So I finished reading Watchmen a little while ago. The thing is, when I try out something that I know my friends like, I feel really weird and uncomfortable when/if it turns out that I don't like that thing as much as they do.

Sometimes, with fandoms like Due South or The Sentinel or Blade Runner, there's a bit of a left-out feeling; the idea that there's something really awesome there, and if I could just look at it the right way, like one of those 3-D pictures, I, too, could 'get it' and see the dolphin.

Sometimes, it's that people can feel really uncomfortable when they're all squeeful about something that their friends don't like. It's the fandom equivalent of dating the Bad Boyfriend; he makes you happy, you're ecstatically happy and, at the same time, your friends can't stand him and it's awkward. And I don't like the idea of imposing that feeling on anyone.

On the other hand, I really dislike the idea of self-censoring myself because I'm scared it could, possibly, at some point make someone feel bad. I don't extend that to mean that I need to air my opinion on everything I think about everything (else this journal would have a LOT more entries), but I also do a lot of my processing and thinking through the transmutative medium of writing things down and if I'm at a place where I want or need to process something, I don't want to deprive myself of that based on an ephemeral maybe.

Um. So take that as a disclaimer or something. I didn't hate Watchmen, by any means, but I don't love it, either and I'm trying to work that all out. So if that's going to harsh your squee, don't click the link, ne pas?

( Need I point out that this will be very spoilery? )

(See what I did there?)

Anyway, Facebook has a new application, where you de-friend 10 of your facebook friends and get a free Whopper.

Considering how srz bzns friending can be, and to throw it all away for a sandwich, I predict WANK.

Daily Count: 383
Weekly Count: 7,047
YTD: 7,047

---

AKB 39: 159 words. I am SO OVER this creative dry well I have going on right now. Yeah, blah, blah, cycle...but okay. ENOUGH NOW. On the other hand, it's nice to get back (sorta) to Jared and Jensen being friends. It's something I've wanted to have more present and, as Jensen observed, something he hasn't had a lot of time for. I feel like I could spend ridiculous amounts of time exploring this world and these characters and the struggle is always in choosing the details that will keep the narrative tight and moving while not being so storyline oriented that I lose dimensionality.

On the other hand, this conversation between Jared and Jensen feels kind of limping and I can't tell if that's my writer-muse issues or whether it's actually limping. I suspect it's all me.

Appetite: 18 words. *cries* I MISS this story so badly. But at the same time, I feel like I've lost confidence in it in a big way and I don't know how to get it back. I open the file nearly every day and most days, I end up closing it unaltered. The fact that 18 words is a triumph makes me so sad. I don't know how to get my mojo back, but I'd really, really like to.

Rules of Attraction (Criminal Minds): 206 words. So I pimped wrenlet into Criminal Minds. And she, in turn, has re-pimped me into doing a rewatch. Despite my deep, craving yen for long, character-driven fic about two of the characters overcoming their many, many issues to grudgingly and gradually get together, my new fanon is that Hotch and Reid have been messing around since before the pilot. I don't know if I'm going to write anything (else) about it or if I'm going to post this little doodle (when/if I finish it), but it pleases me to think of it.

---

What pleases me: They work with some of the smartest, most perceptive minds in the world. Profiling is their work, but it's also their hobby, it's a reflex. Even in normal workplaces, only about 26% of office romances remain hidden. Theirs is not a normal workplace.

What I'm reading: Still chugging through World War Z. I haven't really done any reading for the last couple days, though. *face* Need to get back to that.

Distractions: I think my biggest problem is a lack of words and that makes it easy for me to be distracted by whatever shiny blows past. But mostly I'm just staring at that cursor, watching it mock me. On the other hand, I have new FNL to watch and JDM's interview on Jimmy Kimmel to fill me with wild, crazy flail. Oh, JEFF. How do you be so wonderfully adorkable?

---

Happy birthdays to fidelis5588, rei_c and zvi_likes_tv. I hope it's the most joyous of days for you all.

I have a printer!

It's a new printer!

It's a WIRELESS printer!

I can sit on my couch and print things!

Sadly I still have to stand to get them, but still!

*bounce bounce bounce*

Also unrelated to that: thanks to those who gave Wii recs the other day. I passed them on to my boss who was very appreciative.

Is LJ being exceptionally robust, or is it just me?  Vandalism by pissed-off ex-employees?

It's probably just me.  But I can't get to LJstatus to find out for sure, so I thought I'd post here.

Sorry to bother everyone (okay, I'm not.  Not really.)

Edited to add:  Okay, not just me, then.  On the one hand, Phew.  On the other hand...I bet this has the potential to become epic.  Even when it turns out to be just a hiccup.

Edited again to add:  Now when LJ comes up it shows the following message:  LiveJournal.com is currently unavailable due to emergency maintenance. Don't worry, this has nothing to do with our recent company layoffs! It's a technical problem, not a lack-of-personnel problem.

Thank you for your patience.

Final edit:  It's baa-ack.  And I'm going to the bookstore.

