You know what we need? That Hundred Things Meme.

I’ve apparently done 41 of the things on this list. I’ve got most of the Euro-centric ones down, but am hampered by not having been to the States. Stupid north-o-centric meme; where’s my things like “Visited the Great Barrier Reef” and “Climbed Uluru”? Not that you’re supposed to or anything, but still!

Anyway, full list behind the jump. Booyah!

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Picked this one up randomly and thought it was kinda cute…

1. The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it: Doctor Who. Fuck you, Moffat.
2. The old flame you don’t see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets: The X-Files. Or at least the first four-ish seasons thereof. Adored them at the time (I had the books, the trading cards, the diary), and while the old spark has gone, it’s nice to sometimes pick it back up again and remember the good times.
3. The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Fuck you, Joss. You had a good thing going until you got over-confident.
4. The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you’d still really like to fuck again although you’re relieved he doesn’t actually live in town: Twin Peaks. This is the the only thing David Lynch has ever done that I’ve ever thought was worth the reels it was filmed on. I think it’s probably because the format forced him to be a bit more narrative and a bit less fucking pretentious.
5. The steady: Law & Order. I could just… sit down and watch these all day. Have, in fact. Jack McCoy is, like, my #1 Fictional Hero.
6. The one you repeatedly cheat on your steady with: Law & Order: SVU. Up until the last season or so — and after Jerry Orbach passed away — I loved the core cast more. Munch and Fin particularly. I haven’t been so keen on the recent seasons, since they seem to be shifting to a more character- rather than event-focused show, but I have faith.
7. The alluring stranger whom you’ve flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with: Queer as Folk. It’s not really my genre, so eventually even the copious fanservice got kinda dull.
8. The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you’re just good buddies ’cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain’t: Dexter. It’s good and I like it… but watching it leaves me with this niggling feeling that it’s less clever than it thinks it is, which keeps from from, like, like liking it.
9. The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it’s never really gone anywhere: Smallville. Okay, “cool” might be an overstatement, but there are enough good concepts in this sorry excuse of a show for me to want to like it… but I just can’t. This has, unfortunately, forced me into a Clois-style love triangle with the show’s much slicker, sexier, better-written and more canonically consistent fandom alter-ego. Irony.
10. The one you slept with on the rebound who still smiles at you, yet you have no interest in any more: Angel. The rebound being, of course, Buffy. As with that, I loved it until I realise the creator was a toolbox.
11. The one who’s slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, “Him? How the hell did he land all these cool babes?”: Torchwood. I just… don’t get it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been a fan of Captain Jack.
12. The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you’d be happy for her except you just know it’s going to end badly: Heroes. Another series that thinks it’s a lot fucking cleverer than it actually is. I’ve found, as a general rule of thumb, that the more you read “real” comic books, the less you’re likely to enjoy this show. I put it down to the fact that it’s not presenting us with anything new… it’s just that not a lot of people realise that.

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I’m feeling restlessly creative.

Help me channel it, people! Give me a scene or plotbunny from a fandom or even an original series and watch as I attempt (or maybe not) a drabble (or possibly art) from it. Booyah.

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You know what I did the other day? Batch scripting. Yanno, like bash in *NIX but ten thousand times more retarded. In a nutshell, what I had to do was look for the last modified date on a specific file in every subfolder in a directory, and if it was older than a certain date, delete it. The extra stipulation was that the program should be able to be run both in “check only” and “active” mode.

It took me about a day to figure it out, but in the end I got:

( Read more... )
... wow. The script is crazy inefficient, and I'm sure I program DOS like someone who's used to Perl, but... hey, it worked. And lo, I acquired a new skill.

Next step: VBScript. Shudder.

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Trufax: There's some chick who regularly pops up on Mat's Vent with the most irritating, lilting valleygirl accent in the entire universe. Every time she speaks I want to punch the speakers.

That's... probably not good, hey?

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Stolen from severedscythe.

Put your media player on shuffle, and write down the first line of the first twenty songs. Post the poem that results. The first line of the twenty-first is the title.

This is the Way You Left Me

When there’s nowhere else to run…

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light
You woke up this morning
I’m the bonecracker
Shut your mouth

I’ve seen it with my own eyes…

Beautiful girl, lovely dress
The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling
There’s so many things I like about you, I…
Laid back

If I could escape…

Will those feet in modern times
Now I’m a seasick sailor
I’m not a man, I’m a machine
I just don’t wanna be lonely

When they finally come to destroy the Earth…

Going down a hard road (just don’t know)
Keep you in the dark you know they all pretend
I cried on my blood day
Jimmy Brown, made of stone

Check it out. That’s… almost narrative. Bonus points to whomever can tell me what the songs are.

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Trufax: I should be working on the next bugfix/minor feature release for JournalPress, as well as putting the finishing touches on the template here at β. I’m not… massivley keen on it, but it was an experiment in making a “painted” layout and I think some of the concepts work, if not the overall design.

I was gonna get stuck into both these things yesterday, but we had a Work Emergency and (alas) I’m the one on call.

