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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Metaquotes' LiveJournal:
- Should not rewrite SMTP response messages in LOLcat.
- There is no such error as 403.2 'Not Recommended'.
- There is no such error as 404.5 'Temporarily Misplaced'.
- There is such an error such as 418 'I'm A Teapot', however, this is not to be referenced in correspondence with customers.
- A properly configured mail server does not respond on port 25 with "220 go ahead punk ... make my day."
| Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 | |
| 2:18 pm | This one's kind of an old one. (Note: massive butthurt in the original post; I wanted to post it earlier. But life has it's way of taking a poor old woman away from the internet for a while.) From September, 2009, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bastian replies to my inquiry about what a furry is. In this post in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} wtf_inc.HERE is the thread. penisanus What is a furry?bastian http://www.anthrocon.org/about-furryFurries are like Trekies for animals, with less focus. I'm surprised I still remember what a Trekie is. |
| 2:47 am | I want to vacuum like an animal! ayeamspartacus knows there is nothing sexier than a man cleaning...Appropos of nothing, a random memory that made me laugh. One time in college, I was helping Sahona (the future Mrs. Spart) clean her dorm room because her parents were coming to visit. Sahona had stepped out for a moment and I was vacuuming. Her roommate, who was deaf, was alone with me in the room. "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asked. "Sure," I said. "Help me move your bed. I want to vacuum on that side of the room." She looked at me with a shocked expression for a split second. Then she glanced down at the vacuum cleaner and started giggling. When she was finally able to stop laughing, she explained to me that when you read lips, "vacuum" and "fuck you" look almost exactly alike. Her first interpretation of what I said was "Sure, help me move your bed. I want to fuck you on that side of the room." Definitely lost in translation. Context is friends locked and QWP in toto. |
| Saturday, November 21st, 2009 | |
| 10:36 pm | In ontd_political, commotion is going on about Sarah Palin's quote in her book, "If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?".And velocityofsound must ask a great question of philosophy:If God had not intended for me to punch Sarah Palin in the mouth, how come my fingers make a fist? QWP~ |
| 9:56 pm | raisedbymoogles works with animals... At work I spent half an hour blow-drying a bobcat. The bobcat was unappreciative. Context can has bandaid? |
| 3:45 am | Somebody likes her Bad Boys well-done. xenokattzorchestrates a Bad Boys vs. Byronic Heroes face-off: For the purposes of this comparison, I will replace "Bad Boy" with "Batman" and "Byronic Hero" with "Edward." - Batman will beat someone up for you. Edward will glare at the offender from behind his coiffed bangs. - Batman has scruff because he has better things to do than spend an hour in the bathroom gelling his hair (unless he's pretending to be Brucie). Edward angsts over his clothing choices for hours because it may inadequately express his SOUL-SEARING AGONY at being away from his - When Batman likes you, he gets in your face and says so then slams you up against a clean part of the Batcave and has his wicked, Kevlar way with you. When a Edward likes you, he breaks into your house to watch you sleep because he's too much of a pansy to just ask you out. - When Batman gets rejected, he internalizes, fights crime and becomes slathered in blood. When Edward gets rejected, he makes a playlist full of Simple Plan songs then cuts himself. ... Fine. Much as it pains me to do so, let's go with Wolverine = Bad Boy. - Wolverine has stubble. Edward has sparkles. - Wolverine has a dark mysterious filled with dubious moral actions and a lot of blood. LOTS. Edward has a sparkly, not-so-mysterious past filled with high school mortarboards and baseball. I mean, BASEBALL. REALLY. BASEBALL. It couldn't've been something remotely sexy like rugby or jujitsu or even American football. - After Wolverine realised he could never be with Jean Grey, he still loved her forever but moved on. And on. And on and on and on and on and thank goodness he has a healing factor because he'd have a scorching case of gonorrhea by now When Edward realised he couldn't be with Bella, he ran away from home and lived chastely, perhaps sleeping next to a pot of freesias and listening to the aforementioned Simple Plan playlist. - Wolverine's penis is alive. Edward's penis is undead. BELLA HAD SEX WITH A ZOMBIE PENIS EW EW EW EW. Maybe Byronic Heroes are for people who want Bad Boy Lite. They want the illusion of the Bad Boy but none of the follow through. Maybe they find Passive Aggressiveness terribly attractive. More likely, Edward is about that all-too understandable desire to be the centre of someone's world. I get that. I've never had a boyfriend and I don't look like Megan Fox so the chances of someone starting a war in my name are very slim. (Ha, ha, puns!) What I don't get is why choose Edward? He's a walking disco ball. Maybe the whole fantasy argument comes into play; what happens in your brain, stays in your brain but everyone (?) knows it's not real. Hey, maybe it's simply a matter of taste which no one can truly argue against. If this is true, the majority of the fault is not with Edward. It's with you. You, Twihards, have bad taste. In the end, I will always feel will superior because none of my fantasy boyfriends ever inspired a sparkling, necrophiliac dildo. Context includes RDJ love and TMI in retaliation to Sting's stalker anthem. |
