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  <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia</id>
  <title>Kereia's Journal</title>
  <subtitle>kereia</subtitle>
  <author>
    <name>kereia</name>
  </author>
  <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/"/>
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  <updated>2007-08-29T04:37:02Z</updated>
  <lj:journal username="kereia" type="personal"/>
  <link rel="service.feed" type="application/x.atom+xml" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/data/atom" title="Kereia's Journal"/>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:2214</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/2214.html"/>
    <title>Fic: Do You Want To Be My Superman? - (Gabriel/OFC) - NC-17</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:37:02Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:37:02Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt; Do you Want To Be My Superman?&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author:&lt;/b&gt; &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='kereia' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;kereia&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Rating:&lt;/b&gt; NC-17&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Characters/Pairings:&lt;/b&gt; Gabriel Gray/anonymous OFC&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Summary:&lt;/b&gt; She hadn’t meant to kiss him. She'd only come here to pick up a pocket watch.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Word Count:&lt;/b&gt; 1765&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Warnings: &lt;/b&gt;Pre-Series, PWP &lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spoilers:&lt;/b&gt; Up to 01x10 “&lt;i&gt;Six Months Earlier&lt;/i&gt;”&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;i&gt;Heroes &lt;/i&gt;belongs to Tim Kring and NBC. I’m just borrowing.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Prompt:&lt;/b&gt; #3 “&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html"&gt;&lt;i&gt;Dream&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;” &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='heroes50' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=heroes50'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=heroes50'&gt;&lt;b&gt;heroes50&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author’s Note:&lt;/b&gt;
I blame this in its entirety on not enough sleep and too much caffein
and sugar. I did leave the OFC vague enough for you to substitute
whoever you want, though.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A whole basket of virtual chocolate cookies to my beta &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='drunken_hedghog' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;b&gt;drunken_hedghog&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;, who trudged through this for me, even though second person fic isn’t her cup of tea. Thank you!&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;b&gt;Do You Want To Be My Superman?&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You
stand in front of the mirror and catch yourself checking your make-up
for the hundredth time, smoothing down your top and scrutinizing your
hair, which is when you realize that you are actually nervous.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A
part of you is annoyed by that, because you’re only picking up a god
damn pocket watch for your grandfather’s birthday. This isn’t some
grand event, which needs preparation or a lot of attention to detail.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;An
hour later you enter Gray &amp;amp; Sons, bells tinkling as the door bangs
into them and the claustrophobic atmosphere of the shop only adds to
your anxiety.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The blinds along the front windows are
half-closed, cutting off most of the brutal August sun. You can see
dust particles dancing inside orange sunbeams, stirred by the
circulation from the air condition. Despite that, the heat is stifling,
and sweat is already collecting on your brow and in the hollow of your
throat.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Your eyes fall upon the lanky figure of Mr. Gray,
hunched over his magnifying glass, and you marvel how that man can bear
to wear a vest above his shirt, while sitting inside this furnace
without showing any visible discomfort.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He looks up, polite
curiosity in his gaze, and you manage a wobbly smile, stammer a
greeting and suppress the urge to extend your hand to him, because your
palms are already damp and you’ve only been here for thirty seconds.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You
explain to him that you are here to pick up the watch you commissioned
and he makes a show trying to remember, and for a second you feel
crushed, stomach free-falling to your knees and cold replacing the heat
on your skin. And you think that it isn’t fair for him to haunt your
dreams since the last time you’ve been here, while you apparently
failed to make any impression whatsoever. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;But then he gets up,
walks over to the colossal assembly of drawers against the back wall,
opens one of them to retrieve your watch, and all the while he recounts
every detail you specified. And when he turns back towards you there is
the barest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and you
realize that he was teasing you.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;In response, a huge, completely
disproportionate smile brakes onto your face and he quickly averts his
eyes, leaving you confused as to whether he is just shy or you’ve
completely misinterpreted the signals here.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And then you wonder
what he was talking about five seconds ago, because judging from the
look on his face it was kind of important and you’re making an idiot
out of yourself, staring at those full, soft lips and wondering how
they would feel against your skin.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Demurely, you pay for the
watch, reminding yourself that this is just another business
transaction, the kind you handle every day; so there really isn’t any
reason for your heart to drum away so wildly in your chest that you are
sure he can hear it.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He offers the watch to you and as you pick
it up your hands touch and as if that was an unspoken signal your eyes
meet. Almost instantly his gaze drops away from yours again, but this
time you’re sure. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He likes you.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You take in his
appearance, the dark, severely combed hair that’s begging to be
tousled, the glasses, the layers of clothes; he looks really cute in
that nerdy-Clark-Kent way, which leads you to contemplate if ‘Do you
want to be my superman?’ would be too cheesy as a pick-up line, but you
already know that you’d never be able to say those words out loud
anyway. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He smiles hesitantly, probably wondering why you’re
still standing there as if nailed to the floor; and because you never
do anything half-way, you might as well make a complete fool of
yourself before you lose your nerve.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;So you kiss him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
body freezes in surprise and the voice of reason in the back of your
mind finally makes itself heard. Only it’s, as usual, two minutes too
late, which doesn’t deter it from pointing out, that if a complete
stranger kissed you out of the blue, he would have earned himself a
slap in the face. If you were in a charitable mood.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You are
about to pull back, embarrassment heating your face, when his body
suddenly leans into yours and his hands are in your hair, fingertips
pressing tightly against your skull.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His mouth is warm and soft
as it urgently moves against yours, his tongue brushing with velvet
wetness against your opened lips, before snaking in between to explore
the cavern beyond.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He tastes of summer rain and breath mints.
Breath mints for heaven’s sake! The taste of which has no business to
make your knees weak. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Your fingers claw into the fabric of his
shirt, as your tongues slide against each other, and there is a rawness
to this kiss which makes you light-headed. His hands start to wander,
briefly framing your neck, thumbs whispering against the hollow in your
throat, before they descend to your shoulders and along your upper
arms, his fingertips barely brushing against the side of your breasts. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;In
the meantime your hands are not idle either and unbutton his vest, as
his mouth leaves yours to fasten on the sensitive flesh behind your
ear, his teeth scraping teasingly against your skin, eliciting your
whimpered encouragement.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You divest him of his shirt, exposing
pale skin, dark, curly hair dusting his pectorals, which invite you to
scrape your fingernails across it. He growls low in his throat, as your
nails catch on his hardened nipples. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Then he grabs you around
the waist and hauls you onto the workbench. One hand presses against
your back as he insinuates his hips between your thighs, while the
other runs up the sweat-slicked skin of your leg, pushing up the edge
of your skirt. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It’s at this point that you really can’t believe that ‘reserved’ was term you ever applied to him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
voice in your head adopts a slightly hysterical note as it points out
that you are about have sex with someone whose first name you don’t
even know, in the middle of a store that is open to the public.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Then
his lips wander down your neck to your throat, and you stop listening.
You can’t even feel any surprise that the possibility of a customer
walking in on you excites, rather than terrifies.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His mouth
continues its descending path towards your cleavage and you arch your
back as his hand pushes underneath your top to unfasten your bra. As
his tongue snakes out between his lips to collect the salty moisture
collecting between your breasts, he quickly pulls your garments off
your upper body, leaving your skin only long enough to allow the
fabric’s passage.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His mouth teases you, trailing between your
soft mounds to your navel, pushing you further down onto the paper
strewn wood. Your fingernails dig into his shoulders, the muscles lean,
but firm beneath your touch. When his tongue dips into your navel, his
hands find their way underneath your skirt again, traveling to the
waistbands before his left hand suddenly twists, slips beneath your
panties and into the soaking heat beyond. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He pushes first one,
then two fingers inside of you, and that’s enough to make you cry out.
