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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2013.06.07  17.26 A Kept Boy Master Post A Kept Boy by poisontaster. (CWRPS AU, primarily Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Jensen Ackles) A Kept Boy is an RPS AU involving slavery, abuse (adult and child) in all forms (verbal, physical, mental), inequalities of power, and dark, adult concepts regarding same. At heart, it's a love story, but it goes through some bad, dark places to get there. Be warned, if any of these are not your cup of tea. This is in no way a true story. Other stories in this universe/vein can be found at whatwekeep. Banner by the generous and talented bloodquartz. Started: July 10, 2008 Ended: < TBD > Current completed chapters: 55 Current Word Count: 111,540 Cast of Characters ( Chapter listing & outtakes )

	2009.07.27  20.38 Kamikaze! If you've been around these parts a little while, you might remember that, last year, girlguidejones and I ran a remix challenge called kamikazeremix. It's fairly similar to THE remix challenge run by musesfool; the object is to take a story written by another author and "remix" it into a new story, following a couple, key rules. The difference is that in most remix challenges, you're allowed to shop through the author's entire catalogue of work to choose the story you want to remix. In Kamikaze, we're not nearly that kind: the object is to remix the story that the AUTHOR chose to have remixed. That's right. One story. No choices, no do-overs. You're given a single story and from it, you make magic. Because this is a small, specialized challenge, we are currently limiting it to a single fandom: SPN. This is only our second year running and we're just not sure there's the interest out there to make it worthwhile (or even POSSIBLE) to expand the challenge to other fandoms. This also, alas, excludes RPS/RPF. The rules haven't been updated for 2009, but if you go to kamikazeremix and look at the profile, you can get the basic gist of the rules. We're still talking out the fine details, but we'll be starting sign ups on August 1. Which is VERY SOON. So please pass the word far and wide, even if you're not planning on participating yourself. Stay tuned for more!

	2009.07.27  16.33 Meta: On Jeff and Kink (AKB) One thing that I've encountered a lot in my real life and that I've struggled to bring effectively into my writing is a certain idea of equivalency. It's pretty normal human practice for us to take our experiences in the world and assume that they are a) universal and b) common, which are congruent, but not identical, ideas. And false, for all of that. The practical outcome of this assumption of equivalency is that characters often ring false or stupid to us when their actions/conclusions/thoughts do not follow the things that we accept as common knowledge. It's a truth I've always been fascinated by, going back to conversations with my mother and it's become especially relevant again when talking—or really, writing—about Jeff Morgan in AKB. ( Why, whatever do you mean, PT?? ) Mood: thinky

	2009.07.26  20.27 Fic: Homecoming (Where the Heart Is Deep Beat Mix) Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis Pairing(s): Jennifer Keller/Rodney McKay, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay Rating: PG Warnings: None. Spoilers: Mild, for "Enemy at the Gate" Original story: Homecoming by hyperfocused. AN: Written for remixredux09. Many thanks to the long-suffering inlovewithnight, who is too frequently subjected to emails saying, "OMG, can you beta this NOW?" Futher thanks to hyperfocused (for obvious reasons) and musesfool for running the challenge. ( It only took one kiss to show her how wrong she was. ) Jennifer's no dummy, though. It only took one kiss to show her how wrong she was. Mood: contemplative

	2009.07.25  21.50 Fic: A Kept Boy 61/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2,779 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. Podfic version read by the amazing superstitiousme (found here, courtesy of the very kind general_jinjur). And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( It is what it is and we are what we are. ) Mood: pleased

