she who is

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HP4 Nov. 18th, 2005 @ 08:49 pm
So I went to see the 11:59 showing of Goblet of Fire last night. Save me from the freakin' fangirls! God knows, I almost killed someone last night as it was. See, we got into the theatre no problem; I got our tickets from fandango (no IMAX for us). There was a line to get your ticket torn, no problem, and finding seats wasn't so bad with just two. But apparently the theatre we were in had some small projector / computer issues, because there was 3 minutes of "turn off your cell phone" and 3-4 minutes of black screen with audio. And I heard the girl next to me say something along the lines of "the people here aren't as much Harry Potter fans as they should be" meaning the techs ... and I just lost it. "Jesus fucking Christ," I say, looking over my shoulder at her, "what a stupid thing to say."

Naturally according to her I'm in the wrong for entering her private space -- never mind that the conversation was going on right fucking next to me.

And it was /still/ a stupid thing to say.

( yarr here there be spoilers )

I rather think I would like to see it again, though not soon and not paying so much and /not/ with fangirls omg fangirls. Tooooo many shippy moments.

Aug. 9th, 2005 @ 04:16 pm
I don't think I have /ever/ seen this much demented obsession -- no, I take that back. At the risk of being extremely wanky, watching [info]falconsolo's reaction to [info]angua9's essay on h/hr shipping is disturbingly like the religious arguments I remember having back in the day with the Christian fanatics. Are they going to bomb Rowling's house next, as a protest? It's like 9/11 in miniature in the HP online fandom.

And what I don't think these so called Harmonians get is that they are not, in fact, a particularly large subset of the fandom. Particularly loud, yes. Very. But there don't actually seem to be that /many/ of them; it's this fairly small, tightly-knit little group (small in a comparative sense, since the ron-hate and harmony-ship communities approximate several hundred people each). All of whom back each other up.

I know damn well I'm unwilling to listen to logic at times (I'm getting better). But I spent two posts getting into it with [info]falconsolo before I realised he was out for converts and not for debate, and proselitysers [sp?] aren't listening to what the opponent says, except insofar as they can refute it. He pounded that "show don't tell" shit into the fucking ground, and still doesn't seem to realise how much of a balancing act writing is. I could sit here and refute specific points all day long, and it would be just like arguing with a bible-thumper.

I'm a writer, okay? Not a super-great one; I really think I need a lot more work. But what this guy does, writes, says ... it's like Mark all over again. He's obssessed with his ideas, his theories, and his narcissism, and he won't back down until someone grovels. He's not a writer; he wants the fame and fortune. He's not in it for the beauty of the words, the ability to paint with language, or any of the other reasons to write. (Okay, my own ego is showing there.)

I like to read, but this element is precisely why I was leery of the Harry Potter books from the very beginning -- too popular. Too mainstream. I'm not fond of being involved with such things simply because they do tend to generate this kind of obsessive pseudo-philosophical bullshit, and in the strangest places.

The love between two of the three protagonists in a children's fantasy series is going to save the world.

Right.

the Gay Agenda and the Religious Reich Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 10:33 pm
Have you ever heard about how, when you discover a new thing, suddenly its everywhere? A word, an idea, an image, you see it once and actually notice it and then you notice it everywhere. There's a word for that, but it's more often called synchronicity -- and I'm having it.

Up until, I don't know, a week ago, I'd never even heard the phrase "Religious Reich" in my whole life. And I've been pagan for years. Now, in less than a week, I've found that not only has Issac Bonewits written an extensive and still reasonably accurate essay on it (back in 1996!), but evidence that trumps my scepticism is right in my own backyard.

You might or might not already know about this. I didn't know until Charis dropped it in my lap. You see, there's this brave, brave 16-year-old in Memphis (Bartlett, actually), who told his parents he was gay.

They promptly flipped.

They've sent him to a place called "Refuge," which from a quick perusal of the rules he managed to see, is anything but. What it really is, is a two-to-six week day camp run by bible-thumping fundamentalist Christians who seem to sincerely believe that even suicide is better than homosexuality.

“I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle. In a physical death you could still have a spiritual resurrection; whereas, returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery.” –The Final Indoctrination from John Smid, Director, Love In Action (LIA), San Rafael’s “ex-gay” clan.


I can't be too sure how accurate that quote is, but it's everywhere. According to the several websites, this camp, and others like it, are rehabilitation places for people suffering from addictions -- something like a fundamentalist Christian Betty Ford place.

