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Bizarre [Apr. 23rd, 2005|04:38 pm]
A couple of days back, I posted that one-shot L&O: SVU fic to one of the L&O automated archives and happily continued on my way. I entered my web site URL into my user account setup because it asked for it.

Suddenly, I start getting quite a few pieces of feedback for my several-year-old Enterprise fiction. One piece was from someone in Ent fandom, but the rest were people I've never seen before.

I took a glance at my user stats and was shocked to see that, apparently, many people came over via the link on the L&O archive, and--after checking out my single-story L&O page--proceeded to reading my Enterprise fiction. I am amused, especially given that the SVU fic is femslash, and the Enterprise fic is all het.

To add to the amusement value: still haven't gotten any feedback on Being Someone via that automated archive. But apparently readers liked it enough to follow the link to my home page, and then to read fanfic in a totally different fandom and a totally different genre.
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Fanfic: Being Someone (Law & Order: SVU; femslash) [Apr. 7th, 2005|09:48 pm]

Title: Being Someone
Author: hotpink
Warning: Femslash; Alex/Olivia. Explicit sexuality.
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU

Author's Note: A missing scene from Ghost.

Being Someone )
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That TrekToday Article . . . [Jul. 9th, 2004|02:48 pm]
So, I read the TrekToday article about the next Star Trek movie, and the upcoming season of Enterprise.

Minor Spoilers )

Edited later: The more that I think about the next movie, and the good possibility that it is the treatment that JMS was talking about, the more excited I become. JMS and Star Trek! JMS and the Romulan War!

<---suddenly excited about Star Trek again.
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Hmmm . . . [Jul. 6th, 2004|05:01 pm]
I changed my layout to an S2, so that I could read my friends page. Although I really liked my old, personalized layout, I think I'll keep this one. It's clean and simple.

The past few weeks--really, the past few months--have been a complete mess. I hate it when work takes over my life. Get up, go to work, go home, cook dinner, go to bed. The dog gets his (short) walks intermingled in those events, but the male half has been taking him for his morning walks because traffic has been so bad that it's taking me an hour + to drive to work. No time for watching TV, no time for reading, no time for writing. That last part is especially distressing, because with the lack of good fan fiction material, I've come up with some decent ideas for original fiction. I should renew my subscriptions to the various SF magazines, although I hate the amount of paper waste it all generates.

Also, my house needs to be cleaned. The floors need to be washed, the bathrooms need to be cleaned, the majority of the carpeting needs to be vacuumed. Oh, and these gigantic piles of laundry keep appearing out of seemingly nowhere. The flowers on my front porch keep trying to die on me, too (that might be related to the pretty constant high winds we've been having--the plastic pots keep taking headers off the side of the porch despite all attempts to weigh them down).

That's about everything in my life at the moment!
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Further Thoughts . . . [Jun. 24th, 2004|11:57 pm]
Given that it's past midnight, I'm not sure that my further thoughts are going to be as literate as those from this afternoon, but they beg to be let loose upon the world and I have a forum in which to do so. *evil laugh*

I haven't been around much in the past couple of months. There are a multitude of reasons behind that absence: first, a growing number of health problems; second, a growing workload at my real life job; third, a fannish disillusion bought about by a lack of a fandom. I haven't been not active in a fandom since the early 90s, yet I haven't found anything to be fannish about this past year. I don't do movies (not enough canon to work from) or novel (too weird; too invasive) fandom. I really don't do real person fandom, mainly because I couldn't care less about the actors, it's all about the characters. I couldn't name the actors from any of my favorite movies or television shows to save my life.

(Of course, I don't care whether other people do movies, novels or real people--but I'm a telly fan through-and-through.)

