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Thursday, January 8th, 2009
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8:00 pm - 869
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12:56 am - 868
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| Wednesday, January 7th, 2009
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4:44 am
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Brain imaging studies haven't turned up a single area of the brain that seems to be at work during ejaculation
SO MALE BRAINS EXIST TO PREVENT THEM FROM JIZZING ALL THE TIME?
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(5002 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
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11:19 am - 866
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"YOUR MAJESTY, WE'VE CAUGHT SIGHT OF...OH."
EDMUND BOLTED UPRIGHT, FUMBLING WITH THE BEDCOVERS AS REEPICHEEP PAUSED BY THE CABIN DOOR.
"REEPICHEEP," EDMUND SAID, FLUSTERED, "I WAS JUST, I MEAN, I WAS..."
REEPICHEEP STILL HAD HIS EYES AVERTED WHEN HE REPLIED. "NO, THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT, SIRE. I'M SORRY. I SHOULD HAVE CHECKED THAT YOU WEREN'T...OCCUPIED."
EDMUND'S FACE WAS FLAMING. HE DIDN'T THINK HE'D EVER BEEN MORE MORTIFIED IN HIS LIFE, INCLUDING THE TIME HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY TO ONE OF THE DANCERS AT THE FOURTH ANNIVERSARY OF THE DEFEAT OF THE WHITE WITCH.
"NO, IT'S FINE, THAT'S FINE, REEPICHEEP," HE MUMBLED. HE WAS NEVER GOING TO COME AGAIN IN HIS LIFE. IT WAS WORSE THAN BEING AT SCHOOL, WHERE AT LEAST THE OTHER FELLOWS IGNORED YOU AS LONG AS YOU WERE SUBTLE ABOUT IT. "I SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN SO INDULGENT. WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR?" HE HOPED REEPICHEEP WOULD LEAVE AFTER DELIVERING HIS MESSAGE, SO HE COULD GET DRESSED IN PEACE.
"INDULGENT, SIRE?" REEPICHEEP INQUIRED. "I DON'T THINK IT'S INDULGENCE. AFTER ALL, EVERYONE NEEDS TO BLOW OFF A LITTLE STEAM NOW AND THEN, DON'T THEY?"
EDMUND JUST STARED AT HIM. "WHAT?"
"I'M JUST SAYING," REEPICHEEP SAID, CLOSING THE DOOR. "MAYBE I CAN HELP."
"WHAT?" EDMUND REPEATED, BUT REEPICHEEP WASN'T LISTENING. HE APPROACHED EDMUND WHILE EDMUND STARED ON, DUMBFOUNDED, AND TUGGED AT THE BEDCLOTHES.
"ALLOW ME, YOUR MAJESTY. PLEASE."
EDMUND DID, MOSTLY BECAUSE HE DIDN'T THINK HE WAS CAPABLE OF DOING MUCH MORE THAT STARE AT THAT MOMENT. REEPICHEEP WAS BIG FOR A MOUSE, BUT STILL SMALL COMPARED TO A HUMAN. IF EDMUND HADN'T BEEN SITTING DOWN, HE DOUBTED REEPICHEEP WOULD HAVE REACHED IN ORDER TO DO WHAT HE DID, WHICH WAS REACH OUT AND TAKE EDMUND'S COCK IN BOTH PAWS.
"OH GOD," EDMUND SAID, EYES ROLLING BACK. IT HAD BEEN TOO LONG SINCE ANYONE HAD TOUCHED HIM APART FROM HIMSELF; TOO LONG AND A LIFETIME, A TRIP BACK TO EARTH AND A SECOND ADOLESCENCE. REEPICHEEP'S HANDS WERE SMALL, BUT HIS GRIP WAS FIRM. EDMUND JUST SLUMPED SIDEWAYS ON THE BED, BREATH COMING FASTER NOW. HE COULD FEEL REEPICHEEP'S FUR BRUSHING AGAINST HIS LEG.
EDMUND SHIFTED HIS HIPS A LITTLE AND REEPICHEEP RESPONDED BY STROKING HIM FASTER. EDMUND MOANED. IT FELT INCREDIBLE. IT HAD BEEN SO LONG, HE WAS ALREADY READY TO ORGASM. "REEPICHEEP," HE WARNED, BUT THEN HE FELT A SMALL, SLENDER TONGUE BRUSH OVER THE HEAD OF HIS COCK AND THAT WAS IT. HE MOANED LONG AND LOUD AS REEPICHEEP STROKED HIM THROUGH IT.
"UGH," EDMUND SAID ARTICULATELY, COLLAPSING FULLY ONTO THE BED. HE CRACKED AN EYE OPEN AT REEPICHEEP, WHO WAS SMILING SMUGLY.
"I'LL LET YOU CLEAN YOURSELF UP," HE SAID, WALKING BACK TO THE DOOR. "CASPIAN WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT WE'VE SPOTTED LAND."
"VERY WELL, REEPICHEEP," EDMUND MANAGED. "AND REEPICHEEP," HE ADDED AS THE MOUSE TURNED TO GO, "THANK YOU."
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(5004 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 5th, 2009
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12:32 pm - 865
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FOR THE LAST TWO PAGES I WAS THINKING THAT THE BECHDEL TEST WAS THAT THING WHERE AN AUTHORITY FIGURE ORDERS YOU TO TORTURE SOMEONE WITH ELECTRICAL SHOCKS. IT MADE THE THREADS A LOT MORE INTERESTING.
