[Private post]

Sitting here on my own in my Old Vic office and thinking it has been too fucking long since I first saw Trent's icon; over a year and I still don't have him.

Now that would be the ultimate birthday present...not this fuck awful tie my typist gave me.

[Public post]

Have just done the UK premiere for Superman. Apart from wearing a provoctively pink tie I returned home to a box of Superman shit delivered to the house. Apparently now my face is on Corn Flake boxes, tumblers, but thankfully not pyjamas. I really do not want some prepubescent wetting the bed all over my face!

One good thing which came out of the day was that Brian Singer said I played Lex Luthor half humorous half sadist. Sums me up as a person really.

My admiration goes out to Ian McKellen who has just been voted Number 1 Gay Icon in the UK.

[Locked to Ian]
We may have had our moments, but I am actually proud of you for this Ian.

I went to the MTV Awards and I must say I think I looked pretty cool...for a middle aged dude!

Cross posted to ian_mckellen's journal.

Ian is having a day to himself. Patrick is busy with his own stuff, he has no appointments, no one to see, nothing. He decides to go native and catches the tube into town. First up he goes to the National Galley to look at the Shakespeare exhibition, pops into the Portrait Gallery to check out the newest acquisitions and wander aimlessly around. He is thoroughly enjoying himself. No one appears to have recognised him, always a bonus so he decides to head to the Crypt at St Martin in the Field for a late lunch.

Having eaten an excellent meal he sits with a big glass of wine and his book. His mobile doesn't get a signal here; no one is going to bother him. Perfect.

( Spacey walks away from another interview. )

I heard that your piano was damaged in Katrina so I hope this is a suitable replacement.

A long time ago we spoke about me singing while you played. I don't usually admit weakness but I still feel on the off foot with that one. I know you are an accomplished pianist and I am just a hack singer.

My strengths lie elsewhere Trent, and you know that. I miss the opportunity to show you those strengths. It seems time has not allowed us to be together or even talk lately.

I send you best wishes for your birthday wherever you may be celebrating it.

I miss you Trent.

Happy Birthday,

Kevin

Happy Birthday Sweetpea!

Go look in your room, hidden amongst the sprays of said flowers are some special treats.

Love,

Kevin

[Private Post]

Posted after this interaction

I will attest the lack of wisdom of these responses from Trent to that fucked up mental state everyone goes on about...and drugs.

I know he does them and no doubt that fucked up Jeordie person and the rest of his black clothes obsessed cohorts have been indulging him with any number of chemical substances.

It has to be that for him to respond to me like that.

But when he sees the light and realises what he has said to Spacey I won't forgive him...I will make him suffer!

Off to have a calming drink... and consider how I will make him suffer!

Written after three 'calming' drinks...

Fuck it! If I hadn't waited for a year to get my collar around that scrawny fucking neck of his (which looks so fucking good with leather or rope or any other fucking restraint around it) I'd tell him to...

But fuck it I can't! I still fucking want him.

[Private post]

I don’t understand women at all. Ash has been moody as all hell. When we sit and have a meal together or watch television on the couch she sits and watches me as if I should be saying something. When I ask her “What?” she huffs “Nothing” and leaves to go to her room.
Bloody hormones!

Things have been different since that last night we fucked on the couch. I don’t want to think or talk about that because when I do I realise she told me what to do…and got away with it. And no one tells me what to do!

Added to all that no reply from Trent. I thought I had made it clear I was unhappy with his attitude. That boy has a few things to learn about dealing with Spacey! I’d tell him to go fuck himself and forget about it but I want him so badly…have done for over a year. When I mention that to Ash she just goes quiet and says nothing.

Why don’t people just do what you want?

I just read a report that cell phones were going off in Hedda Gabler. What the fuck is wrong with people?

This has happened to me when I've been on stage. I'd love it if I could go interrupt them when they least appreciate it...pop my head in the door when they're fucking their wife or join them in the john when they're taking a crap.

Some people have no fucking idea of art or what is appropriate.

[Locked to Trent]

And I have had no reply to my email.

Care to elaborate?

Written after contemplating this

To: reznor@xxxx.xxx

From: kspacey@xxxx.xxx

Subject: Woodstock

Trent,

It has been far too long since we have had contact.

I watched the Woodstock gig the other night. It was a satisfactory replacement for the real thing…for the moment.

As I watched you hurt yourself so many times on that stage it made me think though.

It is time for me to be providing all that you need on a permanent basis.

[Cross posted to ashley_j]

Spacey put his keys on the hallstand and smiled. There was a DVD shaped package the housekeeper had placed with his other mail. He took his jacket off, hung it on the coat rack, and hurriedly opened the package. The familiar NiN logo was the only design on the package.

