Bob's Garden of Earthly Delights|
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|Saturday, August 8th, 2009|
Let's keep this informative! These are places you can find me, ways you can contact me, and otherwise a list of ways not to lose me.
email - email@example.com
website - thegreenjumper.org
Yahoo!Messenger - scouterkins
deviantArt - hilarity
fanfiction.net - hilarity
InsaneJournal - chimbleysweep
GreatestJournal - hilarity
LiveJournal - chimbleysweep
|Sunday, August 5th, 2007|
|Friday, August 3rd, 2007|
Do not ever tell me
that my work has no artistic merit. Do not ever think you have the right to critique or suspend me because you cannot see past the action into the subtle details, the facial expressions, the placement, the context of the picture. Do not ever think you have thr right to tell me that what I have drawn is gross and wrong because you
don't understand it. Do not dare punish me for drawing sexual positions using characters I love. Do not dare turn my art into something perverted and wrong by labeling it as a danger and a violation.
There is nothing so insulting as an ignoramous fucking with someone's artwork and slandering what they've drawn. Fuck off, LJ.
-An OF AGE Artist who draws OF AGE PEOPLE having SEX WITH EACH OTHER and those PEOPLE HAVING SEX (dirty dirty sex) like to do in LOADS OF POSITIONS because Claire likes the big thick man cock ALL UP IN HER SOAKING WET TWAT and her thighs bruised EIGHT WAYS FROM SUNDAY and NO LJ USER IS GOING TO TELL ME THAT IT IS WRONG
In other news, I killed the spider. It was most definitely a hobo, and as Lara said, Raid was not my friend, so I had to keep spraying until it basically drowned, then I started taking out my righteous indignation on it and kept smacking it with the fly swatter. Got some Raid in my eye and got spider legs everywhere, then the body ended up getting whacked too hard and flew off somewhere and I have no idea where it is now. FUCK YOU SPIDER YOU COST ME MY SANITY FOR A LONG TIME.
Seafairrrrrr. The Blue Angels were practicing yesterday and I kept waiting for a sonic boom but noooooooooooo.
PS: TELL ME ALL OF YOUR OTHER JOURNAL NAMES!
I want to friend.
|Thursday, August 2nd, 2007|
Because LJ is freaky freaky with their new 'policies', here is my GreatestJournal, just in case I ever move.
DRUMROLL PLZ: hilarity
Big shocker. Friend it, bbs.
ETA: hilarty @ journalfen
hilarity @ journalscape
chimbleysweep @ insanejournal
|Porn is better than a spider
Somewhere in my apartment is a giant spider. And by giant, I mean two inches with the legs, and not a very small body, either. It looks like some huge giant brown recluse but is probably more hobo than that. I don't really know. I didn't get close enough to analyze it. I have a giant spray can of Raid and I did not sleep last night (no, really, I curled up in the shower and called my mom at midnight and my dad drove out here at 2AM because the spider kept trying to get in
IT SMELLED MY FEAR). I really would have never become phobic of spiders if it hadn't been for the size of this one. Good grief.
Of course, today we can't find it at all anywhere. We tore up my apartment, looked through everything, even put all of my clothes through the wash just in case, but nope. Still hidden. But I have Raid this time. It smells delicious. And I mean that.
Actually, yesterday I was going to post some R-rated sex between Claire and Jack, but the spider totally ruined my night. I sincerely wish to kill it. Anyway, I will post the porn now
.( SOME SEX! SOME SEX! SOME SEXY SEXY SEX! )
I may work on recoloring Jack's face sometime but for now this is how it's going to be. Since my dad is sitting behind me.
|Thursday, July 26th, 2007|
I keep reading all of the Snape wankery on FW and I'm dying at the James bashing. Okay, yeah, because Snape was the nicest person in the books and JKR totally didn't say that he's a bully. But oh, wait, according to these wankers, she doesn't know her own characters. OOPS MY BAD. LULZ. I sure know someone else knows my characters better 'n I do. They just use osmosis, see. Character osmosis.
