Drew Fuller drew, Keven Zegers ziggy, Matthew Gray Gubler gray and Jesse Spencer jessespencer sit down to a meal together
20 February 2007, crossposted
Drew is pacing. Him. Andrew Fuller. Pacing. His hands are clammy, his heart is thumping in his chest and he can't seem to get a handle on himself. He's just nervous. Very nervous since he and Kevin arrived in Citadel and are now waiting for his best friend Gray to walk through the doors.
Smiling letting his eyes fall on the lovely man with him, he tugs him closer, kissing Kevin soundly. "You okay?" There. That's better, he thinks as he relaxes with the familiar feel of Kevin in his arms.
"Sure," Kevin says, voice calm but eyes a bit squinty. He hugs Drew. "No big deal." Just some guy you've fucked - some guy that you've known forever and are best friends with - yeah - no big damn deal. He tries to smile.
"Good." Drew grins, hugging Kevin, glad for his presence--that he agreed although for some odd reason, Drew has this nagging feeling in the back of his head that Kevin's hesitant about this. Sighing, he runs his hand down Kevin's back, keeping him tucked to his side just as he hears voices approaching through the doorway.
Feeling the ever so slight change in Drew's body at the exact same moment that he hears someone coming makes Kevin wish he went in for kitten play, cause he's feeling the distinct urge to hiss - or cough up a fur ball. Instead he takes a breath and plasters on a smile.
Gray stands outside for a moment, looking at the door...once again trying to wrangle his protective instinct in enough that he won't just smack the shit out of Kevin when he first sees him. He's going to attempt to play nice--for Drew's sake, and for Jesse's as well. And he's also determined to have a ...private conversation with Kevin before this little meeting, or at least the trip to LA, concludes. Taking a deep breath, he squeezes Jesse's hand.
Jesse squeezes Gray's hand back, tugging him in closer and wrapping his free arm around his lover's shoulder. There isn't much to say, he knows the details of what happened and Gray's loyalty to his friends is amazing. So, he merely brushes his lips in a soft kiss across Gray's temple. "I'm here, love. Anything you need...even if it is a sharp reminder to play nice." Jesse pulls back to look into Gray's eyes, expression deadly serious. "We stay only as long as you are comfortable, no matter the reason, okay?"
"It will be fine, I'm sure," Gray says, trying to convince himself as much as Jesse. "And I really am excited for you to meet Drew...and I haven't seen him in so long it's ridiculous..." Leaning against his lover for a moment, Gray finally smiles. "Come on...let's do this. Standing out here agonizing over it won't solve anything."
Dipping his head in for a quick kiss, Jesse pulls back with a grin. "So very true, love. And, I can't wait to meet your friend." His hand cups against Gray's cheek as he leans forward to brush the lightest of kiss over his lips. "At least it's not half as nerve-wracking as meeting your mum." Stepping back, he keeps a tight hold of Gray and then opens the door for his lover.
"That's the spirit..." Gray mutters to himself as he moves through the door, still holding onto Jesse's hand. He looks around for a moment and then spots Drew first. "Here goes," he says under his breath, glancing at Jesse before starting towards the pair. The smile on his face is genuine, it's been so long since he's seen Drew...
Drew quickly gives Kevin a kiss on his temple, smiling down at him and then giving him one tight squeeze against his side before he lets him go, whispering. "It'll be okay." Saying that more to himself than anything. He has a wide grin on his face as he strides over to Gray; so very glad to see his best friend once again. "Gray..." he says softly, affection lacing his voice. Drew instantly wraps him in a tight embrace, holding that for long moments, hand rubbing up and down the man's back. "It's so good to see you," he says, a soft whisper against his ear before Drew finally let's his friend go.
Jesse lets go of his lover's hand as the other man approaches and then embraces him. The sharp jab of -jealousy?- strikes his spine and he breathes out softly. There's nothing to be jealous of, he knows that but suddenly seeing Gray in the other man's arms, a lover's arms makes him have to work at keeping his breathing even. His smile is still plastered across his face and he nods at the other man sitting at the table, guessing it must be Kevin.