	2009.07.19  17.11 O Frabjous Day! I have this mental image of myself sometimes, something that I'll actually act out in real-time where I imagine I'm holding something--this, idea or image or thought--in my hands like a Rubik's Cube or a puzzle box or something and I'm shaking it and turning it around and around to both admire and examine it and I want to take it apart (a little like the goose with the golden egg) and see exactly what it is that makes it so, SO shiny. I feel like that about this story. Wait. Let me back up. Remix opened today. I've talked a lot before about how Remix is my absolute favorite fandom activity, my High Holy Day of Obligation in all matters fannish. And it's not just the writing, though I generally do love that too, it's also seeing what someone else has made. In My Brother's Keeping is one of those stories I really love and feel a certain prideful thrill for having written; I can claim nothing for the remix of it, the genius of some other writer, but I feel something of that same prideful thrill for having had anything to do with the inception of its ideas. It's all the things I've talked about when I talk about what *I* like about Remix and remixing: an idea almost entirely different from the original and creating something that stands completely on its own (and beautifully so) but that also reflects back at the original in these really artful ways, making the stories complementary pieces like twin jewels in a single setting. I mean...okay, I feel like I'm giving myself too much credit there, but I really am so completely enamored by this remix, the ideas behind it and embedded in it, the central, absolute, upfront SamandDean that sinks through the core of it, and all the really COOL embroidery and detail work that goes around that central core. As I said in my comment, the story was not written for me but it's still a great gift and a pleasure to read. I know I'm going to be thinking about it for a long while. Finders Keepers (Sin Crouching at the Door Extended Remix) Sam/Dean, NC-17. If you do read it, please give this lovely anonymouse a tip of the hat; Remix always gets far too little feedback, imo, for the amount of effort undertaken by these writers. Mood: happy

	2009.07.18  16.19 Fic: A Kept Boy 60/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2,080 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. Podfic version read by the amazing superstitiousme (found here, courtesy of the very kind general_jinjur). And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( It's very confusing. ) Mood: blah

	2009.07.14  20.19 Fic: A Kept Boy 59/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 3,395 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. Podfic version read by the amazing superstitiousme (found here, courtesy of the very kind general_jinjur). And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( What's the emergency? ) Mood: busy

	2009.07.04  18.08 Fic: A Kept Boy 58/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 3,835 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. Special thanks to those of you forced to hold my hands as I flail. I don't thank you nearly often enough. ( Please. I'm here. I'm right here. ) Mood: accomplished Music: Michael Jackson - Baby Be Mine

	2009.06.21  21.59 Meta: Societal Musings (AKB) I've said several times that I see AKB largely as a love story. For that reason, I've had to keep the focus very tight on Jensen and Jeff, even though there's a lot about the greater society that a) comes into play and b) that interests me. And so I think about it a lot, even if it only makes it obliquely into the greater story. ( A little of this, a little of that. ) Mood: tired

	2009.06.20  12.24 Fic: A Kept Boy 57/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2,900 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( Wouldn't you want the chance? ) Mood: hungry

	2009.06.17  18.47 Meta: AKB Jeff, Screwed Up and Screwed You know, I've spent a lot of time and energy and verbiage talking about Jensen's past factors and, to a lesser degree, the past factors of other slaves in the universe, but I don't feel like I've spent a lot of time explicitly talking about Jeff's past factors. Audience reaction to Jeff, in particular, seems to run the gamut...though I like to tell myself that people are coming around. (What? We all need our illusions.) I don't really want to speculate how much of that is a lack of love for RL JDM, but as an AKB character, I think there are two major contributory factors. 1) Jeff is an owner and holds an unconscionable amount of power over Jensen and every other slave in his possession (and arguably, ANY slave) and 2) Jeff is a very flawed 'hero', who makes many mistakes with his power and privilege. ( Which...when you get right down to it, is kind of why I *love* AKB Jeff. ) Mood: depressed

