Current mood:

exhausted

So the ex is late. Big surprise. Asshat.

gradeafan sent me a convention t-shirt and a Lex keychain. Excuse me while i go make out with it, shamelessly. :p

I've just about lost 50 pounds, but i think I'll weigh myself Saturday morning before the convention. I weighed myself like twice yesterday. I don't want to go mad. LOL.

Speaking of madness, I did a reading with the faeries. They say I need to understand unconditional love. I don't get it. It's true. I mean, if someone hurts me enough, they might as well feel my wrath, no? Maybe it's an issue of self worth. I dunno. There's a few people in the world who love me that don't have a reason and it drives me mad trying to figure out why. I mean, loving someone without conditions.. I think I had that with Anders, until he abused my understanding. :/ I don't think it exists.

Ah, the ex showed up. He seems behaved. I may rest well now. LOL.

(Post a new comment)

unconditional....hmm
(Anonymous)
2003-08-29 03:55 pm UTC (link)

I think there is no such thing as unconditional love. I mean it maybe possible to love someone and not be able to pinpoint the reason/s you love them, but that is because you love the person in their entirety and not just parts of them. And unconditional as in the sense of expecting nothing from the other. THAT doesn't exist for sure. Humans are selfish. They all are, even if they insist they're not. If you love someone, you want to be with them and *snap* there's the first condition. You expect them to spend time with you and if they don't or can't it will upset you. And that's just one of a gazillion 'conditions' that come with loving somebody, so 'unconditional love' *shakes head* one of the myths men made up to have a nice fairytale dream to hang on to. It's like the thing with the 'one true love' I don't think there is just One person in this entire world that is destined for you. People change and develop, Some grow together, some apart that's just how it is. Enough of my philosophical rambling, see what entries like that do to me? *shakes head* I need to go out and live. Can somebody tell me a nice place to go?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

Re: unconditional....hmm

ladylynx
2003-08-29 09:54 pm UTC (link)

Heh. I wonder when I'm not being selfish. I watched this episode of Friends where Joey told Pheobe that if doing something good makes her feel happy, she's selfish. LOL. I guess selfishness isn't always bad. I guess selfishness is a term like death. It's negative or positive, depending on the situation.

I don't think there is just One person in this entire world that is destined for you.

I'd like to believe it though. LOL. I guess if everything that happens is supposed to happen, then there's bound to be someone I'll bump into and be hopelessly besotted by. LOL. I once made my ex promise we'd get together in the next life. He said I'd recognize him by the leather shorts. LOL. I like this concept from The Wheel of Time series, by Robert Jordan. Everything that happens is woven on a wheel. As a strong believer of the Moires, I think it makes sense. I think fate allows us to create our own patterns and tapestries but they're willing to take over when we don't.

Woodgate New York is nice this time of year. I miss it.

BTW, who is this?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: unconditional....hmm (Anonymous) 2003-08-29 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	Urgh, sorry I forgot to say it's me Sab aka Samacoffeeaddict aka Blaire's girlfriend aka the bitch with the whip and I think I can come up with a couple more aka's if I think real hard, which is not an option now, since I'm dead tired hugs, Sab (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

Re: unconditional....hmm

ladylynx
2003-08-29 10:32 pm UTC (link)

LOL. Did you get to sleep last night? I hope I was of some help. I'm not sure how the spell would work on someone besides me. I mean, I got it from a book but I deify sleep. LOL.

I bitch on this LJ, but I'm not leaving LJ. I come here to escape it for a while. ;)

I don't know why I chose journalfen, of all sites. I mean, I have a deadjournal I can escape to. I'd just like to run, run, far, far away. I'm so sick of fandoms and people who only care about what I can do and not who I am. How ironic. :-/

(Reply to this)(Parent)

(Screened Post)

ladylynx
2003-09-04 01:55 am UTC (link)
Thanks. :)
(Reply to this)(Parent)