The Mad Bishounen

Why the hell have I not talked about this yet?

2009-10-14T14:39:59Z

So there have been a couple new games I've been playing of late. FF III has been one of them, certainly, but there's another I've been throwing immense amount of time into that I haven't talked about at all, and I don't know why.

Team Fortress 2.

Part of why I haven't talked about it may be that its appeal is so beautifully simple: Kill shit. Kill shit with fire, with explosives, with an oversized and ridiculously phallic minigun, with remote sentries, with absurdly satisfying headshots, with the humongous motherfucker in front of you that you just made invincible...just kill shit. It's so wonderfully cathartic.

Of course, there is a hell of a lot more to it than just that. At this point I've had the chance to try out all 9 classes, and I'm beginning to work out my favorites. There are a number of maps that I love playing Sniper on, just because you can nail people from clear across the freaking map and they never see it coming. Heavy is kind of a go-to for me, provided someone else is playing medic. Playing heavy is very simple: Meat-tank, and kill everything that moves. I absolutely adore playing the Demoman when I get the chance; explosive chaos 101. The pyro is also a good time if I feel like running into large groups of enemies and getting truly absurd numbers of kills.

There are a few I'm less fond of, or haven't gotten the hang of. Engineer is cool but only if I'm in a very patient mood, and there are usually other people on the team who are better at it than me. Scout I just can't get the hang of. The principle is easy enough, run and gun, but I'm not twitchy enough to be good at it. Soldier was my initial favorite but the more I play the more I find that he's very limited in many regards. Balanced, but by the same token there's no one thing that he's really good at. I like spy, but it's a very situational class and a difficult one to get the hang of. Medic is cool and all but I find it difficult to stay alive long enough to be of much good (the "shoot this motherfucker first" effect).

The game itself is just immensely fun. The cartoony style and raucous dialogue fit right in with the "Meet the X" videos they put out, and the whole game is just straightforwardly fun. I've only had a couple games where the teams were unbalanced and the game auto-balanced them after a little while. Voicechat is, yes, occasionally very annoying (though the incidence of homophobic/racial slurs has been lower than I was lead to believe), but it's also been extremely useful and in some games hilariously funny. The best places to play are definitely clan-owned servers, where you get people who are both good and know how to coordinate a team. The achievements are also hilarious. You get one Spy achievement for disguising yourself and getting an enemy medic to heal you, then stabbing that medic in the back. It's called "FYI I am a spy." The medic has one for using your melee weapon to kill disguised spies that ask you for healing, called "FYI I am a medic." It's fantastic. The more achievements the more gear you unlock. I already have new weapons for the Sniper and Spy, and I'm pretty close to getting some Pyro and Heavy stuff.

So yeah, TF2 is a good damn time and a great way to cut loose after a long day. It's far from perfect, but as online shooters go I have yet to see better.

I HAD ME A VISION

2009-10-13T01:30:38Z

Well, more of an epiphany. I realized you can trace the evolution of Final Fantasy gameplay through its experience systems, and that it's an oddly logical progression. Observe:

FFI: Straight-up XP - > levels - > power. Easy.

FFII: XP goes out the window for horribly broken skills-get-better-as-you-use-them hidden stats.

FFIII: XP returns, but the hidden stats based on usage return in a dumbed-down form in the job levels.

FFIV: XP and XP alone, in the model of FFI

FFV: Perhaps the crucial turning point in the evolution of FF gameplay, the XP system is supplemented with a secondary XP, in this case job points, which yield abilities.

FFVI: Next logical step: XP and AP

FFVII: As VI, but AP goes on Materia instead of characters.

FFVIII: XP alongside leveling up GFs instead of leveling up Materia

FFIX: Deliberate throwback to VI's system, almost verbatim.

FFX: XP and AP have bastard child, the Sphere Grid.

FFXII: Sphere Grid grows up, changes name to License Board and marries a girl from the traditional XP clan.

It's really kind of cool that you can see the development of their gameplay ideas over each iteration. Heaven only knows what XIII is going to do, of course.

