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GOVERNMENT TO OFFER TRAINING TO HELP LONG-TERM EMPLOYED BACK ON THE DOLE
The government has today launched its new Train in Vain programme, an ambitious project to move millions of long-term employed Britons onto the dole.
Work and Pensions Secretary James Purnell said: 'High numbers of the UK workforce haven't set foot in a jobcentre in over a decade, and many of the forms are now a completely different colour.'
The move is expected to save the jobs of up to 3000 Jobcentreplus workers, who had been hit hard by several years of unrelenting prosperity.
Wendy Cross, Operations Director of Jobcentreplus said:
'This is a real shot in the arm for Britain's minor functionaries. Nothing was getting people in the door - we tried coffee bars, soft furnishings and even just giving the money to anyone who turned up with their arm in a cast. The new programme means we can look in detail at the career aspirations of people who have recently been in work, then offer them the first thing that comes along, because otherwise we stop their money. We're going to get the country moving.'
The government has also promised to tackle barriers to unemployment by ensuring the widest range of people are out of work.
'For many years the system has favoured the workshy, the low skilled and lone parents,' argues Cross, 'but finally we have opened up the benefits network to investment bankers, airline pilots and lawyers. If the government continues to steer the same economic course then I think it's safe to say that Britain will end up with one of the most highly skilled unemployed workforces in Europe, if not the world.'
Good news for benefit claimants
In a shock move designed to alleviate some of the worry that these uncertain times provoke, the government has announced that anyone losing their job due to the current financial crisis can take part in a new scheme. Any newly unemployed person who can find a Jobcentre that is open, and manages to make an appointment to see somebody will be entered into a free draw for the chance of their claim being looked at within 8 weeks. Terms and conditions will apply, and these will be announced at a later date.
Swap-around benefit reforms 'will halve claims'
The government has also announced changes to the benefit system which will halve the number of claims and double the efficiency of the system, a DWP spokesperson announced today.
"Basically, what we are proposing is that claimants come into the Jobcentreplus office, undergo a Work Focused Interview, and then swap round to the other side of the desk. The newly unemployed jobcentreplus staff-member will then come in and undergo a Work Focused Interview.
They then swap round to the other side, and so on, until someone has to go home and feed the kids."
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