While fandom is just fandom, it's something that many of us allow to shape our lives and our interactions with other people. It can be our primary creative outlet. I do feel a lack in my life when I'm not being fannish about anything. Fandom is a hobby, and is neither more or less important than we want our hobbies to be. I have friends whose husbands go fishing or boating every weekend, yet I don't heard the type of vitriol thrown at people who choose those hobbies as I sometimes heard thrown at people who choose fannish hobbies. I have many theories on why that is, ranging from the idea that those who choose fannish hobbies tend to be female, and female hobbies are still seen to come second to female household responsibilities (which is not as true for males); to the fact that the vitriol is simply a type of bullying technique, to devalue the interests of those that the bully doesn’t like (which is ironic when it's one fan throwing the accusations at another).

Fandom does have an academic history, and does garner academic interest. The Internet itself has created some odd twists in that relationship--fandom has become more accessible and more archiveable, therefore making it easier to pursue academic ideas. Yet those who depend on the accessibility and archiveability refuse to acknowledge that or act aggressively when it's pointed out. There's both dependence and fear. They don't want to be pigeonholed, but academic study (and historical study) depend on pigeonholing. They are giving the academics and the historians all the information needed to pigeonhole them, too. Somewhere back in my older entries, I wrote about the fact that I don't post anything to the Internet--really, I don't even write it electronically--unless I'm content with it being preserved and analyzed. Perhaps that's a slightly paranoid way to look at the computerized and networked world, but in some ways it's a necessary one. That way, I'm never surprised when something "gets out of my control," because I'm presuming that it's out of my control the instant that my fingers touch the keyboard.

Fandom needs its institutions, or really, its places that are separate from commercial interests. JournalFen is a fannish institution, in that it exists separately from any commercial interests and exists purely for the fannish community. In some ways that's more dangerous, in others, it's safer. I think that it needs to be here, and that it needs to be promoted. Fans depend too strongly on the LiveJournals, the Geocities, the Yahoo!Groups, Yahoo!Mail, Hotmail, and Gmail, commercial institutions that exist purely to make money via eyes and advertising (well, not advertising on LJ, but it still fits with the others). None of these places has any reason to promote fannishness specifically. They might like it, because it's a way to drive eyes to their sites, but there's no desire for fannishness for the sake of fannishness. That's an attitude that is actually pretty hard to find, despite the size of online fandom. We need to cling to those institutions when we find them, because they may end up being the truest record of online fannish history we're going to find. Those commercial interests have no reason to want to preserve fannish history in particular, and much of a possible interest in suppressing it if requested.

Fandom_wank is not a fannish institution. It may be a fannish necessity--which is one reason I support its existence--but while the community on JournalFen is kind of the ultimate, it exists in many forms, in many places. If it dies here, it lives elsewhere. Maybe not in as centralized a location, maybe not in as public a format, but it will continue. Should it have been deleted? Only if the mods wanted to prove once and for all that the secret cabal did exist. Should it have been brought back? To tell you the truth, I think that the fandom_wank mods have abused JournalFen enough at this point to deserve an all-out TOSing. JournalFen is more important than fandom_wank, yet it has been subservient to the "importance" of fandom_wank these past 12 or so hours. But ZR and Robin are more generous than I.

I feel sorry for those who have come here to use JournalFen for its intended purpose: to be fannish, outside or besides fandom_wank. I feel sorry for ZR and Robin, who I hope won't get sticker shock from the bandwidth usage of the past couple of days. (And I'm planning on paying for my secondary account--an account I've never used--in an attempt to mollify the effects of the recent stupidity.)

Okay, this post is definitely nothing more than a ramble. I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors--I'm usually someone that won't post something without first generating multiple drafts, but I'm not up to that at this point.
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That fandom_wank thing . . . [Jun. 24th, 2004|03:54 pm]
Here's a small quote from my bio:

I have developed a very firm sense of where I want to be in fandom. I like being the perpetual outsider, not tied to any fandom or, within any fandom, any particular group. Although I may become deeply involved in or obsessed with a particular show and even particular subculture within that show, I find attempts to create an atmosphere of us-against-them within or between fandoms to be vastly irritating . . .

