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National Coming Out Day.
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So today/yesterdy was National Coming Out Day.

First thing I want to say is I think the pressure on people to come out is fucked up. Especially the forced outing of people - it's bullshit, it should be a person's choice. Not everyone has the same options there and even if they did it's no-one's fucking business.

That aside, I am curious about people's reasons. Are you out, semi out, sort of out, what? (I'm not going to put "Totally in the closet" as an options because if you're answering, you're not.) And why? I guess around here a lot of people will have the same reason, media, but there's things like family, personal opinion that it's no-one else's damn business, all kind of reasons.

Me, I'm completely out, as out as you can get (Though I did hear a rumour I was bisexual. No-one told me about it.) I was lucky enough to have very supportive parents and I came out because I couldn't live with lying to my mum. It opened up some options for me professionaly - some of my work now is gay clubs and bars, Pride events, that sort of thing. I've been fairly lucky not to get too much shit for it - I get the odd drunk young guy look like he wants to say something then realise I'm bigger than him and think better of it. It was definitely the right choice for me, and I was lucky that it was a free choice.

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j_rhys_meyers
2011-10-11 08:21 pm UTC (link)

I spent a long time kicking the closet door - I didn't say "I'm fucking men", but I made it clear that unlike a lot of other young actors I had no problem with men finding me attractive. Because there are always some who'll talk about playing gay (and being applauded as "so brave") but get all nervous when a guy actually looks at them.

I'd say it was about 50% genuinely being bisexual, and 50% being 19-25 and stupid and bratty.

Now... well I'm not actually sure I could come out because people have made up their mind and half think I'm a raging poof and half think I'm a complete skirt-chaser (And never the twain shall meet, of course.)

But I'm much more careful now. Because while I could probably afford to come out, that would be making the choice for my lovers too and that's unfair. And with the added complication that my Sir is married and people would instantly try and use me to invalidate him being happily married to a lovely women because of course there's no such thing as bisexuals.

So I'm semi-out, I'm out to my family (That didn't go well), I'm out to my friends, I'm an open secret in terms of castmates (Hollywood standard) but I leave the media to print whatever the fuck they want, I'm not going to start troubling them with the truth this late in the game.

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	paul_mac 2011-10-11 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	Yeahhhh - I can't really comment on bisexuals but the idea that 'one dick and you're gay' is another piece of bullshit. (Or 'one dick and you're straight' for the ladies. I don't know about you but I've never had a fuck so good it changed my worldview.) (Reply to this)(Parent)

havok
2011-10-11 09:44 pm UTC (link)

I'm not out. I'm also not not out. Basically, I live my life and refuse to comment because it's nobody's damn business.

I have, in the past, been linked with men and women with equal regularity (some of it actually true), which seems to make the fans happy but has very little to do with me as me.

I am out to my family and friends, though. They're in my personal life so they get to know about it. Everybody else can fuck off.

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	paul_mac 2011-10-11 09:49 pm UTC (link)
	Sounds like a healthy view to me. That's what I meant by semi-out - out to the people who know, not out to the whole damn world - but it doesn't really need a label. (Reply to this)(Parent)