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[Jun. 28th, 2010|05:40 pm] |
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New point of curiosity: are people still bisexual if they're specifically attracted to both genders and also attracted specifically to people who identify as neither? I mean, I know I am, which is why I just call myself queer and usually refuse further elaboration unless it's actually relevant to "hi I'm trying to sleep with you." |
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| (angsty things that I can't put on lj, what) |
[May. 18th, 2010|10:38 pm] |
I see little evidence of late that love is anything but my ability to be tormented by someone else's pain. I sort of want to be dead. Not to die, to simply already be dead, already have been dead for years. I am not certain I was supposed to live to this age, and it is uncomfortable. It is a distinct impression that I have missed the opportunity for an appropriate exit, and that I am now doomed to a somewhat mediocre existence in which I shall flail wildly to moderate success at small-time psuedoacademic pursuits, but I do not expect I shall ever find again what I had before. I do not expect to ever be that wholly consumed, that wholly dedicated. The part of me that knew how to do that was either amputated or fell off on its own, starved of blood and oxygen as it was. I am a ventricle poorer than I was born. I will not recover it. The life I will lead in its absence will be strictly limited by this.
I.
am just such a whining goddamn teenager, wasn't I supposed to grow out of this?
The head of my department smartly recommended that I get evaluated for meds. I have no excuses left for this crap. |
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| Yuletide (mostly so I can find these later) |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|12:59 am] |
An Arrangement of Superstitions, Dogma: Bartleby/Loki with Metatron, Rish, oddly cute and angry.
In Case of Emergency, Hitchhiker's Guide: Ford/Zaphod, R, in which Zaphod is predictably infuriating.
Talking, All We Ever Do, RPF of Oscar Wilde and "associates," PG-13ish, clever and aesthetic and somehow everyone still manages to die.
For wherever you go, I will go, V for Vendetta: Valerie/Ruth, R, angsty and pretty.
Holy crap a whole bunch of fic for:
Stoppard's Arcadia
Sound and the Fury
xkcd |
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| No on Proposition 8 |
[Oct. 20th, 2008|03:45 pm] |
We're behind. Out-of-state megachurches are spending millions on ads that are spreading outright lies about the proposition, and what's worse: it's working.
I know everyone is sick to death of hearing about politics at this point-- I know I am-- but if you support equality and civil rights, please, please do like I just did and dig down deep. Donate five more dollars. Go without your cappuccino today, bring a bag lunch, just some small sacrifice for a big cause.
No On 8. It's close, you guys, and now is really the time that counts. |
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[Oct. 5th, 2008|03:13 pm] |
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There is a unique and exquisite pleasure in being done with one's Latin homework. I think a major reason I am taking the class is so I get to complain about my homework all hither and yon. The woods and meadows resonate with my whining! (O and my translations are really awkward. Woo!) |
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| Things That Will Always Be Funny |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|11:04 am] |
Weasels
Bananas
Penguins
Gullible people
Pigs
The Legislature
Willful Overeating
The Middle-Class White Man Being Oppressed
Projectile Foodstuffs |
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[Sep. 12th, 2008|01:49 am] |
Buttercup likes to sleep right next to my laptop due to warmness. So, currently she's all curled up, napping, and... sucking. Or suckling. Little sucky slurpy noises. I kind of don't want to know what kind of pervy little kitty dreams she's having.
Um. In other news, tegaki is fun. |
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[Sep. 9th, 2008|12:49 am] |
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Stickam. Same username. |
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| Musing and Rec |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|08:10 am] |
I wonder if she knows that I can see her.
I do need to go back to the Yukon, I think. Make it all the way, this time, and take better damn notes.
Ah, but nevermind all that. A quick rec while I am here.
If you somehow are living under the proverbial fandom rock and don't read ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) snegurochka_lee's recs (that's okay, you can go get on it now), you may have missed my dear friend gyzym's incredible fic, A Rose By Any Other Name. I suggest you rectify this immediately. It is George/Lee, R-ish? The pairing is not the primary focus, but elegantly woven through a very intense, painful George-centric montage of grief and coping and rebuilding. George, who has lost half of himself already, spends most of the fic actively chipping away at what's left. It's heartrending, it's realistic, it's fantastic, it is why I worship the paper gyzym writes on.
So. Yeah. Get on that.