Attempting a genuine smile, Kevin returns the acknowledgement of him by Gray's companion. He presses his lips together and then turns to take a sip of water.
Gray holds onto Drew for a few long moments, breathing in his scent--remembering the feel of him (and if he's honest, postponing the inevitable). Finally though, he does draw back, smiling at Drew. "Hey there," he greets with a crooked grin on his face. Turning back to Jesse, he takes his lover's hand and tugs him close. "Drew, this is Jesse...Jesse, this is Drew." He knows maybe it's a touch rude, but he'll let Drew handle the introductions of Kevin.
Jesse's grip tightens around Gray's hand imperceptibly as he extends his hand to Drew and nods. "Drew, nice to meet you. Gray's told me a lot about you." His smile is genuine, knowing just how important he is to Gray.
Grinning wide, Drew takes Jesse's hand, shaking it with just a touch of enthusiasm, his face with a hint of amusement. Hell, it's not everyday he gets to meet one of a few (if not the only one) that Gray falls in love with. "Pleasure," he says, then looks over his shoulder, holding out a hand for Kevin. "This," he says, love in his eyes as he waits for Kevin to come nearer, "...is my Kevin. Kevin, Gray's Jesse." Drew tugs Kevin to his chest, arms wrapping around his waist and hooking his chin over the younger man's shoulder gaze flicking to Gray with an even bigger smile.
Standing straight, Kevin dips his head and smiles.
Offering his hand to Kevin, Jesse shakes it and smiles at him. "Pleasure to meet you, Kevin."
"Yeah, you too," Kevin says, shaking and flicking his eyes as Gray. "Hey, good to see you again." He knows he shouldn't be an ass, but - it's just too easy.
The stiffening of his lover beside him has Jesse worrying just a bit. Tugging lightly once he has his hand back, the hand holding Gray's releases him and slides around his waist to anchor their hips together.
Gray can't help the slight glare that he gives to Kevin, eyes flashing a bit before he finally gets himself under some semblance of control. "Kevin," he says with a nod, voice neutral as he schools his features again. Watching Drew with him, the love and happiness in his eyes--on the one hand, Gray is very glad for him, but on the other he still remembers what Kevin had done to Drew, and how it had left him and who had picked up the pieces. Do it again and you won't be able to run far enough, he vows silently.
Drew feels the sudden tension as soon as Gray and Kevin greeted each other. He groans inwardly, thinking, if both the people that are the most important in his life won't get along - he'll have to throttle both. He knows where it's all coming from though. Knows how Gray helped him get back to his feet and get his head on straight after Kevin left him and for that he is immensely grateful. But Kevin... Kevin he knows is regretful of his past actions but more importantly, Drew knows that Kevin loves him. That thought causes him to look down at Kevin and he smiles, dipping his head down to kiss his cheek. He just hopes that at the end of this, both of them would understand (or at the very least, tolerate) the other. Drew doesn't think he can live without either one of them in his life. He clears his throat. "C'mon everyone, lets sit down, get some drinks, order food and-- catch up." He smiles wide, gesturing to the table in their private dining room.
"Yeah, a drink sounds great," Kevin says and then looks up at Drew, smiling softly.
"Okay," Gray says, looking away from Kevin as he sits down as well.
Jesse settles next to Gray, putting his chair close and wrapping his arm tight around his lover. Pressing a kiss to Gray's temple, he closes his eyes and just breathes him in. "Love you, Gray...you know that. Now breathe for me. You can do this. Drew means that much."
After a server takes their drink orders, (and none too soon because Drew thinks he can cut the tension with a knife), Drew turns to face Gray. "So how was your trip back home? Win anything?" he laughs, reaching for Kevin's hand and clasping them, keeping it over his thigh right under the table.
