Yours sincerely, Dom Monaghan

Cinched In (Dom/Elijah)

Thu, 11 May 2006 12:17:30 GMT

[Voyeurs only; takes place in late March before Elijah left to film in NYC.]
[Feedback appreciated; all comments screened.]

*

Dom cinches him into the corset til Elijah's whooshing out breath in complaint. "Chin up now, women used to do this every day," he says, but he puts the laces in a slipknot so they can loosen naturally, and spoons Elijah from behind, nuzzling his nape. "There."

Elijah leans against him. "Heh, feels weird, cuddling in this outfit-- Though it does fit better now than it did. I'm thinner now..."

"And stronger," Dom admires, caressing Lij's arms.

"Mm, that too. Push-ups pay off more than whippings, apparently." Lij shivers a little, exposed, feeling more keenly in drag with the talk of muscle, of all things. He sends his hand backwards to cup the back of Dom's head and pulls him in, wriggling his ass against Dom's crotch. "Ooh, is that what I'm getting today, now I'm dressed up for it? A good lashing? 'M I a candidate for domestic, erm, disciplination?"

Dom laughs and nibbles his neck, groping him. "I'd say it's a clear and present danger. Have you been bad?"

"Verrrry. I stole a cookie from the jar! And..." Elijah thinks, casting about for sins he might want to confess, squirming more in Dom's embrace. "I er, I... had naughty thoughts about the master of the house. Oh! I'm so ashamed."

"Tch!" Dom's fingertips trail along Lij's legs, the lightest touch on the side, then front, then further enough that it nearly makes Elijah part his legs to give access to his vulnerable inner thigh. "What sort of thoughts? How naughty?"

"Very naughty," Lij answers, low now, murmuring. "I fear I'm going to Hell for them."

"That's terrible, Elijah." Dom tells him sternly, watching as Lij's cock begins to fill and lift the front of his boxers, down below the edge of the corset. "Stealing a cookie would only get you a spanking, but for thoughts as naughty as that, well, you'll simply have to have a lashing, it's for your own good."

Elijah nods, eyes downcast. "I understand, Sir. Truly, I hope your Grace can beat the naughtiness out of me..."

"Stretch out over my lap first, I'll have to punish you for your theft. Then we'll see about rectifying matters," Dominic sees Elijah's lips twitch, and barely keeps back a smile himself, "to do with these terrible fantasies of yours."

"Yes, Master." Elijah swallows and tries not to stumble as Dom pulls him backwards and sits in the armchair, his hands possessive on Lij's cinched waist.

If Elijah took this roleplay seriously he'd probably act contrite, keep his hands to himself and all of that... But it's way more fun to rub suggestively against Dom as he moves to take the position, turning and bending to settle over Dom's lap all luxuriously spread out.

A cold little sneaky feeling stitches up his back where the lacing goes, like a shiver etched there by the corset so snug around his chest; it's almost uncomfortably erotic.

"Like this, Sir, is this all right?" he asks.

Dominic fondles Lij's arse, his hands softly squeezing and stroking, but in contrast to the sensual touch, his voice is austere. "Yes, you're well positioned. But you were certainly very wanton in getting there! Do you really repent those naughty thoughts of yours? I think you'd better tell me about them." He spanks Elijah, four swift blows to each cheek, and then pets his arse, waiting expectantly as Lij gasps and jerks. "Well?"

"I--" Elijah's seriously struggling for the proper way to speak; he's not really fucking qualified for wordsmithing in the middle of what's taken a decisive turn into mmm, sex, he needs a second to think-- "I would not.. dare sully your Grace's mind with filthy thoughts like those-- Master," he whinges, "do I really have to?"

Trying not to laugh at being addressed as 'Your Grace', Dom bites the inside of his lip and puts on a fierce frown; even though Elijah can't see his face, it helps him keep in the spirit of things. He spanks Elijah vigourously, quite hard and brisk.

"Ah!" Elijah twitches and twists, grinding against his lap.

Dominic works Lij's underwear down and trails his fingers over the skin, already pink and sensitized. "You must confess, Elijah, yes."

"Oh, it stings! --And as well it burned all the same, in my fevered thinking," Elijah speaks only just above a whisper, all in a rush, on a roll, not too concerned with realism as long as he can hang on to his role consistently, that shamed feeling. "His Grace was too hot, the summer you know, and, I was watching... oh, I can't say it, it's too depraved..."

"You can say it," Dom slips fingers between his cheeks, touching him intimately, just gently. "And you will say it, because I'm telling you that you must."

Lij moans, managing to sound marginally, whinily anguished in spite of his eager delight. "Sir was walking around privately, uncovered to better stand the heat of the day; and so exposed-- my naked eye couldn't help it, I promise," he wriggles and presses sideways and downwards to increase contact with Dom's erection. "It felt as though I'd be sinning not to look at the glorious sight, his Grace was so stiff--" Elijah bites the armrest, half-smothering a chuckle; he can feel the tremble of Dom's thighs under him, also trying not to laugh.

It takes Dom a few seconds to regain him composure; he sucks his fingers into his mouth, wetting them thoroughly with a succulent slurp, and touches Lij's hole again. "So you were spying. Very naughty, indeed, and I'll have to punish you for that..." he presses the tips of two fingers in slowly. "What were you thinking? Tell me!"

Now Elijah's smothering more than chuckles, sputtering words that want to melt into more moans. "I thought-- there were visions, I meant to help Sir wash, to cool him with a wet sponge... I saw myself in thoughts, pulling the demon heat out of his Grace with my bare hands, carefully, carefully--"

"That's not so very bad." Breathing faster, Dom tilts his hips to push his hard-on up against Elijah a bit. "A brief lashing should drive out such thoughts as those..." he pushes his curved fingers in deeper, aiming for Lij's prostate. "Is that all? Be honest, beute."

Elijah's body tenses in a spasm. "No! --Um, I was suckling, I was using my mouth to call the seed of heat up, Sir's hand held my face..." He's already breathless, white sparkles dancing inside his eyelids as Dominic's fingers corkscrew into him; "How long it lasted, I cannot say-- My breast was bared so my work robes wouldn't get stained-- Sir, I can't say the rest, I forget--"

"Oh, Elijah," Dominic puts scandal into his tone. "That's much more grave. We shall have to scourge you thoroughly, I'm afraid." He draws his fingers out and spanks Lij a few more strokes, sliding his underwear off entirely to leave him in nothing but the corset. "Go to the other room, fetch the lash and kneel before the cabinet to offer it. I'll follow along directly."

Redfaced, Elijah adjusts his corset as best he can while getting up. He purposefully avoids looking at Dom, murmuring, "Yes Sir, as you say, I shall go straight away," his chest heaving in the confines of the garment as he obeys. It's not difficult to play, there's nothing to fake there: he's as honestly flustered as his fictional persona.

Watching Elijah's rosy arse disappear into the bedroom, Dominic stands and adjusts himself, trying to get a grip before he follows.

In the toy cupboard, Lij's hand reaches automatically for the most ancient-looking flogger, a brown leather number with a wooden handle that could as well date back to a time with Your Graces and servants in corsets, petticoats and punishments. He settles on the floor, kneeling with his head bowed and the flogger laid across his palms, offering it up. His ass feels hot where his heels connect and press into it, burning with dulled pain radiating up his spine.

Dom hesitates just outside the bedroom door, and inspired, he strips before going inside.

Elijah kneels in nothing but the corset, somehow looking more naked than if he wore nothing at all. He holds up the flogger, head hanging down between his arms. He'd be the picture of penitence if it weren't for his cock jutting up, full and hard, the head glossy with precome.

Dominic takes the lash and tips Elijah's chin up with the end of the wooden handle. "Look at me, beute." Elijah does, his eyes wide, almost candidly; he rises up on his knees; his lips open and close once, in silence.

"Can you look on me now," Dominic demands, "and resist those shameful thoughts?"

Elijah's eyes skip down to Dom's crotch and back up; he blinks. "No, Sir," he shakes his head, a small subdued movement. "I still... temptation, I."

Dominic caresses his cheek with the wood, and his voice deepens, growing thoughtful. "You know, having such a thought is the same sin as if you performed the deed itself."

Biting his bottom lip to avoid untoward snickers, Elijah forces his eyes to widen and pulls his eyebrows up. "Is that so, Sir?"

With an impressively straight face, Dom answers. "It's exactly the same. For that thought, I must punish you just as severely as if you had committed the act."

Elijah wets his lips. "His Grace says such things as to make me wish I had done the deeds!" he blushes.

"You have taken on the sin of it already, and you will be punished for it dearly," Dominic intones ominously. "Yet-- if the temptation still haunts you, perhaps you need to experience the act, so that--" he pauses, trying to come up with some reason that will get Lij's mouth around him as soon as possible. "So that its mystery will no longer hold sway over your innocent mind."

It's hard not to giggle, and Elijah looks down at the carpet to distract himself, turns his face to brush his mouth over the lash's handle while he thinks up a proper response. It's funny, sure, but it's hot too, more than it should be, with even the exaggerated tone of Dom's voice striking a chord in his guts.

"I put my faith in Sir's hands," he whispers, finally, "to direct me and help me not to stray from the path in the future, and to make it so that evil doesn't tempt me anymore..."

"Then we shall combine your temptation with your punishment," Dom tells him, effortlessly convincing, "to seal the two together more firmly in your mind." He strokes Lij's mouth, denting his lips gently. "Open your mouth, beute, and yield."

Elijah barely keeps back a moan; there's no laughter in him now. The scenario might be a little silly, but that command melts his brain to liquid. Looking up with naked greed, he parts his lips under Dominic's thumb.

Dominic tips his hand and slides his thumb into Elijah's mouth, pressing lightly down against the moist heat of his tongue. "Mind yourself. Don't forget this is punishment, not indulgence. Obey my commands," he warns, and directs his straining cock into Lij's mouth.

The truth is that punishment is indulgence too, of course, and so Elijah shudders from pleasure and tension as he takes Dom in, keeping himself in check. Rabid wouldn't do here, or sloppy; Lij darts his tongue against the tip of Dom's cock as soon as Dom's fingers slides out, hesitantly, trying to pretend he's never done this before.

Elijah accepts him with a tentative, shy eagerness that has Dominic's heart hammering in no time. He'd like to wring Lij's hair in his hand and push deeper down his throat just to see the shock on his face; but not yet.

Stepping closer still, Dominic positions himself with one foot planted between Lij's thighs, standing as close as he can. He skirts the flogger over Elijah's shoulders to alert him that it's coming. The corset will absorb the sting at the tips of the leather where the lash is fiercest; Dominic knows he can snap it quite hard without hurting Elijah much. Lifting it back, he lets fly with the first blow.

It's not enough to hurt, not when Elijah's ready for it, his body prepared, wanting-- still, the bite in that spot down between his shoulder blades where the lacing doesn't cover his skin wrings a little gasp out of him. The warmth from the first stroke rushes in as Dom strikes a second time, then a third; Elijah's spine unfurls and arches, fire running up from under his balls; he tips forward; his mouth closes and slides over Dom's shaft with no conscious control on his part.