And GreatestJournal is dead.

http://www.greatestjournal.com

A week in the new year, and two journaling services are already dead? That's harsh. Check out the 403 error.

Fandom: CWRPS
Pairing: None. Sort of Chris Kane/Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Slave fic. Language. Abuse of RL events.
Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story.
Word Count: 2,744
AN: Another outtake from the AKB universe. Theoretically could stand alone, with basic knowledge of the universe. Takes place about 15 years before the current timeline. Big thanks to those who held my hand: beanside, meredevachon, mona1347 & nilchance. *mwah*

---

( I'll manage. Master. )

Daily Count: 1,560
Weekly Count: 6,664 (I'm changing my format for this to sync up with findyourwords, which statuses on Thursdays)
YTD: 6,664

---

AKB: 1,560 words. OMG, that's more like it! Finished the Kane outtake; just need to polish it up and then I'll be posting it today. The "outtake" is now as long as any of the LONG chapters of AKB. *sighs* This just highlights my inability to judge how long it's going to take me to say anything. Of course, my initial ideas about the outtake were complicated by realizing what had "canonically" happend to JDM in the same time frame as the events of the outtake. As someone who likes to mess around with this whole writing thing, I don't know if there's a greater pleasure than the random, textural seeds I've dropped in the story coming together in ecstatic serendipity into something that feels both brilliantly inspired (at least in the eye of the beholder) and bigger than myself.

I talk a lot about my stories as an observer, a recorder, a transcriptionist and that's how I think about them, a lot of the time. Something that comes to me from elsewhere and that I only have the most ephemeral of control over: the choice of a director--to pick what details I want to illuminate and which I want to push to the background, the choice where to pick up or put down, the opening and closing of scenes. So when all these small details that I'm juggling (but have "no control" over) come together...it's like finding the final clue that solves the mystery. The one thing that brings into relief all the others, taking them from being mere details to being breadcrumbs along a path. And I full on LOVE that.

I don't know if the readers ever enjoy those moments as much as the writers do, but I also don't know that it matters. La Muse has be fully collared and shackled with no hope of escaping. But when it's good, he makes it DAMN GOOD.

Anyway. Not sure what I'm going to work on today. *pokes at WIPs*

---

So I'm not really in popslash fandom, but I did have a brief, intense flirtation with it and became really enamored of Rhys' work (so much so that I borrowed her Chris for a cameo in The Killing Moon). I was telling nilchance and beanside about Book of Secrets and found out that her site has been suspended. O NOES! I don't even know if she has an LJ or if her work is available anywhere else. I would hate to lost Book of Secrets or MPREG...does anyone know if her work is available elsewhere?

Happy birthday to lostakasha, whose poetry-prose always leads me to embarrassing heights of fawning and despair that I'll ever be able to do with words what she does.

While gamer sites are doing the "Best/Worst of 2008" awards, Zero Punctuation decides to do one too... but a little bit differently.

Oh, Nip/Tuck, how could I have forgotten you were back tonight??

Also, WHO HAS THE MARK RONSON cover/remix of The Smith's "Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before"? WANTSES.

Fandom: Leverage
Title: Unfinished Business
Characters/Pairings: Nate, Eliot, Hardison (sort of Nate/Eliot pre-slash)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3960
Summary: Nate gets a call from a wounded and trapped Eliot who only wants a ride home, but Nate can't just leave him once he realizes just how wounded Eliot is.

A/Ns & Warnings: This was meant to go slashy places. It didn't. It has the early warning signs of slash to come. Still not sure I got the character voices and stuff right, but it's my first go at the fandom...so...features wounded!Eliot and confused!Nate, prescription drugs (illegally obtained), various wounds, and a little bit of schloomp.

( But, somewhere out here was Eliot…and probably plenty of trouble. Not from your average street gang either. Not with Eliot. Okay, so maybe Nate was a little bit worried now.  )

Doubtless you saw this in Metafandom, but I thought I'd post it here too.
Portfollies.com poll

"Portfollies will be a social networking website where people can upload their portfolios (text, image, video and audio files), both original and fan works. The website will also offer communities/forums, and a variety of tools to help with creation and communication."

My boss got his kids a Wii for Christmas (or at least that's the official story. How much the kids have actually gotten to play with it is another matter... ;) ) Anyway, he's not much of a tech geek so he doesn't know what all is out there. He and his wife liked bowling and tennis, and his oldest son (who is 7) absolutely loved Lego Star Wars. Actually his oldest son loves Lego anything.

I do not own a Wii myself, but I know many of you do. So - got any recs for games? For him or his kids.

Thank you!

So it's official; I'm sick. Not dying, but definitely in the "fuzzy headed, can't focus, not compos mentis" form of sick. Bleagh.

And...already I've messed up with the birthdays:

Happy belated birthday to ebonypsyche, merihn, and synecdochic! Happy birthday to meyerlemon and sahsedalia!

Blessings on all your houses!

---

Daily Count: 697
Weekly Count: 1,352
YTD: 5,104

---

AKB: 665 words. 289 on the Kane outtake and 376 on AKB 39. ARGH. SO. SLOW.