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(5481 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 4th, 2009
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12:32 am - 864
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| Saturday, January 3rd, 2009
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2:41 am - 863
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| Thursday, January 1st, 2009
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2:41 pm - 862
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| Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
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8:26 pm
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TODAY ON THE WAY HOME, THIS ASSHOLE KEPT ON LOOKING BACK TO STARE AT ME. HE'S DONE THIS BEFORE A FEW TIMES SO TODAY I DECIDED TO STARE BACK.
EACH TIME HE LOOKED AT ME, I GAVE HIM MY BEST SUBWAY STARE. AT ONE POINT, HE GAVE ME A STUPID :D FACE AND WAVED AND I JUST STARED RIGHT BACK.
I WAS LIKE THIS MEME: :</FONT SIZE=7?I
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(5339 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 30th, 2008
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9:53 pm - 860
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MEGAUPLOAD IS BEING SUCH A BITCH. I WANTED TO DOWNLOAD THIS SHOW WITH AN AWESOME PERSON IN IT BUT THE VERIFICATION CODE IS BEING SHITTY AND REJECTING WHAT I PUT IN. >:(
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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(5001 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 29th, 2008
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10:29 pm - 859
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SCHEDULED GUESTS ON ABC'S "JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN LIVE," JANUARY 5-9
"Jeffrey Dean Morgan Live" airs every weeknight (12:05-1:05 a.m., JDM), following "Nightline" and features a diverse lineup of guests that includes Jeffrey Dean Morgan and other people.
Following are the episodes scheduled to air the week of January 5-9 (subject to change):
January 5 (JDM 11/14)
Some people
January 6
A guy
January 7
1. A guy who is not Jeffrey Dean Morgan
2. Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan ("Grey's Anatomy")
3. Another guy who is not Jeffrey Dean Morgan
I'M SORT OF JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN TO SEE THIS. :D:
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(5002 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, December 28th, 2008
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11:57 pm - 858
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9:02 am - 857
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Gaston woke up to the sun shining through the window, birds singing, LeFou humming to himself as he cooked Gaston's breakfast, and had the same thought he always had when he first awoke: "God, I'm gorgeous."
He tumbled out of his bed and began to make his way over to the mirror as he usually did, to make sure his first thoughts of the morning were as true as they always did. He heard a strange sound and stopped. The sound stopped too.
He shrugged and began to move again. He heard the sound again. Frowning, he looked around his room, up at the ceiling, then down at the ground under his feet.
Except they weren't feet anymore.
Where two large, beautiful feet had once been, two grossly dirty hooves had taken their place. Alarmed, Gaston looked at himself in the body-length mirror at one end of the room and discovered the truth: He had grown hooves.
"LEFOU," he cried. "LEFOU!"
"Yeah, Gaston?" LeFou called cheerfully up the stairs.
"LEFOU, GET YOUR IDIOTIC ASS UP HERE," Gaston said. "I'VE TURNED INTO A GODDAMN HORSEMAN."
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(5003 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 26th, 2008
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8:53 pm - 856
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| Thursday, December 25th, 2008
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11:35 pm - 855
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| Wednesday, December 24th, 2008
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11:13 pm - 854
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ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF MEMESMAS, MY FLIST GAVE TO ME
TWELVE TINS OF TOMATOES
ELEVEN BEARS A-DRIVING
TEN TEENIES TOS'ING
NINE weenis MARQUEES
EIGHT FOOTS A-HATTING
SEVEN MODS A-REIZII
SIX &PATTI;S PEGGING
FIVE RAPINGSTEENS!
FOUR NAILBATS
THREE CUDDLERAYS
TWO, YOU SICK FUCK
(ALL TOGETHER NOW!)
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(5036 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 22nd, 2008
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10:22 pm - 853
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MEME BASICALLY IS THE CAST OF FATHER TED.
RANDOM MEMERS ASKING WHETHER THINGS LIKE FEMALE DOGS EXIST, A DRUNK MEMER THAT JUST OCCASIONALLY WAKES UP TO ANGILY SHOUT THE SAME THREE WORDS OVER AND OVER BEFORE A MOD RESTRAINS THEM, ALMOST AGGRESSIVELY LAMBCHOPPY MEMERS THAT PROBABLY WOULD OFFER YOU TEA IF YOU WERE THERE.
I SUPPOSE BISHOP BRENNAN WOULD BE THE ADMIN THAT WOULD PREFER IT IF WE WEREN'T HERE.
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(5002 comments | comment on this)
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12:23 am - 852
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| Sunday, December 21st, 2008
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9:02 am
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WHEN I WAS LITTLE MY FRANDS AND I WOULD PLAY BEANIE BABY SOAP OPERA. WE WOULD GATHER ALL OUR BEANIE BABIES TOGETHER AND HAVE THEM ACT OUT ALL SORTS OF SORDID AND RIDICULOUS THINGS. THEY ALL LIVED AND WORKED IN THE SAME TOWN.
THE LADYBUG BEANIE BABY WAS THE LOCAL THERAPIST, BUT HER ANSWER TO EVERY PROBLEM WAS SUICIDE. SOME OTHER BEANIE WOULD COME IN ALL, "IDK, I'M FEELING A LITTLE DOWN," AND SHE WOULD JUST BE LIKE, "YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KILL YOURSELF" :/
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(5102 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 20th, 2008
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2:50 am - 850
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It has been reported that some victims of Internet addiction, during the act, would retreat into a fantasy world from which they could not escape. In this fantasy world, the victim behaved very much like normal Internet users, with one critical difference: they believed obnoxious trolling behavior was somehow acceptable. The only way that they realized they needed to STOP TROLLING is by receiving explicit instructions on this point. These instructions would explain that trolls are not nearly as funny as they imagined themselves to be, and that Internet message board trolls should STOP TROLLING immediately. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to leave the fantasy world of their parents' basement and STOP TROLLING.
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(5000 comments | comment on this)
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