The Eleven Wank Commandments

Thou shalt misunderstand the statements of others completely.
Should thine opponent use Wikipedia, thou shalt dismiss it, claiming that anyone can edit it. Should one use Wikipedia, thou shalt use it as thine only support, regardless of how many relevant online resources one can use.
Thou shalt accuse one's opponent of "misunderstanding" thine argument(s), especially when said argument(s) has been soundly defeated.
Thou shalt post on thine blog or Livejournal about the wank. Should the journal be friends-locked, the post shalt be unlocked.
Should there be a post on *_wank, or any other snark community, thou shalt show up and defend thyself. After thine are pwned, thou shalt retreat to thine own journal and link to the *_wank post, while describing its commenters as losers, people with nothing better to do, or both.
Thou shalt use strange, bizarro-definitions of words and phrases. If thou wishes, thou shalt contradict thyself. Thou shalt also refer to an opponent's refutation of thine point as "proving my point".
Wheresoever thine grammar is criticized, thou shalt sieze upon any error in thine critic's grammar, and thereby dismiss the critique. The error need not be real.
Thou shalt never admit defeat, and continue wanking until the post is deleted or replies are frozen. Thou may then continue the wank at thine leisure at the post in thine journal.
Should a post of thine cause wank, thou shalt 'clarify' thine intent with edits to the original post. And the number thereof be of inverse proportion to the validity of one's original post.
Wheresoever one art cornered, one shalt claim thine opponent is judging thee, the arguement, or they that are under discussion.
If thou shalt leave the wank, though shalt return at a later date to defend thy argument.

Thus spake God to

mcity.
Contibutions accepted.
EDIT 27Jan06: Spelling corrected.
EDIT Mar 26th 06: Added 11th. Amended 10th and fourth.

(Post a new comment)

	shallow_kid 2006-01-26 07:40 am UTC (link)
	Hmm ... I think that about covers it. Plus, I'm a sucker for anything biblical sounding. (Reply to this)

	suziecroft 2006-01-26 03:26 pm UTC (link)
	After thine are pwned Shouldn't it be "thou art pwned"? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	mcity 2006-01-26 04:48 pm UTC (link)
	THIS ART NOT THE GRAMMAR ERROR THOU ART LOOKING FOR. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	allison 2006-01-26 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	Aww...you violated the 7th commandment. God hates you. :( (Reply to this)(Parent)

	emiweebee 2006-01-27 01:43 am UTC (link)
	Mainly OT, but I just heard (on the RADIO! So it's so valid!) that Wikipedia averages...like five errors per entry? Encyclopaedia Brittanica averages three per entry. And Wiki is apparently cutting down it's errors. So it's actually fairly reliable. And I will bust this out next time someone wanks about Wikipedia being unreliable. (Reply to this)

	yadda 2006-01-27 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	Commandaments. (Reply to this)

	lots42 2008-06-12 11:07 am UTC (link)
	I wonder how deep Rule 7 can go before typos are not made. (Reply to this)