Kate Winslet

email to notdom

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 16:20:28 GMT

To: dominic.monaghan@establishment.rpg
From: kate.winslet@establishment.rpg
Subject: Re: Various & Sundry

I realised when I was answering your comment that there are loads of things we haven't really talked about--

There are, of course, but that's all right. I never get the impression from you or Lij that there's anything I can't say to you or that wanting to say no to something is going to have catastrophic results, so I don't mind taking it as it comes.

and yeah, I've been busy but that's no excuse, so I really need to apologise for that.

Oh, Dom. Stop apologising. Please? I mean, I accept your apology, but if we get into a circle of apologies I'm going to be terribly flustered. There'll be much nose-wrinkling. And the like.

I've just come off a stint subbing to Elijah as a lifestyle sort of thing, and I'm afraid I got a bit into the bad habit of assuming he was sorting things.

Ha! Well, I'm picky about some things, but that doesn't mean I need an entire schedule for the weekend. I wouldn't worry about this.

He mentioned last night that we three will probably spend most of our weekend at the Establishment hotel, as Billy's been bunking with us at Lij's place at Echo Park and my flat's not fit for man nor beast.

Oh, yes, I'd heard about that. I don't know what it is about you blokes thinking your flats are so terrifying, especially when a girl comes round, but honestly, you haven't seen the state of my home, or for that matter my hotel suite in New York. (You'd think the cleaning service would be enough to combat the mess. Alas.)

About that stint, you should know if you don't already that I had a sort of a hard time a few weeks ago after a scene, and I'm still on the mend, a bit, inasmuch as I'm looking to go into therapy, if I can find someone who seems likely to do me any good.

Oh, Dom, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're mending well. Let me know if having a Kate squirming on your lap would do anything helpful, as I know just where to find one and just how to fling her.

I want to promise that it wouldn't affect anything with you, but I can't claim to know that for dead cert, so I feel honour-bound to warn you off even though selfishly it's the last thing I want to do.

I've been warned and I'm still coming out. Relax!

Also, about that fantasy I mentioned.

...It's all right, Dom. As long as we're clear that it's a hard limit for me, I'm fine with it.

I mean, when you were here before, you and I were in complete accord about the focus being on masochism with no interest at all in submission, but...

Ha -- I'm sure a good number of people eventually walk down the road where masochism and submission meet. Maybe most of them. Honestly, I'm the odd duck here. And it doesn't bother me. I don't see you and Lij deciding to pound submission into my head, do you?

Now I'm trying hard to own up to the stuff that's in my head, and not be weird and defensive about it,

Good... good... not being weird and defensive is good...

but I feel uneasy enough about the whole nonconsensual thing that I almost wish I hadn't piped up.

Dom, are you breathing? Are you sure? Take a nice whoosh in. Whoosh. All right, now let it out -- Ahhhhh. There now. Your kink's OK. Really. (Don't think too hard about it. You'll sprain something!)

I'm sorry to dump all this on you shortly before you're due to visit, it must be tempting to just cancel the ticket!

It so isn't.

Just know that Elijah and I will be so happy to see you, and no hard feelings whatsoever if you'd rather it were only a friendly visit, or if you'd prefer to scene with just Elijah.

Dom, I'd be more worried about what's comfortable for you here. Do you want to scene with me? Would you feel better if it were only a friendly visit? I'm here to see both of you, and would love to pick up some color on my cheeks from both of you, but I'm not only coming out for sex and spankings.

I can always join Billy on his nightly excursion to a pretentious experimental play if you and Lij want to spend time alone together.

...does that mean I don't get to meet Billy, then?

I'll just be glad, so glad, to see you again.

Ohh. And the same from me, of course.

Til then, take care.

I will. (...landing tomorrow!) And you do the same.

Love and kisses,
Kate

private entry

Wed, 12 Nov 2003 16:59:18 GMT

private

I really am the only one who doesn't get it, aren't I? Even the boys. Sean I expected, but the boys... well.

*sigh*

I trust everyone, I do, really. But it's strange feeling the odd one out at times.

crossposted from a comment to notdom

Sun, 09 Nov 2003 16:27:49 GMT

public

Am crossposting this both in case people who don't read Dom's journal are interested and to archive. Nothing new to see here, ladies and gentlemen, carry on.

All right. I wouldn't play without a safeword, and it's interesting saying that to you, because of my reasonings here. I wouldn't play without one, because I'm not in the habit of offering that sort of trust to my partners.

See what I mean? What a strange thing to say, because I certainly trust you and Elijah. In fact, I probably trust the both of you more than anyone I've scened with, because I care madly for you and I know you both feel the same way. This is not my normal state of affairs. My dom and a half were people who I felt could do what I needed, but there wasn't really any connection apart from the kinky sex there. Going into a situation like that, I would always want a safeword.

What I'm curious about is whether other people remember to safeword during humiliation play. I've heard or seen a lot of people who will say things like use this phrasing but not that phrasing before a scene gets started. I'd rather the top just go at me full tilt and see where it takes us, and if he says something that I know is going to throw me out of headspace, I'll safeword. Safewords don't have to bring a scene to an uncomfortable grinding halt. (Or maybe that's just me. Or maybe in some cases I don't care.) But humiliation is such an odd little realm. While people seem very in touch with their bodies and what their bodies can take, I wonder what they think of safewording for mental or emotional reasons.

I think, if I were putting a finger on my reasons and my thoughts here, I might be tempted to say that the reason I wouldn't give up a safeword for a scene is that, masochist or no, interest in humiliation or no, I don't have any kind of natural bent toward submission in particular. I'll do it to get the rest of the pieces to fall into place, but that's not where my main interests lie.

What's the bloody point?

Thu, 06 Nov 2003 16:56:38 GMT

public to Est members

I'm actually curious whether sexysadie was right, and whether anyone would give a toss if it were a bloke. In this day and age, it seems as though women are not permitted to make any statement that would imply a lack of self esteem... even if her tongue is clearly in her cheek for it. Does that push buttons, I wonder?

I bet it's just that sort of attitude that makes it hard for a girl like me to have the skin flayed off her backside. If a girl's got to pass a psychological battery here at the Est before someone will take a riding crop to her, or before she can kneel as she pleases, or before someone will scratch her behind the ears and give her a saucer of cream, what's the bloody point of having this place at all?