Letting Jesse's soft words distract him, he tears his gaze away from Kevin and looks to Drew, chuckling--though he leans heavily against Jesse. "You know I don't care for gambling all that much, but Jesse won a bit--said I was his good luck charm. My parents asked after you, they say you need to come visit them."
Kevin's nostrils flare, but he sits quiet, holding Drew's hand and listening.
Drew squeezes Kevin's hand on his lap. "Yeah? I should visit. It's been a long time. I think we were still working when I last had some of your Mom's awesome cooking. God knows how you stay skinny having lived in that house." Chuckling, Drew flicks his gaze to Kevin. "Maybe we should take on a road trip after you're done filming. Might be nice to see Las Vegas." Leaning forward, Drew kisses Kevin, pulling back with a smile before he turns to face Jesse. "So how did you find Las Vegas? Was it your first visit there?" The server comes back with their drink orders and Drew thanks her before he looks toward Jesse again.
"It was fabulous. The Venetian was beautiful and it was nice to meet Gray's family." Jesse smiles, and leans into Gray's body. "I was terrified of the Gubler's until we'd been there a bit and honestly, I couldn't have hoped for a better reception or more loving family." He turns to look at Gray, happiness and love shining on his face. His lover knows just how different it was for him. "My familial experience is about as far on the other side of the pendulum as you could get, so the experience was truly unique. I think we may have convinced them to come to London sometime for a visit."
Kevin listens, leg pushing against Drew's for the contact.
The thought of Kevin possibly going to meet and hang out with his family has Gray tensing a bit. "I'm just glad they didn't scare Jesse off," he states, managing to even smile and chuckle.
"It's not like they're daunting you know." Drew playfully punches his best friend, grinning at him brightly. "I'm glad they made you feel welcome. They do have their way about that," Drew agrees as he addresses Jesse, his hand squeezing Kevin's whom he's noticed is very quiet. He leans over and nuzzles his cheek with the tip of his nose. "You okay? Want to order food now?" Drew pulls back and runs his fingers through Kevin's hair, suddenly lost in him, almost forgetting they have company. He clears his throat, which he seems to be doing a lot today. "How about you? Ready to order food? I can go get us the server..."
Chuckling softly as he realizes Drew's attention is lost, Jesse answers anyway, for Gray's benefit. "They didn't scare me off a bit. In fact, it's the first real welcome I've had in a family ever." And Gray knows just how much that means to Jesse.
Gray smiles softly at Jesse's words, squeezing his hand.
Kevin looks at Drew and smiles. "Yeah, thanks."
With a grin and a nod at his companions, Drew excuses himself and he leaves the room to search for a server.
Watching Drew go, it's a good thing Jesse is sitting next to him or he'd have let loose on Kevin right in that moment.
Jesse can feel the tension ratcheting up as Drew leaves the table, so he tightens his grip on Gray and smiles at Kevin. "So, Kevin. What do you do?"
Kevin blinks and looks at Jesse. "I'm an actor. I used to model, that's how I met Drew," he says, eyes cutting to Gray and brow furrowing before he looks back at Jesse. "But now I just act."
Nodding, the answer not really giving them anywhere to go, Jesse tries a smile. "That would explain why you look familiar, then." His hand strokes lightly over Gray, wherever he can touch as they table falls into a stilted silence.
It takes every bit of self control Gray has to keep his mouth shut at the...tone Kevin takes with Jesse for seemingly not knowing he's an actor. His hand tightens on Jesse's before he makes himself relax his grip. "It's how we all met actually," he mutters under his breath.
Trying for a calming breath, Kevin nods at Gray's words and then looks at Jesse. "I've been in a couple of things that did well. You work?"
"No, actually I don't." Jesse smiles ruefully. "Have never had to, so I never have." He's still getting used to Gray's world and frankly, doesn't miss the ostentation of his former crowd. And it finally occurs to him that he just might want to find something to do. Then Jesse looks at Gray and knows that he wants to be free to be where Gray is, no matter where that might be and no matter what his lover might be doing.