IN BETTER NEWS, Naomi Watts had the baby and she named him Alexander. Yeah, because Claire didn't name the boy twin Charles ALEXANDER. OH WAIT. SHE DID.
This is more art but it's not fanart so y'all can be disappointed now.( The second thirteen-year-old Claire. She was so skinny then it is groooooss. )
|OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
Yesterday I jammed my toe. But for the first time out of three tries, I did it whilst dancing. CELEBRATE. I didn't kick a couch this time!!!!!! I don't even have a couch here but I guarantee you that I could have done it anyway.
Right, so, I drew fanart. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I know, right. It looked about a thousand times better when it was still just a thought inside my brain, which is the usual thing when I draw, but it'll do because there's no way I'd try and fix it because because because because because I said so.
Anyway, SPOILERS FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS
. But, okay, if you're on the internets, cruising your flist, and you haven't yet finished, you clearly do not care about spoilers so whatever look anyway! If you do care and you aren't finished, why are you online? GTFO!!!( The content of this fanart shall not be revealed because it is a spoiler. )
|Tuesday, July 24th, 2007|
|Sunday, July 22nd, 2007|
|Tuesday, July 10th, 2007|
No idea how interested people would be in this but we have an open post where you can ask any DL character anything you want. Of course, the only ones I talk about are Avery and Claire, BUT THEY COUNT. Post can be found without much trouble, by clicking this link
Then I FINALLY GOT MY QUESTIONS FROM THE QUESTION MEME.
Favorite non HP fictional character and why? Scout Finch :| Because TKAM is the best book behind all the HP books. She is the most awesome six year old of all time.
What foreign country outside of the UK and South Africa do you want to visit and why? IRELAND HA
What would you want your animagus to be? My instinct was to say banana. But I guess UHHHH a T. REX. No one says they have to be living animals... Errrrr OR a duck.
What would you name your lovechild with Simon Amstell... and don't say Bob. Why not :( He'd like Bob. I would name him JAMES. HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA
WHen is Avery going to shag Jake up the arse? When Jake stops wanting to spoon his step father.
Right, also, more pas de deux. We did pas de deux in dance. Mind you, as none of us are classically trained ballet dancers, it was lacking any technique or form.( The more pas de deux. It is from Manon. )
|Sunday, July 8th, 2007|
This is all for you, Laurie: iamlumiere
In other news, I recently remembered that I had a handful of pas de deux drawings (Claire + Scott) that I hadn't yet posted. The first in the series was the Swan Lake
one. Anyway, I colored another. Obviously this means I am going to post it. ( SO HERE IT IS! )
Woo baby, male ballet dancers. Although I have to defend Jack's honor, as it is Scott, his rival, by saying that Scott was not hitting on Claire at this point. He was nice.
Similarly art related, my scanner has taken to absolutely not liking graphite at all. I rarely shade anymore, but when I do, and I scan, it blotches everything and makes things look miserable. I have this great drawing of Claire from yesterday but the scan is so atrocious that I'm ashamed.
|Friday, July 6th, 2007|
|Art Things What Are Annoying
1.) The fact that LJ has now removed Xcoliber from its layouts thus forcing me to use the two ugliest, most amateur-looking layouts LJ has ever made. LJ, YOU SUCK, THESE LAYOUTS SUCK. THEY ARE NOT AESTHETICALLY PLEASING AND I MADE SIMILAR ONES WHEN I WAS TWELVE.
2.) Tonks is really cool in OotP, but because she sucks so hard in HBP, I hate her, anyway. I really hope she dies in DH.
3.) This layout is so ugly oh my god.