(All username tags refer to LJ users, not JF, I am just too lazy to do the proper links. I may go back and fix that later.) |
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[Aug. 15th, 2008|01:27 am] |
Watched The Crow this evening. Parts of it were adorably bad... like, corny we're-cracking-up bad, not bad bad, and other parts were alright.
I wish I'd known ahead of time that that guy was in it, though. I swear I couldn't look at his face without pressing back into the couch to get further away from the screen. Do you know how hard it is to simply avert your attention from the primary bad guy in that kind of movie? |
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[Aug. 13th, 2008|08:57 am] |
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And now when someone belches we say, "Peace be with you" and the belcher replies, "And also with you." |
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| (things that make me make the face in this icon) |
[Aug. 5th, 2008|02:48 pm] |
The crescendo in O Fortuna (of Carmina Burana) makes me feel exactly same way as the truck-flip scene in Dark Knight.
(Similar to the feeling of a fast acceleration on the back of Dad's motorcycle, and that of being pushed up against a wall. It's that rush of something bigger than myself, taking over me and moving me. Physically, almost.) |
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[Aug. 2nd, 2008|05:50 pm] |
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My cup runneth over. |
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| bells and books |
[Jun. 20th, 2008|11:03 am] |
I have put bells on my ankles, so you can hear me coming. The left ankle has slightly larger bells, and fewer of them. The right is smaller, and more of them. So not only can you hear me coming, but you can tell how I'm walking.
If you were at all interested in that sort of thing, I mean.
In the meantime, I've just finished Speak Volumes II by GJ Margaret, and now I have to go re-read the first book because I am too impatient to wait for the third. Or, I could go poke me some Willy Gibson, I suppose. |
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| my thoughts on the wank, as opposed to posting it unfunnily in wank comments |
[May. 20th, 2008|10:35 am] |
House is a sexist asshole! :D
Difference being, the women around him regularly tell him that he is a sexist asshole. He knows that he is a sexist asshole. His sexist-assholism has consequences: he can't get a date, has a hard time working with his female colleagues, gets his boss-stripping-onna-bus fantasies interrupted with medical mumbo-jumbo... It's never glossed over, never denied, is in fact a significant theme in the show. Point is: this would be the difference between a character being misogynist, and a show being thus. |
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[May. 14th, 2008|04:57 pm] |
I am okay with my friends smoking weed, because if I were not okay with that, I would have no friends.
I am NOT okay with my friends dealing it. Like, I will turn in their dealers, and yell at them, and such.
Interestingly, this principle makes for VERY awkward conversations, because I'm apparently the only person who sees a problem with this at all. Everyone else just thinks I'm being an uptight bitch, and I should just cool the fuck down, because, I don't even know. Because if I turn in their dealers then they will have to find their weed elsewhere, poor babies. |
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[May. 13th, 2008|10:24 am] |
Why is bipolar disorder the new crazycakes get-out-of-jail-free card? You guys, it is SRS BSNS. Like that time my grandfather hung himself or that time my dad bought two firetrucks and tried to put a hot-tub in the tank or that time my youngest sister was trying to scratch her skin off because that's where the bugs were. It is not an excuse for screwing people over, it is not about a complete lack of self-control (we'll talk about the firetrucks later, shall we?) and also it is not TRENDY.
/rant. |
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[May. 9th, 2008|05:18 pm] |
I just donated blood for the first time!
Went with Jamie after lunch, because she was being a pussy and I have always meant to but never have, so goading her into it gave me motivation. It didn't hurt at all--I watched the needle go in, but I was sort of distracted because I was talking to Jamie about vampires and when they stabbed me, she screamed! I was so busy laughing at her I forgot to feel pain. Or something.
Anyways, that was groovy. My left forearm is all bestickered and bandaged (it's purple! :D ), and I got a little lightheaded but not enough so that I really had to hang out there or anything. Woo! |
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[May. 2nd, 2008|11:11 pm] |
Having female friends again means we're back into the habit of playing dress-up.
Which leaves me in a miniskirt, six-inch heels, and a black silk top. Um, what? |
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[May. 2nd, 2008|06:38 am] |
It's light outside, and I have not slept yet; been working on Stupid Film Class Stupid Homework all night, interspersed with yarning and porning. Now that I am finally on my bed, though, I can't shake the creeping feeling that the damn thing is going to collapse again when I come back to get some sleep after stupid film class.
Stupid broken dorm bed is right up there with stupid film class, I have to say. I mean, the first time the thing collapsed was a pretty WHAT THE FUCK moment, but if it does so again? Doom upon the maintenance staff. |
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