Deeth ond fyghtynge: thatte ys nat terribli interestyng.

TITLE: Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
BY: McKay
RATED: PG
PAIRINGS: (alluded to, nothing explicit - it'll make sense in context) SS/HP, RL/SB, PW/OW, FW/GW, NL/CW, SS/SB, AD/RH, SB/HP, OW/HP... oh, just assume everybody with everybody, and it'll be close
DISCLAIMER: All HP characters and concepts are copyrighted by JKR and Warner Bros. This is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only.
ARCHIVE: My site only
FEEDBACK: Sure
SUMMARY: written based on a challenge submitted to McTabby's Blame Each Other poll, although this wasn't the challenge I was assigned. It just clicked too well for me not to. Ginny obsessed with slashy subtext. combination fantasy, daydreams and reality. Bonus points for boys in eyeliner. This gets vaguely meta-fictional in places.



For someone with a reputation - among her brothers, anyway - of being a chatterbox, Ginny Weasley had always been prone to living inside her own head. As she grew older, she began to think of it as a sort of coping device, a way of having privacy in a small house filled with too many people, most of whom were annoying, noisy, rambunctious older brothers.

Being the baby and a girl, she found herself waiting a great deal. Waiting for the bathroom to be free, waiting for the potatoes to be passed, waiting for her turn on the family broom. Instead of allowing all that time spent waiting to make her bored and restless, she had learnt to turn inward and had developed a rich and rather fanciful inner life as a result, one cultivated over years so that her imaginative powers were quite keen indeed by the time adolescence hit and she began adding romantic daydreams to the mix.

Many of them had focused on Harry at first, which embarrassed her now that she was older and all grown up, not at all prone to school-girlish crushes. It hadn't helped that he saved her life in a most dashing and heroic manner, almost at the cost of his own. That had fuelled quite a number of fantasies! She had spent many a night burrowed under her thick blankets in the Gryffindor girls' dorm, smiling as she cuddling her pillow and pretended that it was Harry's broad, manly chest she was nestling against.

Never mind that Harry's chest was not at all broad, nor Harry himself particularly manly; even now, he was still shorter than Ron and had a slight build. In her dreams, however, he was the epitome of masculine beauty.

At least he was, until she saw his godfather for the first time. After that, her daydreams centered more around a bad boy with pale, intense eyes, and black, wind-tousled hair, riding a motorbike (which was why the ebony waves of his hair were always wind-tousled; they might be romantic fantasies, but that didn't mean they shouldn't make sense).

Naturally, her detailed musings involved having her own arms wrapped around that lean waist, the scent of leather filling her nose as she pressed against his back, her hips snugged against his backside, and... and...

And that was usually about the time she had to cast a sound-proofing spell around her bed.

That changed, however, when Harry returned from summer hols with photos. He had managed to spend a little time with Sirius, who was apparently living with Professor Lupin even though it would have been safer for him to be out of the country, since he was still a criminal even though everybody knew he hadn't done it.

Well, "everybody" being Harry, Ron, and Hermione, and herself, because Ron had told her.

There was one photograph of just Sirius and Professor Lupin that Harry said he had taken when they weren't paying attention, and there was something in the way they were looking at each other while they talked and laughed together, something not-quite-hidden in their smiles as they leaned in close to one another, their bodies turned to close each other in and shut the rest of the world out... something clicked in Ginny's imagination, and suddenly it wasn't herself she imagined riding behind Sirius on the motorbike, but Professor Lupin.

She could see Sirius in snug, faded jeans that looked as if they were about to go at the knees, a black leather jacket, and a white... no, a black tee shirt, maybe a cigarette dangling from his lips, because even though smoking is bad for you, it's still sexy when bad boys do it. Professor Lupin would be wearing... black leather trousers. Yes, and a black sweater, the kind where the sleeves were too long and came down over his hands. And boots! They would both be wearing boots, because those were sexy, too.

