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J The Fashionista (![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} jerry_ds_girl) wrote,@ 2003-10-14 00:21:00 |
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I Fear for the Future
The following questions and answers were
collated from SAT
tests given in Oklahoma in 2002 to 16-year-old
students!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can
be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
removes sand,
Dead sheep and large pollutants like grit, canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the
Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is
no water on
the moon,! And nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where
the sun joins
in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male
gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks
forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the
brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the
brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I, O
and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian
Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are like sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a
characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and
so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
The following questions and answers were
collated from SAT
tests given in Oklahoma in 2002 to 16-year-old
students!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can
be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it
removes sand,
Dead sheep and large pollutants like grit, canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes
them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the
Moon. All
water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is
no water on
the moon,! And nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where
the sun joins
in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are
elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male
gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks
forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
(E.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the
brainium, the borax
and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the
brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I, O
and U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a
condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian
Section."
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are like sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a
characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and
so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
