||[Feb. 29th, 2004|09:29 pm]
The plan - yeah, there was a plan. Yeah, I know, whodathunk? - was to start using this thing again so I could record my feelings while I tried to deal with how badly my life seemed to be going.|
Then along came Gregory.
Along came Gregory, and I went straight from the lowest lows to the highest highs. I guess by rights I should be feeling kind of seasick about now. Actually, I think it hasn't quite caught up with me yet. Or maybe it has, and that's why I'm sleeping so well these days.
God, I love him.
So it doesn't leave me with much to write. I always thought I wouldn't fall, wouldn't commit, and I guess that made it a self-fulfilling prophecy. And the thing about Gregory is, he was someone who wouldn't have me if I wouldn't take that extra step. And that in itself made me feel worth more than anyone has ever made me feel before. But more to the point, with him it didn't feel like a sacrifice. There's nothing I wouldn't give up in order to be with him.
I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense. This was never meant to happen to me. A falling star that was intended for some other poor schlub has hit me square between the eyes and left him scrabbling in the gutter. Poor guy. Hey, maybe it was Gregory's good luck I got. That'd explain why he'd end up with someone like me. Poor guy.
So, that's why I'm not using this thing so much lately. Because I'm happy.