Just Plain Ranting Things I Absolutely Irrationally HATE in Fandom (brought to you courtesy of
spare_change's open
invitation to share.)
Be warned, I have a lot of stored vitriol to unleash.
Draco. Draco fangirls. Draco fangirls who think he's Tom Felton (?). Draco slash. Harry/Draco. Harry/Draco/Someone. Draco/Hermione. Draco/Ginny. Draco the Slytherin sex god. Draco with devastating wit and poise. Draco in any role except "minor character who occasionally annoys Harry, much like the pointy-faced mosquito he is."
RPS fic, because the closest I've EVER come to that is Sushi's "Throwing in the Towel." Self-insertion without even the thin veneer of a Mary Sue. Mary-Sue fic. Any of the following nicknames: Siri, Remy, Sev, Sevvie, Herm, Luc, 'mione.
Crossovers. All of them. Particularly any which involve pop culture (Buffy, Queer as Folk, soap operas) or anime. None of my fandoms are TV based, and I have no interest in TV based fandoms, and I do NOT want them squished into the HP world "just because."
Fans who can't distinguish the books from the movies (they wear ties?). Fans who can't distinguish the
actors from the characters (Snape has Rickman's voice?). Both of the above in fanfic. Writers who haven't read the books. Writers who claim to have read the books and have manifestly not done so. Writers who claim to have written stories they have not written. Author fangirls of any magnitude beyond "Wow, you're an amazing writer." Anyone who regards plagiarism as an "emotional" issue to be taken on faith, because they like the person accused.
People who use only one letter to indicate pairing (We've seen this before in this journal-- is that H/D a Hermione/Draco? Harry/Draco? Hermione/Dumbledore?). Arguments over Blaise Zabini's gender-- make it whatever you want, and shut up, because if it's not in canon it's up for grabs.
Snape's hair being very soft and shiny. Snape's complexion described as "pale" or "ivory." Snape really is built and toned under those robes. Snape is only mean to /Harry/the Trio/Gryffindors/students in general because he has to be. Snape/Draco. Snape/Hermione. Snape/Lucius. Snape/Voldemort. Snape/Black. Snape/Lupin. Snape/Crabbe and/or Goyle. Death Eaters exist to rape and torture their own members. Harry/Lucius. Regulus Black in any pairing--he's a bloody
name, people.
Fics in which the characters are reverted to childhood. Fics wherein the author's voice appears. Fics where the characters get sucked into the author's world. Fics involving American high school--I went through it, okay, and I have ZERO interest in reliving the experience. Fics in which mystical prophecies feature prominently. Fics where they discover their love because someone says something in their sleep/coma/trance. Fics with terrible spelling. Fics with terrible grammar. Fics with both terrible spelling and terrible grammar. Authors who don't care. Authors who are outright belligerent about it.
Remus has amber, wolf-like eyes. Remus "marks" people as his pack/mate/friend/ally whatever. Remus has some mystic bond related to lycanthropy that bonds him with the first person he has sex with, also known as "WerewolvesMustMateForLife!RomanticMush.
" Remus has acute smell and hearing in human form. Remus is just a big old softie. Remus Lupin is "obviously" in a canon relationship with Sirius.
Male pregnancy fic. Pregnancy fic. Marriage between the slashed characters. Use of the term "husband," or "wife," for both slashed partners. Adopted children fic. Pleas for feedback longer than the chapter. Fanfiction.Net. HarryPotterFanFiction.com. Fics which involve any sort of magical "bond," be it pre-romance, pre-coital, post-coital, etc. Bonds that compel characters to get together. Bonds that show the characters are "meant" to be forever. Bonds that have elaborate conditions just to make sure there's no speck of coercion. Ditto for love spells and potions.
Hmm, let's call this a close for the HP fandom, at least. I might have to do it again for the others... :)