megmurry @ 2005-11-19T03:05:00

2005-11-19T08:05:57Z

"Oh, before we go, I should clean up the evidence," Lily said, looking back at the warehouse.

"What are you going to do?" Dylan asked.

Lily pulled out a box of matches. "Gee, I dunno, but all these boxes sure look flammable."

"That's dangerous," he said.

"That's half the fun." Lily started walking back. "Are you going to tell me how I should be doing my job?"

Dylan realized this was not a battle he was going to win, so he just smiled. "Brigid's going to be disappointed she missed it."

"You guys come with, help me find enough flammable shit," Lily said. The Sisters followed, along with Alex and Alan. Dylan waited expectantly for Joan to follow, but she watched them go too.

"Not going with?" he asked her.

Joan shook her head. "It's... I don't like when she does the fire. When it's just matches, it's okay, it's cute even, but when she gets like she does... Magic changes people. It uses them as much as they use it."

"Oh?" Dylan asked, not wanting to press.

She shrugged, letting her hat slip down and shade her eyes. "I'm afraid someday it won't give her back, that's all."

They waited together. After a few minutes, there was a muffled noise like a pillow exploding, and a glow appeared in the distance. Joan found a payphone and called the fire department as the others ran toward them, laughing.

"Definitely brill," Zoe was congratulating Lily.

"You should have come," Alex told Dylan. "It was a great show."

"I've seen enough of people on fire today, I think," Dylan smirked.

Alan laughed. "Sure. When did you become such a goodie two-shoes?

"I think it goes with the collar," Celeste said.

"So wait," Dylan said as they walked away from the quickly growing fire. "I'm still waiting to hear how you two upstanding young men got run out of Arizona."

"Well, that's kind of a long story," Alan said.

"Not really. Psycho former roommate," Alex said.

"Oh, that'll work. He'll just ask what the story was with the psycho roommate in the first place."

"Will you?" Alex asked. Dylan nodded.

"See? Told you."

"Fine. You tell it."

"Well," Alan began, "it started when we moved in with this girl I used to know in high school. She seemed nice enough at first, but she started getting creepy pretty fast."

"Wait," Dylan interrupted. "Didn't you go to a high school for mentally unstable kids?"

Alex snickered. "That's what I asked when he first introduced me to her."

Alan glared. "It was for 'trouble teens,' no mental instability required."

"So you were just lucky?" Joan asked. Everyone laughed, including Alan after a few minutes.

"She did seem nice enough, though. She was very generous. She kept buying gifts for Alan, gave him a computer for his birthday, and she was always fawning over whatever he said." Alex said.

"So she had a crush on him?" Celeste asked.

"In retrospect, I guess, yeah," Alan said. "I didn't notice it at the time. I mean, she's not exactly on my radar, if you know what I mean."

Dylan snickered.

"Er, do you know what I mean?" Alan asked.

"Perfectly well," Lily told him. "I'm just not five like your friend the priest apparently is."

"Okay, then. Well, she started getting kind of clingy, and then she started screaming at me a lot about stupid things, like if I was upset she didn't put food away or something."

"That was when I threw sour cream at her!" Alex announced proudly.

"That... didn't help, as I recall," Alan pointed out.

"Yeah, but it makes a great memory all these months later," Alex said.

Alan sighed. "She got into a lot of fights with Alex, actually. Sometimes violent. She told us she was a goddess one day, and that was weird, but whatever. Krishna incarnated, why not her, right?"

"I dunno," Alex answered, turning away. "Dylan, you're a priest, you tell me: is the Whore of Babylon meant to be an incarnated goddess?"

"She's not a whore. Well, not technically. She was just a stripper who slept around a lot."

"So much better," Alex said with a roll of his eyes.

"Anyway, she starts trying to play me and Alex off of each other, making up stories about what each of us said to her about the other. It actually worked for a little while, I'm sad to say, but finally we confronted her on it."

"I'm getting nervous," Dylan said. "I haven't heard a reason you'd have to leave the country yet."

"We're getting to that," Alex assured me.

"So we confront her," Alan continued. "And she starts screaming at us, telling us to get out, and on, and on. We packed some of our stuff, but she called the police and, well, house was in her name. Out we went."

"I'm waiting for it." Dylan led them into the hotel lobby.

"Well, once we started going to the clubs without her hanging on, a lot of people suddenly had gossip and rumors to share. There was one about how she was a vampire. We ignored it at first, but she started getting blamed for girls disappearing off the streets, and her behaviour when she was out became more erratic."

"She was fucknuts, Alan. Just say it."

"She was erratic."

"Fuck. Nuts. You're just too nice."

"I'm not nice, Lexy. I'm diplomatic."

"Don't call me that. You know I hate it."

"What happened?" Dylan finally interrupted their bickering as the elevator opened. All seven of them piled in and he pushed the button.