| Friday, November 20th, 2009 | |
| 1:25 pm | The Woes of TruFen oselle takes on Bad Television and the Good Women Who Love Them: I swear to God, this fucking show makes me feel like I'm trapped in some sort of passive-aggressive abusive relationship. For five whole weeks, Show gives me nothing, insults my intelligence, bores me to tears, ridicules me in public and shits all over my feelings and then, then, just when I'm finally ready to change the locks on the worthless bastard, he turns up in my living room with candy and flowers and champagne and "I'm sorry baby, it'll never happen again" and "Please take me back, baby" and stands there looking all fucking sexy and what do I do, stupid twat that I am? I LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BACK IN. And the sonofabitch gives me one good roll and says "See ya in two months, toots," and leaves me here with an ashtray full of cigarette butts and dirty sheets and just enough of a taste of what to expect when he gets back that oh, he just fucking knows I'll be sitting right here waiting for him. PRICK. Context wants Supernatural to know she loves it and to please call her, baby! |
| Thursday, November 19th, 2009 | |
| 10:11 pm | When countries become people dazz has been watching Hetalia.Ireland: "Where the hell have you been?" England: "Busy, okay?! Me and America went over to Afghanistan's place. Trying to fix the place up, and it's taking longer than we'd thought. It's like the guy doesn't even want our help." Ireland: "Oh, sure, go off gallivanting around! Forget you have responsibilies here! What about our son, huh? What about little Northern Ireland? You're supposed to take him every weekend! It's all I can do to get you to take him for the holidays!" England: "Hey, I said I was busy, okay!" Ireland: "Oh sure, goofing off with your BFF America is busy!" England: "At least he understands me! At least I can leave him alone with Canada and not have to find out he's been blowing him up!" Ireland: "How dare you! I haven't laid a finger on Northern Ireland in ages! And don't think I haven't been tempted! He's an ugly little funny-speaking loser, just like his father! You know he still uses your money?!? I've been trying to get him to switch to the euro, but oh no, has to use pounds! He gets that from you, you know!" England: "Like you're one to talk about money, Little Miss Recession! You should hope you don't get your economy back, you'd just drink it, anyway!" Ireland: "HOW DARE Y-" America: "Yo, England! Ready to go paintball Iraq's house?! This is gonna be so- ....Heyyyyyy. Who's your cute friend?" Ireland: "Hello, handsome!" England: "Oh God!" America: "England didn't tell me he had such a... picturesque neighbour." Ireland: "He didn't tell me his friend was so... big and rugged." England: "Come on, man! Bro's before ho's!" America: "Hey, watch your mouth! There's a lady present!" Ireland: "To be sure, to be sure. Oh, begorrah and bless us, all the saints!" America: "She is so cute! XD" England: "Dude, she's just putting that on because she knows you're rich! She's only interested in you because you're a superpower! That's why she hooked up with me! She's a fuckin' bitch, man, trust me!" Ireland: "He so mean to me! And me a poor little famine-stricken orphan." America: "There, there, it's okay, I won't let him hurt you." England: "Oh God, again with the fuckin' famine story, Jesus! That was AGES ago! She wasn't even a real country back then! She didn't even have infrastructure! I had to pay for all that!" America: "Dude, knock it off! I won't tell you a second time." Ireland: "You're such a gentleman. A real decent nation. We don't get many of those over here." America: "You think? Everyone always tells me I go sticking my nose where it doesn't belong." Ireland: "Oh no, it's really nice that someone is that considerate. Do you... invest in a lot of less-developed countries?" America: "Just the pretty ones." Ireland: *giggle* England: "For crying out loud, man! She's a drunken, piss-poor nutsack with an inferiority complex and a violent streak a mile wide! If she were one of your own states, she'd be Alabama! America: "TO ME SHE'S PERFECT!" Ireland: "Never mind him. He's just jealous he's not a real superpower anymore like you." England: "You know her own brother moved upstairs from me just to get away from her?!" Scotland: "Leave me out of this." England: "Aw, fine, screw this! You two deserve each other anyway! Here, buy her a drink, she'll let you touch her Shannon airport, go ahead, it's on me! Just don't come crying to me when she tells you she's knocked up with a little terrorism-riddled shithole you'll have to pay to support! Come on, Wales! We're going paintballing!" Wales: "Ooh mye God, peeple're tolking t'mee, yay!" Context is here, as if I haven't quoted the whole thing anyway. |