If I wanted someone to ask me what's left when I'm not in armbinders or when the clothespins have been taken off my skin, I could pay a therapist obscene amounts of money for the job. Really, psychological analysis is not why I joined the Establishment, and I bet it's not so for Melanie either.

Hmf.

wedding gifts for CA and Jason

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 05:16:09 GMT

Think of it as something to help you relax when the whirlwind's over!

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] <img>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Think of it as something to help you relax when the whirlwind's over!

<lj-cut>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/campari.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/cardhu.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/chivas.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/cointreau.jpg
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/courvoisier.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/crownroyal.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/curacao.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/jackdaniels.jpg>
<img src=http://shepherd.redirectme.net/RPSHelens/jaegermeister.jpg>

<I>Campari, Cardhu, Chivas, Cointreau, Courvoisier, Crown Royal, Curacao, Jack Daniels, and Jaegermeister <small>in case the images don't work</small>.</I>

And I strongly recommend not mixing them all at once! ;)

public: HAHAHAHA...

Sat, 30 Aug 2003 13:17:54 GMT

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

...ahem.

Well, it's not the first time there have been rumors about me and a married costar. But it is the first time I've been accused of setting someone "straight"...

In all seriousness, though, Bean has a lovely set of teeth.

email: to sean_bean

Thu, 21 Aug 2003 17:46:41 GMT

To: sean.bean@establishment.rpg
From: kate.winslet@establishment.rpg
Subject: Plane tickets!

So we're both going from Los Angeles to Toronto for voice tracks for Pride. Shall we see if we can get seats together, do you think? I'm sure I'd enjoy the company, given what the boys have been saying about you.

...heh.

Madly,
Kate

friends-only: "eek!"

Fri, 08 Aug 2003 17:54:27 GMT

[biehn, c_a_moss, diane_lane, elijah, ewan_mcgregor, jason_isaacs, judel, notdom, spacey]

Remington Steele is in the Establishment? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Oh, God, that whole thread. And he thinks he's witty. Kenneth would eat him for lunch.

public: "affections"

Fri, 08 Aug 2003 16:49:28 GMT

It's official. Los Angeles is a wonderful, wonderful place to visit.

Elijah is as charming as ever. And Dominic! Oh, if the way to a lady's affections is through her stomach, then ah, my affections are clearly won. Chinese food. Farmer's market with fresh berries. Cookies. Icing.

And I brought home a lovely suncatcher:

What a lovely, lovely day. I'm going to enjoy being here.

note to biehn

Thu, 07 Aug 2003 17:40:16 GMT

written in near-calligraphic handwriting, with green ink, on a sheet of white parchment; delivered by Establishment courier

Michael,

The shoes are terrible. I would wear them for you anyway, but I'm afraid I've been rather busy with Elijah and Dominic since arriving in Los Angeles. I have a date today, and won't be able to break away to see you.

Hope Los Angeles is treating you well.

Adoringly, or something to that effect,
Kate

public: "Los Angeles!"

Tue, 05 Aug 2003 00:21:25 GMT

I'm here! I made it! I slept for 24 straight hours after getting off the plane!

Whew.

Well, now. Bo ys, let me know when you'd like a visitor!

Anyone else in L.A. -- let me know if you'd like to do lunch. Or, you know, lunch. Hmm.

I'll be heading back to London for the voice recording for Pride at the end of the month. Until then, any suggestions for how to make the best of a trip to Los Angeles?

private: "..."

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 00:36:05 GMT

It was good. Damn him. It was too good. I don't think I expected it to go that well. After all, he's a friend of Jim's.

Jim never made me feel like that.

I'm definitely off to somewhere. I can't stay here in London.

public: "reactions and thoughts"

Sat, 02 Aug 2003 00:31:05 GMT

Well, well, well. I think the time it took to fill that checklist out might have been worthwhile after all. I'm pleasantly sore in all the right places, and I am very, very impressed. Nicely done, Michael.

And now it's time to think about whether I want to stay in London.

I keep hearing the siren calls of Elwood and his lovely Dom -- err -- boyfriend. I know there are some others heading back to Los Angeles.

What do you think? Los Angeles, maybe?

email to biehn

Fri, 01 Aug 2003 14:22:55 GMT

To: michael.biehn@establishment.rpg
From: kate.winslet@establishment.rpg
Subject: begging

Dear Michael,

Please, Sir, this girl is ready for her second chance.

I imagine you can hear my eyes rolling from here.

Love,
Kate

checklists

Thu, 31 Jul 2003 23:44:50 GMT

[public]

I finished that bloody fucking checklist.

Took me over a week, but it's done. Filed. Finished.

And I hope I never have to do one again. Good grief.

email to biehn

Thu, 31 Jul 2003 21:59:29 GMT

To: michael.biehn@establishment.rpg
From: kate.winslet@establishment.rpg
Subject: bloody goddamned checklist

Dear Michael,

I've finished the bloody goddamned checklist. It took a week. You had better believe I'm serious now. Bastard.

