All Hail Bad Potter Smut!
I know, i don't write in this thing often..like, ever. But, i figured i should start writing on this thing, since a couple people DO have me friended...and i do actually have stuff to say now and then.

Anyway, i was looking for smut on adultfanfiction.net...HP smut, actually...and came upon this nugget of joy. Plus, the fact that the A/N is one of those 'it's my first fic, don't flame me' things kind of prodded me along here. And she normally writes Newsies fics...i have a sinking feeling i've read some of this person's stuff on a MST site somewhere...

Story Or Series Title: Lily's Sexual Adventures at Hogwarts
Fandom: Harry Potter
Culprit Author's Name: morgan

Full Name (plus titles if any): Lily McKay
Full Species(es): Human/Wizard
Hair Color (include adjectives): brown chin length wave/curly hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): blue-grey, wears horn-rimmed glasses.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Crescent scar on her wrist (guess how she got it!)
Special Possessions (if any): Lots of smutty books and a libido that would make a porn star blush

Annoying Origin: From the United States. Voldemort killed her parents and tried to kill her but she managed to absorb part of his power and survived, left only with a scar. Taken by Hagrid to live with her aunt (gee sound familiar?)
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Dumbledore's great granddaughter. Also has a speshul mystic connection to Harry due to their scars.
Annoying Special Abilities: Can tell if someone is a virgin by touching or smelling them. Eyes change color.
Other Annoying Traits: Is on a mission to deflower as many Hogwarts boys as possible.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
This is promising right from the start:

Harry Potter was in his seventh at Hogwarts, he was dating Hermione for only a couple of months.
They weren't sexually active together, in fact he had a fear of it.
He was after all a virgin still, But Harry just didn't feel it to even want to do it with hermione for some reason it just didn't feel right.
Harry was studying in the library with Hermione. Meanwhile back in Dumbledore's office a girl who's about 25 is talking to him, she didn't even looked that old, more like 15 or 16, she was 4'10 with brown chin length wavy/curly hair and blue-grey eyes, not really pretty in her standards, she
thought of herself as ugly, she also wore wirerimmed glasses and her name is Lily Mckay and she is Dumbledore's great granddaughter.
She was sexually active since she was twenty years old and she is actually hiding at the school for her own safety and well things happen there and let's just say Lily who is a woman might have a few boy students to teach "SEX" to if she has her way, since she's got to hide there and doesn't want to get too bored.

They can't stand each other...guess what's gonna happen?

The game started and Lily noticed that the Slytherines played dirty and Lily was yelling for their team that she got excieted when Harry scored and Harry had gotten the snitch after four hours of playing, which made everyone cheered and Draco was so mad, she smiled at Draco and then gave him the finger so he could only see it. That night as Lily walked to her dorm she was pushed against the wall by someone and a hand was put over her mouth and she recognized him as Draco and he was pressing himself against her now.Draco who grew some inches since his first few years and was standing about 5'7 now and Lily was only 4'10.

Draco: What was that gesture you did at me at the game?

Draco took his hand off her mouth.

Lily: That was an american sign that means "Fuck you Draco"

Draco: Oh I see, well you're in no position to tell me anything are you?

Lily: Well I guess, then what do you have suggested, how about I kick you in your family jewels so you are hunched over for awhile?

Lily was about to kick him when he used his knee to stop her, he then took her hands and brought them over her head.

Draco: How about I have alittle fun with you against this wall and we'll find out, I don't care how small you are.

Lily: Draco do you have any Idea how to make love to a woman, or are you a virgin, you aren't
you, so don't play games with me.

Draco: I am not a virgin.

Lily: You are too, don't even deny it, I on the other hand I'm not a virgin, but I can smell one a mile away.

Draco: Oh really prove it.

Lily: Not here, there's no way we can do it standing up, you're too tall for me and well I know of a hidden place we can do it.

Draco grabs her wrist now.

Draco: Show me.

Lily walks to a abandoned room in the school she know of when she was a child, her great grandfather let her explore the school when she would visit in the summer.

Draco: Where did you find this place?

Lily: I just discovered it, I cleaned it up alittle too, just in case I wanted to teach a virgin or non- virgin the fine arts of sex I have learned.

Draco: Well then I guess let's get going.

Hagrid explains her origins

Hagrid: Ok, your parents and Harry's were killed by the same wizard Voldemort *gulps* on the same night, only
you were two years old and he was just a baby.

Lily: What are you saying?

Hagrid: You're the girl who lived and Harry is the boy who lived.Hagrid: What I'm saying is you two are connectedby your scars, you both absorbed some of his powers, why do you think Harry wasn't killed either, the love of your mothers saved you both and well cursed you both.

Lily got up and then started pacing back and forth.

Lily: No wonder the death eaters want me and of course Harry probably too, damn it, why didn't grandfather tell me this?

Hagrid: Because he didn't think it would turn out like this, but he knew it was gonna happen sooner than he thought, that's why you're here hiding out.

Lily: What the hell does this have to do with Harry Potter!

Hagrid: Voldemort is back and he wants you and Harry Potter and this time he wants you both dead, he's been given another chance from this really evil wizard who grants you one wish and then you have to serve him for the rest of your life, well from some very good resources Voldemort did just that and well he might be coming soon to kill you and Harry, there I said it, happy?

Lily stopped pacing and sat down.

Lily: Cn he get into Hogwarts?

Hagrid: No, not that I know of, but he'll find his way and according to your grandfather, with you two together, you might just finish off Voldemort for good.

Lily: Harry should know about this.

Hagrid: Not yet, you can't tell him anything yet, Dumbledore has it all planned out, now you should get back to your dorm.Lily: Fine, I'll go and I'll be careful.

Lily kisses Hagrid goodbye and heads back to the dorm, she enters and changes back into her PJ
and then goes to her bed and falls asleep.

I'd just like to point out that in the first chapter it says she's 25 but looks 15 or 16. Then Hagrid says Harry was a baby when she was 2? Given that Harry's like 17 in this story it's impossible.


Only 3 chapters so far, but she says she wants to write 'at least 30'. I'm shivering in revulsion anticipation.