Blade or Handle: 32 words. ARGH. EVEN. SLOWER.

Remember when I used to write? Anyone? *cries*

---

Also--I think any panic about LJ closing down or piking off is premature and not really warranted at this juncture, I DO think that backing up your data is never a bad idea.

Everything I post to this journal is posted simultaneously (through the magic of Semagic) to my mirrors on Insane Journal and Journal Fen (same username). If you don't like either of those options, most of my fic (I'm a little behind) is also posted on Love is Just a Bloodsport.

thecatevari is mirrored on IJ as dogsofwar. antarasheart is mirrored on IJ under the same username.

Any of the comms I mod for (sundownverse, whatwekeep, kamikazeremix, mini_nanowrimo, otpofdoom, etc.) have been mirrored/migrated under the same names over on IJ. Comments didn't/don't migrate, but the raw data is there. With whatwekeep, that generally only means a lot of links going back to LJ, but it's something.

I think the most important thing is not to panic or freak out before anything has concretely happened. But it's also not terribly difficult to ensure continuity of data. Take whatever precautions make you feel good and then sit back and see what happens. There's been any number of LJ panics just since *I'VE* been in fandom (and that's not long) and we're all still here.

Transformers comic book fandom wank.. Early this morning, it was about pedophilia.

My doppelgänger from the IDW fan forum Skwege learned that he had been accused of having sex with children by the IDW forum fantards on Transfans.net. Sprunkner is a real internet tough guy. Unfortunately, he made it quite easy to find his dox.

Skwege was not happy to find he'd been slandered as a pedo. So he calls (yes, as in calls Sprunkner's landline) to tell him to take it down. No yelling, just something along the lines of "call me whatever you want but accusing me of child fucking is not cool."

What does Spencer (Sprunkner's IRL name) do? He freaks out and hangs up!

That's right-he's a coward. So Skwege leaves him a voicemail:

"Hi Spencer :

You like to make libelous accusations about people having sex with kids? That is really grown up of you. Oh wow, you live in Washington State as well? What a coincidence! Bellingham is only an hour from here.

It's not funny! I know little punks like you think they can run around all anonymous on the internet and think nothing can bite them in their ass. However let me tell you little man, you are going to retract your statement, and then apologize. Talking shit about someone is one thing, but making a disgusting and FOUL comment like that is libelous. I have the time, money, resources, and most importantly the fucking patience to see this through so don't toy with me little man."

Then Sprunkner has his wife (yes, someone actually agreed to marry him) respond. He doesn't have the balls to answer Skwege himself-he makes his wife call him back and tell him not to call. Unfortunately, Spencer posted her phone number and email as his contact information.

Some PMs get exchanged on the IDW forum and Sprunkner accuses Skwege of threatening him (although I doubt the police consider being asked to take down a post or telling someone you're suing them for slander are violations of any particular laws). He makes an announcement on Transfans.net, crying that Skwege is harassing his family and that he called the po-po on him.

Sprunkner did call the police and they in turn contact Skwege.

The result? The police are highly pissed off-at Sprunkner. Because this is much ado about comic books.

All this name calling and wank is over whether or not the comic book series All Hail Megatron is in continuity.

The police were not too happy about being called to mediate a dispute over Starscream's alt mode.

They lecture Sprunkner and felt Skwege was somewhat justified. Skwege apologizes for dragging the wife into the mess because being accused of fucking children is serious business that involves the IRL banhammer.

The wank continues on Tranfan.net where Sprunkner whines some more (I guess his wife made him sleep on the couch) and Skwege threatens to post a scan of the police report.

These fine examples of male adulthood continue to fight about giant robots. I believe Sprunkner's wife summed it up succinctly in an email to Skwege: "This is a fight over made up robots-let it go."

Unfortunately, everyone ignores her.

Edit: I accept this is total fail. Need more recipes and fail macros, please.

2.1-Meter-Tall Pine-Cone Totoro Unveiled in Japan.

If only that had been in the Rose Bowl Parade, I might have watched.

The bubble in social networking has burst, decisively. LiveJournal, the San Francisco-based arm of Sup, a Russian Internet startup, has cut about 20 of 28 employees — and offered them no severance, we're told.

The company's product managers and engineers were laid off, leaving only a handful of finance and operations workers — which speaks to a website to be left on life support. Matt Berardo, a Yahoo executive hired on last summer, is also believed to be gone.

Source

Can you imagine the amazing bitchfest wankery that would go on if anything happened to LJ??? The internet would implode...

This one is for my mom - she just finished reading Phantom of the Opera (book, obviously) and wants to know where the fandom is - or at least where the fanfiction is: if anyone could rec me some good bookverse fic* I would be very, very much obliged. Good mimickry of Gaston Leroux's style (in the puffin classics translation) is a gigantic bonus.

Also one from/for myself - now that I've exhausted Yuletide's offerings and am already in the middle of the Dragonchoice duology (it's good!) - is there any other good Dragonriders of Pern fic on the net? I'll read most anything, although I really like metay fic.