Heat rushes through your body, spreading in waves through your abdomen,
upwards, until they reach the sensitive nerve endings in your nipples,
which you’re begging him to touch. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He laughs quietly against
your stomach, while his fingers work his magic inside of you,
scissoring and twisting, pushing deep, deep down to curl against that
hidden place that makes you writhe against him, breath harsh and
shallow, muscles contracting to keep him there.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Your hands
tangle in his hair, pulling his face up and he complies only to crush
his mouth against yours once again, and the one thing that you and that
neurotic twit Bridget Jones ever agreed on is that good guys don’t kiss
like that. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His body slides against your own, coarse chest hair
rubbing deliciously against your breasts. His free hand skims along
your side, the motion reversing at your hips to press upwards, until
his palm cups your supple mound, his thumb trailing lazy circles around
the hard peak in its center.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As you tongues duel, fast and
urgently, you can feel his hips grind against yours, feel the hardness
of his member press against your soft flesh and you can’t wait any
longer.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Your hands reach feverishly for the fastening of his
pants, button popping as you wrest it open. Your hands thrust between
the fabric, seeking skin, and heat, and velvet, and when you find it,
your palm sliding slowly down the pulsing length, he tears his mouth
from yours and moans into your neck. His hand abandons your wanton
body, to wrap around your underwear and tear it off, the restraining
fabric biting into your skin.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;They he raises his head to look
into your eyes and as you push his remaining clothes down his legs, you
become aware of a low chirping noise. Irritated, your eyes search for
its source, but before you can find it he moves back against you, his
throbbing cock pressing intimately into your folds, your liquid arousal
coating his hardness.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You forget to breathe, your head falls
back as you arch your back, reach between your bodies and gently guide
him to your opening. His hands grasp your hips again, as the chirping
becomes more insistent, once again demanding your attention. You try to
ignore it, try to focus on the sensations in your abdomen, the feel of
his skin, the brush of his breath against you breast, but it won’t go
away.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You determine that the sound comes from your right and with a heavy arm you swipe at anything within your reach. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A muffled thunk accompanies the alarm clock’s impact on the carpet of your bedroom floor.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Blinking
against the early morning sunlight, you rise up, your eyes falling on
your flushed, reddened face looking back at you from the wardrobe
mirror. With a frustrated groan you realize that you’ve been dreaming
and flop back onto your pillow, erotic visions fading in the bright
light of dawn.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;You’re not sure how you will be able to face him
today when you have to pick up that watch, but you have a feeling that
you’ll find something to dress for the occasion.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;b&gt;The End&lt;/b&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:1874</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/1874.html"/>
    <title>On Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:36:23Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:36:23Z</updated>
    <content type="html">So when I read the latest HP book over the weekend, I was pretty much blissed out with excitement. And initially I loved it without reservation, except for that one thing at the end, which a lot of people apparently disliked as well, so you know what I’m talking about.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then I spend the next few days thinking about the book, the conclusion, the ten years that I spent reading fanfic and loving this crazy, loopy, fascinating world, and I decided to write some of it down. At least the part that concerns the last book.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Massive spoilers ahead!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I was quiet surprised that apparently I like to nit-pick quiet a bit more than I’d anticipated.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I think Deathly Hallows is the first novel in the series that doesn’t lend itself to the one book = one year format. Due to the need to stretch out the trio’s search for the remaining Horcruxes  over such a long amount of time, the descriptions of spending months at a time doing nothing but debate the Horcruxes’s possible hiding places stalls the narrative and the scarce information of what is happening in the wizard world can’t compensate the ensuing lag.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Thankfully, these stretches of inactivity are interrupted by visits to Godric’s Hollow and Luna’s father, and from the time the trio is apprehended and taken to Malfoy Manner the story moves at a crisp pace and kept me enthralled till the end.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After HPB speculations about Dumbledore’s death were plenty and varied and I was in the camp that thought Dumbledore had planned his death at Snape’s hand since he had learned of the task of his assassination falling to Draco. I’m glad that DH proved this theory, because I would have been upset if Snape had turned out to be a Death Eater after all. I would have been thrilled, if he had worked towards fulfilling an agenda of his own instead of working only for Dumblesore, but Voldemort’s puppet? No way.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I really like the way Snapes relationship with Lily is portrayed in the DH. From the early days, when he is spying on her, giving their meetings a bit of a creepy atmosphere, which is completely in character with the Snape I know and love, to their shaky friendship later on, with Lily the only Muggle-born exception, in Snape’s otherwise black and white world of wizard-heritage-above-all-else.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The only thing I would have wished for, was that Snape’s decision to cross over to the side of the angels, had been motivated by more than just his love for Lily and the guilt he had felt due to his involvement in her death. It’s fine if that was his initial motivation, I just whished JKR had given us some hint that his fundamental attitude towards Voldemort’s goals had changed somewhere along the way. She doesn’t explicitly state that it hasn’t, but I would have loved to hear more about Snape’s change from DE to spy. But I have to admit that he was my favourite character and I would have gladly read Severus Snape and the Deathly Hallows, instead, so I’m glad he had a whole chapter dedicated to him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The redemptions of Percy and Kreacher. I love the idea and I think their reasons for “coming around”were well thought out, though I would have liked to see more time spent, particularly on Kreacher, though I’m happy that Hermione’s S.P.E.W. obsession was finally vindicated.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dudley about turn on the other hand felt forced. Again I like the idea, but this wasn’t even hinted at before and he goes from ignorant bully, to reluctant gratitude in two seconds flat. It’s one of the things that made this book to sugary for my taste, when added to the epilogue, Harry’s survival and Percy and Kreacher’s redemption.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;On the other hand I am very impressed that JKR wasn’t afraid to show that Dumbledore, for all his greatness, power and wisdom, wasn’t a perfect , all-knowing saint. She didn’t hesitate to make him unsympathetic and manipulative. I was fascinated by his admission that he felt he could not be trusted with power because he had let it get to his head in his youth. It makes Dumbledore human and three-dimensional, especially when those characteristics (being secretive and manipulative, nice parallel to Voldy) accompanied him to his dying day. There were hints strewn throughout the series, but till DH, they’d always been overshadowed by Harry’s POV.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Harry as a Horcrux. Now I will admit that I was hoping this wouldn’t happen. I had two theories going into DH about this. Either Harry is a Horcrux and he dies, or he is not a Horcrux and he lives. And as much as I love the book and the series as a whole, I think that having Harry be a Horcrux and survive is a cop out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I  might be able to buy that by the time Voldemort attacks Harry’s family at Godric’s Hollow, his soul has become so unstable that the rebounding AK fractures it even more and binds it to Harry, in spite of the dark and complicated magic, that it would normally take to create a proper Horcrux. But to make it explicit how difficult it is to destroy a Horcrux and that it is imperative that the vessel that houses the fractured soul must be destroyed as well. And then have Harry survive another AK and just be freed of the part of soul that had lived within him, while his body remains unharmed. No, sorry, but no.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know there are plenty of ways to fanwank this, but I if Harry had to be a Horcrux I would have preferred him to die in the clearing, his sacrifice protecting the fighter’s back at Hogwarts, the way his mother’s did him. (I loved the brief allusion to that, when Voldemort’s spells stopped working the way they were supposed to.) Then have Ron, Hermione and the remaining wizard/centaur/house-elf community rise up against Voldemort and his DE.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Another reason why I didn’t want him to be one is that I wanted to see a showdown between him and Voldemort, where Harry kicks his snaky ass.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The wand lore was interesting, but this is the one thing that could have used more build-up in the previous books. Not about the Elder Wand specifically, but the general concept of how wands are passed on/won and generally important. I know it was touched on briefly in the preceding books, about ‘the wand choosing the wizard’ and goblin’s being upset about not being allowed to learn wand lore, b ut the endless explanation during Harry’s fight with Voldemort were distracting and made the fight itself disappointing for me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That said the fight at Hogwarts, teachers, students et al, against the DE was awesome! McGonagall duelling Snape and rallying desks into a stampede. Trelawney fighting! With crystall balls. The biggest surprise for me was Molly Weasley though.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;For one thing I had always thought of her as a bit overbearing and at times even annoying mom, and (here I have to admit that I was a bit of an idiot) with the rumours flying around that there was a mole in the Order, I thought Molly had been put under the Imperius when she gave Harry that watch as a birthday present. I thought the watch had some kind of spell on it so that Harry’s whereabouts could be traced, a theory that crumbled once the Taboo was introduced.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But I would have never, never, picked Molly as the one to obliterate Bellatrix’s ass! “Not my daughter, you bitch!” was perhaps my favourite line in the whole book. I had hoped that Neville would be the one to take down Bellatrix, but boy, he got his moment when he killed Nagini. I was so, so proud of him, and I feel a bit ridiculous to be proud of a fictional character, but gave laud exclamation of “Go, Neville!”, when I read that, complete with silly smile and fist pump in the air.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The one joke that had me in stitches though, because it came out of left field was early on when Ron describes the value of his birthday present to Harry. “It’s not all about wand work, either!” Great line. Very sneaky, JKR.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I have this twisted love-hate relationship with the Malfoy family. I love that in the end, Narcissa and Lucius put their family above their allegiance to Voldemort, even going so far as to lie to his red-eyed face. I’m not a fan of black and white divisions and they are a refreshing shade of grey.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Speaking of which, I was really disappointed that after all this talk about standing united and whatnot, not a single Slytherin student stayed behind to fight. And I’ll admit that I am completely biassed in this, because I always held the qualities attributed to Slytherin as the once who could be used to the greatest effect, next to Hufflepuff, because I think that ambition, strategical thinking, and a knack of figuring out how people tick, as well as hard work with which to acquire skills and knowledge are more varied then the intelligence attributed to Rawenclaws and the bravery of Gryffindors.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know that JKR and I disagree completely on this point, (as I’m sure many of you do) and they are her books, so sticks and stones and all that, but I was hoping for a little more shades of grey for Slytherin house.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The Slytherin who became a bit ambiguous, and his journey throughout the last two books, was handled very well, was Draco. He started to realize what a mess he’d gotten himself in when he was tasked with Dumbledore’s murder, and from that moment on he steadily changed from the one-dimensional bully he had been in the earlier books. I didn’t anticipate him working for the Order or even actively helping Harry, that would have been too much, but I loved his subtle resistance, when he tried not to confirm the trio’s identities at the mansion, and the only thing that I like about the ill-advised epilogue is the nod of reluctant respect between adult!Harry and adult!Malfoy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;However, that epilogue was a really, really bad idea. I don’t even like Albus Severus because I can’t buy that Harry’s feelings towards Snape would ever turn from utter hatred to fond understanding. But that’s really just a minor point. The reason I don’t like the epilogue is because it is so utterly irrelevant (and not to mention nauseatingly sappy) in the review of the series. Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione has been set up over the past books and the story has never been about the romance. ( I did however love the scene leading up to and revolving around Ron and Hermione’s first kiss. So cute and funny, without crossing over to candy fluff.)&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Where is the insight about what happened in the wizard world? Who is Minister of Magic? Has the ministry changed its stance on wand lore being knowledge that should remain exclusive to wizards. Are they recognizing the centaurs, goblins and merepeople as intelligent, sentient races, that should no longer be shunned to the edges of society? What happened to the remaining Death Eaters? Are the house-elves being liberated, paid wages, treated humanely when they chose to offer their services? What happened to the Weasleys?