This is mad love

fandom_wank

snacky

12:12 pm - MOD POST: Email problems and an interruption in the wank

Dear people of the wank communities,

Please allow us a moment for wank business.

Your mods are not receiving any emails from JF letting us know that there are posts in the mod queues, awaiting approval. This leads to wank back up, something none of us want.

Until JF's email issue is resolved, if you submit a post, please also submit an email to the Modsquad (mods @ thefannish.org), so we will know it's waiting for approval.

Thank you kindly,

Your loving Modsquad

fandom_wank

tetradecimal

09:55 am - I'M THE GODDAMN ADMIN

Direct from the pages of wank report:
"Sheezyart's (http://sheezyart.com) admins troll members who use Adblock by forcing a flashing red and yellow background and music to appear for anyone who uses Adblock on their site."

"Comments with a star are Sheezyart staff/admins, who have been the epitome of class throughout...

The flashing background and music have since been removed and replaced with a text banner, but not before someone actually had a seizure from it."

720+ comments, including an appearance on page two by the Goddamn Batman. Yes, that one.

fandom_wank

kaen

04:57 pm

Yesterday over at rvb_slash (a community for Red vs. Blue slash) one of the mods makes a post saying, basically, I know I don't do much active modding, so are there any suggestions you all have for improving the community?

It should have been clear this wasn't going to go well when the first comment is from somebody saying how they've left the community because it's gotten so awful, and then snarking at the next commenter when she says she's happy with it.

Other people show up agreeing that it's gone downhill and there's a decent amount of wank in the first post, but it really takes off when the mod makes a second post addressing some of the concerns that came up.

So, what's made the community become so awful that it's apparently driven off a bunch of old-timers and made one of the biggest wanker in the posts "[decide] the fandom needed saving" and feel like he's been holding the fort until things improve? Have oodles of trolls shown up while the mod wasn't paying attention? Has the community been flooded with off-topic posts?

No, it's because everyone who's joined since October '08's fanfiction is bad and they should feel bad. They don't say exactly why October '08 (mid-October '08 to get even more specific) is so clearly the start of it's downfall, but they're very certain that's it.

While there's wank scattered all over the place in the two posts, my personal favorite part would have to be lvsinsanity insisting that fanwork about Freelancers shouldn't be allowed in the community unless those Freelancers have been seen interacting with the Red or Blue team, because clearly "Red vs. Blue Slash" refers to the teams instead of the name of the series. When people point out that it is named after the series, and any character that appears in it is fair game, lvsinsanity's response is that they're interrogating the text from the wrong perspective her way of viewing things makes perfect logical sense and Freelancers still don't belong there.

Another thing to keep an eye out for is primalreligion insisting all over the place that a certain character (York) should never be in slash fic because even though it never came up in canon there was an interview somewhere, he can not remember where, that says he was married.

fandom_wank

mariem_1

01:42 pm - The terrifying story of Remus Lupin, cannibal and pedophile, and matricidal werewolf fetus

Snapefen at Snapedom are engaging in their favorite pastime - abusing everybody who isn't Snape or at least a Slytherin. This time their designated target is Remus Lupin. Note that this wank started 21 day ago and is still going on.

It all began when terri_testing posted an essay Remus (and other Lycanthropes) as Parents, where she depicts Remus as bad and irresponsible teacher, husband and father. Some excerpts:

( Read more )

The essay ends with a horror-novel scenario:

But if my reasoning is correct, human mothers, in general, can only carry a human child to term. So Remus should have been angsting over the possibility that Tonks would miscarry her much-wanted child, not that it would be born a lycanthrope. But he wasn’t.

Unless the only precedents Remus knew of involved werewolf mothers, who must always produce werewolf children if any. In which case Remus got Tonks pregnant while believing that any child he fathered MUST be born a lycanthrope.

*

But there’s a wrinkle thrown into all this by the fact that Tonks is a Metamorphmagus.