Video Game Meme

2009-10-07T18:09:59Z

1. What was the first video game you have ever played?
Sonic the Hedgehog 2, I believe, at a friend's house

2. What was your first console?
My brother's Intellivision, but the first one I bought was a Genesis.

3. Have you ever visited a video game arcade?
Several

4. What was your first handheld?
GameBoy. Original. Brick with purple buttons.

5. What was the first game you've beaten/cleared completely?
Not counting Mario Teaches Typing, ummm....you know, I'm not entirely sure. The first I can remember is Starfox 64, but I think I beat some computer games before that.

6. Games based off of real sports: Yay or Nay?
Only if you mean "based off" in the manner of "Like [sport X] but with giant robots."

7. Online games: Yay or nay?
Yay, esp. those with good mods.

8. Do you play any Massively Multiplayer Online RPG games? (MMORPGs?)
Not currently

9. Do you play any virtual pet games? (Neopets, Teripets, Aftermathzone, etc.)
No.

10. Puzzle games and Strategy games: Yay or Nay?
Yay indeed!

11. Do you play any RPGs?
Several, but none at this instant. Both RPGs and JRPGs, I might add

12. Do you play any Platformer games?
Hell yes.

13. What was the first game/console/handheld of yours that stopped working?
The Intellivision

Characters/Plot

14. Do you actually care if a game has a plot or do you just play games for the gameplay?
Varies from game to game, for me. Sometimes I just want to blow shit up, sometimes I'll overlook gaping gameplay flaws for a good story.

15. Name a few video game characters that are your favorites.
Kefka, Kuja, Zidane, The Haar (Radiant Dawn edition), Samus

16. Name a few series that are your favorites
Final Fantasy, Fire Emblem, X-universe, Blizzard RTSs, Command and Conquer, Sonic games

17. Has a video game ever made you cry?
Out of frustration, occasionally in my youth. Out of emotion...FFVI brought me close a couple times.

18. Has a video game character annoyed you so much that you wanted him removed from the game?
Oh yes. Makalov, for starters. Every Sonic character except Shadow that didn't exist on the Genesis.

19. Do you "pair" or "ship" characters up with one another? (make/create/write romance involving them)
Mostly in jest, but occasionally in all seriousness (HAAR/NEPHENEE IS MY OTP)

20. Do you write video game fanfiction?
No.

21. Do you draw video game fanart?
I wish. I can't draw at all.

22. Do you come up with theories on how a character came to be/what he or she would do in a situation/why he or she is moody/etc.
Yeah.

23. Are you a "fanboy" or "fangirl" of any character?
Unashamedly.

Boss Battles/Villains

24. Hardest Boss Battle
Sephiroth in KHI. Possibly tied by Kurt Zeiza in same. Non-optional boss...Kuja, at the end of Disc 3 in FFIX.

25. Most Frustrating Boss Battle
Kurt Zeiza, the final, FINAL boss of Kirby 64

26. Most Rewarding Boss Battle
Sephiroth, KHI.

27. Funnest Boss Battle
Kefka, FFVI. Just letting loose my party's absurd powers and not having to hold back at all made it a blast.

28. Most Boring Boss Battle
One of the bosses in Sonic & Knuckles, who had brief periods of vulnerability and excruciatingly long pauses between them, with no attacks.

29. Boss Battle that dragged out for a long, long time
Kefka, but really Yiazmat even though that was deliciouschaos playing and not me.

30. Boss Battle with the coolest music
The Super Sonic final boss in Sonic 3 & Knuckles, followed by Sephiroth.

31. Most Surprising Boss Battle
Chameleon in KHI.

32. What's your all time favorite villain?
Kefka. You have to ask?

33. What's your all time least favorite villain?
Zeromus. Where the fuck did you come from.

34. Do you ever feel sorry for the villains?
Sometimes, not usually.

35. Are there any villains that seem like they should be playing for the good guys, but aren't?
Quite a number in Fire Emblem (only counting those you can't recruit), notably Jill's dad.