Love,
Kate

                           Experience, Willingness
                             yes/no,    NO or 0-5


Abrasion                         :	no	NO	It doesn't suit.
Age play                         :	no	NO	I prefer to act my age.
Anal sex                         :	yes	2	Warning requested and required.
Anal plugs (small)               :	yes	3
Anal plugs (large)               :	yes	1
Anal plug (public, under clothes):	yes	4	Smaller plugs only.
Animal roles                     :	no	NO	...and I prefer to act human.
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)   :	yes	5	Particularly attractive ones.
Asphyxiation                     :	no	NO	...and I prefer to breathe.
Auctioned for charity            :	no	NO	Auction means "not getting to choose my playmate".  No, no, no.
Bathroom use control             :	yes	0
Beastiality                      :	no	NO	Just no.
Beating (soft)                   :	yes	5
Beating (hard)                   :	yes	5
Blindfolds                       :	yes	0
Being serviced (sexual)          :	yes	3	Perhaps it's just the tops I've been with, but this is never as much fun as they want to believe it is.
Being bitten                     :	yes	5
Breast/chest bondage             :	no	?	I could be persuaded.
Breath control                   :	yes	NO	No.  After Jim, no.
Branding                         :	no	NO	No permanent marks.
Boot worship                     :	no	4	Haven't done it.  Would be interested.
Bondage (light)                  :	yes	5
Bondage (heavy)                  :	yes	4
Bondage (multi-day)              :	yes	NO
Bondage (public, under clothing) :	yes	4
Breast whipping                  :	yes	2	Can be worthwhile with an appropriately precise touch.
Brown showers (scat)             :	no	NO
Cages (locked inside of)         :	yes	3
Caning                           :	yes	4	Preference for fiberglass.
Catheterization                  :	no	NO
Cells/Closets (locked inside of) :	yes	3
Chastity belts                   :	no	NO
Chaueffering                     :	no	3	Hope you like to go fast.
Choking                          :	no	NO	Giving head is one thing; *deliberately being choked* is quite another.
Clothespins                      :	yes	3	Preferably nicely sanded and finished.
Cock worship                     :	yes	2	If this is the first thing out of your mouth, don't expect enthusiasm.
Collars (worn in private)        :	yes	3	Not so much a "3" as "no opinion."
Collars (worn in public)         :	yes	0	In my experience, this is all about gloating.
Competitions (with other Subs)   :	no	0
Corsets (wearing)                :	yes	0	This is something I expect to get paid for (ie, period films).  Cf. "asphyxiation".
Cuffs (leather)                  :	yes	5
Cuffs (metal)                    :	yes	5
Cutting                          :	no	NO
Dilation                         :	no	NO
Double penetration               :	no	0	I would need to approve any additional people in scene; if this is with toys, it's still a zero.
Electricity                      :	no	NO
Enemas                           :	no	NO
Enforced chastity                :	no	NO	This implies a longer-term commitment than I'm looking for.
Examinations (physical)          :	no	NO
Exercise (forced/required)       :	no	NO
Exhibitionism (friends)          :	yes	5
Exhibitionism (strangers)        :	yes	5*	*As long as this isn't career-risking; if it is, it's a hard limit.
Eye contact restrictions         :	yes	3
Face slapping                    :	yes	4
Fantasy abandonment              :	yes	3
Fantasy rape                     :	no	NO
Fantasy gang-rape                :	no	NO
Fisting (anal)                   :	yes	NO
Fisting (vaginal)                :	yes	2
Following orders                 :	yes	4
Foot worship                     :	no	NO/1	Hard limit for male doms.
Forced dressing                  :	yes	2
Forced homosexuality             :	yes	3	I would need to approve any additional people in scene.
Forced masturbation              :	yes	5
Forced nudity (private)          :	yes	5
Forced nudity (around others)    :	yes	5	Again, no career-risking exhibits.
Forced servitude                 :	yes	3
Full head hoods                  :	yes	2	To quote the incomparable Alan Cumming, "must be attractive".
Gags (cloth)                     :	yes	3	High marks for silk.
Gags (rubber)                    :	yes	4
Gags (tape)                      :	yes	0
Genital sex                      :	yes	4
Given away to another Dom (temp) :	yes	NO
Given away to another Dom (perm) :	no	NO
Golden showers                   :	yes	3
Hairbrush spankings              :	yes	3
Hair pulling                     :	yes	5
Hand jobs (giving)               :	yes	5
Hand jobs (receiving)            :	yes	3	So to speak...
Harems (serving w/other subs)    :	yes	2
Harnessing (leather)             :	no	2
Harnessing (rope)                :	no	2
Having food chosen for you       :	yes	3
Having clothing chosen for you   :	yes	0
Head (giving fellatio)           :	yes	3	Again, when this is the first thing out of someone's mouth, it's terribly disappointing...
Head (receiving)                 :	yes	0	Boring.
High heel worship                :	yes	3	Male doms who are willing to wear high heels get high bonus marks.
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)  :	yes	3	"Non-sexual"?
Hot oils (on genitals)           :	yes	4
Hot waxing                       :	yes	4
Housework (doing)                :	no	NO
Human puppy dog                  :	no	NO
Humiliation (private)            :	yes	5
Humiliation (public)             :	yes	5
Hypnotism                        :	no	Yeah, right.
Ice cubes                        :	yes	4
Infantalism                      :	no	NO
Initiation rites                 :	no	?	I'd need to know what the rites are.
Injections                       :	no	NO
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage:	no	4	It's pretty, but I've never done it.
Interrogations                   :	no	0
Kidnapping                       :	no	2
Kneeling                         :	yes	4
Leather clothing                 :	yes	5
Leather restraints               :	yes	4
Lectures for misbehavior         :	yes	5	I might pout.  Be forewarned.
Licking (non-sexual)             :	yes	2	"Non-sexual"?
Manacles & Irons                 :	no	NO	Too heavy.
Manacures (giving)               :	no	3
Massage (giving)                 :	yes	3
Massage (receiving)              :	yes	5
Medical scenes                   :	no	NO
Modeling for erotic photos       :	yes	5	Erotic artwork in general is nice.
Mouth bits                       :	yes	3
Mummification                    :	no	NO
Nipple clamps                    :	yes	5
Nipple weights                   :	yes	4
Oral/anal play (rimming)         :	yes	0
Over-the-knee spanking           :	yes	5
Orgasm denial                    :	yes	2
Orgasm control                   :	yes	2
Outdoor scenes                   :	yes	4
Outdoor sex                      :	yes	4
Phone sex (serving Dom)          :	yes	0
Phone sex (serving Dom's friends):	yes	3
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):	no	NO
Piercing (permanant)             :	no	NO
Prison scenes                    :	no	NO
Pony slave                       :	no	NO
Public exposure                  :	yes	5	To an extent -- paparazzi find had better not find out.
Pussy/cock whipping              :	no	1
Pussy worship                    :	yes	4
Riding crops                     :	yes	5
Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.):	no	0
Rituals                          :	no	2
Religious scenes                 :	no	2
Restrictive rules on behavior    :	yes	0	Again, implies longer-term than I'm interested in.
Rubber/latex clothing            :	yes	4	Especially liquid latex in decorative designs...
Rope body harness                :	no	0
Saran wrapping                   :	no	NO
Scratching - getting             :	yes	5
Scratching - giving              :	yes	3
Sensory deprivation              :	no	NO
Serving                          :	yes	2	Not my primary interest...
Serving as art                   :	yes	4	...although this was surprisingly fun.
Serving as ashtray               :	no	NO
Serving as furniture             :	no	0
Serving as a maid                :	no	NO	I safeword on housework.
Serving as toilet                :	no	NO
Serving as waitress/waiter       :	yes	3
Serving orally (sexual)          :	yes	2
Serving other doms (supervised)  :	yes	2	Still need approval when being shared with others.
Serving other doms (unsupervised):	no	3	Depending on the other Dom...
Sexual deprivation (short term)  :	yes	1
Sexual deprivation (long term)   :	yes	NO	...again with the long-term.
Shaving (body hair)              :	yes	0
Shaving (head hair)              :	no	NO
Sleep deprivation                :	no	NO
Sleepsacks                       :	no	NO
Slutty clothing (private)        :	yes	4
Slutty clothing (public)         :	yes	5
Spanking                         :	yes	5
Spandex clothing                 :	yes	3
Speech restrictions (when, what) :	yes	4
Speculums (Anal)                 :	no	NO
Speculums (vaginal)              :	no	NO
Spreader bars                    :	yes	3
Standing in corner               :	yes	3
Stocks                           :	no	2
Straight jackets                 :	yes	NO	...just no.
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)     :	yes	3
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)  :	yes	4
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)        :	yes	3
Strapping (full body beating)    :	yes	2	...if you have finesse, yes.
Suspension (upright)             :	no	2
Suspension (inverted)            :	no	0
Suspension (horizontal)          :	no	0
Supplying new partners for Dom   :	no	3
Swallowing semen                 :	yes	2
Swallowing urine                 :	yes	3
Swapping (with one other couple) :	no	0	...again, need to approve others.
Swinging (multiple couples)      :	no	0
Tattooing                        :	no	NO
Teasing                          :	yes	2
Tickling                         :	yes	NO
Triple penetration               :	no	0
Uniforms                         :	no	2
Including others                 :	yes	0	Need approval for others first.
Vaginal dildo                    :	yes	4
Verbal humiliation               :	yes	5
Vibrator on genitals             :	yes	5
Voyeurism (watching others)      :	yes	0	Not offensive, just not interesting.
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)    :	yes	0
Video (watching others)          :	yes	0
Video (recordings of you)        :	yes	4	Originals and all copies must be presented to me afterwards, or release forms signed .
Water torture                    :	yes	NO	Titanic itself was one big experience with water torture.  NEVER AGAIN.  Thank you.
Wearing symbolic jewelery        :	no	NO
Whipping                         :	yes	3
Wooden paddles                   :	yes	4
Wrestling                        :	no	0