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There are a dozen more questions that I would have liked an answer to (If JKR absolutely insisted on an epilogue, I would have much more preferred a completely open ending.)  and instead I have to read, what I already know would happen, because who will end up with whom has been telegraphed well ahead of the series’s conclusion. So disappointing, especially because it was unnecessary. DH could have stood well on it’s own, without an epilogue. I could have lived with JKR not answering any questions, the more to be explored with fanfiction. But if she absolutely wanted to write one, why not place it a year in the future and address the important issues that the series juggled with, the core of what I thought this story was about?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Going into DH, I knew I had to expect the deaths of quiet a few characters, and with Dobby, Fred, Remus, Tonks, and Snape it caught pretty much all of my favourites. Surprisingly, for me at least, I’m not upset about that. I didn’t have Hedwig or Mad-Eye on my list, or Remus and Tonks, on the other hand I though Hagrid was a goner for sure. However,  I called Snape, Dobby and one of the twins before I started reading the book. I’m mourning Remus and Tonks the most, because they were unexpected and I shipped them like crazy, and I am disappointed that they were barely in the book at all, leaving tons of potential unexplored, but I realize that with all the plot points and character arcs that needed to come together in this book, it must have been difficult to linger on them.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Reviewing this, I realize that I’m complaining about quiet a few things. I did love the book and I plan on rereading it as soon as I can, for what I’m sure won’t be the last time. The last third of the book kept me at the edge of my seat, turning pages without any breaks for food or drink. It was fast-paced and exiting. And I loved the details of the wedding preparation, Dumbledore’s will and Scrimgeour’s last visit, the continuity with the scar on Harry’s hand, courtesy of Umbridge, the reappearance of Umbridge, Krum, Luna, Dobby and Gringotts. I loved the attention to detail, the wonky characters and idiosyncrasies that made it a joy to read these stories and I’m a bit in a state of shock because it’s over, now.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And I’m looking forward to the last two movies and tons and tons of fanfiction!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And if you would like to read a much funnier review that will have you laughing so hard you can breath, read violet_quill’s If My F-List Wrote DH, which was reced on a friend's LJ.  Warning: Link leads to spoilers!</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:1562</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/1562.html"/>
    <title>Tribute - (Sylar/Claire) - NC-17</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:34:27Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:34:27Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt; Tribute&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author:&lt;/b&gt; &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='kereia' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;kereia&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Rating:&lt;/b&gt; NC-17&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Characters/Pairings:&lt;/b&gt; Sylar/Claire&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Summary:&lt;/b&gt; Claire gets tangled up inside a dream.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Word Count:&lt;/b&gt; 2127&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Warnings:&lt;/b&gt; PWP, some violence&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spoilers: &lt;/b&gt;Up to 01x23 “&lt;i&gt;How to Stop an Exploding Man&lt;/i&gt;”&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/b&gt; Heroes belongs to Tim Kring and NBC. I’m just borrowing.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Prompt: &lt;/b&gt;#2 “&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html"&gt;Need&lt;/a&gt;” - &lt;a href="http://community.livejournal.com/heroes50/"&gt;Heroes50&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author’s Note:&lt;/b&gt; I wrote this scene as part of a, as of yet unposted, sequel to &lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1156.html"&gt;Don’t Fear the Reaper.&lt;/a&gt;
But once I had finished it, I realized that it doesn’t fit into the
narrative structure of the sequel anymore, so I decided to post this
separately. All you need to know, is that this takes place a few months
after the events of &lt;i&gt;Don’t Fear the Reaper,&lt;/i&gt; and Claire moved to
a New York boarding school after the season finale.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Many thanks to my wonderful beta &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='drunken_hedghog' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;b&gt;drunken_hedghog&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;b&gt;Tribute&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She blames it on the coat. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Bad boys in long, dark coats are irresistible. She is fairly certain that this is a scientifically proven fact.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a name="cutid1"&gt;&lt;/a&gt;After all, how else can she explain the dream?&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
wakes up in her dorm in the middle of the night. The room is dark,
except for the hazy glow of a nearby street lamp, while the moon hides
behind a frayed canopy of clouds. The windows are wide open, curtains
billowing in a light breeze, which carries the scent of acacias and
lavender. Despite the languid movement of air currents, the room
temperature is far too high for April, and this is how she knows that
she is dreaming.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her eyes travel toward the opposite wall where
her roommate’s bed should be. Instead her gaze falls onto the shadow
that stands near the window frame. A tall silhouette shrouded in the
dark.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She is not afraid when he steps away from the wall;
further indication that this isn’t real. The coat swishes around his
legs, draping over firm, lean shoulders. His face remains bathed in
shadows as he approaches, and Claire half rises and pushes the blanket
away from her.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He doesn’t say anything, and the only sound in
the darkness is their quiet breathing. She pushes herself into a
sitting position, but he raises his hand, and she is pushed back by an
invisible force. A small twist of his wrist, and Claire feels the
covers slide against her as she is pulled to the side of the mattress,
until her lower legs dangle over the edge.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her breath hitches in
her throat, as phantom hands brush against her ankles, circle lightly
up her legs, the barest touch against her heated skin. The pressure
against her shoulders vanishes, shifts upward, a light sensation
against her throat. He is still standing there, silently, and she can
feel his eyes burning into her.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Unseen tendrils of power curl
around her underwear, inching the material down, the restriction of the
elastic rubbing deliciously against her sensitive skin. A small moan
escapes her lips as her nipples harden against the light material of
her nightshirt.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As her panties are flung away to lie forgotten
in a corner, he approaches, his hands replacing the manifestations of
his mind. He kneels between her legs, the faint shimmer of the
moonlight finally catching his face. A face that would seem impassive,
were it not for the heat in his eyes; the forceful dominance behind
those dark pupils, that send shivers down her spine.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
fingertips move in slow, unhurried circles against the joints on the
outside of her ankles, before unhurriedly travelling upwards, the
lightness of his touch filling her with equal amounts of excitement and
frustration. He leans forward, the rough material of his coat pressing
against her thighs, as his shoulders brush against her, causing a low
growl to issue from her throat. Looming over her, his hands encircling
her knees, he gently blows against the twin elevations of her nipples
below the plain wool of her top. Her breasts grow full and heavy under
his breath, and heat pools between her legs. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She shifts on the hard mattress, half impatient for him to take her, half enjoying her exquisite agony. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Then,
with a suddenness that elicits a small outcry, he grips her hard around
her knees and jerks her toward him, pressing her centre against his
own, as his mouth descends and fastens around one of her cloth-confined
peaks. The heat of his mouth burns her; nerve endings overloading with
the sensation of warmth and wetness, his tongue coaxing her flesh to
harden further. She moans, finally lifts her arms to wrap them around
his head, fingers raking through his tussled hair, silently begging him
to suck harder, deeper.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His hands move up her limbs to cup her
buttocks, long, strong fingers kneading the firm cheeks as his tongue
flicks against first one, then the other nipple, moisture cooling on
the abandoned skin, sending tiny bolts of electricity coursing through
her veins.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When he withdraws, she almost protests out loud, but
the pressure against her throat subtly increases, warning her to
maintain their sanctuary of silence. His hands sneak back between her
legs, pushing them open, exposing the drenched heat in between.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
gaze holds hers, invisible power supporting the back of her head, as he
bends down and lightly bites into the tender flesh of her thighs. Her
breath catches, as his tongue worries the sore spot he created, before
his lips feast on her skin, suckling slowly. Claire can’t suppress the
whimper in her throat. Her eyes are unable to tear away from his.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
emits a small moan, almost inaudible, as he enjoys her taste, his hands
holding firmly onto her spread thighs. He draws out her anticipation,
stilling her increasingly urgent movements on the bed with muscle and
mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Eventually he takes pity on her, abandons her bruised
skin, pushes his palms flat against her thighs, opening her further and
dips his head towards the hidden treasure of her womanhood. His eyes
hold her captive as his tongue trails once over the swollen folds, and
she throws her head back, breath stalling in her lungs.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
mouth explores the warm succulence before him, tongue dipping into
every valley, lips sucking on the musk scented peaks, lapping up her
juices as they flow from her stimulated body. She writhes against his
face, her delighted moans adding to the quiet symphony of the wind
chimes by the window.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His tongue circles around that small peak
in her centre, and when he finally trails the rough surface of that
muscle across her clitoris, she bucks against him, hips rising off the
crumpled sheets. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her breath comes in harsh, erratic pants, her
body twisting and turning under his skilful torture. Her head thrashes
on the pillow, until invisible hands clasp her throat tighter,
constricting her airways, causing her heart to beat like a wild thing
inside her chest; not from fear, but because it heightens her arousal.
He suckles the nerve cluster, varying between slow, gentle caresses and
fast, hard assaults, until that spring inside her is wound so tight
that she thinks she will break apart underneath the strain. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And break she does.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With
a silent cry, she shatters into a million pieces, body arching, vision
drowning in fire blackened stars, liquid flowing onto his eagerly
lapping tongue.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She comes down slowly, falling into awareness as
the dull throbbing of abated desire settles into her stomach. Her skin
feels chafed where his stubble pressed against it, but she can’t feel
him touch her anymore and her eyes fly open, only to behold him as he
stands beside her, his face once more hidden in shadows.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
tries to move, but finds herself restrained once again. He kneels on
the sheets, his coat rustling quietly with the movement as it fans out
around him. Her skin is sweat-slicked, and her limbs feel as if weighed
with lead, but the intensity of his gaze reignites her voraciousness
almost instantly.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He sidles closer to her, his hand lingering
briefly on her thigh, before snaking back between her legs. His
fingertips find her clit and softly press and circle around the swollen
nub until she spasms under the skilful ministration; still too
sensitive from her recent orgasm. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar raises his free hand,
extends a finger, and draws an invisible line from her stomach to her
neck, power following the gesture, cutting through her nightshirt. The
incision goes deeper than cloth, shallowly splitting her skin. Still
unable to move, Claire cries out as the pain from her injury mingles
with the pleasure wrought by his hand.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He bends over her, his
eyes boring into hers and laps the blood from her already healing skin;
traces his tongue from her belly button to the hollow of her throat,
leaving a trail of fire on her body. Her breasts beg for his
attentions, neglected safe for his brief detour earlier and he complies
to her wordless request, brushing his thumb against one of the
contracted nubs. As his fingertips continue to work between her legs,
his mouth feasts on her collarbone, leaving the skin bruised and tender.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
gentle interlude is short-lived. As she enjoys his diligence, he
abandons her clitoris and, without warning, plunges two fingers inside
of her. The sudden intrusion elicits a sound, half outcry, half moan,
as her hips rise against his hand in welcome. She can feel his fingers
curl inside her velvet channel, and the heat within becomes too much to
bare.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Swiftly, the pressure starts to build again, but he
withdraws immediately leaving her bereft of his touch, involuntarily
sobbing with unsated need.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His face re-emerging into the
moonlight, the corners of his mouth lift almost imperceptibly. Then she
feels herself lifted off the bed, flung face first onto the ground,
threadbare carpet rasping against her sensitive nipples. Instinctively
she tries to get up, put his power holds her down again.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
hears the rustle of cloth as he leaves the bed, the quiet clicking of
an opened belt buckle, followed by the tear of a zipper being lowered.
