Some history: I was inspired (as one of the magnificent contingent of, oh, about seven-ish Kuei fans on the WWW :-P ) to write a crack-fic in which hilariousness ensues after Kuei decides to follow Sokka's advice on how to attract girls.
Disclaimer: This work of fan fiction is not for personal profit. All the characters used in this fan fic are the property of Nickelodeon and/or other designated copyright and/or trademark holders, except for original characters created by myself.
“Splendid whistling, Bosco.”
Kuei clapped in delight as his bear, seated on the flat grassy plot near the beach, whistled the strains of “Four Seasons”. Sokka, seated on a nearby rock, growled, “Yeah, really frightening.”
After Bosco’s whistling died away, Bosco tugged his hat and looked around. He seemed to be adjusting well to roughing it, though Sokka appeared to have been a little unhappy about having Bosco in his tent; that struck Kuei as odd. He’d always loved it when Bosco would hop onto the bed next to him (though, Kuei admitted to himself, his old bed was a large down-filled mattress, not a tent).
Sokka looked up and said wearily, “Hey, your Earthiness, sit next to me on this rock for a bit. Bosco’s bear training can wait a while. After all, he’s bearly learning anything.”
At Kuei’s confused expression, Sokka groaned and put his head in his hands. “Why does nobody laugh at my jokes?”
Kuei sat down on the rock next to Sokka, and briefly put his hand on the teenager’s shoulder. “I’m sure Katara appreciates them, Sokka.”
Sokka’s laugh sounded a bit strangled. He lifted his head, squinting at Kuei. “How old are you, anyway?”
“Well, I’m twenty-five. My birthday was some time ago.” He pushed his glasses up his nose a bit as he fondly remembered the reception at the Palace. Though the fact that Long Feng had organized it all did ruin the association a little.
“Um… I guess there’s no good way to ask. Did your, uh, wife get out of the Palace?”
Kuei blankly asked, “Wife?”
Sokka looked shocked. “You’re twenty-five and you’re not even married? How’re you going to, y’know, make little Earth Kings so you can have heirs?”
Kuei, embarrassed, said, “Oh. Well, I think Long Feng would have solved that matter eventually by bringing me a girl from the Upper Ring. I suppose I’ll have to do that for myself, now.”
Sokka’s eyes gleamed. Kuei wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.
Eagerly, Sokka said, “Well, you’ve come to exactly the right person! See, with girls, you’ve got to make sure you’re not too interested if you know what I mean.”
Kuei was puzzled. “Are you sure?”
“Hey. Remember who’s got a ferocious Kyoshi warrior girlfriend, huh? Me!”
Kuei acquiesced and kept listening to the knowledgeable young man. Bosco plodded up next to Kuei and sat down, prompting Kuei to reach up and pat Bosco’s head.
After several minutes of Sokka explaining things he hadn’t had the faintest idea about, Kuei felt rather like the expert on women. Unfortunately, he would only find out much later that even Sokka was winging it when it came to women.