"No less than thirty," Dominic gasps, "for the-- sake of your eternal soul, no less," and he keeps the flogger raining down on Elijah's back steadily, making sure the painful tips always land on the protection of the corset. Elijah gulps around his cock with none of his usual skill, playing the scourged innocent to the hilt, and the novelty alone is enough to send Dominic half off his head.

Dom's pushing in, deeper, nearly tripping Lij to gag; Elijah's thighs flex and he lifts up to bear it, his eyelids fluttering with nerves and lust, his mouth flooding with saliva--

He hears himself groaning, a muffled sound between two thumps of the lash, that Dom throttles back in his gullet with a new shove of dick, his hand becoming brutal on Elijah's jaw, holding fast; and then he's not hearing anything anymore but the blood in his ears when Dom starts fucking his mouth in earnest. His pelvis rocks helplessly to rut against Dom's leg, the lashing turns erratic, Dominic nearly cuffs him in his ear with the handle and Lij has a sudden urge to grab his ass and pull and suck harder yet... He doesn't, though, keeping his twitchy fingers knotted together; he opens his mouth wider still to accept it.

"See where those thoughts have led," Dominic pants, "now you understand what it really is--" Leaving off with the lash, Dominic finally gives in and twists his fingers around a fistful of Elijah's hair, watching Lij's face as Dom forces him to take more and more. The pained bliss of Elijah's expression as Dom pumps into his mouth sends Dom over the edge, the first spurt almost buckling his knees.

Tugging sharply at Elijah's hair, he quickly pulls his cock out, gleaming red and wet, trailing saliva and shooting semen-- the second pulse coating Elijah's lips, the third spattering on his cheek, more dotting the bridge of his nose and flooding onto his chin.

Lij gapes like a fish, and he chokes on surprise as he tries to heave in breath through the layers of pain and shocked want, blinking dumbly against the fall of thick drops of spunk that Dom directs onto his face. He'd surge forward, but Dominic's got a hand fisted in his hair too tight.

Mesmerized by the pearly effect of his come on Elijah's face, Dominic relaxes his grip, touching the drops on Elijah's cheek with fascination. Lij makes a noise, some sort of growl of frustration, pushing his pelvis against Dom's shins with a complete lack of dignity. His prick bats at Dominic's knee like a frantic animal, nudges presses rolls warm and hard and --done, that's it, by the time Dom thinks of taking a step back to prevent it, Elijah's coming anyhow, his face gone slack under the obscene traces, his mouth open on throaty satisfied gurgles.

Dominic catches his breath and pulls at Elijah's hair again. "I didn't give you leave to do that," he says sternly.

Again, Elijah gapes. He looks up after a last spasm. Dominic has an ominous look on his face, painted over twitches of mirth. Keeping the mask up is harder now, obviously, with his bones turned to jelly; Elijah wavers and quavers and bats his eyelashes.

"Uhm."

"And what do you think you deserve for that?"

"Gosh," tries Lij, clearing his throat, "I wouldn't know..." Not very convincing; kind of hard to believe he normally gets paid to act. "Maybe a, mm, spanking?"

"You just had one," Dom remarks, dryly. "It doesn't seem to have brought about any improvement!"

Lij throws any attempt at realism to the winds, launching into renewed improv with all the conviction of the highly amused. Fuck seriousness and skill, there's a time-- say, post-orgasmically-- when goofing off instead is clearly the best choice. He jerks his chin higher, straightens his shoulders.

"With all due respect, Sir, I think a second application of any remedy is a-- a, um," a moment's flounder, "--a recommended medicinal method. Yes." He grins. "By the... doctors."

For a split second Dom hangs on to his forbidding expression, but then he bursts out laughing, his face splitting into a huge grin. "By the doctors!" Still chuckling, he holds out his hands to Elijah. "Come here, you madman. Your punishment is a shower. I'll clean you up and scrub you down."

"And lick my face too?" Lij rises, using Dom's hands to pull himself up. "It's getting kinda sticky." Dom squints at him like he's trying to look menacing again, and failing by a mile; Elijah giggles shortly. "C'mon, we'll trade, I'll lick your leg clean..." He sticks out his tongue at Dom and sprints in the direction of the bathroom.

Endless Summer

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:36:41 GMT

At present Elijah is off living the glamourous jetsetting life of an international movie star, kicking up his heels in cloudy, chilly NYC.

Me, I'm stuck swotting away at it here, basking on the beach day in and day out.

Tragic, innit?

Why does anyone ever film anywhere but Oahu, that's what I don't understand. Though I suppose if that happened, Oahu would be just like LA... Picture me ashen-faced as I realise what I'm saying.

OAHU IS JUST AWFUL. IT IS FAR TOO SANDY. And the place is absolutely lousy with surfers. No, no, you wouldn't like to film here, it won't do at all.

Do come visit though. Just leave the LA traffic and smog and all that well behind!

Delicious

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 00:53:23 GMT

Since we visited Manchester the summer before last, my parents have adopted Elijah wholeheartedly as a son-in-law(-to-be), which is wonderful, of course.

Though it does have the occasional drawback. Today I had an email from my mum. She saw photos of Elijah from the convention he went to a couple of weeks ago. He's looking quite thin these days, as he's been working out for his Iggy Pop role, so he's very lean and just beginning to put on more muscle.

My mum accused me of failing to feed him properly.

She sent recipes.

Most of them puddings.

I'm composing a reply which prominently features the phrase "under a doctor's care". Meanwhile, we're both keeping a very healthy diet for work, but here I am, mouth watering for lemon cream pavlova. If we have it for breakfast and then go surfing, it should burn right off...

Keep the Red Flag flying high

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 02:47:37 GMT

RIP George Best.

He'll be missed, and never forgotten.

Le Blue Boy (Dom/Elijah, June 28 2004 retcon)

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:51:45 GMT

[Voyeurs only. June 28, 2004 retcon, during a visit to Dom's family in Manchester.]

*

Dom kneels on the edge of the bed, stretching to reach the elderly television. Shutting it off with an electric snap, he asks, "Did you know La Blue Girl was about a girl's tender love affair with loads of demonic tentacles?"

"I did know," Elijah laughs. "Why?"

Examining the DVD box, Dom collapses back against the piled-up pillows stacked against the headboard and lifts his arm so that Elijah can duck under it and curl up against his side. "I dunno, I s'pose I didn't look very closely at this. I'd heard it was a classic and we were in the mood for anime, so I thought we'd hire it... but I just thought it was something about, you know, a sad girl."

Elijah has a hard time not completely cracking up; he settles for raising his eyebrows sardonically. "Oh yeah?"

"Imagine my surprise!"

Biting back more giggles, Lij says, "Oh, I'm picturing it!"

Dom blinks and shakes his head. "I ask you!"

Rubbing his cheek against Dom's shoulder, Elijah hums, "Mmm, I like when you ask me." He trails his fingers along Dom's forearm. "What are you asking me, this time?"

"You knew what this was, eh?" Dom asks, lacing his fingers with Lij's. "So why'd you agree to hire it, for a laugh, or are we adding creepy crawlies to our kinks?"

"We're just... getting acculturated in the ways of. Um. Contemporary stuff?" Elijah grins. "Seriously, you picked it up, for one. I thought you should see it if you'd never seen it... Plus I knew what it was but I'd only seen bits, never the whole-- well, a whole bit. So. With your folks outta the house it seemed like a good idea for today."

Dominic glances at him curiously and slowly upsets their balance, spilling Elijah onto his back and crawling on top of him, straddling him. "Just curious, eh?"

Unconsciously licking his lips, Elijah nods.

"No naughty fantasies about tentacles...?" Dom prods. He braces his arms on either side of Elijah and leans to lick his ear.

Elijah squirms briefly. In a low voice he admits, "Maybe... a little bit?"

"Mmmm, now why would you beat around the bush about that with me?" Dom squeezes his legs around Elijah's thighs, drops his hands to circle Lij's wrists. "Honestly."

Huffing sharply, Elijah protests, "Huh-- not. Just. It's not tentacles, really." He flexes his thighs and arms, testing Dom's hold to feel it better, twisting his wrists fractionally. "It's not monsters, I don't think."

"No?" Dom nuzzles his neck. "What, then?"

Elijah shivers. "It's... not the alien thing, Other and... stuff. Tentacles maybe, but it's more. Like... a lot of touch. Multiple hands-or-things to be," he swallows, "uh. Taken with?"

"Yeah?" Dom teases his mouth with almost-kisses. "So is it the same sort of thing as when we've done threesomes? Or the night I took you to the club to hold you while other people had you?"

Hitching a little wanton sigh, Elijah nods and says quietly, "Yeah. Close."

"We might be able to try something like that, just the two of us. With the proper supplies." Dom snogs Elijah thoroughly, til they're both groaning a little when they tear apart.

"Oh?" Elijah asks between new warmwet kisses. "How?"

"Well... some of our bondage gear could make you feel gripped and held... and we could use toys to give you that overstuffed sort of sensation." He grinds against Lij in emphasis. "Overwhelmed. It'd have to wait til we're at the Establishment again, or til we're home with all our gear. But if I tie you down, nicely stretched out, fit you with a dildo and use your mouth. Seems as though that might be the same sort of thing."

"Sort of, yeah. Plays on-- fuck. Yeah, on the same things. But live..." Elijah licks Dom's neck, breathes him in, close. "Live's different. Flesh is."

"'Course," Dom agrees, rubbing cheek-to-cheek, affectionate as well as sexual. "But shy of going out and roping in a third person to hold you down... well. An acceptable substitute?" He lets go of Lij's wrist to grope and stroke him, hand spanning his dick over denim. "Or maybe we can do without. Would you rather just fantasize while I touch you? Like this..." he grips harder, twining his legs around Elijah's, tangling up with him, close and warm.

Elijah stutters and arches into the touch, eyes closed, keeping his arms exactly where they were before Dom let him go. "Mmm-- yeah-- works, that works..." His arousal simmering in the background from watching the film grows and grows, tendrils of fantasy fleshing out steadily with it.

"That's good... stretch your hands up for me, right up here," Dom snaps his fingers just over Lij's head, "so I can hold both your wrists."

Lij does, his eyes open wide now, watching Dom raptly, the intent on his face.

Dom wraps his fingers to make Lij feel as held as possible, not his strongest grip, but wide, covering as much as he can reach. "All wrapped up, hm? Just picture it--" he nips at Elijah's lower lip, "all those twisty limbs holding you down, touching you..." he lifts himself up, sliding along Lij's chest, and forces his knee between Lij's thighs to part them, his other hand squeezing hard.

Eyes screwed shut again, half from the gripping touch and half to sink deeper into the fantasy, Elijah moans low, "Yeah... Yes. Please."

Licking his neck, Dom unbuttons Elijah's fly. "Shhhh. You can ask, but nice and low, yeah?" He reaches in Elijah's jeans, hand twisted and pressed snugly against him between the barely parted flaps. He strokes, firmly, surely. "And any minute there'll be another one going across your mouth," he snogs Elijah, sucking and nibbling his lips til they're swollen, to make the feeling last. "Mm, like that, and it doesn't stop..." he mouths down Lij's neck, his whole body moving against Lij's in time with his hand, "winding round you everywhere, feel it?"