36. Most malicious villain?
Kefka, though Robotnik/Eggman is a fucker for sure.

37. Most suprising villain?
Hm. Final boss of IX.

Favorites

38. What is your all-time favorite 2D Game?
Sonic the Hedgehog 2

39. What's your favorite 3D game? (PS1/N64 generation)
Starfox 64, FFVII

40. What's your favorite arcade game?
Marvel Vs. Capcom, any edition

41. What's your favorite next-gen game? (Gamecube/PS2/X-Box)
Dead Rising or Mirror's Edge. ETA: well, that's actually current-gen. From the Gamecube generation, Smash Bros. Melee, Disgaea, Disgaea some more and Killer7.

42. Sequels/long series: Yay or nay?
Sometimes. Noncontinuous sequels like Final Fantasy or Fire Emblem more than long continuities.

43. What's your favorite Online Game?
Team Fortress 2, my god.

44. What's your favorite console?
PS2

45.What's your favorite handheld?
DS Lite

46. Have you ever got yourself involved in a "console war"? (arguing that a console is better than another console)
Back in the Genesis/Nintendo days, yeah, but I was like 10.

47. Have you ever defended a character/game/console you liked in an argument? Which one?
Yes, game, Super Smash Bros., I forget which incarnation.

48. Name a game that you like but everyone else seems to hate.
Sonic Adventure II Battle.

49. Name a character that you like but everyone else seems to hate.
mmm, Marth maybe? Gatrie or Yuffie more likely.

50. Name a game that you hate but everyone else seems to like.
"Hate" is a little strong but I am not fond of Halo

51. Name a character that you hate but everyone else seems to love.
Again, "hate" might be a bit much but Gau.

Miscellaneous

52. Have you ever stopped before you finished a game because it was too frustrating to go on?
Yes. Go to hell, FFV.

53. Will you stop at NOTHING to get 100% in a video game?
Depends somewhat on the game. Often, yes.

54. Have you ever injured yourself at a video game?
I've given myself wicked blisters from playing too much Smash, but other than that no.

55. Has a horror/survival genre video game scared you to the point that you refused to finish the game? Did you get nightmares from said game?
No, but I have gotten nightmares from video games occasionally.

56. Have you ever thrown a controller/disc/cartridge in a fit of frustration?
Yes, a controller.

57. Do you need to blow/clean certain games to get them to play?
Yep, my Sonic games on my Genesis.

58. Have you ever played a game for so long that you missed sleep over it?
Many, many times. Hell, these days it's about the only way I get to play much at all.

59. Were you ever involved in the Pokemon craze?
Yes, for a bit.

60. Last but not least: Do you picture yourself playing video games 10, 20, or 30 years from now?
Yes, though some of them may be the same games I'm playing now.

X3: Terran Conflict

2009-09-25T17:12:13Z

I'm not sure if I should call this a review or just me rambling or what, but here goes. I picked up X3:TC after the last post I made about X3 and Freelancer a month ago. It is a very different beast from X3, and a distinct, massive improvement. Let me run down some of the good stuff:

- The mission system has been overhauled and improved by a factor of several thousand. In the previous game you had to just fly from station to station, docking and looking at each bulletin board. You had no way of knowing if there was a job available or whether you would even be qualified to do it (based on your trade or combat rank). Once you started a mission, you got almost zero guidance, so if you didn't already know where you were going you were basically fucked. The new system only offers you missions that you are qualified for, first off. Second, they've added a handy mission-tracker and guidance system to help you get it done. Third, stations now have little symbols floating above them if someone on them has a mission available, separated into four easy categories: Trade (usually deliver stuff or FedEx-type missions), Fight (Kill Shit), Build (Construct this type of station, really only relevant after you've got a pretty strong financial infrastructure of your own) and Think (various oddjobs, including asteroid scanning, tracking people, and finding smugglers). There are way, WAY more types of missions too. The old game basically had "take me from here to there" and "go kill this motherfucker," with the occasional "take this stuff from here to there" thrown in for variety. Egosoft listened to all the complaints people had and built a new, almost perfect system basically from scratch. It's fantastic.

- General graphical upgrade. X3 was damn pretty, but in X3:TC they upgraded the ship models a ton (the level of detail on even the smallest scouts is fantastic) and improved the weapons effects something fierce. Explosions are particularly improved, and missile contrails are awesome. On that topic...