Alan shrugged. "Oh, we tracked her down with the help of some hitchhiker from Cali and it turned out she was killing all those girls. Creepy shit, that was. She'd always had this obsession with those Anne Rice vampires. She was small and young-looking and liked to call herself Claudia. But bringing home girls and killing them because they were tall and curvy? And then leaving them in her bed?"

"And having wild lesbian sex with them," Alex added. Lily and Joan glared at him, but Alan just shivered.

"I'd tried to forget that mental image, thank you oh so very much, Lexy," Alan frowned and was the first off the elevator.

"Ew," was all the commentary Dylan could manage as he led them to the room. He motioned for them to be quiet and unlocked the door, slipping his head inside. "Brigid? Are you feeling better? I brought company over..." He stopped, seeing Brigid dressed in t-shirt and flannels curled up on her bed. She looked like she was sleeping, but she blinked and sat up.

"Dylan?"

"Yeah. You up to seeing people?"

"Sure, and don't I feel fine now," she said, pulling her feet in so she was sitting indian-style. Dylan held the door open for the Sisters and his former college buddies.

"Wow, instant party," she commented as everyone filed in, commenting on how nice a place their boss was springing for. "Should I order room service?"

"Go ahead. Alan and Alex were just telling me how they got run out of Arizona."

"Ah, I miss all the good stories, don't I?" she reached for the phone.

"Anyway, where was I?" Alan asked.

"Necropheliac lesbianism," Zoe prompted.

"Oh, right. So we break in--" Alan began again.

"We enter the vampire's lair."

"Same thing, Lexy."

"Stop that!"

"We break in to her house and it's seriously reeking from all the corpses and the cats all over the place, and she's got these two vamplets that we have to put down like rabid puma."

"Rabid... puma?" Zoe asked.

"It's a big cat," Alex answered.

"I know what a puma is," she said. "It's just a strange descriptor."

Alex shrugged and Alan continued. "So anyway, we get to her, and she's all 'rawr' except she's, you know, about five feet tall, so it's more like 'meow'. And then she called on her demon protector to save her, or some bullshit like that, and I think Alex and I actually laughed out loud."

"We did," Alex addded.

"Wait, demon protector?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," Alan snickered. "He was named like Plaid or something."

"Paisley?" Dylan prompted.

"Yeah, that might have been it. Yeah, I think that was it. And this Paisley guy didn't answer when she told him to smite us where we stood."

"Fucknuts," Alex said, shaking his head.

"She got all upset and screaming, but she didn't really fight. It was kind of pathetic, really. I think we put her out of her misery," Alan said with a tinge of regret.

"Yes, now she can go wash her fucknuts out in the Lethe and try it again," Alex snarked.

"Huh. That's two crazy, fiction-obsessed vampires answering to a demon named Paisley," Dylan mused.

"Two?" Celeste asked as the room service arrived.

He pulled out the card as everyone dug into the food. "Found this on Luke and Yan's desk. What the hell kind of demonic name is Paisley?"

Brigid picked up the card and read it over. "I think we need to tell Father Lucio about this."

"I agree," Dylan said. "As soon as we get back." He'd been told it was a standard vampire hunt. Demonic conspiracies? That still felt over his head. More over his head than vampire hunting, anyway.

"Everything taken care of here?" Brigid asked.

"Yeah, the wannabes are toast. Literally. Thank Lily for that."

"Fire? And I missed it?" Brigid pouted.

"I hear I missed some fire on your end today too, so all's fair," Lily said, sitting on the edge of Brigid's bed and handing her an open wine bottle.

Brigid looked at her sideways, sniffed the wine, and took a drink. "So, I ever tell you about the time I burned down a library?"

"No!" Lily giggled. "I ever tell you about the time I burned down a prep school mixer?"

"I can top that!" Alex announced. "Or really, Dylan can."

"I can not! You were the one who set Central Park on fire!"

"Oh, this I simply must hear," Lily said with a grin as Joan sat down next to her and positioned her head in her lap.

Just a thought...

2005-07-09T03:56:24Z

I have no idea how hard it is to install, but if JF had OpenID, couldn't FW keep the "anons who sign their LJ names" because they'd be signed in via OpenID, and get rid of the annoying mice?

But where on earth would I suggest that? petpeeves? fw_debate? Nowhere because it's too much work? =P

megmurry @ 2005-06-26T12:49:00

2005-06-26T16:50:04Z

... This is the actual prank, right?

Because that would actually be pretty funny.

megmurry @ 2004-12-17T19:04:00

2004-12-18T00:05:55Z

From the libertarianism community on LJ: Don’t get me wrong, I think it is odd that someone would have sex with a dog, but I don’t think it should be illegal.

200+ comments. Who says third parties can't wank with the big guys?

megmurry @ 2004-10-04T03:04:00

2004-10-04T07:04:46Z

Well, I was thinking about switching to a JF name that matched my LJ...

the artist formerly known as brigid

megmurry @ 2005-11-19T03:05:00

Just a thought...

megmurry @ 2005-06-26T12:49:00

megmurry @ 2004-12-17T19:04:00

megmurry @ 2004-10-04T03:04:00