Excitement overrules any concern she might have felt, as heat and
desire threaten to overwhelm her. She squirms on the floor,
experimentally pushing her buttocks into the air, just to realize that
he doesn’t prevent her from doing so.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He kneels behind her, and
his hands press with bruising force into her waist. The fabric of his
pants rubs against her backside as he lifts her hips further, any
restraint he had formerly displayed rapidly eroding. He leans over her,
his breath harsh in her ears, and positions her body, angling her
against his hard member, before he uses one hand to guide himself to
her opening.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire braces her palms against the carpet, mewling
softly in anticipation, her breathing as erratic as her heartbeat. The
first thrust doesn’t hurt, even though it should, and that fact causes
the fleeting recollection that this is naught but a dream. Then
coherent thought is washed away as his cock stretches and fills her,
burrowing deep into her body, pushing all remaining breath from her
lungs in a groan of ecstasy.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He slides smoothly into her moist
heat, lingers once before he pulls back, his following thrusts hard and
fast, leaving her little time to adjust to his girth. Her face is
pushed against the floor. Small noises are torn from her as he pounds
into her; harsh, animalistic growls breaking out from a place deep
inside his own throat.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;After a moment he stills, hands releasing
her hips, and he bends forward, his palms resting next to hers as his
coat envelopes them both, edges trailing on the ground. At this angle
his zipper bites into her upper thighs, and his weight atop her own
grinds her kneecaps into the chafing floor, but she soon realises that
the increased leverage is worth the discomfort.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her heart beats
out a staccato rhythm in counterpoint to his renewed thrusts, the force
of his intrusion making her cry out. Wetness seeps from the place of
their joining, heightening the pleasure of their friction, as he drives
her mercilessly to the ground. Soon she spirals out of control again,
the waves building higher and higher, until she crest, plunging towards
a crushing impact with reality.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She wakes, sweat-drenched and wanting, fire in her stomach, juices soaking her underwear.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Throwing
off her blankets, Claire sits up, her eyes darting around the room,
lingering on shadows; but with the exception of her peacefully
slumbering roommate, she is alone. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As her heart calms, her
mind half-heartedly throws excuses and explanations at her, ranging
from post traumatic stress to her former school girl crush on Buffy the
Vampireslayer’s Spike, to her roommate’s recent Hex inspired tv
marathon and the ensued fawning over Azazeal, but none of these options
seem to justify her apparently sanity-challenged state of mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With
a shudder she recalls her last encounter with Sylar. How he had thrown
her up against a wall, threatened to kill her, and how she had barely
managed to escape with her life. She remembers his tall frame clad in a
black coat, hair tousled and spiky, long finger pointing at her
forehead.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She can’t fathom how one black coat can add the
bewitching, primitive allure to him, which was woefully absent in the
baseball cap wearing villain who attacked her at Homecoming, but she
knows that this bad boy fascination is an entirely unhealthy course to
pursue.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With a sigh Claire falls back onto her pillows, palms pressed against her eyelids.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Spike. Azazeal. Sylar. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She is definitely blaming it on the coat.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;b&gt;The End&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/font&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:1293</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/1293.html"/>
    <title>To Weigh a Life - (Noah "HRG" Bennet) - PG-13</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:33:05Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:33:05Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt; To Weigh a Life&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author:&lt;/b&gt; &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='kereia' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;kereia&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Rating&lt;/b&gt;: PG-13&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Characters /Pairings:&lt;/b&gt; HRG&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Summary:&lt;/b&gt; An account of Bennet’s heart.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Word Count:&lt;/b&gt; 995&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Warnings: &lt;/b&gt;Mentions of violence and drug abuse.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spoilers:&lt;/b&gt; Up to 01x23 “&lt;i&gt;How to Stop an Exploding Man&lt;/i&gt;”&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;i&gt;Heroes&lt;/i&gt; belongs to Tim Kring and NBC. I’m just borrowing.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Prompt: &lt;/b&gt;#13 “&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html"&gt;Love&lt;/a&gt;” &lt;a href="http://community.livejournal.com/heroes15/"&gt;Heroes15&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author's Note: &lt;/b&gt;A big &lt;b&gt;Thank You&lt;/b&gt; to &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='drunken_hedghog' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;b&gt;drunken_hedghog&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; for the beta.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;u&gt;&lt;b&gt;To Weigh a Life&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;According
to Egyptian mythology, after a Pharaoh’s death his heart is weighed
against a feather. The feather represents truth and justice, and only
if the record of his life’s deeds, which his heart accounts for, shows
that his life was virtuous, will Osiris welcome him into the afterlife.
However, if the scales dip against him, if his days were tainted by
greed, arrogance, and sin, Ammut will devour his heart, and his soul
will be cast into eternal darkness.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Noah Bennet has no illusions
about which way the scales would tilt, if his own heart were to
undertake this ritual. But he often wonders how much weight the sins of
his life have accumulated? &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of death is the
familiarity of the gun in his hand. It’s the crack of discharged
bullets piercing the chest of someone he almost called friend. It’s the
endless vivisections observed through transparent plastic windows.
Scalpels, their sharpened edges glinting under florescent light. Blood
on polished steel tables collecting inside the drain; a dark, red sea
washing away into darkness. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of faith is his initial
idealism. His unshakable belief in the company’s purpose, the deceit of
his wife, the absence of friends, and the carefully-observed distance
to neighbors. It’s the sight of his baby girl at Kirby Plaza. The
chance to hold her in his arms again, to protect her after he had
thought her lost forever. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of lies is in the stories
he tells at the dinner table; the quiet goodbyes to his wife, before he
disappears on his next business trip, not knowing if he’ll come home
again, or if today will be the day he encounters someone who is too
strong, too vile, too uncontrollable. It’s the betraying force of
jealousy, when his daughter asks her ‘uncle’ to teach her how to ride a
bicycle, how to swim, how to fry steaks and ribs during a Sunday
barbecue.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of fear is the knowledge that they are out
there, free and anonymous, and that some of them are dangerous. It’s
the sheer terror in his gut, when he finds out that one of them is
coming for Claire. It’s the ice cocooning his heart as he watches the
gentle smile of the wife he just kissed morph into the mocking smirk of
Candice Wilmer. It’s the constant anxiety and caution of everyday life
as he navigates the company’s bleak, impersonal hallways, knowing that
his silence is the only protection his daughter has.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight
of despair is a dream of mushroom clouds and walls of fire. Of
shockwaves and unbearable heat stripping flesh from bone. Of his wife,
his daughter, and his son glowing like stars among the lethal radiation
before fading away to smoke and ashes. It’s&lt;br&gt;the nightmare of Sylar
laughing behind the bulletproof glass of his concrete cell, Claire’s
dead body at his feet, blood dripping from her golden hair.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
weight of shame is the joyous smile on his daughter’s face when Claude
presents her with her first teddy bear. It’s her unabashed delight
whenever he comes to visit; in whispering secrets, and making up
bedtime stories, and wild adventures. It’s in the frustration of
watching from the outside as a stranger becomes an uncle, adopting the
role of surrogate father that should have been his. It’s the threat in
his voice, the needle in his hand, and the wide eyes of an ex-junkie,
full of disbelief and betrayal.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of doubt is in the
big, liquid eyes of a little girl, cowering behind her bed as he points
his gun at her. It’s in this moment of pushing every notion of ethics
and decency down, down, down, deep into the abyss; while he wonders
whether there still is a line he will not cross in order to keep his
family safe.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of pride is the reluctant respect for
his daughter’s ingenuity, covering her search for identity and truth
with school reports and the supposedly tedious collaboration with the
only friend she has left. It’s the new scientific discoveries and
increased arrests, which make him believe that he is part of something
significant, that he helps to protect, to make a difference. That in
this small way, he is a hero.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of truth is the soft
click of a subconsciously pulled trigger, followed by an unexpected
thunderclap. It’s the realization that he can take another’s life. It’s
the thousand excuses not to report Claire’s manifestation to his
employers. It’s on a remote bridge, when a bullet tears into his
abdomen, and the Haitian’s hand touches his forehead to erase the last
image of his daughter’s face. It’s the anxiety in his stomach, when he
tells her that she is adopted, and dares to hope, against all orders,
that she will still call him father. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of hope is her
choice of glasses for him and five little words, which touch a part
deep inside his heart, which he had sworn he would never let her reach.