* (gen or het, ideally; I think she would freak if I linked her slash. Also, non-porny, since I would freak at sending links to porn to my mom)

I just got finished watching Dear Zachary: A Letter to a son about his father. It aired on MSNBC last night and is in theaters around the country (check the link for info). I'm not sure how much to say about it because I feel like anything I say will give too much weight to some aspects and not enough to others.

If you poke around on the website you'll find out all the details about the film. Including spoilers, if documentaries can be considered to have spoilers. Which some of you may want to read in order to decide if you can see it. But others might not want that information because without it you get to experience many of the events as the filmmaker did.

The shortest summary is that Andrew, a close friend of the filmmaker's, died, and the filmmaker (Kurt) decided to make this movie as a way of honoring his friend. Then he found out that his friend had a son, so he decided to make the movie for the son, Zachary, so that Zachary would have something to know his father by. I'd say that information gets you to about the halfway point of the film, and after that are a lot of events that unfolded while Kurt was still making the documentary.

This is a hard movie. It's not the best documentary ever created, but at the same time its weaknesses are its strengths. It's not a polished film, it's a deeply personal memorial. You watch it and you feel like you know these people. These are people who are going through horrible events that no one should ever have to go through. Watching it you are going to be devistated. I personally feel like I got kicked in the gut. I still haven't stopped crying.

But at the same time - it's a story that needs to be told. It needs to be known. By the end of it I think you'll understand why you needed to be told about Andrew, and Zachary, and Andrew's parents. And part of it is that the only way the dead can live on is through memories, so by watching this we increase the amount of memories out there. And part is that even as you're there, probably crying yourself hoarse and feeling sick to your stomach, you see the absolute best in humanity and that needs witnessing and remembering too.

I want to own this movie at the same time that I feel like I couldn't possibly ever watch it again. And this all goes back to that feeling of how this must be known. A part of this story needs to live in as many people as possible.

So I'm doing my bit to honor that part by telling all of you about it. It's not easy and those of you who are parents and/or are sensitive to the idea of parents suffering the loss of their children should probably go to the website and get the full story so that you can decide if the movie wll be too triggery for you. But if you can watch it, do. For all of Andrew's family.

Daily Count: 655
Weekly Count: 655 (new week)
YTD: 4,407

---

AKB: 533 words. On the Kane-Jeff outtake. I also finally buckled down and figured out Kane's backstory/previous line of owners. It's strange; putting Jensen's past together was so easy and Kane's has been so relatively hard. Possibly because Kane is such a different kind of slave. It's easier to hypothesize the kinds of circumstances and the kinds of owners that would leave Jensen pliant and submissive than those that would make Kane the kind of man he is. And that leads to its own question: Kane is the way he is with Jeff...but does that mean he's always been that way? Was he more servile with less lenient owners, or was he on the fast track to a bad end before Jeff got his hands on him? I'm not 100% sure yet. I think there's an uneasy in-between and I'm trying to find it. Kane in the current time-line has been Jeff's slave and agent for fifteen years and is a man grown. OTOH, I did make mention about how, at an early stage of their relationship, Kane threw things at Jeff and broke one of his teeth. So it's difficult and challenging to try and thread that needle. I didn't feel like I was going to have to. Kink had other ideas.

Blade or Handle: 122 words. Connor is another uneasy headspace. I know why I'm writing from his POV and I feel like it's the right POV, but it's not a headspace I ever thought I'd find myself in and it's not one I feel comfortable in, though I've never had a problem looking at Connor's thought/feelings from the outside. Of course, how much is that from the fact that I don't see Connor as ever having been comfortable in his own headspace. Especially considering the way mona1347 and I posited the tangle of his early memories. What does interest me is exploring the difference in Connor's feelings for Sam versus his feelings for Dean. Part of it is the obvious: Connor was in love with Sam once upon a time; a part of him still is and they have a shared history. With Dean...I'm not sure how to characterize Connor's relationship and feelings toward Dean. I mean...I can feel it, I'm just not sure how to put it in words. They started off as very antagonistic, two wolves fighting over Sam. And a big part of that antagonism has never died. Connor can't quite get past the fact that Dean got Sam and Dean can't get past the fact that Connor got a part of Sam that Dean never did, and at a period in time when Sam's ostensible reasons were that he was leaving it all behind. But over time, I think that antagonism has matured and deepened into both a real respect for each other and some kind of Sam-related bond that has spawned its own affection. And I think that the two men that loved Sam sense a sameness to each other and there's something to that, too. I dunno. It's kind of cool.

---

What pleases me: "You have to collar me." He fists his hands, knuckles burning against the carpet's nap, angry that he has to be the one to say the words. He snakes his fingers through the link of the Commerce collar, tugging it taut. "I can't leave like this."

What I'm reading: Though I didn't get any reading done yesterday, I'm still on World War Z.

Distractions: I have two posts that I want to write, one about the show Big Love (I've been re-watching S1 and 2 in anticipation of the new season) in general and one more broadly themed about marriage, looking at Boston Legal and Big Love. Of course, I don't know if much of anything will get done today, considering I feel like poo. *sighs* I'm so tired of feeling like poo.