"Oh God, yeah-- It's nngh, good. Yeah," Elijah writhes slowly, shuddering a little. The raspy, sweet constriction of his clothes rubbing on his skin adds to it, his t-shirt bunched and twisted, Dom's warmth seeping through.

"Shhh." Dom keeps it up, steadily increasing the pace, grinding his own erection against Lij's hip; he snogs him again roughly, tongue thrusting in deep.

Forcing himself to relax, Elijah sucks air in, opening up, spreading his legs wider on the bed to feel the inseams of his jeans press against him hard. Dizzy, he moans, arousal racheting up as fatigue burns down his arms from holding his wrists up high.

"Everywhere." Dom pushes Lij's wrists further back, letting his fingers slide down Lij's arms, filling his mouth with aggressive kisses and pumping him relentlessly with his other hand. "That's it, I want you to feel that everywhere."

Boneless and warm, Elijah makes little sounds of helpless pleasure deep in his throat. He feels it, he does, more contact than there really is: sensations magnified and fueled by the power of imagination, by the play between sheer erotic tension and the relief that Dom picked up on this, this half-buried desire.

When Dom's hand steals between the bed and his ass, reaching into his waistband and tightening the denim everywhere around his groin, the tips of Dom's long tapered fingers sliding between his asscheeks, the prickly heat in Lij's balls spikes up unexpectedly high, oh, higher-- Elijah's whole body tenses, shuddering weakly as pleasure slashes through him, a flashflood that steals his breath and drowns the vague pictures in his head.

Dom eases into a shallower kiss, drinking down all Lij's faint noises, petting his inner arms. "That's good, baby. So good." Amazingly fast, as well. Elijah's face still has a glazed and dreamy look-- dreamy, but not distant. His arms fall around Dom's neck, fingers twining at the back of Dom's hair.

"Love those hands," Lij purrs, kissing him. "And you."

"I love you too. And your mouth..."

Dom urges Lij to stretch out. He unbuttons his trousers and gestures. "All right?"

Elijah nods, pawing at Dom's fly ineffectually before catching himself. "Fuck yeah." Lower, he adds, "Please." If anything could be said to have been missing moments earlier it was that, the feel of solid, living velvety flesh in his mouth, filling him up; the beat of a racing pulse against his lips and the willing inside of his cheeks.

Dom opens his fly and plants his knees on either side of Elijah, positioning himself. Holding his own hard-on in one hand, loosely, he pauses just a breath away and traces the shape of Elijah's still-swollen mouth with his thumb.

Darting his tongue out, Elijah laps at the pad of Dom's thumb, pursing his lips then letting them fall parted, lax under the caress, humming low. This close now, the scent of Dom is intoxicating, well overpowering the mingled smells of the little room, its mixed atmosphere of faded furniture and fresh synthetic flower perfume; Lij's mouth wets with saliva, wanting, yearning for it.

With a pleased, lazy smile, Dom leans forward, watching intently as his cock pushes between Elijah's lips. Lij's eyelids close, lashes dark against his cheek, his face flushing pink; Dom cups Elijah's cheek to feel how his mouth and jaw work as he takes Dom in.

Slowly Elijah leans into the touch of Dom's hand, tonguing the underside of his cock. He purses his lips as Dom slides forward, sinking deep into his throat. Lij parts his legs a bit wider to better feel Dom's heels against his thighs, the press of legs on either side of him, enjoying the sense of Dom's weight over him, a moan vibrating in his mouth when Dom pulls back a couple of inches.

"Your mouth is so perfect for this... drives me mad to see it, every single time," Dom murmurs, swaying his hips back and forth just a bit, pushing in and out slowly, letting the inevitable orgasm slowly build as he eats the sight up with his eyes.

It all works out

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 17:13:55 GMT

[Public]

Well, we're back in Oahu from the Emmys, a bit weighed down with statuettes.

I'd just like to say now that I'm quite willing to loan myself out to large undertakings as a mascot of sorts. The first big project I was involved in got its due in Oscars after three years; the second got its gold in just one. At this rate my next big project will get an award before we ever start filming.

In seriousness though, I feel terrifically blessed and grateful that the show's such a success, because it means I get to keep doing what I love with a fantastic cast, living in one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

Three or four years ago, I was quite mopey and moody-- I thought I might've left the happiest time of my life behind me in New Zealand. I've never been so glad to be so wrong. My life has changed in so many positive ways since that low stretch.

Of all the good things that have happened and all the good fortune I've had, the best of everything has been falling in love and being in love, living it, with the most amazing person I've ever known. Being with Elijah makes me feel as though I can do anything, and everything's getting better and better all the time. And now, as you all know already-- awards quite apart, I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Au revoir

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 12:04:41 GMT

[Public, Saturday afternoon]

I seem to be out of the habit of using this journal. I've been writing quite a lot recently; working on a new version of the eternal screenplay project with Billy, for one. And it's been a reflective summer for me.

But I always used to write my thoughts in physical journals, and I seem to have flown completely back into their pencil and paper embrace. I've been reaching for them first and scrawling everything into them, practically every day.

Probably quite a bit of that is due to my having graduated, somewhat, from therapy. I began with weekly conversations with Patrice, plus homework-- usually, a writing assignment. Then it was every two weeks, then monthly check-ins. Now it's a 'phone me if you need me' sort of arrangement. Which is brilliant. But those writing assignments were mostly what I wrote here, so that I could keep track of them for myself and easily copy and paste them into email to her.

Now that I don't have to copy the text out for therapy, I have to admit, I do prefer paper journals really. I can use different colours, draw in them, paint, tape ticket stubs and receipts in, press leaves...

Any road, I don't suppose anyone will notice much whether I go on using this or not; I'll still be in touch as much as ever. Just probably won't be updating much here.

XOXOXOX!

Gift for c_a_moss

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 08:19:05 GMT

Pumpkin Glass bangle bracelet, hand crocheted with handmade beads: black iris glass seed beads and a sprinkling of dewdrops in blues, greens and purples.

Enclosed note:

Happy birthday! Big kisses to you and your family!
XOXOX
Dominic & Elijah

Roughing It Up (D/E, August 3rd backdated)

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 22:34:38 GMT

[Voyeurs; August 3rd backdated]

*

"I think I put too much sugar in my coffee," Elijah says, jumping up and down on the bed.

So much for lying in. Dom turns onto his back and stretches, watching as Elijah tigger-bounces about. Though Dom's still in bed, there's no danger of being trampled. It's an Establishment hotel room, after all, so the bed is acres wide.

"Too much sugar? We'll have to sweat it out of you, detox you. Now, let's see, how can I make you sweat?" he pretends to ponder the question, waiting for Elijah's feet to bounce back into reach.

The moment Lij is close enough, Dom grabs his ankle and yanks, bringing him down in one last massive bounce on the mattress. Tackling and straddling him, Dom pins down his arms and admonishes him, "That's distracting. I'm trying to think."

Elijah squirms, muscles flexing to feel Dom's weight, grinning like a loon. "Okay!" Grinding down against him, Dom licks him methodically, teasing his ear and throat and mouth til Elijah's babbling, "Oohmmm. Still-- thinking?" He struggles to get his wrists free for a grope.

Dom only holds him down more firmly. "Yeah, still thinking." He rolls off to stretch out beside Lij, still gripping his wrists, legs slanted to keep Lij still.

"That's not-- fair! I'm the one with extra energy to burn, and I can't move any-- mooore, ngh." Elijah wriggles and pouts, not really trying very hard. "At least let me kiss you while you think? Pleasepleaseplease?"

"If you think as well," Dom allows, moving into kissing range. "What're we going to do to with all that energy?"

Elijah kisses him instead of helping with an answer; he's sloppy and rough, and clearly no higher-brain functions are engaged.

Dom's enjoying it but he backs off nonetheless to chide him. "I don't think you're really considering the question at hand."

"Too giddy to think," Lij whines, pursing his mouth, his neck straining for more.

"Maybe I should just let you up and set you loose on me."

Vaguely pouting still, Elijah considers that. "We could... go see if there's a fun class? Singletail, rope bondage, temporary piercings? Something to focus hard on, possibly one of the more physical things." As Dom listens to him and relaxes his hold a bit, Lij surges forward to steal the kiss he wanted. "Mmm. Or! I could spank you."

"You could," Dom agrees, starting to smile. "Or I wouldn't say no to a class."

Still bouncy, Elijah gets up on his knees and hops, shaking the bed. "A class would be fun! Yeah?"

"Yeah, then, let's," Dom says, giving up his hold on Lij's wrists.

Elijah rolls over him first, dropping enthusiastic kisses all over his face and throat in a hyper staccato. "Yes yes yes yes yes. Let's."

After a few minutes of snogging, Dom finally points out, "You will, unfortunately, have to get off me so we can go down the club and see what's on offer."

"That is unfortunate." Elijah slides off his body reluctantly.

Heaving himself up, Dom loops an arm around Lij's waist, kissing him. "All right then. Give me ten to get presentable and down we go."

*

Thirteen minutes later Elijah's sugar high hasn't abated yet and he's tugging Dom through the door to the staircase, bypassing the elevator because it's for "lazy pussies, c'mon, Dommie, hophop!"

They trot down the carpeted stairs and end up in a side corridor instead of the lobby.

"Look at that, now we're lost, you silly goose."

"No we're not. We just have to-- oh look," Lij maneuvers Dom with a firm grip on his arm, backing him up against the wall, "a handy nook for groping!" He pins him there, next to a small table and the extravagant vase full of orchids and right under a lamp, rocking against him while he sucks his tongue.

Dom kisses him back enthusiastically, happy for another chance to snog in semipublic. They've been taking full advantage of the PDA possibilities of living in the Establishment hotel, eating in the restaurant, and drinking in the club, but he never gets tired of it.

Elijah licks his neck and nibbles his earlobe, growling faintly. "We need to move, check the billboard..." he mutters, kissing him more anyway, grinding against him.

"I'm not stopping you. You're pinning me this time," Dom smirks, but he's soon breathing faster, grabbing Lij's arse and kneading him through his tight jeans.

"Hell yeah you're stopping me, with the sexy breathing and shit," Elijah says, and bites his mouth.

"Mph--" Dom tears away with an effort and puts his hands up. "See? Not my fault, not even a bit. The way is clear." Teasing Elijah with a snicker, Dom licks his lips with a come-hither look, giving Lij the full benefit of his lowest, sexiest tone. "Nothing keeping you here."

Elijah hesitates, tempted-- of course-- and leveling a fake resentful glare at Dom. Eventually, groaning under his breath, he takes a step back and turns on his heel, breaking into a run to the end of the hallway with a cry. "C'mon, race you!"

Dom loses the race but thinks better of whining and crying foul. He wanders closer as Elijah stops in front of the boards. "What shall we learn? Rope bondage was an interesting suggestion... piercing class, mm," he studies the list, eyes skipping from heading to heading. "I think we can skip Intro to Anal Sex."

"We can," Lij nods with a smirk. "Sensual massage... Seems nice, but not really energetic. What do you say?"

"The state you're in, you'd massage my shoulders entirely off my body, I think. Do they have a Sexual Boxing course?"