Although those who perpetrated the wank over the past two days may claim there is no hive vagina (you know, just because a small group PLANNED and VOTED to pull the wool over the eyes of all, they're not a hive vagina because they each had their own reasons to do it and then lie about it), the us-against-them attitude can't be denied. There's a group of insiders--those deemed most important to the wank, most knowledgeable about the true spirit of fandom_wank, then there's the nasty, stupid outsiders. While snickering behind their hands, the insiders have made sure that the outsiders know exactly how stupid and unwelcome they really are. Everyone who isn't an insider is just a puppet for them to manipulate, in their big roleplay of shock and horror.

I wasn't upset or angered by the disappearance of fandom_wank, because I knew that it would reappear eventually. I followed the community from LJ, to Blurty, to JF, because I thought that it was an interesting place to hang out. Not only that, but because I believed the propaganda. There is no hive vagina . . . you're a real member of fandom_wank because you consider yourself a member. There's no elite group of insiders dictating who's a real wanka and who is not. There are no outsiders or insiders, just wankas, wankees, and wankers. You don't have to kiss ass or be friends with a particular subset of people to be a "real member." Guess I was deluded by the bullshit.

What eventually pissed me off wasn't the deletion of fandom_wank. It was the lies spewed across my friends list in order to promote additional panic. Staying quiet when you know what's going on is one thing. Lying to others in order to laugh while they panic and react is a whole different level of shit. It says that you're not just 'in the know,' but you['re delighting in the fact that you're 'in the know' and that you can manipulate those who are not. It's about generating selfish pleasure at the expense of others, most of whom once trusted and believed you. Once exposed, it makes sure that the outsiders know that they are not welcome, that their contributions are not needed nor important. It's one of the worse and most damaging forms of bullying and intimidation. It's the perfect way to destroy any group.

It reeks of elitism--of the extremes of the us-versus-them attitude. It reeks of everything fandom_wank members have insisted we're not, of everything fandom_wank haters have said that we are. We have become what others predicted we would. I agree with the person who opined that fandom_wank needs to be purged, and that it's not the newbies who are the infection.

*shrug* I'm a single-strike type of person. I don't suffer fools or liars, and I never again trust someone who pulls such bullshit over on me. Those who participated have been removed from the friends-list, and are welcome to remove me in return.
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ROFL! [Jun. 23rd, 2004|03:24 pm]
Thankee all, for the ongoing amusement during one of my worse days at work EVAR!
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[Enterprise] Zero Hour [May. 27th, 2004|10:07 am]
Since JF was not accessible last night, I posted a review/rant about Zero Hour in my livejournal. There's not a whole lot of substance to the entry--it's more a whine about the season in general, and our reactions to the end scene. (WTF!!??)

I just read the most disturbing theory about the ending. For the past several months, there have been waves of rumors about Kirk appearing on Enterprise during the next season. The theory was that they're about to defile the memory of The City on the Edge of Forever in order to give Kirk a TOS-related story line. While the tribbles episode of DS9 was a good tribute to the original series, Trouble with Tribbles wasn't the type of episode that City was. I think that City needs to stand alone--that it is what it is despite all its flaws and inconstancies. Yeah, the theory's pretty much out there, but since we have absolutely no idea where in time Enterprise is, how they travelled back in time if they're back in time, or how Earth is what is it if they haven't, wild theories are all we've got.
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The History of SF Words (OED) [Mar. 15th, 2004|02:54 pm]
Wow.

BNF (n.) - antedating 1952 abbrev. for Big Name Fan: Geri Sullivan submitted a 1959 cite from Fancyclopedia II, and subsequently submitted a 1954 cite from Walt Willis and Bob Shaw's "The Enchanted Duplicator". Cory Panshin submitted a cite from a 1962 reprint of Robert Bloch's article "How to Attend a Science Fiction Convention or the Manly Art of Self-Defense"; we would like to verify the cite in the original 1953 publication in the fanzine "Fan Warp" #1. Fred Galvin submitted a 1958 cite from Ralph M. Holland's "Ghu's Lexicon". Fred Galvin submitted a 1952 cite from a letter by Marion Zimmer Bradley in Thrilling Wonder Stories. Imran Ghory submitted a cite from a 1978 article, "Star Trek Lives: Trekker Slang" by Patricia Byrd