Shit. That just reminded me I have to do work this afternoon, too. Fucksticks.

I want my weekend back.

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Stolen from severedscythe. Because memes are cool.

1. Go to your bookshelf and take the 6 in from the left.
2. Post the title of the book in your subject bar.
3. Go to page 136, the 3rd paragraph, 3rd sentence and post it here.

Since it didn't specify which shelf on which bookshelf…

Occasionally, the business of discovering the knowledge of the ancients is better pursued under cover of darkness than with a lantern proudly outstretched to dispel the shadows of ignorance.

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Fun fax I learnt yesterday; vs.hive does not work on IIS. Well. There you go.

Mirrored from v-s.net. Comments are preferred on the original.

Mirrored from v-s.net. Comments are preferred on the original.

So dad rings me up last night and says, "We've got a letter for you here from the US. It's about a court case."

What. The. Fuck?

Thankfully, my first panic (oh gnoes, the piracy police!) was incorrect, and instead it turns out I'm named as a Member in a Class Action against ValueClick/Commission Junction. There's a website with more information, but in a nutshell I have the option to either withdraw myself from the Class or not. Despite what idiots on the 'net will try and whinge about, the only real reason you'd withdraw from the class is if you wanted to pursue separate legal action against the company, and the only reason you'd do that was if you thought you had something more to gain by suing them privately.

I don't. I can't imagine how I got nominated as a Member of the Class – probably signed up with someone else who used CJ to manage their referral program – but by doing absolutely nothing at all, the only impact it will have on me is the vague possibility that I might end up with a cheque for some nominal sum of money (no less than US$1) at some point. Unlikely, but the chance of free money is still free money.

Mildly amusing, either way.

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So many things to do, so little time. I have that character-letter meme to do, care of jen-in-japan, but for the moment I think I'm going to do something else. Since my updates have gotten so infrequent, I figure the downtime is perfect for a guessing meme. So here it is: the opening lyrics to fifteen songs from my iPod. You guys guess what they are (no Google!). Ready? Go!

1. Gnarls Barkley, "Gone Daddy Gone" (raaven)
   Beautiful girl, lovely dress
   High school smiles, oh yes
   Beautiful girl, lovely dress
   Where she is now I can only guess
2. Gwen Stefani feat. Akon, "The Sweet Escape"
   If I could escape
   I would, but first of all let me say
3. Jimmy Brown
   Made of stone
   Charlie Clown
   No way home
4. I just don't wanna be lonely
   'Cause the lights, were shining ever so bright
5. This is the way you left me, I'm not pretending
6. I can feel the Earth is moving
   When the clock strikes twelve it's time to go out
7. I cried on my blood day
   There was nothing that I could hold on to
   Just a line could have helped
   Remind me of you, of you
8. Put your finger on a map
   And that's where I am
   Draw a picture of the world
   And that's where I am
9. Foo Fighters, "The Pretender"
   Keep you in the dark, you know they all pretend
   Keep you in the dark and saw it all begin
10. The White Stripes, "Seven Nation Army" ( randomredux)
    I'm gonna fight 'em all
    A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
11. It's not my fault, it can't be my fault
    That you speak to me that way you do
    Now I'm split in two, I'm half me and half you
    But I hate us both, don't you?
12. OK Go, "Invincible" ( severedscythe)
    When they finally come to destroy the Earth, they'll have to go through you first
    (I bet they won't be expecting that)
    When they finally come to destroy the Earth, they'll have do deal with you first
    And now my money says they won't know about the
    thousand Fahrenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes
13. The Killers, "All These Things That I've Done" ( gnosis)
    When there's nowhere else to run
14. I've seen it with my own eyes
    How we're gettin' otherwise
    Without the luxury of leavin'
15. Shut your mouth
    My mother said

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Meme time! Stolen from svgurl.

Name a character and I'll tell you three (or more) facts about them from my own personal pseudo-canon.

Go!

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Oh yeah, that was the other thing.

I got a couple of people telling me last Friday about this second review at PSGR. It was suggested to me that the reviewer may have had prior issues with butthurt. Well, I dunno about that but I vaguely remembered the name and, oh look, here she is. So I'm not sure if it counts, but my one and only history with Mallory seems to be that I wouldn't allow her to use my blog's comments as a platform for her to attack ~Jem [h]. Scandalous, I know.

Still, all publicity is good publicity, and inspiring strong emotions is what the artist in me likes to do. Honestly, apathy bothers me more than a negative reaction.

The one thing that interests me about Mallory's review, however (she had one good point about something, but I kinda forgot what it was in the midst of all the, "Do it more like I want!" foot-stamping), is that she's jumping off from a fundamentally flawed platform. I've said it before and I'll say it again:

I don't maintain this site for other people.

I maintain it for me. I blog for me. I create layouts that please me. I add and discard content according to what I think reflects, well, me. The reason I work so hard on the backend when I could just use WordPress? Because sk.log amuses me. The reason I use my own art in my layouts? Because it was made… by me. I could go on but I think you get the point; this is a personal domain. It's about me, not about you. Sure, you visit and I try and make your stay comfortable but, ultimately, my content is me (and, to a lesser extent, my interaction with you).