Christmas decorations are gone. My tradition is to leave them up until the Epiphany (...heh) but since that's in the middle of the week I figured may as well do it now. My living room has so much ROOM now! WHEEEEE!

Tomorrow I go back to work. While I'm in the in-between stage I'm all meh about it. I think once I make it to work I'll be more content about it. In an odd way I think I've been thrown by not having a routine. Mind you I'll probably deny this when my alarm goes off tomorrow and I have to drag myself out of bed 4 hours earlier than I've been getting out of bed over the past 2 weeks. But then I'll just remind myself of how much I spent over the holiday and how it's nice to have a paycheck to replenish the ol' savings account.

Of course the cats are of the opinion that I shouldn't go anywhere. Mac in particular, as he lies across my arms right now. It's possible he won't even let me go to bed.

Written up here by stewardess.

(May shortly be wanky, but not provocative enough for clairvoyantwank just yet, I thought.)

Since I'm flitting around so much, writing-wise, I think the best thing for me to do is just post what I've worked on instead of the many, many things I'm NOT working on.

( State of the Writing. )

---

Happy birthday to apieceofcake, flipmontigirl & greedy_dancer! I wish an excellent day--and year--to you all!

I read the best story last night. It was recced a while ago by svilleficrecs (who I trust pretty implicitly) and I've had it open in a tab ever since but I hadn't stirred myself to do more than glance at the first couple sentences.

I was actually thinking about closing the tab, shutting down for the night and instead...I fell into the story. HARD.

In her review, svilleficrecs said it was one of the most fucked up meet-cutes she'd ever seen...and she's completely right. But that kind of only makes the unspiraling of the story all the better. It starts off wrong (and I mean that in the absolute most complimentary way, believe me) and then gradually becomes more and more right, to an ending that left me with a huge feeling of satisfaction and a giant grin on my face.

It's original fiction, so you needn't worry about not being familiar with the fandom and it's really, incredibly good. It's I WOULD PAY FOR THIS STORY good. It's not your grandma's rom-com; there's some violence, dark, questionable sex, D/s themes, a little bit of dub-con, but OMG, it is SO INCREDIBLY good. I'm thinking I should reread it today.

Songs You Know by Heart by Dr. Noh.

And I woke up this morning to find that romanticalgirl had written MOST EXCELLENT Die Hard fic for me this morning. I don't want to say too much about this one because it's shorter, but oh. Oh, yes, that, please. All in all, it's shaping up to be a good day.

Live Free or Die Hard| Farrell/McClane| WAD Files by romanticalgirl

Fandom: Kane RPS
Title: Succubus, Part Three (follows Part One and Part Two
Pairing: Christian Kane/Steve Carlson
Rating: Very NC-17
Word Count: 1717
Summary: Succubus!Chris. Pet/Slave!Steve. Christian returns from his trip needing Steven...

A/Ns & Warnings: I blame badfalcon for this, as enabled by havenward and monica_catch22 who use Twitter to enslave me to write for them. Warnings for bondage, D/s, biting, some blood!kink, um schloomp? I'm not sure how, but it found it's way in here.

( He smells of the outdoors, of rain and wind over the intense smell of him…that scent that draws his victims in, the aroma that captures and captivates him, enslaves him.  )

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: None. Gen.
Rating: All ages.
Warnings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Word Count: 200
Summary: Aaron Hotchner is a father.
AN: Random PT is random.

---

( If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you might as well make it dance  )

Okay, I think this is the place to post this, but if it's not, let me know and I'll delete it. It seems to pertain to "fandom" as a general rule.

Anyway, the news about Terry Pratchett being knighted has inspired me to pick up the books I've had sitting around waiting to read. I've finished "Mort" and I'm most of the way through "Wyrd Sisters" and while I can say that I love Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, the character I'm really in love with is Death himself. (God that sounds weird!)

Being that I'm pretty much broke right now (car payments, credit card payments, car repairs and now I'm going back to school... I has no money to spare on things like novels!) I have to reserve them at the library through their transfer system, and the transfer system is not very good at giving decent book descriptions beyond author, title, year published and format (hardcover vs softbound). So what I'd like to know is this: which books focus most on Death and his household? Because I seriously love his laid-back everything-in-due-time attitude, and I'd love to read more of his escapades. I'm sure I'll enjoy any Pratchett book I pick up, but I'm really eager to read the books about Death. (Why do I get this weird feeling that I sound like an emo-gothic-wannabe when I say that?)

Not anymore, you don't.

Journalspace is no more.

DriveSavers called today to inform me that the data was unrecoverable.

Here is what happened: the server which held the journalspace data had two large drives in a RAID configuration. As data is written (such as saving an item to the database), it's automatically copied to both drives, as a backup mechanism.

The value of such a setup is that if one drive fails, the server keeps running, using the remaining drive. Since the remaining drive has a copy of the data on the other drive, the data is intact. The administrator simply replaces the drive that's gone bad, and the server is back to operating with two redundant drives.

