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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in NM's LiveJournal:

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    Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
    1:11 pm
    Declaration of Conversion
    George R.R. Martin.... oh my God, this man can write.

    I've been putting off reading his books because they're long and take lots of investment, unlike the cheap hilarious romance novels that I brightened my summer with, but I picked up "A Game of Thrones" the other day, and I'm now almost finished "A Clash of Kings" and I've bought the next two. They are brilliant, but if you've already read them you'll know that. If you haven't, go read them.

    I wasn't quite sure what to expect, because I'd heard they were dark, and 'dark' in fannish terms passes for 'lots of blood and sex and weird religion.' A lot of fantasy authors try to be 'dark' just for the hell of it, and they don't build up very believable societies around those three themes. Martin's definitely dark, plus he's got the blood and the sex and the weird religion, but he also knows what he's doing.

    ( Small spoilers under the cut for the first two books )
    1:02 pm
    Labour Party = Slytherfen
    Sheep, I've got you your Draco!Labour metaphor here.
    Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
    10:52 pm
    The Plot of Twilight and Sequels, as I understand it from reading snippets in various bookstores
    "Take me! Take me now!"

    "Okay! But I have to vampirize you first!"

    "Oh well, don't take me now!"

    "But actually, maybe I will"

    "Take me now, then!"

    "I'm not sure about this."

    "Take me, please!"

    "All right, I'll take you now!"

    "I don't think I want to do this yet."

    etc. etc. etc.
    Monday, April 14th, 2008
    12:39 pm
    Small Old Jane Austen Wank
    I was browsing Jane Austen sequels and came on this exchange on the Amazon review page of Consequence: Or Whatever Happened To Charlotte Lucas.

    This book is absolutely awful., June 15, 1999
    By A Customer
    I am also, like the author, a JASNA member. I looked forward to the book, particularly as the presumable topic was Charlotte. The author's verbage is more an exercise in her wish to string together names of "offspring" of all the characters in all the Jane Austen novels ever written, without regard to time, location, and most certainly, without regard to probability. This book did not concern Charlotte; stole too much language from Jane's novels, and did not resemble Austen's works in style, story or sense. A waste of my money.
    Followed by:

    Decide for Yourselves, December 23, 1999
    By Elizabeth Newark "bluestocking" (Berkeley, California) - See all my reviews
    (REAL NAME)
    Forgive me for speaking on my own behalf, but anyone reading the next-in-line review might think my book was trash. It is not, of course. Before it was published it was reviewed by Professor Juliet McMaster, of the University of Alberta, a leading member of the Jane Austen Society of North America and one of their most delightful speakers. It was Professor McMaster who wrote: Jane would be proud of you (I intend of have those words engraved on my tombstone.)

    The next reviewer claims to be a member of the Jane Austen Society, but she chooses to be anonymous. No true Jane Austen reader would hide her identity.

    Elizabeth Newark
    Friday, March 7th, 2008
    11:41 am
    A story I Never Wrote
    Talking with Alec, I was telling him about a fic I never wrote, and never will. Might as well post it here and get it out of my system.

    In '1975', the soon-to-be Death Eaters, Roland 'Rolly' Wilkes and Florence Jorkins were engaged in an obviously doomed romance. Since the only canon mention of Wilkes was that he was killed. Wilkes's mother was Lucius Malfoy's aunt, but she'd long since distanced herself from the Malfoys. And when it was announced her son had been a Death Eater, she posthumously disowned him. Never spoke of him again, destroyed his belongings etc. To some extent, she was probably afraid of Crouch suspecting she was somehow involved.

    When she was informed that, before dying, her son had had a liaison with Florence Jorkins, also now accused of being a Death Eater, and that Florence was pregnant, she denied any connection to the child, or responsibility.

    ( Read more... )
    Monday, March 3rd, 2008
    1:11 pm
    About that Vander Ark update.
    Exhibits F and G are the stuff I searched for and posted on FW and here.