We now have enough cites for this word (unless an antedating is found) from SF fandom. We would be interested to see any citations from "mainstream" sources, or non-SF fan publications.





fannish (adj.) - antedating 1949: Jeff Prucher submitted a 1986 cite from Gary Wolfe's "Critical Terms for Science Fiction and Fantasy". Fred Galvin submitted a 1959 cite from Fancyclopedia 2. Fred Galvin submitted a cite from a letter by Charles Tanner in the September 1949 Startling Stories. Jeff Prucher submitted a cite from a 1995 reprint of Gene Wolfe's 1987 essay "From a House on the Borderland". Jeff Prucher submitted a 1990 cite from a book review by Donald Hassler in Extrapolation. Enoch Forrester submitted a 1991 cite from Peter David's "Q-in-law".




Come on, someone has to know an earlier cite for this!

Mary Sue (n.) - antedating 1992 sense is a writer who inserts themselves in their own fan fiction; or such a story or character: Katrina Campbell submitted a 2002 cite from an article by Robbie Hudson in the Sunday Times. Malcolm Farmer submitted a 1992 cite from Henry Jenkins' "Textual Poachers: Television Fans and Particpatory Culture"

We would like cites of any date from other authors.


From: Science Fiction Citations for the OED
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[Fandom] My Guilty Secret [Jan. 13th, 2004|03:58 pm]
I am not really looking forward to Enterprise tomorrow. But I AM looking forward to Jake 2.0. While, at first, it only made me say meep, the past couple episodes were fun and exciting. The plots may be kind of stale, but the characters and dialogue are interesting.
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[Fandom] Naughty NC-17 writers [Jan. 13th, 2004|03:38 pm]
I feel this strange calling to write NC-17 HP fan fiction and post it openly to my LiveJournal and JournalFen. Maybe slash, although some type of het might be easier. I've read the first, second and fourth novels. I should be able to come up with something. It's not like anyone is going to read it or expect more out of me, given the 100,000 other pieces of fanfic that exist in HP.

Maybe I could get on their blacklist by pointing out that I write NC-17 Trek smut. Although it doesn't seem like they acknowledge that fandom exists outside of HP (or care that if they protect the children from the NC-17 slash, incest, and/or rape in HP, there's still plenty of it out there for them to access).
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[Enterprise] T'Pol's eyebrows [Jan. 6th, 2004|11:14 pm]
To show you how non-focused I've been . . . they really did Vulcanize T'Pol's eyebrows this season, didn't they? I noticed it in Twilight, and thought it had been an odd change for the episode. But I was looking at screenshots from The Expanse tonight, and realized that her eyebrows had already crept up to quite an angle at that point.

Her lack of Vulcan-like eyebrows wasn't really something that disturbed me in the first two seasons, and I do agree with the original (stated) reasons that they hadn't done it. It does give her a harsher, more alien look. It's strange that during a season where one apparent goal is for her character to draw somewhat away from her Vulcanness, they returned to a more traditionally Vulcan look.
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Hmm . . . [Jan. 6th, 2004|10:49 pm]
It's been a while.

Maybe this icon should actually say "one of those years . . ." GIP!
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Random thoughts on Enterprise [Nov. 26th, 2003|10:20 pm]
Barely Spoilers, But Still . . . )
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I HATE student loans [Nov. 22nd, 2003|08:51 pm]
*argh*

I just received a student loan statement from one of my undergrad loan processors, showing that I have used 13 MONTHS of forbearance, and thus have somehow picked up $900 in capitalized interest from those periods.

According to my recordsI have used about 7 months in bridge forbearance (when they'll put you into forbearance over the summer between deferments), and no forbearance during the high-interest periods that would have resulted in that amount of interest. (Unfortunately, I started grad school 7 months after I finished my undergrad degree, so couldn't go back into the grace period on my undergraduate loans.)