“&lt;i&gt;You look like my dad.&lt;/i&gt;” It’s in the everyday squabbles between
Claire and Lyle, the small moments when he can’t deny that they are
growing up; when he feels a bittersweet pang remembering times gone
past.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The weight of love is the breathless wonder when his wife,
whose mind he has violated too many times to dare hope for redemption,
tells him that she knows the truth and loves him still. It’s the
absence of memories, erased, wiped out, destroyed, to guard what is
most precious to him. It’s in the trust he gave to a man, whose
allegiances are more convoluted and uncertain than his own; the charge
to keep Claire safe.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Ends and means. Duty and sacrifice. Fear and trust. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;On some days, he wonders if love is enough to justify his actions; if love can balance the scales.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;On some days, he can almost believe it.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;The End&lt;/b&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:1108</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/1108.html"/>
    <title>Don't Fear the Reaper - (Sylar, Claire) - PG-13</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:31:21Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:31:21Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt; Don’t Fear the Reaper&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author:&lt;/b&gt; &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='kereia' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/profile'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/'&gt;&lt;b&gt;kereia&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Rating:&lt;/b&gt; PG-13&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Characters/Pairings:&lt;/b&gt; Sylar, Claire&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Summary:&lt;/b&gt; Sylar is on his way to Kirby Plaza, when he runs into Claire.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Word Count: &lt;/b&gt;2472&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Warnings:&lt;/b&gt; Violence&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spoilers:&lt;/b&gt; Up to 01x23 “&lt;i&gt;How to Stop an Exploding Man&lt;/i&gt;”&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Disclaimer: &lt;/b&gt;&lt;i&gt;Heroes&lt;/i&gt; belongs to Tim Kring and NBC. I’m just borrowing.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Prompt: &lt;/b&gt;#17 “&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html"&gt;&lt;i&gt;Hate&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/a&gt;” &lt;a href="http://community.livejournal.com/heroes50/"&gt;Heroes50&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author's Note: &lt;/b&gt;Lots of thanks to &amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/b&amp;gt;&amp;lt;/a&amp;gt;&lt;span class='ljuser' lj:user='drunken_hedghog' style='white-space: nowrap;'&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href='http://www.journalfen.net/userinfo.bml?user=drunken_hedghog'&gt;&lt;b&gt;drunken_hedghog&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; for the beta.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;u&gt;Don’t Fear the Reaper&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar was not a man, who was easily impressed.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Once
you had killed over half a dozen people, cut open their skulls to
acquire almost God-like powers, and were on your way to ensure the
destruction of the entire width and breadth of New York City, life held
few surprises for you.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;So when he was crossing the street, and
heard the shattering of glass from one of the high-rises buildings in
lower Manhattan, he didn’t break his stride.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A disinterested
glance along the dark street revealed a body-shaped silhouette crashing
onto the grime covered pavement, glass raining on blond hair. The
cracking of bones was caught inside the stone and concrete canyon,
echoing between the walls of office buildings.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He reached the
sidewalk and was about to continue on his way to Kirby Plaza, when an
oddly familiar noise drew his attention back towards the woman’s body. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He heard the snapping sound of realigning fractures and remembered.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A
school gym. Homecoming night. One cheerleader dying by his hands, while
another one picked herself up from what should have been a fatal,
telekinesis-enhanced impact &lt;br&gt;with a yellow tile wall.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar
smiled as he watched Claire Bennet push herself to her feet and run
down the street into an alley, leaving the fading illumination of the
street lamps behind her.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It wasn’t difficult to overtake her. He
had been able to fly since he’d invited himself to a romantic,&amp;nbsp;
candle-lit diner, which Josh McNelly had planned for his fiancee on the
roof top garden of his San Francisco apartment building . Of course,
once the future bride had stepped beneath the star strewn sky, the
sight that had greeted her had lost most of its charm and allure. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
intercepted Claire at the end of the alley, saw her eyes widen in
surprise and recognition, and used his telekinesis to slam her up
against the wall.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Hello, Claire,” he said. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;***&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire
struggled valiantly against the pressure constricting her throat. Her
feet thrashed against the rows of crumpled, torn, and dirt smeared
campaign posters, which had been plastered on the wall. The stern,
earnest counterfeits of congressional candidates vying for election
votes.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Fear raced through her bloodstream, sending her heart
into an erratic cacophony. It was difficult to breathe, impossible to
stay calm, but she knew that panic would sign her death certificate.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
looked into the shadowed eyes of the man, who had threatened her life,
and the lives of her family, and a distant part of her found a vague
amusement in the fact that she saw her own life flash before her eyes.
Little moments, dredged from her memories, mundane, common,
unaccountably precious.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her mother, admiring Mr. Muggles’s new
haircut. Lyle, fighting with her over the last ice cream in the
freezer. An Englishman, smiling, gifting her the first teddy bear, in
what was to become a gargantuan collection. Her father, feeding her
chicken soup, when she’d come down with measles, two years ago.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She held on to those memories, cradled them to her, and found her courage.&amp;nbsp; &lt;br&gt;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; &lt;br&gt;“Well,
since you weren’t looking for me, you could just let me go,” she choked
out, his invisible stranglehold robbing her voice of strength.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He looked at her in bemusement, but did not answer.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
tried to shrug, but being suspended three feet above the pavement, and
pinned against a wall, as if she were a butterfly in a glass display,
considerably impeded her ability to move.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Can’t blame a girl for trying.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
corners of his mouth twitched. Then he raised his hand, focused his
mind, and a thin line of blood appeared where his finger pointed at her
skull. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her chocked gasp turned into a pain filled scream. He
broke skin and bone along an imaginary line on her forehead, but the
blood dried instantly, and her skin re-knitted itself.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar did not look particularly surprised.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I
thought so,” he said. “ You know, your brave little knight used that
same trick, just a few days ago. I guess he got that from you.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire
fought for breath, but a dull throbbing inside her head, and the fact
that her vision was drowning in grayscale, left her in little doubt
that she was suffocating.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Suddenly, the pressure on her throat
ceased, and she slid down the brick wall until her eye line matched her
attacker’s. Now, she found herself supported by invisible hands around
her waist. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“It seems, that I’m on my way to meet him,
actually,” Sylar continued, unabashed, and Claire realized that he was
studying her with curiosity.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;For a moment, she was confused, then realization dawned.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Yeah, Peter is alive.” she said, adding unfelt bravado to her voice. “And he’s going to stop you.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her
facade of confidence crumbled beneath his predatory smile. Sylar
approached her, his head tilted to the side, his eyes never leaving
hers.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“What do you think Peter can do to me, once I’ve taken his last advantage as mine?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Defiance
rose inside if her. She had died once before. She had seen her family
threatened, and torn apart by secrets, and lies, and fear. She thought
of her father, always trying to protect her, despite the cost of
betrayed trust and pain to himself. Her father, who was trying to stop
Sylar even now from destroying this city.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Too much had happened in the past two months to give up now. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“You’ll
never get my healing ability,” she ground out between clenched teeth,
her eyes swimming in tears, despite her intentions to be brave. “I heal
too fast. There’s nothing you can do.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar shock his head in mock disappointment.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Now, Claire. There’s no point in lying. That glass shard in Peter’s brain seemed to put him down just fine.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire’s thoughts raced inside her mind, and she decided to take a chance. There was nothing she had to lose.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“You just knocked him out, it didn’t kill him. And it doesn’t stop the healing. It’s a subconscious thing.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
expression became pensive, and she realized that she might have a
chance to buy some time, to come up with a plan and save her own life.
She rifled through her memory, hunting for any scrap of useful
information that she might have acquired since her life had turned
upside down.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A picture of Zach, sitting on the sidewalk,
materialized inside her mind; she recalled a conversation they had
shared, about comic books, clones and villains, spaceships and mutants.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“It’s
like cryogenics, without the freezing,” she hazarded, hoping the
explanation sounded more convincing to him, than it did to her.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“He was just unconscious, but if you’d tried to... to,” &lt;i&gt;‘open
up his brain’. I can’t believe I’m actually going to say that. I am
talking to a serial killer about amateur lobotomies like we’re chatting
about the latest choice of ribbons for my cheerleading pompom. &lt;/i&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She suppressed the sudden urge to laugh, knowing that hysteria was waving at her from across the road.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“...to open up his brain,” she continued, “he would have just healed over again.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He didn’t believe her. She could see it in his face.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
gaze roamed around the alley, then focused on the drainpipe of the
building next to her. With a protesting screech, the metal was torn
from its fastenings and a piece of rusted pipe measuring the length of
her forearm was twisted and compressed into a needle sharp spear, which
then floated into Slyar’s outstretched hand. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He approached.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire flinched, cold sweat running down her back. “It’s not going to work,” she said, well aware that she was about to die.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Then you shouldn’t be afraid,” he replied.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I’m telling you the truth.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“We’ll see in a second.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
flicked his fingers and her head was forcefully turned to the side,
exposing the back of her head. Claire closed her eyes against the
tears, whispering a quiet farewell to her family, before making a last
attempt to stall him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Damn it, I woke up during my own autopsy!”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;For
a moment, nothing happened. Then her head was released, and she snapped
it around to look at Sylar. What she saw instead, was the tip of the
spear hovering in front of her eyes.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She swallowed convulsively, realizing how close she had courted death. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The spear fell to the ground.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;***&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;He had an appointment.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Peter
Petrelli would be at Kirby Plaza. A nuclear explosion was fated to take
place tonight. Since he had returned to New York, he had followed the
path laid out before him by Isaac Mendez’s precognitions.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He could not afford to linger here any longer.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And yet, he hesitated.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;i&gt;Curiosity killed the cat.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The thought came unbidden and brought a self deprecating smile to his lips. Unable to resist, he succumbed to human nature.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“How did that happen?” he asked.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It
was obvious, that she was still shaken. He watched as she drew several
deep breaths and steeled herself. The expression on her face clearly
displayed her awareness of the situation’s absurdity.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I fell on
a tree branch,” she began. “They thought I was dead, but when they
tried to do my autopsy, I just kept healing over and over. They
panicked for a bit and finally got the idea to pull out the branch. So,
I woke up.” She shrugged. “ My dad had all their memories wiped. ”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar
remembered Bennet’s associates, the Haitian and Eden, all too well. His
temporary incarceration had been a disconcerting experience. It had
been the first time since he had started on his quest that he had been
forced to discover that he was not invincible. Reviewing her story, his
attention was drawn to one detail.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“You&lt;i&gt; fell &lt;/i&gt;on a tree branch?” he asked, his voice laced with incredulity.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her gaze shifted away from his.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Yeah.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“That was very clumsy of you.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She didn’t reply.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Claire?” he said, his voice a soft purr in the dead of night. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The girl remained stubbornly silent.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Claire,” he repeated, stepping closer, “what happened?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Defiance and anger flashed in her eyes.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I was pushed, all right?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Who pushed you?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He couldn’t really explain why he wanted to know, why he kept pushing the subject.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“None
of your business,” she ground out, real anger deepening her voice,
giving her courage. She met his gaze unflinchingly, as if daring him to
pry further.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Secure in the knowledge that he had the upper hand,
he found himself fascinated, that despite her current predicament, she
seemed more riled than terrified. Inside him, amusement warred with
reluctant respect.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He shifted his concentration and was rewarded with a small gasp, as the pressure against her throat increased again.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Who pushed you, Claire?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;She
fought him, grunts and choked cries escaping her mouth, feet thrashing
barely a foot above the ground. She fought until there was no air left
in her lungs, until her muscles felt as if they were weighed down with
lead, until she heard nothing but the rushing of her own blood, pumped
through her veins by a straining heart.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When she finally ceased
her struggles, and hung defeated in his ghostly grasp, he slowly
reduced the severity of his hold on her.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Brody... It was Brody
Mitchum.” She blinked away tears, but he was unable to tell whether
they were caused by hopelessness or hatred towards him. And he didn’t
care.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“We were together on bonfire night, and he didn’t take
‘no’ for an answer.” Her voice was quiet and resigned. But then, she
looked up at him expectantly, almost challengingly.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Is there anything else you want to know?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar
blinked at the sudden change in her manner. He didn’t know if this
rapid interchange of emotions was idiosyncratic for her, or simply a
common recurrence for all teenagers, but her constant migration from
fear to anger, from caution to standoffish defiance, unnerved him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Especially
since he was unable to justify his own actions to himself. He had never
participated in the kind of cat and mouse gamesmanship in which he was
currently indulging. It was true that his ire had been raised when she
had escaped him in Odessa. And it had been a blow to his ego, that she
had managed to elude him for so long. But wasting time with this
recount of teenage drama was out of character for him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He knew that he should just finish what he had started and take her ability. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Leaning towards her, he forced himself to focus on the situation at hand.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Looks like you have some experience being a victim.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Claire
had recoiled from him but at his words, she stilled immediately. There
was an odd expression on her face, neither fear nor fury; and the fact
that, once again, he could not decipher her mood, put him on his guard.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“You
know, I have to admit, I was a bit worried about whether or not I’d
survive tonight. But meeting you? It really is like fate. Like all
things are finally coming together.” &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“You mean... destiny?”