He had realised a week ago that ebay could be a source of useful Trent 'material'. Well, some sad fifteen year olds had alerted him to the fact actually. He had been searching on Google for Trent info and had stumbled across a Nine Inch Nails forum. While most of the comments had been angsty drivel about Trent, these pubescent females sure had a grip on finding Trent memorabilia and the current discussion had been on the Woodstock 'gig'. Spacey had barely read the words, Trent is so hot covered in mud, before he had known that he had to have a copy of that! Some thing called 'Blackarts had posted that it was up for sale on ebay so Spacey had rushed over, put an insanely high bid on said DVD, and waited to see if she would be able to outbid that on a McDonalds wage.

( Now the DVD had arrived. )

*Important note from Mun. The Trent Reznor written by widdershin for Establishment is not the bulky muscled Trent in the PETA video. Visually Establishment reznor is based on a circa ‘Downward Spiral’ Trent.*

[Public Post]

I am so proud of my boy to be!

He has narrated an anti-fur video for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I know Trent’s love for animals runs deep and so it would have been personally very difficult for him to voice some of the horrific facts contained in the commentary.

Trent. You have my utmost respect and admiration for what you have done.

If you wish to view the video click here. But be warned it is disturbingly graphic.

I have made a substantial donation to PETA to honour and support what Trent has done. I hope all of you who read this will do the same.

Oh and if you do wear fur fuck off out of my journal and don’t come back!

[Takes place as a result of this task. Warning: Minor blood play]

[Cross posted to reznor's journal]

Trent had propped his cell phone on the pillow before he started. Now, knowing he was getting close he reached up and blindly fumbled with the keypad until he found and hit the send button. One hand moved desperately along his cock while the other returned to scratching a bloody furrow on his chest ... all the while listening for the voice on the other end of the phone.

( "Hello..." )

Follows this interaction

Spacey is just bringing his lips to the scotch glass when an invite to share a video cam appears on the screen. He has never had one of these before, but when he sees it is from Reznor he fumbles with the mouse to press accept.

( Trent's web cam )

Trent's video still

[Private Post]

Well 2005 was a good year. I got back onto the journals and that led me to Trent. From the moment I saw his icon I knew I had to have him. I've waited a long time. He hasn't been as easy as the other boys to get.

But 2006 will be the year Spacey collars him! I can just feel the leather sliding around that neck of his, and hear the metal of the buckle clipping shut. Then he will be mine, and he can pleasure me as much as I demand.

Ian, Jesse Bradford, Diesel and any of the other smart fucks out there can go to hell as I will have Trent by my side...at my feet...anywhere I fucking well damn please!

The latest icon he uses has him kneeling, palms crossed in supplication. Fuck! He is the perfect boy!

His last reply had me so fucking hard...I will try to please you.

Yes you will Trent! Yes you will!

[Private post after reading this]

Fuck! Trent’s at it again, doing the ‘mind fucked’ thing which scares me beyond belief. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone…can hardly admit it to myself, but I don’t know what to do when he’s like that.

When I fucked him in Mercer I thought that simply fucking and eventually scening was all he needed. I thought I could make him right just by being Spacey the Dom.

But I don’t know how to talk to him. How do I reply to a post like that?

Okay regroup Spacey. You were pissed off with him for not replying to your request quickly enough. But obviously he is getting on the tour bus and gearing up to doing what you asked.

trying to figure out how the hell to talk to people in a normal way. I failed miserably with the last one.. He knows he spoke out of turn and hey he was drunk. He seems to get drunk a lot. So just say you’re looking forward to his task reply and leave it be.

I talked to him once. That night in the café in London we talked and laughed. We spoke of being geeks and the smile on his face made me…

You’re getting soft Spacey. You can’t stop thinking about a mentally fucked up alternative muso.

[Private post written after reading this email]

If he weren't drunk I'd tell him to go fuck himself! Impertinent little...

Fuck! Who am I kidding? He has me hook line and fucking sinker. I want him so badly I'm not prepared to tell him to fucking forget it which is what I should say.

The Alpha Dog has been bitten...

Follows this

To: reznor@xxxx.xxx
From: kspacey@xxxx.xxx
Subject: I am waiting!!!

Trent,

I left you a voicemail on November 23 requesting a reply to a task. I have heard nothing since. I expect a prompt answer when I ask something Trent.

Spacey

Trent, Kevin here. I’ve left replying to your email giving me access to your checklist because…well you kept me waiting didn’t you?

I liked what I saw though. I’ve been giving what was there a lot of thought.

I know we have to wait for your tour to end. That is an unavoidable practicality. However, until then I think we need to start organising a contract. So I want you to think about what you feel should be included in it. I have a requirement to start off with. It is to be no shorter than six months duration.

( Some amusement for us both )