being odd one day at a time
I've been questioning myself and getting all angsty because my living conditions here aren't being sunshine and roses. It makes me think and thinking is bad. *nods* Thinking inspires all these ideas and memories and then you start thinking more and more and you end up wasting whole MINUTES thinking.
Simply shocking behavior I can't believe I am engaging in it. *bad perch no cookie*
Not only is thinking bad but remembering and making promises is just inexcusable! Yes and then listening to angsty tori and NIN while performing these blasphemous actions!
For instance the farm hand intern at unanon's job is being fresh. Now i have to go hitch hike down there and cut off his hands. Promises! Blah. I'll kill anyone that fucks with my uni!
Now I'm getting all pondering. What do I want in a mate, what do I have to offer anyone romantically? Why are all the good ones gay, insane, or absolutely don't want me in that way. Why are all the pretty damn good ones in tough life situations, live in places I would never want to live in or uninterested? *bangs head* And why the hell do I attract ex heroin and crack addicts in their early thirties like flies with honey!
Am I exuding odor de drug bunny! Do I appear to scream "fuck with me I like it I like it a lot!" with every step I take?
Blah. Double blah. Quadruple blah with an angsty song on top.
I should just be in mindless physical relationships that have no emotional meaning. *nods* Yeah! Hell fucking yeah. *sniffle* And then I realize that I'm not interested in purely physical relationships that have no emotional meaning. And there goes my plans for this weekend.
And to top it off I've been itching to write letters again. When I was a teenager I used to write to people in prison on that whole pen pal exchange make the convicts who have no one feel good thing. I'd send them great big gigantic letters (18 to 20 pages long) once a week talking about everything I could think of that didn't involve divulging personal information that they could use to come and kill me when they got released.
Aside from the frequent requests for my pert little then sixteen year old self to come and give them sexual favors it wasn't that bad. A lot of lonely people who didn't seem to mind being pestered by an annoying and lonely girl.
I kind of miss it. *ponders writing to convicts in prison, thinks of what The Minister will do if I did that, scraps idea* Blah I want penpals dammit! Does no one really use snail mail anymore?
Edited to include: some days i feel like having the same post in lots of places
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map