Sirius would have short hair like in the photographs, but not too short, because she didn't like crewcuts, and Professor Lupin would let his grow out... maybe shoulder-length, and sometimes, he might even wear it in a ponytail, like Bill. And oo! He would wear black eyeliner sometimes, too, like some of those actors and musicians Hermione had shown her photos of. They were in Muggle magazines that Hermione had made her swear not to tell anyone she had seen, and she hadn't, because it would mean Hermione wouldn't let her look at them anymore, and she liked looking at the pictures of the pretty boys, even if they didn't move.

She made up stories for Sirius and Professor Lupin that all ended happily, with Sirius being cleared of all criminal charges after a huge battle where You Know Who was defeated, and both Sirius and Professor Lupin fought heroically, and maybe one of them almost died - sometimes it was Sirius; other times, it was Professor Lupin - and that's almost always when they admitted their love for each other, and Sirius swore that he would rescue Professor Lupin from his life of poverty as soon as he was free, and he always kept that promise, and they lived happily ever after and rode around on Sirius' motorbike, except during the full moon.

But there were only so many variations to make on that story, and soon she began casting about for other leading men, matchmaking among her male classmates in her mind.

She thought about Harry first, but the question was, whom could she pair him with? Ron?

EEEEWWWW! Brothers having sex! ...

Oooo... brothers having sex...

She thought about the twins for a moment, imagining them in bed together, mischievous smiles softening as they gazed into each other's eyes, nimble fingers bringing pleasure instead of trouble... a whoopee cushion beneath their pillow...

Okay, no, maybe she didn't really want to go there after all.

Besides, Ron would never fall in love with Harry. He was boringly straight and obviously had a crush on Hermione, whether he wanted to admit it or not, the stupid git.

Maybe Neville...? No, Neville needed someone gentle and kind to take care of him, because Neville was so shy and insecure. He deserved to be courted, his heart slowly won over by someone patient and understanding who could see what a special gift Neville's love would truly be.

Actually, she mused, Professor Lupin would be a good match for Neville. He was older, more experienced, and very patient. She remembered hearing how he had made a point to help boost Neville's confidence in class - the boggart story had circulated the school very quickly indeed - and he would be thoughtful and appreciative of Neville's unique qualities.

But she hated to think of breaking up Sirius and Professor Lupin, so she continued mulling over the possibilities. Colin? No, Colin was a darling boy, but too high energy for Neville. Colin would be far better off with someone like one - or perhaps both - of the twins. She thought about pairing Colin up with Harry, but that would be too obvious. Everybody knew that Colin had a huge case of hero worship for Harry, but she couldn't see the two of them together. Knowing what she did of Harry, he wouldn't want someone who put him on a pedestal. Harry needed a challenge, not follower.

So who to pair with Neville? Percy? No, she knew exactly whom Percy needed to be with: the former Gryffindor team captain, Oliver Wood. Oliver was as single-minded about Quidditch as Percy was about his work, and they'd get on famously, both of them balancing out each other's obsessions quite nicely. Plus they'd just look so sweet together, especially when Oliver wore his uniform, she thought with a sentimental sigh. Percy would love the feel of the supple leather gloves on his skin and ask Oliver to keep them on sometimes when they... well, you know. Oliver would think that Percy is cute when he gets obsessive about work, and that he looks adorable in glasses.

But that still left Neville unpartnered until it struck her: Charlie! He was quiet and patient, and he was very good with animals, even Hagrid said so, which meant he would take the time to help Neville feel safe and secure. Oh, yes, she spun quite a few stories about Neville and her older brother in which Charlie wooed Neville slowly, building his self-esteem and his security until he felt completely safe trusting Charlie with his heart. Oh, it was so sweet...

Harry, however, remained problematic. After pairing off everyone else, that left very few choices left for the love of his life. In a fit of desperation, she tried to imagine him with Ron, but the scenes somehow always seemed to end up with them talking about Quidditch rather than snogging, which put a damper on things. Finally, she decided it was a sign that they were simply not Meant To Be and started looking for someone else instead.

Oliver Wood seemed a natural choice, but she rather liked him with Percy, and besides, all the battling broomsticks imagery was off-putting. Still, two yummy young men in uniform... mmm... that did have potential if she couldn't think of anyone else.