stupid checklist

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 22:39:05 GMT

[public]

Stupid checklist.

About 100 entries left to go on the bedamned thing. Nearly halfway done.

If my preferences on these things change over the years, I'm going to be very peeved. I am not doing one of these again. Grrr.

bastard

Sat, 26 Jul 2003 16:08:59 GMT

[public]

Bastard. Bastard.

I seem to have a weakness for bastards.

Kenneth. Jim. Now Michael.

I should know better. I really should. And I do. But I go for them anyway.

Kate and Michael: first date

Wed, 23 Jul 2003 22:26:24 GMT

[players only]

Kate and Michael (biehn) meet for lunch, and the tough-as-nails girl gets rattled.

Michael: *sits inside at the cafe, a table facing the door. His black cotton slacks and blue shirt somehow strike a spark in his green eyes and he looks relaxed and casual. Beside him on the table is a single, long stemmed callalilly.*

Kate: *walks into the cafe, wearing a blue dress with dark black patterns on it and knee-high black boots; has gone to a little trouble to look nicely casual. Spots Michael, tilts her head, and walks on over.*

Kate: Michael, lovely to see you again. How are you?

Michael: *rises and takes both her hands* Kate. *smiles a wide, genuine smile* It's great to see you, too. I'm good, good, thanks. You? *holds one of her hands while she settles into her chair*

Kate: *squeezes his hand in a just-more-than-friendly manner* I'm fairly good myself. Finally getting out of my house and meeting people -- *raises an eyebrow a bit to imply the sort of people she means* -- which is nice.

Michael: *chuckles* It can be, if the people are sufferable I suppose. *winks at her and sits down, lifting the lily to his nose briefly before offering it to her; the stem is in a flower stay, ensuring it will stay fresh* For a beautiful lady. *nods exaggeratedly with a playful smile*

Kate: *laughs a bit* You shouldn't have. *takes the flower, sniffs it with an amused, pleased grin* But thank you. What brings you to London?

Michael: Loose ends, mostly. My own. We were still here when we got the word about Adventure, Inc and it seemed a good idea to stay for awhile, get my bearings. Of course, I flew to Canada for Jesse's funeral but I didn't feel like facing LA just now.

Kate: *raises an eyebrow* There's irony for you. I'm hoping to make a trip to LA fairly soon.

Michael: *smiles* I'm sure I'll make it back there before too long. Perhaps we can fly together.

Kate: *mock-slyly* Are you making me an offer, Michael?

Michael: *leering outrageously* Why yes, Ms. Winslet. I'm offering you the other half of my first class row.

Michael: *looks innocent* Why, was there something else you may have had in mind?

Kate: *grins, sits back in her chair, rubs her fingertips over the tablecloth for a few moments before meeting his eyes* It's possible.

Michael: *tilts his head to this side slightly and watches her, his eyes steady on hers, waiting. Feels a slight curl in his belly as he considers marking the smooth, white skin of her slender neck*

Kate: *softly* I think I recognize that look. Tell me I'm wrong.

Michael: *waits*

Kate: *gives a slightly different smile, going into smirk territory* Mm-hm...

Michael: *raises an eyebrow, his eyes becoming slightly cooler; still he waits for her to break eye contact*

Kate: *leans in and lowers her voice a little* You know, I can never quite tell you apart from all the evil, nasty characters you've played. Which is one of the things I've enjoyed about watching you. You look like the sort of man who wouldn't be afraid of hurting a girl. If she's asking for it. Begging for it. *pauses* Tell me I'm wrong about *that*.

Michael: *softly* Ahh, but you see, my girl. I'm in a catch-22. If I tell you that you're wrong then I give you what you want... because it would hurt if I said you are mistaken. But if I tell you that you're not *leans forward, his arms on the table, still watching her intently* then you also get a bit of what you want. Clever girl.