She can alter her body—including, we have seen, taking on superficial bestial characteristics (a pig’s snout). Can she alter other organs to be bestial? Specifically, can she alter her uterus and the mother’s portion of the placenta, perhaps subconsciously, to be more lupine to save her changing child?

If she can, that opens a truly chilling possibility. The metamorphmagus alters her uterus at the first full moon after conception, and manages to carry her lycanthrope fetus past the first full moon. And past the second, and the third….

Over time her fetus’s nervous system develops, and with it its normal instincts. Human, for almost all of the month. Except for those few hours when the full moon is above the horizon.

Her fetus will have no teeth, not before birth, unless that might be another point in which werewolves are unlike other canids, but it will eventually grow claws.

And then will come another full moon, the last one, and the werewolf-fetus’s instincts will urge it overwhelmingly to rend, to tear, the nearest human.

The one surrounding it.

terri_testing also posted a drabble Teddy’s Sister to go with her essay. I guess the name of Teddy's sister is Renesmee Lupin.

sailorlum, a sane Snape fan and Lupin fan, decided to argue, that Remus didn't completely suck. That caused a huge wankfest, where terri_testing, oryx_leucoryx, 00sevvie, duj and oneadthetruth argued that Remus was a bad guy, that it was cruel of him to make Snape!boggart look funny and not to drink Wolfsbane Snape brought immediately ("HOW ON EARTH is that scene supposed to be FUNNY to anyone in a way that does not deny the validity of Severus' pain? HOW?", wondered terri_testing), that Remus was hunting human prey with his friends the animals, that terri_testing is Lizzie Bennett and Lupin is Wickham, that Remus was only kind to Molly because she cooked for the Order and that werewolf!Lupin was probably more aggressive than werewolf!Greyback. Several Snapefen were also pretty rude to sailorlum. My favorite exchange is this one:

( Read more )

After all that 00sevvie made a new Snapedom post, where she bemoaned supposed whitewashing of Lupin's flaws and lack of validation of Snape's pain and trauma from other HP characters, JKR and sailorlum. marionros/smallpotato appeared in the comments to this post and proved how logical and reasonable she is by claiming that lycanthropy symbolizes pedophilia and that Remus metaphorically almost raped Snape while at school:

( Read more )

ETA: Harry has no ability to love and Ginny reminds him of Bellatrix.

ETA 2: farmercuerden summarized the Snapewank in a song.

otf_wank

theelusiven

07:08 pm - In France they call it a Royale with Wank....

An afternoon snack in miniwank form from customers_suck, courtesy of a mousie from wank_report , from whom the writeup is copypasta'd because journalfen ate the writeup I was working on. There's pedantry here to rival the Buttercream wank from awhile back. Thanks, mousie!

Over at Customers_Suck, haine_otomiya86 posts about a particularly irate customer who - among other things - was unclear about whether he needed a "McDouble," which costs $1.00, and a "Double Cheese Burger," which costs $1.19. The story goes on to describe how the poster had to double check which one the customer actually wanted, as well as a quick mention as to what the difference between these two sandwiches are. Answer: the $1.00 one contains two patties and one slice of cheese, and the $1.19 contains two patties and two slices of cheese.

However, for one magickcat, bothering a customer for clarification is apparently unacceptable.

Okay, seriously?
The customer was a jackass, I will give you that.
HOWEVER, your fussiness here about the McDouble/Double Cheeseburger thing is beyond ridiculous.
I don't mean in dealing with this guy- you did the best you could with an idiot like that, but for YEARS there was a dollar menu double cheeseburger.
Just because they took out one slice of cheese last year and decided to call it a "McDouble" doesn't mean that you shouldn't know what the heck someone is talking about when they specifty the "dollar menu double cheeseburger" which is EXACTLY WHAT A MCDOUBLE IS. There is a bun, there are two burgers, and there is cheese. I don't care how much you charge for it, its a freaking double cheeseburger. When someone specifies the "dollar menu double cheeseburger", if you don't know what they are talking about, well.... yeah.