Must be nice. Kevin nods, looking around for Drew. He fidgets with his napkin before glancing at Gray. "You still at the school?"
"A school, not the same one. I'm in London proper now," Gray responds, as polite as he can manage. School, that's a safe topic right? He still intends to get Kevin alone and have a little talk with him, but he doesn't want to subject Jesse to it either. So, Kevin isn't the only one looking around for Drew to come back. Gray's not sure how long he can hold his tongue.
Right before Drew walks back in the room, he takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. He's hoping there will be no bloodshed as soon as he walks back in and that thought makes him chuckle. He loves them both. God, what he's done to deserve having Gray and Kevin in his life, he will never know. But what he does know, is that he wants them both to bury the animosity. He hopes that by getting them together now and again - like today - that both will learn to like each other. Okay, that may be pushing it, but at least, right now, they're still civil, right? He walks in with a large grin. "Server's coming, everyone, grab your menus and let's have lunch." He looks from one to the other and gathering from the expression on their faces, things may not be going as smoothly as he hopes. Drew inwardly groans.
"Thank you, Drew." Jesse smiles at Gray's best friend, picking up a menu and handing it to Gray before kissing his lover's cheek and curling his arm around Gray's shoulder to lean in and look at the menu. He knows that sometimes one of the privileges of being the boyfriend is the excuse to be cuddled up together. "Anything in particular that you want for lunch today, love?"
Kevin huffs quietly, looking at Drew. "Just a sandwich I think, turkey, 'kay?"
The huff isn't lost on Gray, but he tries to ignore it. "Simple--a burger," he responds, glancing at the menu, not really sure he's in the mood to eat at all.
"That's it?" Jesse looks concerned as his gaze rakes Gray's face. Worry for his lover is floating up and he tightens his arm. This whole affair will require a discussion later.
"Okay," Drew smiles at Kevin, noting the defensive body language and then he turns his attention to his best friend, seeing the expression on his face and Drew lets out a huff of breath. The tension is palpable in the air and one would be blind to not see it. Drew shakes his head, he was a fool to believe that this was going to be a smooth and enjoyable evening. One more exhale, long and drawn out and then Drew decides to speak. "Jesse," he starts, "I know that you're well aware of what's going on here. I'm sure Gray has clued you in." He looks at his best friend, a small smile is sent his way. "And excuse me if I decide to be blunt because I know this doesn't involve you."
Now he faces Gray, then his eyes drag over to Kevin. "You two, bar my family, are the most important people in my life. I love you both. But this can't go on. Please." The look on Drew's face is utmost pleading, desperate, wanting this - this - tension to ebb away completely. "I need you both in my life. Equally though in different capacities. You know this. But Kevin, Gray is my best friend and will remain so. He will always be here, with me." Drew looks at Gray. "Man.. I know... And it may seem to you that I am taking a big leap of faith here but I love Kevin, and we're together... More importantly, I believe him, that he loves me and -- and that he made a mistake." A deep sigh, Drew's heart clenching tight and he feels like the breath is being pushed out of him slowly. "Please... I just want you two to bury the hatchet... Whatever the hell it is." Drew lets out a the breath that seems to have been caught in his chest and he hangs his head down, shaking it, whispering once more, "Please..."
Hand me a hatchet and I'll bury it.. Kevin thinks and then lifts his napkin as a untimely snigger sounds. He takes a breath and looks up. "Fine, fine, I'm sorry. But," he looks at Gray. "You don't trust me, I know that. I'm not thrilled about you. Can't we just - call it even?"