- Missiles are now fucking awesome. In X3, missiles were unreliable and usually underpowered, with one missile that was decent for taking down small fast things and a couple that were handy against big slow motherfuckers, and about twenty different varieties of useless crap. There are now new missiles, including awesome cluster missiles that can decimate whole wings of fighters, and all missiles are more accurate, easier to see (so you can both aim them better and shoot down incoming missiles). They're also very pretty, rather than the barely visible blobs they were in the last game. They really made them a major part of combat, and even designed a new ship class, the missile frigate, around them.

Then we get into the general, expected sort of improvements:

New systems. Tons. Including, for the first time, the Terran systems, which are RADICALLY different from anything in X3, but also more systems appended to the stuff in X3.

New stuff to own. New weapons, ships, even a couple of new goods to trade.

It's all totally awesome. They revamped how the story works, too. Rather than following this one guy who is Someone Important, the way to get the plot is apparently to play through the game as several different characters who are just generic sorts from different conditions. For example, you can start as a terran fighter pilot, an Argon (humans from the X universe) trader, or pilots and traders of various other races and backgrounds. I started as an Argon trader and have barely started on his portion of the plot, because as with all X games you can do as much or as little plot as you want. I'll probably do bits and pieces of it throughout for the often disproportionate rewards you get (ships, money, even stations sometimes), but they're much less intrusive and much, much less annoying than the plot of X3.

In conclusion: this shit is AWESOME.

That is kind of interesting

2009-09-03T15:21:09Z

Ever wondered what a perfect smash-and-grab looked like?

Now you know. The fun starts around the 1 minute mark.

Blah blah blah, evil theft, smash and grab, etc. Step back for a second and admire a well-oiled criminal machine. Efficient, precise, almost certainly planned out some time in advance. They pulled an insanely large haul in 31 seconds with a brick and their own two hands. Evil? Yes. Do I condone it, approve of it, or regard it as anything more than lawbreaking for personal gain? No. Am I still impressed that five people can accomplish so much in 31 seconds through planning, coordination and nearly flawless execution? Yes.

Freelancer and X3

2009-08-25T13:27:06Z

GOD DAMN MUSE MAKING ME WRITE INSTEAD OF WORKING arghargharghargh.

Anyways.

I'm reasonably certain that there is exactly one member of my flist who is going to have even passing knowledge of what I'm talking about here, so I'll be generous in the background.

I love space economic sim games. This is a genre that stands on the mighty foundation of Privateer and EV Nova. By and large, you tend to start with one dinky ship in a vast universe and have to go about making your fortune by trade, bounty hunting, piracy, etc. There are a number of games in this genre at this point (and one MMO, EVE), and they vary pretty heavily in the specifics, but the general concept is the same.

There are two that I have a particular fondness for and have played to excess: Freelancer and X3: Reunion. Freelancer is a much older game. I picked it up in highschool and played it obsessively for...more than a year, I think. Let me tick off a few features that are relevant to the comparison at hand:

- You get one ship. You can buy new ships to replace it and customize it to a pretty healthy degree, but you only get one at a time, ever. Also, you are restricted to fighters and freighters. There are a few capital ships strewn about the game, but they're just for looking.

- When trading, prices never vary. A station that buys a product at a given price will always buy it at that price. Same for selling. Supplies never run out.

- The game is not at all to scale. Planets are laughably small, distances are very short, and when crossing them you have two boons: Cruise Drive (a mode where your weapons shut off but your speed triples) and Trade Lanes (set routes that allow you to traverse large distances at a speed approx. 3.5 times faster than cruise drive). This is not counting between-system jump-gates, of course.

- Physics are, at best, fanciful, and there is sound in space.

Now let's talk about X3. X3 is bigger, badder, more complicated, and doesn't have a learning curve so much as a vertical wall. By comparison:

- You can only FLY one ship at a time, but you can own as many as you can afford. You can also own EVERY SHIP YOU SEE IN THE GAME with...four exceptions, I believe, three of which are the inhuman alien menace of the plot and one of which is an easter egg flying saucer. Furthermore, you can build your own space stations.