Sirius was an option briefly, but all those scenarios kept turning into love triangles with Professor Lupin that ended too sadly for her to enjoy. She also thought about Professor Lupin, but that just seemed too obscure. She even briefly considered the headmaster, but the age difference was simply too much for her to reconcile, and besides, she was convinced that Dumbledore and Hagrid were having it off regularly.

It took reality to give her a most unexpected idea, one that she hadn't considered, but once it occurred to her, her eager imagination latched onto it straight-away.

She went to Professor Snape's office after classes one day, in need of a permission slip from him so that she could check out an advanced potions text from the Restricted Section. Ron had teased her about hanging around Hermione too much, but Potions happened to be one of her better subjects, and she wanted to do a little extra work to prepare for her NEWTS and OWLS, which were looming uncomfortably close.

The door was open, but Professor Snape wasn't alone. Harry was there, and she arrived just in time to see Professor Snape bang his fists on his desk, lean over, and snarl, "I have had enough of your insolent mouth, Potter!"

Her breath caught in her throat, her cheeks flushed, her knees went weak, and she grew light-headed thinking about the possibilities. Snape could grab Harry's robes and yank him into a kiss, thus shutting his insolent mouth quite effectively. Harry could grow angry and blurt out that he could put his mouth to better use in the heat of the moment. They could stare at each other across Snape's desk, the air growing charged between them, their heated gazes locked in a silent battle of wills until finally they both succumbed to their hidden passion, swept everything off Snape's desk and... and...

Oh, dear...

She raced back to Gryffindor Tower, mind and body flooding, and threw herself on her bed and drew the curtains, awash with creative glee. Pairing Harry with Snape? Oh, it was perfect! How could she not have seen it before? Of course their long-standing, mutual antagonism stemmed from nothing less than their secret, burning desire for each other!

She had been so caught up in pairing up people on the like-attracts-like principle, she had completely forgotten the opposites attract principle, and she positively boggled at the options that were suddenly opening up before her.

If Harry and Snape had a volatile relationship, what about Snape and Sirius, who had hated each other for decades? What if... What if the cause of all that animosity was nothing more than that they wanted to shag each other senseless? It was sexual energy and tension channeled a different direction, but if something happened to force them to deal with it, the results would be explosive! They would tear each other's clothes off and shag madly, perhaps on Snape's desk, or against a wall, and there might be bruises and hickeys after, because it wouldn't be sweet, tender, loving shagging... Well, not at first, anyway, but maybe not ever, because they would always be combatants at heart, just confining their battles to between the sheets.

Or - or what if they were both in love with Professor Lupin, and so Sirius was jealous and tried to keep Snape away from Professor Lupin? And really, Professor Lupin was in love with Snape, too, but that prank Ron had told her about kept them apart for years and years? And then Professor Lupin returned to Hogwarts, but Snape was still distrustful of him, because he thought Professor Lupin had betrayed him. Maybe Professor Lupin courted him, or maybe he saved Snape's life in a heroic battle, or maybe he was kidnapped by Death Eaters, and Snape realized how deeply he really loved Professor Lupin and saved his life.

And of course there was Harry's other rival to consider - Draco Malfoy. Gryffindor and Slytherin, locked in passion. It was almost too exciting to bear! She had fantasy fodder for months with all these new possibilities open to her active and fertile imagination!

She became so caught up in her daydreams that she began to weave romantic scenarios at the slightest provocation. All they had to do was pass the salt to one another at dinner, and that evening, Seamus and Dean were shagging like rabbits in an elaborate story built around that single instance in Ginny's mind. She saw sweet, steamy, smutty male love everywhere and coloured her perception to the point that the inevitable happened.

It cost Gryffindor fifty points and earnt her two weeks' worth of daily detention, but everyone (except two) who had been present at the time said it was worth it just to see the look on Snape's face when, in the heat of frustration after he and Harry had squared off for the millionth time that term alone, she had blurted out the first thing that had popped into her mind:

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just kiss him already!"



-end-