However, true child of the internet age, this teen not only managed to get his hands on the rules -- which he wasn't supposed to see -- but he posted them to his blog. A blog which, if you read back, reads just like any other teen blog. If he's lying to get attention (an issue which no one seems to have blogged about yet), he's doing a seamless job of it -- and the honest truth is that other sources about this place bear him out.

Including a totally unrelated website for a show performed by a survivor of that very program. Click the book link. It's enlightening.

According to both his blog and the program's website, he's been there since the 6th. That's a week ago. He managed to get to the internet twice before that, and the posts read about like you'd expect a 16-year-old hardened rebel to read -- he's going to try to tough it out, but he's not sanguine. Reading those rules, I'm not either.

A parent who treated their child like that in the course of daily life could be hauled up for abuse. Forget the Chrisitan angle. I would be just as upset if there were no religious affiliation at all. I would be just as upset if he was going in there for drug abuse, instead of to have the homosexuality bibled out of him.

Nobody deserves that kind of thing.

And it's easy to tell that the primary orientation of the program /is/ anti-homosexual. On the front page of their website, they label it an addiction. Their resources section is full of misleading and false information, mostly about homosexuality.

I don't know when MeFi got ahold of it, but it's been spreading like wildfire through the lower levels of the blogosphere ever since. The first six hits of a simple google search are bloggers spreading the word. A chronicle of ongoing picketting is on LJ.

"When they came for the communists, I was silent, because I was not a communist;
When they came for the socialists, I was silent, because I was not a socialist;
When they came for the trade unionists, I did not protest, because I was not a trade unionist;
When they came for the Jews, I did not protest, because I was not a Jew;
When they came for me, there was no one left to protest on my behalf."
      – Martin Niemoeller (1892-1984)


When they come for you, and for me, will there be anyone left? I can't talk to dad about this. I can't talk to my blood sister. It's not the night for Brandon to call. It's too late to call mom.

I didn't even believe, really, that places and people like this existed anywhere except in rebelstream scare tales.

There are people who willingly put their children -- the most precious thing any world, any time, any god has to offer -- into a place like this. They pay money to do this to their children.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
      – T.S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
Current Mood: Amazed

musings Jun. 10th, 2005 @ 07:01 pm
I’m currently musing, since paycheque is coming soon, on BPAL. It’s the current obsession of the JF half of my f-lists, and I’m thinking I’d like to try it a lot (what the hell is an imp?) but have no idea where to start. So, recs from those of you into that fandom? There’s so much there to wade through. My favourite scents are vanilla, sunshine (shutupithasascent), most fruits, fresh-cut grass, and almond. Actually, as far as perfumes go, I haven’t found one I don’t like yet. If I get into this BPAL thing, I probably will, though.

/excerpt

May. 25th, 2005 @ 09:29 pm
Revenge of the Wanker

Now showing in a journalfen near you.
Current Mood: Disgusted
Other entries
» good times, goodbyes
[crossposted from email]

I ... don't really know how to start this off. You might have noticed
I've been missing for the last two weeks, or not. The first week was
my vacation, which I forgot to say anything about. This week has been
a week of incredibly bad luck, coupled with a deepening surge of
depression.

What I'm really trying to say here is that though I love the Est, and
I've enjoyed my time here, I can't do it anymore. It's got nothing to
do with anyone here; it's strictly me. I /can't/ do this anymore. It
hurts too much. I get to the point of writing a serious scene, and I
freeze, and I can't go on doing that.

I thought the Est would be a good thing to help me cope. It's
nobody's fault but my own that I was wrong.

I'm okay with whatever might happen to either of my pups; whether
people just pretend they didn't happen, or someone else takes them on,
or whatever. I'll be happy to give the keys to the journals and AIM
names to someone else. If I can get myself together, and / or things
change, I might come back. I just can't say right now. But I can't
allow myself to go on being a burden to a game I can't write for.

So this is goodbye, for now. It's only goodbye to the game, though,
and I'm happy to have muns contact me at any time.

Thank you all for a lovely time here.

~Panya
former mun of Johnny Depp and Emma Watson
Mar. 25th, 2005 @ 01:05 pm
» fic-in-progress
Fandom: Van Helsing
in progress
Pairing: Van Helsing / MS

(started on 2/24/2005)
(last modified 3/1/2005)
(3,201 words)

(Warning for unabashed sexuality and a high incidence of Mary Sue-ness. Not intended for serious consumption. Read at your own risk.)

