lookie what I have for youuuuuu

lol_meme
2006-08-27 09:45 pm UTC (link)

There was a panda in the science lab.

John had been stuck in this galaxy and on this job for long enough that it really shouldn't have surprised him, he supposed. Pandas in the lab were nothing compared to the incident with the things-that-were-not-frogs, all things considered. But what was really weird, what was really making his head hurt even more than it usually did, was the fact it was wearing a uniform.

It also seemed kind of familiar. Mostly because he thought he might recognize what it was wearing, but there was also something about the position as it slumped in front of a table, the roundness of its form, that John could swear he'd seen before. Just. Not quite so furry at the time.

Then the panda turned to glare at him, and he made the connection, and blurted, "Rodney?"

"Not one damn word," the panda--McKay--snarled, turning back to the lab work spread in front of it. His voice was inexplicably exactly like Rodney's had always been, despite the fact by all logic it shouldn't have been. "Not one. Damn. Word."

"I--"

"THAT WAS A WORD." McKay--the panda--hunched in on himself a little. "Like you've never had something go horribly awry and stranded you in another form."

John decided not to point out he hadn't, actually, and somewhat cautiously approached around to where he could see McKay's face. Nose. Whatever. "So... asking you what happened would probably be a bad idea, right?"

The McKay panda glared some more at him. It was kind of... it was sort of....

"What do you think?" McKay snapped.

Okay, John thought. Actually it was kind of hot.

He blinked. He'd known about the bi thing, but the furry kink was new.

"What?" McKay said again, in a tone that had just the slightest hint of panic under the anger, and John realized he'd been staring wide-eyed a little too long.

"Nothing," he said, swallowing. "Not a thing. Are you-- I mean, you've got some idea how to fix it, right?"

There was a pause, and then the panda shifted a bit and looked away. "Not really a clue," McKay finally said, voice a bit hoarse.

"Oh." John paused and fiddled with the edge of some papers on the table. "Well. I guess--"

"I'm a FREAK!" Rodney abruptly wailed. "It wasn't bad enough I was always the geeky unattractive scientist, but now I'm the geeky unattractive scientist PANDA! Why couldn't this have happened to someone who deserved it, like Kavanagh? I'm never gonna get laid now."

Despite being momentarily diverted by the thought of Kavanagh as a panda, John dragged his attention back to the present, took a deep breath, and made the plunge.

"I wouldn't say that."

Rodney stared at him for a moment and then quickly backpedaled, or as quickly as a panda can, anyway. "You--you'd fuck a PANDA? That's SICK."

"HEY!" John protested, stung. "You were the one wailing about never getting sex for the rest of your life. Recognize an opportunity when it's there."

McKay stared at him for a minute, and John crossed his eyes and glared back.

"Okay, fine," McKay finally snapped. "But I get to be on top."

John just smirked. By the time he pointed out that the logistics of that weren't possible or safe, Rodney would already be too hot and bothered to care.

Victory was his, and it tasted sweet, like bamboo.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: lookie what I have for youuuuuu m_butterfly 2006-08-28 12:10 am UTC (link)
	Eee! (Reply to this)(Parent)