"There's a Roughing It Up thing," Elijah points to the card, peering closer, "what's in that?"

"Basic wrestling techniques, judo holds and flips, and sparring tips to safely engage in rough sex play," Dom reads. "Sounds like that'll do us nicely."

"Great!" Elijah joggles up and down on his toes and leans to snog Dom energetically. "What time? They still taking people in?"

"In an hour and a half, aaaand, still taking signups. We can sign up for it and kill time in the bar. I could do with a smoothie. I miss my favorite stand in Oahu."

"Sure, yeah, good call. Let's go put our names in at the desk then."

*

The course is a bit basic at the start. The instructor spends a lot of time explaining and demonstrating how to do controlled falls, a skill both Dom and Elijah have already mastered.

Elijah can't stop touching Dom gently while the instructor speaks, despite being there for a course in roughhousing. "What happened to all that jumpy energy?" Dom murmurs, nuzzling his jaw.

"'M channeling it to kick your ass later," Lij murmurs back, dropping a kiss under Dom's ear. Pulling back fractionally, he winks. "Focusing internally, like." His hands wander softly to squeeze Dom's ass.

"Just you wait," Dom says. "I've been reading a book on Unleashing the Kiss Monster Within. You'll never know what hit you."

Frowning a bit, Elijah pretends to ponder... Then his whole face lights up in mock-sudden understanding.

"A Kiss Monster?"

For a rare moment, Dom's completely stymied and silent, his brow crinkling in consternation as Elijah tries not to laugh.

Finally putting on a stern expression to imply he absolutely meant to do that, Dom regroups, rather lamely, with, "You'll never know... which part of what hit you, hit you."

Lij stifles more giggles and snakes his arm around Dom's waist. Nuzzling his neck, he lets a few seconds pass, waiting for Dom to forget a little before he guesses, "The mouth?"

Dom grins and pulls Lij a bit closer, snogging him. Elijah goes willingly but darts his eyes around, not wanting to get called on for inattention. The instructor's busy with other people, though, and soon Elijah's tightening his hold around Dom, hand splayed on his back, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Of course, at that exact moment the instructor raises her voice. "So let's see everyone try a controlled fall again, please."

Dom lets his knees go out and pulls Lij down on top of him as he falls, laughing.

"Whu--" Elijah catches himself with his free hand and barely avoids kneeing Dom in the groin at the last moment. "Dude!" He moves off and pokes him in the chest, grinning first, then baring his teeth in menace. "Looking for trouble?"

Dom pinches him. "Isn't that what the class is all about?"

"Ya gonna get your share," Lij swats his arm away, nods. "Don't worry."

The instructor's feet come in his view and Lij gets up, vaguely guilty, pulling Dom after him.

"Good fall," she tells them, and proceeds to use Dom to demonstrate judo throws, showing Elijah how to tuck and bend and fall in the reverse position.

"Can I flip him over, too?" Lij asks her. "Like, over my back? Please?"

"That's the next step of complexity. First we teach you both how to be thrown over someone's shoulder... You need to be thrown as well to learn the move," she shows the class again how to roll and tuck as they hit the ground.

Elijah rolls happily, springing back up after each throw, but still impatient to get to the part where he can flip Dom over his shoulder.

"Now this is how to do seoye-nage, the shoulder throw," the instructor tells Elijah, standing opposite him and slowly taking him through the steps so that the class can see each movement.

"With the-- right hand there, okay. Oh! Yes, kind of-- blocking the ankle?"

"Not blocking, just planting and shifting your weight," she explains. "Yes? Good. Now you try."

Dom mugs at him, putting on mock big weepy eyes, folding his hands together.

Smirking, Elijah gets into position opposite him. "You're going down, Dommie, just like that. No mercy from this quarter."

Getting more properly into place, Dom goes on joking, "Be gentle with me, it's my first time."

"Awwwww," Elijah rolls his eyes and kisses him. "I will." Shuffling his hands and feet, he checks with a glance at the instructor that he's doing it right, and grabs Dom's outstretched arm, pivoting and flipping Dom over with absolutely no special gentleness. Even though Dom automatically rolls as soon as he hits the mat, he still lands with a loud thump. "Oops?" Elijah grins.

Dom comes out of his roll and springs up, dancing back and forth in a boxing posture. "That all you got?"

Ignoring their antics, the instructor goes to help others, spending time on individuals and couples to guide them through the steps.

"I got more! But we're not at the boxing stage yet," Elijah ducks and weaves, getting closer while avoiding Dom's fists. "'S your turn, now, flip me!"

Dom complies, easily throwing Elijah over his shoulder. "I just wish I could see you going down when I do this. You do excellent falls."

"Yeah?" Lij bounces up, springy on his toes, shaking his head a bit. "'S all that Frodo training, man, falling on rocks. Then the Sin City wirework, now that was fun. I like it." He keeps bouncing around, jabbing Dom in the ribs repeatedly. "So, what next? What now, huh?"

"I could show you a few Wu Shu moves..." Pivoting, Dom moves behind him, grabbing Lij's hips and pulling him close, murmuring into his ear. "You'll have to let me move you a bit to demonstrate how you ought to do it."

The maneuver's not enough to calm him down, and Lij goes on jittering up and down on his feet. "Mmyeah, okay. But no sneaky low moves, or you'll pay for them!"

Dom can't help himself. "What, low moves like this?" he asks, digging his fingers under Lij's arms to tickle him.

Flailing wildly, Elijah elbows him backwards in the chest. "Stopit!"

"Make me," Dom grins, going on tickling. "You just learnt how!"

Gritting his teeth on his giggles, Elijah shifts and turns to evade him a bit. Finding the right position, he flips Dom again, panting a little. "There!" He dusts off his hands. "'I'll show you WuShu', my ass."

"I had good intentions!" Dom says, picking himself up. "You provoked me!"

"I did no such thing! You're a sneaky pervert, that's all." He sticks his tongue out.

"Tch!" Dom sweeps his legs around connect with Lij's ankles, toppling him off his feet.

Unsurprised this time, Elijah catches himself on hand and elbow on his side and immediately rolls over to hover above Dom, using the fall's momentum. "Agressive, huh? Did that infamous leash come off the Monster now, is that it?" Decisively, he straddles Dom's thighs, reaching for his wrists to try and pin him down.

Starting to growl in response, Dom interrupts himself with laughter as he tries to evade being pinned, which isn't that hard. Lij changes tack, though, tipping over to smother him with his whole body and growling right back; his sneaky fingers pinch Dom's neck.

Softly, in a tone that makes obvious it's not a complaint, Dom ows and leans upward to kiss Elijah, his mouth warm and welcoming. Lij takes it, demandingly, tongue circling Dom's and exploring every recess; it's a little while before he pulls away with a lick.

"Show me WuShu?"

"As you like," Dom nods, all obedience and softness now, hesitating slightly before their lips touch again, leaving Lij with time to disagree and stop it.

He doesn't.

Things.txt

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 13:18:50 GMT

~~[Private]~~ [Moved to offline diary file]

I did a phone call with Patrice last week. Those are getting rarer and rarer, which seems a good sign. I told her that aside from a couple of downturns over work stuff, I've been happy for a good long stretch now, and that I'm really pleased to be on an even keel, more like I used to be.

Of course that prompted her to quiz me about when I 'used to be' steadier, less moody. And once she had me talking about it, it was hard to remember when I'd ever gone a period longer than a couple of weeks without getting awfully bunched up over something or other.

She said, "If you've been telling yourself that you shouldn't have such strong emotional reactions all the time, then you've been holding yourself to an unnatural standard for you. My impression of you has always been that you're a moody guy, and I think a stroll through your journals from any point in your life would hold that up."

Which... oddly enough, I mean, yeah. I know I can be moody, but I do tend to write it off to other things that're going on.

Patrice said, "Try to consider that maybe sometimes, you're just being moody. Maybe it's not because you're having allergies or a bad hair day. Maybe you're just in a bad mood."

"Yeah, but... who wants to think like that?" I asked. "Then there's nothing you can do to make it better, is there. You just have to wait it out."

"But at least that way you're not blaming some external situation for an internal state," she said. "It's good that you've gotten into better habits about examining your feelings and figuring out why you feel the way you do. You've made a huge amount of progress there. But you're not going to be able to justify your bad moods all the time. Sometimes you're just going to be in a snit. If you can trace back to what's causing it, great, but if you can't, maybe there isn't a reason. Maybe you're just a moody guy. That's fine, you just... learn to be okay with that."

All right, then. I think I can learn to be okay with that.

So... now, I'm not trying to justify a mood or borrow trouble or, heaven help me, 'create drama'. Only I'm thinking about logging in to Elijah's journal.

I don't know why, except. I wonder if maybe he's given any thought to some things, and if he has, I'd like to know. --Bugger it, I'm moving this off my journal and into a local file... there. I want to see if he's thought about proposing, or being proposed to, or rings, or anything like that. We've talked in sort of broad hypothetical terms about getting married, but not the specifics.

Obviously I don't want to pin it down and say "I'm going to propose to you soon, and is this ring all right?" But it would be nice to have a bit of confirmation that my plans aren't outrageously the exact wrong thing to do. I want this to be right. I've waited and waited because I wanted it to be right, and now... I feel like we're there. We're ready.

If I check his journal... maybe I could be more sure. If. I'll give it some more thought.

We

Sun, 31 Jul 2005 07:42:59 GMT

[Public]

We've been travelling quite a bit recently, London, Manchester, Glasgow with a side trip to Edinburgh, Manchester again, London again, and soon we'll be heading back to Edinburgh for the film festival for Elijah's European premiere of Green Street Hooligans.

We're busy and we're happy and I'm finding it difficult to budge out of the first person plural because we've been inseparable for a few weeks now. I wish it could always be this way. If all those pesky film productions would only just shoot in Hawai'i, we'd have it made.

I think part of what makes it work is that we can talk, but we can also not talk; we know how to keep out of each others' way. I mean, communication is key and that, but when Elijah's on his fourth phone conference of the day, I just pass the crisps and let him get on with it. And I can write and work out all I want in peace, unless I try to do too many ab crunches. That does tend to get me tackled and the virtues of a not-quite-washboard tum extolled in detail.

Yet despite all these good spirits, the Mental-O-Matic says I have: Major Depressive Sexual Hyperactivity, with Mania with Borderline tendencies, Substance abuse with uncomplicated ambivalent feelings, and severe, unchecked, rampant, murderous PTSD with Exxonesis.

Gosh. Sorry about that.

Email from Dom to Rachel

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 02:19:00 GMT

To: rachelweisz
From: notdom
Date: 29 July 2005
Subject: Re: Billy's stuff

Hiya Rachel,

I don't have bad feelings toward you, other than being terribly sorry that things haven't been working out between you and Billy. Every time I spoke to him while you were together, he was so happy.

Of course I can collect Billy's things. I wish you would meet with him yourself though. He's really gutted, you know? He told me the two of you had some big differences between you, but he also told me how much he misses you.

I hope you'll meet with Bill again, even if it's only to tell him there's no way to reconcile. At least that way you could part as friends. And if there is any way to solve things between you, I'd do anything to help-- please don't hesitate to phone or email. He's a good man and he deserves as many chances as you can give him.