There was a forced, neutral quality to her voice, and Sylar had the
sudden impression that she was physically restraining herself from
rolling her eyes at him. It was a surreal reaction for someone, who was
about to die. Too comfortable, too at ease in its casual annoyance.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He braced his hands on either side of her face; seeking to intimidate, to remind her of the danger she courted.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Do you believe in destiny, Claire? That there are things beyond our control? Things we cannot change?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“No,” she said. She appeared uncharacteristically certain.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“And
yet, you are here. With me. On this night, of all possible nights. I’ll
take your ability, Claire. Thanks to you, I will survive.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I told you...”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I don’t believe you, Claire,” he interrupted. “You were destined to be the victim in this story.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her eyes flashed barely restrained fire. “I make a very poor damsel in distress. Brody learned that the hard way.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Sylar smiled, unfazed. “And what have you learned, little Claire?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“I’ve learned, that I am sick and tired of people using ‘destiny’ as an excuse to be a total jerk,” she ground out.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Then she kissed him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
sudden move caught him so entirely off guard that he froze. A second
later he jerked away from her, but her distraction had broken his
concentration. His telekinetic hold had evaporated, and her hands had
fastened around the lapels of his coat. Before he could react, before
he could even form a thought, pain exploded in his groin as her knee
came up, her desperation and adrenalin adding extra force to the blow.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Air
rushing from his lungs, stars becoming supernovas behind his eyelids,
he crumpled to the ground, as the echo of rapid footsteps faded from
his senses.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;The End&lt;/b&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:940</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/940.html"/>
    <title>Introspection Over Coffee - (Sylar, Gabriel Gray) PG-13</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:29:17Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:29:17Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;b&gt;Title:&lt;/b&gt; Introspection Over Coffee&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Author:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/"&gt;Kereia&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Characters/Pairings:&lt;/b&gt; Sylar, Gabriel Gray&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Rating:&lt;/b&gt; PG-13&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Warnings: &lt;/b&gt;Violence&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Summary:&lt;/b&gt; A brief biography of Gabriel Gray, while Sylar watches his next victim.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Spoilers:&lt;/b&gt; Up to 01x21 “&lt;i&gt;The Hard Part&lt;/i&gt;”&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Word Count:&lt;/b&gt; 3843&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Disclaimer:&lt;/b&gt; &lt;i&gt;Heroes&lt;/i&gt; belongs to NBC and Tim Kring. I’m just borrowing.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Prompt:&lt;/b&gt; #27 “&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/639.html"&gt;Life&lt;/a&gt;”, &lt;a href="http://community.livejournal.com/heroes50/" _fcksavedurl="http://community.livejournal.com/heroes50/"&gt;Heroes50&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;div align="center"&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;u&gt;Intro&lt;/u&gt;&lt;u&gt;spection over Coffee&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The clock is broken.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The second hand is moving an infinitesimal fraction of a second to slow.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It’s driving him crazy.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel Gray has always been a little odd. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When
he was five, his kindergarten teacher asked him why he kept drawing
spider webs into his notebook and who the stick figure in its center
was. Not knowing how to answer, Gabriel shrugged, and smiled, and
looked at Mrs. Call-me-Annie-and make-sure-to-clean-up-after-yourself
with big, brown, puppy dog eyes, and stopped drawing pictures of
himself.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;At seven he dreamed. At night, at school, at his
father’s workshop, at the dinner table. Wonderful dreams. Dreams of
saving the world. Of being a hero. Of being special.&lt;br&gt;He so wanted to
be special. He dreamed of flying. High above the city, watching people
and cars scurry around like ants inside the vast, labyrinthine hive
that was New York.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He dreamed about walking trough walls, about
being super strong, and super fast, about leaving Timothy Thooms a
little return present for the bloody cow eyes he had found in his gym
bag the other day. Timmy’s father was a butcher. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When he was
nine years old he played with the assembly of broken clockwork pieces
that he had found in a paper carton in the recesses of his father’s
workshop. He was sitting on the floor fiddling with the wheels, and
gears, and springs, humming under his breath, engrossed in the
possibilities, the potential that he saw in all those broken pieces
before him. His father had abandoned them as useless, but to him they
were beautiful.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His father came over and knelt beside him. In
his hands he held a broken antique pocket watch, plain by comparison to
some of the more valuable, elaborately designed pieces he had seen in
the display cabinets behind the counter. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Even then, he didn’t
care much for those ornate casings, wrought with silver and bronze,
gold and platinum, studded with splinters of pearls and rubies. Some
with real diamonds, some so laden with precious stones and broad,
gleaming, metallic bands that the watch itself appeared almost as an
afterthought to the jewelry.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He always preferred the plain ones. They didn’t try to hide what they were. They didn’t pretend.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A watch was a watch. Its function was to tell the time. Its purpose was to be exact, constant, and infallible. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Look
Gabriel, I fixed it. It’s a Vieyres.“ His father’s face was alight with
pride and satisfaction. “It’s over a hundred and fifty years old, and
now it works perfectly again. A beautiful piece of work, don’t you
think?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He smiled at his son and extended the watch towards him. “It should fetch a pretty price.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel
frowned in confusion. His eyes fixed on the blue steel hands that
continued their measured pace around the clock face, indifferent to his
scrutiny.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“But dad, the clock is broken.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His father looked at him askance.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“What do you mean?”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“The escapement isn’t working right.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel
couldn’t have explained how he knew. It was just something that
happened to him more and more frequently lately. He would look at one
of the clocks or watches in the workshop or in the glass cabinets and
there was this itch, this &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;tick&lt;/span&gt; in the back of his mind. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I’m not working properly. Fix me!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;At
first he hadn’t paid any attention to it. After all, his father was the
watchmaker. He had the experience, the expertise, and he was the
parent. And when you’re nine years old, you still think your parents
know everything. In any case, clocks didn’t talk to people. Even people
who were nine years old and a little odd.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Thus, Gabriel had kept his observations to himself, and had continued to play with abandoned, rusty, and broken timepieces.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Until now.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Why do you say that?” his father asked.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel shrugged, suddenly not sure if he should have said anything. “It just is,” he mumbled.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
father gave him a long look then, his expression changing from
curiosity to disappointment. “I guess you're still a bit too young to
understand.” &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He ruffled his son’s hair and returned to his
desk. Gabriel watched how his father held the pocket watch up to the
light that filtered through the high stained glass windows, a smile of
accomplishment returning to his face.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“A true piece of art,” he whispered.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Wrapping
his long, slender fingers around the hot coffee mug, he tried to ignore
the siren call of the clock above the diner’s counter. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His
mother had always said that he had the hands of a pianist. Her
expectations for his future profession were as eclectic as her choice
of collectibles. For every concert pianist, lawyer, doctor, investment
banker, celebrated artist, to which she had wanted him to aspire, there
was a postcard, novelty mug, or snow globe displayed with pride on her
shelves. Anything would have sufficed for her son, as long as he would
be lauded and revered, “...as God intended,” she would say. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Just like him, his mom had always been a little odd, too.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;On
his thirteenth birthday his parents took him on a four day trip into
the Colorado mountains. They stopped in Boulder for one night, and that
was the night everything changed.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It was a quiet evening. The
day had been warm, blue skied, and sunny, with only a light breeze to
caress the autumn foliage of a seemingly endless woodland vista.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Just
as the last rays of sunshine melted away from the reflecting surface of
the road, Gabriel stepped out of the diner, where he had eaten his
supper, and felt the world tense around him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It was an odd feeling. As if reality had the hiccups. There was a soft &lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;tick&lt;/span&gt;
in his brain. Just one. And then something inside of him snapped, and
he was uprooted, torn asunder, and reassembled in the space of a
heartbeat. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Shaken, he turned around, still feeling as if currents of electricity were washing along his skin. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;But
his parents were still waiting at the car and were smiling at him in
that meaningless, pleasant way, that people use when they have nothing
new to say to you.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“There is a clock!”  The statement burst out of him so fast that it took him a moment to realize, that he had said it out loud. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His father  gave him that quizzical, slightly bemused look again.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Of course there is. An atomic clock. They built it at the Institute.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel nodded as the fuzzy memory of a science class knocked politely at his brain.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He felt it. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
ticking. The atoms. Electrons spinning around protons, going round and
round, without losing one second in thirty million years. Without ever
having seen it, without ever having been able to touch it, Gabriel felt
breathless and overwhelmed by its beauty.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When
the coffee isn’t hot enough to scorch his lips anymore, he takes a
long, slow sip, letting the liquid linger in his mouth before allowing
its passage down his throat. There aren’t many people inside the diner.
