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This is the entry I should have written last week on Saturday because I saw Jet Li's Fearless then. But I got busy and distracted and never wrote down my reactions. The
movie itself was really really good. Jet Li's still got it, man. The
first 5 minutes of the movie already fulfill the need for martial arts
action that you paid for in a Jet Li movie because it was like 3 fights
all at once. Although Jet Li looks older, his acting is still pretty
good and it helps that the movie had a solid story. The fighting was
really creative and well done—besides the first 5 minutes, there were A
LOT more fights in this film and they were all well-done. I do wish
that the movie didn't start out with a little text blurb though. I have
the feeling that they stuck it in there for the Western distribution of
the movie to inform the "ignorant Americans" or "Western foreigners" of
what position the movie is coming from. Like the Once Upon A Time in China
trilogy (it feels so weird to refer to it as that because I really
don't know most of the English names for the Chinese movies I've seen
when I was a kid), Fearless explored the theme of Western exploitation
of a weakened China and consequently the shame and dishonor of
oppression by people who were not named as conquerors but acted like
ones. Why I go into this? Because it seems most people do NOT know
about this. Even now, that oppressive history resonates with a lot of
Asian descendants. Just look at the anti-Japanese sentiments amongst
Chinese or Korean people. Then the anti-Western sentiments from Asian
people. It's really a love-hate relationship here but most Westerners
don't even seem to perceive the conflict in the situation here. I'm
really greatly simplifying a pretty complicated situation but
basically, the only thing that ruined my enjoyment of the film, was
one, I knew how it ended (one of the reviews I read online spoiled it
without any warning) and two, the fucking ignorant white folk around
me. Now normally, I try not to be all "fucking white people" and racist
and crap. Normally, I enjoy the whole movie going experience, which
doesn't include just the big ass screen and kicking sound system, but
also being able to have your own reactions reflected back like a human
emotion echo chamber from the other audience members. But I did
not enjoy the overall movie going experience this time even though the
movie itself was good because of the audience members. For one thing,
it seemed like they really didn't get most of the subtext or history
going into this. I don't think they really believed that the Chinese
were oppressed—I don't think they realize how negative the Western
presence in Asia was. I think most of the people seem to have a very
naive view of the purposes of Western imperialism. Granted, altruism
was the self-justification used for colonization of other non-Western
heathen/pagan/barbarian cultures but like the reflections of oppression
you can see in modern Asian society, you can see this attitude in a lot
of Western attitudes towards Asia. It was rather uncomfortable to be in
a theater full of people who just didn't GET IT. I could feel their
whole disbelief every time there was a scene that showed the
humiliation of China at Western hands and a character would espouse the
need to disprove China's moniker as the "Sick Man of Asia". Maybe I'm
being too sensitive there though. But it annoys me when people don't
even get the repercussions of past actions—as an American, I really
hate to see that for the majority of the time, the stereotype of the
uninformed and ignorant American is true. Like, 99.9% of the time.
Like, with this audience. What really cinched it though was
when I heard some stupid motherfucker fucking laughing—LAUGHING—during
a fucking death scene. This is a martial arts movie and there is a high
chance of death occurring. As long as it's not corny or too
melodramatic, death scenes in these movies aren't supposed to be
laughing matters. And I've laughed at badly done death scenes. This was
not one. So really, trying to watch the movie only to have some fucking
chucklehead impinge on my aural space, is really fucking annoying. So
now, I wish that I had gone to see the goddamn movie in a deserted
movie theater. It had everything going for it, great action scenes,
solid plot, good acting, original language with subtitles (I don't know
about most people but I prefer subtitles), subtext and Jet Li. But my
experience of the movie was marred by the fact that I live in America
where most people choose to pay lip service to political correctness
but don't even bother to back it up with real substance and the
retarded audience member that laughed. So, even though it's a
week later. I'm still upset over the fact that my reactions just wasn't
the same as the reactions of most of the other audience members. So
perhaps, my anger is really motivated for selfish reasons. I'm angry
because it emphasizes my differences. I still get treated like I'm not
American just because I'm of an Asian ethnicity—like this kid at work
who acknowledges that he's an ignorant white hick (I've called him that
to his face too) whom, when comparing me to another Asian girl at work
(who by the way is never on time and is egocentric to the point where
