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Backdate: Oct 2, 2006. Matthew Gray Gubler and Jesse Spencer. Last days of vacation. (Players Only)
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October 24th, 2006 - 01:42 pm
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Backdate: October 2nd, 2006.
Matthew Gray Gubler and ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) jessespencer. Last days of vacation on the yacht.
Will be backdated and cross-posted.
Players Only.
Gray sighs softly as he watches the stars, the gentle rocking of the boat lulling him. He's gotten used to it and he knows he'll miss it when they get back to London…which they would be doing much too soon. Gray has enjoyed this time, being away from everything, spending time with Jesse, nothing else in the world mattering. Turning his head, he smiles over at his lover, content.
Jesse's watching Gray, watching the mind working in his head even though he hasn't a clue what Gray's thinking. He's propped his head in his hand to memorize his lover's features, to absorb and remember as much as he can about their idyllic, quiet times together. With Gray heading back to classes, Jesse's all too afraid that he'll be seeing less and less of his lover. "Hey, love." A hand sweeps down Gray's arm. "Enjoying the night?"
"Mmm immensely, feeling just a touch melancholy about it ending." Gray smiles. "S'necessary though, isn't it?" Shifting onto his side, he reaches out and touches Jesse. "You owe me a conversation."
"It is necessary...you have school to get to and there's no way, as much as I might want, that I can spirit you away to live with me like this forever." Jesse smiles at the touch and reaches out to twine their fingers together. "Love you." He ignores the actual comment about the conversation, but figures talking about school gives him an opening.
Gray knows Jesse is still trying to avoid, just as he knows he could never be happy with a life that involved nothing but this. For a vacation is fine, and even for a month or two it might be nice, especially after the intensity of a dig, but the only thing? No... "I love you too," he says, smiling. "And I'm not letting you avoid yourself out of it tonight."
"What is there to talk about, Gray?" Jesse sighs, his thumb tracing softly over the back of his lover's hand. "You have school and I have nothing but time and whim. I'll be in London...I'll be wherever you are." His worries and insecurities aren't going to disappear not because he wants them to or because Gray thinks they should and the fact that he might be upsetting Gray just worries him all the more.
"Yes, I have school, but as I said before--I'll be in London too now, full time. You aren't losing me to it; you'll just have to share me." Reaching out, he touches Jesse's face. "And you'll be around because I can't imagine you not being around. I may not always be very good company." He bites his lip. "And I'm worried too, you know? I'm worried how long it will take you to get bored with so much studying..."
Jesse tilts his face into Gray's hand, turning to brush a kiss over his palm. "It's scary, Gray. You'll be so busy, so involved. I plan to be there as much as you want me to." But, how do I know when it's too much? How can I bear it if you find someone smart at school?
"But what happens if you get tired of me not being there like you need or want?" Gray inquires, voicing his own fears, knowing it might help Jesse voice his. "We'll figure it out, right? Isn't that what people do?"
"I'll never get tired of being there with you, for you." He kisses Gray's hand again, worry creasing his brow. "And, we'll figure it out; definitely...even if it's not what people do...it'll be what we do." Jesse brushes a soft, hesitant kiss across Gray's lips. "I ...I can't lose you, Gray. Just promise you won't leave me."
"We aren't people...I think we've both proved that. We do what works for us...I've never been accused of being normal, won't start now..." Reaching out, Gray's fingers stroke through Jesse's hair as he presses their foreheads together. "Will you promise me the same thing?"
"Unequivocally." Jesse smiles softly and presses their heads together. "You'll have to shake me off if you want me to leave." Just don't ever ask...because I might not recover if you do. It'll be a hurdle overcoming his innate fear that he's not good enough, that he doesn't deserve Gray's love.
"While that's an interesting image, I'm not willing to give it a try," Gray states. "You're stuck with me, oddities and all."
Jesse chuckles. "Love you, and am glad that we are stuck together." Tugging at his lover, Jesse pulls Gray into his arms. "I can't promise the insecurities won't get to me...can't promise that I'll not freak out, but I do promise that I won't run."
"Then I need you to promise that you'll come to me as well," Gray states. "If something is bothering you, you tell me. Simple as that, okay?"
Nodding, Jesse hopes he can keep that promise. "I will come to you...we'll work it all through. We have to."
"Yes because I try, but I can be a pretty clueless git because I have shit social skills," Gray responds. "So, sometimes you'll have to knock me over the head and tell me...alright?"
"Alright." Jesse grins and kisses Gray hard, grinding their lips together as he works at letting the tension leave him. "Love you."
Breathless and grinning, Gray presses closer. "Love you more."
"Love you the mostest ever." Giggling, Jesse reaches down and hikes Gray’s thigh over his and grinds against him.
"What are we, twelve?" Gray laughs, though the sound trails out into a moan as he arches up to meet his lover.
"If we are, we better not tell anyone at the club." His chuckle melts into a moan and he drag's Gray's mouth to his, kissing him hotly as he rocks against his lover's body.
Sniggering softly, Gray can't help it. He nips lightly at Jesse's chin.
Jesse groans again as he rolls Gray onto his back, grinds his hips down hard. "God, you are so perfect, Gray. Love you."
"I am definitely not perfect...but I love you too," Gray smiles, love and ...lust in his eyes.
{Feedback welcomed; Comments screened} |
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