He is sitting at the window, and the tables closest to him are
unoccupied.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He lets his gaze wander around the room while he
waits. The buzzing, that the broken diner clock causes inside his mind,
becomes more insistent.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A teenage couple holding hands and
throwing coy smiles across their chocolate and peach deserts at each
other. Two Asian men chatting excitedly in a booth to his left. Three
man and a woman sitting at the counter, grabbing a quick lunch before
returning to their offices or heading back on the road. A family with
two children. The mother trying to keep the peace between squabbling
siblings and a stressed out dad.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
wasn’t able to sleep, that night in Boulder. He stayed awake, sitting
on the paint chipped window ledge, watching the moon travel its languid
path across the night sky. Watching velvety black turn to dark, deep
blue, watching streaks of violet, amber, and pink stain an azure ocean.
&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And during all this time he listened. Not with his ears, but
with something indefinable inside of him. He listened to the clock.
That perfect, mesmerizing atomic clock.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick. Tick. Tick. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He listened until the sound filled him up, resonated with his heartbeat, his breathing, his thoughts.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When
his parents got up for breakfast, he could only look at them with wide,
glassy eyes, moisture clinging to long, dark lashes.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When
he turned fifteen, he started to help his father in his workshop after
school. His acquisition of skills was almost instinctive. With the
exception of refining the motor skills needed to wield pincers, gears,
wheels, mainspring winders, sleeve wrenches, and balance tacks, he
mastered all the disciplines of a watchmaker apprentice uncannily fast.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Within
three weeks, he had memorized all the minuscule variations according to
brand or time period of construction. One week later, his father, not a
little awed and intimidated by his son’s progress, allowed him to
assemble his first clock unsupervised.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;From that very first clock onwards, through the next fourteen years, every timepiece that  left his hands kept perfect time.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
finds his eyes drawn to the broken clock again. A fraction of a second
behind. Maybe one second every thirty hours. One minute every
seventy-five days. It isn’t much. It shouldn’t be significant, but with
every&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt; tick, tick, tick &lt;/span&gt;the
buzzing inside of him becomes louder. An itch inside his skull, a
vibration beneath his skin, a whisper in the back of his mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Fix me. Fix me. Fix me!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Briefly, his hands convulse around the coffee mug, as he fights the compulsion to get up and heed the unspoken command.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As
a child, that whisper in his mind used to be so soft as to be almost
inaudible. It was easy to ignore, especially since he didn’t know how
to acquiesce to its request. Once he had learned the skills of a
horologist, the voice adapted a gentle, urging insistence, like a
feathery caress across his synapses. And Gabriel enjoyed complying to
its wishes. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When he was seventeen his father became sick. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel
tried his best to support and, as time passed, to stand in for him at
the shop. His mother cared for her husband as well as she could, but as
the illness deteriorated his body, her despair scattered her already
fragile mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Harold Gray died three months before his son’s graduation.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
prospect of selling watches had never held Gabriel’s interest. His sole
joy was to obey the voice in his head, to erase the dissonance he felt
whenever his eyes beheld a broken timepiece; to align the continuous
motion of the watch hand to the beat of his heart.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;For the first
few years his focus rested exclusively on his work. He sold off all the
gaudy, pompous pretenders in the glass cabinets and focused on repair
and restoration. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His profit margin diminished at first, making
it difficult to support his mother, who required constant care for the
first year after his father’s death. Their savings were depleted, but
before necessity could force him to relinquish his position on the sale
of jeweled watches, his reputation spread beyond Queens and the
surrounding city, favoring him with acquaintances of private
collector’s, who valued his precision and dedication.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;In time,
his mother recovered her physical strength, if not her mental balance,
and began to reclaim command of her own affairs. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Surrounded by
clocks, fully occupied with the ceaseless pursuit to mend, to rebuild,
to perfect, Gabriel Gray was certain he had found his vocation. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
is staring at the young waitress, who approaches to refill his coffee.
He doesn’t acknowledge her questioning glance, as he listens to the
sharp, screeching, cacophony inside his mind, which drowns out the
conversations around him. Like fingernails rasping across a chalkboard.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her
eyes drop quickly away from his, as she suppresses a shiver. She
hurries away, his gaze following her, as a new sound blankets the
high-pitched whine echoing inside his skull. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;For seven years he was content.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Then the dreams came back.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
was flying over New York, watching the sun chase the horizon, watching
the moon followed by another ball of fire, their eternal correlation
alternating faster and faster, until he was blinded by the flashes of
pulsating light exploding on his retinas.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When time slowed down
again, he realized he was plummeting towards the ground, and barely
managed to slow his descent, before shattering his body on the
pavement. He arrived on a stretch of grass among the glass and concrete
giants, and fell to his knees, his hands enveloping his aching head.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Struggling
for composure, blinking to regain his star-blinded sight, he took deep
breaths and, as he looked around, realized that he was in a cemetery.
His legs shook, as he forced himself to rise, and his gait remained
unsteady as he walked towards the overgrown, lichen and ivy covered
headstones.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Marble angels and slate crosses rose above the
uniform height of white, grey, and black stonework, engraved testaments
to human mortality. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Still dizzy, he stumbled. He braced
himself against marble white stone, tinted green with age and neglect.
The lights before his eyes were fading and, as he shivered against the
cold, his gaze rested on the rows of buried remains in his path.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
cemetery was deserted, an eerie silence filling up the island space
between the towering, monochrome skyscrapers. He pushed on, withered
leaves and suffocated grass thick beneath his shoes.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
headstones became more weathered the farther he walked, creases
widening into cracks, splintered by the patient frost of ages past.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Bare
trees stretched their spindly arms against a cloud-domed sky of grey
and silver. His breath rose in little puffs from his dry lips, as he
approached the last row of graves.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He already knew what he would find. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With
the certainty of dreamers who walk the paths of clarity, defying the
laws of time, and space, and gravity, he knelt before the overgrown
patch of soil to look at his own grave. Engraved in grey slate, the
letters obscured by skeletal vines of evergreen, his name was barely
legible. He felt no surprise, no shock, no curiosity. Instead
resignation spread through him, as he bent his head and sighed.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He woke up then, inside the workshop, moonlight falling from a starless sky onto his face. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He was twenty-four. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And as he looked around the small space, where he spent most of his days chained to his work, Gabriel Gray felt unsatisfied.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
had tried to dismiss the dream, had blamed it on overwork and
loneliness, except that in the preceding seven years of his life, he
had never felt lonely or unhappy. Now, there was a gnawing restlessness
growing inside of him, clenching his stomach, constricting his heart.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As
the months past, he realized, that he had grown bored by the mundane
monotony of his life. The constricted routine of his days left him
short of breath, with a bland, dusty taste in his mouth. The clocks
still called to him, and even though he continued to heed their
requests, a discord had slipped into their whispers, which became
increasingly jarring, as three more years passed him by.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
adjusts his baseball cap and shifts slightly on the plastic chair.
Sunlight is falling through the front window of the diner onto his
black clad back. The heat becomes uncomfortable, but he won't move. He
knows he doesn’t have to wait much longer.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Noon is long past and
the diner is almost deserted now. The Asian men he noted earlier are
still tucked away in their booth, conversing avidly in broken English
with the friendly waitress he’s been watching all day.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Her shift will be over soon.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;From
the day Chandra Suresh stepped into his workshop, his life was never
the same again. The Indian professor left him with a book and a phone
number, which opened his mind to previously unconsidered possibilities.
Possibilities that filled him with near untamable excitement and
wonder. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His elation was followed by crushing despair at his inability to prove what he knew with unwavering certainty to be true.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He was special. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As
Suresh’s attentions to him waned, the first seeds of frustration and
fear blossomed into anger. He did not want to be left behind. The mere
thought of returning to his workbench, to pick up the tools he had
wielded for over a decade, to fade into obscurity again, filled him
with resentment. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Suresh’s final, disappointed rejection, sent
him stumbling into the crowded street, a note of yellow paper clutched
in his hand. Breathing in staccato, he listened as the nearby church
clock tolled out the hour, the screeching of its inaccurate mechanism,
for the first time, physically painful to his senses. He felt as if his
brain was turned into a pincushion. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Clenching his teeth, he looked down at the paper in his hand. In rigid black lettering it held the address of one Brian Davies.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The young waitress throws a last smile at her new friends, then heads towards the storeroom in the back.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
swallows the last of his coffee, his mouth drawn into a mask of
disgust. The cooling temperature sharpened the liquid’s bitterness.