Kate: Well, there are those who don't care for it when their girls are too clever. One has to be careful. *still isn't willing to break eye contact*

Michael: *smiles a slow, predatory smile before sitting back* But, since I don't care to play games at the moment, I'll just say no, you aren't wrong.

Michael: And I enjoy clever girls. They're much more interesting than the simpering ones.

Kate: *raises an eyebrow* Mm. Good for you. I don't generally care to simper. *sitting back and relaxing a bit* Now, maybe we should talk about you. What you want. What you like. What you'd have to offer.

Michael: *smirks* Perhaps we should first talk about you and what you believe you can take.

Kate: *her eyes flash just a little at the smirk* Well. I'm not going to get into a bloody pissing contest with you over whether I can take more than you can give me. I like pain, and I take it rather well. I have limits, but I know how to safeword. I'm not fragile. I like bruises. I don't care to bleed.

Michael: *chuckles* Temper, temper *wags his finger a bit* Just out of curiosity, what is your safeword?

Kate: "Rabbit." *he's starting to rankle her, and she's clearly starting to huff a bit; her nose wrinkles and her lips press together just a touch, but she's not breaking eye contact and not backing down, either*

Michael: Rabbit. *grins* as in "scared as a"? Hmm... interesting. It's clear you're looking for a top and *not* a dom. That's good, 'cause I really have no intention of becoming that involved. As for what I like? I love pissing off smart-assed women begging to be hurt, then giving them what they want. I'm proficient with most hurting objects and I have a favorite cane just begging to wipe that superior look off your face. Do you want a psychological rush or simply an endorphin high?

Kate: *blinks a few times, a little rattled by that, and enjoying the sensation* You're... very observant. More than I took you for. I do this for the endorphin high, primarily. *huffs out a little sigh* The psychological rush would be nice. Not necessary. But nice.

Michael: *nods, pursing his lips a bit* Humiliation?

Kate: Oh, yes. *under her breath* I wouldn't have gotten very far with Jim if I didn't like humiliation...

Michael: *chuckles* Good point. *finally picks up the menu, perusing it briefly before putting it down* And your limits?

Kate: Oh, God, the checklist. *shaking head* The short list. I don't bleed, I don't do scat, I don't do any kind of nonconsensual roleplay. I don't care for blindfolds. *raising an eyebrow a bit* I don't scene on a first date.

Michael: *raises his back at her* I wasn't asking.

Michael: Are blindfolds a limit or a low number?

Kate: *sniffs a little and sits up straighter, looking at her menu* *mutters* Wasn't asking... *raising her voice* A very low number.

Michael: *chuckles again and pushes her menu down to get her attention* No, girl... I wasn't asking.

Kate: I'm trying to decide whether I like the duality between your calling me "girl" and your playing hard-to-get. *wrinkles her nose a bit* I think I do. It's irritating. But I find I like being irritated.

Michael: *chuckling* I'm not playing hard to get at all. The decision has been made that we're going to play together *his eyes dare her to deny it, his heart thumping a little harder as he realizes how much he's looking forward to it* I simply have an appointment this afternoon. I won't have enough time to properly string you up and make you scream.

Kate: *softly* All right. *raising an eyebrow* Sir.

Michael: *snorts*

Kate: *grinning* Not very convincing, am I?

Michael: Not at all. I just like calling you girl because it brings that pretty little blood rush of irritation to your face.

Kate: Ahh. Careful, Michael; you don't want to play all your cards this soon, do you? Maybe I won't let it irritate me in the future. And then you won't be able to watch me blush. And then what's your next move? Hm?

Michael: *laughs again* Kate, honey, I'll always be able to make you blush. Your face reflects your feelings like a mirror reflecting sunlight.

Kate: So I've been told. My only concern is whether you'll actually pay that any mind. *shrugging a bit* Or enough mind to get me where I need to go.

Michael: And where do you need to go?

Kate: *does close her eyes, finally, drawing in a breath before opening them again* I need to bruise. Tremble. Scream. There's an edge, a level -- a place -- something that doesn't happen without the right kind of pain. I don't know. God. These questions.

Michael: *quietly, with understanding* I know the place, Kate...and I will take you there. Before our next meeting, you might want to think about why you want to go. And how long you want to think about it afterward. Is your checklist on file?

Kate: *still looking a little startled, a little rattled, but definitely intent on seeing where this leads* All right. No, it isn't, but it will be. I'll get it to you before we decide what, exactly, we're looking to accomplish. *raising an eyebrow* Fair enough?

Michael: *smiles* Fair enough. Bitch. *the smile turns into a grin and he finds himself eager to see her reaction when the word sets in*

Kate: *actually grins at that, a nice broad grin, as she settles back in her chair* Oh, nicely done. Nice and sharp. How does that word taste, Michael?

Michael: *chuckles* Oh it always tastes excellent my dear. More so when the bitch in question is on her knees crawling across the floor in nothing but high heels and pearls. Especially when she just *hates* to wear either one.

Kate: *snorts* I do dislike high heels. I don't have a problem with pearls, though.

Michael: Your schedule for Friday? *sits back to allow the server to deliver their meals*

Kate: I'm free on Friday. Afternoon through evening.

Michael: Good. I'll meet you at the hotel at 1:00pm. Go to the desk, there'll be a key there for you.

Kate: *nodding* Any special requests? Anything I need to bring with me?

Michael: Just yourself, your checklist and anything you prefer for aftercare in the way of lotions or potions. *grins*

Michael: You said that you need "the right kind of pain". I want you to think, seriously, about how to describe that kind of pain accurately before we meet again.

Kate: *exhales slowly* I'll do that.

Michael: *looks at her intently, dropping his voice a level* Good girl. Eat your lunch.

Kate: *immediately frowning again at the tone, but doesn't hesitate; stabs at a leaf with a precise, untroubled motion, not taking any irritation out on her food*

Michael: *chuckles and digs into his own lunch, glancing through his eyelashes and trying not to laugh out loud*

lunch with Diane Lane

Tue, 22 Jul 2003 21:05:45 GMT

[players only]

In which Kate and Diane talk about girlishness, boys, and briefly touch on unfortunate choices...

Kate is sitting at a table outside a little cafe well away from Establishment spaces, waiting for Diane. She's sipping at a glass of iced tea with lemon, not really fidgeting yet. She's in a dark violet sundress with a pale grey cardigan tossed over it and is wearing ankle-high black leather boots. She glances around from time to time, but doesn't check her watch.

