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	daniel_johns 2011-11-11 10:11 pm UTC (link)
	1. I don't know about "less confusing", but it will get easier to handle soon. 2. Strangely enough, making yourself ill won't actually make you feel better. There are better ways to cope. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-12 01:13 am UTC (link)
	I know you're talking about your own situation there but I think that is part of it - even if things aren't necessarily "easier" you learn better how to cope with them. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	paul_mac 2011-11-11 10:19 pm UTC (link)
	"Carry on, you're doing fine. And listen to your mum." I was a ridiculously happy 16 year old. There was some teen angst, no-one understood me, my parents wouldn't let me take off to the other side of the country with three other underage friends and a backpack, but as teenage years go I got off pretty lightly. Besides - 1981 gives me a built-in excuse for the fashion. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-12 01:15 am UTC (link)
	Now if in ten years time I can hear that from my kids, I'll know I've done well. (I don't care if it's me or Ellen they think they should have listened to, just as long as one of us got it right.) I was 16 in 1966. I'm not sure there's any excuse for the fashion, but we had a good time of it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	marky_b 2011-11-12 12:49 am UTC (link)
	Sixteen was the year my Uncle Dave killed himself. I think I would probably tell me that, as awful as it all was, eventually I would be able to use that grief to help others. It doesn't replace the loss, and I still get angry sometimes about my younger cousin and what she deals with, but it does help. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-12 01:16 am UTC (link)
	I'm sorry for your loss there. I think grief is one of those things where no matter how much you know it will pass - or lessen, perhaps pass is the wrong word - there's sadly nothing to be done at the time but live through it. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	est_wenham 2011-11-12 06:35 pm UTC (link)
	Psst, you're sexually attracted to men. You're welcome. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-12 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	"And there's nothing wrong with that." might be useful too. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	est_wenham 2011-11-13 02:58 pm UTC (link)
	Well, if I wanted to say that, I'd have to add in something about "your religion may actually be more trouble than it's worth." (Reply to this)(Parent)

	est_joshp 2011-11-13 02:05 am UTC (link)
	Interesting concept. 1. Liking boys and girls is a good thing. Just go with it. 2. Keep working out. You will lose the weight and be f'in hot soon. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-14 04:42 pm UTC (link)
	I think - and this is including Hollywood, teenagers are the most judgmental about their own looks with the least reason to be. It's probably the most changeable time in your life, and yet it's the same time you start caring. There's something very cruel there on Mother Nature's part. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	est_joshp 2011-11-15 03:50 am UTC (link)
	In hindsight now I can definitely agree with that. My teens were not good but I did try to keep a positive attitude but after a while it did get hard before things started to really change. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	d_arquette 2011-11-13 02:23 pm UTC (link)
	Curiously enough, Hollywood isn't that different than the commune, except maybe prettier. Of course, the drugs are better, too, so people look clearer. You're not that unique, other people are suffering, too, and they can help you. You are not nearly the embarrassment you think you are, and you are never going to have a better childhood. Move on. And try to like yourself. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-14 04:44 pm UTC (link)
	"and you are never going to have a better childhood. Move on." I think that one takes the longest time to learn for a lot of people. There is no going back and changing things, but there is changing the future. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	est_matlin 2011-11-13 02:59 pm UTC (link)
	I've been puzzling over this one. After all, what good would any advice do? I knew that I was doing things wrong, but sometimes it was just to numb the pain, and I can't really blame my 16-year-old self for that. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-14 04:44 pm UTC (link)
	Well, there's also the fact that at 16 most of us wouldn't listen to ourselves anyway. And no, I can't blame her either. (Reply to this)(Parent)

est_pejic
2011-11-13 03:32 pm UTC (link)

I think I would warn myself that soon there won't be any such thing as private. That the glitz and the glam and the parties are just as awesome as you think they're going to be, but you can't really imagine what it's like to be the face of gender ambiguity for a really fucked up popular culture. And that it's important to keep people close who believe in your beauty the way you see it, because to everyone else you're going to be beautiful because you're so strange, not because of who you are--and that's what sells the clothes and that's what gets you paid. It's fun having so many people be attracted to you, but it's hard when they're mostly attracted to a spectacle.

(I have deep thoughts when I'm hungover.)

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-14 04:46 pm UTC (link)
	I think so far you're the closest to that age, so it's interesting to see that response there - it really doesn't take all that long to give some hindsight on a situation. I do wonder if anyone who becomes the face or front for something really knows what they're getting themselves into, at any age. (Doesn't everyone?) (Reply to this)(Parent)

	v_hazardous 2011-11-14 12:29 am UTC (link)
	Sixteen is when I had my first big hit single. It was an exhiliarating, confusing, and very busy time, lol. I think... it might actually just be one word: Persevere. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	gabriel_byrne 2011-11-14 04:46 pm UTC (link)
	It's a good word. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	v_hazardous 2011-11-14 08:07 pm UTC (link)
	Particularly for a commitment-phobe like me. (Reply to this)(Parent)