Sincerely,
Dom

Ginger Snaps (D/E, June 16 retcon)

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 09:00:45 GMT

[Voyeurs only; takes place June 16]

*

Elijah comes back in the house rubbing his hands against each other; rummaging in the garage for that old box of dog toys he promised to send south to Oliver turned out more of a dusty-dirty job than he thought. He washes up in the kitchen and pats himself to dislodge more of the dust, then crosses to the lounge, checking in the hallway mirror on the way that his face and hair aren't covered in it.

Dom's sitting crosslegged on the sofa, laptop precariously balanced on one knee, tapping and clicking. Elijah sneaks up to peer at the screen from behind the back of the couch.

It shows an online order form for Godiva chocolate cigars; as Elijah peeks, Dom finishes with his hunt-and-peck typing of the note.

Welcome to the world, Olivia Beth Isaacs-Moss!

And congratulations, Carrie-Anne, Jason and Liam. Lots of love to the new addition to your family!

XOXOXOX,
Dom and Elijah

He clicks Send and closes, revealing other windows, a Star Wars parody and the Williams-Sonoma site, the mouse hovering as though he's not sure which to choose.

"Woohoo!" Lij exclaims, grinning wider as Dom's shoulders jump slightly and he turns his head in surprise. "Good idea. And you said welcome to her!" He straightens up from the half-crouch he adopted to see the screen, and scrambles over the back of the sofa to end up near Dom on the cushions, leaning for a kiss. "You're perfect."

"Hm?" Dom puts the laptop aside and kisses Lij, sliding an arm around his shoulders. "Hiya! Find all your dog stuff all right?"

"Yeah, all done. I was talking about the note. For baby Olivia?"

"Ah. Yeah. Well, she's here! It's exciting!" Dom smiles.

"I know!" Elijah bounces on the cushions a little. "And I think it's cool to address her directly also, to say welcome. I'm just... I was surprised you did that too. Debbie taught me to do it." He gives a little grin and climbs Dom, straddling him and cuddling close. "See, we match."

Dom holds Lij, tipping his head up to meet him in another kiss. "No surprise there."

"Mm. Makes me happy," Elijah says, quietly. There's something moving about the way Dom sent the gift, not just that similar way of addressing the baby... but also, how he didn't even hesitate to send it in both their names without consulting Elijah. Instead of feeling dismissed or ignored, Lij is touched to think they're comfortable enough together now that these things happen, all naturally.

"Good." Dom kisses him again, sweetly. "That's what it's all about, yeah?"

"Yep. Mmm. And you, need to make you happy too." Elijah scritches the back of Dom head, grins. "You cook more when you're happy."

"Do I?" Dom laughs, surprised. "I hadn't noticed. You must be really well-fed lately, then."

"I am! Very healthy, too, all those vegetables... But still, there's always more good food to be had," Lij nods, poking Dom's side.

"Yeah. I was just looking at kitchen stuff. Might buy a tomato press next time we're shopping. I was thinking of doing up a curry tonight." He wraps his arms around Lij and pulls him down on the sofa, til he's reclining with Lij on top of him, kissing him. "Sound good?"

"Curry always sounds good." Lij kisses back and squirms and wriggles, settling in a comfortable position, a little lower down with his head on Dom's chest. Dom pets his hair lightly. "What's a tomato press, exactly? We have a blender thing, to like, chop them up good. Doesn't work?"

"The press separates the skin and seeds out," Dom tells him. "I used them before in restaurant work, it's handy for doing sauces and that. I have time to make my own tomato sauce again! I love hiatus. It's like summer off from school."

"Mmm." Elijah burrows yet lower against him, rucking Dom's shirt up to nose at his belly. Summer off from school is a vague past thing now, and to him it was always more work time anyhow, additional time free for filming. "Hello, sweet soft belly," he murmurs nonsensically to Dom's skin, licking a wet stripe under his navel.

"Oi! It's not soft," Dom protests with a laugh. "It's firm and muscular, thank you very much."

Elijah nibbles along the texture of Dom's treasure trail. "It's muscular and firm and layered with softness. It's perfect," he says, and smushes his face against it, his cheek pressed to the warmth of Dom's stomach.

"Glad it suits you," Dom says, bemused, "it's the only one I have."

The caress of his hand on Elijah's head slows down and stops; Elijah levers on an elbow, coming back up for a kiss. "I wouldn't want no other," he bites Dom's bottom lip softly, pulls on it a little as their mouths part. "Dommie-belly! The original tummy pie!"

With a snort, Dom kisses him; he goes on chortling throughout a series of snogs, his abs bouncing taut under Lij's hand.

Drumming his fingers on it, Lij grins. "Yeah. Perfect."

Dom licks him. "I like your stomach awfully well myself. And the rest of you." He strokes Lij's cheek with a fond smile.

"Good. 'Cause it's also the only me I have." Lij grins. "Sooooo, when are we cooking? Someone promised ginger snaps," he says decisively, "last week! Which I deserve." He nods. "Also, kisses."

Kissing him again, Dom remarks, "We both deserve them! I'll make them as soon as this lovely lump gets off me."

"What lump?" Elijah looks around, cranes his neck to glance behind him. "There's a lump in here? Hold me," he clutches Dom's arms with a fearful face, "I'm lumpophobic."

"I know that's not true," Dom answers dryly, "you love a mirror."

Mock-indignant, Elijah goes up on hands and knees. "This is what I get for complimenting your belly? Ingrate!" and he retaliates with a brutal tickling attack.

"That's what you get for lying on my legs-- ahahah!-- and telling me to make ginger snaps!"

Elijah moves higher above him, tickling more. "I'll make you suffer! No more compliments! I'll eat all the ginger snaps!"

"This is chef abuse!" Dom writhes, laughing. "You can't make me bake cookies and then eat them all! It's too cruel!"

Stopping, Elijah leans to kiss him, hard this time. "Mmm, chef abuse. Me wants." Dom kisses back, relaxing and yielding gradually to the forceful snog, and Lij starts in on his shirt buttons. Peppering more gentle kisses on his cheek and jaw and neck, Lij offers, low, "So we'll get you naked, and then we'll get you into your apron, or whatever it's called... and I'll feast my eyes on your ass while you cook, yeah?"

"And what do I get out of all this?" Dom inquires.

Fondling him, Elijah proposes, "My undivided, fascinated attention?"

Put that way, Dom can hardly resist. "Well then, what're we waiting for?"

Lij grins and gets up, pulling on Dom's pantlegs to prompt him out of them. "We're not waiting at all, chop chop, nakedness!"

Chuckling, Dom unbuttons his jeans and lets Lij tug them off, standing up and stripping out of his half-open shirt and socks.

With a happy sigh, Elijah touches him some more, his hands magnetized to all the marvelously available skin. "So nice."

Walking backwards, he manages to get them both to the kitchen, taking small steps between gropes and kisses. Dom dons his apron and sets out to work; contrary to his intention to sit down and take simple voyeuristic pleasure in watching him prepare the dough, Elijah keeps close behind him, fiddling with the knot of the tie at Dom's waist, alternately kneading his ass and sucking on his earlobe.

He gets swatted for distracting the cook sometimes, the pâtissier even, Dom provides in French, but it's all worth it, especially for the pauses Dom takes to lean back against Lij's chest, the little kisses and shared tastes of the ingredients.

The cookies are done and cooling, Elijah hovering over them buzzard-like, when the phone rings. Dom picks up; after his initial cheery "Hiya! Yeah, I have time, just a mo," he hits the mute button for a moment. "Parents," he says. "Now, why do I feel as though I ought to get dressed again?"

Lij grins. "Say hi for me?"

He waves Dom off, reaching for a cigarette, and returns to his fascinating, self-appointed task of eyeballing the cookies intently to make them cool faster.

Eventually he moves off with a sigh to retrieve his paperback in the lounge, comes back to settle to keep watch with it. Finally, after a full chapter worth of reading with Dom's voice drifting in muted from the bedroom, the cookies feel cool enough to eat.

Well, or, cool enough not to completely burn his tongue.

Dom returns from his phone call-- he did put on underwear, to Elijah's amusement, though the clingy boxer briefs are almost as provocative as nudity. "They say hiya," Dom says, "so, hiya!"

Elijah crunches his ginger snap, mouth full. "Hyooo!"

Laughing, Dom comes close, nuzzling Lij's neck. "Mm, how are they?"

"Fantastic! M'alllll sugared up! Gingered up! Happy!" Elijah bounces, colliding with Dom on the apex of a bounce to steal a kiss. "Ginger snap, love?" he holds up a cookie.

"I dunno if I want one," Dom says. "I know what's in those."

"...Oh." Lij looks at the cookie in his hand with a suspicious frown. "Should I be worried?"

"That depends. How many have you eaten?"

Elijah moved the entire batch from the oven plate to a serving dish, so it's not immediately obvious how many of the little round things are missing. He covers his upper lip with the bottom one, counting in his head. "Eight?"

It's more like ten, maybe. He's not sure. He's got good reasons: they're small, and tasty; eating just one or two wouldn't be possible.

Dom sighs heavily and hugs Lij tight. In a quavering voice, he sniffs, "I want you to know I'll always, always love you..."

Lij bites him sharply, protests, "I will not let this food kill me-- Ooooh," realization dawns on his face, "You made them! You're trying to kill me?" His teeth dig harder in Dom's neck, his fingers pinching Dom's thigh through the fabric of the boxers.

"I didn't know you were going to eat eight in one go!" Dom imitates Orli as Legolas: "After all, one ginger snap is enough to feed a full-grown man for a week."

Laughing, Lij attempts to forcefeed him the cookie in his hand, pushing it into Dom's mouth. Grinning, Dom relents and takes it in, chewing enthusiastically; immediately Elijah tries to add another one in his mouth with the emphatic declaration, "If I'm going down, you're coming with me."

"Oh no, not another ginger snap, the horror--" Dom eats that one too, more slowly, tasting it properly.

"Mmm, soon you'll be as doomed as me."

"All it needs is tea," Dom decides. "That would be perfect! Potentially fatal, but perfect. I'll put the kettle on."

Elijah gets down the cups and honey, jumps when Dom gooses him, and turns to the freezer. "Ice cream, too," he says. "Hm, we need to restock on frozen stuff."

"We can shop any time, far as I'm concerned. How's your schedule looking?"

"Good, okay. Free enough to shop, anyway." Lij shrugs, closing the freezer and propping himself up against the door. "Too empty maybe. I knew that comedy thing probably wasn't going to work out, but now it's for sure. They delayed it again. All the story meetings are happening right when I'm doing the press for Illuminated, I told you, right? So I had to let that one go. But that means we can go to London, so it's all good."

"There's that, yeah," Dom says. He pours the steaming water into the mugs to steep. "That's going to be a bit dicey, innit? If we're in London just the two of us, after that tabloid business. Hard to hide that we're there together."

"...Maybe? I was thinking, well, we sort of manage here, and we'd go to the Establishment? We can't really drop in on the Isaacs-Moss-Neesons, with the baby and all... I. Do you really think it's more dicey than here?"