So to counter these things that are annoying, though the list is far from complete, I colored art that I wasn't going to color. It's Claire and Jake's little baby sister, Ava. Not Claire's baby, Sophie's baby. Sophie being Jake's mother. Ava is nine months old.( She probably considers this mountain climbing. )ETA:
I am having an immensely clumsy day today. I closed my window this morning but slipped on the carpet and bashed my hip into the desk. Then I burned my hip on a tray I had just taken out of the oven. Then I spilled my drink all over my bed. Good gracious.
|Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007|
|we'll call it on this counter, then
I was about to write an entry beginning with 'oh god I'm such a loser, I only ever talk about fictional characters', but then I remembered my flist and stopped feeling silly. Fawning over fictional characters, indeed.
Nearly half-done with GoF. Got a bit lax with the reading but I hope to finish it soon. I am dreading rereading HBP. Good god, I disliked that book nearly cover-to-cover. The only redeeming factor was the possibility of Regulus taking after dear big brother Sirius. I'm praying that Tonks will turn out to be some sort of spy or evil creature and that will explain why she really
became the lamest HP character of all time
The real reason I'm behind is because I drew semi-raunchy Claire/Jack. And then spent yesterday battling with the forces of evil (OpenCanvas) to color it. I don't know why I insist on coloring things. I really liked this yesterday. Now I think it's shit.( I just typed 'on this day'. Hello, reflexes. A better title would be ON THIS COUNTER. )
ETA: OH MY GOD BILLY GATES ISN'T THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD ANYMORE.
|Friday, June 29th, 2007|
|OH MY THERE'S A FIC AND AN ART IN HERE
So I was writing this ficlet about Claire's battle with anorexia when she was thirteen. It's just one little window into the year after she moved to London, when she was thirteen. And I was going to post it here and then I realized, well, you know, there really ought to be some sort of place to post Dirty Life-related fics, because we have HUNDREDS and they're all still filtered on my journal. Now that the website is under construction, which is where I moved most of the fiction, there needed to be a substitute.
And it is: dirtyfiction
It's not just for game players. Anyone who has any interest in the game can join and even write fanfiction, if they want. Not that I think anyone actually will, but we had one once! IT WAS EXCITING. Just need to leave doors open.
In any case, I encourage everyone to watch it, anyway, because it's where I'll probably dump all backstory.
Of course, I can't leave out art. So dirtyart
was created for that. And I'll most likely post all DL-related things there. Again, it's not just for game members. Anyone can join and anyone can post as long as the posts are DL-related.
SO ANYWAY, that fic that prompted those two communities!!! IS HERE!
Course, I had to break in the art comm, as well, so there's a supplementary drawing for that ficlet (although the fic came second) HERE!
|Monday, June 25th, 2007|
|TELL ME IT'S A DREAM
I have spent the last couple of days totally immersed in fandom history. Again. It is my number one guilty pleasure. NOT JOKING AROUND HERE PEOPLE. I'm rereading the entire MsScribe saga, which is not nearly as exciting a year later, and rolling in it. And then, to add to the madness, Evanna Lynch (Luna) is sporting some mad Claire extensions
. See, that is Claire's hair color and complexion and hair length. Althouth the girth of her hair is quite bigger and wilder and insane and she probably does want to cut it and I just refuse to channel that desire.
Right, so, now that I've prefaced this post with something entirely opposite of what I meant, I will move on to the proper content.
Clamor, clamor, clamor! I demand more newbie players for dirty_life
. But I'm not going to throw a little RPG ad at you, because they're boring. I mean, we use them, and they work, but they're boring. (Even if you have no interest in roleplaying games at all
, this will probably help you understand who Claire is and what I'm always going on about.)( ~*~MIRACLES AWAIT~*~ )
It's bad, but I so want to reestablish a certain miss Cáitlín Monaghan...