	2009.06.09  22.04 Meta: Master Last post of the night. I feel like I wanted to get more into this, but I'm flailing about how or what else I would say about it and, frankly, I'm a little too exhausted to think straight. So. One of the things I like to do is play with words. Obviously, right? I like to play them off each other, I like to use them in ways that defy or redefine expected meanings and I like playing with words that can (and do) mean many things at the same time. Master is one of those words that can be a pejorative (as in slavery) or a positive (as in the kink scene). It can be used with sarcasm (Let me get that for you right now, O my Lord and Master), it can be a workmanlike word (a skill you need to master); like Jensen himself, it's very adaptable. In AKB, 'Master' is a word that Jeff is profoundly uncomfortable with. He insists his slaves call him by his given name, against convention/etiquette, and only allows himself to be referred to as 'Master' in public, observable situations where to not be called Master would draw more attention/discomfort than otherwise. For Jeff, 'Master' has clearly come to contain all the negative connotations of slavery and he can't disengage from the word on that basis. As a result, it creates conflict between him and Jensen. Because, on the other hand, the word 'Master' has near-talismanic qualities for Jensen. ( And rightfully so. ) Mood: exhausted

	2009.06.09  21.13 Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better I've thought about making this a fandom secret, but, besides my utter inability to master PhotoShop, I realized...I have no shame. ( spoilers for the pilot of Glee ) Mood: crappy

	2009.06.09  16.56 Fic: A Kept Boy 56/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Sexual, mental and physical abuse of adults and minors. Dark themes, adult concepts and language. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2,342 AN: Master list of previous chapters found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( How did I get myself into this? ) Mood: drained

	2009.06.08  16.48 We Don't Have Time For Your Blah Blah Blah For the most part, I don't like doing too many personal updates on this journal. On the other hand, there are times the things going on in my personal life are affecting the fic (or the meta or the random ranting and polls) and I feel it's somewhat unfair to keep people guessing as to what's going on behind the scenes. Long story short, I got a new job. It's the same kind of consulting work I was doing in Indianapolis, which means my work days are a minimum of 10 hours and often more than that. So between that and sleep, I only have, at most, 6 hours a day to get everything done that I need to get done, including writing. I'm already abysmal at replying to comments; I recognize and own that, with shame, but it's probably going to get a whole lot worse, because given the choice between writing more and answering comments, writing still always wins. I apologize for that, but it is what it is. Hopefully you won't think any worse of me than you already do. I always WANT it to go without saying, but I suspect it never does, so I'll reiterate: friend or defriend at will, and godspeed. Mood: frustrated

	2009.06.07  17.59 Is this pimping or preening? So, because it's Remix time (the HAPPIEST TIME OF THE YEAR), I was updating Love is Just a Bloodsport so that it would be SUPER up to date for my remixer and, as a part of that, I was catching up A Kept Boy. Which led to a couple realizations. 1. I have been working on AKB, in one form or fashion, since July 10, 2008. (WOW) 2. AKB is now in excess of 100,000 words (111,540, to be precise). 3. It is long time for me to get off my lazy butt and create a master post, instead of just linking to the tag. (*sigh*) So I did that. AKB Master Post, at your disposal, with links to all current chapters and the outtakes. Hmmm. I wonder if I should bother to link the meta too? Mood: accomplished

	2009.06.06  22.56 Fic: A Kept Boy 55/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Language. Dark themes. Sexual situations & mentions of abuse. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2,478 AN: Previous parts found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( Difficult is one word for it, sure. ) Mood: content

	2009.06.06  18.49 Give Me Your Answer Do For once, this is not a sixersfan problem. Okay, so quietdiscerning is visiting and I'm showing her the movie Shelter for the first time. And we both vaguely remember that there were TWO different J2 versions of Shelter written by fandom. But we can only find one of them. So. ARE we totally tripping on kool-aid or is there really a second version, besides the one by nilsi_pilsifan? Mood: curious