I'm betting that my summer deferements (when I attended grad school full time during the summer semester) have "magically" been transformed into summer forbearances. Oddly, this occurred when I went to consolidate those loans into my federal direct loans. It is going to be a total pain in the ass to get the documentation out of my university in any reasonable amount of time.
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[Media] Mass media, the FCC, broadcast flags [Nov. 13th, 2003|03:32 pm]
So, the male and I had an interesting conversation last night about the value of mass media in our lives.

Some of it was related to my thoughts in my previous entry--talking about our relation to television as viewers and as story interpreters. The majority of the conversation was related to what we are willing to pay, how much of our control over our viewing experience we're willing to give up, before mass media loses enough of its value to make it not worth the experience.

I was brought up in a household that didn't believe in paying for television at any level. Either we received the network over the air, or we didn't receive it. My father wasn't even willing to purchase a big antenna for the roof . . . we always used rabbit ears. That meant that there were times during my childhood when we barely had reception on the big three, because we lived too far from their broadcast antennas in the nearby urban area.

My college did not allow cable installation in the dorms. Since the dorms were cinder block construction, that mean that there was absolutely no reception within most dorm rooms (some of the sitting areas had big windows, and if you set up a television with rabbit ears near those windows, you could get the big three, Fox, and our local PBS).

Right now, we do pay for cable. That's because, even with a roof-top antenna, we only receive NBC over the air. For many years, we paid for the "life-line" cable package (networks and a couple of the "boring" cable stations like TLC, Discovery, History Channel). As of a couple months ago, we've got a full basic package, because the basic package with cable modem included is about the same price as life-line with cable modem. We wanted the cable modem, not the full basic cable.

We're about to move into one of the few cities in our area that doesn't yet have competitive cable. There's one cable company that's allowed to sell in the village, and the price they quoted us for what we have now is more than twice what we're paying. The company doesn't offer life-line service, and the basic cable alone is almost fifty bucks. (Apparently, the village's contract with the cable company expires a week after we're supposed to be closing on the new house. I certainly hope they require the company to open its network to competitors, or at least force them to be competitive with Comcast's prices.) There's a good chance that we can get an Internet connection through another service (there's a company that might be setting up remote DSLAMs in the village; with a remote DSLAM within 3 miles, we could get DSL). We need some further information to know if that other service will be viable.

There is also all these other problems coming down the wire--the forced switch to HDTV, the control flags on digital broadcasting, etc. There's the concept of the "social contract" that's being pushed in lawsuits against PVRs that allow consumers to record programs without commercials, or even to simply digitally switch over them 30 seconds at a time. This social contract stance that's being held by the media companies says that when consumers sit down in front of a television to watch a show supported by commercials, we enter into an implicit contract to watch those commercials. One media representative has even gone so far as to say that those who channel-surf during commercial breaks, or go to the bathroom, are stealing from the networks. Their stance is that consumers should be required to watch all commercials, and technology should offer them possible methods via which to enforce that requirement. That the implicit social contract needs to be mandatory, not voluntary.

Do I think that the media companies will be able to go that far in their control of consumers? No, I don't. There's enough of big brother in that stance that it'll need to be mollified. But look at the issues brought up by the approval of the broadcast flag for HDTV. As all television and video hardware transitions to the HDTV standard, the question is going to be, what are we going to be allowed to record for time shifting or archival purposes? Why wouldn't "no record" become the default flag for airing purposes? I think there's a good possibility that it will, at least for a while.

We record a good percentage of what we watch, because we're young professionals in fields in which overtime is basically mandatory. Newspaper articles have been obsessing over where the males, 18-49, have gone to during prime time. Most of the ones *I* know are working straight through most of prime time, rather than playing video games or surfing the Internet. They're afraid for their jobs, their homes, their families. Their jobs are a lot more important than television.