Now I do puppy dog eyes: O.OETA
: Oh, the things
I scrape from the sole of the internet shoe.
|Friday, June 22nd, 2007|
This is a serious business
art post. Meaning, there are seventeen pieces of art in this post. Luckily for you and your internets, I didn't actually post them all. They are all of Claire. OH BIG SURPRISE. Specifically, they are ballet. OH YEAH I KNOW IT JUST KEEPS SHOCKING ME TOO. But more specifically, they're all post-Jack.ONE!
>> Watch as she does the splits. I drew this solely so I could draw and color (I know, right?) her back. Girl had muscles in her back.TWO!
>> Guess I haven't got anything to say about all of them.THREE!
>> Sometimes I think she had some sort of chronic pain in one foot.FOUR!
>> Her hair is so flyaway that she often wears head-covering things. Yes.FIVE!
>> It's very odd for her to just put her hair in a loopy bun. She has way too much hair for it. It fountains away like fountains. Doesn't mean she was going to avoid doing it.SIX!
>> She could bend herself over a barre and it was fun but I did not draw it.SEVEN!
>> Kick, my little dumpling, kick! CROTCH SHOT! Teehee.EIGHT!
>> She could indeed to oversplits yes. If you don't like overly-flexible people, don't look at this one.NINE!
>> It's remarkably difficult to draw someone bending over.TEN!
>> It is very clear that she has stopped wearing her black leotards for class. She is ~professional~ now.ELEVEN!
>> AND KICK 2 3!TWELVE!
>> A few weeks after Jack began his prison term, Claire practices for the showcase at RBS. And is sad.FOURTEEN!
>> Frog stretch, legs not amputated. I'm just wondering if there is an amputee fetish on deviantART that will attack this with love the way the inflation fanatics attack my pregnant Claires. It's a bit strange!FIFTEEN!
>> Splits! More splits! Vertical splits.SIXTEEN!
>> She is engaged to John around now, I wager.SEVENTEEN!
>> And bringing it back, here she is the day after Jack began his sentence.
Still can't bend today.
|Monday, June 11th, 2007|
|ART NOTORIAL ( I made a Not-Tutorial of how I draw. Because, seriously, there is nothing within that will actually help you learn how to draw. You just see how I do it. )
Want to see what it all ended up looking like? IF YOU'VE COME THIS FAR, YOU MUST. ( To quote Juliette, 'Holy shit that's pregnant.' )
TODAY I BECAME AN ACTIVIST (I CAN USE THAT TERM IF I'D LIKE TO) :O My mom sent me to a new eye doctor so that I could get a new prescription and new frames. Yes. You know. That happens when you go to an eye doctor. Anyway, I was a bit weirded out that she didn't take me to my usual place, but apparently she had been there before and liked it more so whatever. Cool. The receptionist was nice and it was pleasant and other boring things that don't aid the story.
As I was looking around the lobby area, I noticed a poem on the wall that had a title similar to Hands of the Master or something like that. It was very Christian...y. But the border was covered in garland and violins and the content I could read had to do with making said violins, so I figured that's what it was and let it go.
Then my eyes traveled across a nifty-looking graphic novel sitting on the table. Of course, that was before I noticed that the title was GOOD VS. EVIL. After seeing that, it was no longer nifty-looking. "lfkdlkjdglk," said I. As I peered closer, it certainly began to look like God vs. Devil. The sort of graphic novel that the ultra-scary Christians use to indoctrinate young, stupid children. You know what I am talking about. So I look at my mother and I say, "Look at all this crap!" And I stand up and oh, THERE'S A BOOK ON MARRIAGE. MANY OF THEM. FOR SALE. HOW TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WONDERFUL BY BRINGING GOD INTO YOUR LIVES and of course, probably expelling teh gehyz, as well. And then I noticed a Bible, lost in the rest of the insanity.