Gray listens to everything Drew has to say, and while he does understand where his best friend is coming from, he's also not willing to lie and say it will be that easy. "Call it even?" he inquires at Kevin's words. "No, I'm afraid I'm not ready to 'call it even', not until a bit more time has passed. Drew seems willing to forgive you and move on with things, and I'll support him in that--but it doesn't mean I have to like or trust you or not be suspicious of you." he glances to Drew. "I'm sorry. I'm not saying I won't try because I will and I'll hold my peace. I just won't do you a disservice by lying either." Looking back to Kevin, he weighs his words for a moment, having intended to say what he's about to anyway, but in private. still, Drew had dragged this out at this moment. "I do want to be clear about one thing though: you rip his heart out again, and there's no place you'll be able to hide from me this time."
"And if you fill him full of poison shit about me just cause you can and the same goes for you. Deal?" Kevin says.
Jesse holds Gray's hand, keeping close and supporting him in his stand. He will be behind his lover one hundred percent. Standing by a friend is a valuable trait and he knows just how hard this is for Gray to do.
"Kevin, please!" Drew frowns, eyes narrowed, he looks at Kevin shaking his head with a disappointed sigh. He already let that little snigger slide but he's not about to tolerate anything else even though he knows it's Kevin's way of dealing with things. Turning his attention back to Gray, Drew holds out a hand, smiling a bit apologetically at his lover's actions. "I expected nothing less from you. I know you'll be straightforward with me and I appreciate that, especially knowing you've got my back. It's the same with me, you know that right?" Drew smiles, holding Gray's hand and squeezing it. "What I wanted tonight is a start--a fresh start--with you knowing that Kevin, he's back in my life now. I just want us to have a nice dinner, get to know each other especially with Jesse here with us," He sends the man an apologetic smile, nodding as he addresses everyone.
Now he turns to Kevin, a sad look in his eyes. "Kev, baby, I don't think Gray will, as you said, fill me with poison," Drew decides to leave the profanity out and he leans in voice quiet. "Baby, you can do this for me, yes? Please..."
So once again Gray is the poor put upon one and I'm the asshole, fine - just fucking fine. He looks at Drew and gives him a nod. "Sorry," he says and turns to Gray, eyes hard but trying for a neutral expression. "Sorry Gray, nice dinner, fresh start. Okay?"
Drew pulls back with a quiet, "Thank you," even if he knows that Kevin is not entirely happy with the situation. He'll just have to deal with the aftermath later.
Gray isn't sure he's ready to accept a 'fresh start', then again he doesn't exactly buy the words from Kevin either. "I'll try my best," he finally responds. Frankly, he needs more time before he can accept it fully, but he wouldn't try to convince Drew away from Kevin, at least not without more reason than past actions.
"Happy?" Kevin asks, tempering the sound of the word with a smile as he looks at Drew.
"I think that makes a lot of sense." Jesse adds his thoughts as he watches the tension visibly float around them all. His hand tightens on Gray's and he brings the hand to his lips for a kiss. "And, I am looking forward to getting to know you...the both of you."
"Fair enough," Drew sends a gentle smile Gray's way, appreciating his best friend's candor knowing that he himself needs to hear it and really, as he told Gray, he expects nothing less from his best friend. As disappointed as Drew is with Kevin and his antics, he knows deep down that his lover's actions are more because he's on the defensive--something Drew knows he will have to address later. "Thank you, Gray, Jesse." Finally he faces Kevin, staring in his eyes for long moments before he answers the question. "I will be," he says with a small smile, still feeling the tension hovering over them but even with Drew putting all that out there, he's not sorry he did so. At least, a truce has been called, now all they need is time.
Kevin's gaze slides away and he nods. "Fine." Smoothing a napkin in his lap he picks up a menu. "Anyone hungry?"
"I am." Jesse signals the server to come closer and breathes out, hoping the rest of the lunch will go a bit smoother. He orders more drinks for he and Gray and then orders their lunches, his hand never leaving his lover's grip.
Drew looks up, meeting Gray's eyes, he sends him a looks that says he appreciates this--for accepting, for trying, for understanding and he gives his best friend a nod of thanks and a grateful smile.
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