Standing, he throws two bills on the table and leaves the diner.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Brian
Davies was uncomfortable. His shifted his weight, fiddled with his tie,
and flicked his gaze around the room, like a caged bird trying to
escape the fate it had been dealt.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;“Can you help me?” he asked, hope and uncertainty warring in his face.  “I want to get rid of it.”&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel
looked thoughtfully at the coffee mug on the display case. He was
barely able to contain his own excitement. With just a thought the
ceramic vessel had wobbled across the wooden surface, as hesitant and
unsure as Davies’s frame of mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel could not comprehend
how anyone could refuse to embrace such a gift, how anyone could fail
to realize the potential such an ability held. Davies’s lack of
appreciation for his own ability angered him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He walked around
the fidgeting man, almost overcome by frustration at his own fate. He’d
been so sure he was special, so certain that in time he would discover
his own ability, that he would rise above this dusty, little life and
leave the watchmaker behind him. He had hoped by observing someone like
him, he would be able to discern the method, the secret to access his
own power.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;But Brian Davies wasn’t like him. Brain Davies was
afraid to be anything but a businessman, a stock broker, a suburban
dad, with a wife, a dog, two point three children, and a white picket
fence.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Afraid to be anything but a watchmaker.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel took a deep breath, closed his eyes, ...and heard the dissonance.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He froze, half-convinced that he had imagined it.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As
he concentrated, the world around him faded into unnatural silence. The
ticking of the clocks and watches, the noise from the busy street
outside the window, the rasping sound of Brian Davies’s breathing was
sucked into a void of quiet peace.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And there, deep down, at the very edge of sound...&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;tick. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I’m broken. Fix me.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;It
was easy to open the diner’s locked back entrance. He concentrated on
the gears inside the lock, reached out with his mind and with a soft
clicking sound the lock aligned, and he pushed the door open. Slipping
inside the room, he allowed himself a moment to enjoy the coolness of
the hallway, a welcome change from the merciless October sun.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He continued his way towards the storeroom, where the waitress went about her work, oblivious to his intrusion.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Brian Davies was broken.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The
more Gabriel concentrated on the irregular ticking, the more prominent
it became, until it echoed through his eardrums, until he could taste
the sound in his mouth, feel it whisper against his skin.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Fix me. Fix me! FIX ME!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Gabriel
raised the stone paperweight and brought it down heavily on the back of
Brian Davies’s head. The man’s body crumbled to the floor. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Stunned,
he hesitated, his mind hiding away from the deed he had committed, his
heart racing, blood rushing through his veins so fast that he felt
dizzy. Agonizing minutes passed, as he became aware of the magnitude of
his actions.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;You killed. You killed a man. Is this what you wanted? Do you feel special now?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His rising panic was washed away by a second, cold, discordant voice inside of him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;He was broken. You can fix him. You are broken, too. Use him to fix yourself.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
knelt by the body as if in a trance, raised the paperweight again and
again, until Brian Davies’s brain lay open before him. Uncontrollable
spasms wrecked his body, as he bent to inspect the tissue, some small,
fading part of him fighting a futile battle against the overwhelming
tide of compulsion the cold voice had unleashed inside of him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His eyes focused and he beheld the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Clockwork.
An intricate, delicate mechanism, breathtaking in its unique
complexity, unfolded before him, and Gabriel Gray understood all its
secrets.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Joy rose inside of him, as he adapted, changed, became.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With a smile, Sylar rose from the floor, his beatific smile bidding farewell to the last rays of the setting sun.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The waitress’s body lies forgotten on the ground, her blood staining the grey linoleum floor.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
loves these first moments, when he hasn’t discovered the boundaries of
his new ability, yet. It feels as if an electric current is running
through his body, just beneath his skin. He takes a deep breath and
smiles.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Memory.&lt;/span&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He
has acquired the ability to remember everything, ever word spoken,
every sentence read; every smell, color, shape and thought stored
inside his mind forever. It’s not as grand, not as flashy as Brian
Davies’s telekinesis, but such distinctions are far from his mind.
Every ability is useful, every single one of them makes him special.
More than special, they make him unique.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;His command is
absolute. He knows which synapses he needs to spark, which thoughts to
activate, and how much control to modulate. Telekinesis, Flying,
Freezing, Memory. It is beautiful. It is easy.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Too easy.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He pushes the thought away. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;I’m broken.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He pushes harder, trying to bury the soft voice in his mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Fix me.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A fading whisper, which his new memory won’t let him forget.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He leaves the diner, the same way he entered it, taking care to lock the back door behind him.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;As
he walks down the street, away from this town, on to the next, where a
young girl has an appointment with him on her Homecoming night, the
first screams from the diner are unable to drown out the discordant
sound of a broken clock inside his mind.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="font-style: italic;"&gt;Tick.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;The End&lt;/b&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:757</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/757.html"/>
    <title>Prompt Table, Heroes</title>
    <published>2007-08-29T04:23:19Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-29T04:23:19Z</updated>
    <content type="html">&lt;p&gt;Here it is then. Irrefutable proof of my insanity. Let's see if I can actually complete these tables. &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="center"&gt;&lt;font color="#333399" size="4"&gt;&lt;u&gt;Heroes15 - Fanfiction Table - General Series&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/font&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;font size="2"&gt;Prompts #1 - 5 are an ongoing series. Everything else is standalone.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;font color="#800000" size="2"&gt;Spoilers up to 1x23 "How to Stop an Exploding Man",&amp;nbsp; PG-13 for the entire table.&lt;/font&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="left"&gt;&lt;b&gt;To Weigh a Life&lt;/b&gt; - Noah "HRG" Bennet, PG-13 - &lt;u&gt;06/16/2007&lt;/u&gt;&amp;nbsp; - #13&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="center"&gt;&lt;i&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;table align="center" border="3" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" width="60%"&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;01&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Secret.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;02&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Silence.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;03&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Fire.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;04&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Beyond.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;05&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Stars.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;06&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Rage.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;07&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Never.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;08&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Pain.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;09&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Tears.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;10&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Ruin.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;11&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Courage.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;12&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Laughter.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;13&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1598.html" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1598.html"&gt;Love.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;14&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Belong.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;15&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Want.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p align="center"&gt;&lt;font color="#333399" size="4"&gt;&lt;u&gt;Heroes50 - Fanfiction Table - Sylar &lt;br&gt;&lt;/u&gt;&lt;font color="#000000" size="2"&gt;&lt;i&gt;Mostly standalone fics. Series will be listed below. &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;font color="#800000"&gt;Spoilers up to 1x23 "How to Stop an Exploding Man", Some Character Vignettes, Some Sylar/Claire &lt;/font&gt;&lt;font color="#000000"&gt;(as I said "irrefutable proof"), &lt;/font&gt;&lt;font color="#800000"&gt;Sylar/Mohinder if you squint, or Sylar/OFC if the mood should strike me. Rated PG - 13 - NC-17.&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Introspection Over Coffe&lt;/b&gt; - Sylar, Gabriel Gray, PG-13 - &lt;u&gt;05/29/2007&lt;/u&gt;&amp;nbsp; - #27&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Don't Fear the Reaper &lt;/b&gt;- Sylar, Claire, PG-13 - &lt;u&gt;06/06/2007&lt;/u&gt; - #17&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Tribute&lt;/b&gt; - Sylar/Claire, NC-17 - &lt;u&gt;07/24/2007&lt;/u&gt; - #2&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;Do You Want To Be My Superman?&lt;/b&gt; - Sylar/OFC, NC-17 - &lt;u&gt;07/28/2007&lt;/u&gt; - #3&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;table align="center" border="3" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" width="80%"&gt;&lt;tbody&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;01&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Wish.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;02&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1803.html" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1803.html"&gt;Need.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;03&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/2320.html#cutid1" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/2320.html#cutid1"&gt;Dream.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;04&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Search.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;05&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Destroy.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;06&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Fly.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;07&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Swim.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;08&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Freeze.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;09&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Jump.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;10&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Run.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;11&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Mother.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;12&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Father.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;13&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Brother.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;14&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Sister.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;15&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Child.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;16&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Love.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;17&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1156.html" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/1156.html"&gt;Hate.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;18&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Sex.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;19&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Apathy.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;20&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Work.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;21&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Second.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;22&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Minute.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;23&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Hour.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;24&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Day.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;25&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Year.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;26&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Birth.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;27&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;&lt;a href="http://kereia.livejournal.com/772.html" _fcksavedurl="http://kereia.livejournal.com/772.html"&gt;Life.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;28&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Death.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;29&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Heaven.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;30&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Hell.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;31&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Earth.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;32&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Air.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;33&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Fire.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;34&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Water.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;35&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Spirit.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;36&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Rain.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;37&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Snow.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;38&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Wind.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;39&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Sun.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;40&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Moon.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;41&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Crimson.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;42&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Mask.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;43&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Breath.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;44&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Sacrifice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;45&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Devour.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;tr&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;46&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Writer's Choice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;47&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Writer's Choice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;48&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Writer's Choice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;49&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Writer's Choice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="1%"&gt;50&lt;/td&gt;&lt;td width="19%"&gt;Writer's Choice.&lt;/td&gt;&lt;/tr&gt;&lt;/tbody&gt;&lt;/table&gt;</content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <id>urn:lj:journalfen.net:atom1:kereia:316</id>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://www.journalfen.net/users/kereia/316.html"/>
    <title>Introduction</title>
    <published>2007-08-25T22:36:20Z</published>
    <updated>2007-08-25T22:59:53Z</updated>
    <content type="html">So, Heroes drew me back into online fandom recently, and I've actually been inspired to write fanfic again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;My current fandoms are Heroes, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Discworld, and Doctor Who. I am a fairly slow wirter but plot bunnies for the first three fandoms on that list are running rampant at the moment, so I will get those stories posted eventually.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Other than fanfic, I've recently discovered the joys of Photoshop and started making icons. I'll use this journal as a mirror to my LJ one (same username, in case anyone cares) and apart from fandom post there will be reviews of books, movies and tv episodes, rants about anything and everything, as well as recs and random links I find of interest.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I'm going to use the next few days to backup my LJ posts over here. Shouldn't take me more than a couple of days.</content>
  </entry>
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