- Prices run on a very well-executed supply and demand model. Each space station produces something and requires something to produce it. These quantities are finite, and the rate of production is more or less set. Prices for buying resources will vary depending on how much the station already has, and selling price will depend on how much the station has in stock. You can do all kind of fun economic manipulations by constructing stations that take in various resources, making them rarer and thus more profitable in an area.

- The game is to scale, and you are insignificant. You never get closer to planets than high orbit, but they are appropriately vast. You never get ANYWHERE near stars. Even ship scaling is impressive, the largest ships are literally over a kilometer long, and the smallest are only a couple dozen meters. Yes, you can fly things in that scale, and often dock the smaller ones in the larger ones. However, you have no way to cover distances quickly, other than to jump to another system. So, you can cover the map of all the star systems fairly quickly, but within a sector you're restricted to your ship's top speed, usually not faster than 100-200 m/s, sometimes covering distances over 100km. Luckily, you have "time compression," which makes it so you don't spend as much real time traveling, though lots of in-game time. Also a useful economic trick, since production cycles take time.

- Physics are closer to accurate, but for some reason there is still air resistance in space (you slow down when not actively thrusting) and some, though less, sound (usually only explosions and ship-to-ship contact).

When I first got X3, I compared it and Freelancer thusly: Freelancer is like playing with a lego space shuttle, X3 is like playing with the real thing. Lately, I've felt like legos, and have started freelancer again. It is laughably simple compared to X3, but I've owned X3 so tremendously the only thing I really have left to do is start a new game and see if I can reach the apex of wealth and combat power faster. Or get X3: Terran Conflict, which is bigger and better still....which I may do when I have moneys again. Then, of course, there's EVE, which puts X3 to shame, but I'm resisting that until I have some kind of social life.

OK, that wraps up my random burst of writing. Now maybe my muse will shut up and let me get something DONE.

ETA: Aw, fft. Realized I no longer have a good excuse for not getting Terran Conflict, and I need to go shopping anyways. Oh yeah, now I'm gonna be REAL focused at work.

ETA 2: Aaand I asked the nearest Gamestop to hold on to Terran Conflict for me. I'm going to have to get everything remotely productive done before I dare go get it -_-;

A little puzzle, just for fun

2009-08-24T16:10:00Z

I gave this to a Barnes and Noble clerk to mull over earlier today. I've solved it myself, at least I think I have, but I thought I would share it for kicks.

What is the minimum number of (American) coins required to make any amount up to $1?

If you get a solution, dump it in the comments, I'll give mine in a bit.

ETA: For pete's sake, people, there's no trick >< Here, I'll give my solution in white, select to see:

My best answer so far is ten coins, but there are two possible combinations.

3 quarters

2 dimes

EITHER:

1 nickel and 4 pennies

ETA: Actually, now that I think about it, my alternate solution doesn't work, so there's just the one.

Clearly I shall have to be more devious in my future postings.

The Bat Returns

2009-08-14T01:10:15Z

Horrible Miyazaki pun aside, FUCK. At least I was awake when it got in this time. Bad news: all the windows were shut, meaning it's found another entry. Good news: I have a hunch what that other entry is, and have at least temporarily blocked it.

They're getting in through my goddamn stove.

Ok, not the stove so much as the flue above it, that channels smoke out. No grate, as it turns out. Starting to wonder if that's against code, have informed landlord, and in the mean time the fan is on.

Oh, right, but the way I found this out. I go to the bathroom, I walk out, and it was very lucky that I had just emptied my bowels because a bat whizzed by about 6" from my face. Needless to say there was much swearing. The bat and I played this game of chicken for about two minutes where I was trying to close all the doors to contain it in the "living room" (large central area) and it was making figure-8s around the room. Eventually I managed to close all the other doors and open the balcony door.

The damned flying rodent didn't want to leave at first. Eventually I blocked off part of the living room by standing there and ki'ai-ing at it. It hung on the balcony door curtains for a little bit but eventually got the idea and flew out. They really are adorable, I just don't want a wild one IN MY APARTMENT at regular intervals.