when she's bored, she bugs the people in the office to keep her amused
and acts like it's her right to do that so I am already not liking the
fact that he is likening the two of us) listed one of the reasons we
were similar was that we were Asian but from different countries. He
really meant ethnicities but that phrasing basically implies "not
American," doesn't it? Granted, I knew what his intent was but hearing
this crap all the time really grates on you. One of the things a
minority has to get used to being asked is getting asked where they
come from. They really mean, what is your ethnicity but for some
reason, it's ruder to ask that outright than to ask someone their
origins with the implied assumption that you're not really American
because you're not white and hence, an American birth still doesn't
override your ethnicity. You might be some fucking fifth-generation
Asian kid so to yourself, you'd be as American as apple pie but to some
random ignorant Joe on the street, you could very well be a fucking spy
for the Chinese government. Most white people don't even realize that
their ancestors were all fucking immigrants. If I asked them all,
"Where did your family come from?" with the same intent as the
questions that go fishing for my ethnicity, their reply of "America"
wouldn't be accurate because their family fucking came from Europe or
Scandinavia or whatever. Sigh... I don't want to go on and on in
this vein but something that does intrigue me is that a racial epithet
for Hispanic people rhymes with hick. One's viewed (and rightfully so)
as derogatory but hick isn't viewed so strongly. A lot of white
comedians who make jokes on that seem to say that it's because there's
no pride in being white but I kinda disagree. Granted, there is a
rootlessness associated with being a white American because America
itself as we know it has only had around 200 years of history and with
each successive generation, the tie to the mother/fatherland that their
family originally immigrated from weakened with only a delicate idea of
Americanism to take its place. But I think hick is probably not viewed
so negatively because it points out ignorance—the other names
negatively highlight the difference in skin color or ethnicities but
hick really highlights a difference of mental worlds. Of course, hick
can still be used as an insult but I've seen it used far more as a
descriptor. So I dunno... Still muddling through the ideas...
so perhaps I will change my mind and regret recording my musings. But
right now, not sure how to integrate myself as an American. It's hard
to have an honest discourse about the idea of ethnicity and race in
America—that fucking movie, Crash,
was such a cop-out there because it's wasn't a discussion but an excuse
to get to use some dirty forbidden words and for the white people
working on that film to congratulate themselves on their bravery for
getting over their cultural squeamishness of racial issues. Well it's
not just white people who worked on that film, but I remember seeing
the people who walked on-stage for the Oscars and they were certainly
all white and they were responsible for conceiving Crash (and being
congratulated for it  ).
It's strange though because I'm reminded of a high school friend who
used to be the tolerant counterpoint to a less radical me. In high
school, I already noticed some of the issues I brought up but I wasn't
so bitter about it (by contrast, Kaity
seemed to have already developed a chip on her shoulder about it—I
don't know if she still has that bitterness though) but even bringing
up the differences I'd see, this friend would recommend trying to get
along (she was also a devout Christian but one who respected
boundaries). I remember meeting up with her a year ago after she
graduated from school where she went to a mostly white Jesuit college.
I remember we went to a library and this eccentric old man started
talking to us. He was a bit ignorant but rather good-intentioned and
amiable like he just innocently asked us if we were Japanese, which is
a lot better than the roundabout "So, where are you from?" My friend
flared up at this and said very coldly, "I'm American." Sometimes,
when I'm in a bad mood and I get asked this question, it immediately
makes me react that way but I was really surprised by the bitter venom
in my high school friend's reply. I'd never expected her, one of the
sweetest people in the world who always believed in the best of people
and had faith, to react so strongly. It was the rudest I'd ever seen
her before because really, the old man was not so bad when compared to
other people who've asked impertinent questions. Later, I asked her why
she seemed to have grown more bitter and we got into a long discussion
about it. But it seems like, going to the school that she did forced
her to confront the fact that there's a LOT of people out there who
don't know any better and probably even if they did, wouldn't act any
better. So I dunno, I think growing up in America, this will always
force its way into your life, no matter who you are. I guess I'm
enraged, embittered and saddened by the state of things. I think it'll
take me a whole lifetime to process all of this... Goddammit, I'm babbling now. I'll shut up now.
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