( Remember me )
Mar. 1st, 2005 @ 02:31 pm
» fair warning, etc.
Y'all might have noticed something of a dark tone and several hints in Johnny's latest posts. Basically, (much as it pains me to admit it), the Hunter S. Thompson thing played right into my current main storyline for Johnny. Unless something really /really/ spectacular happens at the Oscars, Johnny's going to attempt suicide shortly afterward. He isn't going to succeed. I'll welcome volunteers to stop him, and / or beat the shit out of him afterward, but either way I have reasons for him to try and reasons for him to fail.
Directly related to this is the fact that immediately prior, Johnny is not going to show up to the first day of filming POTC2 (it's my understanding correct me if I'm wrong that Est-wise that's set for early March). So any pups involved with that /should/ notice something, though I sincerely doubt there will be many public entries by Johnny between now and then.
If this is a real problem for anybody munwise, please let me know, though I don't know how I could plausibly derail it now.
Feb. 23rd, 2005 @ 08:09 pm
» PSA
Well, hell. Sometimes being a nice person can be a real bitch.

I /was/ going to be able to come to the LA barchat tonight, which would have been good for the purposes of Johnny's storyline, but Corrine just called, and they need me to come in and close tonight. There's nobody else they can call, and it's a Friday, which means that 3 people closing won't be able to get out at a reasonable hour (despite the eerieness of how early we got out monday and wednesday). They need a fourth, and the other two who are scheduled are sick. (Damn Ami anyway, she's been sick for two fucking weeks! I've come to work sick for days on end -- though not contagious, hell.)

So no barchat for me, though I may wish to retcon some action there, not sure. Hopefully another week.
Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 10:54 am
» notes to self
Johnny vignettes:

meeting Vanessa
conception of Lilyrose
Vanessa's death
random Est D/s scene
nearing bottom (v. recent)

come up with listing of people Johnny has fucked over the last x years?
est-timeline
Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 01:05 am
» (No Subject)
Originally Johnny was going to fly over and be in Simon's dressing room after the first Japan concern. Roger's accident derailed that, so here's the original log. Unedited, mind you, rife with tense and spelling errors.

( the original Simon and Johnny meeting )
Jan. 27th, 2005 @ 08:58 pm
» future ref
For my future reference, the Johnny!Kitty meta.

( not the sanest of kitties )
Jan. 18th, 2005 @ 02:31 pm
» (No Subject)
WTF.

This whole "approve posted entries" thing at [info]fandom_wank is getting out of hand. Not in the sense that the mods are doing a bad job (they aren't, at all), but in the sense that there's a LOT of fingerpointing going on lately about whose version got posted, what's been allowed through, and why.

(Setting aside the fact that [info]thorn_star's first act here was to whine about it ... )

I like FW. I like FW a lot; it brightens my day when the stupid has been all over work and I'm goddog-tired.

I don't like hitting the comments to a wank and the first thing being "these other people tried to post about it as well but you were first" and that turning into a multi-comment thread about who cares, why, who it was who posted that anonymously, and how the mods are all jelus bitcez who have favourites.

Frankly, y'all, I had been of the understanding that the point of approving posts had very little, if ANYTHING to do with wank-content. The point was to keep the trolls from eating JF's servers. And that was IT. So [info]thorn_star's wank about how tinhattery doesn't belong in [info]fandom_wank but in [info]dl_anon (despite the fact the before s/he came along nobody else seemed to care), and [info]llama_treats' argument with [info]funkyhelix about rejected posters ... what's it doing existing at all?

(Mommy, the wank is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!)

When I first came here and got my account, FW was about teh snark. Lots of snark. I liked snark. It made me laugh. Now it seems like every wank contains a thread with what looks like serious namecalling and insults, and [info]we_wank, which started out as [info]llama_treats' little party, is now actually serving a function.

I want my funneh back. I want the days when tshirts and absurdism icons were the rage, and not this whole "OMG why didn't my post get picked!" thing. Yes, FW is self-modding. Self-modding != constantly sniping the mods for not doing things your way. We picked them to make decisions, so STFU and let them make decisions. This business I'm pointing out isn't legit complaints, it's self-aggrandising whinge.
Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 04:49 pm
» mememe -- SHEEP
If there is any question you would like to ask me about any one of my characters/pups, fics, stories, or logs, then go ahead! What I meant by a particular line, why I chose that characterisation, what I was listening to as I wrote, what crack I was taking and ...

( read the whole entry )


Nov. 20th, 2004 @ 02:49 pm
» peaks and valleys, yo
Okay, so it's just past midnight, and the day that started off okay once I got my ass woke up has turned into the biggest rotten bitch you ever did see. If tomorrow is going to turn out like today, maybe I just won't get up. Except I ...

( read the whole entry )


Oct. 22nd, 2004 @ 12:30 am
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