But many of them are taping the must-sees. We tape probably eight to nine hours worth of prime time during a normal week. If we were unable to tape those programs, we wouldn't be watching them. That's the straight truth. If we're prevented from taping them, then the media companies are putting those programs into direct competition with our jobs and our families. Among the people I know, those programs will lose that contest. Hell, they're already losing, and Nielsen's happily tracking it.

The conclusion we came to last night is that mass media is only worth it for us if it stays at about the same cost, with the same convenience factors as it has now (of course, we do understand adjustments for inflation, and that wasn't a factor.) We're not even sure that cable television is worth the price required at the new house. If mass media moves to a pure pay-for-play model, or even advertisement-required model, it's going to move right out of our lives.

An example that's currently applicable in our lives: when movie ticket costs around us shot up, we began to see fewer movies and only go to matinee shows. When the big theatre eliminated matinees on Fridays and weekends, we went to even fewer movies. Since the two big theatres have started airing minutes of obnoxious advertisements prior to films (I'm not talking about trailers, I'm talking about frickin' advertisements) we've all but quit going to the movies. No, the advertisements didn't make the obvious costs go up, but they certainly didn't make ticket prices go down. They made the annoyance factor go way up, to the point where they became the final straw. We can wait for the movies to come out on DVDs, and if the DVDs start forcing us to watch advertisements before we watch the movie, the DVD industry can go shove itself as well. Movies are fun, but they're certainly not necessary. Television and music are also fun, but not necessary.

Our biggest fear now is electronic books. A few years ago, I was looking forward to the emergence of electronic books. Now I fear them . . . because the digital format will allow the idea of a pay-for-play model to emerge in that industry as well. Think that publishers aren't thinking about it? They certainly are. This "advantage" of electronic books has been discussed at industry conferences for several years now. If we lose television, are we going to lose literature too?
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[Fandom] On being a bitter fan . . . [Nov. 11th, 2003|12:11 pm]
So, I'm disgruntled, and I'm really trying to figure out why. I think that I've taken my own sense of fannish entitlement too far. Or perhaps the whole experience of being a fan.

I have a strong sense of story telling and character development. Perhaps a sense that's too strong to enjoy your average television show. What I look for out of any show is a detailed background universe as well as logical character progression and characterization development. When either the universe or character development takes off into left field, it turns me off. First, I lose interest in writing fan fiction based in the universe, because I can't internalize what I find to be illogical changes in direction. Then, I start to become distracted while watching the program itself, because I don't care any longer.

Defining what I mean by illogical changes in direction is hard. Sudden, drastic events that lead to extreme changes in the ongoing story line or ongoing characterization are not necessarily bad. In fact, they often serve to open new creative directions that fit nicely back into what came before. They open new directions of character development, give access to ideas that were not available before.

Illogical changes are those that cause me to roll my eyes and lose my suspension of disbelief. Sometimes, it may be that the required background for the change has not been provided. Other times, it's obvious that the changes are simply ratings stunts and damn the characters. The characters are just puppets in the hands of the creators, and the creators can make those characters do whatever they want them to do, say whatever they want them to say. Really, it's when the puppet strings become exposed, and you know that the story telling decisions have been made without regard to the past development and direction of the character, that I find the changes truly off-putting.

There's a contradiction between my sense of fannish entitlement and the real life way that television programs and networks operate--a contradiction that's become extreme in an era of declining ratings and the predicted "death of network programming." I want television shows to make internal sense, but continuing with story telling that's only producing mediocre ratings isn't something the networks want to do. Networks need to continue pulling in new viewers (given the way that Nielsens are determined, a program that has the same amount of viewers from year-to-year will see its ratings slowly decline) to keep up the ratings. It's easier for new viewers to get into programming that is fresh every week, that doesn't require an internal status quo to be learned and maintained.