    *waves hello to Jo's lawyers*
    Monday, February 25th, 2008
    12:18 pm
    Making all things clear
    I was writing up the latest FW Sockpuppet outbreak on the wiki, and noticed a funny little detail about that wank.

    The somewhat obtuse OP of this thread is another one of SVA's LJ friends, who joined JF in December and only comments on SVA. She didn't bother to sockpuppet, kudos to her.
    Friday, February 15th, 2008
    3:38 pm
    Silly Sockpuppet
    Ok, I posted all about Niuserre/Haley/Allthatjas's cunning plan.

    Now it go asplodey? Or will she finally say, "It's a fair cop! You've got me bang to rights, guv'nor!"
    Thursday, February 14th, 2008
    8:58 pm
    A Confession
    I think I need to confess to my flist that I work for a non-profit organization, and have been known to finance my lust for Toblerone White Chocolate with the proceeds I derive from the non-profit organization.
    Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
    1:30 pm
    Another Ridiculous Lexicon Detail
    Melissa at TLC contacted Langford to check if the Ansible letter was really from SVA. Some people had doubts.

    Melissa: As asked, I contacted and heard from David Langford as well. The email is accurate and came from his personal email address. The only "significant change," he said, besides routine formatting (caps, ital, etc.) was modifying 'The full text of the Lexicon book...' to 'A large portion of the Lexicon book text...' Apparently it emerged in the correspondence that "full text" wasn't quite accurate, and Steve suggested he edit the post say that a that large portion was available as pat of the filings from WB, which he did.
    What this means:

    In SVA's published letter to Ansible, there's the sentence, "A large portion of the Lexicon book text is available online as part of the filings from Warner Bros last week if you'd like to see what the final result looks like."

    According to Langford, SVA's original draft said that "The full text of the Lexicon book is available online as part of the filings from Warner Bros." Langford obviously was skeptical that WB had put the whole book online, and got a correction on that from SVA before publishing.

    What is going on? Did SVA want it to look more like he was being victimized by WB? Or is he just that clueless?
    Monday, February 11th, 2008
    9:44 am
    Disingenuous like woah.
    Annephoenix has no idea what is going on.

    "To be honest, I have NO idea about the legal whatsits of this case. None, and I will be v interested in the outcome of the hearing. But since the public media/press lawyers tend to consider this a landmark case, maybe it does have more merit than f_w would make one think? Maybe not ;). I truly don't know!"
    But she does know that Steve Vander Ark is just doing what Emerson Spartz does with Rowling's blessing.

    Could all this have anything to do with the fact she's a Sectus organizer who blames Fandom Wank for... something?
    Friday, February 1st, 2008
    10:50 am
    R/Hr: Because Harry Isn't Up To It
    Some of my friends have already been amusing themselves with this fic, and now I see why. It's practically the silliest thing I've read in HP fandom, which takes some doing. Regency H/Hr.

    “I – I’m sorry to disturb you,” she said, stepping tentatively into the room, “but I’m a little…er…perplexed.”

    The bedclothes rustled as Harry sat up. “Well, come here and tell me what is troubling you.”

    Hermione padded barefoot over to his bed and sat hesitantly. She was grateful now for the darkness, for it meant Harry would not be able to see her blush as she attempted to explain herself.

    “As I said, I’m a bit perplexed because…well, I’ve been told that upon one’s wedding night, it is…er…customary, to consummate the marriage, and…well, we don’t appear to be doing that.”

    Harry’s reaction was a rather audible intake of breath.

    “I – I did not think you would…want to…er…consummate,” Harry said. “Until such time as you wanted to have children, of course. Presuming you want to have children at all.”

    “I did not think I had a choice,” Hermione replied truthfully.