So here's a protip: If you have an opinion on my site, and it's starts with the assumption that the primary reason it exists is to please you… you're wrong.

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In other news; I got my first Sharpie marker! These things are so lulz. I'm totally going to keep it in my bag and use it to graffitti on the walls of public toilets…

… or maybe just write on blank CDs. Something like that.

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Ganked from tsu-chan55. Because I Like That Sort of Thing.

Look at your LJ userpics list. If you have fewer than 50 icons, pick every fifth one. If you have between fifty and seventy-five icons, pick every seventh one. If you have over seventy-five icons, pick every tenth one. If you have fewer than ten, pick all of 'em. List them on your LJ, and tell everyone exactly why you have it, why it's interesting to you, what significance does it have.

Quoted From: The LJ Icon Meme

It's my default user pic! Actually, it's the Dark Knight version of my default userpic, as vandalised by randomredux. The green lady used as the base is me in that "har har look ma I'm drawing" kind of way that nothing I draw actually ever looks like me. I don't really have green hair and lips in real life, just in case you were curious. Also, the Joker is luff (in that "oh gods I'm glad he's not real" kind of way).

Johnny Depp in From Hell. This was originally a dA icon, which is why it's so small. It's also the first animated icon I made from a video. I'm sure there's a better process than the one I use to do this, which kinda involves taking screenshots every frame or so, pasting them into PhotoShop and exporting the sequence through ImageReady. Still, whatever works.

The thing about Loki, see, is that he doesn't sleep; it's one of the biological functions he "lost" after his time in The Cave. He occasionally mentions that he gets tired, but I don't think I've ever gone into the mechanic of what he does instead of sleeping; instead just kinda writing it off as Magic God Voodoo. The image used for this icon is called, IIRC, "Not to Sleep But To Dream". It's done in Derwent Artist's pencils on brown paper. I used to work on it when I was idling in AV earning Frostwolf rep.

You know, I don't think I've ever actually used this icon. I need to get into more flame wars or something. Also: Snape rules, Happy Potter sucks. (Then Snape also sucked when he got that really lame backstory… but la la la mental retcon.)

Apollo from The Authority. I ganked this one off severedscythe like a billion years ago. I think it's mandatory that I have a "WTF?"-style icon for every fandom I have icons for. I have similar ones for Warcraft, the DCU and Smallville. I guess there's just a lot of WTF on the internet that needs iconising.

Oh Lex, you're so bad! This one was made by sluggirl and stolen from scans_daily. And that's terrible is one of those phrases I try and slot into every day conversation as much as possible. Unfortunately, it's not quite as multi-purpose as my other all-time favourites, WRONG! (Superman Returns), Fail! (the bastard child of Lex Luthor and /b/), It's true, it's true. (one of Kurt Angle's old WWE catchphrases) and That's right. ("Stutter Rap").

This is toddler Jenny Quantum from one of the Lobo/Authority crossovers; I conveniently forget which one. I love these books not so much for the stories but for the totally off-the-wall art. Our dear friend Jenny here, for example, is, in fact, Singaporean. Midnighter pops up looking like a cross between Johnny Depp and an 80's glam rockstar (for the record, he's supposedly a redhead), and the stuff Angie does is… just amazing. So yeah, the art's crazy. But – in the same way that I love Sam Keith's similarly distinctive style – it works for me.

It says you're doing it wrong in Kryptonian. Because you never know when you might need such a helpful phrase. The official story is that I originally made the translation for a UIP-verse futurefic fragment in which Kal-El attempts to teach Bruce how to use Kryptonian cutlery. The real reason is that translating memes was the whole reason I learnt Kryptonian in the first place…

By wastednickel. I don't really have a story for this one, only that, a) this song is the best song in the universe, and b) grammar is srs bizness.

Made by sepiamagpie. This icon causes me extreme lulz because, well, it has vampires, homoerotiscism and blasphemy! It's like the Holy Trinity of Awesome, all wrapped up in one 100x100 pixel square. The image itself also drives me completely nuts on account of the fact that I want to know where the images comes from. Purple Shirt guy kind of looks like Tom Welling but I might be delirious… Either way, Jesus looks awfully intent on his groping there.

So. There you go.

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Who remembers that fic-line meme from the other day? cathedral-junki apparently does. Alas, I apparently forget that the quote, Not just a little bit; catastrophically, planet-smashingly, incalculably, crap-where-are-the-paddles wrong. comes from "The Worst Time-Travel Fic in the Fandom".

Oh well.

So here you go, cathedral-junki; your Sigki pr0n drabble. Okay, it's strictly-speaking, a) not pr0n (I like to think it's "tastefully vague"), and b) not a drabble (it's 161 words), but… um. Enjoy?

( The first thing is the heat. )

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Things I have learnt:

1. I am bad at Sigmund/Loki pr0n. Oddly enough, it's always something I've thought I'd leave up to the fanficcers; and
2. I am terrible at drabbles.

Amazing.

P.S. The game's still open, if anyone else wants to play…

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