I've known this. Back a few years ago, Chris Carter's proclamation that viewers shouldn't need to know any information about the conspiracy in order to sit down and enjoy a XF mytharc episode didn't surprise me. The decision killed the depth in the conspiracy, and made his main characters look like fools more times than not, but it was already evolving into a show were the relationship mattered more than the universe at large. I see that as the major reason that "new-era" XF fans are typically fans of the MSR and not fans of the mytharc--the mytharc mattered little to them because it didn't make internal sense. It no longer carried forward or backward, no longer required thought or knowledge to process. It also allowed XF to paint itself into dramatic corner after dramatic corner (how many times did Mulder die?) that were easily forgotten by the next time a mytharc episode aired. It was about the drama, but no longer about the story.

But there's a new aspect to my thoughts on (my own) fannish entitlement that's been bothering me the past few months. Why am I a fan? What is the purpose of being a fan?

I have been finding it hard to become fannish about any new television show. Enterprise didn't really count as new even back when it first aired, because I have been a trekkie since childhood. It was a continuation of a universe I already enjoyed. Everything else I watch has been airing for years, or is a continuation of a universe that has been airing for years.

I'm cynical. I'm not becoming fannish about television shows because I don't want to be that invested. I don't trust producers, I don't trust writers. I don't really want to care about the characters. I don't want to waste the time and energy that being fannish requires.

But I've become dependant on being fannish for my creative output. That is a major failing. I remember how much crap I used to write when I was a teenager. It may have been crap, but at least it was original. I had control over the universe, and I had control over the characters. I wasn't dependant on outside influences getting it right, or most commonly, just getting it wrong.

I have become so dependant on playing with derivative characters and universes that it has become difficult for me to develop my own. Of course, then there's the question about the value of developing my own characters and universes. The publishing world is such a cesspool that the chances of getting published become slimmer all the time. People online aren't looking for authors to share original work--they're looking for the easy out, too. Reading original work requires more background processing than reading fan fiction.

Maybe being fannish has become too limiting for me, but being original has become too difficult. I'm not sure that I want to be a fan any longer, yet I keep searching for that television program that will rekindle my fannish interests because I have become accustomed to the "ease of use" factor of fandom. Doing something over and over again lays down pathways in your brain, and you become used to using those pathways because they're worn and easy to follow. I think I've fallen prey to a problem of being an adult--the problem of being unable to change because it's just too exhausting, of following a path that is no longer enjoyable because it was once enjoyable. Perhaps it's time to turn off the television and force myself to find my sources of enjoyment elsewhere. Perhaps it's time to trust in my own creativity and story telling skills, because I cannot trust in those of others.

And yes, something that is probably nothing more than a rumor or piece of production flamebait has lead me down a path in which I have decided upon the uselessness of mass media altogether. Thank you, Paramount.
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Hey, Enterprise Fans . . . [Nov. 11th, 2003|10:03 am]
Take a lookie here:

Episode 15 Spoilers.

Someone on one of the lists--who's a pretty reliable source on things like this--claims to have spoken with production staff for the show and had it confirmed that this is the current outline for episode 15.
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[Fan Fiction Meta] *snicker* [Nov. 7th, 2003|05:33 pm]
There's an absolutely hilarious anti-A/T'P troll running around FFN right now. Using a couple of different names, too . . . you know, that turns out better when the troll changes their writing and formatting style from screen name to screen name. (Managing to have a distinctive formatting style in a FFN review window just befuddles me; where exactly is this person actually typing up her reviews?) Her main objectives seems to be to declare that all A/T'P degrades and demeans women, and that anyone who writes or reads it is just sick.

It makes me want to write a couple of really steamy A/T'P pieces and see what I get in return. Now, if only I could write mass numbers of PWPs without getting into the psychological or the angsty . . .
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[Enterprise] Twilight Thoughts [Nov. 7th, 2003|03:09 pm]
So, I posted this on Wednesday night over in my Livejournal:

*thunk* You know, it took me four hours to get the Ceti Alpha Five joke. And the hubby proclaimed--at the first mention of the planet's name--"This IS Ceti Alpha Five!" I can be quite dense at times.