But that's not what happened here. There was no hardware failure. Both drives are operating fine; DriveSavers had no problem in making images of the drives. The data was simply gone. Overwritten.

For all the bitching we do about LJ and (occasionally) JF, at least their backups actually back things up.

Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Alistair/John/Dean
Other Characters: Sam
Rating: A very serious NC-17
Word Count: 5076
Summary: Alistair is determined to break Dean, and he'll use any means at his disposal to do it, including a certain other Winchester who spent a few years on his rack too.

Warnings: This is maybe the darkest thing I've ever written, and those of you who have read my work know I don't say these things lightly. This at the very least rivals the "P!Verse"...in some ways it goes darker places than that. There is rape/non-con, dub-con, there is torture, both physical and mental. This part of this fic does not contain any real comfort.

A/Ns: This began as a comment fic prompt that simply wouldn't leave me alone. Then I was surrounded by dirty, filthy enablers (I'm eyeing varkelton and denyce specifically here). I haven't seen fandom really address the issue of John and his year in hell in light of Dean's revelation that 4 months was like 40 years...and if Dean broke in 30 years, how much longer could John have held out? In my mind for this, John escapes hell in "All Hell Breaks Loose" but isn't necessarily the John we remember...and what happens after he kills his enemy is murky at best...what if he was just far enough gone that he never could come back?

( Normally I put a line of the fic here, but instead I leave you one final warning: Torture, seduction, blood, gore, mental torment, rape, father/son incest, demon rape...this is not pretty fic. Think before you click. )

I almost never put end notes on fic, but I feel that this requires a few other notes. 1) This is not the end of this piece. This is where I take a break from this piece. 2) The next piece might ultimately be even darker, as it will deal with the ten years Dean spends in hell as his father's apprentice. 3) The last piece might actually end up being multiple pieces as it is beginning to look as though I will be re-writing season 4 to date as this would have changed it...I won't go into details...hopefully, that is where we will get at least a little bit of comfort and such for the poor boy. Also, for those playing the home game, the title is Latin. It means "Falling into Nothing".

The wank over the new Doctor Who has already begun.

Some like the new Doc, Others Don't

One Rants About Him Being a Crappy Choice

Another post says everyone needs to grow up

Another says DO.NOT.WANT

And the posts just keep on coming!

Still, I really wanted Paterson Joseph. :o

ETA 1: More screaming and capslock at Who_Anon!

ETA 2: More ugly wank at ONTD, with bonus Martha Jones wank

ETA 3: Macros at ihasatardis, including one of Matt and Billie!

ETA 4: Also Captain Jack has spoken! Bishy wank and age included!

ETA 5: Round 900 And Counting!

ETA 6: The missed Crafty Tardis wank post!

ETA 7: The Eleventh Doctor has enraged the internetz so much that even readers of The Sun are having a field day; Page 2 and Counting!

The state of the writing for yesterday was: Pathetic. I think I got about 39 words written on Last Kings of Sateda and that was it. I spent the rest of the day answering emails or comments on LJ. LAME, PT, LAME.

Happy birthday to kerrikins and shrift! I hope you both have a fantabulous day!

In yet another entry to the ongoing list of things I want but will never write...let's talk about Leverage.

Oh, I'm not saying I'll never write Leverage (though things look cloudy at this moment in time) but, as usual, the story I have in mind would be a rather lengthy one and one I don't have time to write right now if I'm going to get any of the BILLIONTY other things on my to-do list written. But.

Okay. So my fannish leanings are going Nate/Eliot. But it seems like the fandom is going Alec/Eliot. Which is fine; I'm used to shipping underdog pairings. But somehow perusing my flist this morning and thinking about it, Kink whispered a plot bunny in my ear. ( Read more... )

Matt Smith has been named as the actor who will take over from David Tennant in Doctor Who - making him the youngest actor to take on the role.

( Text of article )


ETA!
MORE IMAGES? Is this the right guy now?

( Fixed the cut, sorry )

Yeah, that's him... The Viggo thing kind of went out the window just now.

ETA 3:
Hasn't Tyra taught us anything at all? ANGLES. It's all about the angles.

ETA 4:
And now a video interview.

Remember that post about Crunchyroll going legit? One of the first things they're picking up is Naruto Shippuden, which will run on Crunchyroll with subtitles an hour after the show runs in Japan for the paid members there. Joost.com, Hulu.com, and Naruto.com will run the episodes for free a week later. This will start with the next episode, running on January 8.

In addition, subtitled episodes will be uploaded to all above websites at 8/week until the entire catalog is available.

In related news, Dattebayo has dropped Naruto Shippuden from its subtitling rounds.

I'd like to start a betting pool on when the wank will begin.

Happy birthday elusive_life_77 & whosjeebus!

So, I was just reading an interesting post by someone on my flist (who I'll identify if she likes) about a book she's reading and it raised the following question:

Do you, as a presumable reader of books, think it's "better" for a white author to attempt to include characters of color and potentially screw it up royally or is it better for Clueless White Authors (and I'm using that as a sub-set, not a descriptor for the entirety of white authors) to "stick to their own kind" and write only about white characters? (sorry, I've had West Side Story music stuck in my head since yesterday)

Obviously the most ideal answer would be for writers to be savvy, knowledgeable and respectful enough to NOT screw it up and still be diverse in their writing, but if that's barred as an answer...what do you choose? And why?