    “Well…you certainly ought to. As I’m sure you’ve heard, it is…quite painful for a lady, the first time, and I do not wish to inflict that upon you until it is necessary.”
    This is Chapter Two. By Chapter Six, Hermione and Harry have advanced to sharing a bed. By Chapter Eleven, they consummate the marriage.
    Monday, January 28th, 2008
    11:35 am
    Superteam meme.
    Assemble a superteam from your various fandoms. Your team must consist of the following:
    (1) Team Leader
    (1) Warrior
    (1) Smartypants
    (1) Hottie
    (1) Comic Relief
    All your superteam members must be from DIFFERENT fandoms.    ( Read more... )
    Monday, January 7th, 2008
    12:53 pm
    For Ashenmote
    Now that you've discovered Yes Minister, I'm presenting you with my big, best Crossover ever theory.

    Bernard is totes a wizard

    Unfortunately, it's beyond my capability to write.
    10:44 am
    Looks Like Another Entertaining Rowling Year
    JKR: A part of the final battle that made me smile was Slughorn galloping back with Slytherins, (SU: Yes!) (JN laughs) but they’d gone off to get reinforcements first, you know what I’m saying? But yes, they came back, they came back to fight, so I mean- but I’m sure that many people would say “Well, that’s common sense, isn’t it? Isn’t that smart, to get out, get more people and come back with them?”

    So the Slytherins came back, eh?

    *is laughing so hard the tears are rolling down her face*

    Oh, Jo, I love you more than any author out there. You've got an almost Bertie Woosterish talent for spreading chaos among your fans.

    But I really think that had better be made clearer in the subsequent edition. I came up with this idea, but I thought I was retconning, not reading the authorial intent properly.

    P.S. Have I mentioned before that my (adult) brother, were he to post online, would be prime Fandom Wank material? He said after Christmas dinner that he felt like Rowling was trying to shove her interview canon in his face, and make him accept it, and was telling him to shut up. Also that he wasn't going to give her anymore money. I asked him why he was reading all her interviews, and he couldn't quite explain that. It was great after-dinner entertainment. Particularly when it came out that Harry Potter Seven was the only book he's read this past year. *headdesk*
    Friday, November 30th, 2007
    10:00 am
    Thank God the Server is So Robust
    Ok. What happened with rachelthedemon? Did she delete her journal and flounce off, after being so very amused?

    *sits back to hear the story*
    Sunday, November 11th, 2007
    4:05 pm
    The problem with the racist hair wank...
    is that most people, on hearing the word "hair", will be seized with an uncontrollable urge to talk about their own hair. Only this theory can explain some of the comments on FW. They're not callous to racial concerns, they just want to enlighten you about the time someone asked to touch their blonde hair, or their struggles to find the right type of hairspray for their fine brunette curls.

    Full disclosure here. I have very, very curly light-brown/blonde hair.
    Wednesday, November 7th, 2007
    1:04 pm
    To dream the impossible dream
    I've been digging through the HPFGU archives from 2000 and found a number of interesting posts from Steve Vander Ark. The wank has taken on the qualities of psychological drama for me. The correspondence I'm highlighting could be an illustrative case of Why You Should State Some Caveats When You Teach Your Kids To Pursue Their Dream No Matter What.

    ETA: More stuff on Fandom Discuss. This time not about Vander Ark's ambitions, but about how he got from being Rowling's biggest cheerleader to here. And I reveal my odd empathy for Vander Ark.
    Tuesday, November 6th, 2007
    7:16 pm
    On what meat doth our Caesar feed?
     If you aren't following the Lexicon wank breathlessly, there's now a screencap of Steve's ironic email exchange with the would-be Harry Potter encylopaedia writers. The one where he declares his loyalty to JKR *and* outlines his scheme for being her number one man. He really is Gilderoy Lockhart, but without the dashing good looks to compensate.
    Monday, November 5th, 2007
    11:29 am
    Any Subjugation icons?
    Does anyone on my flist know where I could get a "I Have Not Yet Begun To Debauch" ! Dumbledore icon? I'm thinking that I saw them floating around, and I wanted one as soon as Dumbledore was outed.

    'Subjugation' (for the mercifully unaware) is a really horrid PWP epic where Dumbledore and Sirius rape Snape and make him grow hooters. Dumbledore's famous line therein is "I have not yet begun to debauch."
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