I understand the math of the cheese, I really do.
What I am saying in that it is still a double cheeseburger, because it is...get this... two burgers.. WITH CHEESE.
I don't eat at fast food restaurants, as a general rule, and we don't have In & Outs here, so your reference means nothing to me. It certainly isn't rocket science. I know a few rocket scientists, and they know that a sandwich with 2 burgers and cheese is a double cheeseburger. ;)

NO, it costs more because McDonalds saw a way to make more money by adding another burger. They are all "meat"burgers, if you can legally call whatever they put in those things "meat"... I know damn well what is in each one because it was in the news and whatnot about what the change would be. My case is correct, and it stands.

gelasius

11:07 pm - vid rec: Sequence by lim

vid: Sequence by lim, 3:45
music: Consequence of Sound by Regina Spektor
fandom: Serenity

If you know Regina Spektor's music at all, you'll probably agree that her voice and musical style and wordsmithing could not be more perfect for a River-centric vid, and this is even more stunning than I could have imagined. Power and perception in cold blue delicate packaging, words tripping over themselves and skipping to land on meaning too fast to follow their path but lighting up when they arrive; such that I'm apparently incapable of describing it in any linear or coherent fashion so I think I will go watch this vid more times instead, and I suggest you do too.

gelasius

12:40 am - Number One, engage dreamwidth!

Giant non-fandom friending meme in liv's journal.

Here's the thing: a lot of people are about ready to leave LJ over the latest shenanigans. But they don't want to make the leap to Dreamwidth because, frankly, there isn't enough going on here. The site is smaller, so there are fewer posts, and fewer cool people to meet.
...
But I am going to take a leaf from fandom's book: I'm going to cease sitting around complaining about how DW is too quiet. Instead I'm going to participate in creating content and drawing attention to the cool stuff that already exists.

renfaire

fandom_wank

darth_buttocks

08:15 pm - Twicon Final Fail!

Awww, the Twihards had their first total failcon...

Not that it is that surprising, but Twicon has canceled both it's shows. With a big announcement on it's website:

In hind sight, it was pretty obvious things were going downhill for these guys. In February, they had to move their Toronto show to Ottawa due to the G20 Conference happening that weekend. This set off a flurry of cancellations and some grumblings on the message board about the Partners dragging their feet on refunds

The announcement is only a few hours old, and right now there is lots of confusion on the forum, especially about how they get refunds since the announcement didn't bother to mention how you go about this.

ETA: Becky Scoggins has posted a personal apology that specifically states it's not an official statement from Twicon. It's obvious she's distancing herself from the Twicon partners, trying to shift blame.

ETA 2: Noneya calls bullshit on Becky's apology pointing out the discrepancies in her statements At first, TwiCon 09 was premised on the idea of a charitable donation to Autism research but that apparently went to the wayside without any explanation to ticket holders either. Then you threw a TERRIBLE convention and had your spokesperson saying that "you did your best" and "I still think it went pretty well..." Lies. And it looks like the post has been deleted! Thankfully I have screencaps! (the offending post will be at the bottom :)

ETA 3.5: And the thread about refunds has now disappeared! You think the forum will last the week? But Becky is claiming the threads were deleted by the users!

ETA 4: Now we have other Twicon Partner Bailey Gauthier responding. And she's saying she doesn't know what's happened either!

ETA 5: Becky will be closing the Ning site in a few days. Thankfully I have screen caps and will be re-editing the page once the site goes down.

gelasius

11:47 pm - Harry Dresden vs. Conan the Barbarian? Are you KIDDING?

Suvudu.com's Cage Match 2010 Round 1, Division 1 is complete. See the awesome commentary by a pink-haired Kaitlin and a hat-wearing Joseph below. DON'T PANIC. Or maybe... do panic. *single tear*



Meaningless spoilers ahoy!

gelasius

11:01 am - Someone at SyFy isn't paying attention...