As a subset of that question, what white authors have you read that you think do a good job of portraying characters of color? My absolute favorites, I think, are barbara_hambly's Benjamin January series. She was also my gateway drug into George Alec Effinger's Budayeen series, of which I've only read the first book, but I'm intrigued.

I had a lucifrix this week and you didn't, neener neener neener. There was eating of food and watching of DVDs and I dare say fun was had. At least by me. lucifrix will have to speak for herself, assuming she wasn't eaten by snow beasts on her way home.

After dropping her off at the train station I hit the bookstore, then went home to read and nap. Not at the same time. Though boy would I get so much done if I could.

Only 2 days left until I have to go back to work again. It was a productive vacation, and I shall miss it.

Now to start the new year off with a meme! Which I have stolen from ktnb81:

Please comment with something you think I should do or try to do in 2009. Big or small, silly or earth-changing.

I want to post these fairly early in my day, which means the "daily count" will always be YESTERDAY'S count.

Daily Count: 3,092
Weekly Count: 3,092

---

AKB: I've posted 2 outtakes (Cruise and Kilmer) and a fairly lengthy piece of meta about Kilmer. I haven't started the Hutton outtake (which I think I need to think about a little more) or AKB 39 (which also requires some thought to figure out how I'm going to come at it.) It's funny to me; I have fairly detailed knowledge of things I want to do in the future, but the "now" is slightly opaque. Hilarity. Or a cruel muse. You decide.

Appetite: No progress. Ugh. I'm starting to have serious guilt and worry about this. I'm having trouble picking up the emotional arc where I left them. I'm not sure whether I need to go back and do a re-read or whether I need to scrap the ongoing scene and retrench. I left them in a kind of a weird, playful place and I'm having some kind of block about slipping back into the story again.

Blade or Handle: 67 words OMG, progress! Slow, aching progress, but progress nonetheless. I'm having such a difficult time with Sam and Dean right now; not just writing them, but even reading. The canon is so sad and painful to me right now and I love it; I've loved this season deeply, but it makes it difficult for me to immerse myself in them and their headspace. And hard to drag myself out of it again and not have it influence my real life.

Mortal Lovers (Lightverse): No progress. I have the opening in my mind, but I haven't written it yet. I'm a little stuck on logistics.

Riding The Tiger (Sundown): Sundown is one of those stories that I need to re-read and immerse myself in before I can pick it up again. It's also a difficult universe to write because it is very emotionally fraught. And Riding the Tiger, I think, stands to be even more wrenching than it has been so far because the boys are so close to the breaking point. It's possible I'm a little scared. The good part is that I'm feeling excited about it again.

Other Things: I always have any number of stories tugging at my coat tails. Girl in the World is still pushing for me to write at least the first scene. I've also been poking a bit at Last Kings of Sateda, a long, pre-series Sateda!Dean story that's going to be hard as hell to do justice to. I wonder if I should add it to the list. I think I wrote slightly more words on that than I did on Blade or Handle, sad to say.

---

What pleases me: "This is not a game, Dean." The words hurt to say, his chest breaking open around them, but it's also the first time he's felt like he can breathe in weeks. "This is anything but a game. Because if anyone finds out—Dean!—if anyone knows we are both royally, completely fucked. Do you understand that? Are you hearing me?"

What I'm reading: Finished Watchmen; at some point I'll probably write my feelings up about it. As ever, they're a mixed bag and I always feel nervous about writing less than squeeful reviews of things when a number of people I like and respect are very enthusiastic about it. I've just barely started World War Z (so far so good) and I'm still fondling my copy of Of Bastard Saints, so I see that in my future, probably concurrently. If I can get past my Sam and Dean angst.

Distractions: The aforementioned write-up of Watchmen. The fact that I'm having trouble commiting to a single thing/story/idea. I've gone from feeling restricted by my commitments to having what feels like almost too much freedom and it's possible I'm floundering a bit. I have a hyperactive muse and the arrogance to think I can write almost anything (except humor). That's not really a good thing.

... that TV Tropes was on twitter? I didn't. I almost wish I still didn't.

11th Doctor Who to be announced tomorrow.....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7807742.stm

Countdown to wanksplosion somewhere in the fandom tomorrow....

I don't really make New Year's resolutions, but one of the things I would like to work on this year is being better about acknowledging my flist's birthdays. I'm frankly rotten at it and I don't like that. So.

Happy birthday to amy_vic, jmystic and stawberynvanila! I hope it was a wonderful, happy day.

In that vein, I am so sorry that I didn't remember to thank those of you who sent me Christmas cards. I was nervous about asking for any in the posts that went out because I didn't know for certain we'd BE here long enough to receive them, but that just made it a deeper and more welcome pleasure when the cards came.

derryderrydown, moonmelody, quicknow, romanticalgirl, shotofjack, the_ellcrys (and intaxicated), thank you very much for your warm holiday wishes. They meant a great deal and I apologize that it took me this long to mention it.