I have an inner fangirl currently struggling to get out. *squeal* So cute!! *thunk*


I'm still warring with my inner Archer/T'Pol fangirl. I hope that she sticks around long enough to write down the second story in the Conflicts Trilogy (which has become a four-story series, according to my outline), because I've been getting harassed for it. Also, I'm depressed by the lack of well-written A/T'P fan fiction and that's usually the one thing that drives me back into the fan fiction writing game.

When the inner fangirl is under control, I have many qualms about Twilight. I like alternate universe/what if stories when they have far-reaching effects on the main story universe. Twilight ended too neatly, with the universe fully restored to its original form, and with the remains of nothing. It was what I'd call the ultimate plot reset--the wonderfully full and moving story which had just taken place means absolutely nothing to the future of the show. It's a cheat. Personally, I was hoping that when Archer awoke, he wouldn't repeat his line about feeling like a shuttlecraft had landed on his head, that he would show confusion about his surroundings and about where he was in time. The story deal with the concepts of existence outside of normal time/space, and I wouldn't have found it too hard to believe that vague memories of the last day of his future live might remain. The memories could easily be dismissed as concussion dreams, but a little bit of knowledge would have remained.

For me, that would have been the best way to bring the story full circle and tuck in the loose ends. It would have fulfilled the promises of the rest of the episode. Instead, the end scene was hollow and the climax meant nothing. Deus ex machina, even if their future selves were the gods that restored the proper flow of time.

Of course, the meat of the episode was exactly the type of story that will have me enraptured. A "small" story taking place against an epic background, the destruction of much of what was and what should have been, and history thrown from its course due to the result of one wrong decision. There were quite a few small stories running concurrently here: T'Pol's inability to fill Archer's shoes; a man who cannot remember his past, and will never have a future; and the other characters' descent into a form of darkness forced by the death of their world and their civilization.

I say T'Pol's inability to fill Archer's shoes, rather than T'Pol's failure at command, because I don't think it was presented as an avoidable failure. This episode added something to the ongoing story of the Expanse and the Xindi that I think has been vague until this point--the fact that the Enterprise crew really is fighting against pretty extreme odds. The Xindi have the advantage here, and if the battle stays on a purely military level, Earth will lose. The Earth-Xindi conflict must be taken to the diplomatic level for any degree of success. Something prevented the crew of the Enterprise from reaching the point where that change will occur under T'Pol's command. While it that can probably be attributed to one of the decisions we saw T'Pol make, that does not make the decision itself necessarily wrong. It just means that there's a better decision out there, and possibly a decision that only Archer has the experience to see and take advantage of.

Archer's story was heart-wrenching. Many years ago, I saw a news magazine do a report on people with mental disabilities similar to Archer's. Those disabilities were almost always the result of some sort of brain damage (whether impact damage due to an accident, or damage acquired during some form of risky brain surgery) and the stories I saw presented were similar to the story that was given to Archer. So there is some real life evidence that the type of memory damage he suffered is realistic, even if the medical reasons behind the damage were absolutely hokey.

As for whether the Xindi were directly targeting Archer--a theory that has been proposed over on Trekbbs--I reserve my judgement. To say that they were targeting Archer, and working to prevent his cure, indicates that they have control over the anomalies, and that they have informants from several *different* alternate futures working with them. That's a little much to believe.

Of course, there's the whole Archer/T'Pol relationship angle to address (*thunks squealing fangirl, again*). Obviously, the reasons that T'Pol decided to become Archer's caretaker are fairly complex, and can be addressed in a purely logical light. While I do agree that she has some emotional involvement now, and that her emotional involvement greatly deepened during their 12 years together on Ceti Alpha V, how her emotional involvement could deepen and evolve is fairly limited by Archer's memory problems. Until he is cured, he would always be just a few hours away from the professional and friendly relationship they enjoyed during their third(ish) year on the ship. Any evolution on his part would disappear within 24 hours. Each morning she must go through the same story-telling, experience similar emotional reactions from him, and walk him through a daily evolution of understanding. For them as a couple to become much more than they were that day on Enterprise is pretty much impossible. T'Pol is very aware of how he reacts, and how she reacts to his inability to change.
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