ETA: The Gwen bio has been rewritten.

... to the characters they're about to start airing. I know it's been linked all over the place, but it bears repeating.

Item one (the minor complaint) is character bio for Morgana from Merlin:

And though she hates the arrogant boy, Arthur, she knows that he listens to her when she acts as his conscience. Indeed, if they could only see it, the feisty pair are made for each other, their spiky exchanges masking a deep hidden attraction.

If there's one thing Gwen might wish for, it's that she could be just a little bit prettier. With her wonky teeth, uncooperative hair and glasses, not even the most charitable person could call her beautiful. She secretly wishes that someone would see beyond the obvious and like her for the person she is...but in Camelot, she doubts that will ever happen.

fandom_wank

ari_o

04:01 am - Welcome to the Wank Parade

nicked from the very long comment at wank_report, with thanks to the mouse.

Bandom darlings My Chemical Romance broke up according to their website. Their drummer Bob Bryar has left the band. People leave bands all the time, but that never stops people from pouring dirt on their heads, or beating their breasts, or making long bitchy comments on livejournal.

There is a post in chemicalromance. It's mostly variations of SADFACE and OMG HOW WILL I STUDY FOR MIDTERMS NOW? Peppered by the occasional WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES? THEY OWE YOU NOTHING. Rinse. Blather. Repeat.

Until inkandchaos goes a little dipsydoodle:

( CUT FOR STRONG LANGUASE AND YOUR RETINAS )

otf_wank

sarracenia

07:03 pm

A tiny old wank, but one that's a microcosm of why I love programming wank.

Background information for non-computer people:
PHP is an older web programming language, that's widely supported by everyone on the planet and thus decidedly uncool. IBM supports it, for chrissakes. Do you get more stodgy than that?
Ruby on Rails is a new, hip web programming language and framework that is way cooler than PHP. And supposedly it's easier to program with, but mostly it is way cool. Twitter uses it!
Frameworks are software to make it easier to program. They're kinda boring, except that Ruby on Rails has theirs automatically included while PHP people have to find or make their own, thus making Rails infinitely more cool.

When writing an article about your new PHP framework, never, ever make an unflattering side comment about Rails. Else its creator will jump in immediately with:

“Rails also suffers because it is hard to decouple Rails code from page display code.”. WTF?

Have you actually tried Rails? What part of MVC escaped your observant eye? When you talk about “Rails code”, what would you be referring to? Business logic? Controller logic? Hand-waving logic?

Not only does Rails go to greater lengths than most to separate concerns, but it also ships with a host of solutions to better organize “page display code” (I assume you’re referring to view logic). From partials to helpers to layouts.

Hell must certainly have frozen over with pigs flying across the skies. There’s no other day of the week that a PHP framework could be slinging accusations of poorly separated concerns.

CLEARLY THIS IS OFF TO A FRIENDLY START. Why, next I expect them to be sitting in a circle singing Kumbaya. Or slinging accusations of slander, hyperbole, cult membership, and of course fascism in less than thirty comments. One of the two.

gelasius

09:50 am - Cage Match 2010!!! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

And now for a dose of daily sillyness...

Suvudu, a site and blog associated with Random House, Inc. is running a CAGE MATCH between Fantasy Characters. ONLY YOU can save Arthur Dent from the Shrike. And more...

1) The Shrike vs. 32) Arthur Dent
16) Kahlan Amnell vs. 17) Drizzt Do'Urden
8) Ged vs. 25) Edward Cullen
9) Aragorn vs. 24) The Wee Free Men
5) Rand Al'Thor vs. 28) Locke Lamora
12) Harry Dresden vs. 21) Conan the Barbarian
13) Roland Deschain vs. 20) Elric
4) Gandalf vs. 29) Hiro Protagonist

And check back for further rounds as they appear...

Current Mood: amused