a convicted felon for President? Unlikely. "Whoever heard of a cowboy running for President?" (Or whatever that line was.) And the movie — like its source — was riddled with such things.

Then tonight, I watched Will Ferrell in his 1-hour routine on HBO. He played George W. Bush. He played it well. Very well. It was funny and it made fun, not only of the Administration for the stupid shit they did and the half-ass attempts at justifying those stupid shitty acts, but also of Congress that basically gave the President everything he wanted, and the public who basically either didn't know any better or didn't care. Oh, we cared enough to make fun of the French and change french fries to freedom fries — hey, at least when the French get pissed off, THEY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. How many times have the French rioted in the last 10 years? Some warehouse workers weren't happy with their pension/severance package, so what'd they do? THEY TOOK THEIR MANAGER HOSTAGE.

Now, I'm not condoning hostage-taking, nor do I approve (necessarily) rioting. But the point is, why make fun of the French when they have the history of SHOWING their government when they feel slighted. What do we do?

We might vote.

Maybe.

But we gotta be pissed, sick, and damn near on the verge of being dirt-poor to drag most of our asses to the polls.

Back to my point...

So in the past two weeks, I've had the pleasure of having The Watchmen preach at me about the silliness of the most recent political history, and then Will Ferrell doing much the same, only far more explicitly. And I have to wonder: where were these people 4 years ago? 5 years ago?

Where was Snyder's traveling pulpit 4 years ago? Oh, yeah... Zombies were more important.

Where was Ferrell's spot-on criticisms of America and the Bush Administration 4 or 5 years ago? Oh, yeah... it must have been buried in those leather-bound books at Ron Burgundy's love pad. Fair enough.

What about 2 & 3 years ago, then, when the average American was finally catching up with the rest of the world in the realization that their President, his Administration, and his policies and excuses and 'reasoning' were all shit?

Oh, yeah, half-naked [and surprisingly un-gay] Spartans and bewitching us with the tale of Ricky Bobby, respectively.

But now that we have Obama in the office, now it's okay to point down to us from their bareback position atop their horse and say, "Your President sucked and you were all idiots for letting this happen to yourself!" Nice and safe, snug under the comfort of your Democratic Congress and your Democratic Administration lead by a man who has sense [we hope].

Must be nice.

Fortunately, we had Penn, Sarandon, and the Dixie Chicks — that's right, Ferrell, the Dixie Chicks showed you up — and a handful of others who, despite the threat to their pocketbook, felt compelled to speak up against injustice.*

So yes, I found Will Ferrell's show funny, and I laughed many times, I still felt... offended at the nerve of these two multi-millionaires preaching to me about shit they apparently cared little for themselves when shit was really going down.

*And yes, I realize the Dixie Chicks 'apologized', still they certainly did far more than I did, that's for sure, and a fair share more than Ferrell and Snyder. Maybe in another 20 years, Ferrell can poke fun of people that let Vietnam happen; most of them may well be dead by then and he can point and laugh and poke fun with wild abandon, in the meantime charging $75 a seat to do so.

[okay, rant is done now.]

Conversations with a Roomate: A Pictorial

house.gabriel@gmail.com — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:57:23 GMT

Here's a convo I had with Roomie-D last Wednesday.

Rough estimations, of course; my memory is shit.

D: Er... Beeg [yes, he calls me 'beeg' -- soft –g, in case you're wondering], wtf is this?

Me: Er... It's to make sure there's no

in my
.

D: But...we have
.
Is that not good enough?

Me: Next time you
,
use the

until you think you're as clean as you're going to get. Then use one sheet of the

—and make sure you look at it!— and then you tell me whether the

is 'good enough' or not.

I'm come home today and Roomie-D's done the grocery shopping for the week, which is awesome, and what do I find in the utility closet? 3 new boxes of
.
And in all of the 'flavors' that they come in. Apparently he likes variety. Don't we all?

Now, I'm not one to say 'I told you so'—even though I totally told him so—and he's not the one to admit being wrong. But that's okay, because I have 3 unopened boxes of

and I'm set for a month!

Okay, now that I've grossed you lot out, it's back to reading an unsurprisingly excellent story from a cerain li'l sassy friend.