Also, still no roommate, not getting paid for my vacation this coming week, and increasingly frustrated about the whole situation.

This has officially been a weird morning

2009-08-12T11:16:19Z

There was a bat in my house when I woke up.

A BAT.

It wasn't flying around, just snoozing on my living room floor. I was quite amazed, I hadn't left any windows open overnight. It must have gotten in during the 20 minutes that I had a window open and unguarded. Either that or it found another way in, which would be somewhat alarming.

In any case, there was this bat, and I had to do something about it.

At first I thought it was dead, but as soon as I went to poke it it twitched and hissed at me, so some caution was required. After some deliberation, I picked up a top to a cardboard box and carefully shoveled it out on to my balcony, aided in the last five feet by it grabbing on to the box and hanging on it long enough for me to carry it out.

So now there's a bat on my balcony. I expect if it is well it will get up and fly off at some point, and if it's not, well, that's why god made squirrels.

ETA: Well, it was gone when I got home, so either it flew off or something took care of it. Leaning toward the former, no sign of blood or anything

Display glitch

2009-08-03T23:26:23Z

I am getting some wacky business with my flist. Anyone else getting problems like this?

Note the random F_W post in the sidebar here (The blurred out post was f-locked)

Internet and roommate hunting

2009-07-28T13:03:00Z

Comcast came and my internet is finally my own! It's rather nice and speedy, too. I am pleased.

I'm looking for a roommate via Craigslist. It's a bad sign when I can feel the crazy radiating off someone over e-mail, isn't it.

Warning: strong language

2009-07-17T21:21:31Z

HOLY SHIT MOTHERFUCKERS I'M MOTHERFUCKING BACK. LAB MACBOOK FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, BITCHES. COMCAST IS GETTING THEIR SORRY ASSES OVER HERE A WEEK FROM TOMORROW, AND WHEN THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS HOOK UP MY MOTHERFUCKING CABLE, IT'S NOT GOING INTO SOME PANSY-ASS "G" ROUTER SHIT. NO, IT'S GOING INTO A MOTHERFUCKING "N" ROUTER. WHAT IS A MOTHERFUCKING "N" ROUTER YOU ASK? IT IS THREE HUNDRED MOTHERFUCKING MEGABITS PER MOTHERFUCKING SECOND. IT EATS CABLES AND SHITS BANDWIDTH. ITS SHIT IS SO FAST YOU NEED SPECIALIZED FUCKING EQUIPMENT TO CATCH UP WITH IT. IT'S LIKE CRACK FOR YOUR INTERNET, BUT NO TUBES NEEDED. THIS SHIT SPREADS THROUGH THE FUCKING AIR. I WILL BE FUCKING BREATHING BANDWIDTH.

In the mean time, I at least have enough internet that I won't go insane over the weekend. Hooray!

Finally, some solid progress

2009-07-10T17:50:23Z

I have a car. It's registered, has its license plate and sticker where they should be, and should not need to carry me to a DMV for about two years. It also got a little workout driving me down to CT. I'm now in a hotel north of New Haven, waiting for my apartment to become habitable. Getting the car off my back is a huge relief. Now I can focus on starting my job 8:30 Monday morning and possibly actually moving into this apartment I theoretically have sometime before then. Then I can find a roommate (in two weeks), unpack my entire life, and change my residence on a few final details (credit card, bank). All while expecting to have to sprint to Baltimore on a day's notice because my great-aunt is in hospice.

I swear, two months from now my life will be sane again. In the mean time I'm enjoying my new DS and not going crazy. Chain of Memories is proving to be enjoyable, once I got into it. It took me a while to figure out I could remake rooms to provide better grinding space, but I finally got some moogle rooms which means I can FINALLY start adding to my card collection and making a deck that's halfway decent. Also I beat the living crap out of Jafar on the first try. Wasn't he supposed to be like, impossible in this one or something?

Bunkering down y'all

2009-04-22T07:05:00Z

So, just to make it clear, all my shit is f-locked until the storm of fucking crazy that is Russet Doom has passed, on the off chance that I garner attention for my plucky detectiving.

Stealth mode is GO!

*shwooop*