|Tuesday, June 24th, 2003|
My crazy life!!!!!
Called Lance today and was going to go see him but that stupid machine picked up again and I am tired of what seems to be talking to myself. I am really tired of being alone and I need some friends that understand where I am coming from. Those damn nights on the tour bus and those stupid games of Scrabble are missed. I loved the practical jokes and I loved the friendship... I also even loved the fights.
I am going to an island retreat and maybe then I will get my mind straight... I guess it is all up to me. I just need to wake up and make my own destiny..... MAKE LIFE HAPPEN!!. It will... I am sure of that...
Sir Ian wrote me an email about the island party and that was a surprise and a shock... I am now gonna make it happen with myself because just thinking about him make me hot and now I have to go and deal with it...... Hmmmmm!
Current Mood: Horny
Current Music: "Save Ferris"
E-mail for Sir Ian
Subject: RE: Island party
I am so glad that you got back with me. I have been thinking of you a lot and haven't had the guts to get back in touch with you. Last we met, I made a complete fool of myself and I would like the chance to make that up to you. You are indeed a very good looking gentleman and I would like to get to know some more of you.
I will be attending the party, I just have as of yet not sent my RSVP. I am quite certain that once you and I are allowed to meet under less strenuous situations I will be more tolerable. I have not been drinking much at all since I last visited the Establishment. That was just one act I would hate to follow with a repeat performance. Plus I am sure that I do not want to end up in a closet again unless someone is with me. *grin*
I can hardly wait to see your "Dracula".
and I hope to see you soon.
PS: Forgive me for rambling on...... I am just so excited that I received an e-mail from you. I think you are "HOT" and it shows. I feel like a giddy little schoolgirl.
Current Mood: shocked
Current Music: "Save Ferris"
|Monday, June 16th, 2003|
I can't believe I did it... I sent Christina Ricci some gifts. I think that I have lost my mind.. She is gonna have the law called on me. I must be a total fool. She will never know what it all means and the chance of her doing it to me may never happen. MAN AM I BALLSY... To many years wearing that Superman necklace. I must be nuts...
She has made comments in my journal before so she does read it... So if she reads this.. Please Ms Ricci do not send me to jail for stalking. I got your address from the EST records.
All that aside I wonder if she may have the urge to have some fun... I guess that I will see... It never hurts to try.
Current Mood: shocked
Current Music: DJ Smash...Dance music.
Special Delivery for Christina Ricci
1-Box of 100 16 penny nails (bright finish, steel)
1-12lb claw hammer (Silver in color with a black handle)
3-1ft fine sanded white pine boards with routed edges.
Dear Ms Ricci,
I know you really know nothing about me but I am sending you these items for you to use as you wish. I am sorry if I have ever offended you and would like to to accept these gifts as a token of friendship. Along with these gifts I wish for you to know one word and if you accept the gifts please consider me........BUTTERFLY.
|Monday, June 9th, 2003|
La La La.....Lost Angels..
Well here I am in the wonderful town that has brought me medium fame and fortune. It is wonderful to be back in the states. I went to Burger King today and got noticed. No one noticed me in London except at the club where I ended up making a fool of myself and it would have been better not to have been noticed.
Back in the USA!!! Where the freaks are the freaks and you are not shocked by the freaks because you know that they are freaks!!! I drove by the Viper Room just to see what the haps were and there was nothing going on. No big cars or people hanging out front..... Cruised the strip where I saw a few people I knew and then we stopped and had coffee....NOT TEA!
I have been wondering though... I have heard that Tea with Maggie is more then Tea... I would have liked to find out... I had a message on my machine when I got back home from Sir Ian... I hope that he has to come out here so I can see just what all the stories are about....
I was thinking about putting an ad in the paper... I need a "friend"... It seems that no one wants to go out with me right now except little girls...
Maybe I will call Christina Ricci...........
Current Mood: Dangerous
Current Music: Gap Band's Greatest Hits
|Wednesday, June 4th, 2003|
(Voicemail for Sir Ian)
Hello? This message is for Sir Ian. I met you at the Est last week and showed my ignorance. Unable to read the not that was given to me that night due to the dampness in my pocket, I wish we could meet to chat about it. I found you attractive and would have liked to get get to know you better. If there is some way for you to contact me tonight or tomorrow morning before my flight, I may be able to reschedule. I hope to hear from you soon.... You can reach me at the Marriott. I will be there till the last minute. If not I understand. Bye for now.
|Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003|
I am going back to the states now.....
After spending some time here in London I have decided that it might be best for me to go back home. I have done the research I needed to do for the part in the movie ( looked it all over at the EST) so it may be time to move on. London night life is always hot. I found several people (locals) that thought it would be cool to make me feel like I was one of the guys and live the "hard London Life" but they were surprised to find that it was really hard to shock me. Piercings and tattoos are not my idea of "cutting edge".
What bothers me the most is the fact that I was unable to "hook-up" with Sir Ian. He seems like someone that I might have learned a lot from. He is a nice guy as well as good looking. I guess that there will be another time for that.
I have to get back to the states because I am starting on the new movie soon. I play a "lounge singer". That is why I was in London is I have heard that several of the singers in the pubs there are really entertaining and plus I had to have an excuse.... Still alone though..... My flight leaves at about 9:30am tomorrow. I hope that he calls me... I just want to be able to sit with him once before I leave...(Him being Sir Ian)..... Justin hasn't returned my call.... Maybe he could help.... I don't want to leave... I wanted to have some "fun" while I was here... I ruined that...
Now there is the articles that are being published in the "Tattler"... I don't think I am important enough for anyone to recognize me... I hope that I slide out of here without any press. I couldn't use any bad press right now.
Waiting... Hopeing... Dreaming...
Current Music: Madonna "Greatest hits thing"
|Wednesday, May 28th, 2003|
I am such a fool........
Last night I happened to have the chance to go to the EST, for the first time and I succeeded in making a complete fool of myself. Not normally being a drinker, I proceeded to get drunk and I am sure there will be repercussions because of this action. I had big plans... I had heard through the "grapevine" that Sir Ian sorta liked me. He is a handsome man(for his age) and from what I hear quite well versed in the "arts". What was the first thing I did? Make a fool of myself in front of the only person that actually said anything nice to me the entire night.
Then I wake up in some stinking closet like a fool... No idea how I got there.... Damnit, Damnit, Damnit!!! What has happened to my life... I need to work on my self esteem or something.
I need to appoligise to Sir Ian as well as Ms Maggie Smith who put on such a cool party. I just hope and I pray that I will be able to attend again...
Current Mood: Bitch Slapped
Current Music: Silence...Stupid hangover
|Tuesday, May 6th, 2003|
Well I was bored tonight so I decided to hit a couple clubs here in town..... The last one I went to was the Splash Bar of New York. I got stuck in the bathroom..... What next?
|Monday, May 5th, 2003|
I can't navigate.....
I can't seem to control myself.
I just wonder if the rest of the world has problems with public restrooms being a "turn on"?
I have to ask this question to myself every time I go to a park. Like today, I found myself going to "pee" with frequency. Why? I found that I only had to go when others were going. Plus, I always end up finding a spot to read, hang-out or just sit close to the restrooms. Just the possibility of casual sex always comes to mind and gets me hot.....
I guess I need to think about this and see if I am really "gay" or am I just bi.
These are points I need to ponder. I am glad that now there is a place that I can put my ideas and feelings down no matter where I am.
Current Mood: irate
Current Music: Disco on Music Choice