Diane strolls down the sidewalk, looking for the cafe they agreed to meet at. If it hadn't been for Colin kicking her butt out the door - to talk to George she presumes - she'd still be in her chair. Her hair is in a ponytail and she's wearing knee high riding boots, a low waisted denim skirt and a tight black sweater. She spots Kate sitting at the table and puts the movie star smile in place.

Diane: *calls out* Kate?

Kate: *looks up and grins, waving* Diane!

Kate: *stands up, still grinning* Lovely to see you again.

Diane: *extends her hand, warmly* You too. Thanks for the call. *pulls a chair out*

Kate: *sits back down, scoots close to the table* Thank you for joining me. I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to talk to you more at the party. It's a little easier for me to meet people one on one anyway, I suppose. *waves over to a waiter* Something to drink...?

Diane: *sits down, stowing her handbag under the table* Oh the party was...*makes a sound of exasperation* nuts to put it mildly. This is much more civilized. *to the waiter* Mineral water and lime.

Kate: *wincing a bit* I heard something to that effect. Well, at any rate, how are you today?

Diane: Cranky but getting over it. *winks* How about you?

Kate: Shy but getting over it. *smiles* *twitches a little* How do you feel about smoking?

Diane: For me or for you? *laughs* Go right ahead.

Kate: Thanks... *takes a silver cigarette case out of her bag, tugs an ashtray close to her hand, lights up* I always prefer to ask. It doesn't bother me if someone says no. But it's a good anti-twitchy shyness sort of habit. *grins a bit sheepishly*

Diane: Something to do with your hands. *she nods, picks up the small menu.* It's why I drink Scotch.

Kate: All the good nervous habits are really quite bad for you, aren't they? *glances down at the menu herself, but only briefly* It's very strange meeting people through something like the Establishment. I keep wondering whether to talk about kink, or films, or shopping... *grins* Lovely boots, by the way.

Diane: *leans to one side and models are boots* Well, these could cover kink and shopping. That just leaves film. *grins* And thanks. I have sort of a...shoe thing.

Kate: Isn't that universal for all women, though? I mean, I only have a girly side sometimes, and still I adore boots.

Diane: *tucks her legs under the table, ponders* I'd say I'm a girly girl with excessive male energy. Which means pink is my favorite color and I can also kick boy's asses at paintball. *the waiter puts her drink down* Thank you. *to Kate* Ready to order?

Kate: *grinning, delighted at the description* Yes, definitely. *orders a giant salad of death with extra dressing on the side*

Kate: That's a great way to go. I've never gone paintballing, myself, but it sounds fun.

Diane: I'll have the same, no dressing. Oh and lots of bread. *to Kate* It's marvelous. All that skulking and shooting and boy's whining.

Kate: *eyes lighting up* Oh oh oh. Marvelous. *pouting a little* I never get cast in roles where I get to skulk. Or if I do, I have to wear a corset while I'm skulking.

Diane: Aside from playing a junkie in Glass House, I'm usually the damp eyed girlfriend, yearning and pining and *waves her hand* stuff.

Kate: Eek, pining. I'm very good at pining. *laughs* Not so much in real life, thankfully.

Diane: *shrugs, smiles* I can pine with the best of them. *smiles* We should do a buddy movie...something with cute boys and fast cars. NO pining.

Kate: Ohhh, that would be just marvelous. One of those girl-buddy-car chase movies that never does well at the box office!

Diane: *laughs* Exactly. My agent will be delighted. *leans back in her chair* Are you filming anything now?

Kate: Not until late fall. I have a movie called "Romance and--" *gestures* "--Cigarettes", with James Gandolfini and Susan Sarandon and Steve Buscemi. Oh, and I have to record my voice track for "Pride".

Diane: Oh, an animated film?

Kate: Yes, sort of-mostly. It's about lions, and it's supposed to be semi-live-action. Like "Babe," if you ever saw that?

Diane: Babe? Yes, I've seen it. About forty times. *laughs* My daugher had a facination with it for about a month.

Kate: *laughing* Oh, my! I hope you didn't get too awfully tired of it. I'd say "isn't it something how kids end up fascinated with particular movies for a month?", and then I look back and remember when I watched certain movies several times a week for months on end... *sighs, grinning*

Diane: *smiles* You get to the point where you can recite the whole movie by heart. Good training for acting I supposed.

Kate: It is, it is. A lot of things are good training for acting. *gets an odd look on her face for a moment and then shakes it off quickly*

Diane: *bites her lip a bit, starts to say something but is interupted by the arrival of the food. She waits until their plates are put down and the waiter leaves before smiling at Kate* Have you been in the business long?

Kate: *softly* We're still talking about acting? A little over a decade.

Diane: *smiles kindly* We don't have to talk about acting...

Kate: Well. The rest of it, not that long. About seven years or so. Long enough to be comfortable with it, not long enough to have ever had contacts.

Diane: *thoughtful, puts her napkin in her lap* I've been on and off for almost twenty years. And with zero contacts really until recently realizing how many friends I had who were...involved. *grins*

Kate: *sits bolt upright and bangs her fist lightly on the table, which turns out to be, overall, a very girly display* I am in the same boat. Precisely the same boat. And did you know I had to ask Kevin Spacey to be my sponsor? Kevin Spacey! Where if I'd known that many of my other friends were here already... oh, the horror, the horror. *shaking head theatrically*

Diane: *snickers* I haven't had the pleasure. And now suddenly, I'm glad. *shakes her head, digging into the breadbasket on the table* No kidding - membership list? Ex-boyfriend, at least ten co-stars and close friends. It was like reading my holiday card list.

Kate: Aaa! Oh, if any of my exes showed up here, I think I'd simply pass out from embarrassment. *grins*

Diane: *shrugs, waves a roll about* Eh, I think at this point I've lost my ability to be shocked. And I've only been here a few months!

Kate: Oh, I hope I never lose my ability to be shocked altogether. *grins hugely* There's something rather fun about it. I like the unexpected. *raises her iced tea glass in a mock salute*

Diane: *toasts Kate's glass with her roll* Oh then you're going to love it around here. Next time they throw an Island weekend? Plan on attending...

Kate: *pouts* I was so disenchanted about having joined just after the Island weekend. Next time I'll be there for certain.