"In LA, it's like..." Dom leans against the counter, scrubbing a hand through his messy hair. "We both live in LA, publically, so it's not weird to be seen together here... I dunno, I'm rubbish at knowing what's too much, you know? I was talking to Kev a bit about the tabloid stuff, he was saying, what did we expect? Said it was weird for you to be in Oahu with me, of course someone's going to join up the dots."

Elijah fiddles with the ginger snaps on the plate, thinks about that. What did they expect, indeed. He can't not take offense somehow at the way it's been put-- weird to be in Oahu, fuck that-- though of course it's not Dom's own thought, not even Kevin's either.

Dom moves closer and runs a hand down his arm. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to harp on it, I know you hate it."

"Hey, whoa, no--" Elijah threads their fingers together, squeezes Dom's hand. "No, you're right, it's just the state of things. Gotta think about it sometimes. Yeah." They kiss, the briefest press of lips, both subdued and thinking. "Don't be sorry. It's nothing you're responsible for."

Dom doesn't answer, just winds his arms around Elijah and holds him. Lij nuzzles him, Dom's thin beard feathering softly under his lips. "Let's take this to the lounge, all right? Sit down with the tea and cookies and... think about things? We'll break out the beer later, if the sugar high's not helping?"

"Yeah. Good plan." Dom gives him a kiss and turns to fish out the teabags. He stirs in honey, picks up the cups and carries them to the lounge.

Folding his legs pretzel-style on the sofa, Elijah crunches another cookie between his teeth, thinking. "I really want to trust in, like, people's goodness," he says finally, sniffing at the steam from his tea. "That makes me naive, I guess? I keep hoping if we're... good, and, nice people, then we shouldn't have too many problems." He sighs. "It's not enough to wish it, though."

"Baby," Dom squeezes his knee, automatically reassuring him. "Even if we do have problems, we'll be all right."

"As long as we're together, I just. Don't want anything to drive us apart, like that. " Elijah covers Dom's hand with his own. "You see what I mean?"

Dom fidgets. "...I know. I'm afraid of that as well. I hate-- making you choose, you know? I hate to force a decision, like you have to choose me or your privacy, can't have both. It's not fair."

Putting his cup aside, Elijah puts his arm around Dom's shoulders. "It's not that, it's-- I don't think I have to choose. And I know what I can lose. I just think..." He takes a deep breath. "Let's, well, go on, loosen up a little again maybe, and hope for the best. Like you said, it was, urgh, suspicious for me to be in Oahu, well, and next it'll be suspicious we're in London together... We're taking risks. Maybe it'll pay off, maybe it won't. It's not a clear cut choice, is it? I mean, the choice is made, it's the... method, like, that's up in the air."

"What method?" Dom asks, his brow furrowing. "Method for what, being out? That's new."

"...I kinda thought we'd already decided that," Elijah says, confused. "I mean-- I. Uh. Okay."

"I thought our plan was to live as normally as we can without ever giving ourselves away," Dom shrugs.

"But we talked about it," Elijah replies, bewildered. "I did explain that loosening up and taking chances was my best plan for, like, seeing if staying under the radar would work, and I did mean that as... a process, like, for coming out. I thought that was understood."

"To me that sounded like a process for trying not to ever come out," Dom says. "To never do anything that outs us irrevocably. Never do anything that makes it undeniable that we're together."

"But we are living normally as we can and being together," says Elijah. "And that outs us to more people every day, in the grocery store, on the beach, to friends of friends... it'll always be deniable to someone, damn it. Unless nothing short of major tabloid story or like, Advocate exposure is a proper outing... I don't want to do some kind of Coming Out event," he flashes his hands open, "but that doesn't mean I think it's a way to not come out at all ever."

Dom shakes his head. "It seemed to me we've been doing everything necessary not to come out until we have to. To hide as much as we can til then. You didn't go with me to the Batman premiere. I didn't go with you to the LA Film Festival. So it doesn't feel as though we have a plan to come out."

"Well, we do, I do-- it's kind of upsetting," Elijah frowns. "I thought I explained all this in London a year ago. I mean, vaguely maybe, but still."

"I thought our plan was to avoid coming out for as long as we possibly could, and then grudgingly, eventually when we just can't help doing something that tips our hand, maybe we will." Dom doesn't mean to make the words so tart, but he's been holding back the ring for such a long time now, unsure if proposing marriage makes any sense when a wedding could tip the scales and out them.

Filing the papers for a civil partnership in England would put the closet behind them for good. Of course, they could always have a commitment ceremony without going through with anything official.

But he knows he'd feel cheated if they agreed to marry but never went through with the legal commitment that his country now finally permits.

"Excuse me if whatever I do that 'makes it undeniable' is something I might do grudgingly," Elijah says.

Dom doesn't answer, looking down at his hands, rubbing at a stray curlicue of ink with his thumb.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think we'd be inviting the press into our bedroom. Of course that would make it undeniable! Evidently! But that doesn't mean--" Elijah stops himself, aware that sarcasm and aggression will get them nowhere. It's hard to tame that anger, though, to rein in the bewilderment; he's genuinely shocked to find out they've been talking past each other all this time. "Oh, fuck. I can't even, I feel like-- It's not about you, yes? You know that? If I could tell the world and it wasn't guaranteed to bring us a load of problems, I would take out an ad in Variety. I'd talk about it on fucking Leno."

"Right."

"I would!" Elijah insists. "God-- Sorry. Just."

"Of course you would," Dom says, but it's toneless and flat. Elijah can't even tell if he's resigned or resentful, and not knowing makes the gap between them feel wider, more painful.

He still can't help his biting tone at first when he starts up again "...So, because having the tabs hounding us is something I'm afraid of, there's no nuances anymore. Listen, I'm wording things wrong, I'm sure, since apparently what I thought we'd decided a year ago wasn't at all what we'd decided, but-- I don't agree on that undeniable shit, whatever."

He leans forward, trying to get his words across to Dom. "Right now, if someone was asking me if we're together, I'd say yes. Just, not if that someone is a reporter. See the difference? And even then, I can't comfortably lie about it. I can just avoid the topic. So it's not-- it's already undeniable for me. We're just not advertising it. I was hoping we could go on as long as possible without advertising it to the world at large, but slowly making it clear to as many people as we know... And. I, I just thought... isn't that the plan?"

"Lij. It's deniable," Dom tells him, meeting his eyes. "If you're avoiding the topic, it's deniable. As long as we don't do anything that makes it definite, it can be denied. Which both our publicists have been doing."

"Okay, yeah." Elijah unfolds his legs and bounces his toes nervously on the carpet. "They did, to save us from the tabs. I'm not saying-- I just meant I wouldn't lie. I'm sure, if you're angry at me you can't see the difference, but there is one."

Dom sighs. "I do see the difference, I'm not angry at you. C'mere, it's okay," he opens his arms.

Settling into a better position, Elijah hugs him. "How did we-- how come it feels just like a year ago, like we never decided anything at all? Jesus fuck."

"I'm sorry." Dom's voice is low, intimate, close to his ear. "We're talking about the same thing, I think, even... I'm just seeing it in a pessimistic light. To you it's a strategy for coming out slowly, to me it feels like staying closeted as long as possible. And I mean, our tabloid scare sort of-- put it in that light, for me. Before that, even, I think I might've mostly seen it the same as you."

"Well, we did retreat. So, that whole inning, feeling bad and tasting of inning, that's kinda, yeah," Elijah murmurs, squeezing him. "Fuck. I know I need to build up to the point where tabs don't scare me as much. And, well, I keep hoping we might even avoid them, and-- it's childish, I suppose, I see how you'd-- resent it."

"I don't resent it, I don't resent you. I resent THEM for making us even think about them for a single fucking wasted second."

"I tried," Elijah says, and he hates that it comes out whiny and pouty, but... "Last year I was talking about coming out for real and getting it over with, you're the one that persuaded me it was dumb, so... I dunno."

It feels like a long time before Dom says anything else, quietly. "I was scared, Lij, I'm still scared. I'm terrified when we talk about this."

Elijah's scared, too, a sick twist in his guts refusing to fade; instead of saying it he can't help but ask Dom, murmuring, "Of what, of what exactly?"

Again, Dom stays silent at first, his heartbeat slow but erratic against Elijah's chest. "What else? Choosing the wrong thing, putting a foot wrong, making us miserable."

There's nothing to do but hold him and sigh and nod; they stay like this a bit, holding tight, Dom petting Elijah's shoulder. "Baby," Lij whispers eventually, rubbing their noses. "God, it's so fucking wretched. Don't want us to do that to ourselves..."

"I don't know what to do. I hate that it's such a-- I mean, Jude and Ewan are getting separate houses, and I can't do that. I can't." Dom laughs sadly, a bitter chuckle. "And I say that, but I've kept my flat all this time, haven't I, even if I never go there except to use it for storage."

Lij touches his face gently. "I know, but.. It's. You didn't even tell me you did, that kinda." He shrugs, disengaging a little from the tight embrace. "I would never-- ever, I promise. I can't do that either. I would've told you to ditch it ages ago, if I'd known." It's been weird and-- not very nice, if Elijah's honest-- to find out that Dom had kept his flat all along, and to find out because Dom happens to be lending it now to Evangeline.

"I never really worry about anything else," Dom says, "you know, being-- that hard-- I always think we'll be able to get through anything else. This is the one thing I'm still afraid of, that might--" Dom purses his mouth, refusing to even finish that sentence. "...So. Of course I kept the flat. I'll keep on doing if it seems like it'll help."

"Help.. uphold appearances?" Elijah frowns. "Don't-- I. There's no way," he can feel his cheeks heat up with the agitation, with nervousness and anguish as the words tumble too fast out of his mouth, choppy, urgent, "I'd let the tabs come and take pictures of the bathroom before I let you go-- I'd shake like a leaf for days being angry or scared but-- God, Dom, there's no-- there's no doubt. I'd-- Doubt about what to do and how to do it, sure, but-- about us? How could there, I can't even think about, like, about-- No."

Dom tries to put a brave face on it. "No. 'Course not." He sighs. "Only." Elijah frowns, but he clutches Dom and nods encouragingly. Struggling a bit, Dom goes on, "It's not just-- you hating the publicity, it's me and my problems as well, you know? I can't bear it if you're upset with me."

"I'm not-- I'm. Upset, not with you. It's like you, yeah? Not at me, just-- angry? At the situation?" Elijah kisses him, promising, "I'm not upset with you."

"But if I did the wrong thing, pushed for some decision that backfires on us..." It all seems clear enough to him. He'd be to blame, Elijah would be unhappy with him, Dom wouldn't be able to cope it out and he'd have to leave, and that would break Elijah's heart as well.

Elijah pulls back an inch to look him in the eye, serious, intent. "What if I did that? I don't do that well with your disapproval either... I don't want to take a step that makes us miserable any more than you do." He takes Dom's hands in his, weaving their fingers together tight again. "But.. we're kinda, we're taking all of the steps together, that's the point, the goal. Right? So whatever it turns out like, we-- we're both to blame. We're both in it together, and we can cope with it together too."

