| Lost & Found
||[Jan. 10th, 2004|12:26 am]
I remember when I was back at the Venice Film Festival, we were exhibiting Intolerable Cruelty and Bill Murray was there with Lost In Translation. I didn't get to see Bill's movie, because I was too busy smiling for the cameras, then disappearing into the dark corner of a bar to feel sorry for myself. The pain of the breakup was still fresh.
But then I ran in to Bill in the bar one night, and I'd never met the guy before, but he was a nice guy, and he made me laugh. We stayed up until the small hours, stole a couple of wheelchairs and went crashing around the hotel corridors waking up the guests.
And he told me a little bit about the movie. Actually, I kind of asked him. There'd been a lot of gossip going around about who his character, a tired, aging actor who was making a quick buck doing ads for cheap whisky in Japan, was based on. Speaking as an actor who's made ads for cheap whisky in Japan, I kind of wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Turns out it's Harrison Ford, not me. So that's a relief.
Except then Bill said, it doesn't matter. It's about all of us. All us guys living this Hollywood lifestyle, detached from reality. How empty it can make you feel. How alone. It's about him, it's about me.
But, I said, mostly it's about Harrison Ford, right?
He said, it's about that need to be honest, that hunger to be real. It's not just about movie stars. It's about everyone. It's about making a connection. And I guess, he said, it's about realising how small you are. And how that realisation drives you to need something bigger.
Or maybe he didn't say any of that. It was late, we were both pretty drunk, and it was difficult to hear him properly when we were crashing through the kitchen in our wheelchairs, knocking over the pots and pans.
I'm a tired, aging actor who made a quick buck doing ads for cheap whisky in Japan. I live an unreal life, disconnected from so many things. And I have met the most real, most honest man I have ever seen, and it's no surprise that I have fallen in love with him, because really, how could I not?
Gregory is my connection. My completion. My reality. I want him to understand that.
His plane lands in a few hours.
I want him to understand that there is no-one else but him.