furbashing Jonn Wood

Wankitywank bingo

eggrolljonn@gmail.com — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 23:12:36 GMT

The following applies to any instance a wanker replying/responding to a post anywhere on the Internet where they're mocked, whether in the comments or on their own site. It also applies to those responding in agreement with the original wanker.

B	I	N	G	O
"have no right"	"respect"	"these people are talking about you"	"they can dish it out, but they can't take it"	"hateful"
"just jealous"	"tries hard"	"nobody's perfect"	"insecure"	"behind your back"
"judgemental"	"just their opinion"	FREE	"just stupid"	"nothing better to do"
"you/they can't criticise unless you/they can"	"can't appreciate"	"high school"	"thanks for the hits!"	"small-minded"
"not worth my attention/time"	"don't care"	"can't handle reality/ job/ a relationship"	"just jaded/ biased/ bitter/ cynical"	"immature"

Ginmar bingo!

eggrolljonn@gmail.com — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 17:16:52 GMT

B	I	N	G	O
"equalists are cowards"	"anon commenters are cowards"	"I've explained this already"	"they can dish it out, but they can't take it"	"Faux news"
"men and women are not equal"	"patriarchy"	"men fear retribution"	"there's no such things as equalists"	"I WENT TO IRAQ!"
"vast feminist conspiracy" (sarcasm)	I can't listen to you because _____	FREE	MASS GRAVE	"Xtian"
"hypocrisy"	ALL CAPS	"my father was Jewish"	avoiding the question entirely	"victim"/ "victimization"/ "victimized"
"men are insecure"	"...in fear of men"	"submission"/ "submissive"	"male privilege"	OPRESSION

Any of the above also apply if any of her sycophants says it.

theWankers

eggrolljonn@gmail.com — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 20:02:32 GMT

theWankers is an illustrated (theoretically) guide to the various species of wankers.

Wahmbulatory[completed Feb 4 '06]

Uneref

Waxy Ears

Uneref

Well-Intentioned S*t Stirrer(WISS)

Submissions accepted.

The Eleven Wank Commandments

eggrolljonn@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 21:55:22 GMT

Thou shalt misunderstand the statements of others completely.
Should thine opponent use Wikipedia, thou shalt dismiss it, claiming that anyone can edit it. Should one use Wikipedia, thou shalt use it as thine only support, regardless of how many relevant online resources one can use.
Thou shalt accuse one's opponent of "misunderstanding" thine argument(s), especially when said argument(s) has been soundly defeated.
Thou shalt post on thine blog or Livejournal about the wank. Should the journal be friends-locked, the post shalt be unlocked.
Should there be a post on *_wank, or any other snark community, thou shalt show up and defend thyself. After thine are pwned, thou shalt retreat to thine own journal and link to the *_wank post, while describing its commenters as losers, people with nothing better to do, or both.
Thou shalt use strange, bizarro-definitions of words and phrases. If thou wishes, thou shalt contradict thyself. Thou shalt also refer to an opponent's refutation of thine point as "proving my point".
Wheresoever thine grammar is criticized, thou shalt sieze upon any error in thine critic's grammar, and thereby dismiss the critique. The error need not be real.
Thou shalt never admit defeat, and continue wanking until the post is deleted or replies are frozen. Thou may then continue the wank at thine leisure at the post in thine journal.
Should a post of thine cause wank, thou shalt 'clarify' thine intent with edits to the original post. And the number thereof be of inverse proportion to the validity of one's original post.
Wheresoever one art cornered, one shalt claim thine opponent is judging thee, the arguement, or they that are under discussion.
If thou shalt leave the wank, though shalt return at a later date to defend thy argument.

Thus spake God to mcity.
Contibutions accepted.
EDIT 27Jan06: Spelling corrected.
EDIT Mar 26th 06: Added 11th. Amended 10th and fourth.