Dom's eyes stay clouded and dark, his mouth curved in a slightly skeptical, sad smile; Elijah feels the wind in his sails, the certainty, deflate a little. "Dommie, I. I just. We can't spend-- we can't live our life together if we're not, like, thinking of it like that, as us. To both deal with things. Right?"

"I know." Dom squeezes his hands, shifting as close as he can, nuzzling him. "I shouldn't be so fucking scared, you've given me every reason to have faith. It's not rational, you know? It's just... it just is. I'll try harder."

Lij kisses him, troubled still, and more even with this-- trying harder business. They need to try harder, together, find a way; it's not like it's Dom's duty to ignore his fears or--

"Are you really," he starts to ask, low, as quiet as possible, "is it, you think I could-- seriously, leave you over a tabloid story? Let them take what we have away from me?" Dom's expression flickers blank for an instant and Elijah hastens to add, whispering, "You can say, I'm not.. mad, more like. I just want to understand."

"Not as simple as that, but." Swallowing, Dom fidgets with his rings. "I know it's stupid, but I see how much you hate it, and I'm such a fucking attention whore, I could slip so easily and--" he makes himself stop; it annoys him just to hear it, he can't imagine it's any better for Lij. "It's stupid, yeah. It's the same worries, same argument all the time, you're right-- same as last year, same as earlier this year. Same as it's always been."

Elijah catches his hand again, clutching tight. "I think-- I know, that we're giving them too much power. And, you know, it's odd, because... if I hate them, it's exactly because they never get anything right, and they-- they report wrong, and show wrong and tell wrong, and... Deep down I know they can never get at what it is I have with you. When I said-- I have, I generally dislike publicity, but, when I said that about Variety and Leno, I meant it. I love you way enough to want to shout it from the rooftops, sometimes, I do, it's a natural impulse... I would hate to see tabs try and mangle that thing and it's not anybody's fucking business, but-- I don't, I never believed they could really take it away from me. No one can. Just us. And we won't."

Dom leans nearer and presses his face to Lij's shoulder. "Yeah. God. I'm sorry," he says, muffled, squeezing him hard.

"Don't apologize, baby, there's nothing wrong with you, with us. I love you, God, I swear," Lij clings hard, arms tight around him. "Dommie."

When Dom lifts his head and kisses Lij slowly, Elijah kisses back more hesitantly than he'd like, feeling simultaneously shy and feverish.

"I love you, I promise I'll try to make this easier for us," Dom says. "I don't want to put us through this same argument over and over..." he chases the words with another, harder kiss. Elijah wraps his arms around Dom's neck, pressing closer, hanging on for dear life, every emotion mixing and rushing through the careful barrier he was keeping up to manage talking through this.

Dom lifts him just a bit, prompting Lij's his legs higher on the sofa so he can tip them over, tugging-dragging Elijah to lie with him. Lij willingly follows the move, settling on his side, hands drawing them flush with each other. "Baby." Another kiss, sweeter this time, less hesitant, less hard too; Elijah tries to think and see through the fog, see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. "It's just us. As long as we have each other... I'd live in a hut, you know?"

"I keep telling myself that, I don't know why it doesn't take." Dom strokes Lij's hair, pets the wiry beard-scruff of his sideburns and goatee, brushes the backs of his fingers against Lij's cheek. "I believe you. I do."

"No, I know... I think sometimes I forget it, too. As if it's true and also not. It's... Maybe it takes a crisis to be reminded of it, balance a hut with you, versus everything as it is now. We're just human," Elijah smiles sadly, leans in to brush their lips together. "Still true though," he murmurs, "You and me, against the world, and we'll fucking win it."

Relief (Dom/Elijah, June 5 retcon)

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:07:47 GMT

[Voyeurs]

June 5 retcon, after The Chair.

*

His stomach has already been growling for twenty minutes by the time Dom decides he can't put off waking Elijah up any longer.

Staying close to Lij, he reaches into the bedside table drawer and gets out the phone, pressing the room service button. The club already has his orders for food, as well as instructions to bring up a few things he gave them beforehand.

Efficient as always, the Establishment staff arrives within five minutes; two people, evidently a team, a male service slave in PVC who brings the food, and a heavily-made up domme chivvying him along the way.

After the slave arranges the tray next to the bed, his mistress swings Dom's messenger bag to bump against the slave's head. The man kowtows to her silently, and makes quick work of spreading Elijah's specs and contact solution on the bedside table. He even arranges the pillows on the bed to make it easier to sit up and eat, then kneels at his mistress's feet.

"Hmph," the domme says, and jerks his leash. She winks at Dom and leads her slave out.

None of it, of course, stirs Elijah. But the moment Dom stretches away from him a bit to get a drink, Lij makes a faint noise; Dom forgets the water for now and pets Elijah, murmuring to him softly. "Wake up, love. Time to eat."

Lij turns his head in the direction of Dom's voice, keeping his eyes closed; his lashes feel sticky as he tries to open them, and it's too much effort.

Disoriented, he makes an interrogative sort of noise, but then the where and when reassert themselves in one flashy second and he knows, he remembers everything, whining a little as he takes a deep breath and his nipples briefly ache from the push against the sheet.

Curving a protective arm around Lij, Dom drops kisses on his hair and temple, his thoughts running a bit schizophrenic. It's weird to feel as though he'd like to beat bloody hell out of whoever's left his boyfriend in this state, when he's the one who planned out and executed every second of it.

"It's all right," he tells Lij softly, "everything's going to be all right. You'll feel better after you get a bit of food in you."

Turning his head more to nuzzle in Dom's neck is just effortless enough for Elijah, still fighting lethargy. He smacks his lips in the warm air between Dom's chin and the hollow low at his throat, half to suggest a kiss and half to rid his mouth of that thick sleep-like impression, to make it possible to speak. "Hmm?"

"Here," Dom says, and carefully pulls Lij more on top of him, moving to prop them both up against the pillows more, one arm always secure around Lij's shoulders as he changes their position.

"Just lie back against me, you don't have to do anything. There's soup if you want it." He reaches for the small bowl of miso on the tray and tastes it to make sure it's not too hot. "Can you drink a bit of this?"

Elijah smacks his lips again and sniffs, surprised to discover he's hungry; nodding, he purses his mouth to reach the rim of the bowl that Dominic brings to his level and tips up. The first gulp is shockingly tasty, warm heavenly comforting miso soup, yum, and Lij hastily slurps more of it down, until Dom takes the bowl away with a faintly chiding sound.

"Not so fast maybe, eh? Give yourself time to wake up, you'll choke."

Dom sets the bowl aside as Elijah whinges a bit again; this time it sounds less a complaint, more like a plea. Lij tilts his chin up, and Dom twigs and kisses him, shallow and sweet, drawing it out, resting his hand on Lij's nape and the collar around his neck.

"Mmmmm," Elijah hums. "Thanks. Did I sleep long?"

"Nah. Not very." Dom smiles as Elijah yawns, wrinkling his nose. "We have the room tonight and tomorrow, so we can take plenty of time. But you should probably get your contacts out soon."

Elijah nods, blinking to check the feel of them in his eyes, which feel gunky. He rubs them with the side of his hand, and just that movement is enough to make him feel again how tired he really is, his body protesting the smallest effort.

"You're so good to me," he says softly, shifting a little higher to rest his head on Dom's shoulder, trying to ignore the sharpness of pain in his ass as his muscles clench. As soon as he's said it remorse fills up again... Elijah can't help but think back to his mistake and wonder if he deserves Dominic's gentle attention. He needs it, no doubt about that, the solidity of Dom's body under his and the weight of Dom's hands on his shoulder and neck like necessary anchors.

"You took a lot," Dom answers. He pets Lij's hair, spiky with dried sweat. "It was amazing, you know? I'm so proud you went through it for me."

"But I failed," Elijah murmurs, immediately biting his lip for voicing that. He's been punished already, he said he got that-- questioning it again is only a second failure. Dom's fingers card in his hair a bit more firmly, deliberate or not, and Lij presses his face harder against Dom's skin, nose flattening in his neck. "Sorry."

"You failed and you paid for it, and it's done," Dom tells him, pressing kisses to his hair, massaging his shoulders. "You were wonderful, love. I'm happy with you. And now I want you to relax and let me look after you."

The tension in Elijah softens under the sure touch, and he forces himself to put the anxiety out of his mind, at least right now. It's so good to be skin to skin, together in bed... Maybe Dominic's plan is the best, and not only because it's what he's asking for; maybe being looked after will suffice to quiet the niggling dissatisfaction with himself.

"Could you-- Would you kiss me again, please?"

"'Course I will, baby, c'mere," Dom bends his neck as Lij lifts his head, and gives him another long, slow kiss.

There's reasons why kissing is the thing prostitutes forbid, though they don't all do that, Lij finds himself pondering-- Even if a kiss can be given from dominant to submissive, sometimes forced or conveying contempt, it's still the most intimate of simple acts Elijah's ever taken part in. Dominic kisses him tenderly, attentive and soothing; the care and emotion into Lij and restore some of his strength, drawing him out from this languid, achy drowsiness.

Dom breaks the kiss and Elijah nuzzles him softly, feeling more awake. "Need to piss," he says, smiling against his cheek. "Donwannamove."

"I'm sure you don't, but you'll have to move for that," Dom smiles back. "At least the room's en suite."

"Hmm."

Elijah yawns and stretches slowly, carefully starting to catalogue the various points where his body resists movement. He looks around, takes in the tray with the food, his glasses waiting for him on the nightstand. Ah yes, the contacts to take out.

"Kay, I'm going then," he pushes himself up to sit in the bed; Dominic's hand gives him an encouraging small nudge between his shoulderblades.

"I'll bring your specs and your gear for your contacts," Dom says, gathering them up and following. Elijah disappears into the loo, and Dom lays out his things for him next to the sink just outside the door.

"Thanks."

Dom twists the faucet, cups water in his hands and rinses his face, lingering, deciding to wait. He might need to stay close as much as Elijah, really. As much as Elijah needs reassurance that he did well, Dom needs to reassure himself, as well; make sure he didn't push too hard or too far.

Lij starts to sit down on the toilet seat, as he feels just unsure enough on his feet to stay standing and not make a mess of aiming poorly; he's also not looking forward the sensations it'll give him to piss when the last thing that went through hurt like a bitch.

Not a clever choice, though. Just the beginning of the move necessary to sit, his knees half-bent, spreads and stretches his ass enough to hurt, too. But it's too late to change his mind, too tiring. Lij lets himself collapse on the seat with a groan and puts his head in his hands, ready to grit his teeth if need be.

Behind the door, Lij makes a pained sound, and Dom hastily dries off, frowning. "You all right?"

"Yeah, yeah-- just... Stinging," Elijah tells him, raising his voice over the noise. "I'll be out in a sec."

Dom lets himself grimace lightly, worried and unsure if he really did hurt Lij beyond what he intended.

He soaps and washes his hands thoroughly, pushes the doubts away. Later when they talk about it, he can find out if he's gone too far. For now the important thing is caring for Lij and making sure he comes back up smoothly, after submitting so profoundly for so long.