| 9:15 pm | In response to the news article "Texas' gay marriage ban may have banned all marriages" lavenderfrost exclaims OMG WHERE'S JON STEWART?? WE NEED COMMENTARY! and then strikes a dramatic pose and utters... Two ideologies, not alike in dignity, in Fair Texas, where we lay our scene. From ancient argument springs forth new lulz, where civil fuckups make civil hands look really fucking stupid. From forth the fatal ballots of these two foes, many a pair of star-cross'd lovers lose their rights. 2005 Elections: WOOOOO DEMOCRACY YAAAAAAAAAY! LGBT Community: WE CAN HAS MARRIAGE NAO? Conservatives: NO. Liberals: ...identical or similar to marriage? OMGLOLWTF? Conservatives: LA ANYWAY. *goes about daily life ~~4 F*CKING YEARS LATER~~ Texas: O HAI I ACCIDENTALLY ALL YOUR MARRIAGES. IS THAT OKAY? Liberals: SO NICE OF YOU TO FINALLY CATCH UP. Context (QWP) is highly amused over the whole Lone Star State situation |
| 6:05 pm | In response to cleolinda's sugestion that the lesson guys should take from the popularity of the Twilight saga is "Try a little tenderness":
Context emphasizes that some behavior is more acceptable in books and movies than it is in real life. |
| 5:41 pm | smarriveurr Brings us the word we've all been waiting for. Quizzlefunk ('kwIz əl,f^nk) n. the sensation of discomfort experienced by language enthusiasts when reading an essay in defense of good writing which is itself plagued by poor grammar, awkward phrasing and obvious spelling errors. Context thinks yo shuold proofread you're work. (Locked and QWP) |
| 5:27 pm | felisdemens makes a profound statement about weaponry for a zombie apocalypse: Guns are a crappy long term solution to societal collapse. Unless you plan to start whittling your own bullets out of sticks after you run out. Context is QWP and has learned from the comments that apparently shotguns are better than rifles. |
| 3:40 am | skull_joke (edward_hyde) comments on the addition of a new teacher to xi_rpg: The learning process is greatly improved when you can't unsee anything that happened in the classroom. It's a scientific fact. Context is obviously fit for the public school system. I'm hoping an OOC comment made in an OOC comm by an RP journal is okay. Let me know if it isn't? |D |
| Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 | |
| 11:03 pm | karakael is bugged by unexpected housemates: You know, I don't really mind having to deal with 'skitterys' ... I live in a hundred year old house with poor drainage and ventilation that has been a college residence for most of its existence. Having crawly things is not all that surprising, and I'm dealing with it. I don't like dishwashers. I clean my own dishes, and generally do a better job. I don't complain when my housemates put my stuff in the dishwasher, just quietly pull everything out and wash it myself. So. Opening the door and finding skitteries in the dishwasher? Not. Okay. Not sure what I'm going to do about it. But. I'm going to have words with Archy and Gang. So Mr. Cockroach? There will be no remorse in my destruction unless I get a four page poem on my computer tomorrow morning begging me to leave my apple cores inside the house. No love, - K F-Locked, QWP, and here. |
| 11:03 pm | karakael is bugged by unexpected housemates: You know, I don't really mind having to deal with 'skitterys' ... I live in a hundred year old house with poor drainage and ventilation that has been a college residence for most of its existence. Having crawly things is not all that surprising, and I'm dealing with it. I don't like dishwashers. I clean my own dishes, and generally do a better job. I don't complain when my housemates put my stuff in the dishwasher, just quietly pull everything out and wash it myself. So. Opening the door and finding skitteries in the dishwasher? Not. Okay. Not sure what I'm going to do about it. But. I'm going to have words with Archy and Gang. So Mr. Cockroach? There will be no remorse in my destruction unless I get a four page poem on my computer tomorrow morning begging me to leave my apple cores inside the house. No love, - K F-Locked, QWP, and here. |
| 6:21 am | Fried Endings suitablyemoname on still legal methods of execution in certain US states:" "Your grandpa got fried on Yellow Mama" has a certain ring to it. "Your grandpa was injected with three substances plus an anaesthetic, and passed away quietly at some unspecified point in the next three to ten minutes" doesn't." QWP Ohnotheydi-int (political) |
| Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 | |
| 1:45 pm | Pairs well with a sauvignon blanc ms_octopus_lady, maître d'aquarium, is interrupted by a patron while serving dinner to the hermit crab in the mussel tank:Hermit crab: Om nom nom.Context leaves a generous tip. |
| 8:52 am | The baristas prepare for Christmas... And have field reports in the comments: warriorsmurf: It's like someone detonated an elf.floatingwhisper: lol I told my fellow shift no one was getting anything for Christmas because apparently someone transferred Santa's workshop into the store and then blew it up.dorkcore: It looks like a drag queen exploded all over the back hallway.cupenny: It looks like someone dusted a particularly sparkly vampire, here. |
| 7:49 am | I think there should be a website dedicated to screen shots of people taking Robitussin. Context has developed a permanent eye-twitch. |
| 6:59 am | Must not repost page-long list posts to Metaquotes. azurelunatic works in a call center. |
| Monday, November 16th, 2009 | |
| 9:49 pm | kittiekattie makes a new word Moniquill: Both participants in that exchange are known asshats, (name withheld) slightly less so. KittiKattie: *is the opposite of an asshat* KittiKattie: *is a headpants* Moniquill: hehehe KittiKattie: I move this word be made into wording. Headpants (hed-pantz), n. : The polar opposite of an asshat. An awesome person. Original post is here, but is metaquoted in its entireity. QWP. |