Diane: It's a bit...overwhelming at first. But if you have someone to stick close to, you'll certainly be uh...surprised with the unexpected. *laughs, blushes a little*

Kate: *grins at the blush* Should I ask?

Diane: *takes a sip of her water then grins* If I have to tell stories then so do you.

Diane: *winks*

Kate: Ha! All right. I'm in. *laughing*

Diane: *picks up her fork, plays with her salad a bit* Um...let's see. Long story short - Me dressed as Tinkerbell, Colin Farrell in a Marine uniform and I can't find my underwear. *dryly* Your turn.

Kate: *quirks a grin* The drawing scene in Titanic, only with me in full glove arm binders and a gag, and Jim instead of Leo drawing.

Diane: *around a mouthful of lettuce* Niiice. Did you use it as your Christmas card that year?

Kate: Well, I would have, had I known about the overlap in holiday card lists and the Establishment. *winks*

Diane: *suddenly snickers* Happily holidays, Thanks for threeway. Best wishes for the New Year, Diane.

Kate: Ooh, lovely, lovely. *grins*

Diane: *pushes her salad around a bit, goes back to the bread - easier on her stomach* So have you gotten to the bar at all? Mingled a bit?

Kate: Just once. I met up with Carrie-Anne Moss and Ewan McGregor. Ewan I knew from an awards event. The bar... loud scenes... it's different if I'm performing, I can manage that, but around large groups of people I seem to go quiet.

Diane: *nods* What are you looking for? I'm not sure I know the right people but maybe I can make an introduction or something...

Kate: Looking for, looking for... hmm. Well, I'm looking for someone who is very good at dealing out pain. *raising an eyebrow, lowering her voice a little* I'm a masochist, and I'm a very picky one. Tough as nails, but very picky.

Diane: *nods, thinks for a moment then smiles* I think we run in slightly different circles then but I have someone I can ask. If that's all right?

Kate: Oh, don't feel obligated -- I'd love any help, but I'm not in a rush. *smiling* But yes, if there's someone you'd feel comfortable asking, please, by all means.

Diane: I'll see what I can find out, at least give you some suggestions. Then you can approach on your own time. *smiles* I know how tough it can be when you're new here.

Kate: *letting out a little sigh* Thank you. I appreciate it.

Diane: No problem. *grins* Est. needs a welcome wagon.

Kate: *laughing* I think Carrie-Anne said something to me about *her* being the welcome-wagon. Actually, I have a second date with her once she gets back in town.

Diane: I've only met her and Jason briefly, at the bar. *toys with her salad again, almost giving up on eating* They seemed quite nice. Very excited about the wedding.

Kate: *notices Diane trying to stab at her salad, suddenly remembers her own and munches thoughtfully on it for a while before continuing* I didn't get to meet him. She did mention him, though. I can't imagine. I very much enjoy being single.

Diane: *pushes her uneaten salad aside and pulls the bread basket a little closer* I'm single for the first time in...*shakes her head* twenty, twenty two years. It's...odd.

Kate: Oh, heavens, I can imagine. Are you happy, though? That's the important thing, really.

Diane: *laughs lightly to herself, takes a sip of her water* Yes, it is important. *looks around for waiter* Do you live here in London full time? Do you ever get to Los Angeles?

Kate: *notices the sidestep, but doesn't comment* I live here in London full-time, yes, but I like Los Angeles very much. And I had a friend invite me to visit recently, so if he can untangle himself from his new boyfriend enough to tell me that the offer still stands, I'll probably visit.

Diane: Ah, new love. Quite distracting. *the waiter arrives and orders a glass of house wine* Anything else for you?

Kate: *ponders* I might have some dessert. Split something?

Diane: Sounds lovely. Whatever you'd like.

Kate: Mmm, the marble cheesecake, I think, two forks, whipped cream on the side, please?

Diane: *smiles as the waiter leaves* Good choice. *leans back in her chair and stretches* I seriously may never work again. Laziness seems to have infected my bones.

Kate: Ohh... I've had summers like that. *smiles* I've been glad to have some time off lately.

Diane: Another new experience for me. *grins* It's been the summer of self-discovery. I feel like a kinky Lifetime Movie of the Week.

Kate: There must be a cable channel for that in the States somewhere. I wonder who gets those jobs. I wonder if I'd have to screen-test...

Diane: *dryly* That would be an interesting reel for submission. *thinks about what she said and snickers*

Kate: *laughs* This place, I swear. There are more puns here than I can keep up with now.

Diane: I have great fears of inappropriate laughter at the next PTA auction at my daughter's school...*the waiter puts down dessert and Diane's wine* Oh, yeah.

Kate: *adds whipped cream to her fork first and then takes a bite of cheesecake* *hums with pleasure*

Diane: *drinks half her glass of wine and sighs with happiness*

Kate: Mmmm. Oh, it's good to be one of the actresses who can indulge in cheesecake. Imagine allowing a diet regime to take this away from you... *loads a fork with whipped cream and cheesecake for Diane and offers her a bite*

Diane: *smiles and leans forward to take the offering* Mmmm...*swallows and licks her lips* God, I'm so glad I never got hooked into that perfect body crap.

Kate: *sincerely, no ulterior motives* You have a perfectly wonderful body.

Diane: *smiles* Thank you. I honestly don't obsess about it. Studio notes about wrinkles, extra pounds and saggy boobs are used to wipe the chocolate crumbs off my chin.

Kate: *laughing* Excellent. Definitely. *rests the plate within Diane's reach and pushes the cheesecake more to the middle of the table* I've found it's easier to get work if you fit the bloody wardrobe, but I think those days are done now. I've had enough of it.

Diane: *picks up a fork* Good for you. This business is a mindfuck without throwing in a studio exec telling you your hips shouldn't look like that. *rolls her eyes*

Kate: *taking another bite of cheesecake and holding back a snarky comment about Jim, on the grounds that really, it's probably best to stay quiet on the topic* Mmm.

Diane: That's a loaded Mmmm if I ever heard one.

Kate: Well, I have unfortunate experience with studio execs telling me all sorts of unpleasant things about my hips. Well, not so much studio execs as bastard directors. *pauses* Well, just the one.

Diane: Which one?

Kate: Jim. James Cameron. Also an on-and-off scene partner. Nowadays off.

Diane: Sounds like a prize. *takes a bite of the cheesecake* That must've been a bitch of a shoot.