Elijah uses the moist towelettes to clean up, the cold seeping in, allaying the soreness. Straightening his shoulders with a light shake, he gets up and flushes the toilet, then comes out to wash his hands.

"I'm okay," he says, seeing concern on Dominic's face. "I swear, I'm fine. Just need these fucking contacts out and I'll be good. Back to bed, so you can cuddle with me more?"

Dom nods, staying near, his hand at the small of Lij's back as Lij pinches the lenses from his eyes. "I'm looking forward to that, hours of it," he says. "I loved the scene, but I want you close."

Squirting solution from the bottle into his contacts' case, Elijah smiles at Dom's blurred reflection in the mirror, aware of the profound difference between now and then, despite the close similarities of their situation.

"Me too, close," he puts his glasses on, squints as his eyes adjust to the neat, in-focus image. "And I loved it too. I need you to know that, I-- I really did."

"We can talk all about it in a bit," Dom promises. "We'll pick it apart properly, yeah? I want to know what you thought of everything. We can lie in for now, rest up."

Lij nods and squeezes Dom's hand, turning away from the sink. Dominic's right, there's no rush. He lets himself be tugged, happy to get back in the warmth of the blankets and settle against Dom's body again, ignoring the rusty pinch of lactic acid in his limbs.

"So good, mmm," he wriggles just to feel the contact of his skin against Dom's.

Once Elijah's safe in his arms again, it's easier for Dom to focus on what's important. Elijah's warm, subdued and apparently calm. He still seems a bit tired; behind his glasses, the skin under his eyes has a faintly bruised look.

"Baby," Dom says quietly, petting him. "There's more soup, and some other stuff. Sushi, and bruschetta, and chocolates. I can feed them to you if you like. I suppose I could even feed you baby-bird style if you're really tired, though I can't promise it'll taste very good that way."

Lij chuckles, and snuggles closer. "I think I can manage more soup, first. I'm still thirsty... hungry too, just lazy. It all looks good, perfect choices-- I see now it was a whole cunning masterplan."

"You're not lazy, you're tired," Dom says, kissing him again before offering him the soup. "You should ought to be, after all that. I'm tired and for most of it I was only gawking."

Elijah takes the bowl with both hands this time, and drinks from it right away, almost grateful that it spares him the need for a comeback. It feels like he could've made a joke in return, but that's not quite where his mind is... And there's not much to say for a serious answer either.

He drains what's left of the soup pretty fast, the warm liquid easy to swallow even though his throat is kinda sore, too, like the rest of him. Dominic takes the empty bowl from him and makes a vague gesture to indicate the rest of the food.

"Is there toro?" Lij asks.

"Right here," Dom says, picking up a bit of fatty tuna. He swipes it lightly through the soy sauce, just a faint sheen of saltiness on the meat, the way Lij always does it, and feeds the bit of meat and rice to Elijah, chuckling as Lij nibbles and licks his fingers as well.

"What about kisses? Are there kisses?" Elijah bends his neck up with almost childish single-mindedness.

"We never run out of those," Dom says, kissing him more.

They trade off for a while; bites of food and kisses, sips of water and more kissing. The bruschetta and fish disappear piece by piece, til they're even eating the palate-cleansing ginger pickles along with dessert. They trade the tastes of sliced ginger and chocolate back and forth between their mouths, spicy and sweet.

"It's one of those things," Elijah marvels, licking Dom's chin, "ginger and chocolate, you'd never guess they go this well together. Especially sweet milky chocolate with marinated, vinegary ginger. But they do, they really really do."

Dominic winks at him and starts rolling another slice of the pink root directly around a piece of chocolate with the slightest hint of a doubtful grimace; Lij bites him softly, revises: "Or maybe that's just me."

Taking a nibble, Dom squinches his mouth skeptically. "I think that might be just you," he says, offering the rest to Elijah.

"I can't get punished for bad culinary taste though, can I?" Lij takes the offered bit and chews on it, regretting his question already; that was a stupid thing to say, the joke falling completely flat. That his stomach flopped at the mere thought-- despite the stupidity of the suggestion-- is a good indication that this is uncomfortable territory; the kind he shouldn't be wading in just yet, still fragile, with his thoughts clouded.

A bit lost for a good answer, Dom locks both arms around Elijah and nuzzles him affectionately, squeezing him. "You can have all the manky ginger-chocolate you want." He rubs noses with Lij. "Love you."

"Me too, mmm," Elijah kisses him, "tummy pies. Chocolate pies-- and no ginger, promise."

Laughing, Dom nods. "You're making me want ginger snaps as well," he says. "I'll make some when we're home. Though I'm in no hurry to go home," he adds quickly. "I booked the room in case we want to stay, and they said we can switch from the playroom to one of the regular hotel rooms if we like."

Tucking closer against him again, drawing his knees up to curl more comfortably, Elijah murmurs in his neck. "You've said, yeah. I got it, you're taking care of me... thank you. I think I'll be up for going home in a while, though. Sleep in our bed." Since I can, he thinks, grateful suddenly that Dominic considers Elijah's punishment enough; sleeping on the floor tonight would be too awful, and not just physically.

"That does sound good," Dom nods, holding him, at a bit of a loss. Elijah's so aware of the mechanics of this ritual, the proper form of aftercare, that Dom's not sure the substance is reaching him properly.

He rambles a bit, his voice a low purr. "I like feeding you, it's fun. So sexy when you suck on my fingers like that. I love your mouth... next time we decide to cuddle up and watch a video, I wouldn't mind to see Tampopo again. You remember, the Japanese film with all the food? They learn how to make the best sort of noodles and that."

"Mm, I remember. Egg yolk," Lij mutters, not quite falling back asleep but feeling his thoughts get disjointed again as if he was. Maybe he's too tired to hold the threads together.

"Yeah. The bloke and his girl trade the egg yolk when they're kissing. And the scene where he describes the yam sausages. Brilliant stuff." Dom keeps his voice low and lulling, slipping Elijah's spectacles off his face, kissing his cheek.

"Thanks," Lij murmurs, turning towards Dominic even more, burrowing completely into Dom's body like a sunflower follows the sun in the sky. "'S all I ever say... Hope you don't get tired of it," he whispers, unable to stop himself expressing the vague feeling of inadequacy that remains. "Dommie."

"No. I never get tired of it." Dom settles his arms in a solid circle around Lij, nuzzling his nose blissfully in Lij's short hair. "I never forget how lucky I am to have you. I'm not sure I can ever say it enough, but I know."

"Me too... Lucky to have you."

Dom takes the chance to cradle him close and smooth salve onto him again; Lij gives an appreciative hum as Dom carefully handles him, but he doesn't stir otherwise.

It's useless to speak, when his brain only rehashes variations of that last exchange, words echoing treacle-slow in his head. Elijah slipped easily from what he answered Dom to thinking he should have said I'm lucky you have me, closer to what he feels just now-- held and manipulated gently, treated like a precious thing. It takes him a much longer time to go from this to the simple, obvious truth that they're both lucky to have each other.

Elijah slips off into a doze.

A press of the call button on the phone brings another Establishment staff member, a woman in a crisp suit with a toothpick lodged in the corner of her mouth. She silently gathers up the plates and tray and takes them out, leaving the cups and water pitcher.

Dom's a bit restless, but he can't think of a good way to pass the time. If Elijah wakes up to find him reading a script or doing a crossword or something, that's not on.

He meditates for a bit, and eventually the unsettled nervous feeling leaves him. He relaxes, his hand tracing slow lazy circles on Elijah's back.

"Oh, it's you," Lij whispers against Dom's ribcage, rocking minutely back against his hand; Dominic stops his fingers moving on Elijah's skin, waiting to see if the meaning of that becomes a bit more clear. "I was dreaming... Bugs walking over me. Was thinking you'd like that, in the dream."

Dom only just stops himself asking what sort of bugs, caressing Lij and letting him blink and stretch himself awake.

Elijah yawns and cracks his neck, grins as it makes a little pop. "Hello again. I fell asleep."

"I know," Dom grins back at him, "I was there."

Levering slowly up on an elbow, Lij kisses Dom's chest once, rubs his hand over his face. "Can we go home soon? You must be getting bored, what time is it now?"

"I'm not bored," Dom says; it's true enough now that Elijah's awake. "If you want to sleep in our bed tonight, I suppose we should go soon. But I want you to do something for me first."

"Okay, of course... What is it?"

Dom pushes back the bedcovers to make a space on the bed, patting it. "Kneel for me here, love," he says, and stands, bending to rummage in his messenger bag.

Lij obeys, keeping his wincing to a minimum when discomfort lances as he sits on his heels. Despite the heaviness of his limbs, it feels good to straighten his posture and roll his shoulders back; to try and give Dominic a good posture. Maybe there can be too much of a good thing, and relaxation made him a little too purposeless... It's satisfying to execute a simple order like this. Elijah doesn't even try to guess what Dom plans to do.

Coming to stand by the bed, Dominic lifts the loose velvet sack to show it to Elijah, then sets it carefully next to Elijah's knee on the bed. "Tip up your chin up, love," he says, reaching to caress Lij's jaw and his neck with the leather and silver scene collar.

"Are we-- are you changing it?" Elijah follows Dom's prompt, tilting his head a little higher and back, holding himself proud. It's not hard to, his heart thumping a bit more wildly just at the thought, happily; if Dominic replaces the leather with Elijah's magnetic collar he can't be disappointed in Lij, he has to be content.

"I'm changing it," Dominic affirms, easing open the buckle on Elijah's scene collar and unwinding it from around his neck. Leaning, he presses a series of kisses along the line where the collar was, ending with a bite, sinking in his teeth with a satisfied growl. Elijah arches up, eyes falling shut with pleasure.

The drawstring loosens with a tug and the velvet falls open; the silver collar gleams. Dom uses the ring to open the magnet latch, and carefully rests the metal collar low around Elijah's neck, closing it, emotion welling up at the sight of it.

Spanning his hands around it, fingers touching silver and skin, he kisses Elijah deeply.

"I love you more than anything," he echoes his words from the wake of the scene, speaking them now to Elijah's open eyes.

Elijah sighs out, his every muscle loose from renewed relief and awe, looking back at Dom and relishing the cold hard feel of his collar, the physical proof that he's earned his place, that he still deserves it in Dom's view.

"Me too," he nods, whispering. "I do, too."

Gift for c_a_moss, jason_isaacs and liam

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 07:47:54 GMT

Package delivered to the House of NIM:

Godiva Chocolate: Milk Chocolate Cigars (120 pieces)

Enclosed note:

Welcome to the world, Olivia Beth Isaacs-Moss!

And congratulations, Carrie-Anne, Jason and Liam. Lots of love to the new addition to your family!

XOXOXOX,
Dom and Elijah

All over the shop

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:26:58 GMT

[Public]

Let's see. I was a bit down. Then Lij and I had a brilliantly hot scene on Sunday. Yesterday, I attended the Batman Begins premiere. Today Elijah, naked and collared, brought me my tea-tray and served me kneeling, and I fed him from my hands.

By startling coincidence, I'm in a much better mood than I was last week. Sheerest happenstance, I'm sure.

Tomorrow I think I'll get the knives out. It's been far too long since I saw him bleed.