I feel like I've misplaced a card (or two) somewhere, so if I forgot to mention you, please forgive me.

deirde_c and heidi8, thank you for the vgifts. They were points of brightness in an otherwise very emotionally difficult holiday season.

Cross posted to all my journals!

I received a phone call tonight from my publisher to let me know that Dark Roast Press and some of our authors and books have been nominated for the "Preditors & Editors
Readers' Poll" Awards.

The catch is, it's one of those voting Polls, where the people who read vote for their favorite books and authors.

So I turn to all of you!

See, my ebook "Rysykk's Rise" was nominate for Best Science Fiction. If you read "Rysykk's Rise" and loved it, liked it, or maybe if you just like me...I could use your vote!

The page that lists all of the voting categories and links is: http://critters.org/predpoll/

Click on the Science Fiction & Fantasy Novels link. Find "Rysykk's Rise" (the entries are in alphabetical order) and click the radio button, then go to the bottom and enter your name and email address. In order for your vote to count it must have a valid email because they will send you an email with a link that you have to click in order for your vote to count.

You can vote once per email address per category.

You can also post write in votes if you think that's necessary. You know...say...for "In Service"? or something? *hint* *hint*

Apparently someone took me seriously, because "In Service" is now listed under the Romance Novel category. Voting procedure is otherwise the same.

And I noticed someone included me under the author category as well!

There are a lot of categories and a lot of books and ebooks included. It could mean a lot of new readers if we place well, not just for me, but for all the other fabulous writers at Dark Roast Press (look for them in all of the categories).

The voting runs through January 14th. I appreciate all the love and support from all of my readers!

Most of the time, I feel like my writing should do the talking for me. Sometimes, after the fact, I realize that I have more to say or that I have commentary about what I've just written that I want to record for my own posterity, if no one else's. I'm actually really fond of going back and reading the things I've had to say about various stories after the fact. Mostly because, by then, I've forgotten half of what I did and why. *wry*

So this is mostly for me, though anyone is welcome to read it. It's not really spoilery for AKB, except in the way that it talks more explicitly about Jensen's relationship with Val Kilmer and, to a lesser degree, Tom Cruise and most of these details have not found their way into any of the written material before this.

( On writing RPS, writing AKB, and meta on the Jensen/Kilmer relationship. Tl;dr. )

*whew* I feel better.

Fandom: In Treatment
Pairing: Amy/Jake, sorta kinda Jake/Paul
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Abuse of the dream state. Language.
Spoilers: For the whole Jake/Amy storyline.
Word Count: 3,382
AN: Written for phoebesmum for yuletide 2008. Many thanks to shotofjack and inlovewithnight for their advice and wisdom.

---

( I had the dream again. )

I'm just C&P'ing a mousie's post from wank_report. I can't pass up entitlement wank.

Crunchyroll is going legit. The site owner, Shinji, has been wheeling and dealing to have anime air subbed only days after it airs in Japan.

OK, users are pleased, the Naruto fans look on in anticipation, everything seems hunky-dory.

Then, Shinji introduces Anime memberships for the site. Did not read all of the benefits but the gist seems to be higher quality videos and quicker access to the anime from Japan.

That happened in the past few weeks. Now queue the new year!

Oops, did he just say that he was removing all fan uploaded content and getting permission from the publishers?

Queue the butthurt, angst, and I will kill for my anime!!!!Z!!!!!!ZOMG~!!!! Along with people eagerly trading links for other sites to feed their addiction.

The dramas, anime, and music sections now look like ghost towns, with the exception of stuff Shinji has wheeled and dealed for.

People are predicting the death of the site, but for now, it's fun seeing the entitlement angst going on over there.

I've already professed my deep and profound love of inlovewithnight, but I'm about to do it again.

Her brain. Her shiny, shiny, BRILLIANT brain. OMG.

So I mentioned a while ago that she was writing a story in the AKB universe, Out of Joint. It stars Ioan Gruffudd (Fantastic Four, Horatio Hornblower, etc.) and Matthew Rhys (Brothers & Sisters, etc.). Don't worry, you don't have to know who they are. Suffice it to say, they're pretty.

THE POINT is that she's writing this really gut-wrenching awesome story about two Brits stranded in the USNA. And, of course, when Ioan loses his job, the only way to save him is for Matthew to buy him. Kicking off a whole powder keg of complications.

But that's just the set up. What you need to know about this story is that the emotions are so thick you can't even cut them with a Ginsu knife. It's the story of a relationship on the brink of going down in flames, even though both people are trying their damndest to hang on and hold on. It's a story about really ugly, painful choices that are the best choices available to you...and they still may not be enough. It's a love story. With all the pain and glory that goes with it.

And it needs to be read.

Out of Joint 1

Out of Joint 2

Out of Joint 3 NEW!

Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Val Kilmer
Rating: Adult
Warnings: Slave fic. Implied BDSM. Too much art school in my youth.
Disclaimer