Kate: God. For a variety of reasons, yes. *sighs* I think most people who work with James Cameron and water try never to let that happen again.

Diane: I'll make a note of that. *shudders*

Kate: *softly* But he knows what he's doing, for the most part. He might be a bastard, but the results are excellent. Just a matter of whether it's worth the effort it takes to get there. It was for me.

Diane: *licks her fork* Are we talking movies or...*her voice trails off*

Kate: ...Yes.

Diane: *nods* Were they going on simultaneously? The movie and the rest of it?

Kate: Mm, yes. And then after, although it took me a few months to grow desperate enough to call him.

Diane: *raises her eyebrows* Was he worth it?

Kate: *exhaling through her teeth* Yes, but I'd rather not have to repeat it. And really, when it comes down to it, that's why I joined the Establishment. Surely to God there's someone here who can give me what I need without being a complete and utter bastard besides.

Diane: *nods, drinks down the rest of her wine. Speaks carefully* It can be a bit dangerous to navigate this world for women like us Kate. You depend on another person so much in a scene..choosing wrong... *her voice tails off a bit*

Kate: *reaching out for Diane's hand* *very softly* Are you all right?

Diane: *blinks then rolls her eyes* Oh lord, I'm sorry. Lack of sleep, red wine - maudlin Diane. Pay me no mind. *smiles*

Kate: Well, I... I mean, we're only just meeting, but really. If you do want to talk about it, or if there's someone in particular I should steer clear of here...

Diane: *shakes her head* No Kate, please. I have this horrible habit of worrying too much on things when I should be enjoying a new friend instead. *picks up her fork and eats some of the whipped cream* Honestly, any topic is fine.

Kate: *takes a bite of the whipped cream herself* Hmm. Well, we're running out of cheesecake, I'm sorry to say. How about the topic of location? I assume you're not a London local?

Diane: *plays with her fork, thinking she's going to need her ulcer medication soon* Los Angeles by way of New York City. I'm just here on an extended vacation with my motley crew of friends.

Kate: I'll have to visit you when I make my way out to your coast, then. *smiles*

Diane: *smiles back* I'd like that. We can do girly things like shop then I'll take you out for paintball with my other motley crew of friends.

Kate: *laughing* Lovely. I'd adore that.

Diane: Good, good. It'll be a relief after running with the packs of boys all the time. *laughs*

Kate: *nodding* Because packs of boys are fun, but occasionally they get to be too much...

Diane: *grins* That's a polite way of putting it.

Diane: I feel like I need a stun gun sometimes.

Kate: *grinning but deadpan* Customized. Painted lilac.

Diane: *laughs* Oh yes! With my name on the side in flowery script.

Kate: Perfect!

Diane: I'm telling Colin I want that for Christmas.

Kate: *filing the idea away in her nefarious plans mental-file* Mm-hm... *grinning*

Diane: Oh my, more loaded "mmm's." *winks*

Kate: You might just have to get used to that from me....

Diane: *fake serious* I'll be on my guard.

Kate: *sits back, having thoroughly demolished the cheesecake* It's wonderful having gotten to talk to you, Diane. I'm very glad you wanted to join me for lunch.

Diane: I'm glad you called. I needed to get out of the room. And this was lovely.

Kate: It was, yes. Thank you.

Diane: Give me a call when you know about your LA visit? We'll cook something up.

Kate: Absolutely. And any inquiries you want to make on my behalf, you're welcome to and I'd appreciate it, but... as I said... no rush.

Diane: *smiles* I'll speak to my friend and drop you a line.

Diane: *checks her watch discretely* What are your plans for the rest of the day?

Kate: No plans, really. Head home, I imagine. Talk to my agent again.

Diane: I need to go upstairs and have a fight with Colin. We scheduled it for three. *winks and grins*

Kate: Oh, well, I'd best let you get to it, hadn't I? *isn't quite sure whether to laugh or not*

Diane: Oh I'm going to saunter back, make him sweat. He already knows he's going to lose. *laughs*

Kate: Mm. Have a lovely afternoon, Diane.

Diane: I'll grab the check on my way out, alright? *gets her bag and extends her hand* Kate, an absolute pleasure.

Kate: *takes Diane's hand warmly* Any time, Diane.

Diane: *stands up, gives Kate's hand a squeeze and lets go* I'll speak to you soon. *waves*

an open call

Mon, 21 Jul 2003 20:58:08 GMT

[public]

Hugh, Diane, Reese, Kristin, Colin, and all the other lovely people I met at Hugh's party last night -- I'd love to meet any of you for lunch, or shopping, or general amusement -- drop me a line and we'll arrange something!

Sorry about the abrupt exit last night; work called. Thank you so much for letting me join you, though; it was brilliant meeting you all!

sigh

Mon, 21 Jul 2003 20:52:21 GMT

[private]

I am never going to get anywhere if I can't stay still for five minutes. And I can't believe I rushed out of Hugh's party to take a bloody phone call from my agent -- well, no, of course I can, but couldn't she have offered something more than a new revival of The Winter's Tale? Please, please, please.

*sigh*

I will, eventually, get out of my shell. I have to, or I'm never going to find what I'm looking for.

delivery: to elijah

Wed, 09 Jul 2003 13:36:47 GMT

For Elijah and Dominic:

Sending the two of you a little something that might give you some ideas. I can never make head nor tail of these things, but I figure if you two are going at it like mad weasels until your eyes cross, that might actually be an advantage.

Love, etc.,
Kate

enclosed: one copy of The Kama Sutra in 3d, Magic Eye Edition

checklists

Thu, 03 Jul 2003 00:31:58 GMT

[public]

My god. I thought I was bloody particular, but this checklist I got as part of my membership package? That's particular on levels I never even imagined. I've never even heard of some of these things, and what on God's green earth are injections doing on the list?! Speculums?! I'm not judging, here; I just don't see the appeal at all.

*head in hands* I wanted it more precise. I just didn't know what I was getting in for, I suppose.

Help...

SWF, 27, seeks...

Mon, 30 Jun 2003 23:22:03 GMT

[public]

My application was approved. Welcome to the Establishment, Kate.

Nervous, but thrilled. Hello, world. I'm Kate. 27, masochist, bi. Particular. Tough as nails.

I feel like I'm writing a personal ad. Sigh.