"No, no," says I. "I am not going to stay here." I show it all to my mom and she starts looking just as alarmed as I am, but instead of waiting for her to say something like, just ignore it, I leave. Oh, yes, bitches. I walked out. "I'm not staying here," I say as I throw open the doors. And my mom went to the ladies behind the counter and told them that it wasn't appropriate to have that sort of material in a FUCKING CLINIC (there is no indication on the sign that this guy is going to indoctrinate you once you get there). The woman says, "Well, Dr. Wylie is a Christian." My mom says, "Bzuh? ...so am I. This isn't appropriate." And then she left. BOOYAH. SUCK ON THAT.
Of course, I shouldn't be surprised. This is
Spokane. But fuck I am not tolerating that kind of fundamentalist propaganda at my goddamn eye doctor. If it had just been a Bible that's one thing. If it had been any other religious text, also another thing (and rather shocking for this town). But that graphic novel was probably filled with bullshit to end all bullshit and there ain't no way I'm supporting that crap. That's the crap of the Phelpsies and Falwells of the world. Thanks but no thanks, honeybuns.
Bet the fucker uses holy eye drops.
I'VE NEVER DONE SOMETHING LIKE THAT BEFORE. I KIND OF LIKE IT.
|Monday, June 4th, 2007|
|art is an art of course of course
Never Mind the Buzzcocks was the best thing to ever happen to my tellyvision watching. Ever. If only it was on actual televisions in America. I still haven't stopped watching it since the last time I said I was watching it on 18 May. God, I am missing out living in this country seriously. Next up I am going to infiltrate Q.I.
But seriously, peoples. I am going to jam Buzzcocks down your throats the way that I have successfully jammed it down throats already. The only safe people are the ones who knew about it nine hundred years before I did, which is like, everyone who isn't American. It's not our fault :(
Oh, yes, I drew some art. It was just a little mental image that didn't go away. June is for paid-for commissions, and me battling with realism, something I haven't done since senior studio in high school two years ago. SO LET'S JUST SAY IT AIN'T EASY. But I'm nearly done. And I still love Laurie, anyway.( In which Claire takes a bath and is pregnant? )
It's cute, damn it.
|Thursday, May 31st, 2007|
|ART but no incest :( A MUSICAL INTERLUDE
(unrelated to pirates):
I STILL DON'T HAVE THE REASON
AND YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIIIIIIIME
AND IT REALLY MAKES ME WONDER IF I EVER GAVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUUU
GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN
CAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU
I WONDER IF IT EVEN MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO TRY
SO THIS IS GOODBYEEE*
LJ should suspend Maroon 5 for being so catchy all the time.
I do have a GJ, but I made it in 2003 for icons and haven't used it ever. It's hilarity
, for those interested. I won't be using it unless there's a major apocalypse, but. Anyway. I will not be leaving LiveJournal
, just so we're clear. I may not give them any money for a long damn time, pending their announcement (should that ever come), but I've got four years of history on here and won't be giving it up.I HAVE ART THOUGH LOOK IT'S NOT ALL COMPLAINTS!!!
Although I am going to complain about it. I am going to complain about the coloring, specifically. I couldn't get anything I wanted. I wanted it dark, it didn't work. I wanted it light, it didn't work. I ended up saying fudge that and now you've got what you've got.( It's an AU Claire. One of the billions. She's a teenager, abused by her icky parents, runs away to London just to get away, sits at a bus stop one night, sees a punk Jack doing nothing in particular and watches him and he catches sight of her and decides to take her under his wing and act as her guardian/family/friend. I call it the lost puppy AU or the baby punk AU. )
Aw shucks, look at me update my LJ regularly.ETA
|Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007|
|AS IF I WOULD
Want the early 80s? Want some fashion and beauty? Want some AMAZING HAIR? Well, you'll get all of that and a punch to the face when you ( click on this lj-cut. )
My computer shut itself off during the tail-end of that. There would be shading and more things on the clothes but I lost my line art layer and it wouldn't let me paste a new one back in and it was like death. JUST GO WITH IT.
I also got 100% on my psychology test and I want to roll around in a big pile of psychology.