	2009.06.03  10.27 Meta: The Boy in A Kept Boy A Kept Boy. A Kept Boy. A Kept Boy. Though I'll be the first to tell you that I'm horrible at titles, I nonetheless invest a lot of time, thought and meaning into them. A lot of my titles come from song lyrics, particularly songs that speak to me about that story. Sometimes—rare, blessed times that they are—they spring up full-formed. At the time that I started writing AKB, I was stuck on the title of another book—one I haven't actually read—called A Suitable Boy, by Vikram Seth. I honestly have no idea what the book is about, but I'd seen it mentioned by one friend on my flist and then, a number of months later, I saw it in the house of another friend and something about the title captured my attention. I don't know how it works for other people, but I get these momentary pashes; phrases, songs, images that stick crossways in my head and repeat ad nauseam until they've run their course. Sometimes that course is years' long, but whatever. Anyway. 'A Suitable Boy', while alluring, was also, obviously taken. And, I thought, not entirely suited to the story that would become AKB. The other part of 'A Kept Boy' was the BDSM connotations. I think I have mentioned before that my intentions weren't originally to write something as SRS BZNS as AKB has become. My original plan was something much more typical, much more id-fic. And what's come out is still very much an id-fic, I think, but in different ways than I anticipated. And, so, lately, I've been musing not so much on the 'kept' part as I have the 'boy' part. ( Long, rambling, probably pointless and mostly for my own pleasure… ) Mood: contemplative

	2009.06.02  01.12 Fic: A Kept Boy 54/? Fandom: CWRPS Pairing: Jeff/Jensen, Jared/Jensen Rating: Adult Warnings: Slavefic AU. Language. Dark themes. Sexual situations & mentions of abuse. Disclaimer: This is in no way a true story. Word Count: 2, 219 AN: Previous parts found here. Cast of characters can be found here. Banner by the lovely and generous bloodquartz. And don't forget the other really awesome stories to be found at whatwekeep. ( It's all happening too fast. ) Mood: weird

	2009.05.28  19.18 Oh, Jensen, the things I do for you So a little while ago, shotofjack sent me the following in an email: Brian Truitt (some cinema guy) is starting a #jonhammforcaptainamerica hash on twitter. Do you think we should start #jensenacklesforcaptainamerica on twitter? And I think it's a GREAT idea. I love John Hamm, but the thought of Jensen in all that skintight lycra takes me to a VERY HAPPY PLACE. So what say you, fandom? Shall we take it to the streets Twitter? #jensenacklesforcaptainamerica! Mood: geeky

	2009.05.28  09.32 The One Where Nilchance and I Are All Talk So. I do this thing where, when getting a new comment on an old story, I sometimes reread the old comments before replying to the new one. And so I was doing that and I came across this convo between me and nilchance that I'D TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT. And now, all I can think is, "DAMN. WHY DIDN'T WE WRITE THAT?" nilchance: I'd deeply love to see Ten, Jack and Ianto in the same room. poisontaster: God, yes! And I think it would be good for Ianto to, to see someone who Jack will bend his neck to; to see Jack being...vulnerable to someone. Of course Ianto would be completely jealous too, but I think it would also be kind of eye opening for him. nilchance: Well, I just went to a happy place. poisontaster: I think that's a sign you need to write that! *waggles eyebrows* nilchance: *raise eyebrows* poisontaster: Oh come on...are you going to say you can't see it? With Jack dithering back and forth between the Doctor and Ianto and Ianto just being stiff and watchful and quasi jealous and the Doctor just watching the two of them until he finally figures it out and the light goes on... And then the Doctor totally tops them both and it's AWESOME and there's sex. nilchance: ... Damn you. You write it. *puppy eyes* ( In which we riff and, ultimately, write nothing. ) Mood: silly

	2009.05.26  22.45 Books: Heart Shaped Box I just finished reading Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill. The unqualified review is that it's a real page-turner of a book and I enjoyed it. I'll definitely be looking for Hill's next book. ( The qualified review, now with less squee (and lots more spoilers)… ) Mood: contemplative

	2009.05.21  16.37 PSA The Husband and I will be taking our long-delayed honeymoon this Memorial Day weekend and I probably won't be around until Tuesday at the earliest. You know, if you were looking for me. Be excellent to each other and have a mahvelous weekend! Mood: happy